Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 17 - Beaver's Electric Trains - full transcript

After agreeing to let June give his old electric train set to neighbor boy Johnny Battson, Beaver decides to pretend the trains are broken and keep them for himself; but Beaver's sneaky ...

Starring...

and...

Fine.

Oh, here's Ward now.

Well, we'll get
together real soon. Bye.

- Hi, dear.
- Hi.

With whom are we
getting together real soon?

The Batsons.

I called them up to
see if they wanted

Beaver's old electric train
set for their eight-year-old,

and Florence said
they'd be delighted.



Oh, good. Say, how'd you
happen to think of the trains?

I haven't seen them
around in years.

Well, I was trying to get our spare card
table down off the shelf in the basement,

and I got hit on the
head with a freight car.

Well, traffic's bad all over.

Say, what was Beaver's
reaction to giving his trains away?

I haven't mentioned
it to him yet.

He's upstairs, but...

Well, he hasn't even looked at
those trains for over two years.

I'm sure he won't mind giving away
something he never uses anymore.

Yeah, he's really
growing up, isn't he?

I guess he doesn't get a kick out
of little boy things like he used to.

Pow, pow, pow, pow.

- Say, Dad?
- Yes, Wally?



How did things go with
you down at the office today?

What?

I knew it would throw you,

but our economic teacher said
that teenagers are too withdrawn,

and we don't have
enough interest in others,

so I thought I'd ask you how things
went with you down at the office today.

Well, Wally, things went
just fine down at the office.

Okay. Could you
pass the bread, Mom?

- Beaver?
- Yes, Mom?

You know your
old electric train set

that you have down
in the basement?

You mean the one you bought
me when I was a little kid?

Hey, I remember that set.

Dad broke the
engine when we got it,

and we had to get a new one.

Beaver, you haven't played
with that train in a long time.

Must be all of two years.

Gee, Mom, I think I know
what you're going to say.

You do?

Yeah. You're going to tell me

how hard Dad
works for his money,

and how expensive
the trains were,

and how I at least should
show my appreciation

by playing with
them once in a while.

But gee, Mom, I'm too big a
guy to be playing with trains.

You mean you don't
mind if I give them away?

Oh, you're going
to give them away?

Well, Beaver, they're just down
in the basement, gathering dust.

I told Mrs. Batson that her
boy could have the train set.

You know little Jimmy.

Yeah, I guess they'd be
good for a little squirt like him.

Okay, Mom. You
can give them away.

Well, that's fine, Beaver.

And say, before we
give the trains away,

I think you should bring them
up out of the basement tomorrow

and clean them up a little bit.

You know, make
them look presentable.

Okay, Dad.

You know, Beav, when
you were a little kid,

you used to be scared to
go down in the basement.

I was?

Yeah. You used to think that
the furnace was a big monster

with red eyes and teeth,

and that the pipes were
arms, reaching out to grab you.

Boy, I must have been
a real corny little kid.

Hello, Mrs. Cleaver.
Is Beaver home?

Yes, Gilbert. He's
home. Come on in.

I'm surprised to see you.

Beaver said you
couldn't play today.

I wasn't supposed to. My mom
told me to come home from school

and clean up my room.

Then she didn't like
the way I was doing it,

and then I got a real break.

Oh, you did?

Yeah. My dad came home and
told me to get out of the house,

because he couldn't stand to
hear my mother yelling at me.

You did get a break.

Beaver's up in his room.

Okay. Thanks, Mrs. Cleaver.

Hi, Gilbert.

I thought you had to stay home
and clean up your crummy room.

Oh, I got out of it.

My father came home grouchy
and couldn't stand the sight of me.

Hey, that's pretty neat.

Boy, Beav, what
kind of a baby are you,

playing with a little
choo-choo train.

I'm not playing with it.

I'm just getting it
ready to give it away.

Oh, sure. You're
giving them away.

Well, sure I am.

My mom's giving it to
that Jimmy Batson kid.

That's good,
because the next thing,

you'd be playing
with teddy bears.

Ah, pipe down,
will you? Plug it in.

I want to see if it still works.

Okay.

Here goes.

Hey, it runs pretty neat.

Hold it a second, Beav.

What's the matter?

You don't want any automobiles
getting wrecked, do you?

No.

Okay, now put the station out and I'll
make the train stop right in front of it.

Toot, toot.

Toot, toot. Toot, toot.

Mayfield, next stop.

All out for Mayfield.

Hey, that's pretty
neat. Let me try it.

Clang, clang, clang,
clang, clang, clang.

Woo, woo.

Woo, woo.

Woo, woo.

Toot, toot. Toot, toot.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hello, Wally.

Hey, I just thought of the neatest
present to get Dad for his birthday.

Oh, fine. What is it?

Twin pipes for the car.

Good heavens,
what are twin pipes?

Gee, Mom, don't you even
know what's going on in the world?

Hey, is Beaver home yet?

He was upstairs cleaning up
his train set for the Batson boy,

and then Gilbert came over.

Oh. Do you want me to go
up and tell Gilbert to beat it?

Why would you do that?

Well, the last time
he was up there,

they took my electric razor and
shaved all the bristles off my hair brush.

Well, I don't think they're
doing anything like that now.

Okay, Mom, but if you
hear any screaming up there,

you'll know I caught
them doing something.

What's in the bag?

Oh, it's just my
frog from biology.

We had a student
council meeting,

and I didn't get a chance to
cut him up with the other guys.

I thought maybe later, if you're
not using the bread board...

Wally, you are not
using my bread board.

Okay, Mom.

But gee, where would
Thomas Edison be

if his mother held
him back like that?

Train 99, leaving for New York,
Baltimore and San Francisco. All aboard.

Track 23, all clear.

Toot, toot. Toot, toot.

Woo, woo.

- Woo, woo.
- Toot, toot.

Woo, woo.

Woo, woo. Toot, toot.

- Toot, toot.
- Toot, toot. Toot, toot.

- Woo, woo.
- Woo, woo.

Toot, toot. Toot, toot.

What's the matter with you guys?

You go flakey or something?

Oh, hi, Wally.

Hey, I thought
playing with trains

was supposed to
be kids' stuff, Beaver.

Sure, it's kids' stuff.

But it's also a
lot of fun stuff.

Yeah, but a guy your age isn't
supposed to have fun with kids' stuff.

I think it's okay, Wally, as long as
you don't go around telling everybody.

Hey, look, I thought you were
supposed to be cleaning them

and fixing them up to give
them to that Jimmy Batson.

Yeah, I know I am, but now I
don't think I'll give them to him.

There's a couple more
years' fun left in them.

I don't know about that.

Mom and Dad already
promised them to that Batson kid.

Yeah, but Beav can get out
of it if he screams loud enough.

Hey, Wally,

you want to work the
crossing signals, too?

Huh?

Oh, no. That's okay.

I have to go take a shower.

Golly, a shower in the
middle of the daytime?

Yeah. Wally takes a lot
of showers in the daytime.

- What for?
- I don't know.

He's got some goofy idea
about being clean all the time.

I had a daytime shower once,

but that was just because my
mother was taking me to the doctor.

Yeah, I guess doctors don't want
kids coming in and getting them all dirty.

- Hey, Beav, I got a neat idea.
- What, Gilbert?

I got some tracks and a tunnel
left over from my old train set.

Why don't I bring them
over here tomorrow?

Hey, that'd be neat.

And then we could have
a real neat, big railroad.

Yeah. Okay, I'll bring
over the junk tomorrow.

I got to go home
now. I'll see you, Beav.

I'll see you, Gilbert.

Hey, Wally, did Mom say when that
Jimmy Batson kid was coming over?

No, it was kind of vague.

Oh. Well, if he comes
over when you're here,

would you mind telling
him we changed our minds?

Gee, Beav, what are
Mom and Dad going to say?

They already
promised them to him.

I figured maybe tomorrow
night, I could go down

and tell Dad that I
wanted to keep my trains.

What's wrong with tonight?

Well, you know
how Dad is, Wally.

Tonight, he's got
his mind made up

that I'm going to
give the trains away.

But if I wait till
tomorrow night,

maybe his mind
won't be so made up.

Yeah, that works
for a lot of things.

Even a busted window doesn't
look so busted after a couple of days.

Sure, Wally.

Okay, Beav. If the Batson
kid comes by tomorrow,

I'll stall him off.

Not at all, Mr. Batson.

No, Beaver's delighted that
your boy's getting the train.

Think nothing of it.

Yeah, all right. Fine.

Good night.

They're going to pick
Beaver's trains up tomorrow.

Good. I know this is going to
make that Jimmy boy really happy.

I hope so.

When I was a kid on the farm, an
uncle of mine who lived in the city

sent me a pogo stick
for Christmas one year.

- A pogo stick?
- Uh-huh.

My brother and I had
never seen one before.

We used to drop it off the barn
to see how high it would bounce.

Boy, Wally, I wonder
whatever made me think

I was too old to
play with trains.

I don't know. I guess because everybody was
always telling you at school and at home

to grow up and act like a man.

Pretty soon, you forget
how to act like a kid.

Wouldn't it be neat if a guy
could stay a kid all his life?

You'd never get away with that.

But you know, when
you get real old,

you have what they
call a second childhood.

No fooling?

Boy, at least I got
something to look forward to.

Boy, Gilbert, I didn't know
you had so much train stuff.

Yeah, they gave me this
tunnel for having the mumps,

and they gave
me this freight car

for having the measles.

Gee...

How sick did you
have to get to get this?

Oh, I didn't have
to get sick at all.

My dad went down
to the hobby shop

to get a switch fixed, and
he came back with this.

That doesn't sound
like your father.

Oh, he wasn't always grouchy.

Just since he went
into business for himself.

Well, let's take all this
stuff over to my house

and put it together
with my train.

Okay. On the way, let's
go over to Prospect Avenue

where they're building
those new houses,

and we can walk
through the hot tar

and get our shoes half-sole.

Nah, that's only fun in the summer
time when you're barefooted.

- Mrs. Cleaver.
- Yes?

I'm Georgia Batson.

My mother asked me to come over and pick
up a train for my little brother, Jimmy.

Oh, yes. Come on in, Georgia.

I'll have my son get it for you.

Oh, you don't have to
bother the little fellow.

- I can get it.
- It's no bother.

Beaver isn't home,
but Wally won't mind.

- Wally?
- Yes, Mom?

Will you come down, please?

My little brother was so
excited about getting a train,

he hardly touched his
breakfast this morning.

Gee, Mom, I'm pretty busy.

Well, what was it
you wanted, Mom?

This is my son, Wally
Cleaver. This is Georgia Batson.

Hi, Wally.

Hi. How do you do?

Gee, I haven't seen
you around school.

Oh, I don't go to Mayfield
High. I go away to school.

Oh. I guess that's
why I haven't seen you.

Georgia came over
to get Beaver's trains.

Oh, yeah. The trains.

Wally, would you go
ahead and get them for me?

Georgia, would you excuse me?
I have some cookies in the oven.

Go ahead.

Well, are they ready?

Are what all ready?

Your little brother's trains.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they're all ready
and everything, but...

Well, it's just that...

You know I'm supposed
to pick them up, don't you?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Well, he's not here right now.

Maybe you ought to come back later when
he is here so he can tell you about them.

Well, you know
how little kids are.

They like to say goodbye
to junk and all that.

Wally, I drove all
the way over here,

and my brother's waiting at
home for me to bring them.

Well, he'd just die if I didn't
come back with those trains.

Gee, I wouldn't want him
to do anything like that.

Well, the thing
is... Yes, Wally?

I'll go get them.

Oh, thank you, Wally.

You're sweet.

Yeah, sure. Thank you.

Hey, Beav, if that Batson
kid comes to the door

while we're playing
with the trains,

we'll tell him they won't run.

Gee, that would be a big lie.

Well, we can pull the plug out, and that
way, we'll only be telling sort of a lie.

Yeah. Well, I guess
if you're in a spot,

you're allowed to tell
stories to little kids.

Yeah, and it's easier to
push little kids around, too.

Yeah, until they start bawling.

Hey, they're gone.

Hey, what's going on?

Hey, Wally, have
you seen my train?

Well, yeah. I saw your train.

They kind of came and got them.

Boy, what a gyp.

Mom gave it away
before you got home, huh?

Well, no. I was home
when they came and got it.

Why didn't you tell them
Beav wanted to keep his trains?

Well, I tried to,
but she kept saying

that her little brother
was home, waiting for it.

What "she"? Jimmy's mother?

No, it was kind of his sister.

Oh, that's Georgia Batson.

She goes away to school, and she
thinks she looks like Natalie Wood.

Wally, you mean you
gave my train away to a girl

just because she was pretty?

No, I didn't give them to her

just because she was pretty.

What'd she do, Wally? Knock you
down and take them away from you?

Now look, Gilbert, you shut up.

You can't tell me to shut
up. I'm not in your family.

Boy, Wally, just because you
want to be a big shot for a girl,

I had to lose my
whole electric train set.

What are you talking about?

Mom and Dad already
promised him the trains,

and you said it was okay.

Yeah, but you knew I was
going to talk Dad out of it.

You said when that Jimmy
came, you'd stall him off.

But Jimmy didn't come.

You see, Beaver? That's it.

He gave your trains away
to get mushy with a girl.

Cut it out, Gilbert. I did not.

You did too, you did too.

Why'd you go and have to
have a lover boy for a brother?

You watch it, Gilbert.

Rat, rat, rat.

Beaver, you come on out of
there and pick up my books.

Ah, you creepy lover boy.

Boys, what's going on up here?

I can hear you shouting
down in the kitchen.

Hi, Mrs. Cleaver.

Beaver locked himself
in the bathroom.

Beaver, you come out of there.

Uh-uh. I'm going to stay
in here the rest of my life,

so I won't have to see
my crummy brother again.

All right, Wally. Now
what's this all about?

Beaver's sore at me because I
gave his trains to the Batsons.

Now why's he upset about that?

He knew sooner or later,
the boy would come for them.

He had that covered,
Mrs. Cleaver.

He was going to tell
the kid they were busted.

Gilbert, I think maybe
you should go home now.

Yes, ma'am. I think
I better do that, too.

Oh, it's okay, Mrs. Cleaver.

I'm not stealing
anything. This is mine.

Now look, Beaver, you
come on out of there.

Beat it, Wally. Beat it.

Hey Mom, do you want me to
bust in the door with my shoulder,

like they do on TV?

Wally, you'll do no such thing.

- Hey, smells good.
- Hi.

Yes, I hope, in spite of
everything that's happened today,

we can at least
have a good dinner.

Well, that's a pleasant
statement to come home to.

Oh, I'm sorry, Ward.

I didn't mean to
sound so frightening.

Something wrong with the boys?

Mm-hmm.

You know, it's a funny thing.

I read an article
today that said

when the husband comes
home from a hard day's work,

he should not be
immediately subjected

to the cares and
problems of the household.

I heartily agree.

Went on to say that he
should relax for a time,

have a pleasant
dinner, and then later,

the problems of the
day should be taken up

in a quiet and orderly manner.

True, but I'm
afraid by that time,

Beaver's going to be awfully tired
of being locked in the bathroom.

Okay, forget the article.

What are the gory details?

Well, it seems Beaver changed
his mind about giving away his trains,

and now he's blaming Wally,

because he gave them to the
Batson girl when she came after them.

And now Beaver's locked
himself in the bathroom.

Just like he used
to when he was little.

That article read
so beautifully, too.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Wally. Is he still
locked in the bathroom?

Yeah. Why don't we all just quietly
move away from here and leave him there?

Wally, I don't think that's
a very helpful suggestion.

Gee, Dad, you don't
have to get mad at me

just because you got
a kooky kid for a son.

Beaver?

Come on, Beaver. I want you to
unlock this door and come out of there.

Do I have to, Dad?

Yes, you have to.

Are you going to hit
me when I come out?

Well, of course not.
Now come on, open up.

Beaver, don't you think
you're a little too old

for this kind of foolishness?

Locking yourself
in the bathroom.

It's the sort of thing you used to do
when you were a little baby. Sit down.

Now, what's all this business

about you being
angry with your brother?

Well, I'm sore at him
on account of he's a rat.

Well, could you be
a little more specific?

He's the rat that gave my
trains away to a creepy girl,

just so he could
get in good with her.

Beaver, that
wasn't Wally's fault.

Wasn't it agreed that you
were going to give your trains

to the Batson boy?

Yeah, Dad, but then
I changed my mind

and he gave them away anyways.

But, son, they were
promised to Jimmy.

Yeah, Dad, but I figured
I could work on you...

I mean, talk you out of
it and get it un-agreed.

That's a very childish
attitude, Beaver,

and I think you're
too old to act that way.

- I think that's
the whole trouble, Dad.
- What's that?

How does a guy know when he's
too old to act like a kid anymore?

Well, I think you
stop acting like a kid

when you have a real sense
of responsibility, Beaver.

And that means,
among other things,

that when you make a promise,
you don't go back on your word.

You know, Dad, when I was
locked up in the bathroom,

I sort of figured that out.

Well, I mean, if I hadn't
given the kid the trains

after I'd promised,

it would have made me look bad,

and it would have
made you look bad

and it would have made
Mom and Wally look bad.

What's the use of making
the whole family look crummy

just for a set of
old electric trains?

Well, Beaver, if you figured out

the right thing
to do by yourself,

I think that's a
pretty good indication

that you're not acting
like a kid anymore.

But why didn't you come
out of the bathroom before?

Nobody asked me to, Dad.

Oh.

- Oh, and Dad?
- Yeah?

For my birthday, would you
buy me a set of electric trains?

You better get washed
up for supper, Beav.

Ward, do you think
Beaver was really serious

about wanting an electric
train for his birthday?

It's hard to tell.

But as you said, he's
over at the Batsons' now,

and I don't think he's over there
strictly as a technical advisor.

That's true. And yesterday,
Wally was over at the Batsons'.

All of a sudden, that family's
become very popular with our family.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Hi, Beaver. How'd things
go over at the Batsons'?

Oh, I didn't go over there.

I ran into Gilbert and
Whitey riding their bikes,

so I came home and got mine.

Did you go bicycle
riding instead?

Yeah. It was real neat.

We rode all over the hills
and on the old bridle paths.

And, Dad?

Yes, Beaver?

You know that electric train
I wanted for my birthday?

Yes?

Well, I've been thinking,

and at my age,
that's really kids' stuff.

Oh, it is?

Well, my old bicycle's
getting pretty small for me,

so would you buy me one
for my birthday instead?

Well, Beaver, a bicycle's
quite an expensive item.

But gee, Dad, you're the
one that said I should grow up.

You're not going to
chicken out on me, are you?

No, Beaver. I guess
this is something

we're going to have to live with

just as much as you are.

Gee, thanks, Dad.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
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