Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 36 - Beaver Goes in Business - full transcript
At first, mowing lawns seems like an easy way for Beaver and his friend Gilbert to earn extra money for summer, but no one seems to want their services and bad advice from Wally's friend Eddie results in an angry neighbor. When discouraged Gilbert opts to deliver newspapers instead, even after a nice lady offers to pay the boys $5.00, a determined Beaver decides to try once more; but what will he do when her check bounces?
Starring...
and...
Oh, hi.
Beaver wants to see
you. He's upstairs.
Yeah, I want to see him,
too. This is his jacket, isn't it?
Yes, that's Beaver's jacket. I
recognize some of the spots.
Where'd you find it?
Draped on one of the
camellia bushes out front.
Frankly, a cotton jacket
doesn't do a thing
for a camellia bush.
I suppose he took it
off while he was playing.
Yeah, I suppose.
And when I say, "Uh, Beaver,
why did you hang your
jacket on the camellia bush?"
he'll say, uh, "Well,
because you keep
yelling at me not to throw
my stuff on the ground."
I supposed he has
us on a technicality.
Well, what does he
want to see me about?
Oh, he didn't say, honey.
He just said it was important.
Hmm. I wonder if he got
in trouble at school today.
Oh, I asked him that.
And he said all they
did in school today
was clean out their
desks and goof around.
You think he'll say yes, Wally,
or do you think he'll say no?
He might say yes,
or he might say no,
but you'll never
know 'til you ask him.
Yeah, but do you think
it's more like he might say yes,
or it's more like
he might say no?
Quit bothering me, will ya?
You think I'm
psychic or something?
No, I don't think you're
psychic or something.
I just think you're
a crummy brother.
Ah! Ahhhh!
Ahhhh!
Ahhhhh!
Oh, hi, Dad.
Hello, fellas. Hi, Dad.
Beaver, I found this
hanging on a bush.
Yes, sir. You get mad
when I put it on the ground.
I also get mad when
you hang it on a bush,
and the pocket was full of dirt.
Oh, yes, sir.
I was saving mud
to throw at a guy,
but it turned into dirt
before I met up with him.
Oh. Well, uh, your
mother tells me
you wanted to talk to me.
Uh, yes, sir.
Uh, uh, did you have a
nice day at the office today?
Yes, a very nice day.
For Christ's sakes,
Beaver. Ask him!
Uh, well, could I have
your permission to get a job?
A job? What kind of a job?
He wants to cut lawns
on the weekends, Dad.
Oh, is that what you
want to do, Beaver,
cut lawns?
Uh, yes, sir. Well,
me and Gilbert,
we want to go in the
lawn-cutting business together.
We'll make a lot of money,
so we can be big
shots this summer.
Oh, well, I guess
that'd be all right.
Gee, thanks, Dad.
You know, Beaver, I
was just about your age
when I did this same thing.
Gee, Dad. I don't
know how you had time
to do all the stuff you
did when you were a kid.
Kids stayed kids a lot
longer in those days, Wally.
Dad!
Well, could I have
your permission to use
some of your gardening tools?
Well, Gilbert's getting
some from his dad.
Yeah, I guess so. You'll have
to take care of them, of course.
Oh, uh, and another thing.
You and Gilbert
are going to find
there's a lot of difference
in cutting lawns
for other people
than there is in cutting
them for your parents.
Oh, sure. They've gotta pay you.
They just can't say this goes
toward your room and board.
Oh, good morning, Eddie.
Uh, good morning, Mrs. Cleaver.
I wonder if I might see Wally.
Oh, yes. He's upstairs.
Thank you.
Uh, Mrs. Cleaver, uh, I
don't like to carry tales,
but I did see little Theodore
going down the street,
and I believe he had some of
Mr. Cleaver's gardening tools
hidden in his wagon.
Yes, we know, Eddie.
He and Gilbert have
a job cutting lawns.
Oh, I'm glad to hear it's a
worthwhile project, Mrs. Cleaver.
I know you'd appreciate
me letting you know
if little Theodore was engaged
in some sort of mischief.
Yes, we certainly would
appreciate that, Eddie.
Well, Wally's upstairs.
Thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.
Hi, Eddie.
Hi, Wally.
I hear your creepy brother's
out cutting lawns, huh?
Yeah. Yeah, he and
Gilbert went out this morning
and are trying to
line up some jobs.
Hey, I've got a great idea!
Let's call up Gilbert's house
and pretend we're a guy
that lives way across town,
and say we want our lawn cut.
Well, why would we do that?
Well, look, Sam.
After they get all
the way over there
and ring the doorbell,
the guy might hit
them in the mouth
for being wise
guys or something.
Hey, some of the girls
are having a meeting
over at Mary Ellen's house.
Let's walk by and
give them a break.
♪♪
Hey, Beav, what'd they say?
They've got a boy that does
their lawn all the time for nothing.
Golly, what kind of a goofy
nut goes around doing lawns
for nothing?
He lives there.
Oh.
Yeah, boys. What
can I do for you?
Uh, uh... What do
you want, boys?
- Well?
- It's his turn.
Mister, you don't want us
to cut your lawn, do you?
Well, it sure needs
cutting, Mister.
Yes, sir.
My friend was saying
how it looks sort of crummy.
Well, thanks, but I'll take care
of my own crummy lawn.
Yes, sir. Thank
you very much, sir.
Uh, June, have you seen the wax?
The wax?
Don't tell me my
nagging's paid off.
Oh, uh, have you
been nagging me to wax
the head of my golf woods?
Yes, dear. I've been worried sick
about the heads of your golf woods.
Noble wife.
It's down in the
bottom cupboard.
And don't spill
any on the floor.
It might make it shine.
I'll be extra careful.
I wonder how Beaver
and Gilbert are making out.
You know, I remember
when I was Beaver's age.
One summer, I got my heart set
on a Green Archer
bow and arrow set,
so I got the brilliant idea of,
uh, raising the money for it
by going around the neighborhood
washing windows.
How'd you make out?
Cost my father $16.15.
The first job I had,
I put the stepladder
right through Mrs.
Renton's plate glass window.
You know something, Beav?
What?
I think I'm gonna quit
the lawn-cutting business.
How come?
There's too much walking in it.
Don't you remember what
Miss Landers always says?
If first you don't
succeed, try, try again.
Yeah, but I don't think
she ever went around
trying to mow lawns.
Yeah.
I guess that stuff doesn't
work for lawn cutting.
It can only work
for heroes and stuff.
Yeah.
Well, well. What
have we got here?
The Junior Lawn
Cutters of America.
Hi, Eddie. Hi, Wally.
Hi. Hey, how you guys doing?
Creepy.
Yeah, we asked a
whole mess of people,
but they all said no.
All of them?
Yeah. Some just said
it louder than others.
Look, right-type
boys. What's your MO?
Huh?
How have you been operating?
Oh.
Oh, we just go to
the door, and we say,
"Lady, do you want
your lawn mowed?"
Boy, how stupid can you get?
Okay, wise guy.
How would you do it?
Well, when I was a
kid about their size,
I had a very lucrative deal
going on in the parking lot
at the supermarket.
- Parking lot?
- Yeah.
I'd wait until some big
fancy type car would drive in.
Then while the lady
was in shopping,
I'd dust the car off.
Without asking?
Well, sure.
Then I'd stand there with
a dusting rag in one hand,
and stick the other
hand out for the 50 cents.
And they'd give you the money?
Well, why not?
I rendered a service, didn't I?
Hey, you two, stick
your hands out and say,
"Lady, we just finished
mowing your lawn."
Lady, we just finished
mowing your lawn.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Why, with your hands
sticking out like that
and those two pitiful
pusses, how can you miss?
Come on, don't just stand there.
Come on, move out!
Hubba, hubba, hubba!
Eddie, what'd you
have to go and give 'em
a big deal like that for?
Big deal?
Well, look, Orville.
I just gave those kids the
benefit of my knowledge
in the business world,
and you're knocking it!
Why don't you just pick
on somebody your own size
and give 'em the business?
On account of I need
these teeth for eating.
Come on, let's go on
down to the malt shop.
That's where the action is!
Hey! Hey, watch
it. My vaccination.
Well, Gilbert, I
guess nobody's home.
Yeah.
What's the matter
with you, Gilbert?
I was just practicing
looking pitiful.
Oh. Come on, we've got
to get this stuff unloaded.
Okay, Beav, my half's mowed.
Now it's your turn.
Okay.
How's it look?
Real neat.
Hey, Beav, what'd you do
with all the grass you raked up?
Oh, I spread it around
so you can't see it.
Oh, good idea.
Well, we're all finished.
All we've gotta do now is wait
for somebody to come home
- and hold out our hand.
- Yeah.
Let's go over and sit
down on the porch steps.
Okay.
Boy, am I tired.
Me, too.
But let's not get so tired
we can't hold out our hands.
Okay.
Hey, here comes somebody.
What is this? What's
going on here?
Mister, we just got
through cutting your lawn!
- You what?
- You can pay us
whatever you want to.
Pay you? I ought to sue you!
I have a professional gardener
that takes care of this lawn,
and look what you've done to it!
Now, you get your
equipment and get outta here!
Yeah, Dad.
And then he said,
"You kids beat it
before I call the cops."
Boy, he was really a mean man.
I think I would've reacted
pretty much the same
way if I'd come home
and found two strange
boys cutting my grass.
Well, certainly, Beaver.
You shouldn't have
listened to Eddie.
Boy, Beaver, what a
dumb little kid you are!
Didn't you know Eddie
was giving ya the business?
Yeah, Eddie's such a sneaky guy.
I never know when he's
giving me the business
and when he's not
giving me the business.
Well, just figure he's
always giving you
the business, then
you'll come out ahead.
Yeah. Well, anyway,
I'm through with the
lawn-cutting business.
Why, Beaver, I thought
you were anxious
to earn some money.
Well, now, Beaver, I
don't think you should
give up so easily on this job.
Well, sure, Beav.
You don't want
to chicken out now
just 'cause Eddie got
you off to a bad start.
Dad, do you think I
ought to try again?
Well, of course I do.
If I were you and Gilbert,
I'd go out first thing tomorrow
and line up a real
job cutting lawns.
Only, uh, this time,
make your deal
before you cut
the lawn, not after.
Yeah.
Yeah, Dad's just using child
psychology on you, Beav.
It's like this
movie I saw on TV,
where this Army pilot cracked
up his plane on his first flight,
and he wanted to quit flying.
Yeah. Then his squadron
leader sent him right out again
on another flight.
Yeah, yeah, that's
what happened.
And he overcame his fear.
No, he never got the
plane off the ground.
He ran it smack into the hangar,
but they gave
him a neat funeral.
They had the band
going and everything.
Pass the bread, please.
Hi, Mom.
Going out, Wally?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm going
over and pick up Eddie,
and then we're going over
to Mary Ellen Rogers' house.
Some of the girls are having
a meeting over there today.
Oh, I thought that
meeting was yesterday.
Nah, Eddie got it mixed up.
We walked up and down
the front of her house
three or four times
before her father came out
and said nobody was home.
Well, have a good time, Wally.
Behave yourself.
Oh, sure, Mom.
I'm going to be with Eddie.
Did you see your brother?
Yeah. Yeah, he went
over to Grant Avenue
to see if he could line up some
jobs cutting lawns over there.
Oh. Was Gilbert with him?
No. He thought he'd
line up the jobs first,
and then go get Gilbert.
You know, Mom,
he's really not quitting.
Well, persistence
pays off, Wally.
You remember the story about
Robert Bruce and the spider?
Yeah, but, you know, I
never really dug it too much.
How come, if this guy
was such a big shot king,
he was living in that crummy
house full of spider webs?
I'll see ya, Mom.
See you, Wally.
Oh, hello, young man.
Well, uh, I was just wondering,
would you like to
have your lawn cut?
Would ya, huh?
Well, as a matter of fact,
my husband's been away
for quite a while
on a business trip.
It could stand a little cutting.
But, uh, could a little
boy like you do the job?
Oh, I'm not as little as I look.
And I've got a partner, Gilbert,
and he's almost the second
biggest guy in our whole class!
Well, all right.
How much do you charge?
Uh, well, I don't know.
I haven't had any
lawn-cutting jobs before.
Well, why don't you go ahead
and cut it, and then we'll see
how you did, and, and
then we'll talk about the price.
No, I think we'd
better decide now.
I tried that once before,
and I wouldn't want to get
clobbered again.
All right. Suppose we
say, um, $5 for the front
and the back lawn.
Would that suit you?
Oh, yes! That'd suit me fine!
Uh, and I'll go get my partner,
and we'll do a real neat job!
Didn't I hear you talking
to Beaver out there?
Yeah. Oh, he's got
a job cutting a lawn.
He's all excited.
He's on his way now
over to get Gilbert.
Well, I hope it isn't
too much for him
and he doesn't come
home exhausted.
Oh, June. When I
was Beaver's age,
I didn't know the
meaning of exhaustion!
Well, my brother and I used
to get up at 5:00 in the morning.
We really worked.
Huh, you have no idea
what it was like in those days.
Oh, yes I have, dear.
I read all about it in
those Horatio Alger books.
Thanks, dear.
Say, uh, where's Wally?
I haven't seen him around.
Oh, he and Eddie Haskell
went over to walk by
Mary Ellen Rogers' house.
Well, I thought they
did that yesterday.
Well, they did, but
her father came out
and told them no one was home.
Honey, what was a
king like Robert Bruce
doing in a house
full of spider webs?
Why, why, he was hiding.
You know, it'd take
a woman to think
of a thing like that.
Yes, dear.
No, Beav. I don't think so.
But, gee, Gilbert.
The deal's all set.
The lady's gonna pay
us $5 and everything!
I don't want to be in the
lawn-cutting business anymore.
How come?
Well, I'd rather stay at
home and get pushed around.
Why should I go out and
have strange people yell at me?
But the deal's all set!
Nobody's gonna yell at ya!
Big people always find
a reason to yell at ya.
After the job is over, the lady'll
have her husband come out
and yell at us about
what a bum job we did.
No, sir.
Well, her husband's away,
and she's a real neat lady.
Gee, Gilbert, I thought you
wanted to earn a lot of money.
Yeah, but I think I'm
gonna get a paper route.
I had a paper route once.
It's real hard going around
every night delivering papers.
Yeah, but if you whine enough,
you get your father to
deliver them in his car.
I'll see ya, Beav.
I'll see ya, Gilbert.
Dear, dear, maybe
you ought to get
in the car and go and
see if you can find Beaver.
Supper will be ready
in a half an hour.
Oh, let's give him a
few more minutes, dear.
After all, this is
his first real job.
Having his father show up
would kind of spoil it for him.
Well, all right.
I just hope he doesn't come
home tired and exhausted.
Hey, Mom.
Beaver just went into the garage
with the gardening junk.
Is he all right?
Well, he's not
dying or anything.
He was running
as fast as he could.
Hey, Dad. You want me to go out
and check and see if he wrecked
any of your tools?
Uh, no thanks, Wally.
I'll do my own spy work tomorrow
when Beaver's not around.
Hey, Mom! Hey, Dad!
I cut the lady's lawn for her,
and she gave me a check for $5!
Look, it's got my name
on it and everything!
Well, Beaver, isn't
that wonderful?
Congratulations, son.
Well, thanks, Dad.
She was a real neat lady, Wally.
Well, she gave me
lemonade and everything
and didn't yell at me once.
Beaver, you're all flushed.
Well, I'm not flushed
on the inside, Mom.
I'm just flushed on the outside.
He means he's sunburned, Mom.
Beaver, I guess
this kind of restores
your faith in grownups, huh?
It sure does, Dad.
She was the nicest lady I
ever met in the whole world,
next to Mom.
Beav, what are you
gonna do with your money?
Blow it on ice cream and junk?
Gee, I don't know.
I was so busy earning
it, I didn't think about
where to spend it.
Why don't you
start a bank account
with the check, Beaver?
No, I don't think so, Dad.
I wouldn't want to waste my
money on anything like that.
Well, I thought
maybe I could get
a whole lot of
dimes and nickels,
and put them in my pocket,
and walk around like a big shot.
Look, Beaver!
Today, big shots carry
checks and credit cards!
Huh?
Well, sure.
Sure. If you carry around
a bunch of cash today,
that's just a sign
that you're poor.
I tell you what, Beaver.
I'll pick you up at
school tomorrow,
and you can cash the check,
and then you can decide
what you want to do with it.
That'd be neat, Mom.
I'd like to see
$5.00 in one hunk
before I made up my mind.
"Pay to the Order of
Theodore Cleaver."
Doesn't that look neat, Dad?
Boy, it sure is, Beaver.
"Pay to the Order of
Theodore Cleaver."
Hi, dear.
Oh, hi.
Hey, did you see the headlines?
I don't even want
to look at them.
They can't top the headlines
we've got right around here.
Well, what now?
Well, we took the
check down to the bank
today after school,
and it's no good.
No good?
She didn't even have
enough money in her account
to cover a $5.00 check.
Aw.
How did Beaver react?
Well, I, I think if it hadn't
have been such a big bank,
he'd have cried.
Well, that's one of the hazards
of going out in the world.
You find out what
people are really like.
Is he upstairs?
Uh-huh.
I know guys cheat,
Wally, but I never thought
a nice-looking lady like that
would go around gypping kids.
Well, I guess if
you're nice-looking,
it's easier for you
to get away with it.
The only grownups
I'm ever gonna trust,
as long as I live,
are Mom and Dad.
Hello, fellas.
Oh, hi, Dad.
Hi, Dad.
Well, Beaver, I heard about
you getting the check back.
Yeah. Isn't it a crummy deal?
Yeah, Beav. It would
appear to be a crummy deal.
What are you gonna
do about it, Dad?
Well, since it's your
check, uh, I'll ask you.
What do you think we
ought to do about it?
I think we should call the cops,
and tell them to send
over their four squad cars
with machine guns and teargas,
and have them yell
over the loudspeaker,
"Come out of there, lady,
before we come in and get ya!"
Now, Beaver!
And then if she
doesn't come out...
That'll teach her to go
around gypping little kids!
Boy, he's really flipped, Dad.
He said he's not gonna
trust anyone again
as long as he lives.
Well, Beaver, in life,
you have to trust people!
Well, I trusted Eddie,
and I got clobbered.
Then I trusted the lady,
and she gave me
an insufficient check.
Well, you know, Beaver,
there's another thing.
You have to trust
your own judgment.
What do you mean, Dad?
Well, you said she
was a real neat lady.
I think you have to give
her a chance to prove
that you were right.
How can you be right
if you go around giving
somebody a no-good check?
Well, it could have
been a mistake.
Maybe a deposit
didn't clear in time.
I tell you what, Beaver.
Why don't you let me call
her and tell her what happened,
and give her another chance.
Yeah.
Well, okay, Dad.
But do it like you do with us.
Yell at her real hard before
you give her a second chance.
You just leave it to me, Beaver.
You think it was
a mistake, Wally?
Well, sure.
And anyway, if she didn't,
you can always
sic the cops on her.
Hey, Wally. In this book,
they've got a picture of a guy
that's gonna fly through space.
Oh, yeah.
Mr. Farnsworth said
that he might sign up.
Your science teacher?
Yeah.
Yeah, he says
that with our class,
we have him in orbit
most of the time anyway.
Hi, boys.
Hi, Dad. Hi, Dad.
Well, Beaver, here
you are, your $5.
Gee, Dad.
Where'd you get it?
Well, your neat lady just
made a mistake, Beaver.
She wrote your
check on the old bank
where she had an account.
She was terribly sorry
and very apologetic,
and she insisted on
bringing the cash by.
Golly, this is neat.
I'm sure glad you
didn't call the cops, Dad.
How do you feel
about grownups now?
Kind of better.
For a while
there, I didn't think
I ever wanted to grow
up to be a grownup.
Wally, what are you doing?
Well, gee, Dad. It
never hurts to make sure.
and...
Oh, hi.
Beaver wants to see
you. He's upstairs.
Yeah, I want to see him,
too. This is his jacket, isn't it?
Yes, that's Beaver's jacket. I
recognize some of the spots.
Where'd you find it?
Draped on one of the
camellia bushes out front.
Frankly, a cotton jacket
doesn't do a thing
for a camellia bush.
I suppose he took it
off while he was playing.
Yeah, I suppose.
And when I say, "Uh, Beaver,
why did you hang your
jacket on the camellia bush?"
he'll say, uh, "Well,
because you keep
yelling at me not to throw
my stuff on the ground."
I supposed he has
us on a technicality.
Well, what does he
want to see me about?
Oh, he didn't say, honey.
He just said it was important.
Hmm. I wonder if he got
in trouble at school today.
Oh, I asked him that.
And he said all they
did in school today
was clean out their
desks and goof around.
You think he'll say yes, Wally,
or do you think he'll say no?
He might say yes,
or he might say no,
but you'll never
know 'til you ask him.
Yeah, but do you think
it's more like he might say yes,
or it's more like
he might say no?
Quit bothering me, will ya?
You think I'm
psychic or something?
No, I don't think you're
psychic or something.
I just think you're
a crummy brother.
Ah! Ahhhh!
Ahhhh!
Ahhhhh!
Oh, hi, Dad.
Hello, fellas. Hi, Dad.
Beaver, I found this
hanging on a bush.
Yes, sir. You get mad
when I put it on the ground.
I also get mad when
you hang it on a bush,
and the pocket was full of dirt.
Oh, yes, sir.
I was saving mud
to throw at a guy,
but it turned into dirt
before I met up with him.
Oh. Well, uh, your
mother tells me
you wanted to talk to me.
Uh, yes, sir.
Uh, uh, did you have a
nice day at the office today?
Yes, a very nice day.
For Christ's sakes,
Beaver. Ask him!
Uh, well, could I have
your permission to get a job?
A job? What kind of a job?
He wants to cut lawns
on the weekends, Dad.
Oh, is that what you
want to do, Beaver,
cut lawns?
Uh, yes, sir. Well,
me and Gilbert,
we want to go in the
lawn-cutting business together.
We'll make a lot of money,
so we can be big
shots this summer.
Oh, well, I guess
that'd be all right.
Gee, thanks, Dad.
You know, Beaver, I
was just about your age
when I did this same thing.
Gee, Dad. I don't
know how you had time
to do all the stuff you
did when you were a kid.
Kids stayed kids a lot
longer in those days, Wally.
Dad!
Well, could I have
your permission to use
some of your gardening tools?
Well, Gilbert's getting
some from his dad.
Yeah, I guess so. You'll have
to take care of them, of course.
Oh, uh, and another thing.
You and Gilbert
are going to find
there's a lot of difference
in cutting lawns
for other people
than there is in cutting
them for your parents.
Oh, sure. They've gotta pay you.
They just can't say this goes
toward your room and board.
Oh, good morning, Eddie.
Uh, good morning, Mrs. Cleaver.
I wonder if I might see Wally.
Oh, yes. He's upstairs.
Thank you.
Uh, Mrs. Cleaver, uh, I
don't like to carry tales,
but I did see little Theodore
going down the street,
and I believe he had some of
Mr. Cleaver's gardening tools
hidden in his wagon.
Yes, we know, Eddie.
He and Gilbert have
a job cutting lawns.
Oh, I'm glad to hear it's a
worthwhile project, Mrs. Cleaver.
I know you'd appreciate
me letting you know
if little Theodore was engaged
in some sort of mischief.
Yes, we certainly would
appreciate that, Eddie.
Well, Wally's upstairs.
Thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.
Hi, Eddie.
Hi, Wally.
I hear your creepy brother's
out cutting lawns, huh?
Yeah. Yeah, he and
Gilbert went out this morning
and are trying to
line up some jobs.
Hey, I've got a great idea!
Let's call up Gilbert's house
and pretend we're a guy
that lives way across town,
and say we want our lawn cut.
Well, why would we do that?
Well, look, Sam.
After they get all
the way over there
and ring the doorbell,
the guy might hit
them in the mouth
for being wise
guys or something.
Hey, some of the girls
are having a meeting
over at Mary Ellen's house.
Let's walk by and
give them a break.
♪♪
Hey, Beav, what'd they say?
They've got a boy that does
their lawn all the time for nothing.
Golly, what kind of a goofy
nut goes around doing lawns
for nothing?
He lives there.
Oh.
Yeah, boys. What
can I do for you?
Uh, uh... What do
you want, boys?
- Well?
- It's his turn.
Mister, you don't want us
to cut your lawn, do you?
Well, it sure needs
cutting, Mister.
Yes, sir.
My friend was saying
how it looks sort of crummy.
Well, thanks, but I'll take care
of my own crummy lawn.
Yes, sir. Thank
you very much, sir.
Uh, June, have you seen the wax?
The wax?
Don't tell me my
nagging's paid off.
Oh, uh, have you
been nagging me to wax
the head of my golf woods?
Yes, dear. I've been worried sick
about the heads of your golf woods.
Noble wife.
It's down in the
bottom cupboard.
And don't spill
any on the floor.
It might make it shine.
I'll be extra careful.
I wonder how Beaver
and Gilbert are making out.
You know, I remember
when I was Beaver's age.
One summer, I got my heart set
on a Green Archer
bow and arrow set,
so I got the brilliant idea of,
uh, raising the money for it
by going around the neighborhood
washing windows.
How'd you make out?
Cost my father $16.15.
The first job I had,
I put the stepladder
right through Mrs.
Renton's plate glass window.
You know something, Beav?
What?
I think I'm gonna quit
the lawn-cutting business.
How come?
There's too much walking in it.
Don't you remember what
Miss Landers always says?
If first you don't
succeed, try, try again.
Yeah, but I don't think
she ever went around
trying to mow lawns.
Yeah.
I guess that stuff doesn't
work for lawn cutting.
It can only work
for heroes and stuff.
Yeah.
Well, well. What
have we got here?
The Junior Lawn
Cutters of America.
Hi, Eddie. Hi, Wally.
Hi. Hey, how you guys doing?
Creepy.
Yeah, we asked a
whole mess of people,
but they all said no.
All of them?
Yeah. Some just said
it louder than others.
Look, right-type
boys. What's your MO?
Huh?
How have you been operating?
Oh.
Oh, we just go to
the door, and we say,
"Lady, do you want
your lawn mowed?"
Boy, how stupid can you get?
Okay, wise guy.
How would you do it?
Well, when I was a
kid about their size,
I had a very lucrative deal
going on in the parking lot
at the supermarket.
- Parking lot?
- Yeah.
I'd wait until some big
fancy type car would drive in.
Then while the lady
was in shopping,
I'd dust the car off.
Without asking?
Well, sure.
Then I'd stand there with
a dusting rag in one hand,
and stick the other
hand out for the 50 cents.
And they'd give you the money?
Well, why not?
I rendered a service, didn't I?
Hey, you two, stick
your hands out and say,
"Lady, we just finished
mowing your lawn."
Lady, we just finished
mowing your lawn.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Why, with your hands
sticking out like that
and those two pitiful
pusses, how can you miss?
Come on, don't just stand there.
Come on, move out!
Hubba, hubba, hubba!
Eddie, what'd you
have to go and give 'em
a big deal like that for?
Big deal?
Well, look, Orville.
I just gave those kids the
benefit of my knowledge
in the business world,
and you're knocking it!
Why don't you just pick
on somebody your own size
and give 'em the business?
On account of I need
these teeth for eating.
Come on, let's go on
down to the malt shop.
That's where the action is!
Hey! Hey, watch
it. My vaccination.
Well, Gilbert, I
guess nobody's home.
Yeah.
What's the matter
with you, Gilbert?
I was just practicing
looking pitiful.
Oh. Come on, we've got
to get this stuff unloaded.
Okay, Beav, my half's mowed.
Now it's your turn.
Okay.
How's it look?
Real neat.
Hey, Beav, what'd you do
with all the grass you raked up?
Oh, I spread it around
so you can't see it.
Oh, good idea.
Well, we're all finished.
All we've gotta do now is wait
for somebody to come home
- and hold out our hand.
- Yeah.
Let's go over and sit
down on the porch steps.
Okay.
Boy, am I tired.
Me, too.
But let's not get so tired
we can't hold out our hands.
Okay.
Hey, here comes somebody.
What is this? What's
going on here?
Mister, we just got
through cutting your lawn!
- You what?
- You can pay us
whatever you want to.
Pay you? I ought to sue you!
I have a professional gardener
that takes care of this lawn,
and look what you've done to it!
Now, you get your
equipment and get outta here!
Yeah, Dad.
And then he said,
"You kids beat it
before I call the cops."
Boy, he was really a mean man.
I think I would've reacted
pretty much the same
way if I'd come home
and found two strange
boys cutting my grass.
Well, certainly, Beaver.
You shouldn't have
listened to Eddie.
Boy, Beaver, what a
dumb little kid you are!
Didn't you know Eddie
was giving ya the business?
Yeah, Eddie's such a sneaky guy.
I never know when he's
giving me the business
and when he's not
giving me the business.
Well, just figure he's
always giving you
the business, then
you'll come out ahead.
Yeah. Well, anyway,
I'm through with the
lawn-cutting business.
Why, Beaver, I thought
you were anxious
to earn some money.
Well, now, Beaver, I
don't think you should
give up so easily on this job.
Well, sure, Beav.
You don't want
to chicken out now
just 'cause Eddie got
you off to a bad start.
Dad, do you think I
ought to try again?
Well, of course I do.
If I were you and Gilbert,
I'd go out first thing tomorrow
and line up a real
job cutting lawns.
Only, uh, this time,
make your deal
before you cut
the lawn, not after.
Yeah.
Yeah, Dad's just using child
psychology on you, Beav.
It's like this
movie I saw on TV,
where this Army pilot cracked
up his plane on his first flight,
and he wanted to quit flying.
Yeah. Then his squadron
leader sent him right out again
on another flight.
Yeah, yeah, that's
what happened.
And he overcame his fear.
No, he never got the
plane off the ground.
He ran it smack into the hangar,
but they gave
him a neat funeral.
They had the band
going and everything.
Pass the bread, please.
Hi, Mom.
Going out, Wally?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm going
over and pick up Eddie,
and then we're going over
to Mary Ellen Rogers' house.
Some of the girls are having
a meeting over there today.
Oh, I thought that
meeting was yesterday.
Nah, Eddie got it mixed up.
We walked up and down
the front of her house
three or four times
before her father came out
and said nobody was home.
Well, have a good time, Wally.
Behave yourself.
Oh, sure, Mom.
I'm going to be with Eddie.
Did you see your brother?
Yeah. Yeah, he went
over to Grant Avenue
to see if he could line up some
jobs cutting lawns over there.
Oh. Was Gilbert with him?
No. He thought he'd
line up the jobs first,
and then go get Gilbert.
You know, Mom,
he's really not quitting.
Well, persistence
pays off, Wally.
You remember the story about
Robert Bruce and the spider?
Yeah, but, you know, I
never really dug it too much.
How come, if this guy
was such a big shot king,
he was living in that crummy
house full of spider webs?
I'll see ya, Mom.
See you, Wally.
Oh, hello, young man.
Well, uh, I was just wondering,
would you like to
have your lawn cut?
Would ya, huh?
Well, as a matter of fact,
my husband's been away
for quite a while
on a business trip.
It could stand a little cutting.
But, uh, could a little
boy like you do the job?
Oh, I'm not as little as I look.
And I've got a partner, Gilbert,
and he's almost the second
biggest guy in our whole class!
Well, all right.
How much do you charge?
Uh, well, I don't know.
I haven't had any
lawn-cutting jobs before.
Well, why don't you go ahead
and cut it, and then we'll see
how you did, and, and
then we'll talk about the price.
No, I think we'd
better decide now.
I tried that once before,
and I wouldn't want to get
clobbered again.
All right. Suppose we
say, um, $5 for the front
and the back lawn.
Would that suit you?
Oh, yes! That'd suit me fine!
Uh, and I'll go get my partner,
and we'll do a real neat job!
Didn't I hear you talking
to Beaver out there?
Yeah. Oh, he's got
a job cutting a lawn.
He's all excited.
He's on his way now
over to get Gilbert.
Well, I hope it isn't
too much for him
and he doesn't come
home exhausted.
Oh, June. When I
was Beaver's age,
I didn't know the
meaning of exhaustion!
Well, my brother and I used
to get up at 5:00 in the morning.
We really worked.
Huh, you have no idea
what it was like in those days.
Oh, yes I have, dear.
I read all about it in
those Horatio Alger books.
Thanks, dear.
Say, uh, where's Wally?
I haven't seen him around.
Oh, he and Eddie Haskell
went over to walk by
Mary Ellen Rogers' house.
Well, I thought they
did that yesterday.
Well, they did, but
her father came out
and told them no one was home.
Honey, what was a
king like Robert Bruce
doing in a house
full of spider webs?
Why, why, he was hiding.
You know, it'd take
a woman to think
of a thing like that.
Yes, dear.
No, Beav. I don't think so.
But, gee, Gilbert.
The deal's all set.
The lady's gonna pay
us $5 and everything!
I don't want to be in the
lawn-cutting business anymore.
How come?
Well, I'd rather stay at
home and get pushed around.
Why should I go out and
have strange people yell at me?
But the deal's all set!
Nobody's gonna yell at ya!
Big people always find
a reason to yell at ya.
After the job is over, the lady'll
have her husband come out
and yell at us about
what a bum job we did.
No, sir.
Well, her husband's away,
and she's a real neat lady.
Gee, Gilbert, I thought you
wanted to earn a lot of money.
Yeah, but I think I'm
gonna get a paper route.
I had a paper route once.
It's real hard going around
every night delivering papers.
Yeah, but if you whine enough,
you get your father to
deliver them in his car.
I'll see ya, Beav.
I'll see ya, Gilbert.
Dear, dear, maybe
you ought to get
in the car and go and
see if you can find Beaver.
Supper will be ready
in a half an hour.
Oh, let's give him a
few more minutes, dear.
After all, this is
his first real job.
Having his father show up
would kind of spoil it for him.
Well, all right.
I just hope he doesn't come
home tired and exhausted.
Hey, Mom.
Beaver just went into the garage
with the gardening junk.
Is he all right?
Well, he's not
dying or anything.
He was running
as fast as he could.
Hey, Dad. You want me to go out
and check and see if he wrecked
any of your tools?
Uh, no thanks, Wally.
I'll do my own spy work tomorrow
when Beaver's not around.
Hey, Mom! Hey, Dad!
I cut the lady's lawn for her,
and she gave me a check for $5!
Look, it's got my name
on it and everything!
Well, Beaver, isn't
that wonderful?
Congratulations, son.
Well, thanks, Dad.
She was a real neat lady, Wally.
Well, she gave me
lemonade and everything
and didn't yell at me once.
Beaver, you're all flushed.
Well, I'm not flushed
on the inside, Mom.
I'm just flushed on the outside.
He means he's sunburned, Mom.
Beaver, I guess
this kind of restores
your faith in grownups, huh?
It sure does, Dad.
She was the nicest lady I
ever met in the whole world,
next to Mom.
Beav, what are you
gonna do with your money?
Blow it on ice cream and junk?
Gee, I don't know.
I was so busy earning
it, I didn't think about
where to spend it.
Why don't you
start a bank account
with the check, Beaver?
No, I don't think so, Dad.
I wouldn't want to waste my
money on anything like that.
Well, I thought
maybe I could get
a whole lot of
dimes and nickels,
and put them in my pocket,
and walk around like a big shot.
Look, Beaver!
Today, big shots carry
checks and credit cards!
Huh?
Well, sure.
Sure. If you carry around
a bunch of cash today,
that's just a sign
that you're poor.
I tell you what, Beaver.
I'll pick you up at
school tomorrow,
and you can cash the check,
and then you can decide
what you want to do with it.
That'd be neat, Mom.
I'd like to see
$5.00 in one hunk
before I made up my mind.
"Pay to the Order of
Theodore Cleaver."
Doesn't that look neat, Dad?
Boy, it sure is, Beaver.
"Pay to the Order of
Theodore Cleaver."
Hi, dear.
Oh, hi.
Hey, did you see the headlines?
I don't even want
to look at them.
They can't top the headlines
we've got right around here.
Well, what now?
Well, we took the
check down to the bank
today after school,
and it's no good.
No good?
She didn't even have
enough money in her account
to cover a $5.00 check.
Aw.
How did Beaver react?
Well, I, I think if it hadn't
have been such a big bank,
he'd have cried.
Well, that's one of the hazards
of going out in the world.
You find out what
people are really like.
Is he upstairs?
Uh-huh.
I know guys cheat,
Wally, but I never thought
a nice-looking lady like that
would go around gypping kids.
Well, I guess if
you're nice-looking,
it's easier for you
to get away with it.
The only grownups
I'm ever gonna trust,
as long as I live,
are Mom and Dad.
Hello, fellas.
Oh, hi, Dad.
Hi, Dad.
Well, Beaver, I heard about
you getting the check back.
Yeah. Isn't it a crummy deal?
Yeah, Beav. It would
appear to be a crummy deal.
What are you gonna
do about it, Dad?
Well, since it's your
check, uh, I'll ask you.
What do you think we
ought to do about it?
I think we should call the cops,
and tell them to send
over their four squad cars
with machine guns and teargas,
and have them yell
over the loudspeaker,
"Come out of there, lady,
before we come in and get ya!"
Now, Beaver!
And then if she
doesn't come out...
That'll teach her to go
around gypping little kids!
Boy, he's really flipped, Dad.
He said he's not gonna
trust anyone again
as long as he lives.
Well, Beaver, in life,
you have to trust people!
Well, I trusted Eddie,
and I got clobbered.
Then I trusted the lady,
and she gave me
an insufficient check.
Well, you know, Beaver,
there's another thing.
You have to trust
your own judgment.
What do you mean, Dad?
Well, you said she
was a real neat lady.
I think you have to give
her a chance to prove
that you were right.
How can you be right
if you go around giving
somebody a no-good check?
Well, it could have
been a mistake.
Maybe a deposit
didn't clear in time.
I tell you what, Beaver.
Why don't you let me call
her and tell her what happened,
and give her another chance.
Yeah.
Well, okay, Dad.
But do it like you do with us.
Yell at her real hard before
you give her a second chance.
You just leave it to me, Beaver.
You think it was
a mistake, Wally?
Well, sure.
And anyway, if she didn't,
you can always
sic the cops on her.
Hey, Wally. In this book,
they've got a picture of a guy
that's gonna fly through space.
Oh, yeah.
Mr. Farnsworth said
that he might sign up.
Your science teacher?
Yeah.
Yeah, he says
that with our class,
we have him in orbit
most of the time anyway.
Hi, boys.
Hi, Dad. Hi, Dad.
Well, Beaver, here
you are, your $5.
Gee, Dad.
Where'd you get it?
Well, your neat lady just
made a mistake, Beaver.
She wrote your
check on the old bank
where she had an account.
She was terribly sorry
and very apologetic,
and she insisted on
bringing the cash by.
Golly, this is neat.
I'm sure glad you
didn't call the cops, Dad.
How do you feel
about grownups now?
Kind of better.
For a while
there, I didn't think
I ever wanted to grow
up to be a grownup.
Wally, what are you doing?
Well, gee, Dad. It
never hurts to make sure.