Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 35 - Beaver's Frogs - full transcript
Beaver makes a deal with his father to pay half the $25 cost of buying a used canoe. Ward believes that by the time Beaver can raise his half, he will have forgotten all about the canoe. As getting a traditional job is harder than Beaver expects, he is happy to learn from his friend Richard that he can make money by selling frogs for twenty-five cents apiece. With Wally's help, Beaver manages to catch enough frogs to cover his half of the canoe. In the process, Beaver, who is becoming attached to the frogs, much like pets, doesn't even consider what will be happening to them after he sells them. He eventually learns from Richard that the frogs will be killed and sold to schools for dissection. Beaver has to decide what is more important: the canoe or the lives of his frogs.
Starring...
and...
Well, hi there, Beaver.
Hi, Dad. Well, you're
kind of a little late
in getting home
tonight, aren't you?
Yeah, kind of a little.
Why? Were you waiting for me?
Oh, no, sir.
Well, I was just sitting
here on the stairs.
Oh.
Dad?
Yeah. Do you want something?
Do you know how much
a new canoe would cost?
Oh, no.
It's been a long time since
I owned a canoe, Beaver.
Well, I looked into it,
and I found out they cost $200.
Yeah, that sounds like it'd
be about the going price.
Well, then if a guy
could get one for 25,
it'd be a real
bargain, wouldn't it?
Yeah, if a guy could
get one for that,
that'd be a good bargain.
Well, it isn't exactly
a new, new one.
Well, it's sort of a,
well, a new used one.
Oh, I see.
Well, in that case, the
bargain would depend
on just how used the
new used canoe was.
Well, it belongs to
Mr. Peterson down at the lake.
Well, it's a real safe canoe,
'cause he's rented
it out for three years,
and nobody's ever
drowned in it yet.
Oh.
Well, then you're the one who's
interested in buying the canoe, huh?
Well, well, yes sir, sort of.
Well, and if I had a canoe,
I could go fishing
in it and play Indians.
And you always told me how
much fun you had with a canoe
when you were a kid.
Couldn't I buy it, huh, Dad?
Well, Beaver, I
know Mr. Peterson
wouldn't sell you
anything that wasn't right,
and I think you're
probably old enough now.
But where'd you
expect to get the $25?
Well, I thought maybe you'd
have an idea about that, too.
Beaver, every time
you want something,
do you expect me to
just hand over the money?
Oh, gee. No, sir.
I got over expecting that,
well, about three years ago.
I figured maybe you
and me could figure out,
some way I could earn it.
Oh, all right.
Fine.
Tell you what, I'll, uh,
I'll make a deal with you.
You earn half the money,
and I'll give you
the other half.
Gee, Dad. That'd be neat.
And I'll see
Mr. Peterson tomorrow
and tell him not
to sell the canoe
to any other little creeps.
Okay.
- Hi, dear.
- Hi.
Well, Beaver, what's
this about a canoe?
Well, me and Dad
just made a deal.
Hey, Mom, you look different.
Oh, it must be my hair.
I had it done a
little differently.
You like it?
Yeah, it makes you look older.
Thank you.
Well, that beauty
parlor just lost me.
Honey, what's
this about a canoe?
Oh, uh, Mr. Peterson,
up at the lake,
has a used one he
wants to sell for $25.
I told Beaver if he'd
earn half the money,
I'd give him the other half.
But, honey, do you think
Beaver's old enough for a canoe?
I don't think we
need to worry about it.
By the time he earns
twelve dollars and a half,
he'll probably be so old,
he won't want a canoe.
I hope you're right.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, Beaver, what are you doing?
I'm just looking at
the want ads for a job.
Finding anything
there you could do?
No. Most of them say
you've got to be a
college graduate.
How come they say that, Wally?
Listen, if they didn't ask
for college graduates,
parents couldn't make
their kids go to college.
That's the way it works, huh?
Hey, here's one, Wally!
"Handyman wanted,
afternoons only, $5 a day."
Beaver, that's
situations wanted.
Isn't a situation a job?
Yeah, but, but this guy
wants a guy to hire him.
You've gotta find a guy
that wants to hire a guy.
Boy, no wonder so many
people are out of work.
They probably can't
understand these goofy ads!
Well, just stay over there
in the "Help Wanted."
I tried that before,
but all they say is
"Men Wanted," "Women
Wanted," and "Couples Wanted."
They don't have
any "Kids Wanted."
That's mostly on account
of the child labor laws.
Child labor laws? What's that?
Well, that's, that's
a law they've got
to keep kids from working.
I had it in civics.
In the olden days, they used to
have kids sweeping chimneys and,
and working in factories,
and working underground
in mines and stuff.
Gee, how come they
stopped all that neat stuff?
I don't know. I guess they
were losing too many kids.
Oh.
Beav, the way you
should get a job is,
is you should go
around to places like, uh,
like the drugstore and
the market and ask them.
Think I ought to, huh?
Well, sure.
Some guys might
tell you to get lost or,
or chase you away with a broom,
but it's good training for life.
But I don't want
training for life.
All's I want is a canoe!
Oh, hi, Mom.
Hello, Wally.
You seen your brother?
Well, the last I saw him,
he was down at
Martin's Soda Fountain.
He'd already had two sodas
and hadn't got up enough
nerve to ask for a job.
Oh, Wally. Why didn't
you ask Mr. Martin for him?
Gee, Mom. I didn't
want to feel like a creep
in front of the guys,
helping my brother.
Oh, Wally.
I called the florist for you.
Hm?
Well, if you're going to
take Mary Ellen Rogers
to the dance on Saturday night,
you'll want to
give her a corsage.
Gee, Mom. I forgot all about it.
How come you thought of it?
Well, I guess I
remember how badly I felt
when I went to a party once,
and I didn't have a corsage.
Well, didn't Dad give you one?
Oh, that was before
I met your father.
You mean, you dated
other fellas besides Dad?
A few, dear.
Well, gee. Does
he know about it?
Oh, yes.
Boy, oh, boy.
Wally, are you so
surprised that I had dates?
Well, it's kind of hard for
a guy to picture his mother
as hanging around in the
drugstore with guys and...
And acting silly and all that.
I guess it is kind
of hard to imagine
your parents were ever human.
Hey, Beaver.
Hi, Richard.
Hi, Beav.
Hey, what were
you doing in there?
Looking for a job.
Selling ladies' nightgowns?
Of course not.
Well, I was gonna ask them,
well, if they needed
a boy, you know,
to sweep out and clean the
windows, and stuff like that.
But when I got in there
and saw all that creepy
underwear looking at me,
I sort of chickened out.
Hey, Beav, but if you get a
real job like that in a shop,
well, you've gotta
have a work permit,
and then a Social Security
number and all that stuff.
What's a Social Security number?
Oh, that's when you
get too old to work,
the government pays
you for doing nothing.
Gee, how old do you have to be?
Real old, about
30 or 35, I guess.
Gee, if I ever got that old, I'd
feel funny paddling a canoe.
Hey, Beaver!
You gonna get a canoe?
Well, I might.
Mr. Peterson down at the lake
was gonna sell them for $25,
and my dad said if I
earned half the money,
he'd pay the other half.
Hey, Beav.
If, if I tell you a
way to make money,
will you take me
out in your canoe?
Sure. How?
Selling frogs.
Frogs?
Well, yeah. I know a guy
that will buy them
for 25 cents apiece.
Well, where do you catch them?
Well, you know Miller's Pond,
where the cattails
are sticking up,
and the water smells bad?
Yeah, that's a neat place.
There's over a hundred
million of them there.
There is?
Boy, 25 cents apiece.
Gee, thanks, Richard.
You could have a
couple of hundred rides
in the canoe for this.
25 cents apiece.
Well, the boys gone?
Honey, they came down early,
got their own
breakfasts, and left.
Beaver left this.
"Gone to Miller's
Pond with Wally.
We'll be back for lunch.
Your son, Theodore Cleaver."
Honey, why do you suppose
they'd go there and so early?
Well, probably looking for
a place to moor that canoe.
You didn't weaken and give
him the money, did you, Ward?
Oh, no. But you
know how Beaver is.
He's absolutely sure
he's gonna make it.
If he doesn't find a job,
I suppose you'll make one
up for him around the house.
No, I think that'd
spoil it for him.
He wants to do this on his own.
And anyway, he's at the age now
where he recognizes
a made-up job.
Got him!
Boy, he's a beauty.
How many's that, Beav?
$5.75 worth.
You know, Beaver,
this is kids' stuff.
Then how come you came
with me, if it's kids' stuff?
Aw, I don't know.
But if you fell in the pond
and drowned or something,
they'd find some
way to blame me.
Ah.
Hey, there's one!
Yeah.
Wow!
He's a giant!
He's a bullfrog.
How can you tell?
Well, because bullfrogs
have a croak like a man,
and cow frogs have
a croak like a girl.
He's a bullfrog all right.
Does it make any difference
to the guy who's buying them?
No, but I guess it
does to the frogs.
Yeah, I'd sure hate to be
a frog and be a cow frog.
Well, that's about, I'd
say, six dollars worth.
Hey, there's one.
I don't know.
He's pretty far out.
Maybe I can reach him.
Here, hold onto my hand.
Okay.
Just a little more.
Beaver, how come
you didn't hold onto me?
I couldn't.
Well, my hands were
slippery from frog slime.
Boy, Beav.
We sure got a mess of frogs.
Yeah. And I've
been looking in here,
and I think maybe I made
friends with some of 'em already.
Beaver, how can you
make friends with a frog?
Well, gee.
Some of them just look at ya,
and you know
they're friends with ya.
Boy, and you give
me the business
about getting mushy over a girl.
Hey, Beaver!
Hi, Richard. Hi, Gilbert.
Did somebody throw
water on you guys?
Nah, we've been catching frogs.
Well, how many did you catch?
$6.25 worth.
That's half of my
half of the canoe.
You want to take them over
now to the guy who buys them?
Nah, we've got a day off
from school on Wednesday.
Let's take them over
then, and this way,
I can catch some more.
Oh, okay.
Boy, you guys smell!
We know it, but
we've got a reason.
You know, you'll
never catch me froggin'.
Why not?
Well, do you think I want to
get all covered with warts?
Hey, Rich, what's
this guy you know
do with all the frogs he buys?
Well, he croaks them,
and, and then he sends
them to different schools.
Schools?
Well, yeah, where
they study to be doctors.
I never met a
frog doctor before.
Well, you can't
be a people doctor
without operating
on frogs first.
That's how they find out
what makes people sick.
You know, frogs
are just like we are.
They sure don't look like it.
Well, they do inside.
Hey, have you ever
seen a frog cut up?
No.
Oh, well, uh, they got
lungs, and a heart, and a liver.
They even got tonsils.
Mine are out.
Yeah.
I bet Dr. Graham
took a frog's tonsils out
before he took yours out.
- Hey, you know, maybe that's
why he always wears rubber gloves,
so his hands won't
smell like a frog.
Cut it out, Gilbert.
Honey, have you
seen my big dishpan?
Sure, I just saw it
out in the garage.
It's full of frogs.
Oh, no.
Well, there wasn't room
in Beaver's old plastic
wading pool for all of them.
Honey, you know, I think
you ought to do something
about those frogs.
They make the place
smell sort of swampy.
Oh, I don't know.
I kind of like them.
I woke up last night
and heard them croaking.
Took me right back to the farm.
Well, that's fine, Reuben.
How long is he going to
keep them around here?
Well, just till Wednesday.
Well, I'm willing to put up
with them until Wednesday.
But, honey, I wish
you'd speak to Beaver
and see they're gone by then.
All right, dear.
I'll talk to him.
Honey? Why would
a man buy frogs?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe a pet store.
Maybe he's just one of those
lucky fellows who never grew up.
Look, Wally. They're
starting to feel at home.
Yeah, they'll feel
even more at home
when we get the water lily pads
from the pond for
them to squat on.
Hi, Beaver.
Hi, Chuckie. Did you get them?
Yeah, I got 118.
Well, don't open the box.
The flies will get away.
They're all dead. You
want to count them?
Nah, I trust you, Chuckie.
How many rides in the canoe
does that make, Beaver?
Let's see.
At 50 flies a ride, that's two.
Neato!
Hey, Chuckie, where
do you catch them at?
Oh, I swatted most of them.
I stole some from spider webs.
Then I put an ice cream
bar on the sidewalk.
I got 36 that way!
Hi, fellas!
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, Mr. Cleaver.
Hi, Dad.
Look what Chuckie
bought them, Dad.
Dinner... nice fresh flies.
Yeah, well, that's
a fine-looking bunch
of frogs you have there, Beaver.
Show him Smiley, Beav.
This is Smiley.
He's my favorite.
Doesn't he look
like he's smiling?
Oh, yes, uh, sort of.
Look what happens
when I tickle him.
His eyes close.
I think he's getting to know me.
You want to feed him
some flies, Mr. Cleaver?
Oh, uh, no thanks, Chuckie.
Uh, not right now.
Did you talk to the boys?
Uh-huh.
Are they going to get rid
of the frogs by Wednesday?
Uh, well, I didn't talk
to them about that.
Oh, Ward.
Well, June, I didn't
have the heart.
They've become real pets to
the boys, especially Beaver.
Pets? Frogs?
Well, I know that's sort of
hard for a girl to understand,
but a boy can get pretty
attached to a pail full of frogs.
Beaver even calls one
of them by name: Smiley.
Well, I guess I'm just going
to have to get used to them.
Would you like to come
out and see Smiley eat flies?
No, thank you.
Hey, Beav.
Look what I got for ya.
- Dragonflies?
- Sure.
My biology teacher says
that frogs just love dragonflies.
Oh.
Come on, fellas.
Boy, have I got a
treat for you guys!
Beaver, do frogs get married?
Well, they don't have
weddings like people do,
but they have husbands
and wives and raise families.
Oh!
I wonder if frogs' kids go
to some kind of frog school
when they're little.
Well, not like we do,
but their dad teaches them,
well, how to swim,
and catch flies,
and, uh, well, protect
themselves against their enemies.
Emenies?
Gee, I never saw a frog fight.
Oh, they don't fight.
When they see an enemy,
they just hop away
to a safe place.
Are they a' scared?
Oh, no.
They're not chicken or anything.
They just don't dig fighting.
Oh.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Beaver.
Well, I think I made it.
Made what?
How much is 50 times 25 cents?
Uh, twelve dollars and a half.
That's right.
And that's how many frogs I got,
and now I can buy
Mr. Peterson's canoe.
You said you'd pay half.
Well, yes, I know.
Uh, of course,
you'll have to convert
the frogs to cash first.
That's easy.
All's I have to do is
take them to this man
who buys frogs, tomorrow.
Beaver, who is this
man that buys frogs?
I don't know, Mom.
Well, just some
friend of Richard's.
You know, your
hair looks different.
Oh, I had it done again.
Do you like it?
Yeah, it makes
you look even older.
Well, I gotta go feed my frogs.
Ward, you said it would
take him a long time
to earn that canoe.
Well, I didn't know
the frog business
was going to turn out
to be such a bonanza.
Anyway, he still
doesn't have the money.
No, but if Richard does
know a man who buys frogs,
Beaver has a canoe, and
you have a responsibility.
Yeah.
Somehow it always seems
to come back to
the father, doesn't it?
45, 46, 47, 48.
Well, that last one is Elsie.
You counted her once already.
Oh, okay.
48, 49.
Well, hey, you're one short.
And Smiley makes 50!
Oh, okay.
Come on, let's put
them in the buckets.
Well, where are we
gonna take them, Richard?
To the man at the laboratory.
Well, laboratory?
Well, sure. That's
where they croak 'em.
Croak 'em?
Well, yeah.
Then they stick them in alcohol
and send them to schools.
What do they do that for?
Well, so college
guys can cut them up
and learn about their insides.
Gee, I didn't know that.
Well, sure. Come
on, let's get going.
I just remembered, I've gotta
do something for my mom.
Well, go ahead. I'll load 'em.
Put Smiley in.
Well, uh, it's an all-day job.
Well, why didn't
you tell me before?
Well, on account of I
forgot about it until now.
Oh, okay!
Then I guess we'll
have to do it tomorrow.
Okay?
Yeah. Oh, sure.
Beaver, what's the matter?
You don't look so good.
Well, you look like you did
that time Angelina Valentine
got sick in the back
of the school bus.
It's okay. I'll see ya, Richard.
Yeah, okay.
Well, Beaver, a lot of places
use frogs to experiment on.
Yeah, but I thought the
man just collected frogs
on account of he liked them.
What difference does it
make, as long as he buys them?
Well, I don't like the idea
of my frogs being croaked.
Well, it doesn't
matter to a frog.
Well, it matters to me!
Well, Beaver, it looks like
you're going to have to decide
between the frogs and the canoe.
Gee, Dad.
I thought you'd say
something like that.
June! Oh, June!
Hi, Ward!
Oh, hi.
Uh, where's Beaver?
Isn't he out in the garage?
No, and the frogs
aren't there either.
He must have decided
to sell them after all.
Oh, I wish he'd kept them.
I thought you didn't like them.
Well, it must be hard to give
up something you're that fond of,
even when it means a canoe.
You know, for an ex-girl,
you're very understanding.
Wally.
Did you find him?
Nope.
Did you go over
to Richard's house?
Yeah, and his mother said he
went somewhere with Beaver.
Ward, it's half past seven!
Well, he's probably
gone with Richard
to take the frogs
over to that man.
Wally, did he mention
the name of the place?
No. He, he just said it was
some guy that buys frogs.
Hey... Beaver!
Son, where have you been?
Getting rid of my frogs.
Did the guy pay you
the money for them?
I didn't sell them.
Well, why? Wouldn't he buy them?
No, I took them over to
Miller's Pond and let them go.
Smiley, too?
Yeah.
You know, I think they
were happy to be home.
Well, Beaver.
I guess they're
a lot like people.
Everybody's always
glad to be home.
Well, I know I am, on
account of I'm hungry.
Hey, Beav.
How much money you got?
$1.27.
Boy, you know, Wally?
I sure wish I was an Indian.
Why an Indian?
Because all Indian
kids got canoes for free,
just on account of
they were Indians.
Boy, I'll bet by the
time I raise the money,
Mr. Peterson will
have sold the canoe.
Hi, fellas!
Oh, hi, Dad.
Hi, Dad.
Beaver, looks like
you're a little short there.
I'm a whole lot short, Dad.
Boy, everything's
expensive nowadays.
You take my car, for instance.
They want, uh, $15 to polish it.
Job's not worth a cent
over twelve and a half.
I could do it for you, Dad!
Oh, would you do it
for twelve and a half?
Oh, sure.
I'd even paint it for that!
Just a polish job's all I need.
All right.
Hey, Wally, do you
think Dad knows
this means I get my canoe?
Sure, Beaver.
Dad's car doesn't
even need polishing.
You know, it's pretty
neat having a father
who understands about canoes.
Yeah, but it's even
neater having one
who understands about frogs.
and...
Well, hi there, Beaver.
Hi, Dad. Well, you're
kind of a little late
in getting home
tonight, aren't you?
Yeah, kind of a little.
Why? Were you waiting for me?
Oh, no, sir.
Well, I was just sitting
here on the stairs.
Oh.
Dad?
Yeah. Do you want something?
Do you know how much
a new canoe would cost?
Oh, no.
It's been a long time since
I owned a canoe, Beaver.
Well, I looked into it,
and I found out they cost $200.
Yeah, that sounds like it'd
be about the going price.
Well, then if a guy
could get one for 25,
it'd be a real
bargain, wouldn't it?
Yeah, if a guy could
get one for that,
that'd be a good bargain.
Well, it isn't exactly
a new, new one.
Well, it's sort of a,
well, a new used one.
Oh, I see.
Well, in that case, the
bargain would depend
on just how used the
new used canoe was.
Well, it belongs to
Mr. Peterson down at the lake.
Well, it's a real safe canoe,
'cause he's rented
it out for three years,
and nobody's ever
drowned in it yet.
Oh.
Well, then you're the one who's
interested in buying the canoe, huh?
Well, well, yes sir, sort of.
Well, and if I had a canoe,
I could go fishing
in it and play Indians.
And you always told me how
much fun you had with a canoe
when you were a kid.
Couldn't I buy it, huh, Dad?
Well, Beaver, I
know Mr. Peterson
wouldn't sell you
anything that wasn't right,
and I think you're
probably old enough now.
But where'd you
expect to get the $25?
Well, I thought maybe you'd
have an idea about that, too.
Beaver, every time
you want something,
do you expect me to
just hand over the money?
Oh, gee. No, sir.
I got over expecting that,
well, about three years ago.
I figured maybe you
and me could figure out,
some way I could earn it.
Oh, all right.
Fine.
Tell you what, I'll, uh,
I'll make a deal with you.
You earn half the money,
and I'll give you
the other half.
Gee, Dad. That'd be neat.
And I'll see
Mr. Peterson tomorrow
and tell him not
to sell the canoe
to any other little creeps.
Okay.
- Hi, dear.
- Hi.
Well, Beaver, what's
this about a canoe?
Well, me and Dad
just made a deal.
Hey, Mom, you look different.
Oh, it must be my hair.
I had it done a
little differently.
You like it?
Yeah, it makes you look older.
Thank you.
Well, that beauty
parlor just lost me.
Honey, what's
this about a canoe?
Oh, uh, Mr. Peterson,
up at the lake,
has a used one he
wants to sell for $25.
I told Beaver if he'd
earn half the money,
I'd give him the other half.
But, honey, do you think
Beaver's old enough for a canoe?
I don't think we
need to worry about it.
By the time he earns
twelve dollars and a half,
he'll probably be so old,
he won't want a canoe.
I hope you're right.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, Beaver, what are you doing?
I'm just looking at
the want ads for a job.
Finding anything
there you could do?
No. Most of them say
you've got to be a
college graduate.
How come they say that, Wally?
Listen, if they didn't ask
for college graduates,
parents couldn't make
their kids go to college.
That's the way it works, huh?
Hey, here's one, Wally!
"Handyman wanted,
afternoons only, $5 a day."
Beaver, that's
situations wanted.
Isn't a situation a job?
Yeah, but, but this guy
wants a guy to hire him.
You've gotta find a guy
that wants to hire a guy.
Boy, no wonder so many
people are out of work.
They probably can't
understand these goofy ads!
Well, just stay over there
in the "Help Wanted."
I tried that before,
but all they say is
"Men Wanted," "Women
Wanted," and "Couples Wanted."
They don't have
any "Kids Wanted."
That's mostly on account
of the child labor laws.
Child labor laws? What's that?
Well, that's, that's
a law they've got
to keep kids from working.
I had it in civics.
In the olden days, they used to
have kids sweeping chimneys and,
and working in factories,
and working underground
in mines and stuff.
Gee, how come they
stopped all that neat stuff?
I don't know. I guess they
were losing too many kids.
Oh.
Beav, the way you
should get a job is,
is you should go
around to places like, uh,
like the drugstore and
the market and ask them.
Think I ought to, huh?
Well, sure.
Some guys might
tell you to get lost or,
or chase you away with a broom,
but it's good training for life.
But I don't want
training for life.
All's I want is a canoe!
Oh, hi, Mom.
Hello, Wally.
You seen your brother?
Well, the last I saw him,
he was down at
Martin's Soda Fountain.
He'd already had two sodas
and hadn't got up enough
nerve to ask for a job.
Oh, Wally. Why didn't
you ask Mr. Martin for him?
Gee, Mom. I didn't
want to feel like a creep
in front of the guys,
helping my brother.
Oh, Wally.
I called the florist for you.
Hm?
Well, if you're going to
take Mary Ellen Rogers
to the dance on Saturday night,
you'll want to
give her a corsage.
Gee, Mom. I forgot all about it.
How come you thought of it?
Well, I guess I
remember how badly I felt
when I went to a party once,
and I didn't have a corsage.
Well, didn't Dad give you one?
Oh, that was before
I met your father.
You mean, you dated
other fellas besides Dad?
A few, dear.
Well, gee. Does
he know about it?
Oh, yes.
Boy, oh, boy.
Wally, are you so
surprised that I had dates?
Well, it's kind of hard for
a guy to picture his mother
as hanging around in the
drugstore with guys and...
And acting silly and all that.
I guess it is kind
of hard to imagine
your parents were ever human.
Hey, Beaver.
Hi, Richard.
Hi, Beav.
Hey, what were
you doing in there?
Looking for a job.
Selling ladies' nightgowns?
Of course not.
Well, I was gonna ask them,
well, if they needed
a boy, you know,
to sweep out and clean the
windows, and stuff like that.
But when I got in there
and saw all that creepy
underwear looking at me,
I sort of chickened out.
Hey, Beav, but if you get a
real job like that in a shop,
well, you've gotta
have a work permit,
and then a Social Security
number and all that stuff.
What's a Social Security number?
Oh, that's when you
get too old to work,
the government pays
you for doing nothing.
Gee, how old do you have to be?
Real old, about
30 or 35, I guess.
Gee, if I ever got that old, I'd
feel funny paddling a canoe.
Hey, Beaver!
You gonna get a canoe?
Well, I might.
Mr. Peterson down at the lake
was gonna sell them for $25,
and my dad said if I
earned half the money,
he'd pay the other half.
Hey, Beav.
If, if I tell you a
way to make money,
will you take me
out in your canoe?
Sure. How?
Selling frogs.
Frogs?
Well, yeah. I know a guy
that will buy them
for 25 cents apiece.
Well, where do you catch them?
Well, you know Miller's Pond,
where the cattails
are sticking up,
and the water smells bad?
Yeah, that's a neat place.
There's over a hundred
million of them there.
There is?
Boy, 25 cents apiece.
Gee, thanks, Richard.
You could have a
couple of hundred rides
in the canoe for this.
25 cents apiece.
Well, the boys gone?
Honey, they came down early,
got their own
breakfasts, and left.
Beaver left this.
"Gone to Miller's
Pond with Wally.
We'll be back for lunch.
Your son, Theodore Cleaver."
Honey, why do you suppose
they'd go there and so early?
Well, probably looking for
a place to moor that canoe.
You didn't weaken and give
him the money, did you, Ward?
Oh, no. But you
know how Beaver is.
He's absolutely sure
he's gonna make it.
If he doesn't find a job,
I suppose you'll make one
up for him around the house.
No, I think that'd
spoil it for him.
He wants to do this on his own.
And anyway, he's at the age now
where he recognizes
a made-up job.
Got him!
Boy, he's a beauty.
How many's that, Beav?
$5.75 worth.
You know, Beaver,
this is kids' stuff.
Then how come you came
with me, if it's kids' stuff?
Aw, I don't know.
But if you fell in the pond
and drowned or something,
they'd find some
way to blame me.
Ah.
Hey, there's one!
Yeah.
Wow!
He's a giant!
He's a bullfrog.
How can you tell?
Well, because bullfrogs
have a croak like a man,
and cow frogs have
a croak like a girl.
He's a bullfrog all right.
Does it make any difference
to the guy who's buying them?
No, but I guess it
does to the frogs.
Yeah, I'd sure hate to be
a frog and be a cow frog.
Well, that's about, I'd
say, six dollars worth.
Hey, there's one.
I don't know.
He's pretty far out.
Maybe I can reach him.
Here, hold onto my hand.
Okay.
Just a little more.
Beaver, how come
you didn't hold onto me?
I couldn't.
Well, my hands were
slippery from frog slime.
Boy, Beav.
We sure got a mess of frogs.
Yeah. And I've
been looking in here,
and I think maybe I made
friends with some of 'em already.
Beaver, how can you
make friends with a frog?
Well, gee.
Some of them just look at ya,
and you know
they're friends with ya.
Boy, and you give
me the business
about getting mushy over a girl.
Hey, Beaver!
Hi, Richard. Hi, Gilbert.
Did somebody throw
water on you guys?
Nah, we've been catching frogs.
Well, how many did you catch?
$6.25 worth.
That's half of my
half of the canoe.
You want to take them over
now to the guy who buys them?
Nah, we've got a day off
from school on Wednesday.
Let's take them over
then, and this way,
I can catch some more.
Oh, okay.
Boy, you guys smell!
We know it, but
we've got a reason.
You know, you'll
never catch me froggin'.
Why not?
Well, do you think I want to
get all covered with warts?
Hey, Rich, what's
this guy you know
do with all the frogs he buys?
Well, he croaks them,
and, and then he sends
them to different schools.
Schools?
Well, yeah, where
they study to be doctors.
I never met a
frog doctor before.
Well, you can't
be a people doctor
without operating
on frogs first.
That's how they find out
what makes people sick.
You know, frogs
are just like we are.
They sure don't look like it.
Well, they do inside.
Hey, have you ever
seen a frog cut up?
No.
Oh, well, uh, they got
lungs, and a heart, and a liver.
They even got tonsils.
Mine are out.
Yeah.
I bet Dr. Graham
took a frog's tonsils out
before he took yours out.
- Hey, you know, maybe that's
why he always wears rubber gloves,
so his hands won't
smell like a frog.
Cut it out, Gilbert.
Honey, have you
seen my big dishpan?
Sure, I just saw it
out in the garage.
It's full of frogs.
Oh, no.
Well, there wasn't room
in Beaver's old plastic
wading pool for all of them.
Honey, you know, I think
you ought to do something
about those frogs.
They make the place
smell sort of swampy.
Oh, I don't know.
I kind of like them.
I woke up last night
and heard them croaking.
Took me right back to the farm.
Well, that's fine, Reuben.
How long is he going to
keep them around here?
Well, just till Wednesday.
Well, I'm willing to put up
with them until Wednesday.
But, honey, I wish
you'd speak to Beaver
and see they're gone by then.
All right, dear.
I'll talk to him.
Honey? Why would
a man buy frogs?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe a pet store.
Maybe he's just one of those
lucky fellows who never grew up.
Look, Wally. They're
starting to feel at home.
Yeah, they'll feel
even more at home
when we get the water lily pads
from the pond for
them to squat on.
Hi, Beaver.
Hi, Chuckie. Did you get them?
Yeah, I got 118.
Well, don't open the box.
The flies will get away.
They're all dead. You
want to count them?
Nah, I trust you, Chuckie.
How many rides in the canoe
does that make, Beaver?
Let's see.
At 50 flies a ride, that's two.
Neato!
Hey, Chuckie, where
do you catch them at?
Oh, I swatted most of them.
I stole some from spider webs.
Then I put an ice cream
bar on the sidewalk.
I got 36 that way!
Hi, fellas!
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, Mr. Cleaver.
Hi, Dad.
Look what Chuckie
bought them, Dad.
Dinner... nice fresh flies.
Yeah, well, that's
a fine-looking bunch
of frogs you have there, Beaver.
Show him Smiley, Beav.
This is Smiley.
He's my favorite.
Doesn't he look
like he's smiling?
Oh, yes, uh, sort of.
Look what happens
when I tickle him.
His eyes close.
I think he's getting to know me.
You want to feed him
some flies, Mr. Cleaver?
Oh, uh, no thanks, Chuckie.
Uh, not right now.
Did you talk to the boys?
Uh-huh.
Are they going to get rid
of the frogs by Wednesday?
Uh, well, I didn't talk
to them about that.
Oh, Ward.
Well, June, I didn't
have the heart.
They've become real pets to
the boys, especially Beaver.
Pets? Frogs?
Well, I know that's sort of
hard for a girl to understand,
but a boy can get pretty
attached to a pail full of frogs.
Beaver even calls one
of them by name: Smiley.
Well, I guess I'm just going
to have to get used to them.
Would you like to come
out and see Smiley eat flies?
No, thank you.
Hey, Beav.
Look what I got for ya.
- Dragonflies?
- Sure.
My biology teacher says
that frogs just love dragonflies.
Oh.
Come on, fellas.
Boy, have I got a
treat for you guys!
Beaver, do frogs get married?
Well, they don't have
weddings like people do,
but they have husbands
and wives and raise families.
Oh!
I wonder if frogs' kids go
to some kind of frog school
when they're little.
Well, not like we do,
but their dad teaches them,
well, how to swim,
and catch flies,
and, uh, well, protect
themselves against their enemies.
Emenies?
Gee, I never saw a frog fight.
Oh, they don't fight.
When they see an enemy,
they just hop away
to a safe place.
Are they a' scared?
Oh, no.
They're not chicken or anything.
They just don't dig fighting.
Oh.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Beaver.
Well, I think I made it.
Made what?
How much is 50 times 25 cents?
Uh, twelve dollars and a half.
That's right.
And that's how many frogs I got,
and now I can buy
Mr. Peterson's canoe.
You said you'd pay half.
Well, yes, I know.
Uh, of course,
you'll have to convert
the frogs to cash first.
That's easy.
All's I have to do is
take them to this man
who buys frogs, tomorrow.
Beaver, who is this
man that buys frogs?
I don't know, Mom.
Well, just some
friend of Richard's.
You know, your
hair looks different.
Oh, I had it done again.
Do you like it?
Yeah, it makes
you look even older.
Well, I gotta go feed my frogs.
Ward, you said it would
take him a long time
to earn that canoe.
Well, I didn't know
the frog business
was going to turn out
to be such a bonanza.
Anyway, he still
doesn't have the money.
No, but if Richard does
know a man who buys frogs,
Beaver has a canoe, and
you have a responsibility.
Yeah.
Somehow it always seems
to come back to
the father, doesn't it?
45, 46, 47, 48.
Well, that last one is Elsie.
You counted her once already.
Oh, okay.
48, 49.
Well, hey, you're one short.
And Smiley makes 50!
Oh, okay.
Come on, let's put
them in the buckets.
Well, where are we
gonna take them, Richard?
To the man at the laboratory.
Well, laboratory?
Well, sure. That's
where they croak 'em.
Croak 'em?
Well, yeah.
Then they stick them in alcohol
and send them to schools.
What do they do that for?
Well, so college
guys can cut them up
and learn about their insides.
Gee, I didn't know that.
Well, sure. Come
on, let's get going.
I just remembered, I've gotta
do something for my mom.
Well, go ahead. I'll load 'em.
Put Smiley in.
Well, uh, it's an all-day job.
Well, why didn't
you tell me before?
Well, on account of I
forgot about it until now.
Oh, okay!
Then I guess we'll
have to do it tomorrow.
Okay?
Yeah. Oh, sure.
Beaver, what's the matter?
You don't look so good.
Well, you look like you did
that time Angelina Valentine
got sick in the back
of the school bus.
It's okay. I'll see ya, Richard.
Yeah, okay.
Well, Beaver, a lot of places
use frogs to experiment on.
Yeah, but I thought the
man just collected frogs
on account of he liked them.
What difference does it
make, as long as he buys them?
Well, I don't like the idea
of my frogs being croaked.
Well, it doesn't
matter to a frog.
Well, it matters to me!
Well, Beaver, it looks like
you're going to have to decide
between the frogs and the canoe.
Gee, Dad.
I thought you'd say
something like that.
June! Oh, June!
Hi, Ward!
Oh, hi.
Uh, where's Beaver?
Isn't he out in the garage?
No, and the frogs
aren't there either.
He must have decided
to sell them after all.
Oh, I wish he'd kept them.
I thought you didn't like them.
Well, it must be hard to give
up something you're that fond of,
even when it means a canoe.
You know, for an ex-girl,
you're very understanding.
Wally.
Did you find him?
Nope.
Did you go over
to Richard's house?
Yeah, and his mother said he
went somewhere with Beaver.
Ward, it's half past seven!
Well, he's probably
gone with Richard
to take the frogs
over to that man.
Wally, did he mention
the name of the place?
No. He, he just said it was
some guy that buys frogs.
Hey... Beaver!
Son, where have you been?
Getting rid of my frogs.
Did the guy pay you
the money for them?
I didn't sell them.
Well, why? Wouldn't he buy them?
No, I took them over to
Miller's Pond and let them go.
Smiley, too?
Yeah.
You know, I think they
were happy to be home.
Well, Beaver.
I guess they're
a lot like people.
Everybody's always
glad to be home.
Well, I know I am, on
account of I'm hungry.
Hey, Beav.
How much money you got?
$1.27.
Boy, you know, Wally?
I sure wish I was an Indian.
Why an Indian?
Because all Indian
kids got canoes for free,
just on account of
they were Indians.
Boy, I'll bet by the
time I raise the money,
Mr. Peterson will
have sold the canoe.
Hi, fellas!
Oh, hi, Dad.
Hi, Dad.
Beaver, looks like
you're a little short there.
I'm a whole lot short, Dad.
Boy, everything's
expensive nowadays.
You take my car, for instance.
They want, uh, $15 to polish it.
Job's not worth a cent
over twelve and a half.
I could do it for you, Dad!
Oh, would you do it
for twelve and a half?
Oh, sure.
I'd even paint it for that!
Just a polish job's all I need.
All right.
Hey, Wally, do you
think Dad knows
this means I get my canoe?
Sure, Beaver.
Dad's car doesn't
even need polishing.
You know, it's pretty
neat having a father
who understands about canoes.
Yeah, but it's even
neater having one
who understands about frogs.