Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 32 - In the Soup - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Oh, hi, Mom.

Well, hi there, Wally.

You're home from
school early today.

Yeah.

Yeah, they let us
out half an hour early.

They were spraying
the trees for bugs

and they didn't want
to kill any students.

That was considerate of them.

Hey, Mom, would it be okay



if I asked you a favor?

Well, it never hurts to ask.

Honey, would you hand
me those thumbtacks?

Sure, Mom.

Thank you.

Well, you know how
I'm always getting invited

over to the guys'
houses on Friday nights

to listen to records and stuff?

Yes.

Well, since I've been
eating off them all this time,

I thought-I thought that I
ought to give them a chance

to eat off me.

You mean, you'd like
to have them over here?

Well, yeah.



Yeah, if it's okay
with you and Dad,

I'd like to have a
whole bunch of the guys

over here Friday night.

Well, Wally, this
whole bunch of guys,

who are they?

Oh, uh, you know, um,
Margie, Mary Ellen, Tommy,

- Eddie, Christine, Mildred...
- Oh, those guys.

Well, yeah. Yeah, it
won't be any trouble, Mom.

All you gotta do is
just put out some bowls

with candy and popcorn and nuts,

and soft drinks and stuff.

Oh, well, that sounds
simple enough.

Yeah.

Yeah, then after we
get finished dancing

and playing records, we'll
have something to eat.

You don't eat until then?

No, it usually
takes quite a while

to cook up the bacon and eggs

or whatever the guys
vote on they want that night.

But we always clean up the mess.

The mess?

Well, it's not really a mess.

- Oh.
- You see, we just...

We just take out the
paper plates to the trash can

and empty out the pop bottles

and sweep up any records
that have gotten busted,

and then... You break records?

Oh, well, it's usually
the girls' fault.

Oh?

Yeah, yeah, they leave
them around in the chairs

and then the guys sit on them.

How 'bout it, Mom?

Well, Wally, I guess...

If your father doesn't
have any other plans,

it'll be all right
for Friday night.

- Gee, thanks a lot, Mom.
- Mm-hmm.

I'll help you lug the groceries
home from the market.

Thank you, dear.

Ward, is that you?

Hi.

Well, hi.

Well, I thought you
were going to a meeting

and wouldn't be
home until later.

They called it off.
So I came home.

Oh.

Something wrong?

No, dear, it's just that I
didn't expect you this early.

Oh. Well, I could go out

and sit in the car for
an hour, if that'd help.

I think I can put up with you.

Honey, Wally wants to
have a party on Friday night.

Oh, yeah, who's
he going to have?

Oh, just a whole
bunch of the guys,

Marge and Mary Ellen and
Eddie, Mildred and Christine.

Oh, those guys. I
guess it's all right.

You know, the
last time Wally had

boys and girls to a party

was on his 12th birthday.

The boys all stayed
in the kitchen,

and the girls all stayed
in the living room.

Yeah. That's when Wally
was young and bashful

and shy... and smart.

Ward.

Hey, thanks a lot
about the party, Mom.

You're welcome.

I'll tell all the kids
tomorrow at school

that it's all set
for Friday night.

All right.

Oh, did you have any
trouble convincing Dad

that it would be okay?

No, he's sure that
you and your friends

are gonna behave yourselves.

Yeah, if any of the
guys step outta line,

I'll clobber 'em.

Oh, Mom?

Yes?

Well, I was just wondering...
I was just wondering

what you and Dad were
gonna do Friday night?

Oh, well, your father and
I haven't discussed that.

Why?

I don't know, but,
well, you know,

we're gonna be here
dancing and playing records

and stuff and...

Well, you don't have to worry.

The old folks won't interfere.

Hey, that's great.
I mean, that...

That's great that you and Dad

aren't gonna have to hang around

and listen to all that junk.

Oh, you don't have to worry
about the guys staying too late.

They're pretty good about
knowing when to go home.

Oh, has that been
somewhat of a problem?

Well, no.

No, I don't think
Dad'll have to do

what Lumpy's father does.

About 11:00, he comes
down in his bathrobe

and turns off the gas
logs in the fireplace.

Most of the guys get the hint,

except for the dumb ones.

Well, I would hope so.

Oh, Mom, uh, one
other thing, um,

what about the Beaver?

What about him?

Well, you know how the Beav is.

Why, Wally, the Beaver
is a very nice little boy.

Well, yeah, I know.

I know, that's why we don't
want him hanging around.

Well, what do you mean by that?

Well, I don't know,

but it's like any time
I'm talking to a girl,

he comes up behind me

and starts making kissing
noises or something.

Well, Wally, I think we can keep
the Beaver from embarrassing you.

Gee, thanks, Mom.

Hey, Wally, you know who
we're studying about in history?

Henry the Eighth.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. When he was a king,

he chopped all his
wives' heads off.

He was a neat guy.

Yeah, we had him. He
was a pretty neat guy.

He didn't chop
them all off, though.

A couple of them got away.

Oh.

Hey what'd they
do with the heads?

I don't know.

They don't tell you that
until you get into college.

Oh.

Hey, Beav, how would
you like to go to the movies

Friday night, on me?

You mean, you'd pay my way?

Well, sure. Sure, in advance.

Here.

Gee, thanks, Wally.

How come you're doing this?

Look, look, there's
no law against a guy

doing his brother a favor
once in a while, is there?

No, I guess not.

Okay.

Well, I thought
maybe you were trying

to get rid of me Friday night,

on account of
you having a party.

Hey, how did you find
out about the party?

Well, Whitey's Mom asked
me to stay overnight Friday night

and when I asked Mom if I could,

she said it'd work out fine

on account of
you having a party.

You want your money back?

Nah, go ahead, you can keep it.

Gee, thanks, Wally.

Hey, who's coming to your party?

Just some of my friends.

Bet you're having something
else besides fellow friends.

What are you driving at?

I'll be you're having
girl friends too.

What of it?

Gee, Wally, uh, I don't
know what you guys

would want to go
spoil a neat party for

by having girls.

Well, I don't think
they'll spoil it too much.

Yeah, I guess if you
guys want to Indian wrestle

or crack your knuckles,
you can go in the kitchen.

Sure. Sure, we'll just
hang around the girls

while we're dancing and
playing records and stuff.

Now, let's see, pajamas,
toothbrush, slippers.

Have I forgotten anything?

Well, if he needs a
comb or a hairbrush,

he can use one of my old ones.

Thank you.

Yeah, Mom, and if you've
forgotten anything else,

it's not too far of a walk
back here from Whitey's.

Oh no, you don't.

Wally, what are you doing?

I'm just checking. It'd
be just like the Beaver

to walk into the middle
of my party tonight

asking for his pajama tops.

Wally, look, it's getting late

and you have a
lot of things to do

before your guests arrive.

Don't get all flaky, Wally.

I won't be here to
goof up your party.

Beaver, you just behave
yourself over at Whitey's.

Here you are.

Okay, Mom.

Oh, Beaver! Look at those hands.

Come on, I'm afraid you're
gonna have to go back upstairs

and wash them.

That's okay, Mrs. Cleaver.

My mother will make him get
washed at my house anyway.

Yeah, Mom.

Well, all right.
Good-bye, Beaver.

Good-bye, Mom.

- Bye, Whitey.
- Bye, Mrs. Cleaver.

And don't forget, Beav,
you're staying overnight.

I don't want you
bouncing back on me.

Come on, Whitey.

Hey, Beav! Look!

A new sign.

I never saw that before.

How do you suppose they
keep the soup hot all the time?

What do you mean?

They don't put
real soup in there.

Why wouldn't they?

Well, they just
wouldn't, that's all.

You wanna bet?

Look, Whitey, it'd take a
couple zillion cans of soup

to fill a big bowl like that.

Whitey: Okay.

Then how come there's
steam coming out of the soup

if there isn't any soup?

Well, it doesn't
have to be soup.

They probably got a machine
up there that makes steam.

Yeah, then how come
the sign says it's soup?

Look, Whitey, I don't know.

Let's get over to your house.

Then you admit I'm right?

I didn't say that.

I say it's real soup.

Well, I say it isn't.

Then prove it.

How can I prove it?

Well, you can climb
up there and see.

Why should I? Why don't you?

Because I don't have
to. I know it's real soup.

I know it isn't.

You don't want to
'cause you're chicken.

Okay. I'll show
you I'm not chicken.

Boy, Whitey, I'll prove
there's no soup up there.

What a dumb kid you are.

Yeah, I'm a dumb kid all right.

Uh, maybe I better come down.

No, just don't look
down, and you'll be okay.

Boy, it's high up here.

It just looks that way
'cause you're up there.

From here, it isn't high at all.

Where am I now, Whitey?

You're on her muscle.
Just keep going.

Be careful, Beaver!

Where am I now, Whitey?

Whitey: Pull
yourself up, Beaver.

Put your foot on
the lady's thumb.

Take it easy, Beaver!

You made it,
Beaver, you made it!

I can't see inside.

Hey...

I musta lost. I
didn't hear a splash.

Hey, Beaver, you all right?

Yeah, I guess so.
But how do I get out?

I don't know.

Hey, there's no soup
in there, is there?

No, just a hole where
the steam comes out.

Boy, Beaver, you win.
You're a real smart guy.

Yeah, ha ha.

More food?

I thought I just saw four
platters of sandwiches

out in the kitchen.

Oh, well, the popcorn,
nuts, and candy

are to give them an
appetite for the sandwiches.

Oh, I see.

And the sandwiches are
to give them an appetite

for the cake and the ice
cream that comes later.

How do they ever
manage to get home

without starving to death?

Wally says they
stop at a drive in

for hot dogs and hamburgers.

What time's the
group due to arrive?

Pretty soon.

And Wally says
they're very punctual

when they're going to a party
where food's being served.

Oh.

Where is Wally anyway?

He's upstairs shaving.

Oh, Ward, does Wally
really have to shave?

No, but he asked me if he did,

and I didn't want to
destroy his confidence

by telling him no.

Well, I hope Beaver
doesn't give Whitey's family

any trouble tonight.

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.

There's something about
staying at someone else's house

that brings out manners
kids never knew they had.

♪♪

Hey, Whitey, if I
don't get outta here,

I might starve to death.

Yeah, if there was
real soup in there,

you could drink that.

Ha ha, you have to be so funny?

Can't you pull yourself
up by your arms?

Uh-uh.

And anyway, the ground looks
awful far away from up here.

Yeah. I better go get your pop.

No, you can't get my Dad!

Why not? He'd
get you outta there.

Well, sure, but all the
time he was getting me out,

he'd keep yelling at me.

Yeah.

Hey, what if I went
and got your brother?

Uh-uh. He'd laugh at me.

Sometimes that's worse
than getting yelled at.

Anyway, he's having a party.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know.

I don't want anybody
to see me up here.

They'll think I'm
goofy or something.

Well, we gotta do something.

It's starting to get dark.
I'm gonna go get my pop.

Don't go away.

Where would I go?

♪♪

Oh boy, now everybody's
gonna see me.

I thought I just
heard a car drive up,

but I guess it was just the
people across the street.

Well, what do you suppose
is keeping everybody?

I don't know.

Are you sure they all
know where you live?

Well, Lumpy's bringing
most of the guys over.

He certainly knows where I live.

Well, are you sure they all
know what time to be here?

I told them to all
get here by 6:00

before the sandwiches
started curling up.

Well, Wally, maybe you
ought to call Lumpy up?

Gee, Mom, I don't
want the guys to think

I'm anxious for them
to come to my party.

I think I'll go get a hunk
of cake while I'm waiting.

♪♪

Now, Whitey, just take it slowly

and repeat that again, please?

Beaver just had
to see for himself

if there was soup in the bowl,

and that's how come he fell in.

And he's still in there
and can't get out?

That's right, pop.

You see, when he climbed up,

he stood on the
lady's can of soup,

then on her muscle,
and then on her thumb.

Lady? What lady?

The one on the billboard.

Oh.

Well, we better call
the Cleavers right away.

Frank.

- Yeah?
- Beaver's our guest.

Let's see if we can get him out

without worrying the Cleavers.

Yeah, you're probably right.

This wasn't one of your
ideas, was it, Whitey?

Gee, Dad, why would I tell a kid

to climb in a bowl of soup?

Come on.

♪♪

Huh, that car went right by.

Oh, they'll be here, Wally.

Oh, of course they will, Wally.

Maybe they're just trying
to be fashionably late.

What, Lumpy and Eddie?

Uh, I think I'll go have
another hunk of cake.

Another?

Well, yeah, there's no sense

letting it sit out
there and get moldy.

Oh, hi, Lumpy. Come on in.

- Hi, Wally.
- Are you alone?

Yeah, the rest of the guys
sent me over to get you.

Wally: The rest of the
guys? Where are they?

I dropped 'em off
over at Fourth and Oak.

Some kid fell in a bowl
of soup up on a billboard.

Fell into a bowl of soup?

Yes, sir. Everybody's there.

Come on, Wally.

Eddie told me to beat
it over here and get you.

Oh, okay. I'll be
right back, Mom.

Yeah, well, wait
a minute, Wally.

I'll drive you over,
and then we can give

some of your guests
a lift back to the party.

Well, okay.

Do you want to come along, dear?

No, dear. I better stay here
in case anyone else shows up.

Yeah.

Oh, no, it couldn't be.
He's over at Whitey's.

There's no way to get
up there from the back.

Dad, Dad, it's okay.

Somebody sent for
the fire department.

How'd he get up there?

Eddie, I don't see him.
Are you sure he's up there?

Sure he's up there.

I saw the top of his
head a few minutes ago.

Hey, kid, what are
you doing up there,

taking a bath?

Hey, you know,
that's pretty neat.

All right, Wally, some
dumb kid fell in the soup.

Good evening, Mr. Cleaver.

Some poor unfortunate
child is trapped up there.

Anyone know who the boy is?

No, he's hiding.

They should get a
psychiatrist to talk him down.

That's what they should do.

Hey, here come the fire engines!

Maybe they'll know
how to get him out.

I hope they do. I'm
so worried about him.

Do you happen to
know who the boy is?

Well, yes, the boy's
name is... Well, Ward!

Well, hello, Frank.

Well, well, you see
they, uh, uh, it's Beaver.

Beaver?

Yes.

It happened on the
way to my house.

He never got to our house.

I mean, Mrs. Whitney
and I had no idea that...

He had some goofy idea there
was soup in the bowl, Mr. Cleaver.

Coming through
here. Watch it, please.

Excuse us.

Mr. Fireman, he's
right inside the bowl.

♪♪

All right, son,
give me your hand.

Easy now.

Oh, no.

Hey, Wally, isn't that
your little brother?

Who else?

Oh, the fireman saved my child!

That's it, take it easy, son.

Slowly. That's it. Okay.

Beaver, are you all right, son?

Yeah, Dad, except I just wish
I could go hide someplace.

Are you sure
you're all right, son?

Yes, sir.

You better be a little
more careful the next time.

Thank you very much.

Beaver, how in the world
could you get yourself

in a mess like this?

Well, gee, Dad, I was
climbing on the lady's thumb,

and I fell in the soup bowl.

Well, I know that, Beaver.

But in the beginning,
how could you possibly...

Please, Dad, don't yell at me.

Well, all right, Beaver.

Come on, we'd better go home.

Gee, Mr. Cleaver,

Beaver's spending
the night at my house.

Yeah, Dad, you promised
I could stay overnight.

Yeah, we had all
kinds of junk planned.

Well, uh... I have
my car here, Ward.

The boys will be
very disappointed.

All right, Beaver, I'll talk
to you in the morning.

Gee thanks, Dad.

Can I have your
autograph, please!

Don't be a wise guy, huh, kid?

Come on, Wally.

I'll give some of
you guys a lift home.

Anybody makes
a crack in the car,

I'll slug him.

Boy, Mom, that sure
was a neat party last night.

Yes, they did seem to have a
good time once they got here.

Yeah.

Hey, thanks for not coming down

and saying, "Hello,"
to everybody.

Oh, that's all right.

Did your father get
back with Beaver yet?

Yeah, he just brought
him back from Whitey's.

He's upstairs
talking to him now,

so I thought I should get lost.

Well, Whitey said there
was soup in the bowl,

and I said there wasn't.

Then he said there was,
and I said there wasn't.

Then he said I was
too chicken to prove it,

and I wasn't gonna let
anybody call me chicken.

And the next thing I
knew, I fell in the soup bowl.

I see.

Well, Beaver, I suppose
if this happened again,

you'd do the same thing.

Gee, no, Dad, I
wished I was dead

having a mile of people watch me

get fished out of a
soup bowl by a fireman.

Beaver, I certainly hope
you'll think about last night

before you ever take
another reckless dare.

I sure will, Dad.

It was like I was up
there with no clothes on.

You know, Beaver, a teacher
once said something to me

that I think you'd
do well to remember,

"As you go through life,
try to improve yourself,

not prove yourself."

Yeah, I heard that
stuff before, Dad,

but it's kinda hard to remember

when a guy's
calling you chicken.

Well, I'll tell you a
little secret, Beaver.

As you get older, it
gets easier and easier

to remember things like that.

Well, yeah, I guess so, Dad,

but I don't think I'll
ever be old enough

to be as smart as you are.