Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 30 - The School Picture - full transcript

While Ward and Wally work together to try to fix a military surplus walkie-talkie, sneaky Gilbert Bates double-crosses Beaver after the two agree to make goofy faces in the fifth grade class picture, leaving Beaver to "face" the consequences alone.

Starring...

and...

Oh, good!

You remembered the cleaning.

Well, it was a little
difficult to forget,

what with the note in my pocket

and two phone
calls to the office.

Well, honey, I wanted to be sure

we got the Beaver's
suit back in time

for his school
pictures tomorrow.

Oh. Well, fine.



But, uh, June, why
can't we go to a cleaner

who picks up and delivers?

This one gives trading stamps,

and the Beaver's saving them.

Oh. What's he saving up for?

A 50-horsepower outboard motor.

An outboard motor?

Hmph.

How many books does he need?

350.

How many does he have?

One.

I'm afraid he's going to
be a little disappointed.

This family doesn't have
enough cleaning and pressing



to get a ten-horse motor.

Well, Beaver said if he
couldn't get the outboard motor,

he'd settle for a basketball.

That only takes two books.

Oh.

Well, that accounts for
one of our horse traders.

What about the other one?

Oh, Wally's in the
middle of a big deal, too.

He came home
with a walkie-talkie.

Huh?

Where'd he get a walkie-talkie?

Made a trade with Eddie Haskell.

Eddie Haskell?

Without even seeing
it, I'll bet it doesn't work.

It doesn't.

When do you suppose
Wally's going to learn

that every time he does
business with Eddie,

he always gets the worst of it?

Dear, do you remember that
transistor radio Wally had?

Oh, the one he left on the beach

and got buried in
the sand and water?

That's what he traded
for the walkie-talkie.

Huh. Smart boy, that Wally.

Hey, Wally, where did he
get that walkie-talkie thing?

From Mr. Sawyer down
at the Army surplus store.

Eddie helped him
unload a whole truckload

of new second-hand shoes.

Oh.

Who are you gonna talk
to when you get it fixed?

To Eddie.

Mr. Sawyer gave him two of them.

Oh.

Is Eddie's walkie-talkie
busted, too?

Well, you don't think that wise guy
would keep the busted one, do ya?

No, I guess not.

There, that ought to do it.

Hello, Eddie.

Come in, Eddie. Over.

Come in, Eddie. Over.

I think it'd be easier to
call him on the phone.

That's not the idea.

Eddie's at home, and I told him

I'd call him as soon as
I got this thing working.

Oh.

That's an Army surplus
thing, isn't it, Wally?

Yeah.

Well, how come the
Army's always selling stuff?

I think that's the way they
make their money between wars.

Hey, how come you're
shining your shoes?

Oh, it's Miss Landers' idea.

We've gotta get our class
pictures taken tomorrow

for the yearbook.

Yeah, but you never see
your shoes in those pictures.

That's what we
told Miss Landers,

but she said if our
shoes were shined,

it would show on our faces.

There, I got it shined.

Does it show on my face?

I'll say.

You've got more
polish on your face

than you've got on your shoes.

Ah.

Hello, Eddie.

Hello, Eddie. Come
in, Eddie. Over.

Come in, Eddie. Over.

Hey, Wally!

Hey, Beav, I think I hear him.

Sure you do.

He's out front yelling for ya.

Beaver, will you stop fidgeting?

Gee, Mom. How
could a guy not fidget

when he's choking to death?

You're not choking to death.

No?

Well, it sure feels like it.

Couldn't I take my
necktie to school

and put it on when they
get ready to take the picture?

No, Beaver!

You'd never get
it tied properly!

I've never seen anyone
so reluctant to look nice.

Boy, this is the first time

I ever felt like
Sunday on Thursday.

Now, Beaver, when they
take your picture today,

I want you to stand up
tall, so we can all see you.

Yeah, and don't stand in
front of that Myrtle Jarvish,

who's always wearing
those creepy hair ribbons.

Yeah, it didn't work
out so well last year.

No, I guess it didn't.

It looked like you were
wearing the hair ribbon.

Myrtle's quit wearing
them big hair ribbons.

Oh?

Yeah, ever since the guys
started calling her the whirlybird.

Well, I'd better be going now.

Beaver, now you remember
to stay looking nice

until your picture's taken.

Oh, that won't be too long, Mom.

They're gonna take the pictures
as soon as we get to school,

so we won't get all
grubbed up at recess.

Sounds like a
very sensible idea.

Beaver, aren't they taking your
class picture awfully late this year?

Yeah.

Well, our class
is the last class

to have their picture taken.

We were supposed to
have it done twice before this.

What happened?

Well, the first time, four
guys had the measles,

and the next time, three
guys had black eyes.

Between the measles
and black eyes,

there would've been too
many holes in the picture.

Well, goodbye,
Dad. Goodbye, Mom.

Bye!

Coming, Wally?

Oh, no. You go ahead, Beav.

I'm not quite ready.

I don't blame you
for not wanting

to be seen on the
streets with me.

Hey, Dad.

Could you advance
me six dollars?

Six dollars? What for?

Well, I want to get my
walkie-talkie fixed up.

That's how much
it'll cost for the wires,

and the battery and stuff.

I don't know,
Wally. Six dollars!

Ward, you know, I think it would
give Wally a sense of accomplishment

if he fixed up
his walkie-talkie.

Well, maybe so. All right.

In the interest of our
science program, then...

here you are.

Don't forget, it's an advance.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Thanks a lot, Dad.

I'll see ya. So long, Mom.

Bye, dear.

Well, I'd better go
pick up their room.

My, times have certainly
changed since I was a boy.

I can remember bumming
20 cents off my father

to buy a cat's whisker
for my crystal set.

You don't mean a
real cat's whisker?

No.

No, it was a little coil
made out of metal.

It was actually the heart
of the crystal set. Hmph.

When it was activated by radio
frequencies, the result was...

Hey, Beav.

Beav, when the guy takes
our picture, let's make a face.

What kind of a face?

Well, like this.

Why should we do that?

Mm, just for fun.

That's no fun.

Aw, come on!

Wonderful. All right, children.

Now, let's quiet
down and all line up.

Good morning, Mr. Baxter.

Good morning, Miss Landers.

Well, do you think
we'll make it today?

Oh, I hope so.

We don't have any
measles or black eyes today.

Well, the printer has to
have the picture tomorrow.

I'm sure glad we
can make it today.

Wouldn't seem like a yearbook

without a picture
of the fifth grade.

No.

Well, I... I think
I'm just about set.

Class, now, you
know better than that.

The boys won't stand
with us, Miss Landers.

All right. Roger, Mark,
you come over here.

Girls, down here.

Come on, in here.

Harry, you get down there.

That's right. Come on,
Donna. Come on down here.

And, Theodore,
you stand right here.

And, Gilbert, you stand here.

Theodore, what
seems to be the trouble?

I don't like girls
to lean on me.

I'm sure no one
will lean on you.

All right, boys and girls.

Let's see how we look.

Now, boys, you can
do better than that.

Come on, smile.

That's better.

Mr. Baxter...

You gonna make a
face, like I said, Beaver?

I don't know if we should.

It'll make us big shots
in front of the other guys.

And anyway, it'll be easier
to find yourself in the picture,

instead of just standing
there looking dumb.

I didn't have any
trouble finding myself

in the picture last year.

That's 'cause you were
wearing a hair ribbon.

Cut it out, Gilbert.

Okay, Beav. But come on.

Let's both make a goofy face.

Nah, I don't think we should.

All right, Miss Landers.
I'm just about ready.

All right, children.

Now, I think
Mr. Baxter's ready for us.

You're chicken.

I am not.

Ya are if you won't
make a face with me.

You're really gonna make one?

Sure, I am.

Well... All right,
boys and girls.

I'll take it at the
count of three.

One... Get ready, Beav.

Two... Now, Beav! Now!

Three.

Well, that was fine, class.

Now, you just all stay right
where you are for a few seconds.

Nice going, Beav.

How come you're looking
at me like that, Gilbert?

You'll find out.

Would you like to
take another one?

Oh, no, Miss Landers.

I think this'll be fine.

I've got to rush this to
the printer's right away.

He's holding up a whole
page for this picture

of the fifth grade.

Well, thank you very
much, Mr. Baxter.

Class dismissed.

It came out of here.

It's gotta go back in somewhere.

Well, maybe it goes
right in here, Dad.

Well, I wouldn't know, Wally.

Look, I think you'd
better talk to somebody

who knows something
about these things.

Well, I talked to Howie
down at the TV store,

and he worked on a lot
of them during the war.

Well, why don't you
get him to help you?

I was going to, except he
said any dope could fix it.

Oh.

Yeah, well, uh, all right.

Where's that, uh, where's that
diagram that was inside the set?

I think it's right here, Dad.

Oh? Oh, yeah.

Well, then, uh, let's
start from the top

and see if we can't figure
out where we're going wrong.

Okay. Yeah.

Now, this wire comes
across here to this condenser.

Yeah.

And this wire comes up and
under, over to this terminal,

and it grounds here.

Yeah, and, and this
wire comes around here,

and back up through
there, and over, across.

This other batch of wires
goes the reverse way,

and comes under through
there and back over.

Boy, all of this just to
talk to Eddie Haskell.

Hey, Beaver!

Hi, Gilbert.

Boy, are you in a mess!

What are you talking
about, I'm in a mess?

Remember the other day
when we had that picture taken?

Yeah?

Well, when Miss
Landers sees the picture,

that's when you're
gonna be in a mess.

Why?

Because you made
a face. That's why.

Well, you're gonna
be in a mess, too,

because you made a face.

She'd be sore at
me, if I made a face.

You mean, you didn't?

No. What do you
think I am, a chump?

Boy, you said we
were both gonna do it!

That's the only reason I did it.

Beaver, I was just
kidding with you.

I didn't think anybody
was dumb enough

to make a face
in a class picture.

Boy, you know
something, Gilbert?

You're a dirty rat.

I may be a dirty rat,
but I'm not a dumb rat.

Hello, Miss Bruce.

Why, hello, Gilbert.

May I carry one of
your packages for you?

Why, yes, I'd appreciate that.

I'd be happy to.

My, what a fine
little gentleman.

This is just disgraceful,
Miss Landers.

Just disgraceful.

I just can't understand
Theodore doing such a thing.

Did you talk to
the photographer?

Yes. This has already
gone to the printer.

It will have to appear in the
yearbook just the way it is.

Oh, dear.

Well, have you the
Cleavers' number?

Yes, I do, Mrs. Rayburn. I
thought you might want it.

Oh.

I can't remember
anything like this

happening, well,
in all the years.

Well, there was that time when
Eddie Haskell was in school here.

Hello?

This is Mrs. Rayburn
down at the school.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Rayburn.

Yes.

Oh, yes, Mr. Cleaver's here.

He's out in the garage.

If you wait a
moment, I'll call him.

No, uh, please don't bother him.

I'd like to speak
with him in person.

Will you ask him to drop
by my office at the school

as soon as possible?

Yes, of course.

Is there anything I can do?

Is Beaver in any
kind of trouble?

Well, I, I think it would
be better to discuss this

when Mr. Cleaver gets here.

Uh, thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.

Ward? Huh?

Mrs. Rayburn just called.

Beaver's principal?

She wants to see you right away.

Oh? What for?

I don't know. I
tried to ask her,

but she just said she wanted
to talk to you in person.

Sounds like Beaver's
in some sort of trouble.

Did she say what
it was all about?

No, she just said she
wanted to talk to you.

Then he must be in trouble.

Well, where is he?

I'd like to find out
what's going on

before I talk to Mrs. Rayburn.

Honey, he's outside
playing someplace.

Oh.

You know, maybe I'd
better call Mrs. Rayburn

and tell her I'll stop by

on my way to
work in the morning.

It's a little late now.

No, dear. I think
you should do it now.

She's in her office, and it
sounded very important.

Yeah. Well, maybe so.

I just wish Beaver were here.

Why is it he's always
out having a good time

when he gets me
in messes like this?

I'll try to find out what
happened when he gets home.

All right.

Oh, honey!

Honey, would you take this
down to the school with you?

What is it?

Well, it's an order blank
for the picture Beaver was in.

Oh. Yeah, I guess
I could drop it by.

I ordered quite a
few extra copies.

I thought we could
send them to people

like Aunt Martha
and Uncle Billy.

Oh, fine.

I just hope Beaver's not
wearing a hair ribbon this year.

Oh, hi, Beav.

Hi, Wally.

Where you been?

Just around.

What are you doing?

Trying to get
this thing to work.

How come it's
taking you so long?

Well, Dad was helping
me with it for a while.

Oh.

Hey, what kind of trouble
have you got in, anyway?

What are you talking about?

Well, I don't know, but Dad took
off hot-footed down to your school.

Must be something big,

'cause he was wearing
a tie and everything.

Uh-oh.

He must have seen it.

Well, seen what?

My class picture.
I think I ruined it.

You ruined it?

Now, how could one kid
ruin a whole class picture?

By doing this.

Boy, Beaver, I've heard of guys

making faces behind
teachers' backs,

and I've heard of guys
making faces in the classroom,

but you had to go
and make a face

right into the camera.

Why would you do a
dumb thing like that?

An account of I had bad advice.

Bad advice?

Yeah. Well, Gilbert
said he'd make a face,

if I made a face.

So, I made a
face, but he didn't.

Well, you'd better be prepared

because when Dad gets
home, you're really gonna get it.

But, gee, Dad's never
been a hittin' father.

I know, but if he's
ever gonna be one,

this ought to do it.

Yeah.

Maybe I ought to go in
and tell Mom what I did.

You know, she
might soften Dad up,

tell him I'm just a
little kid and all that.

I don't know, Beav.

Sometimes, when you
tell mothers stuff like that,

they start to cry.

Yeah.

Gee, I'd rather be
yelled at than cried at.

Hi, Mom.

Beaver, we've
been looking for you.

Mrs. Rayburn
sent for your father

to come down to the school.

Oh? Do you know why?

I guess she wanted
to talk to him.

I know that.

Do you know why she
wanted to talk to him?

Something pretty bad.

How bad?

It's almost running away bad.

Beaver, what'd you do?

Well, when they
took the class picture,

I made a face and ruined it.

You made a face?

Yeah, like this.

Oh, Beaver, how could you?

Well, I planned to
send those pictures to,

to Aunt Martha and Uncle
Billy and all our relatives.

Beaver, I'm just
so disappointed,

I don't know what to do.

Please don't start crying, Mom.

I'll do anything you want me to.

I'll even kill myself, if
you don't start crying.

You know, Beaver, I just can't
believe you'd do a thing like this.

I just can't believe Theodore
would do a thing like this.

You see, Mr. Cleaver,

he spoiled the
whole class picture.

We really can't
understand it, Mr. Cleaver.

Theodore usually shows a
pretty good sense of responsibility.

Well, he certainly
isn't showing one here.

What makes it so serious

is that the yearbook
has gone to press,

so the picture will have
to go in just this way.

Yes.

Well, I guess it's going to be
quite embarrassing for all of us.

Oh, we're used to boys that
play pranks now and then,

but it's what this
implies, Mr. Cleaver.

It shows the other students

that Theodore has no
respect for his school,

his classmates, that
it's just one big joke.

Oh, I can assure
you, Mrs Rayburn,

when I get home, I'll
make it very clear to him

that this isn't a joke.

And I'm certainly going to
speak to him in class tomorrow.

Well, I'm, I'm
just awfully sorry.

I, uh, I don't know what his
mother's going to think of it.

I'm wondering what the
superintendent of schools

is going to think of us.

Well, Ward, can't the school
just tear up the picture?

Nope.

They're going to have
to print it just as it is.

Well, this family hasn't
moved in a long time.

I guess we'd
better start packing.

Wally, you're not helping.

Oh, I'm sorry, Dad.

Ward, Beaver showed
me the face he made.

How bad was it in the picture?

Well, uh, do you remember

how Happy Hooligan used
to look in the funny papers?

I'm afraid not.

Good, because that's
just who he looks like.

Where is he now?

He's upstairs.

I think he's got
the door locked.

I'm going to go up and have
this out with him right now.

Dear... Dear, don't
be too hard on him.

Now, don't forget.
He's just a little boy.

You know, Mom, Dad doesn't
have to get so steamed up

about the Beaver.

He could just let the school
give him the business.

Well, now, Wally, we
can't turn all of our problems

over to the school.

Your father feels that the
parents should be responsible

for the discipline
of the children.

Yeah.

I guess if a kid's
gonna get hit,

it's better if he gets
hit by his own parents.

Who is it?

Your father.

Father.

Uh-oh.

Come on, son. Open up.

Yes, sir.

Well, Beaver, I just came
from Mrs. Rayburn's office,

and I saw the class picture
they took the other day

with you making the face.

Well, are we going to have
to pay for a new one, Dad?

It's too late for a new one.

It has to go in the
yearbook just the way it is.

Boy, I'm gonna feel real
creepy when it comes out.

Well, Beaver, how do you think

your mother and
I are going to feel,

and Miss Landers,
and Mrs. Rayburn?

They're going to be
embarrassed for the whole school.

And what about the parents of
the other children in your class?

How do you think
they're going to feel

when they see you've
ruined the picture?

Gee, Dad. I thought I was
just gonna get myself in trouble.

Now, it looks like
practically the whole world

is gonna be mad at me.

Well, when you do
something wrong, Beaver,

or break a rule, it can
affect and hurt a lot of people.

Gee, Dad. If I would've known

what was gonna happen
before it happened,

I wouldn't have done it.

What I mean is, I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, that's fine,

but will you please
tell me why you did it?

Well, the guy said
if I made a face,

he'd make a face, and then
when they took the picture,

he didn't make a face.

Well, I'm not surprised.

Why, Dad? Do you know the guy?

No, Beaver, but I do know

that when a person
comes up with a bad idea,

he's usually the first
one to double-cross you.

Well, I thought it'd be neat

if we both made a face together.

It wasn't so neat when he
left you holding the bag, was it?

Well, no, sir.

What are you gonna
do to me, Dad?

Well, first of all, you're
going to apologize

to Miss Landers
and Mrs. Rayburn.

And then I think, I think
you'd better come home

right after school
for the next week,

and don't make any
plans for the weekend.

Gee, Dad. You mean I'm
grounded for a whole week?

That's right.

Boy, Dad.

If this would've happened
about three years ago,

you would've spanked
me, wouldn't you?

Yes, Beaver, I might have,

but I think you're old
enough to reason with now.

Yeah.

I guess, when
you think about it,

one's just as bad as the other.

Eddie.

Eddie, come in.

Over.

Eddie, will you please come in?

Over.

Hi, Wally.

Oh, hi, Beav.

Haven't you got that
thing working yet?

Well, I got some guy
on it a little while ago.

Was it Eddie?

Nah, it was this
exterminator guy.

He was telling
one of his drivers

where to go next and kill bugs.

Oh.

Hey, want to see
my class yearbook?

Well, yeah.

There's our class.

Well, hey, where's
you with the goofy face?

There I am, right
behind Myrtle Jarvis.

Well, what happened?

Well, Mr. Baxter, the
photographer, got an idea.

He painted Myrtle's
hair ribbon bigger,

so it'd cover my goofy face.

Hey, that was
pretty neat of him.

Now your goofy face isn't
crumbing up the whole picture.

Yeah.

But I've been thinking, Wally.

What's gonna happen
when I get kids of my own?

Well, they're gonna come up
to me, and they're gonna say,

"Hey, Beaver, what'd you
look like when you were a kid?"

And I won't have
anything to show them.

Wait a minute, Beaver.

In the first place, your kids
aren't gonna call you Beaver.

No? Well, what'll they call me?

They'll call you Dad. What else?

Boy, if a kid ever
called me Dad,

I'd be so scared, I
wouldn't know what to do.

No, you wouldn't.

You'd probably
feel creepy at first,

but then you'd get used
to it, like our dad did.

Yeah, I guess so.

Hello, Eddie?

Eddie, come in?