Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 3 - Beaver Becomes a Hero - full transcript

[Announcer] Starring...

and...

- Good morning, dear.
- Well, morning.

I thought you were
going to sleep until noon.

I thought I was, too, but
about 7:30 this morning,

someone led a horse
down our front stairs.

- Woke me up.
- No, that was just the boys
going fishing.

I think the noise was when
Beaver dropped your new reel.

He took my new reel?

Yes. You told him he could
use it if he got an A in spelling.

That's right.



He did double-cross me
and get that A, didn't he?

You know, I think
it's so sweet...

Wally and the Beaver
going fishing together,

like they used to when
they were younger.

My older brother
used to take me fishing

when I was about Beaver's age.

He liked to have someone around
to hit in case things went wrong.

Well, if he hit
you, why'd you go?

I don't know. I guess I
must've valued companionship

more than I hated bruises.

Well, I'm glad my
boys aren't like that.

Wally's far too mature
to pick on the Beaver.

Hey, you dumb little creep.

What's the matter now?



Reel your line in.

You didn't put any bait on it.

I just feel like fishing.

I don't feel like
catching anything.

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

- ♪ Jingle all the way ♪
- What are you singing that for?

It's not even anywheres
near Christmas.

I know. I just
like it, that's all.

♪ Oh, what fun it is to... ♪

Pipe down, will you?

And why don't you put
your shoes back on?

What for?

Well, what if somebody
should come along?

I don't want to be
embarrassed by your dirty feet.

Well, I wouldn't have
come along today

if I thought you were
gonna act like Mom and Dad.

Pipe down and have
a good time, huh?

Hey, Wally, what are you
gonna be when you grow up?

Well, after I get
out of high school,

I'm going to college and
become an electrical engineer,

work on missiles.

Boy, you got it all figured out,

and I don't even know
what I'm doing tomorrow.

Hey, Wally, look over there.

Boy, that sure is a
neat-looking canoe.

It must've got loose
from somebody.

Let's go rescue it.

Nah. There might be some
guy sleeping in the bottom of it,

and he'd sit up and hit
you for being a wise guy.

No, there's no one in it.
Come on. Let's go get it.

Hey, why don't
you go in and get it?

You already got your shoes off.

Okay. I'll wade in
and grab the rope.

Are you okay, Beav?

Sure I'm okay.

Boy, look at you.
You're soaking wet.

Yeah.

Wet on the inside, too.

Boy, this sure is a
neat-looking canoe.

Yeah. Maybe an Indian lost it.

Whoever heard of an
Indian with a plastic canoe?

Boy, Wally, maybe
we could take it home,

and then, when we
go on picnics and stuff,

we can put it on top of the car,

and that'll be our canoe.

Stop dreaming, will you, Beaver?

Look, it says "W.J. Watson."

He probably lives around here.

We'll go back to
the picnic grounds.

Maybe we can find
him in the phone book.

You know, Wally, it's
just like finding a dog.

Whenever you find a good
one, he's always got a collar on.

- Thanks a lot, boys.
- That's okay, Mr. Watson.

I guess my daughter
didn't tie it up tight.

- You know how girls are.
- We sure do, Mr. Watson.

You watch the
mail, little fella.

I'm gonna send you
a nice little reward.

Thank you, Mr. Watson.

- Okay.
- [engine starts]

That was a nice guy, Wally.

What do you think he'll send me?

Well, I don't know.

Once when I found
this lady's pocketbook,

she kissed me.

Boy, I'm sure glad
Mr. Watson wasn't a lady.

Come on. We'd better get going.

Boy, Beaver, look at
you. You're soaking wet.

Besides that, you smell.

I smell like what?

Well,

you smell kind of
like my goldfish bowl

when I forget to
change the water.

You think Mom and
Dad will be mad?

Well, if they're
alone, they'll get mad.

If we've got company, they'll
probably just make a big joke out of it.

Boy, I sure hope we
have a lot of company.

Hey, Wally, how come
you're dumping our worms out?

We dug them up in our backyard.

Well, so what?

Gee, they might run into a lot of
strange worms they don't even know.

You think that's
goofy, don't you?

Nah, I guess not.

I guess when I was your age,

I wanted worms to
have a good time, too.

June? You in here?

- Yes, dear.
- I'm leaving.

- What's that?
- Beaver's jeans.

They were tucked
way under the sink.

They're the ones he wore to the
lake yesterday, and they're all wet.

Well, no kid in his
life ever went fishing

without falling in the lake.

Yes, Ward, but how could he
have walked all the way home

with jeans that are soaking wet?

At his age, he probably
never even noticed it.

You don't suppose he
was in any trouble, do you?

Well, maybe. You
know how kids are.

If something good happened,
he wouldn't mention it.

And if something bad happened,

he wouldn't talk
about that, either.

Then this big canoe
came drifting along,

and I went out and rescued it.

- How big a canoe?
- Biggest canoe I ever saw.

How far did you have
to swim out to save it?

Gee, I don't know.

I guess a couple hundred feet.

And this man came along.
He had a real neat speedboat.

The canoe belonged
to his daughter.

And he's gonna send
me a whole big reward.

Wow.

Boy, what an exciting
weekend you had, Beaver.

All I did was ride in a car
to Bellport and get sick.

And then Beaver
swam a whole half a mile

and got to the boat

just before it
went over the falls.

Boy. Who was in
the boat, Harold?

Some rich guy's daughter,
and Beaver saved her life.

I don't believe a
word of that, Harold.

Beaver made up the
whole thing by himself.

That's the whole
story, Miss Landers,

and the man's gonna
send Beaver a big reward

as soon as his daughter
gets out of the hospital

from practically drowning.

Would you plese close the door?

[door closes]

Well, boys and girls,

before we start our
spelling test this morning,

I understand that
Theodore Cleaver

had a very exciting weekend.

Suppose you
tell us a little more

about what happened
up at the lake, Beaver.

Well, you see, there was
this boat drifting along,

and I got it to shore.

It was a speed
boat, I understand.

Well, there was a
speed boat there, but...

He swam a whole
half a mile to save it.

That's about what happened.

Well, you haven't told us
who was in the boat, Beaver.

Who was in the boat?

The girl? Wasn't it her boat?

Oh, yeah. She
didn't tie it up, good.

Her father's a rich
man named Mr. Watson.

Yeah, and he's going to give
Beaver a whole big reward.

Well, that's wonderful, Beaver.

Well, he said he might
send me something in a letter.

My goodness, Beaver, did
you do this all by yourself?

Well, my brother
Wally helped me a little.

Oh. He's a very good
swimmer, too, isn't he?

Oh, yeah. He's a
real good swimmer.

Well, Beaver, I'm delighted

that you're so
modest about this.

And I think it's wonderful

about the reward the
girl's father's giving you

because you've
more than earned it.

And we're all very proud of you.

- Aren't we, class?
- Yes, Miss Landers.

Miss Landers?

Did you want to say
something else, Beaver?

No, Miss Landers.

Yes, Judy?

Don't forget the spelling
test, Miss Landers.

Thank you, Judy.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hello, Wally.

Hey, you got anything
decent in here to eat?

Just good wholesome food.

That's what I thought.

What happened in school today?

Uh, nothing much.

The girl sitting next to me

got hysterics during
a geometry test.

Dear, what did you do?

Well, I made
believe I didn't notice.

Then the teacher
called the school nurse,

and they came and took her away.

Boy, it was really something.

She bawled all the
way to the infirmary.

Oh, Wally, that's terrible.

Oh, well, gee, Mom,

I don't think she really
flipped or anything.

She just doesn't dig geometry.

Well, thanks for the milk, Mom.

[Beaver] Hey, Mom!

Hi, Mom.

Hello there, Beaver.
Here you are.

No, thanks, Mom.

What's the matter?

Didn't you have a good
day in school today?

I guess so. The bell
rang, and we went in,

and then, later on, the
bell rang, and we came out,

and in between we
learned a lot of junk.

You see, Miss Landers?

The Mayfield paper
pays $25 every day

for an interesting news item.

We could stick $25
in the class treasury

if they print that story
about Beaver being a hero.

At the end of the year,

we can have a class
picnic with food, even.

Can't we do it, Miss Landers?

Can't we, please?

They might even put
it in the paper tonight.

Well, I tell you what we'll do.

We'll go down to the office,

and we'll call the newspaper

and see if they're interested.

- Oh, thanks.
- Oh, boy.

But, children, I wouldn't
say anything to Beaver

about this if I were you,

just in case they don't think

it's an interesting
enough article to print.

- All right?
- [Boys] Okay.

- You're late, dear.
- Oh, hi.

I was getting worried.

I was all ready to leave

when Fred Rutherford
came in from his office

and wanted to
chin-chin a little.

I hope that was his
expression, not yours.

Please.

What did Fred want
to chin-chin about?

Well, to tell the truth,

he talked for half an hour,

and I never did find
out what he wanted.

- Both the boys home?
- Beaver is.

Wally went over
to Eddie's to study.

Oh, you must have
that wrong, dear.

No one ever went over
to Eddie Haskell's to study.

Oh, yes, Eddie's getting
down to work this year.

He's going to MIT.

[scoff] Last year,
it was Anapolis.

Well, it seems that
Eddie read someplace

that it takes 20 years
to become an admiral,

so he told Wally the
Navy was for the birds.

How are the headlines?

Terrible.

Well, it's nice to know

nothing's changed
since yesterday.

- Thank you.
- Ahem.

"Local Boy In Lake Rescue."

Oh, that's nice. They're
having a sale at Thornton's.

Hey, this is Beaver.

What's Beaver?

Well, look at this.

"Theodore Cleaver, local
grammar school student,

"made a daring
rescue at Friend's Lake

over the weekend."

"Daughter of wealthy
Willard J. Watson saved.

"Youth assisted
by brother Wally,

well-known high school athlete."

This must have happened Sunday
when they were up at the lake.

How do you like those two?

They never said a word about it.

- Ward, wouldn't you think...
- [phone rings]

Hello.

Oh, hello, Fred.

Fred Rutherford.

Yeah. What's that?

Oh, yes, yes.

I just finished
reading it. [chuckling]

Well, thank you very much, Fred.

Hey, Mom, I'm home.

Wally, your father's
on the phone.

Yeah.

Well, no, as a
matter of fact, Fred,

neither of them
said a word about it.

Uh, listen, excuse me, Fred.

One of our, uh,
heroes just walked in.

Hi, Wally.

Uh, hi, Dad.

Yes. Well, I'll certainly
tell them, Fred.

Wally, why didn't you tell us
what happened up at the lake?

Well...

Well, gee, Mom, the Beaver
thought you'd yell at him.

Yell at him?

Why, we'd have
been proud of him.

For getting his pants wet?

Oh, Wally, look.

Oh, yes, yes, of course, Fred.

I'm sure that under the
same circumstances,

your boy Clarence would
have done the same thing.

Well, Beaver just
happened to be there.

[chuckle] Yeah.

Yes.

Oh, yes, of course, Fred.

I've noticed how Lumpy
is built like Burt Lancaster.

Excuse me, Mom.

Yes. Well, I'll certainly
tell them, Fred,

and I appreciate your calling.

Yeah. Good-bye.

[footsteps retreating]

- Where'd Wally go?
- Upstairs.

How do you like those two?

Not saying a word about
it. Not a single word.

You know, Ward, it
really isn't like the Beaver

- not to say anything.
- [phone rings]

You know, I mean... Hello.

Yes.

Long distance from Belport.

Your Aunt Martha
must have read about it

in the paper up there.

What's the matter
with you, Beaver?

Are you some kind of
a kook or something?

Gee.

What's the matter?

They spelled my name wrong.

Beaver, forget your name.

How could you have done this?

How could you have
made it into a speed boat,

and how could
you put a girl in it?

And how could you
make her father a rich guy?

Gee, Wally, I didn't
make all that up.

The guys in class
made it up for me.

Beaver, you not only
got yourself in a mess,

you got the whole
family in a mess.

You got me in the paper,

and Dad's downstairs right now

bragging about what
a big hero you are.

Gee, Wally, what
am I going to do?

You're going to go down,

and you're going to tell Dad

that that's a whole
lot of made-up junk.

That's what you're going to do.

Well, no, I'm not.

I'm just going to run away,

and there'll be a storm,

and I'll get hit by lightning.

Beaver, you can't
get out of it that easy.

You get on
downstairs and tell Dad.

Well... Well, okay.

But I'd sure rather
be hit by lightning.

And I had to be a nice guy
and take him fishing with me.

"Theodore Cleaver."

Well, Aunt Martha, we were
just as surprised as you are.

No, he never mentioned a word.

What's that?

She says "Isn't that
just like a Bronson?"

Yeah. Well, thank you
very much, Aunt Martha.

I'll tell him how
thrilled you are.

And we appreciate you calling.

Yeah. Good-bye.

Here he is.

Well, Beaver.

Sounds like you really had a
busy day up at the lake Sunday.

Yes, sir, but I think I'm going
to have a busier day tonight.

Why? What's wrong, Beaver?

There's so much wrong, I
don't know where to start.

Well, is it something

about the article in the paper?

Boy, oh, boy.

Why, Beaver.

First of all, it was
no speed boat.

It was a canoe.

And there was no girl in it,

and she didn't
have a rich father.

Well, Beaver, you mean to
say all of this was just made up?

Yeah, Dad.

All except for me and
Wally and the canoe.

Well, then where did the
story come from, Beaver?

Well, you see, I told
some of the guys at school

what happened up at the lake,

and they told some other
guys, and they made it better,

and somebody told Miss Landers,

and she put more stuff in it,

and all of a sudden,

I rescued a girl and everything.

Well, Beaver, if
it wasn't true, son,

why did you let it go so far?

I don't know, Dad.

I guess because I
never heard myself

in such a neat story before.

Well, Beaver,

you know you have to do
something about this, don't you?

Yeah, Dad.

I guess this is
one of those things

that just won't go away.

Nope.

Beaver.

Beaver, would you like
me to call Miss Landers

and explain how
you got carried away?

No, Mom. I'll do it myself.

That's not the kind of thing
a hero's mother should do,

even if he's not a hero.

Good morning, dear.

Good morning.

- Good morning, Wally.
- Hi, Dad.

Well, where's the Beaver?

He had breakfast
and left for school

- a long while ago.
- Oh.

Yeah. He got up real early
and practiced his speech

on telling the
class he's a liar.

Yeah. He's got it
down pretty good.

He can probably get
through without cracking up.

Eggs are good, Mom.

I didn't realize
he was that upset.

Well, gee, Mom,

how would you like it if
your parents made you

get up in front of
the whole school

and admit you were a creep?

Wally, we did no such thing.

It was Beaver's own decision.

Yeah, but it was one
of those decisions

a kid makes for himself

when his parents are
standing there screaming at him.

Neither your mother
nor I screamed at him.

Well, yeah, but if he'd have
decided to stick to that story,

you'd have really
sailed into him.

Why, Wally, I even offered
to call Miss Landers up

and help him out
of this whole thing.

Gee, Mom, when a guy
goofs up something real bad,

he might want
his parents to help,

but the last thing he'd
do would be to admit it.

Well, uh, can I be excused now?

I've got some
homework to finish.

Yeah, Wally.

What are we going to do, Ward?

As soon as Wally's gone,

I'm going to go in and
phone Miss Landers

and see if I can't pave
the way for Beaver.

I'm glad, Ward.

Would you father have
done the same thing for you?

Never in a million years.

That's why I'm going
to do it for Beaver.

Well, then the man came
along in the speed boat

and took the canoe back,

and he might send me
something in the mail.

And my brother and I
went home. Thank you.

Well, now that Theodore has
told us the true story, class,

what do you think we should do?

Yes, Judy?

I think we should
call up the newspaper

and have them print
on the front page

that Theodore
Cleaver's a big liar.

We're not going to
do that at all, Judy.

I would suggest that we
write a letter to the newspaper

and tell them the whole story

about how it was a
little story about a canoe

and then Beaver's classmates
built it into a big story

about a speed boat
and a drowning girl

and how in the end

a boy stood up
in front of his class

and told the truth.

Perhaps the newspaper will
think Theodore a bigger hero

than they thought he was.

Don't you all think that's
the right thing to do?

Yes, Miss Landers.

Fine.

- [bell rings]
- Class dismissed.

Hey, you think
the paper will print

what Miss Landers said, Beaver?

I hope not, Whitey.

I don't think I could
take being a hero

twice in the same week.

- Hi, dear.
- Hi.

You're home early.

Yeah. Well, uh, I
was a little worried

about how Beaver
made out in school today.

He came home happy.

I think Miss Landers
handled it very well.

Oh, good.

Anyone mention
the incident to you

down at the office?

Oh, yeah, yeah. A
couple of the fellas.

Of course, Fred Rutherford
had to rub it in a little.

Yes, I suppose he would.

I slowed him down, though.

I reminded him of the time

his boy Lumpy had
his picture in the paper.

I don't remember that.

Oh, sure. Lumpy was
about 10 at the time, I guess.

Don't you remember
down at the State Fair

he got lost and they printed
quite a picture of him?

He was in a playpen
with five 6-year-olds

crying for his daddy.

Oh, incidentally,

that Mr. Watson
that owns the canoe

sent Beaver a letter today.

He's upstairs with it now.

Well, I hope he's not suing us.

"And I am enclosing $5.00
for recovery of my canoe.

"I hope you won't reveal this,

"as it might hurt my
newly acquired reputation

"as a millionaire.

"My 11-year-old daughter
would like to thank you

"for making her the object

"of considerable
attention at school

"and is looking forward

"to someday meeting her rescuer.

Yours very truly, W.J. Watson."

You think the guy's giving
me the business, Wally?

Well, sure he's giving
you the business,

but he's giving you $5.00, too.

You know, once I read

where this guy rescued
this girl from drowning,

and she married him.

Boy, I'm glad I rescued a girl

who was too young
to get married.

You didn't rescue
anybody, you goof.

Oh, yeah. That's
right, isn't it?

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