Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 29 - Wally's Dream Girl - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Aren't the boys a little late
getting down this morning?

Uh-huh.

Do you want me to go out
in the hall and call them?

No, let's give them
another minute.

Then we'll call them.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Well, there you are, Beaver.

I was about ready to call you.

Yeah, I figured this morning



I'd get down before you
started yelling for me.

Well, Beaver Cleaver,
just look at yourself!

Why? I've seen myself before.

Why, Beaver, look at your hair.

It isn't combed.

Your shoelaces are untied,

and your shirt's all
buttoned crooked.

You look like you just
threw your clothes on.

Well, sure, Dad.

I wanted to get down here

before you started
yelling for me.

You'd better go back
and get cleaned up.

Well, dear, if he does that,

he won't have
time for breakfast.



Well, all right.

He can get cleaned
up after breakfast, then.

Well, if I do that,
I'll miss my bus.

All right. If you're determined

to go to school looking messy,

you can just go to
school looking messy.

Gee, thanks, Dad!

You're in a good
mood this morning.

Good morning, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Hello, Wally.

Well, Wally!

Don't you look
nice this morning?

Yeah, you look like a
very distinguished member

of the junior class.

To me, it looks like
he's cracking up.

Well, I'd better get going.

Wally, what do you have on?

Well, gee, Dad, just
my shirt and my tie

and my underwear and stuff.

Dad means how come
you smell that way?

Oh, well, I, um,
I kind of put on

some of your old
aftershave lotion.

It must have been real
old aftershave lotion.

Never mind, Beaver.

Nothing wrong with Wally's
taking pride in his appearance.

Ward... Excuse me.

You know something,
Beaver? You're a slob.

I know it.

Okay, just as long
as you know it.

What do you
suppose Wally's up to?

Huh?

Wearing a jacket
and a tie to school

and using aftershave lotion.

Well, in my day,

things like that added
up to Loretta Mish.

What's a Loretta Mish?

Oh, she was just the
darling of Shaker Heights.

That's what she was.

Then you think
Wally's doing all this

because of a girl?

Well, I don't think he's
getting all dressed up

to impress the gym coach.

Well, what are you made up for?

Oh, what do you mean, Eddie?

Well, look at you. You
look like Tony Curtis.

You smell like a floor walker.

What's up?

Listen, can't a guy just
hang around in the hall

without you making
a big deal about it?

Well, sure. Well,
who is she, lover boy?

Look, Eddie. If I tell you,

you promise you won't
go blabbing it around?

Who, me? You're
talking to Big Daddy,

who knows all and says nothing.

Well, it's Jenny Townsend.

Ah, you mean that senior
transfer student from Indianapolis.

Yeah, that's her.

She comes by here every morning

on the way to her history class.

Ah, you're gonna nail
her for a date, huh?

Gee, no, Eddie. She
doesn't even know I'm alive.

Here she comes.

Let's, uh, let's just make like
we're hanging around here.

Okay, I'm with you, Jack.

Hi.

Oh, hi there.

Boy!

So she's a knockout. So what?

Boy, Eddie.

There goes just about
the most beautiful girl

I've ever seen in my whole life.

Okay, okay. So, she's beautiful.

So, she's a dream walking.

So, there she goes,

and here you stand with
your mouth hanging open.

Well, look, why didn't you
just go up and talk to her?

Eddie, you don't just go up

and talk to a girl
like Jenny Townsend.

Well, then what's the
percentage just standing around

watching her go into
history class every day?

I don't know. I, I just
like to look at her like,

like some people like to look
at Mona Lisa or something.

You'd better have a serious
talk with your counselor.

Aw, cut it out, Eddie.

You sure are quiet tonight.

I hadn't noticed.

Something on your mind?

Well, of course not.
Why would you ask that?

Oh, I don't know.

How well did you
know Loretta Mish?

Who?

The darling of Shaker Heights.

Oh.

Oh, she was just a
girl I had a crush on.

Her father had a
Hupmobile agency.

Well, I think it was
very inconsiderate of you

to go and have a
crush on some girl

before you met me.

Yeah, I guess it was.
I'll never do it again.

♪♪

Is that the television set?

Can't be.

They only let them play
good music on Sundays.

♪♪

Oh, it's you, Wally!

Oh, hi, Mom.

Uh, I was, I was just kind of
goofing around with the hi-fi.

Very pretty, isn't it?

Yeah, I guess so.

Uh, I didn't buy
it. I was just, uh,

I just saw it hanging
around there in the cabinet,

so I thought I'd play it.

"Love Themes from
Famous Operas."

Oh. Oh, is that what it is?

Well, I, uh, I guess
I've heard enough of it.

Wally.

Do you want me, Mom?

Um, Wally, is there anything
that you ought to, well...

Well, what I mean to
say is, is there anything

that you want to
talk to me about?

Well, gee, Mom,
not that I know of.

Well, you know, if
anything's bothering you...

Well, what I mean
to say is, uh, if, uh...

Well, you and I can talk about
just about anything, can't we?

Well, yeah, Mom.
Yeah, I guess so.

Well?

Well, uh... well, I...

Uh, I guess I'd better
go do my homework now.

Uh, if I think of anything that,

that I want to
talk to you about,

I'll let you know.

Well, what happened
to the music?

Ward, sit down a
minute. I'm worried.

Oh, you want me
to be worried, too.

I want you to tell me
that Wally's all right.

He was listening to love themes.

Well, sure he's all right.

He's in the throes
of a grand passion.

Oh, a grand passion.
He's 16 years old!

Aw, that's when
it's the grandest.

But Wally's dated before,

and he's always told us
about who he was dating.

Look, dear, do you think

I would've told my
folks about Loretta Mish?

Not on your life.

Probably because Loretta
Mish was the wrong sort.

Well, of course she wasn't.

I told you, her father
sold Hupmobiles.

Ward, if Wally thinks that
he's in love with this girl,

and she is the wrong sort,

and that's why
he's not telling us,

well then... well, I just
don't want him to be hurt.

Well, dear, he may get
hurt, but I really don't think

you should try and
do anything about it.

You know, after
all, love just...

Well, it just isn't something

you can run and
put a band-aid on.

Hey, Wally.

Will you help me with
this problem in arithmetic?

Okay.

If a farmer gets
two bushels of wheat

from every ten square
feet, and he has 20 acres,

how many bushels
of wheat would he get?

Wally?

Yeah?

How do you do the problem?

What problem?

About the bushels of wheat.

Oh.

Uh, well, I think you change
the acres into square feet

and divide or something.

What's the matter
with you, Wally?

What do you mean
what's the matter with me?

Well, you look like that time

you ate all those
rotten eclairs.

No, I'm all right. It's nothing.

I'll say it's
nothing. It's a girl.

Well, what do you know about it?

I heard Mom talking
to Dad about it

when you came home.

You should not listen
when they're talking.

What'd they say?

Well, Mom said you
had a crush on a girl,

and she wished
she knew who it was,

and Dad said he had to buy
some more shaving lotion.

And then, just as
things got good,

they shut the door.

Boy, how did they
find out all that stuff?

I never said anything to them.

Gee, Wally. I don't know.

How'd they find out last summer

when I didn't change my
socks for a whole week?

Yeah.

You know, that makes
a guy feel creepy.

Yeah.

Have you really got a
crush on a girl, Wally?

Well, look. If I tell
ya, you won't go

telling all your grubby
little friends, will ya?

Listen, if I start
talking girls to them,

they'd start laughing
and making sick noises.

Who is she, Wally?

Well, it's Jenny Townsend.

But she's more than just a girl.

How can a girl be
more than just a girl?

Well, she's a senior, and
she just moved into town.

She's, well, she's
really something.

She's 17 years old,

and she's just about
the most beautiful girl

I've ever seen in my whole life.

Ah, that's a lot of mush.

Oh, yeah?

Do you remember when
you saw that picture,

"Snow White and
the Seven Dwarfs,"

and you went ape
over that Snow White?

Yeah, but she was really neat.

Okay. Well, how'd you feel

when Prince Charming
came along and kissed her?

I could've knocked
him right off his horse.

There, see?

Yeah, but Snow White,
well, she wasn't really real.

Well, sometimes, I don't
think Jenny's really real either.

She walks around, doesn't she?

Yeah.

And she eats, doesn't she?

Yeah.

And she can talk, can't she?

Yeah.

All right, then she's real.

Did everything go all right
at school today, Beaver?

Gee, Mom, I never know
until report cards come out.

What are you doing
with all the picnic junk?

Well, we're going
on a picnic tomorrow

up at Friend's Lake.

Don't you remember your
father promised us last week?

Oh, yeah. Is Wally going?

Of course.

Oh.

I thought maybe he'd
rather hang around here

and look at that Jenny Townsend.

Who's Jenny Townsend?

Oh, she's just a girl. I
wasn't supposed to tell you.

Oh.

Well, she must be the
girl Wally has the crush on,

the one he's getting
all dressed up for,

and mooning over.

Yeah.

I guess he's
doing all that stuff.

But he hasn't even
talked to her yet,

and he says she doesn't
even know he's alive.

Well, the poor dear.

How come he's a poor dear

just because a creepy
girl won't speak to him?

Jenny Townsend?

Didn't her parents just
move here from Indianapolis?

Yeah, I think one
of those states.

For goodness sakes,
I met her mother

at the bridge
club the other day,

and she's a very
nice woman, too.

Isn't that a coincidence?

Search me, Mom.

I don't know
what it's all about.

Hello, Information?

Could you give me
the phone number

of a Mrs. Charles Townsend?

I think it'll be a new number.

They just moved into town.

You mean you called
this Jenny Townsend up

and asked her to go on
the picnic with us tomorrow?

Yes, and her mother
is just delighted.

They're new in town, and
this will be her first date.

Hm. Does, uh, does
Wally know about this?

Well, no. He isn't home yet.

You know, I thought we
agreed to keep hands off here.

Well, honey, I thought
if he was too shy

to speak to her himself,
the least we could do

is just try to help him out.

Well, I think you're
making a mistake.

Well, how can it be a mistake
to ask the girl on a picnic?

She and Wally go
to school together.

Well, dear, she seems
to be Wally's dream girl.

And, uh, dream girls
just don't go on picnics

with the family, or
brush their teeth,

or put their hair
up in pin curls, or...

Is that the way you
felt about Loretta Mish?

Yeah. Yeah, in a way,
you could say that I, uh,

I sort of worshipped her.

Hmph. Then, one
Sunday, I went to call on her

and got there a little early.

Found her out on the back porch
with her mother, cleaning fish.

Somehow, things were
never the same after that.

Ward, are you
making all that up?

Well, of course not, dear.

You have to clean fish
before you can cook 'em.

Oh. Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Uh, how come you're
looking at me so funny?

Well, I, uh, I guess your mother's
just real glad to see you, Wally.

Oh.

Wally, I have a
surprise for you.

I, um, I just happened to
be talking to Mrs. Townsend

on the phone today,

and she was telling me
how her daughter, Jenny,

hasn't met any young
people yet; socially, that is.

So, I suggested that she come
along on the picnic with us tomorrow.

Um, Jenny Townsend?

Yes, I thought that... Well,
you know her, don't you?

Well, um, she's a
new girl in school.

Um, I've sort of heard of her.

Well, I'm sure we'll all have
a wonderful time tomorrow.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure, Mom.

Well, I, uh, I think
I've gotta go up

and clean my teeth
now or something.

He didn't have very
much to say, did he?

Caesar didn't have very much
to say to Brutus either, did he?

Ward!

Uh, hey, Wally!
You all right in there?

Yeah. I thought I was
gonna get sick, but I couldn't.

Okay.

Beaver, if you didn't
blab about Jenny,

then how come Mom just happened to
be on the phone with Mrs. Townsend?

Well, like you said, Wally,

they know all kinds
of stuff about us.

Boy, inviting
Jenny to the picnic

is just about the dirtiest
trick Mom's ever done to me.

Boy, what am I gonna say to her?

To Mom?

No, dopey, to
Jenny on the picnic.

Well, you could ask what
part of the chicken she likes.

White meat or the drumstick?

Beaver, I couldn't ask
her a thing like that.

Why, why, a girl like Jenny

probably doesn't even
know a chicken has parts.

Why don't you
just come right out

and tell her you're
in love with her?

You gotta go try again, Wally?

Oh, dry up!

Hey, Mom.

How come you
made me sit up here?

Shh.

But I'm not interrupting.
They're not talking.

But they might.

Uh, Jenny, do you think
you're gonna like it here?

Oh, yes, Mr. Cleaver. Loads.

Wally threw up last night.

Beaver.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Wally, would you mind
putting the window up, please?

It's absolutely
blowing my hair to bits.

Hey, Jenny.

Yes, Beaver.

You've got a bruise on your leg.

Look at it, Wally.

Beaver, will you turn around?

Isn't it disgusting
how long bruises last?

See, when we were moving
in, I, I was up on a ladder,

putting away some pots and
pans, and, well, clumsy me.

Isn't it terrible, Wally?

Yeah. Yeah, it's a mess.

I mean, yeah. Yeah,
it's terrible all right.

Togetherness.

Uh, what part of the
chicken do you like?

The white meat or the drumstick?

I mean, if I'm not
being too personal.

Isn't it terrible? Neither one.

I have a chicken
allergy. I break out.

Beaver, don't eat so fast!

Gee, Dad. I thought
we were on a picnic.

Boy, Mom.

This is the best fried
chicken you ever fried.

Well, thank you, Wally.

At least you could
have a stuffed egg,

couldn't you, Jenny?

Thank you, Mrs. Cleaver,

but I'm afraid I'll
have to decline.

I've gained two whole pounds
since we've moved here!

Well, if you get
down to 125 pounds,

you can go out for
the junior varsity.

I don't think Jenny's
interested in going out

for the football team, Beaver.

No, I think girls
are more interested

in football players
than they are in football.

Gee, Dad. Cut it out, huh?

Look, why don't the four of
you go and play volleyball?

I'll clean up here.

Okay. Okay.

Come on, gang.

Oh, oh, I'm afraid I can't
so soon after we've eaten.

And besides, well, the sun.

What have you
got against the sun?

Well, I have an
allergy to sunlight.

Oh, well, that's a shame.

Yes. Once I made the mistake

of going into the municipal
pool in Indianapolis,

and that night, I just
swelled up all over,

great big lumps all over me!

Can't you do
anything that's fun?

Well, I'm making a
tabletop out of mosaic tiles.

What for?

For my mother.

You call that fun?

You go ahead.

I'll sit here in the
shade with Mrs. Cleaver.

Uh, okay.

Well, uh, I'll be
seeing you, Jenny.

I'll be seeing you, Wally.

Boy, there's
nothing I like better

than three guys
playing volleyball.

Some picnic.

Well, it was kind
of a mess, wasn't it?

I could just cry.

Well, honey, you gave it
the good old college try.

Oh, I should've listened to you.

I never should've
tried to butt in.

Oh, honey, did you see his face

when she was going on
about her chicken allergy,

and her delicate stomach,
and the lumps all over her?

Yep.

The dream just
rolled over and died.

Well, at least some good
came out of this mess.

Yeah, I learned to play
three-handed volleyball.

I mean, I learned something.

When they get to be Wally's age,

they're not like checkers.

No. You have to stop
making the moves for them.

You know, that's something
a lot of mothers never learn.

Uh, Mom, I, uh, I just
wanted to thank you for,

well, for everything.

Wally, I'm sorry.

Well, gee, Mom. What for?

Oh, for trying to run
interference for you.

Oh, you mean, like asking
Jenny along on the picnic?

Like asking Jenny
along on the picnic.

Well, to tell you
the truth, Mom,

I'm sort of glad you did.

You are?

Yeah.

Why?

Well, it's kind of
hard to explain,

but, well, you see, if you
hadn't have asked her,

and if, if I hadn't had
got to know her, well,

I could've gone on
the rest of my life

thinking she was
the absolute most.

You know, Wally, Jenny
is a very good-looking girl.

Yeah, but, well, I... I
guess there's a lot more to it

than just being good-looking.

Wally, you know, I think
you're a very nice young man.

Well, gee, Mom.

It's real nice of
you to think that,

but, well, I... I wish you wouldn't
go around saying it out loud.

All right, Wally.

Well, goodnight,
Mom. Goodnight, Dad.

Goodnight, son.

You think he's really
gotten over her?

Uh-huh. Someday, Jenny Townsend

will be just a name
out of the past.

Just a name to annoy his wife
with at appropriate moments.

Hi, ya, Sam.

Oh, hi, Eddie.

Hey, you want to
go over to the gym

and shoot some baskets
before we go home?

Hey, what do you mean?

Aren't you gonna mope around

and watch for Jenny Townsend
to come out of trignometry?

- Gee, why would I do that?
- I don't know.

You've been doing it
for two weeks, though.

I thought she was
your dream girl.

Well, she was, sort of.

Let's face it, Eddie.

Who wants a sunburned
allergic dream girl with lumps?