Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 25 - Wally and Dudley - full transcript
Ruth McMillan, who was June's bridesmaid, has just moved into the neighborhood with her family. Her son, Dudley, is Wally's age and will be attending the same school, so June would like Wally to show Dudley around. Wally reluctantly agrees, his reluctance because he has never met Dudley and doesn't know what kind of guy he is. Despite Dudley being a nice guy, he and Wally end up having nothing in common, Wally who considers Dudley "different". Dudley wears a suit, tie, overcoat and hat as his regular attire, plays flute in the band, is overly polite even to his peers, and is scared of girls. Eddie and Lumpy can't help but slyly give Dudley the business. In fact, Eddie invites Dudley to Christine Staples' upcoming party just because he knows the other kids will make fun of him. Although Wally doesn't condone Eddie's prank, Wally feels Dudley brings many of these problems onto himself. But based on advice from Ward, Wally ends up being Dudley's "Henry Higgins". Can Wally or someone or something else bring out Dudley's inner social butterfly by the time of Christine's party?
Starring...
and...
Ruth McMillan.
Okay.
Who's Ruth McMillan?
Honey, I've talked about
her a thousand times.
We went to school together.
Come on, honey. She's waiting.
Hello, Ruth.
Ward.
Yes, well, it's very
nice talking to you too.
Yes. Yes. We must be sure
and do that sometime soon.
Yes, well, here's June.
Hello, Ruth?
Yes, I guess they're all
tired when they get home.
Well, now look, you tell Dudley
that Wally'll be looking
forward to seeing him.
Bye.
June, don't ever hand me a phone
and tell me to talk to
a complete stranger.
It's like having
someone walk in on you
while you're taking a shower.
Well, you know Ruth.
She was my bridesmaid.
She and Ralph have just
moved into the neighborhood.
And her boy and Wally will be
going to the same school together.
- Well, that's fine.
- Yes. So I told her
to have Dudley stop
by in the morning.
Wally would walk
to school with him
and introduce him around.
What's the matter?
Well, nothing, I guess.
I just hope that's the
way they do it nowadays.
What do you mean?
Well, if I remember correctly,
a new boy is supposed
to go to a new school
for several weeks
and sort of be ignored,
then finally, he
gets tired of that
and in order to
attract attention,
he starts talking
about his old school,
and then somebody
tells him to knock it off
and he's made his first friend.
Ward, that's cruel.
Maybe.
We boys wouldn't have
had it any other way.
Oh, hi, Beav.
Hi, Dad.
Well, come here a minute.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Yes, sir.
Do you mind if we don't
talk about it right now?
Well, no, of course not, Beav.
Dad.
Yeah?
Is a soprano a lady singer?
Yeah. A soprano is a
girl with a high voice.
Then how come boys
can be sopranos too?
Well, most boys have high voices
until the age of 13 or so. Why?
That's the part I don't
want to talk about.
Come on now, Beaver,
you can level with me.
I'm your father.
Well, Mr. Willard,
our music teacher,
started up a chorus today,
and it's got girls and boys in it
and there are not enough
creepy girls to sing soprano,
so Mr. Willard made me and
Harry sit and sing with them.
Oh, I see.
Well, that's not so bad.
Gee, Dad, how would
you like to be singing
"The Blue Bells of Scotland"
right in the middle of a
whole bunch of smelly girls?
Yeah, well, did you ask
Mr. Willard to change you?
Yeah, but he said he was sure
I didn't want to
be a rotten citizen.
Well, at least you have
Harry to share this thing with.
No, I don't. He's home right now
trying to think of
something terrible enough
to get him expelled.
Oh, I'll get that, Mrs. Cleaver.
Oh, well, thank you, Eddie.
It's that middle one.
Oh, Wally... Wally,
I have something
I want to discuss with
you a little bit later.
Well, gee, Mom, we
better discuss it now.
'Cause Lumpy Rutherford just
got a new set of old tires for his car.
We're gonna go over
and take a look at them.
Wally, you're not gonna ride
around in that old wreck, are you?
Well, gee, no, Mom.
He's only had it a
couple of months.
He can't even get
the motor started yet.
Oh, thank you, Eddie.
It's no trouble at
all, Mrs. Cleaver.
Well, Wally, an
old friend of mine
has just moved into
the neighborhood,
a girl I went to school with.
I know, Mom. And she's
got a homely daughter,
and you want me to
take her to a dance.
She doesn't have
a daughter at all.
Ruth has a son.
He's about your age.
His name is Dudley.
- Dudley?
- Uh-huh. Dudley McMillan,
and he's gonna stop
by here in the morning.
What for, Mom?
Well, I told his mother
that if he stopped by,
you'd walk him to school and
introduce him to your friends.
Gee, Mom. How come?
Oh, Wally, now, you know,
it's very hard to be the
new boy or girl at school.
I'd be glad to help Wally
introduce your friend's son
around school, Mrs. Cleaver.
Well, thank you, Eddie.
There's a wonderful bunch
of fellows in the gym club
that just love to
meet new people.
Well, that's fine.
Well, Wally?
Well, it's okay, I guess.
Good. Dudley will be here
about a quarter of
eight in the morning.
Boy, your mother
sure got her nerve
sticking you with
this Dudley creep.
Gee, I don't know, Eddie.
I mean, he might not be so bad.
Hey, you want a hunk of milk?
No. I don't want a hunk of milk.
Well listen, I know the picture
with a guy like this Dudley.
He'll start hanging around,
and the first thing you know,
he'd be telling everybody
he's your cousin or something.
Well, gee, Eddie,
what are you making
such a big deal out of it for?
Well, I'm just saying that if a
guy already has a best friend,
well, what does he want to
go picking up new creeps for?
Ah, come on, Eddie.
Gee, Beaver, you don't
have to get sore at your socks
just 'cause you
have to sing soprano.
Pipe down, will you, Wally?
Oh, good morning, boys.
Oh, hi, Dad.
Oh, Beaver, you
can't go to school
with a big hole in
your sock like that.
Okay, then I won't go at all.
He's been griping all morning
about singing in the chorus.
Well, Beaver, you just
go on to school today
and do the best you can,
no matter what part you
have to sing in the chorus.
Yes, sir.
You know, uh, hey only have
chorus practice once a week
so he won't have to be a lady
singer again until next Tuesday.
Now, you know you're
not helping much, Wally.
Say, your mother wants you
downstairs early this morning
so you'll be there
when Dudley arrives.
Yes, sir.
Dad?
Yes, Wally?
Um, have you ever
seen this Dudley guy?
Well, no.
But your mother says
he's a fine upstanding boy.
Gee, Wally. He's a creep.
Beaver, there's no reason
for you to assume that.
Well, Dudley, how
nice to see you.
Come on in.
I'm Mrs. Cleaver.
Yes, I know. How are you, ma'am?
Fine. Come on.
Well, my goodness, Dudley.
You know, the
last time I saw you,
you were just about that high.
A long time ago.
Hey, look, Dad, he's
wearing an overcoat.
Ward, this is Dudley McMillan.
Oh, hello, Dudley.
Hello.
Wally, come and meet Dudley.
Oh, hi. How are you?
Pretty good.
Well, you boys can't know
what this means to
Dudley's mother and to me.
Well, we used to talk about
having sons go to school together
when we were little
girls playing with dolls.
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, say, Dud, why don't
you leave the hat here today?
I don't think there's
a chance of rain.
Okay.
Well, now, if Ruth
asked him to wear a hat,
she had a good reason.
And anyway, I think it
looks very nice on him.
Oh, hi, Beav. Hi.
Come in and say hi to Dudley.
Hi.
Hello.
Who died?
Nobody died.
Fellas, you'd better
get started to school
or you're going to be late.
Nice to meet you.
You don't want to
be late the first day.
Have a good day.
All right, Dud.
Bye, bye, Wally.
So long, fellas.
Oh, Ward, you know,
it may sound silly
but that was a very
nice moment for me.
Yeah, I know, dear.
And I'm afraid you're all alone.
Um, we could go to school
down Filbert Street, if you want to.
This street's okay...
unless you want to
walk down Filbert Street.
No. No, this street's okay.
Do you know where
Filbert Street is?
Uh-uh.
It's the next street over.
Oh.
It sounds like a
nice street too.
Yeah, they named it after
this guy named Filbert.
He croaked.
Hey, what kind of creep
is this creep supposed
to be anyhow?
I don't know, Lumpy.
He's just some kid
that's leaching onto Wally
just because his mother used
to play dolls with Mrs. Cleaver.
Hey, here they come.
Well, how do you like that?
Wally's made friends
with Lord Beaverbrook.
Hey, maybe he's
wearing that goofy outfit
so you'll say something
and he'll slug you.
Hi, Wally.
Hi, Wally.
Hi, guys.
This is Dudley McMillan.
That's Eddie, and that's Lumpy.
Hi, Dudley.
Hi.
Hi, Dud.
Hello.
Where did you
used to go to school?
Buchanan High.
Hey, that's a super school.
Yeah.
You guys had the best
girls' volleyball team
in the league last year.
We did?
Did you go out
for anything, Dud?
Well, I went out for football
but I got my finger stepped
on in the first scrimmage,
so my mother made me quit.
Well, listen, I got my
hair pulled in basketball,
and my mother made me quit.
It wasn't that I was afraid
of getting hurt or anything.
It's just that, well, it's kind
of hard to play the flute
with busted fingers.
Come on, guys, let's get going.
You want to stand
on the corner all day?
Well, wait a minute.
Tell me something, Dud.
You don't mind if I
call you Dud, do you?
Gee, no.
Thanks a lot, Eddie.
How can you
smooch with the girls
if you've got tough lips
from playing the flute?
Come on. Let's get going.
- We're gonna be late.
- Hey, wait.
Hey, make sure you get
one of the tall thin lockers
instead of one of
the short fat ones.
Oh, you mean, they
have different kinds?
Well, sure.
The tall thin ones are for
the kids that have overcoats
so they can hang them up.
Yeah, and they got this little
kind of a box thing for hats.
Come on, let's go.
Thank you, dear.
Come in.
Good afternoon, Mrs.
Cleaver, Mr. Cleaver.
Hello, Eddie.
By the way, I helped Wally
introduce your friend's
son around school.
A lot of people know him now.
Well, that was very
nice of you, Eddie.
It's quite all right,
Mrs. Cleaver.
I always try to put myself
in another person's position.
Is Wally home?
Yes. He's up in his room.
Thank you.
You're looking very
well, Mr. Cleaver.
Thank you, Eddie.
Well, that was
very nice of Eddie.
Yes, wasn't it?
You say that as if you
mean just the opposite.
I do, dear.
Hey, Beav, is Harry still
gonna try to get himself expelled
so he won't have to sing
soprano in the chorus?
Yeah. But he's gonna wait
till after report cards come out
just so he can see
what he got in arithmetic.
Hey, Wally, don't say I
never did anything for you.
What?
You're gonna flip.
You're moving away, Eddie?
No, pipe down, squirt.
Listen, I invited old Dud
to Christine Staple's party.
Gee, Eddie, why did you
have to go and do that for?
Well, your mother wants him
to meet people, doesn't she?
Well, sure.
But you just invited
him to that party
so you can get
everybody to laugh at him.
Well, what's wrong
with a few laughs?
I just thought I'd drop
by and let you know.
Now give my regards to old tough
lips McMillan when you see him.
Wally?
Yeah, what?
Promise me one thing, will you?
Well, sure. What?
Promise me you'll never
tell Eddie I'm singing soprano.
Oh, don't worry, Beav, I won't.
You see, the thing is, Dad,
that Eddie just invited
Dudley to the party
so that he could
give him the business
in front of everybody.
Well, if that's
the truth, Wally,
I think it's a very dirty
trick to play on Dudley.
Well, I guess it's
not all Eddie's fault.
In a way, Dudley is
sort of asking for it.
What do you mean by that?
Well, I don't know.
But Dudley is the kind of kid
that if he just walks
down the street,
a guy wants to trip him
or throw water on
him or something.
Oh.
Well, Wally, Mrs. McMillan
is a very old friend
of your mother's,
and so I guess it's sort of up
to you to take the boy in hand,
and, well, in my day, we
would have said wise him up.
You mean clue him in.
Yeah.
However you refer to it,
I think you'd better do it.
Hi, Mom.
Well, you're certainly
a lot more cheerful
than you have been
for the past few days.
Sure, Mom.
Mr. Willard kicked
me out of the chorus.
Is that anything
to be happy about?
It is when you're a guy
and you got to sing
with a lot of girls.
Can I ask you why Mr. Willard
kicked you out of the chorus?
I don't think you have to, Mom.
I think you'll get a note from
Mrs. Rayburn telling you why.
Where's Wally?
Oh, he's upstairs.
He's playing
records with Dudley.
Oh, I think I'll go up there.
I like to look at Dudley.
Beaver, why would you say that?
I don't know.
I guess 'cause you don't
see many guys like Dudley.
Side, together...
Back, side, together...
Front, side, together...
Back, side, together...
Front, side, together...
Back, side, together...
Front, side, together...
Back, side, together.
Okay, Beaver, what are
you doing snooping around?
Nothing.
I just came up
to look at Dudley.
That's all.
Okay. Well, beat it, will you?
Well, it's okay, Wally.
I don't mind him
watching at all.
Look, Dudley, if you want to
be one of the guys around here,
you've got to quit
being so polite.
Yeah, Dudley.
It's okay to be polite to
teachers and parents and stuff,
but don't waste your time
just being polite to kids.
Front, side, together...
Back, side, together.
Hey, Wally, do you think I'll be
able to do all right at the party?
Well, sure.
Sure, you're doing
pretty good right here.
Yeah. But I never had too
much to do with the girls.
Yeah. I know how you feel.
I used to be scared of girls too
until I found out that
they're just as scared of us
as we are of them.
Well, how did you find that out?
Well, a couple of years ago, I
went to take Mary Ellen's hand.
It was all sweaty.
Hey, look, and another thing.
At the party, if Lumpy or
Eddie or any of the guys
start to give you the business,
you give it right back to them.
Why would they do
that? They're my friends.
Well, yeah, yeah, I
know they're your friends
but I'm just saying, if any of
the guys give you the business,
you just give it back to them.
Okay. But I don't know
how to give the
guys the business.
Well, it's simple.
You just flip their tie
out, or call them a creep,
or hit them in the arm.
Anything like that to
make them like you.
Front, side,
together... back, side...
You know, Wally looked nice
when he went to
Christine's party, didn't he?
Hmm-mm.
I talked to Mrs. Staples today.
She said that she
and her husband
were gonna be home all evening
but they were gonna act
as though they weren't.
Well, I hope they don't act too
much as though they weren't.
Honey, is there really
anything wrong with Dudley
that makes Wally so worried?
Oh, I don't suppose there's
anything really wrong with him, dear.
It's just that he's a
new kid in school,
and it's gonna take
him a while to adjust.
Well, I hope they
won't be mean to him.
Well, unfortunately, any
boy who's a little different
is always gonna be a target
for kids like Eddie and Lumpy.
Well, at least Wally'll
be there to defend him.
Oh, no.
No, I think Wally's done
about all for him he can.
I'd say that Dudley was
pretty much on his own tonight.
He's either gonna
make it or he isn't.
Hi.
Hi, Chris.
Hey, here they come,
Wally and Dudley.
Yeah. Is he wearing
that goofy hat?
No. Somebody
must have got to him.
Hey, everybody, everybody yell,
"You can't beat Buchanan High,"
when Wally and old Dud walk in.
Oh, no.
What for?
Oh, you do it.
My mother said to get your feet
off the window seat
cushion, Lumpy.
Okay. Where'd she
stick her head in from?
Hey, Christine, watch this.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Hi, Christine.
This is Christine Staples.
May I present
Mr. Dumbly McMillan.
It's Dudley.
Now, what?
It's Dudley. You
called me Dumbly.
Oh, did I? I'm sorry.
Come on, Dudley.
Let's meet the others.
Hey, guys.
Come on. Let's lay off. Huh?
What are you gonna do?
Protect him the
rest of your life?
Heck, no.
But you guys don't
know when to quit.
You know, Mr. Al was
pretty sore yesterday
when you sent him into the
girls' locker room for those towels.
All we did was point
him toward the building.
It's not our fault he
can't read the signs.
You could hear the girls
screaming clear out to the lake.
Well, if you don't like
football or baseball,
or any of the sports, well,
what do you like, Dudley?
Well, gee, nothing
much, I guess.
Hey, he didn't waste any time
moving in on your girl, did he?
Okay, Dumbly, we're
buddies and all that,
but now you're moving
in on my territory.
Hey, how about a little music
so we can shake the
bones around the floor?
We can't get it to work.
Oh, no.
♪♪
Mary Ellen, would you
mind dancing with somebody
even if they were a
pretty terrible dancer?
Well, you're doing fine, Wally.
No. I don't mean
me. I mean Dudley.
Oh, of course.
Is he afraid of girls?
Yeah.
I guess he's afraid
of quite a few things.
But would you dance with him
even if he steps on
your feet or something?
Why, of course, Wally.
Hi, Dud.
I'm getting kind of tired.
You want to dance?
- Oh, no thank you.
- Oh, come on.
You'll be dancing with
the best dancer here.
Well, I know. But thanks anyway.
Come on, Dud.
Come on, just once.
Well, okay.
That's more like it.
Oh, dear. I knew this
would happen again
if Danny tried to fix it.
Stand aside.
Let the old master
have a go at it.
♪♪
♪♪
Hey, Dudley, how
come you didn't tell me
you could play like that?
Gee, I don't know.
What's so great about
playing the piano anyway?
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey, what gives, Sam?
He's playing the piano.
Well, yeah, I know, but... Shh.
Okay, Beaver, I
know you're awake.
How'd you know?
On account of you were snoring.
Well, how did the party go?
Well, it was all right.
Mr. Staples only had to
come down a couple times
to tell us to pipe down.
Did Dudley have a
good time or a bad time?
I think he had a good time.
He was playing the piano.
Wearing his overcoat?
Cut it out.
You know, he plays
piano real neat.
No fooling?
Boy, he doesn't look like
he'd do anything real neat.
Did you know he
could play the piano?
Well, no.
He never said
anything to me about it.
Boy, that's funny, Wally.
Dudley, who can do something,
didn't say anything about it.
But Eddie, who
can't do anything,
is all the time saying
he can do everything.
Well, I guess
that's the difference
between guys like Eddie
and guys like Dudley.
Yeah.
Boy, when I grow up, I
hope there's more guys
like Dudley around
than there are like Eddie.
Well, let's face it, Beaver.
There's always
gonna be both kinds.
Yeah.
and...
Ruth McMillan.
Okay.
Who's Ruth McMillan?
Honey, I've talked about
her a thousand times.
We went to school together.
Come on, honey. She's waiting.
Hello, Ruth.
Ward.
Yes, well, it's very
nice talking to you too.
Yes. Yes. We must be sure
and do that sometime soon.
Yes, well, here's June.
Hello, Ruth?
Yes, I guess they're all
tired when they get home.
Well, now look, you tell Dudley
that Wally'll be looking
forward to seeing him.
Bye.
June, don't ever hand me a phone
and tell me to talk to
a complete stranger.
It's like having
someone walk in on you
while you're taking a shower.
Well, you know Ruth.
She was my bridesmaid.
She and Ralph have just
moved into the neighborhood.
And her boy and Wally will be
going to the same school together.
- Well, that's fine.
- Yes. So I told her
to have Dudley stop
by in the morning.
Wally would walk
to school with him
and introduce him around.
What's the matter?
Well, nothing, I guess.
I just hope that's the
way they do it nowadays.
What do you mean?
Well, if I remember correctly,
a new boy is supposed
to go to a new school
for several weeks
and sort of be ignored,
then finally, he
gets tired of that
and in order to
attract attention,
he starts talking
about his old school,
and then somebody
tells him to knock it off
and he's made his first friend.
Ward, that's cruel.
Maybe.
We boys wouldn't have
had it any other way.
Oh, hi, Beav.
Hi, Dad.
Well, come here a minute.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Yes, sir.
Do you mind if we don't
talk about it right now?
Well, no, of course not, Beav.
Dad.
Yeah?
Is a soprano a lady singer?
Yeah. A soprano is a
girl with a high voice.
Then how come boys
can be sopranos too?
Well, most boys have high voices
until the age of 13 or so. Why?
That's the part I don't
want to talk about.
Come on now, Beaver,
you can level with me.
I'm your father.
Well, Mr. Willard,
our music teacher,
started up a chorus today,
and it's got girls and boys in it
and there are not enough
creepy girls to sing soprano,
so Mr. Willard made me and
Harry sit and sing with them.
Oh, I see.
Well, that's not so bad.
Gee, Dad, how would
you like to be singing
"The Blue Bells of Scotland"
right in the middle of a
whole bunch of smelly girls?
Yeah, well, did you ask
Mr. Willard to change you?
Yeah, but he said he was sure
I didn't want to
be a rotten citizen.
Well, at least you have
Harry to share this thing with.
No, I don't. He's home right now
trying to think of
something terrible enough
to get him expelled.
Oh, I'll get that, Mrs. Cleaver.
Oh, well, thank you, Eddie.
It's that middle one.
Oh, Wally... Wally,
I have something
I want to discuss with
you a little bit later.
Well, gee, Mom, we
better discuss it now.
'Cause Lumpy Rutherford just
got a new set of old tires for his car.
We're gonna go over
and take a look at them.
Wally, you're not gonna ride
around in that old wreck, are you?
Well, gee, no, Mom.
He's only had it a
couple of months.
He can't even get
the motor started yet.
Oh, thank you, Eddie.
It's no trouble at
all, Mrs. Cleaver.
Well, Wally, an
old friend of mine
has just moved into
the neighborhood,
a girl I went to school with.
I know, Mom. And she's
got a homely daughter,
and you want me to
take her to a dance.
She doesn't have
a daughter at all.
Ruth has a son.
He's about your age.
His name is Dudley.
- Dudley?
- Uh-huh. Dudley McMillan,
and he's gonna stop
by here in the morning.
What for, Mom?
Well, I told his mother
that if he stopped by,
you'd walk him to school and
introduce him to your friends.
Gee, Mom. How come?
Oh, Wally, now, you know,
it's very hard to be the
new boy or girl at school.
I'd be glad to help Wally
introduce your friend's son
around school, Mrs. Cleaver.
Well, thank you, Eddie.
There's a wonderful bunch
of fellows in the gym club
that just love to
meet new people.
Well, that's fine.
Well, Wally?
Well, it's okay, I guess.
Good. Dudley will be here
about a quarter of
eight in the morning.
Boy, your mother
sure got her nerve
sticking you with
this Dudley creep.
Gee, I don't know, Eddie.
I mean, he might not be so bad.
Hey, you want a hunk of milk?
No. I don't want a hunk of milk.
Well listen, I know the picture
with a guy like this Dudley.
He'll start hanging around,
and the first thing you know,
he'd be telling everybody
he's your cousin or something.
Well, gee, Eddie,
what are you making
such a big deal out of it for?
Well, I'm just saying that if a
guy already has a best friend,
well, what does he want to
go picking up new creeps for?
Ah, come on, Eddie.
Gee, Beaver, you don't
have to get sore at your socks
just 'cause you
have to sing soprano.
Pipe down, will you, Wally?
Oh, good morning, boys.
Oh, hi, Dad.
Oh, Beaver, you
can't go to school
with a big hole in
your sock like that.
Okay, then I won't go at all.
He's been griping all morning
about singing in the chorus.
Well, Beaver, you just
go on to school today
and do the best you can,
no matter what part you
have to sing in the chorus.
Yes, sir.
You know, uh, hey only have
chorus practice once a week
so he won't have to be a lady
singer again until next Tuesday.
Now, you know you're
not helping much, Wally.
Say, your mother wants you
downstairs early this morning
so you'll be there
when Dudley arrives.
Yes, sir.
Dad?
Yes, Wally?
Um, have you ever
seen this Dudley guy?
Well, no.
But your mother says
he's a fine upstanding boy.
Gee, Wally. He's a creep.
Beaver, there's no reason
for you to assume that.
Well, Dudley, how
nice to see you.
Come on in.
I'm Mrs. Cleaver.
Yes, I know. How are you, ma'am?
Fine. Come on.
Well, my goodness, Dudley.
You know, the
last time I saw you,
you were just about that high.
A long time ago.
Hey, look, Dad, he's
wearing an overcoat.
Ward, this is Dudley McMillan.
Oh, hello, Dudley.
Hello.
Wally, come and meet Dudley.
Oh, hi. How are you?
Pretty good.
Well, you boys can't know
what this means to
Dudley's mother and to me.
Well, we used to talk about
having sons go to school together
when we were little
girls playing with dolls.
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, say, Dud, why don't
you leave the hat here today?
I don't think there's
a chance of rain.
Okay.
Well, now, if Ruth
asked him to wear a hat,
she had a good reason.
And anyway, I think it
looks very nice on him.
Oh, hi, Beav. Hi.
Come in and say hi to Dudley.
Hi.
Hello.
Who died?
Nobody died.
Fellas, you'd better
get started to school
or you're going to be late.
Nice to meet you.
You don't want to
be late the first day.
Have a good day.
All right, Dud.
Bye, bye, Wally.
So long, fellas.
Oh, Ward, you know,
it may sound silly
but that was a very
nice moment for me.
Yeah, I know, dear.
And I'm afraid you're all alone.
Um, we could go to school
down Filbert Street, if you want to.
This street's okay...
unless you want to
walk down Filbert Street.
No. No, this street's okay.
Do you know where
Filbert Street is?
Uh-uh.
It's the next street over.
Oh.
It sounds like a
nice street too.
Yeah, they named it after
this guy named Filbert.
He croaked.
Hey, what kind of creep
is this creep supposed
to be anyhow?
I don't know, Lumpy.
He's just some kid
that's leaching onto Wally
just because his mother used
to play dolls with Mrs. Cleaver.
Hey, here they come.
Well, how do you like that?
Wally's made friends
with Lord Beaverbrook.
Hey, maybe he's
wearing that goofy outfit
so you'll say something
and he'll slug you.
Hi, Wally.
Hi, Wally.
Hi, guys.
This is Dudley McMillan.
That's Eddie, and that's Lumpy.
Hi, Dudley.
Hi.
Hi, Dud.
Hello.
Where did you
used to go to school?
Buchanan High.
Hey, that's a super school.
Yeah.
You guys had the best
girls' volleyball team
in the league last year.
We did?
Did you go out
for anything, Dud?
Well, I went out for football
but I got my finger stepped
on in the first scrimmage,
so my mother made me quit.
Well, listen, I got my
hair pulled in basketball,
and my mother made me quit.
It wasn't that I was afraid
of getting hurt or anything.
It's just that, well, it's kind
of hard to play the flute
with busted fingers.
Come on, guys, let's get going.
You want to stand
on the corner all day?
Well, wait a minute.
Tell me something, Dud.
You don't mind if I
call you Dud, do you?
Gee, no.
Thanks a lot, Eddie.
How can you
smooch with the girls
if you've got tough lips
from playing the flute?
Come on. Let's get going.
- We're gonna be late.
- Hey, wait.
Hey, make sure you get
one of the tall thin lockers
instead of one of
the short fat ones.
Oh, you mean, they
have different kinds?
Well, sure.
The tall thin ones are for
the kids that have overcoats
so they can hang them up.
Yeah, and they got this little
kind of a box thing for hats.
Come on, let's go.
Thank you, dear.
Come in.
Good afternoon, Mrs.
Cleaver, Mr. Cleaver.
Hello, Eddie.
By the way, I helped Wally
introduce your friend's
son around school.
A lot of people know him now.
Well, that was very
nice of you, Eddie.
It's quite all right,
Mrs. Cleaver.
I always try to put myself
in another person's position.
Is Wally home?
Yes. He's up in his room.
Thank you.
You're looking very
well, Mr. Cleaver.
Thank you, Eddie.
Well, that was
very nice of Eddie.
Yes, wasn't it?
You say that as if you
mean just the opposite.
I do, dear.
Hey, Beav, is Harry still
gonna try to get himself expelled
so he won't have to sing
soprano in the chorus?
Yeah. But he's gonna wait
till after report cards come out
just so he can see
what he got in arithmetic.
Hey, Wally, don't say I
never did anything for you.
What?
You're gonna flip.
You're moving away, Eddie?
No, pipe down, squirt.
Listen, I invited old Dud
to Christine Staple's party.
Gee, Eddie, why did you
have to go and do that for?
Well, your mother wants him
to meet people, doesn't she?
Well, sure.
But you just invited
him to that party
so you can get
everybody to laugh at him.
Well, what's wrong
with a few laughs?
I just thought I'd drop
by and let you know.
Now give my regards to old tough
lips McMillan when you see him.
Wally?
Yeah, what?
Promise me one thing, will you?
Well, sure. What?
Promise me you'll never
tell Eddie I'm singing soprano.
Oh, don't worry, Beav, I won't.
You see, the thing is, Dad,
that Eddie just invited
Dudley to the party
so that he could
give him the business
in front of everybody.
Well, if that's
the truth, Wally,
I think it's a very dirty
trick to play on Dudley.
Well, I guess it's
not all Eddie's fault.
In a way, Dudley is
sort of asking for it.
What do you mean by that?
Well, I don't know.
But Dudley is the kind of kid
that if he just walks
down the street,
a guy wants to trip him
or throw water on
him or something.
Oh.
Well, Wally, Mrs. McMillan
is a very old friend
of your mother's,
and so I guess it's sort of up
to you to take the boy in hand,
and, well, in my day, we
would have said wise him up.
You mean clue him in.
Yeah.
However you refer to it,
I think you'd better do it.
Hi, Mom.
Well, you're certainly
a lot more cheerful
than you have been
for the past few days.
Sure, Mom.
Mr. Willard kicked
me out of the chorus.
Is that anything
to be happy about?
It is when you're a guy
and you got to sing
with a lot of girls.
Can I ask you why Mr. Willard
kicked you out of the chorus?
I don't think you have to, Mom.
I think you'll get a note from
Mrs. Rayburn telling you why.
Where's Wally?
Oh, he's upstairs.
He's playing
records with Dudley.
Oh, I think I'll go up there.
I like to look at Dudley.
Beaver, why would you say that?
I don't know.
I guess 'cause you don't
see many guys like Dudley.
Side, together...
Back, side, together...
Front, side, together...
Back, side, together...
Front, side, together...
Back, side, together...
Front, side, together...
Back, side, together.
Okay, Beaver, what are
you doing snooping around?
Nothing.
I just came up
to look at Dudley.
That's all.
Okay. Well, beat it, will you?
Well, it's okay, Wally.
I don't mind him
watching at all.
Look, Dudley, if you want to
be one of the guys around here,
you've got to quit
being so polite.
Yeah, Dudley.
It's okay to be polite to
teachers and parents and stuff,
but don't waste your time
just being polite to kids.
Front, side, together...
Back, side, together.
Hey, Wally, do you think I'll be
able to do all right at the party?
Well, sure.
Sure, you're doing
pretty good right here.
Yeah. But I never had too
much to do with the girls.
Yeah. I know how you feel.
I used to be scared of girls too
until I found out that
they're just as scared of us
as we are of them.
Well, how did you find that out?
Well, a couple of years ago, I
went to take Mary Ellen's hand.
It was all sweaty.
Hey, look, and another thing.
At the party, if Lumpy or
Eddie or any of the guys
start to give you the business,
you give it right back to them.
Why would they do
that? They're my friends.
Well, yeah, yeah, I
know they're your friends
but I'm just saying, if any of
the guys give you the business,
you just give it back to them.
Okay. But I don't know
how to give the
guys the business.
Well, it's simple.
You just flip their tie
out, or call them a creep,
or hit them in the arm.
Anything like that to
make them like you.
Front, side,
together... back, side...
You know, Wally looked nice
when he went to
Christine's party, didn't he?
Hmm-mm.
I talked to Mrs. Staples today.
She said that she
and her husband
were gonna be home all evening
but they were gonna act
as though they weren't.
Well, I hope they don't act too
much as though they weren't.
Honey, is there really
anything wrong with Dudley
that makes Wally so worried?
Oh, I don't suppose there's
anything really wrong with him, dear.
It's just that he's a
new kid in school,
and it's gonna take
him a while to adjust.
Well, I hope they
won't be mean to him.
Well, unfortunately, any
boy who's a little different
is always gonna be a target
for kids like Eddie and Lumpy.
Well, at least Wally'll
be there to defend him.
Oh, no.
No, I think Wally's done
about all for him he can.
I'd say that Dudley was
pretty much on his own tonight.
He's either gonna
make it or he isn't.
Hi.
Hi, Chris.
Hey, here they come,
Wally and Dudley.
Yeah. Is he wearing
that goofy hat?
No. Somebody
must have got to him.
Hey, everybody, everybody yell,
"You can't beat Buchanan High,"
when Wally and old Dud walk in.
Oh, no.
What for?
Oh, you do it.
My mother said to get your feet
off the window seat
cushion, Lumpy.
Okay. Where'd she
stick her head in from?
Hey, Christine, watch this.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Hi, Christine.
This is Christine Staples.
May I present
Mr. Dumbly McMillan.
It's Dudley.
Now, what?
It's Dudley. You
called me Dumbly.
Oh, did I? I'm sorry.
Come on, Dudley.
Let's meet the others.
Hey, guys.
Come on. Let's lay off. Huh?
What are you gonna do?
Protect him the
rest of your life?
Heck, no.
But you guys don't
know when to quit.
You know, Mr. Al was
pretty sore yesterday
when you sent him into the
girls' locker room for those towels.
All we did was point
him toward the building.
It's not our fault he
can't read the signs.
You could hear the girls
screaming clear out to the lake.
Well, if you don't like
football or baseball,
or any of the sports, well,
what do you like, Dudley?
Well, gee, nothing
much, I guess.
Hey, he didn't waste any time
moving in on your girl, did he?
Okay, Dumbly, we're
buddies and all that,
but now you're moving
in on my territory.
Hey, how about a little music
so we can shake the
bones around the floor?
We can't get it to work.
Oh, no.
♪♪
Mary Ellen, would you
mind dancing with somebody
even if they were a
pretty terrible dancer?
Well, you're doing fine, Wally.
No. I don't mean
me. I mean Dudley.
Oh, of course.
Is he afraid of girls?
Yeah.
I guess he's afraid
of quite a few things.
But would you dance with him
even if he steps on
your feet or something?
Why, of course, Wally.
Hi, Dud.
I'm getting kind of tired.
You want to dance?
- Oh, no thank you.
- Oh, come on.
You'll be dancing with
the best dancer here.
Well, I know. But thanks anyway.
Come on, Dud.
Come on, just once.
Well, okay.
That's more like it.
Oh, dear. I knew this
would happen again
if Danny tried to fix it.
Stand aside.
Let the old master
have a go at it.
♪♪
♪♪
Hey, Dudley, how
come you didn't tell me
you could play like that?
Gee, I don't know.
What's so great about
playing the piano anyway?
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey, what gives, Sam?
He's playing the piano.
Well, yeah, I know, but... Shh.
Okay, Beaver, I
know you're awake.
How'd you know?
On account of you were snoring.
Well, how did the party go?
Well, it was all right.
Mr. Staples only had to
come down a couple times
to tell us to pipe down.
Did Dudley have a
good time or a bad time?
I think he had a good time.
He was playing the piano.
Wearing his overcoat?
Cut it out.
You know, he plays
piano real neat.
No fooling?
Boy, he doesn't look like
he'd do anything real neat.
Did you know he
could play the piano?
Well, no.
He never said
anything to me about it.
Boy, that's funny, Wally.
Dudley, who can do something,
didn't say anything about it.
But Eddie, who
can't do anything,
is all the time saying
he can do everything.
Well, I guess
that's the difference
between guys like Eddie
and guys like Dudley.
Yeah.
Boy, when I grow up, I
hope there's more guys
like Dudley around
than there are like Eddie.
Well, let's face it, Beaver.
There's always
gonna be both kinds.
Yeah.