Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 23 - Mother's Helper - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Hey, Wally, how
come we got stuck

with doing the dishes tonight?

We didn't get stuck with 'em.

We're doing them on account of

Mom and Dad are
going to the movies.

Oh.

What's the matter?

Don't you like to do the dishes?

Yeah.



Well, I guess it's all right.

At least it's one way of
getting your hands cleaned.

Hey, Wally, when
you get married,

are you going to have
your wife do the dishes?

Well, sure.

That's what a girl's
supposed to do,

all the housework and the dishes

and all that kinda stuff.

Boy, when I grow up,
I'm not gonna marry a girl.

Oh, you're not?

Huh-uh.

I'm gonna have
paper plates instead.

June!

June, we're gonna
be late for the movie!



Dear, this is one of
those suspense mysteries,

and according to the paper,

no one's admitted
after the picture starts.

I can't see myself sitting
in the lobby eating popcorn

for two hours.

Dear, would you mind
too much if we didn't go?

What's the matter?
Are you too tired,

or just not in the
mood for murder?

Well, I'm tired, and I'm
a little mad at myself too.

Do you know I cleaned
up this whole house

for the club meeting tomorrow,

and now I found out the girls
aren't coming until next week.

That's too bad.

Well, we'll just
stay home tonight

and watch people kill
each other on television.

I'll go tell the boys
we're not going.

All right. Listen...

Instead of knocking yourself
out with all this housework,

why don't you get Mrs.
Manners to come over here

a couple of days a
week and help out?

Well, I suppose I could call
her, and she is a good worker.

Of course, I'd have to
listen to her tell about her son

who's doing so
well in Kansas City,

and he never sends her a nickel.

Boys.

You guys taking off now?

No, we've decided not to
go to the movies tonight.

Oh.

Hey, that was a
pretty tricky way

of getting us to do
the dishes, huh, Mom?

No, your mother's kinda tired
from cleaning the house today.

As a matter of fact, we're
thinking of having Mrs. Manners

come over a couple of
days a week to help her out.

Oh, yeah, I remember her.

She's a nice lady.

Oh, and she's always
baking good stuff

and she smells like gingerbread.

Hey, Mom!

Hey, Mom, I'm home!

So I hear.

Did Mrs. Manners get here yet?

My stomach's been thinking
about gingerbread all day long.

Oh, no, Beaver.

Mrs. Manners is
pretty busy these days,

so her daughter's
coming for a while.

Oh.

She's out in the kitchen now.

Why don't you go out
and introduce yourself?

Yeah, well, I guess it
wouldn't hurt just to look at her.

Beaver, where are
your school books?

Oh, Miss Landers didn't
give any homework today

on account of the superintendent
of schools is coming tomorrow

to look at all the classrooms.

So we just had a rehearsal.

A rehearsal?

Sure. We rehearsed sitting at
our desks and looking smart.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, you don't have
to stop working.

I just came out to look at you.

Oh.

Well, you can't be Wally,

so you must be the little fella.

Yeah, but I'm getting
pretty big for a little fella.

My name's Margie.

Well, my name's Theodore,
but nobody calls me that.

Can you make gingerbread?

I'm afraid not.

I didn't think so.

I figured you were too
skinny to make gingerbread.

When does your big brother
get home from school?

Well, sometimes,
he has track practice.

And then sometimes, he
hangs around the soda store

and lets the girls
giggle at him.

If he's not doing
any of those things,

he might be home by about 3:30.

Oh.

Oh!

Well, did you meet Margie?

Yeah, I met her.

What'd she have to say?

Well, she said she
can't make gingerbread

and when does my
big brother get home.

Oh, you!

Look what you've done!

You walked all
over my clean floor.

Oh, well, gee, I didn't
know it was your clean floor.

Hey, you're not Mrs.
Manners, are you?

No, I'm her daughter, Margie.

You must be Wally.

Yeah, must be.

Oh, excuse me.

I'm helping your
mother after school.

Gee, that's nice.

Well, I'm getting paid for it.

Well, yeah, but it's still nice.

So, you go to Mayfield
High, don't you?

Yeah.

Well, I go to Union High,

and I was sure
mad at you last year

when you beat us in football.

Oh, well, gee, it
was nothing personal.

I mean, just because the
score was 65 to nothing

doesn't mean you guys
didn't play a good game.

Well, I better finish my floor.

Yeah, well, I guess I
better go do my homework.

Oh, I need some clean water.

Well, here, I'll get
it. Oh, I can lift it.

Oh, no, I got it. That's okay.

You might get a charley
horse or something.

Thank you.

There's a washtub
in the pantry there.

I'll, uh, I'll show
you where it is.

Okay.

Margie!

Margie?

Yes, Mrs. Cleaver?

- Oh, hi.
- Oh, hi, Mom.

I was just helping
her empty her bucket.

Oh.

Yeah, well, I guess I
better go do my homework.

I'll see you, Margie.

I'll see you, Wally.

Oh!

You know, Dad, we don't
have any homework tonight

on account of the superintendent
of schools is coming tomorrow.

Oh, what does he do?

Well, he sits at the back
of the class and says,

"Everybody go ahead
with your lessons

and just pretend I'm not here."

Well, doesn't that make Miss
Landers and the children nervous?

Huh-uh. We've been
practicing all week

pretending he's not there.

You know, Eddie Haskell
says that he heard of this school

where the principal can watch
all the classrooms by television.

Oh, yeah, I've read
something about that.

Yeah, but he says
that the evidence

they get on you
won't hold up in court.

Well, I suppose Eddie knows.

Well, how did Mrs.
Manners work out today?

Oh, Mrs. Manners
isn't Mrs. Manners.

She's her daughter.

Her married daughter?

No, her younger one.

She's a high school student.

Oh, do you know her, Wally?

No, she goes to Union High.

Well, I just hope
she's not too young.

Is she any real help, dear?

Oh, yes, and she's very
nice and very pleasant.

Except she can't
make gingerbread.

What do you think of her, Wally?

Well, gee, I don't know, Dad.

He must think something of her,

because right after he
met her, he came up,

and he started looking
at himself in the mirror.

Cut it out, will ya, Beaver?

You look at yourself in
the mirror lots of times.

Sure, but I'm looking to see

if I got any new teeth
or anything coming in.

I'm not looking to
see how pretty I am.

You better watch it, Beaver.

I got plenty of junk on
you if I wanted to talk.

What kind of junk?

Well, uh, it's junk I
wouldn't want to say

at the dinner table, Mom.

Now, that's enough, boys.

Why don't you take your
plates out to the kitchen.

And I don't want to hear
any fighting out there.

Yes, sir.

Okay, Dad.

Gee, Beaver, what'd you have
to go and say all that junk for?

Well, gee, Dad's always saying

we should make
conversation at the table.

This, uh, daughter
of Mrs. Manners

sounds like a very
attractive young lady.

Oh, she's very cute.

I just hope having her around

isn't gonna be too much
of a distraction for Wally.

Oh, I don't think we
have to worry about that.

After all, he has track
practice and exams coming up.

I think he'll be
a little too busy

to be too interested in Margie.

I suppose so.

And, anyway, by the time

he usually gets home
from school, she'll be gone.

Ah, come on.

Hey, Mom, can I have some
chocolate syrup on my ice cream?

Well, I guess so.

You want some too, Wally?

Well, gee, no,
Mom, I'm in training.

Anyway, he's afraid of
getting lumps on his chin.

Boy, Mom, the dentist
was real neat today.

All he did was look
at my mouth and say,

"Come back in a month."

Well, honey, all he wanted to do

was see that those
new teeth of yours

are coming in straight.

Yeah, but I like
going to the dentist.

That's the only place
where a guy can spit

without getting yelled at.

Oh, Beaver.

Margie.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Cleaver.

Well, hello there, Margie.

Well, the fireplace
has been cleaned.

And I don't think I ever saw
those andirons shine like that.

Me, neither.

I just hope it wasn't
too much work for you.

Oh, no, it was
no trouble at all.

Hey, Margie, I
emptied out the ashes

and if you want
me to... Hi, Mom.

Wally, I thought you
had track practice today?

Yeah, well, I, um,
I sorta didn't go.

I felt kinda tired.

Wally's been helping
me, Mrs. Cleaver.

Yeah, I, uh, I came home

and she was trying to
clean out the fireplace.

So, uh, so, I thought
I'd give her a hand.

It was very sweet of Wally.

- Yes, it was.
- Oh, Mrs. Cleaver,

I called my mother,
and she said I could stay

and help you with
the dishes tonight.

Yes, well, that's fine, Margie.

Boy, Mom, he's
really done it this time.

Done what?

Gone flaky over that girl.

Real flaky.

Hey, Wally?

What do you want, now?

I got homework to do.

Is that the way you do
high school homework?

Staring off in the air with a
goofy kinda look on your face?

Lay off, will ya?

I'm thinking.

How come you helped
Margie clean the fireplace

and polish the andirons?

I was just helping
her. That's all.

There's no law against
people helping people, is there?

No.

But when Mrs. Manners was here,

the only thing you helped her
with was eating her gingerbread.

Beaver, cut it out, will ya?

I got geometry to do.

Okay, okay.

Uh, hey, Wally?

What now?

Is that stuff geometry?

What stuff?

All those little hearts
with arrows through 'em.

How's Margie coming
with the dishes out there?

Oh, she's pitching right in.

Thank you.

You know, having her to help you

must take quite a
load off your mind.

Well, one load's off my mind.

Another one's on it.

What's that?

Wally.

This afternoon, he helped
her clean out the fireplace

and polish the andirons,

and then he helped her
wash the kitchen windows

while she sat there
and did her homework!

Well, I suppose
when I was his age,

I wouldn't have been averse

to helping a cute
mother's helper either.

Oh, well, you think
it's all right, then.

Well, I think it shows a normal
awakening of the chivalrous spirit.

He also cut track
practice to help her.

What's the matter with that boy?

Where are you going, Wally?

Oh, um, just downstairs
to get a drink of water.

Well, why don't you get
one from the bathroom?

Well, um, I don't know.

Kitchen water
always tastes better.

Since when?

Well, uh, I don't know,
uh, since always, I guess.

You mean, since
Margie's down there

washing the dishes, don't you?

Nah.

♪ I dream of Margie with a- ♪

Cutie pie.

Don't you think you ought
to say something to Wally

about all this help he's
been giving Margie?

Well, dear, maybe he just didn't
feel up to track practice today.

He certainly worked a
lot harder around here

than he ever would have
running around that track.

Well, after all,
she's just his age.

Maybe he's really
trying to help her out.

You know, it isn't like Wally to
show this much interest in a girl

just because she's a girl.

Is that you, Beaver?

Uh, no, Mom,
it's just me, Wally.

Oh, did you want something?

Oh, uh, no, I just,
uh, got kinda thirsty.

So I thought I'd come
down to the kitchen

and get a drink of water.

Ward, there's plenty
of water upstairs.

I know there's water upstairs.

Well, then why would Wally come
all the way down in the kitchen?

Oh, we can trust Wally.

And I'm sure we
can trust Margie.

I don't think we have
anything to worry about.

Oh, Ward, it isn't that.

But he's cutting track practice.

He's neglecting his homework.

And he's mooning
around, and he's acting silly.

Look, why don't we just give
him the benefit of the doubt

and assume that
Beaver is in the bathroom

and that Wally
is really thirsty?

Well, all right.

You know, a fella sure can
get thirsty doing homework.

Yeah, homework does
make a person thirsty.

Yeah.

You know, it's funny
how thirsty a fella can get.

Yeah. Funny.

Boy, it, ah, it sure is good.

Yeah, I betcha.

Water.

Ward, he's had plenty of
time to get a glass of water.

I know.

Maybe you could take
the cups out in the kitchen.

Okay.

Well, didn't you go in?

He's helping her do the dishes.

I didn't want to barge in and
have him think I was snooping.

What are we supposed
to do with the cups,

have them dry-cleaned?

I'll take them
in in a little bit.

Ward, it isn't just Wally.

I'm thinking about Mrs. Manners.

She sends her daughter
over here to work,

not to get interested in Wally.

Well, I think their interest in
each other is perfectly normal.

Oh.

I know that, Ward.

I just wish there was some
way we could discourage them

without having them
think we don't trust them.

Hey, Mom!

Hey, Dad!

We're in here, Beaver.

Hey, Dad, you gonna come in
and check my homework now?

Yeah, pretty soon, Beaver.

Uh, Beaver, how would you
like to have a glass of milk

and some cookies
before you go to bed?

Oh, gee, Mom, I don't know.

I had such a big supper.

I don't know if my stomach
could hold anymore stuff.

Why, Beaver, I never heard of
a future all-American halfback

who turned down a
glass of milk and cookies.

Well, okay, I guess
I could have some.

Beaver, the cookies are up in
the cupboard out in the kitchen.

Yeah, well, I guess
I could eat some.

Beaver, ah Beaver, you
eat them out in the kitchen

so you don't get
the crumbs all over.

Okay, Mom.

Well, I hope we're
doing the right thing.

It's for the common good.

Hi.

Hey Beav, do you want something?

Cookies, but I can get 'em.

Here, let me see if I can help.

No, you go ahead
with your mushy stuff.

Beaver.

Okay, now you got
your cookies, so scram.

I'm helping Margie
do the dishes.

Beaver, I thought I told
you to scram outta here.

I can't. I gotta eat
my cookies here.

Why?

So I don't get crumbs all over.

Okay.

So hurry up and eat 'em.

Boy, brothers.

Hey, Wally, how come
you're drying the dishes?

I thought you hated to do that.

Beaver, why don't
you just be quiet, huh?

Anybody want a cookie?

No, thank you.

Uh, hey, Wally?

Now, what?

Uh, that's the
dry pile, isn't it?

Yeah, that's the dry pile.

What about it?

Well, if that's the dry pile,

how come you keep handing
them back to Margie to wash?

Look, Beaver, you're
getting me all mixed up.

Why don't you get outta here?

Okay.

Well, anyway, if you
started smooching,

it'd make me sick.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, Dad.

Well, Beaver, uh...
Didn't work, Mom.

There's still looking
goofy at each other.

All right, Ward,
what'll we do now?

Now I take the
cups to the kitchen.

Hi! Hi.

Well, how's our kitchen
romance progressing?

Well, I sent Margie
home early today

before Wally got
home from school.

Mr. Haller, Wally's
principal, called up

and it seems that Wally got
a C-minus on an English test.

In English?

Well, that's been one
of his best subjects.

He's been getting
practically straight As.

You guys talking about Wally?

Never mind, Beav.
Run along, son.

Okay.

Hey, you know what happened
on the way home from school?

Well, I saw Margie and
Wally walking together

and he had a real
nutty smile on his face.

Yes, dear.

And then you know what happened?

He bumped right into a tree

and the smile
didn't even go away.

Beaver, your father and I
have something to discuss.

Yes, Mom.

You know something, Mom?

Yes, Beaver.

Things sure were a
lot quieter around here

when you did your own housework.

Beaver.

Yes, sir.

Well, if Wally's housework

is beginning to interfere
with his schoolwork,

I think I better
have a talk with him.

I just hate to embarrass
him, though, about the girl.

Well, dear, maybe
there's another way.

Why don't you let me have
a talk with Mrs. Manners?

Hey, that's a good idea.

After all, it's a lot her fault

for having such an
attractive daughter.

Oh, hi, Mom.

Well, Wally, aren't you
home earlier than usual?

Well, yeah, a little bit.

But last night I
heard you tell Margie

that you wanted the
kitchen floor waxed,

so I thought I'd help out.

Yes, well, fine, Wally.

You go ahead, your
assistant's waiting.

Oh, okay, thanks, Mom.

Hi!

Hello, Mrs. Manners.

How are you, Wally?

Oh, okay.

I must say you're a dear boy
to come and help me like this.

Here, you can start right there.

Sure.

You mean, you're really
not sore at Mom and Dad

for getting rid of Margie and
getting Mrs. Manners back?

Well, I was at first,
but I've been thinking.

About what?

Well, I guess I was kinda
goofing off in my schoolwork

and acting silly.

You know, Beav,
you might not think so,

but most of the time, parents
know what's best for a guy.

I suppose so.

But I wonder how they know

about girls and
mushy stuff like that?

Well, on account of Mom
and Dad were young once too.

They were?

Sure. You know that.

Golly, then you mean Mom and Dad

used to look
goofy at each other,

well, just like you
and Margie did?

Yeah, I guess so.

Boy, you know something, Wally?

What?

I'm sure glad they got over it.

Yeah.