Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 22 - Beaver's Poster - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Well, where are you two headed?

I'm gonna clean out the garage
and Wally's going to help me.

Yeah, Dad's making me help him.

Wally, I'd like to think
you were helping me

just because you're a nice guy.

Oh, sure, Dad.

Hey Mom, where's the Beaver?

Oh, he's up in the attic.

I think he's playing up there.



Let's get him, Dad.

Why should he get
out of being a nice guy?

I don't think our
garage is big enough

to need two nice
guys. Come on, Wally.

Ward, this time, would you please
throw away that old ice cream freezer?

Well, June, you know
there's nothing better

than real homemade ice cream.

Yes, but we haven't had
real homemade ice cream

in the last five years.

You better keep
the freezer, Mom.

I might need it when
I go away to college.

Beaver: Hey, Dad!

Hey, Mom!

What is it, Beaver?



Well, I was playing
pirate ship up in the attic,

and guess what I found?

A buried treasure?

Uh-uh. I found this book

and it's got all
kinds of pictures in it.

Look, there's a
picture of the ocean.

And there's a picture
of some mountains

and there's a
lady with a big hat.

Mother" Beaver, you
know what this is?

This is your father's
old sketch book.

Gee, do you mean he
used to draw the ocean,

the mountains and
ladies with big hats?

Yes, he was quite an
artist when he was in school.

He used to do all those cute
little cartoons for the yearbook.

Gee, wouldn't it have been neat

if he could have become a real
cartoonist for the funny papers?

Then I'd know what was gonna
happen before they came out.

He could've been
a commercial artist.

He was actually very good.

Gee, isn't that something?

What do you mean?

Well, a guy never thinks
that his father can do anything

except go to work and
come back and stuff like that.

Boy, look at this, Mom.

Here's a steam engine with smoke
coming out of it and everything.

Oh, and there's an
airplane with two wings

like they used to
have in the olden days.

Boy, you know something, Mom?

What, Beaver?

I wish there was some way
of using Dad's being an artist.

It's a shame to have a smart
father and then waste him.

Colonial period.

Now, before we
discuss our new project,

are there any questions?

Yes, Penny?

Miss Landers, while you
were writing on the blackboard,

Harry was making noises.

I was not making
noises, Miss Landers.

It was just my
stomach grumbling.

I see, Harry.

If you want, I can get
a note from my doctor

giving permission for
my stomach to rumble.

I don't think that will
be necessary, Harry.

Now, as part of
our Colonial project,

I thought some of us could
dress dolls in Colonial costumes.

Who will volunteer for that?

I will.

I will.

I will.

I will.

I don't think that was
very funny, Gilbert.

Well, gee, everybody laughed.

That will be all, Gilbert.

Yes, Miss Landers.

Now, I'd like someone to make
a relief map of the 13 colonies.

Who will take that project?

Beaver, did I see
your hand go up?

No, Miss Landers.

I was just scratching my head.

Oh, I see.

If I make a map and it's no
good, do I get a bad mark?

No. We're not giving
marks on the project.

Okay, then I'll do it.

Miss Landers: Fine.

Now I think we could have
two or three posters drawn

on the Colonial Period.

Do we have any
budding artists among us?

Well, I think we could
use three posters.

And maybe we'll even have
a little prize for the best one.

Miss Landers, I
have an idea already,

and so no one will copy
it, it's George Washington.

Can I paint a Colonial
soldier with blood on him?

Just so you don't
overdo it, Gilbert.

Do you have an idea, Beaver?

Well, I might draw an
Indian with an arrow in him,

only Gilbert's
got dibs on blood.

Well, I'm sure you'll think
of something, Beaver.

Yes, Miss Landers.

Honey... I thought you
might like a cup of coffee.

Oh, thank you.

Why are you working tonight?

Well I didn't get back
from lunch until 2:30.

Oh?

You and Fred
Rutherford have lunch

at that charming
little restaurant

where they have
the fashion show?

Dear, that was just
an accident last time.

We went to this new restaurant,

and all of a sudden, our table was
surrounded by models in sun suits.

Oh, sure.

That happens to hard
working husbands all the time.

Just to change the subject,

what are our two hardworking
sons doing upstairs?

Homework?

Well, I think Wally
is through with his.

He came down a little while
ago, borrowed some old rags.

Oh? What for?

Well, I was afraid to ask him.

Usually means he
spilled something.

Hey, Wally, what are you
shining your shoes for?

For tomorrow.

Oh, is your school
making you go to church?

Of course not.

I just don't want to
look creepy, that's all.

Well, if it's not
church, it must be girls.

Those are the only two
things that I ever heard of

that make a guy shine his shoes.

Hey, what's all that junk?

Well, it's paintin' stuff.

I'm gonna paint a
poster for school.

Oh boy, that's gonna be a mess.

Why'd you wanna
go and say that for?

'Cause they got
monkeys in the zoo

that can paint better than you.

Well, maybe so.

But they don't go to my school.

Anyway, it's gonna
be a real neat poster

and it's gonna win first prize.

Beaver, why don't you
stop kidding yourself?

When it comes to painting,
you're just a little slob.

Yeah.

Well, maybe I am, but Dad's not.

So what's Dad got to do with it?

Well, I found out he was
almost a commercialized artist

and he's gonna paint
the poster for me.

Did you already ask him?

No, that's what
I'm gonna do now.

Ah, gee, Beaver, I don't
know if he's gonna go for that.

He might just give you that junk

about standing on
your own two feet

and facing the world,
solving your own problems.

No.

I think he only uses that
for geography and arithmetic.

I don't know think he'd use
that for painting a poster.

Okay. But you better watch it.

Okay. I'll watch it.

Hey, Wally?

Yeah.

Who is she?

Who is who?

The girl you're
shining your shoes for.

Ah, get out of here, will you?

Okay.

Hey, Mom, where's Pop?

Pop's in here.

Oh.

Excuse me, Dad.

What's up, Beaver,
you want something?

Could I disturb you
without bothering you?

I guess so, Beaver.
What's on your mind?

Oh, nothing.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm just doing a
little work here at home

to help keep you boys
in food and clothing.

Well, fathers are always
doing stuff with their kids.

Aren't they?

Well, certainly, Beaver.

Any good father
loves his family,

make almost any
sacrifice for them.

That's the way it
always works, huh, Dad?

I guess so, Beaver.

All through history, fathers
have even given up their lives

defending their families.

Would you do that?

Well, I suppose I would,
Beaver, if it were important.

Well, excuse me, Dad.

Would you paint me a poster?

A poster? What for?

For school.

I got to have it, and the
best one wins first prize.

Well, did they tell you to have
your father paint it for you?

No.

But I'm a crummy painter,

and Mom said you
were a real good painter

and almost in the funny papers.

It's got to be in by Friday.

Now wait a minute, Beaver.

This is your assignment.

Now I'll be glad to
get you started on it,

but I can't paint it for you.

Gee, Dad, it would only
take you a couple of minutes.

Well, Beaver, it isn't
a question of time.

It's a question of honesty.

You wouldn't take a
prize for a painting I did.

Would you?

Gee, Dad. You wouldn't want it.

It'd just be a pencil
box or something.

You know what I'm
talking about, Beaver.

We've been over all this before.

I can't do your
homework for you.

I'll be glad to give
you some pointers

and help you get started,
but that's as far as I can go.

Yes, sir.

Dad, I'm sorry I interrupted you

when you were working
to help your family.

Are you helping Beaver
with his homework?

No.

Why did he look so upset?

Oh, he wants a poster for school

and he wanted me
to paint it for him.

Well, I'm sure you could
paint him a very nice one.

Well, I know.

But, ah, that's not the point.

When it comes to schoolwork,

the boys have to stand
on their own two feet.

Oh, yes. And face the world
and solve their own problems.

Dear, how about
a little more coffee?

Well, how did you make out?

Not so good.

What happened?

Dad said he'd croak for me,

but he wouldn't paint
me one crummy poster.

Hi, Mom.

Well, Wally, aren't
you home early?

Yeah.

Lumpy Rutherford
got sick at school

so I had to walk him home.

Oh.

Well, that's a shame.

What's wrong with Clarence?

Well, in the cafeteria,
Eddie Haskell bet him

he couldn't eat 16 ice
cream bars without stopping.

Oh, Wally, now that's terrible.

Well, I think he
might have made it

if he just hadn't
eaten a pot roast.

You want a glass
of milk or something?

Oh, no thanks, Mom.

I ate a couple of
the ice cream bars

that Lumpy couldn't get down.

Oh, can I go upstairs and study?

- Or is Beaver home?
- Oh, he's up there.

I think he's working
on his poster.

Oh, good. Maybe I can
give him a couple of pointers.

Well, now, Wally,
that's all right,

but don't you do any
of the painting for him.

Gee, Mom, don't worry.

I don't want to go and
get in dutch with Dad

by being nice to my brother.

My page, Wally,
it's kind of squashy.

Hey, Beaver, what are
you painting anyway?

Well, I haven't
made up my mind yet.

Yeah, but you got a whole
bunch of blue lines at the top

and a big streak of
brown at the bottom.

Oh, sure.

That's the sky.

And that's the ground.

I figure whatever you paint,

you got to have sky and ground.

Well, what happens
if you paint a ship?

Then I'd just turn
it upside down.

I'd use the blue for water
and the brown for smoke.

You know, Beaver, you ought to
just stick your shirt on the poster.

That's the best thing
you're gonna paint.

Ha! There you are.

Hi.

Ward, do you
know it's after 9:00

and Beaver is still upstairs
working on that poster?

How's he coming?

Well, not very well.

I took a look at it.

He's soaked up both
sides of the poster board

and neither one of
them looks like anything.

Maybe I can give him
a little encouragement.

Beaver!

Beaver: Yes, Dad?

Come on down here a minute, son.

And bring your poster.

Beaver: Gee, Dad, I don't
know if I could do that.

Well, I put it in the bathtub
on account of its drippin'.

Well, come on down yourself.

Okay, Dad.

In the bathtub?

I told you it was a mess.

Hi, Dad.

Well, Beaver, that's quite a
Hawaiian shirt you have on there.

Yes, sir.

I was wondering if you
were gonna yell at me

or just make a joke about it.

Your father wants
to talk to you, Beaver.

Oh.

Well, I'd better not sit down.

I'm not dry all over.

Well ah, tell me about
this painting of yours.

What's its theme?

Huh?

Well, if it's the
Colonial Period,

is it the Spirit of '76, or the
landing of the Pilgrim Fathers,

or the Fourth of July or what?

Oh.

Well, I was gonna
do Thanksgiving,

but then I didn't have
enough brown for a turkey

or enough red for an Indian.

What about George Washington?

He's already taken.

How about Paul Revere?

Well, yeah, I guess I
could do Paul Revere

if I made him purple and
put him on a black horse.

Yeah, you could put a
quotation across the top,

"The British are coming,"

and you could put Paul
Revere on his horse

in the middle, and
then underneath,

you could use a legend
like, "Ever Vigilant."

How does that sound?

Yeah, I guess I could do that.

Only trouble is my poster
came apart in the middle.

Beaver, I'll go down tomorrow

and I'll get you another board.

Okay, Mom.

And I'll come right home
from school tomorrow

and start painting
my Paul Revere.

You know, Beaver, you really should
get yourself a picture of Paul Revere

or something to use as a model.

A model?

Well, sure.

When I was in art class,

we didn't just paint
things out of thin air.

We'd have a model come in

and pose for whatever
subject we were painting.

Okay, Dad.

Oh, and Mom, tomorrow
when you're downtown

to buy me the poster board,

maybe you'd better buy two.

It might save you another trip.

What are you doing?

Oh, he's never
done a poster before,

and as long as he's
having trouble with it,

I thought I'd just lay
out the design for him.

Ward, that's very sweet of you.

You know, you're
very good on horses.

I know.

That's why I never
became a commercial artist.

How many horses do you
see holding up beer cans?

Wally!

Wally!

- What's up, Mom?
- Oh, nothing.

I just didn't want you
to go in the back way.

I just got my kitchen
floor cleaned up.

Oh, okay.

If I have to go in there,
I'll take my shoes off.

My socks are a little bit
cleaner than my shoes.

Oh, fine.

Wally, Wally, when
you're upstairs,

would you see what
The Beaver is doing?

Well, he's probably
working on his poster.

I don't know. He
came home from school

with that friend of his, Harry.

Okay. I'll go up

and make sure they're
not killing each other.

Turn a little sideways, Harry.

I don't think Paul Revere had
as big a stomach as you do.

Harry: I'm getting tired
of being Paul Revere.

Anyway, I'm supposed to
go home right after school

to take my rumblin' pills.

Gee, you've been
here a whole hour

and your stomach hasn't
started rumbling yet.

Yeah, but I want to
get home before it does.

'Cause people look
at me on the bus.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Wally.

See ya, Beaver.

See ya, Harry.

Hey, you know something, Beav?

What?

That's a worse mess

than the mess you had yesterday.

I think it looks pretty good.

The British are
coming, ever vigilant.

Hey, look, Beav.

The horse has got six legs.

Beaver: No, it hasn't.

Those two belong to Paul Revere.

Except I haven't put
stirrups on him yet.

Boy, what kind
of a tree is that?

Beaver: That's not a tree.

That's a British
guy shooting at him.

With four arms?

Well, I was gonna
make two British guys

but then the paint ran together.

Here, give me the brush,
let me fix it up for you.

Uh-uh.

Dad said to do it myself,

and I'm gonna do it myself.

You mean, you're gonna
take that thing to school

and try to win a prize with it?

Sure, I am.

Well, I worked hard
on it, and it's all mine.

Well, okay, Beaver.

But I still think
you'd be better off

if you entered your
shirt in the contest.

Oh, good morning, everybody.

Morning, dear.

Hi, Dad.

Where's our other son?

Oh, he left early.

He wanted to carry
his poster to school.

- Oh.
- Yeah, Dad.

I guess he didn't want
to take it on the bus

and have all the
guys laughing at him.

Oh?

Well, is it really that bad?

Uh-huh.

It really is.

I guess I should have
helped him more with it.

No Ward, I think you were
right to leave him on his own.

After all, they're
all in the fifth grade

and there's no reason
to think the other posters

are gonna be
any better than his.

Well, sure, Dad.

You got a whole
class full of goofs.

One goof isn't gonna stand out.

Well, thank you
very much, Wally.

You're very
encouraging this morning.

Now this is a darling pilgrim.

Isn't it, class?

Yes.

And Helen, why Helen,
this is a lovely doll.

Thank you, Miss Landers.

It's Mrs. Martha Washington.

And it's very realistic.

We made it out of a wetsy doll.

Well, this is
certainly authentic.

Harry, is this yours?

It had a bayonet on it,

but my father wouldn't
let me carry it on the bus.

Well, it's still
very nice, Harry.

Now, shall we go over
here and look at our posters?

Students: Yeah.

Well now, this is artistic.

Isn't it, class?

Yes. It sure is.

That's my George
Washington, Miss Landers.

Well, that's very
artistic, Penny.

Isn't it, class?

Yes, Miss Landers.

Why, Gilbert, this is
a very good drawing.

Thank you, Miss Landers.

That's a funny
color for the sun.

That's not the sun.

It's an American cannonball,

and it's about to
knock his head off.

Who's poster is this one?

I did, Miss Landers.

What did you paint it
with, a scrubbing brush?

Looks like some guy
trying to wrestle a pig.

It's Paul Revere.

Of course it is.

Why, yes, it is Paul Revere.

Miss Landers, you said you
were gonna pick the best one

and give a prize.

I think Penny's is the best.

I think Gilbert's is the best.

Oh, I think Penny made George
Washington look like a lady.

Crummy.

Now, that's quite
enough, children.

You know, I think we should
judge these posters on originality.

Mine's original.

So is mine.

Penny, did you do
this poster all yourself?

Well, my mother
drew the outlines

but I painted the colors myself.

My big brother stuck
on the cotton hair.

Hmm mm.

And Gilbert, did your mother
help you with your poster?

No.

My father did.

Your father did.

Well, he told me things.

What things?

He told me to get
out of the room

because it made
him nervous to paint

with me looking
over his shoulder.

Beaver, did you have
any help on your poster?

No, Miss Landers.

I did it all by myself.

It sure looks it.

Children, now children, I
want to tell you something

about the posters.

It's fine when your parents take
an interest in your schoolwork,

but, well, anyone can
have a very nice poster

if his parents do all the work.

However, you learn a lot more

and you get a lot
more satisfaction

if you do your work yourself.

So, all things considered,

I think Beaver's poster
should get the prize.

Gee, Miss Landers,
do you really mean that?

Yes, I do, Beaver.

Boy, and to think
I almost threw it

in the trash can on
the way to school.

Beaver, I think it's very
nice that you won the prize.

Don't you, Ward?

Well, I certainly do.

Hey, Beav, were you the
only guy that entered a poster?

Uh-uh. There were two other guys

but their parents helped them.

And yours was still better?

No. It was worse,

but it was better on
account I did it myself.

Beaver, you know you can put
that ribbon in your scrapbook.

No.

I don't think so, Mom.

I think I want
to give it to Dad.

Why would you
give it to me, Beaver?

'Cause you didn't help me, Dad.

Well, thank you very much, Beav.

You know, if you
look at that real hard,

it does kind of look
like Paul Revere.

I don't know.

I've been looking
at it awful hard.

And it does kind of look like
what Harry said it looked like.

What did Harry
say it looked like?

A guy trying to wrestle a pig.

Ward, I'm awfully glad
you didn't help Beaver.

Quite a temptation though.

You know, there's no
greater thrill a father can have

than taking bows for
something his kids do,

even if he has
to do it for them.

Did your father used to do that?

Oh, no. He was much
too busy living his own life

to have time to live mine.

Well, you gonna help me
with the dishes tonight?

Well, dear, I didn't help
Beaver with his painting.

I can't start playing
favorites now.