Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 19 - Beaver's Old Buddy - full transcript

Starring...

and...

June!

I'm up here, dear.

Good. You're just in time
to help me turn the mattress.

Well, at least that's a change.

I'm usually just in
time to yell at the kids.

Oh, Ward, look.

A pair of Beaver's socks
and they're all soggy.

Now why would he put them there?

Well, if he put them
in the clothes hamper,



you'd know that
he got his feet wet.

What is this, mattress
turning day or something?

No. Beaver has a friend coming
over to spend the weekend.

I'm gonna put him in here.

Gonna put Wally in
the guest room tonight.

Oh. Well, who's Beaver's
friend that's coming over?

Whitey? Gilbert?

No. Jackie Waters.

Oh, yeah, he used to live
down the street from us

when we were
over on Maple Drive.

I haven't heard of him in years.

Isn't he the
delightful little fellow

who dropped the ice
cream bar on our new rug?

No. He was the one
that was always so polite.



Remember, he was
always shaking hands?

And he called you Mr. Clover.

Oh, sure. I remember him now.

His mother looked a
little like Susan Hayward.

Well, you never mentioned
that when we lived there.

I didn't dare.

Have you told Wally
we're moving him out yet?

No, honey. But Wally won't care.

Thank you, Wally.

Heck, I don't care if
Beaver has a friend over.

I mean, if you want to
let him mess up my room

and turn it into a pig
pen, that's okay with me.

Jackie's not a pig.

When he used to go to my school,

he used to get
stars for neatness.

Wally, I'm sure
Beaver and his friend

are not going to turn
your room into a pig pen.

I don't know about that, Dad.

Did you see where Beaver
stuck his dirty socks?

Under my mattress.

Good heavens, Wally.

If you knew they were there,
why didn't you do something?

Well, gee, Mom, I didn't
want to make a whole big deal

out of a couple dirty
socks in my bed.

Shall we get on with
our food, if we can?

Hey Beaver, this Jackie Waters,

isn't he the kid with the teeth?

Most of my friends got teeth.

No, I mean the teeth that
kind of overlap each other.

You know, when he'd
take a bite out of an apple,

he'd make a mark
like a pair of pliers.

Yeah, that's the kid.

Well, what do and
your friend have planned

for the weekend, Beaver?

Oh, we're gonna do all
sorts of stuff we used to do

when we lived near each other.

He's the only friend I
got from the olden days.

Well, you and Jackie
were great friends.

Well, there for a while, you must
have eaten half your meals at his house.

Sure, Mom.

More fun eating at
another guy's house

even if sometimes they
do serve stuff you don't like.

Hey, Dad, could
you fix up a tire swing

like we had at the other house?

Yeah, I suppose I could.

I remember when you and
Jackie used to spin yourselves

around in that
thing 'til you got sick.

Yeah.

I want to have
fun like that again.

Well, I hope you don't spend
your whole weekend doing that.

Oh, no.

We're gonna look
for buried treasure,

and go over to the pond
and catch pollywogs,

and do all kinds of
neat stuff we used to do.

Would you boys mind
taking your dishes out?

- Okay, Mom.
- Sure, Mom.

Beaver, who's bringing your
friend Jackie over tomorrow?

I think his mom and his pa.

Oh. His mother's coming over.

Isn't that nice, Ward?

Ha ha ha.

Hey Wally, what was
Mom kidding Dad about?

Oh, it was grown-up stuff
you wouldn't understand.

Do you understand it?

Well, no, but I think I'm
closer to it than you are.

Mom, Dad! Mom, Dad,
he's here! He's here!

Come on, he's here!
Beaver, calm down, honey.

Hi, Beav.

Well, hello there.

Hi.

- Hi, Beav.
- Hi, Jackie.

Ward, how are you?

What happened to your teeth?

My teeth?

Yeah, they used to overlap.

Beaver.

We had Jackie's teeth
straightened, Beaver.

Yeah, they spent $1,200 on me.

Boy, you got more
money in your mouth

than most people
got in the bank.

It was so nice of you
to ask Jackie over.

Well, it's our pleasure.

Beaver's been so excited.

Yeah, and Jackie, that's
all he's talked about for days.

Come on, Jackie.

You can change into your
dirty clothes up in my room.

- Okay.
- Now, wait a minute, son.

You mind Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver
and do as they say. Right?

Don't worry, Dad. I
won't act like I do at home.

Well, I'm sure Jackie'll
be no trouble at all.

We're gonna get along just fine.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye, Mom.

- Bye, Dad.
- Bye, son.

We'll be by tomorrow
around noon to pick you up.

Noon?

By the time we have breakfast
and go to Sunday school,

there won't be time
to mess around.

Can't he stay all day
tomorrow, Mr. Waters?

Yeah. Can I, Dad?

Oh, we don't want to impose
on Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver.

Geez, got to stay
more than one day.

My mom put clean sheets
on the bed and everything.

Well, it's no imposition at all.

No, it certainly isn't.

Actually, if they do
everything Beaver has planned,

it'll take a couple of weeks.

Well, in that case, we'll pick
you up tomorrow evening, son.

Let's say 6:00.

Gee, thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Mr. Waters.

Bye, Mom, Dad.

Come on, Jackie.

- Good-bye.
- Bye-bye.

Thank you again.

Lovely to see you again.

Thanks a lot.

Don't worry about him.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Boy, Jackie, outside of your
teeth getting straightened,

and you've grown a couple feet,

you haven't changed a bit.

Same with you, Beav.

The only thing different
about you is your hair.

Maybe that's on account of my
Mom makes me comb it every day.

Yeah. That's probably
what's wrong with it.

Hi, Wally.

Hiya, squirt.

He hasn't changed a bit, either.

Well, did you get the
swing up for Beaver?

Yeah, I found an old
tire out in the garage

and we hung it from one of
the big trees in the backyard.

Yeah, while Dad was
going after the ladder,

I shimmied up the tree
with the rope in my teeth.

Well, just like
Douglas Fairbanks.

Douglas Fairbanks? Who's that?

Some guy you used to know
that climbed trees all the time?

Douglas Fairbanks was
a big star in silent pictures.

Silent pictures?

Oh, yeah. They show them

every once in a
while on TV for laughs.

Dear, do you think Jackie will
have a good time with Beaver?

Oh, I suppose so.

Boy has sort of grown
up, though, hasn't he?

I guess we all have.

Still think his mother
looks like Susan Hayward?

To tell you the truth, dear,

I'm at the age where
even Susan Hayward

doesn't look like Susan
Hayward anymore.

Are you sure this is the
same kind of swing you had

at your old house?

Sure.

Well, except that
wasn't a white one.

Let me try it, Jackie.

Maybe I forgot how to do it.

Well, this is the
way we used to do it.

What's the matter, Beav?

Wasn't it fun for you, either?

Uh-uh.

Gee, I didn't feel anything.

At the other house, I used
to feel scary and seasick

and all kinds of neat stuff.

Yeah.

Well, Wally, where
have you been?

I was over at Eddie Haskell's,

and then his father started
yelling at him so I came home.

Oh. What was he
yelling at him about?

Heck, he doesn't need a reason.

All he has to do is
take one look at Eddie

and then he starts yelling.

Well, why didn't
Eddie tell his father

that he wasn't doing anything?

Heck, if he does that,
his father's liable to hit him

for answering back or something.

Oh.

Did you see Beaver and
Jackie outside anywhere?

Yeah. They're outside throwing
rocks in the old fish pond.

They having fun?

Well, they look dirty
enough to be having fun.

What's the matter, Beaver?

I thought we were having fun.

Yeah, I guess we were.

But I'm tired of playing Korea.

Yeah. That was a
pretty popular war

when you lived
at your old house.

Hey, Beav, you want to
get a couple of dead rats

and go over to the park
and throw them at girls?

Nah.

The way I feel, the fun's
even gone out of dead rats.

Hey, Beaver, I'm
not having much fun.

Me, either.

How come we're not having
as much fun as we used to?

I don't know.

Guess it's on account
of us growing up.

Yeah.

Well, how's it coming?

Supper will be ready soon.

Are the boys still outside?

No. Beaver is up in his room.

I think he's working
on one of his models.

It's nice that he and Jackie
are getting along so well.

Oh, I'm not so sure about that.

Jackie's downstairs in
the study reading a book.

They have a fight?

I sure hope not.

They were so
enthusiastic this morning.

Oh, I'm sorry, Dad.

That's all right, Wally.

Hey Mom, did you know that
Beaver's upstairs goofing off

and his friend is
in the den moping?

Now, I don't think
it's that bad, Wally.

But do you think they
had a fight or anything?

Nah. I think they just
got tired of each other.

Golly. Suppose they
spend the whole weekend

not speaking to each other.
What are we gonna do?

Well, I guess you and Dad

will just have to sweat it
out until 6:00 tomorrow.

Wally, I wish you wouldn't
use words like that.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mom.

Perspire it out.

Well Wally, how did you enjoy
your night in the guest room?

Well, I don't know.

It felt kind of creepy
in that big bed.

I'm not used to
being so comfortable.

You used to think an
alligator lived under that bed.

Before you'd sleep in that room,

your father and I would
have to go in and look under it.

Boy, I must have been
almost as goofy as Beaver.

Oh, hi, Beav.

Hi.

Hi there, Beav.

We were just talking about you.

Mom, can I have some
syrup for my French toast?

Well, of course you can, Beaver.

But where's your friend?

Isn't he coming
down for breakfast?

He says he doesn't feel good.

Was he sick?

Well, he's not bathroom sick.

He's just lying down sick.

Pass the milk, please.

I better go up
and see how he is.

Uh-uh, Mom.

Jackie's one of those kids

that gets tired
of stuff real fast.

Well, as soon as he
gets tired of being sick,

he'll be down.

Well, that's good,
'cause if he died up there,

they'd think it was our fault.

Hey, Mom, after Sunday school,
could I go over to Whitey's?

Whitey's?

What about your friend Jackie?

Well, he can read a
book or something.

Oh, now wait a minute, Beaver.

You invited a friend over,

and it's your duty
to entertain him.

You can't just go running off.

Yes, sir.

Beaver, look, I'll make
some more French toast

and you go up and see
if he won't come down.

Okay.

Ward, we just can't have Jackie
having a miserable weekend.

I think you should see

that Beaver and he
have a good time.

Well, I was gonna play golf.

Well, I guess this
is more important.

Say, Wally, maybe
we could get up

some sort of game
with them, huh?

Well, gee Dad, I was
thinking of going over

to Eddie Haskell's house.

I'd sure appreciate your sticking
around and helping me, Wally.

Well, okay. But like I say,

it's gonna be a
long time until 6:00.

Yeah.

Well, that's a
nice shot, partner.

Nice shot. He almost
missed the whole garage.

Well, it's your
turn again, Jackie.

Hey, this is really
fun, huh, fellas?

Yeah, sure, Dad.

Well, getting closer there.

That's fine.

Well, now we'll have to see
what the opposition can do.

Here you are.

I think he had the wind with
him on that one, huh, Jack?

Well, come on.

We'll give them to the champ.

See how he makes out.

Hey, not bad. Not bad.

What time is it, Mr. Cleaver?

Oh, let's see.

It's just 1:00, Jackie.

Time sure passes fast when
we're having a good time, huh fellas?

Yes, sir.

Yeah, sure, Dad.

Come on. Will you
throw your other dart?

Well partner, we're
20 points behind.

Just gonna have to make it
up on this next round, huh?

All right, partner,
here you are.

He went in the house, Dad.

Yeah, I think he was tired
of having such a good time.

You think they'll enjoy
going to the movies?

Well, honey, we can't have
them sitting in separate rooms

ignoring each other until 6:00.

All right.

I'll take them.

What's a good show
for them to see?

Here we are.

Flowers of Spring.

Now that sounds
like a happy picture.

Oh, dear.

What's the matter?

"Adults only. Filmed in Sweden."

Well, try the Orpheum. They
have a children's matinee.

Orpheum.

Jungle Massacre and
Wayward Girls Go to Town.

Oh.

Also Donald Duck.

Well, see what's at the Bozart.

Oh, they have
a lovely triple bill.

Planet of Doom, Vampire
Valley, and Congarilla.

Well, it can't be
as bad as the titles.

We'll give them a try.

Beaver!

Ward, honey, pretend
you enjoy the pictures,

even if you don't.

Oh, sure.

I'll laugh all the way
through Planet of Doom.

You want something, Dad?

Yeah, Beav.

Thought I might take you kids
to the movies this afternoon.

Isn't that nice?

Yeah, boy, that
would be neat, Dad.

I thought we'd see
Vampire Valley,

Planet of Doom, and Congarilla.

Gee, that would be neat.

I've only seen those
movies once already.

All right, fine.

You and Jackie get your coats
on then and we can get going.

Well, Jackie can't come

on account of he's
waiting for his parents.

Oh, they're not gonna
pick him up until 6:00.

Oh, yes they are.

He called them
about a half hour ago,

and they're on their
way to get him now.

He called them?

Yeah, but I'll go get
my coat anyways.

No. No. No. Just a minute here.

You have to be polite

and wait until his parents
come to pick him up.

Well, couldn't Mom
wait and be polite?

I said good bye to him already.

We'll all wait.

Yes, sir.

But, boy, Dad, you would
have liked Vampire Valley.

It's got more blood in it

than any other
picture I've ever seen.

Oh Ward, it's a shame about Beaver's
whole weekend not working out.

How do you think I feel?

I'm missing Vampire Valley.

Hey Dad, if Beaver is
not gonna use that swing,

would it be okay if I sold that tire
to Lumpy for a couple of bucks?

Uh-huh.

Hey, what's the matter?

Oh, nothing, Wally.

We're just waiting
for Jackie's parents

to pick him up
in a little while.

Boy, what a break.

How'd you guys work that?

Vampire Valley?

Are you sure you
feel all right, Jackie?

Yeah.

I just felt kind of
sick a while ago.

I'm sure it wasn't anything
he ate, Mrs. Waters.

Oh, I'm sure it wasn't.

I just hope he
wasn't any trouble.

Oh, no. It was a
pleasure having him.

Yes, he was a perfect gentleman.

Oh, well we just can't
thank you enough.

Say thank you for a nice time

to Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver, Jackie.

Thanks for a nice time,
Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver.

You're entirely welcome.

Now, invite him
over again sometime.

Come on over again sometime.

You come over and
see us sometime too.

Okay.

Well, thanks again
for everything, folks.

Well, it was our pleasure.

It was very nice of you too.

I thought we could
have lunch sometime.

Well, thanks very much.

- Good-bye, Jackie.
- Good-bye, Jackie.

- Good-bye.
- Good-bye.

Gee, I don't think Beaver's
gonna want any supper.

He's up in his room moping,

like when you used to make
him go to dancing school.

Oh, Ward, he's had a
very upsetting weekend.

Why don't you go
on up and talk to him?

Sure.

Dear... be gentle
and understanding.

Well, of course.

Well, sure Mom, what
do you think Dad is?

A monster or something?

Thank you, Wally.

Hey Mom, you know,
that Jackie Waters,

he sure is a goofy kid.

Why do you say that?

Well, I looked in
the den yesterday

and he was sitting
there reading a book.

Come in.

I guess you're a little
upset, aren't you, Beaver?

Sure, Dad.

I planned all week on having
such a good time with Jackie

and it just turned out creepy.

Yeah.

Well, you know, Beav, what
happened to you and Jackie

is something that happens to
all of us at some time or other.

You mean, sometimes
when grownups get together,

they don't have a
good time either?

Well, something like that.

You see, Beaver,
in life, things change.

Well, Jackie changed.

Since he got his
teeth straightened,

he can't even bite an
apple funny anymore.

Well, he's changed
more than that, Beaver.

And so have you.

Me?

Sure you have.

You take all those things
you were planning to do

like swinging in the
tire and playing War,

well, those things couldn't possibly
be as much fun as they used to be,

now that you're older.

Gee, Dad.

You mean, I'll never any
fun hollering into a drain pipe

or looking for
pollywogs anymore?

Well, I'm afraid it'll never be as
much fun as it once was, Beaver.

Well, gee, Dad.

I always thought growing
up was the neatest thing

that could happen to a guy.

Oh, well, growing up is a
pretty neat thing, Beaver,

if you really grow up,

and it's all right to look back
on the good times you had.

The only thing is, when
you try to relive them,

somehow they're never quite
as good the second time around.

Yeah.

I guess that's like
parking your gum

on the windowsill overnight

and then trying to chew it
some more the next morning.

Yeah.

I guess maybe it is, Beaver.

And you know, the sad thing
is there are some men my age

who are still trying
to be little boys.

You mean, I've stopped
being a little boy?

Oh, no, of course not.

The only thing is
don't be too surprised

if you wake up some morning and
find yourself stuck with being a man.

Well, sometimes at night,

well, I try to imagine
me being a man,

but I just can't figure myself
walking around in a big overcoat

and having kids being
scared of me and all that stuff.

Well, I couldn't either when
I was your age, Beaver.

But I'll tell you something.

A man never gets so old

that he forgets how it
was being a little boy.

Well, I guess that's how come
you didn't get mad at me and Jackie

when we messed up
your weekend, huh, Dad?

Yeah, yeah, I
guess it was, Beav.

Well, come on. Let's go down
and get some supper, huh?

Okay.

Hey Wally, that Jackie
kid left his toothbrush

and a whole tube of toothpaste.

Well, so what?

Well, do you think I ought
to call him and tell him?

Nah. Any kid that's got
$1,200 worth of teeth

has probably got a
couple dozen toothbrushes.

Yeah.

You know, my teacher, Miss
Landers says that in the olden days,

people didn't used
to brush their teeth.

They just let them get
rotten until they fell out.

Well, yeah, but people
didn't live so long

in the olden days, either.

They usually kicked the bucket

about the same time
their teeth gave out.

Yeah.

Pretty neat the
way it works, isn't it?

Hey, what are you reading?

It's Edgar Allen Poe,
Murders in the Room Morgue.

Are you enjoying it?

Well, I would be enjoying it

except I'm reading
it for English class.

Oh.

Hey, you had a pretty
crummy weekend, didn't you?

Yeah.

I was thinking it was
gonna be so neat.

Yeah. Well, you
gotta watch that stuff,

thinking things
are gonna be neat.

'Cause when you think
they're gonna be neat,

that's usually when they
turn out to be nothing.

Maybe next time I'll
think it's gonna be nothing,

and then it'll
turn out real neat.

Hey, Wally?

Yeah.