Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 3, Episode 3 - School Bus - full transcript

Beaver gets suspended from riding the school bus for acting up.

Starring...

and...

All right, children.

Before the bell rings,

I have an announcement
I want to make.

Commencing tomorrow,

school-bus service
will be extended

to all school areas.

Well, in other words,

those of you who have
been walking to school

may now ride the bus.



Who wants to ride the bus?

Isn't that wonderful?

Yes, Miss Landers.

Yes, Whitey.

Can I sit in the
front of the bus?

I get carsick in back of stuff.

Well, I think that can
be arranged, Whitey.

Thank you, Miss Landers.

Are there any other questions?

Go ahead.

Yes, Larry?

Will the bus pick you up
no matter where you live?

That's right, Larry.

Thank you, Miss Landers.



Now, a list of the...

Even if you lived in Chicago?

Larry, if you lived in Chicago,

you wouldn't go to this school,

and I don't think that's a
very intelligent question.

Well, gee, I just wanted to know

in case I ever move to Chicago.

Larry, sit down.

Thank you, Miss Landers.

Now, a copy of the
behavior rules on the bus

has been sent home to
your parents through the mail.

I want you all to memorize it
because if you don't follow it,

you're not going to be
allowed to ride the bus.

Yes, Judy?

Do you want me to write down the
names of the ones who misbehave?

Judy, I think Mr. Crawford,
the bus driver,

can take care of that.

Yes, Miss Landers.

Class dismissed.

Huh. I'll be you just
said you get carsick

to get a good seat.

I'll bet you don't
really get carsick.

You just wait and see
if I don't get carsick.

That's telling her, Whitey.

Did you open all the mail?

Uh-huh.

Why didn't you open this one?

Well, that's from
Beaver's school,

and I just thought
I'd leave that for you.

Why?

Well, everything's
gone wrong today,

and I just didn't think I could
take any more bad news.

Well, dear, it's not
necessarily bad news.

With the beginning
of the school year,

it could be a carnival or a
tree-planting festival or...

"Dear parent or guardian..."

I knew it was bad news.

"Beginning Tuesday...
That's tomorrow...

"Grant Avenue School is extending
its school-bus service to your area.

"Your child should be
ready and waiting at the curb

"no later than 8:15.

"Enclosed is a copy of
rules of behavior on the bus

"to make sure you and your child

"will cooperate in helping us

maintain the proper
standards of discipline."

Ward, that's wonderful.

We won't have to worry

about him fooling around
on the way to school anymore.

No, I suppose not.

Although I always
thought of walking to school

as one of childhood's
most cherished memories.

Well, I suppose it
has to be swept away

along with corduroy
knickers and a felt beanie.

Corduroy knickers?

Sure, don't you remember, dear?

When you walked, they whistled.

I went to a girls' school.

Well, I better take
these rules up to Beaver

so he can look them
over after supper tonight.

He'll probably be as
excited about riding the bus

as you were with
your whistling knickers.

"Students will be ready
and waiting each morning

"at the appointed time.

"The bus will not
move from the curb

until the students are seated."

How come, Wally?

They've got a state
law against standing.

"Students will keep head
and arms inside the bus

and will not converse with
occupants of passing vehicles."

What does that mean, Wally?

Well, that means no
hollerin' out the windows.

Oh.

"Only lunches and schoolbooks
may be carried on the bus."

Gee, what if like last year

when Miss Landers asked us to
bring a potato to grow in class?

Well, you could probably get
permission to bring a potato.

They just don't want
you carrying junk

that'll make a mess
or smell up the bus.

Gee, how can the driver know
what you're doing if he's driving?

He's got a big mirror up in
front so he can watch you

and a microphone to
holler at you through.

Boy, I'm not going to do any
messing around on the bus.

There's no use
getting in trouble

before I get to school.

Yeah.

Hey, Wally, you never went
to school on a bus, did you?

No, but our team's
always going to track meets

and baseball games on buses.

Do you gotta keep
quiet on those?

Well, on the way
home if your team won,

you're allowed to holler.

Where's the Beaver?

- Oh, he's waiting out
on the curb for the bus.
- Well, is it time?

No, but he didn't want to
miss it the first morning.

Boy, he sure is getting
a big charge out of it.

He memorized the
horsing-around rules and everything.

Wally, would you go
out and ask your brother

if he wants butter or
mayonnaise on his sandwiches?

Sure, Mom.

Hey, Beaver!

What is it, Wally?

Mom wants to known if you want
butter or mayonnaise on your sandwiches!

Tell her both.

He wants both, Mom.

I heard.

Oh, there's the school bus,
and I don't have his lunch ready.

I better go tell him his sandwiches
are being "mayonnaised."

Here, Wally, you take this out.

He's going to have to
do without mayonnaise.

Okay, Mom.

There.

False alarm, Mom.
It's just a garbage truck.

Here, Beav, no mayonnaise.

Well, here it comes
now. Right on time, too.

Now, Beaver, you
behave yourself.

Gee, Mom, don't make a big fuss.

You'd think I never rode
in a school bus before.

Well, heck, Beav, you haven't.

Sure, but I don't want
anybody to know it.

Hi, Beav.

- Hi.
- I saved you a seat, Beaver.

- By, son.
- Good-bye, Dad.

- Bye, Beaver.
- Good-bye, Mom.

Good-bye, Wally.

Where do you think
you're going, Beaver,

to Europe?

Bye. Bye.

Ward, you don't think he
was embarrassed, do you,

all of us being out here?

I don't know.

Of course he was, Mom.

Well, like that first day
when I went to high school.

You went and drove me over,

and then you played
that dirty trick on me.

What dirty trick?

You know, you went inside

and introduced
yourself to my teacher.

Huh.

Why, June, how could
you do a thing like that?

I was only being polite.

Why, dear, a display
of manners like that

could've blighted the
boy's whole school career.

- Good morning, Mr. Crawford.
- Good morning.

Mr. Crawford! Hey, wait for me!

Mr. Crawford,
wait! Hey, wait up!

Wait for me!

Good morning, Mr. Crawford.

- Hi, dear.
- Hi.

What's this?

A letter from Beaver's school.

And this time I took
your advice and opened it.

- Well?
- Bad news.

"Dear parent or guardian,

"we regret to inform you that
your son Theodore has b...

"has been suspended
from riding the school bus

"for a period of one week.

Reason... conduct not up to
fourth-grade behavior pattern."

Good heavens, what did he do?

When he came home
from school, I asked him,

and he broke out crying.

"Conduct not up to
fourth-grade behavior pattern."

He could've done anything.

Now, what are the other
mothers in the neighborhood

going to think if our boy's the only
one not allowed to ride the bus?

Well, dear, they
don't have to know.

We could smuggle
him to school in the car.

Dear, I want you to
find out what happened.

He's always behaved
himself before.

Of course we're going to
find out what happened,

but why couldn't they just
come out say what he did?

In my day, if you
broke a window,

they sent a note home
saying you broke a window.

They didn't imply you were
some kind of psychopath.

You just better go up and
get to the bottom of this.

Yeah, I suppose I should.

Beaver.

You want me, Dad?

Yes, Beaver.

This note came
from school today.

Uh, I was just going
downstairs, Dad.

Fine, Wally.

Uh, I'll see you, Beav.

See you, Wally.

Well, Beaver,

you've been riding the
school bus for five days now.

Four.

All right, four.

Sit down.

And now you've been suspended

for "conduct not up to
fourth-grade behavior pattern."

What did you do?

I hit a kid on the head.

Well, Beaver, that was
a terrible thing to do.

No, it's not. It was
Charles Fredericks.

Why would you suddenly hit
Charles Fredericks on the head?

'Cause he suddenly
hit me on the head first.

Huh.

Anyway, both you
and Charles Fredericks

are now off the
school bus for a week.

No, sir. Just me.

Well, if Charles
Fredericks started it,

why isn't he off the bus, too?

Well, the driver
didn't catch Charles,

and Charles is the
kind of kid that can...

Well, hit a kid on the head

and look like he didn't
hit someone on the head.

Oh.

But when I hit
someone on the head,

right away everybody knows it.

Wally, do you know why your
brother was suspended from the bus?

Well, kinda.

Would you mind telling me?

Well, gee, Mom, why
should I be a stool pigeon?

Dad's upstairs
shaking it out of him.

Oh, Wally.

Well, okay.

- Beaver hit a kid on the head.
- That's terrible.

Gee, Mom, when
you went to school,

didn't kids hit other
kids on the head?

We were ladies and gentlemen.

Boy, you must've gone
to school a long time ago.

Well, I think I got
to the bottom of it.

Uh, I was just going
in the living room, Dad.

Fine.

Boy, there sure are a lot of
places you can go to in this house.

Beaver hit a boy on the head.

Yeah, I know.
Charles Fredericks.

Charles started it, but
he didn't get caught.

Then it wasn't Beaver's fault.

No, not entirely, but he still
shouldn't have been fighting

on the school bus.

Do that boy good to walk
to school for a whole week.

It's too far.

You're going to have to drive
him on the way to the office.

Oh, fine.

That's the way it goes nowadays.

The child does something wrong,

and they punish the parent.

That's true, dear,
but what can we do?

I don't know.

I'm sure going to try to find
some way over the weekend

to get Beaver back
on that school bus.

Dear, why do other
children get away with things,

but ours always get caught?

Well, I think it's because
when ours do something wrong,

they look as though they've
done something wrong.

At least that's
Beaver's explanation.

Larry said if he got
thrown off the bus,

his father would hit him.

His father's always hittin' him.

Yeah. You know, Wally,

I'm glad we don't
have a hittin' father.

Yeah.

Hey, is that the water
running in the bathtub?

Yeah, I'm going to take a bath.

How come?

They haven't told
you to take a bath yet.

Yeah, but it'll be better

when they tell me to take a bath

if I can say I already took one.

Yeah.

Where you going?

Oh, I'm going to go
up and talk to Beaver.

I've decided he ought
to write a letter of apology

to that bus driver.

Do you think that'll get
him back on the bus?

I don't know
whether it will or not,

but I think it's
something he ought to do.

It's pretty rough driving a bus
full of school kids every day

without having the kids hit
each other over the head.

All right. Dear,
while you're up there,

would you tell the
Beaver to take a bath?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, Wally, where's the soap?

I don't know. Maybe
you better ask Mom.

No, I think I'll just take
a bath without soap.

Beaver.

Hi, Dad, I'm taking a bath.

Well, that's fine,

but first I want you to
write a note to the bus driver

telling him how sorry you are

for your part in the trouble.

A note? Me?

Yes. Even though Charles
Fredericks started it,

you were wrong
to fight on the bus.

Well, sure, Beav.

You should've waited till
you got off the bus to slug him.

Never mind, Wally.

Gee, Dad, couldn't I just
tell Mr. Crawford I'm sorry

when he lets me back on the bus?

No, Beaver, I think a
letter would be much better,

and I want you to get
started on it tonight.

- Now?
- Right now.

But, gee, Dad,
the bathtub's full,

and I don't want to let all
that clean water go to waste.

Well, Wally can take a bath.

Boy, Beaver, now
look what you did.

Now I gotta take a bath,

and I didn't do anything.

"Mr. Crawford,

"I am sorry that I hit Charles
on the bus on the head.

"I should not have done that.

Yours truly, Theodore."

Beaver, you're in big trouble.

You gotta apologize
harder than that.

How?

Well, uh...

Well, you could at least start
it off with "Dear Mr. Crawford."

Well, isn't that kind of mushy
calling a bus driver dear?

Well, no... no, it doesn't
mean you like him or anything.

It's uh... It's just a way
people have of starting letters.

Even if you were gonna
sue a guy for a million dollars,

you'd start it off with "Dear."

Okay.

D-E-A-R.

"Dear Mr. Crawford...

"I am sorry that I hit Charles
on the bus on the head.

"I should not have done that.

Yours truly, Theodore."

Nope, nope. You gotta
write it better than that, Beav.

Well, uh...

Like we had in history,
when Queen Elizabeth

was going to chop
this general's head off.

The general wrote her
a whole big long letter.

When she read it,
she sat down and cried.

Gee, I don't want to
make Mr. Crawford cry.

Here, let me fix it up for you.

Hey, Wally, what finally
happened to that general guy?

The Queen chopped his head off.

What's that?

It's Beaver's letter of
apology to the bus driver.

Oh, let's hear it.

"My dear Mr. Crawford,

"I am writing this letter to you

"because I am sorry I hit
Charles Fredericks on the head.

"You are such a good bus driver,

"that anyone who would
make trouble on your nice bus

"is very bad and
won't do it again.

"If I ever get to ride
on your nice bus again,

"I will just sit there
and do nothing.

Your friend, Theodore Cleaver."

Oh, Ward, that's cute.

You know, that's
a very nice letter.

Sure it is.

I suspect that Wally had
something to do with it,

but I think Mr. Crawford
will get the idea.

Good morning, Mom. Morning, Dad.

- Morning.
- Morning, Mom, Dad.

Good morning.

Did you read my
apology letter yet, Dad?

- Yes, I did.
- If it's no good,
Wally helped me write it.

Thanks a lot, Beav.

No, Beaver, it was very good.

Sure is, Beav.

Uh, matter of fact I'd like you to
take it over to Mr. Crawford today.

Do you know where he lives?

No, but Larry
knows where he lives

on account of he used to give
Larry's sister guitar lessons.

Oh, well, suppose you go and
call Larry and get his address.

Sure, Dad.

Then come back
and get your breakfast.

Okay, Mom.

Wally, how many
pancakes can you eat?

Oh, I don't know.

Just give me eight
or nine, please,

and then I'll let you know.

I guess you helped Beaver
a little with his letter, huh?

Well, a couple
words here and there.

Did one of the words
happen to be "trouble"?

I noticed it's
spelled with two b's.

Yeah, well, I kinda spelled
it that way on purpose

so it would make it look
like it came from a kid.

Uh, you do know how to
spell "trouble," don't you?

Sure, Dad.

Just yank out a "b".

Ward. Ward?

Yeah?

Mr. Crawford just
called, and guess what.

He wants to give our
boys guitar lessons.

Oh, stop it.

No, he read Beaver's note,

and he says, starting
Monday morning,

Beaver can start
riding the bus again.

Well, I guess manners pay off

even if you do spell
trouble with two b's.

Did you tell Beaver
the good news yet?

No, he's out.

He went over to watch
Larry get his hair cut.

What's so
interesting about that?

Larry's mother cuts it.

Good-bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

Good morning, Mr. Crawford.

Morning, Beaver.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Cleaver.

I'm Judy Hensler.

Oh, yes, Judy.

Is Beaver home from school yet?

I'd like to see him.

Why, yes, he's up in his room.

Won't you come in?

Thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.

- Beaver.
- Yes, Mom.

Judy Hensler's here.

Tell her to beat it.

Theodore, you come down here.

You know the Beaver.

Yes, Mrs. Cleaver.

- Hello, Beaver.
- Hi, Judy.

May I see Beaver
alone, Mrs. Cleaver?

Yes, I suppose so.

Why don't you children
go in the living room?

Thank you, Miss Cleaver.

Beaver, your new
home is just lovely.

Yeah, since when did
you begin to like stuff?

You live closer to
me now, Beaver.

I live closer to Larry, too.

Beaver, you're a friend
of mine, aren't you?

No.

Well, we're in the
same class together.

All right, we're in the
same class together.

- Well, I got suspended
from the school bus today.
- Tough.

Beaver, you got thrown
off the school bus,

and you got back on again,

and I just thought you
could tell me how you did it.

Why should I?

On account if my father
and mother find out,

they'll kill me.

They think I never
do anything wrong.

It's not that bad with me.

My parents expect me to
mess stuff up once in a while.

I can't tell my father
I got thrown off.

You won't have to tell him.

They'll write him a
note and tell him for you.

Beaver, how did you get
back on the school bus?

Well, I wrote a note.

What kind of a note.

An apology note.

My brother helped
me write it up.

I still got a messy copy.

I guess I could let you have it.

Oh, thank you, Beaver.

But you better change
your name on the bottom.

Better change the
words around, too.

I'll never forget this, Beaver.

You're the nicest
boy I ever knew.

Judy Hensler, if you start
getting mushy with me,

I'll sock you right
in the stomach.

- It's kind of stuck.
- Thanks, Wally.

Hey, Beav, did you really give
that creepy Judy your bus letter?

Sure, I gave it to her.

What did you go and do that for?

I won't need it.

I'm not going to get in
any more bus trouble.

Yeah, but Judy Hensler.

She's not going
to appreciate it.

In a week she will
have forgotten all about it

and be giving you the
business again in school.

Yeah, I know it.

Well, if you know it, then
how come you gave it to her?

Well, it won't be
like it used to be

'cause all the time she's
doing mean stuff to me,

I'll know I once did
something nice for her.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Good night, Beav.

Good night, Wally.

- Good-bye, Mr. Crawford.
- So long, Beaver.

- Bye, Larry.
- So long, Beav.

- Bye, Charles.
- Good-bye, Beaver.

- So long, Whitey.
- Bye, Beav.

Bye, Judy.

Ah, ya big dummy.

- Well, hello there, Beaver.
- Hi, Mom.

How was everything
on the bus today?

Fine, except I think Whitey's
going to get thrown off the bus next.

Why, Beaver? What did he do?

Nothing.

He just looks like he's
going to do something.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome, Mom.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA