Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 3, Episode 24 - The Hypnotist - full transcript

Starring...

And...

Did you get your call
from the home office yet?

Oh, no, not yet.

I'm just sitting here making
notes on what they might say

so I'll know what to say.

Well, what if they don't say
what you expect them to?

Dear, I have answers
here that will cover anything.

Good. It must be important

if they're calling
you on a Saturday.

Yeah, I guess so.



And by the way, could
we just keep things

a little quiet around here

until my call comes through?

Of course, dear.

Dad! Hey, Dad!

Where is everybody?

Shh.

Wally, please be quiet.

Your father's expecting
an important call.

Oh. Sorry, Mom.

I just wanted to tell you
that I'm going to the movies.

Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.

Keep it down, will you, Beav?

Don't you know Dad's
expecting an important call?



Yes, Beaver. Your father
has a lot on his mind.

I just wanted to let you know
we're going to the movies.

All right. Are you
going together?

Yeah, we're going together,

but we're going
to different movies.

Yeah. I'm going to
the Mayfield Theater.

I'm not going there.

All they show is kissing movies.

What do you mean?
It's an Army picture.

They aren't having
any girls in it.

Yeah? Then I bet they'll have
kissing in the coming attractions.

Why are you all
whispering out here?

Well, dear, we didn't
want to disturb you.

Oh. Well, I wish you'd
whisper loud enough

so I don't have
to strain to hear.

It's no big deal, Dad. We're
just going to the movies.

Oh. Well, have a good time.

Okay, Dad.

I hope when we get home,
your mind is nice and empty.

What did he mean by that?

I told him you had
a lot on your mind.

Ah, my little dove,
do not try to resist.

You are in my power.

Hey, Larry, how come he's calling
her a dove when she's a lady?

Search me.

You must watch the magic amulet

as it sways back and
forth in the candle light.

Boy, Larry, he's a
premium hypnotizer, huh?

I don't know. I saw him on television
last week, doing commercials.

As the amulet sways, you sleep.

My darling, sleep.

Boy, she sure is
sleeping, all right.

Now, my petite, I
have you in my power.

Arise.

Boy, Beaver, she's getting up.

Yeah, and she's still sleeping.

And now, time no longer
exists for you, my pet.

My darling, kiss me.

Boy, Beaver. He goes to all
that trouble of hypnotizing her,

and all he wants
to do is kiss her.

Yeah, what a creep.

Go, now. Follow my commands.

Boy, Beaver, he's
got her walking

right through a brick wall.

Yeah. I guess he's
not just a creep after all.

You are going to sleep, Mom.

Sleep, sleep, sleep.

Oh, Beaver, look at
that dirt on your face.

Gee, Mom, I'm trying
to hypnotize you.

Oh, honey, some other time, huh?

I'm awfully busy getting supper.

Look, you go hypnotize
your brother or your father.

Yeah, sure, Mom.

Dad, do you still have
a lot on your mind?

Well, I had my call
from the home office,

and I'm working on some reports,

but I guess I can give
you a few minutes.

Beaver, what are you doing?

Heck, Dad, this is
my magic omelet,

and I'm trying to hypnotize you.

Well, look, I'm afraid I'm not a
very willing subject right now.

Why don't you go hypnotize
your mother or your brother?

Okay, Dad.

Anyways, I wouldn't
know what to do

if I had a real
father in my power.

Come on, Wally. Just
watch it for a couple seconds.

Look, Beaver, how can you
hypnotize a guy when he's soaking wet?

Can I hypnotize you after
you get your clothes on?

After I get dressed,
I'm going out.

I got kind of a date.

With a girl?

Well, yeah.
She's sort of a girl.

You know something, Wally?

What?

You're getting to
be an awful wise guy

since you started taking baths.

You are going to
sleep, my darling.

You are in my power.

Sleep, sleep.

Sleep.

Pay attention, will you, cat?

I'm not playing with
you. I'm hypnotizing you.

What are you doing, squirt?

Nothing, Eddie.
That's what I'm doing.

I saw you with that cat.

You know what's wrong with you?

What?

You're cracking up, Sam.

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty. Here, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Nice kitty.

- Oh, hello, Eddie.
- Hello, Mr. Cleaver.

I just dropped in to discuss our
plans for the evening with Wally.

Oh. Well, he's right upstairs.

Thank you, Mr. Cleaver.

Uh, Mr. Cleaver, I'm
not one for carrying tales,

but I believe your
younger son is outside

annoying the cat
from across the street.

Oh, oh.

I just thought
you'd like to know.

Yes, thanks.

Beaver, will you
leave that cat alone?

Yes, sir.

Hi, Eddie.

Hi. Hey, you want to
mess around tonight?

Nah. I'm going over to
Mary Ellen Roger's house.

What are you
putting a tie on for?

My father said I
should put on a tie.

Okay, put it on. You
can always ditch it

when you get out of
sight of the warden.

Yeah.

Hey, your hair's wet.

Don't tell me you took a shower.

Yeah. What's wrong with that?

Who do you think
you are, Rock Hudson?

Knock it off, Eddie.

Hey, what's your
little brother doing?

He's out front, slugging
a cat with a washer.

No, he's not. He saw this
movie The Mad Hypnotist.

He's just trying to find
somebody to hypnotize.

Oh, yeah. I saw that.

"Master, yours is to
command, mine is to obey."

What corn.

Hey, you know something?

We could really give
that Beaver the business.

What do you mean?

We could pretend
like he hypnotized us,

and scare the little
squirt right out of his skin.

No, that's a dirty trick, Eddie.

Sure, it is. That's
why it's funny.

Look, Eddie, you
leave my brother alone,

or I'll bop you one.

Okay, okay, muscles.
Be seeing you, kid.

♪ Baby, won't you
please come home? ♪

♪ Your loving
daddy's all alone ♪

Oh, hello, Eddie. You singing?

Just practicing for the glee
club at school, Mrs. Cleaver.

I'm sure you are.

Be seeing you, Wally.
Good-bye, Mrs. Cleaver.

- Good-bye, Eddie.
- See you, Eddie.

How do I look, Mom?

Oh, Wally, you look just
like a little gentleman.

Ah, gee, Mom, that corny?

Hi, Beaver, old pal.

What are you doing, kid?

Hi, Eddie. How come
you're being so nice to me?

What do you mean? I like you.

Hey, I hear you're
quite the hypnotist.

No, Eddie, it doesn't work.

That's funny. You look like
a genuine hypnotist to me.

I do?

Sure. You got the
voice, you got the eyes.

You're a pretty
forceful character, Beav.

How come it didn't work?

You need a sympathetic subject.

Like who?

Like me, for instance.

Are you sympathetic?

Are you kidding? Try me.

Just one thing, though...

Once you hypnotize me,

are you sure you
can bring me out of it?

Well, sure, just like
I saw in the movie.

All I have to do is
say "Awake, slave"

and snap my fingers like that.

I am ready, sir.

Watch the magic omelet.

Back and forth.

You're going to sleep.

Sleep.

Deep sleep.

Close your eyes.

Sleep.

Sleep, sleep.

You are now under my command,
and will do anything I say.

Eddie? Eddie?

Get up, slave.

Boy, oh, boy.

Wait a minute, Eddie.

You're not supposed to do that.

Wake up, Eddie, wake up.
Come on, Eddie, wake up.

Come on, wake up.
Wake up, Eddie, wake up.

- Hey, Beav.
- Come on, Eddie, wake up.

Hey, Beav, come here.

Come on, hurry up.

Mom wants you to
come in to dinner.

Okay.

Hey, where's Eddie going?

Home for supper, I guess.

Oh.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

Then how come
you're looking like that?

Like what?

Like you're looking.

I didn't know I was
looking like anything.

I was just looking.

Ah, get in the
house, you little goof.

How are you doing with your
survey for the home office?

I should finish it
by this evening.

What's this one about?

Oh, they want us to keep a firmer
hand on the pulse of the women shoppers.

Well, I'm not going
to have my husband

holding hands with
any women shoppers.

Now, dear, how can you
possibly take a woman's pulse

without holding her hand?

Guess I better be getting back.

Guess you better.

Well, anyway, honey, you're
going to have it quiet around here.

Wally's going out, and Beaver went
over to Larry's right after Sunday school.

So long, Mom. So long, Dad.

I suppose you'd consider it
an invasion of your privacy

if we asked where
you were going.

Oh, heck no, Dad.

There was a big slide
up on Crest Highway,

and Lumpy's father's taking
us up to look at the mud.

Well, how do you like that?

I'm home working on reports,

and Fred Rutherford's
out looking at mud.

Well, dear, maybe that's why you
have a corner office and he doesn't.

Exactly.

Master.

Master.

Master.

Oh, cut it out, Eddie.

Master.

Hey, Larry, what are you doing?

Filling these bottles
with gutter water.

How come?

Because there's
nothing else to do.

Hey, Beaver, what's
the matter with you?

He's following me, Larry.

Who's following you?

Eddie Haskell. I kind
of hypnotized him.

What are you talking
about, Beaver?

Yeah, I hypnotized
him yesterday,

and I thought he'd get over it,

but I just ran into
him on Grand Avenue,

and he's following me.

Ah, he's probably just
giving you the business.

Why would he do that?

Because he's a rat.

All right, he's a rat, but look.

Master.

Master.

Boy, Beaver, what a kooky nut.

He sure is scary, though.

Master. Master.

Master, I am yours to command.

Cut it out, will you, Eddie?

Yeah, Eddie, why don't
you leave him alone?

Master, I kill for you.

I steal for you.

Well, go away, will you, Eddie?

Yeah. Go jump in a lake.

Yes, master. Slave
jump in lake for master.

Hey, Beaver, if he did jump
in a lake and get drowned,

the police would
come and get you.

Gee, Larry, you
said he was kidding.

Yeah, but he is
heading for Miller's pond.

Eddie!

- Eddie!
- Eddie!

Wait a minute, Eddie.

Yes, master?

Eddie, don't jump in the lake.

Slave no jump in lake, master.

Okay.

Slave waits command.

Tell him to go home.

Yeah. Go home, Eddie.

Very well.

Slave go home.

Boy, Beaver. Even
if he is kidding,

I'm sure glad I
didn't hypnotize him.

Well, hello there, Beaver.

I thought you were going to
spend the afternoon with Larry.

Well, I was, but I thought
I better spend it at home.

Is anything wrong?

Oh, gee no, Mom.

Do you think I
could talk to Dad?

Well, honey, he's
working in the den.

I don't think he
wants to be disturbed.

Well, if I talk to him
and didn't disturb him,

do you think it'd be all right?

Well, if you can manage
that, I guess it would.

Look, Beaver. I
was baking a cake,

so I made you gingerbread men.

No, thanks, Mom.

What is it, dear?

It's not dear, Dad. It's me.

Oh. You want something?

Yes, Dad.

Could I please talk to
you without disturbing you?

Yeah, if you make it snappy.

Well, if a guy got hypnotized,

could he stay hypnotized
for the whole rest of his life?

Beaver, what are you getting at?

Well, if a guy hypnotized a guy,

when the guy who was
hypnotized committed a crime,

would the hypnotizer
be sent to jail?

Well, Beaver, I don't
think that would work.

It seems to me I read somewhere

that even if a
person is hypnotized,

they won't do anything that
goes against their moral code.

What's that?

It's their sense of
right and wrong.

But suppose a guy
didn't have one of those?

Look, Beaver, I'm
pretty busy right now.

Could you just run along and not
bother me with a lot of silly questions?

Yes, Dad. I guess I
could not bother you.

Beaver?

Did you talk to your father?

Yes, Mom.

What did he say?

He told me to beat it.

Did you tell your
son to beat it?

Uh, what son?

Beaver.

No, of course not.

Well, he said you did.

Dear, are you by any
chance trying to get my goat?

Well, of course not, dear.

Then would you please beat it?

Yes, dear.

No, no.

Oh, no.

Cut it out, Eddie.
Don't jump, don't jump.

Don't jump, Eddie, don't jump.

I didn't mean it,
Eddie. I didn't mean it.

Beaver, wake up.

Wally, what are you doing here?

Beaver.

Oh. Hi, Wally.

I guess I was kind
of having a nightmare.

What were you dreaming about?

You were hollering about Eddie.

Eddie was on
top of this big cliff,

and he was going to
jump in this big volcano,

and Larry was there with a
bottle of gutter water, laughing.

What's going on, Beaver?

You acted dopey
all through supper.

Well, yesterday I
hypnotized Eddie,

and today, he was
following me around,

saying he was my slave.

Come on, Beaver.

He was just giving
you the business.

No, he wasn't.

He said he was going to
do all kinds of terrible things,

and kill and steal for me.

Oh, that dirty rat.

Pretending he was
hypnotized, after I told him not to.

You sure he's only kidding?

Sure I'm sure.

Boy.

Hey, look, Beaver...
Tomorrow after school,

I'll meet you over by Larry's,

and we'll see if we can
fix that wise guy Eddie.

Thanks, Wally.

You know, sometimes in
the day, you're kind of mean,

but you're a pretty
good brother in the night.

Ah.

June, I'm home.

June?

You want something, dear?

Oh, there you are.

You're home early.

Well, I worked all weekend.

I think I can afford
to come home early.

You know, you sort of neglected
the boys over the weekend.

Maybe you should make it up

by spending a little
more time with them.

Fine. Where are they?

They're not home
from school yet.

Oh. Well, when they come
home from school, dear,

I'll spend more time with them.

Hey, Wally, here he comes.

Okay, now you guys
do just like I said.

Master.

Master, I steal for you.

I kill for you.

Hi, Eddie.

Yeah. Hi, Eddie.

Master.

I am yours to command.

Very well, slave.

Turn left.

Keep walking,
slave, keep walking.

Oh.

- Hi, Wally.
- Hi, Eddie.

What's the matter, slave?

Having fun, wise guy?

Gee, Wally, you know how it is.

I was just kidding around.

No, Eddie. I don't know
how it is. You tell me.

Yeah. Tell him, Eddie.

Well, I...

Hey, guys, look
at the big rabbit.

Get him, Wally, get him.

Hey, stop running,
you crummy slave.

Wally, get him.

Hey, there he is.

Boy, Wally, that was neat,

especially when Eddie
tripped and fell in the mud.

Yeah. You know,
Eddie's the kind of guy

that if you want
him to be your friend,

you got to jump on
him once in a while.

I don't think he's going to fool
around with us for an awful long time.

- Hi, fellows.
- Hi, Dad.

- Your mother wants you
to come down to supper now.
- Thanks, Dad.

Look, guys, I was awfully
busy over the weekend.

I didn't have very much
time to spend with you.

Beaver, didn't you have some
problem you wanted to talk to me about?

Yeah, Dad, but Wally took care
of it by shoving Eddie in the mud.

Well, don't you think you
ought to tell me about it?

- Well...
- It's okay, Beav.

Well, you see, Dad,

me and Larry went
to see this show,

The Mad Hypnotist,

and then Eddie came along
while I was talking to a cat,

and he got hypnotized.

For two whole days, he
kept following me around,

and then all of a sudden,
today Wally said...

What are you thinking about?

Beaver, the mighty hypnotist.

Can you imagine what that
poor little fellow went through

the last couple of days, thinking
he had Eddie in his power?

Well, it was a
terrible thing to do,

but you really think Wally should
have pushed Eddie in the mud?

Ordinarily, dear, I don't
approve of tactics like that,

but in Eddie's case, I
think a good mud bath

might be just the thing he needs

to clear up his
warped perspective.

I just wish I'd
paid more attention

to Beaver yesterday
when he tried to talk to me.

Dear, that wasn't your fault.

You just didn't have time.

Well, that's one of
the problems today.

Seems we never have
time to listen to our children.

Did your father
always have time?

Oh, sure, he'd listen.

If one of the kids had troubles,

he'd let him talk it all out.

Then, nine times out of
ten, we'd get it with the belt.

That sounds so cruel.

Well, maybe so, dear,
but at least he listened.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA