Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 3, Episode 23 - School Sweater - full transcript

Starring...

and...

- You trying to hold my hand?
- No, dear.

- Just wondering
what time it is.
- It's 10:15.

Shouldn't Wally be home from
the basketball game by now?

Well, about now, I'd say
they've had their showers,

and the team's
probably in the corridor

acting like big shots.

Suppose they lost.

Well, in that case,
they're in the corridor

acting like good losers.



Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

- Hello, Wally.
- Hi, Wally.

Ah, you won, huh?

Yeah. I scored 3 points.

I could've scored more,

only I got sent out on fouls.

- How long did you play?
- A little over 2 minutes.

Well, I'm kind of tired.

I'll see you guys
in the morning.

- All right, Wally.
- Good night, son.

Good night.

Ward, when Wally left the house,

wasn't he wearing his sweater?

I think he was wearing
his reversible jacket.



Maybe he had on his car coat.

You know, we're a couple
of very observant parents.

If he ever gets lost, we
won't be able to describe him

to the Missing Persons Bureau.

Dear, what does the paper
say about the weather?

Well, let's see.

They expect a falling barometer

and a low-pressure
area moving in.

What does that mean?

It means they think it might
rain, but they're not sure.

- Morning, dear.
- Morning.

- Morning, Beaver.
- Morning, Dad.

Well, you're eating breakfast
in your raincoat, huh?

Sure, Dad. This way
I'm ready for the bus,

- and if I spill my breakfast
on me, it won't show.
- Good.

I'm finished. I'm gonna go
out and wait for the bus now.

The bus won't be
here for 10 minutes.

I know, but this way, I'll have plenty
of time to stand around in the rain.

I don't like you standing
out there in the wet.

What's the good of having rain
if you can't stand around in it?

Good-bye, Mom. Good-bye, Dad.

Beaver, come back here!

June.

June, boys have been
standing in the rain for years.

We can't infringe on his rights.

- Now, Ward, I don't like...
- Hi.

What's the argument about?

We're not arguing.

Aw, heck.

Where's your raincoat?

I won't need it, Dad.
I'm running to school.

Wally! You'll get soaking wet.

Oh, no, I won't. I run under awnings and
trees and stuff. I won't get wet at all.

Wally, I think you'd better
at least wear a sweater.

Yes.

But, heck, Dad, I don't
have any sweaters that fit me.

My turtleneck... I can't get
my head through the turtle.

Well, you have your high school
letterman's sweater. Wear that.

Oh, well, um...

- Well, that's
sort of in school.
- Sort of in school?

You haven't lost it, have you?

Uh, well, no. No,
I haven't lost it.

Wally, that sweater cost $19.

Now, you bring it
home this evening.

Uh, yeah. Well, I'll try to.

Try to? Well, you will to.

Yes sir. I will to.

Soon as you finish breakfast,

you can go upstairs and
put on your reversible jacket.

And I'll loan you my umbrella.

Umbrella? Gee, Mom,
what are you trying to do?

Ruin me with the guys?

Well, I think at least you
should wear your jacket.

And you be sure and bring
that sweater home tonight.

Yes, sir.

Look, Wally, when you see her,

just tell her you want
your sweater back.

But, heck, Eddie, I
don't know her that good.

Then how come you
loaned her your sweater?

Well, she came up to me
after the basketball game,

and she said she was cold.

She was giggling and stuff,

so I said she
could wear it home.

So she was cold. So she wore
it home. So ask her for it back.

Okay, okay. So I'll
ask her for it back.

If I see her.

Hey, here she
comes. Ask her for it.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Go on.

Uh, Frances, could I
see you for a minute?

Oh, yes, Wally. Girls,
I'll meet you outside.

What is it?

Well, uh...

Wally, the rain certainly
makes your hair curly, doesn't it?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

I had a dog once it used
to do the same thing to.

What do you want, Wally?

Well, uh...

Well, uh, I wanted to
ask you about my sweater.

Oh.

Is this your sweater?

I knew I borrowed it
from some cute boy.

Yeah, well, uh...

And I thought, if you're finished
using it, could I have it back?

Why, of course, Wally.

Thanks a lot.

I'll bring it to school and give
it to you first thing tomorrow.

- Oh.
- Why, Wally,

I wore it to school this morning,
and you wouldn't want me

to get all soaky going
home, would you?

Oh, uh, no.

No, I wouldn't
want you to do that.

Uh, that's okay.

Thank you. Bye, now.

How come you didn't get it?

Well, uh, it's raining
out and everything,

and she didn't want to
get all soaky going home.

Oh, brother.

Yeah, but it's okay.

She said she'd bring it to school
first thing tomorrow morning.

Hey, Wally, you know
what day tomorrow is?

- What?
- Saturday.

Oh.

Oh, well, I guess
she didn't know that.

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, and she'll probably
bring it in Monday morning.

Oh, sure, she will.

You want to walk over to
the gym while I get my books?

Or are you afraid
of getting all soaky?

Did you find out why Wally didn't
bring the sweater home tonight?

Uh, he said he'd
bring it home Monday.

But why didn't he
bring it home today?

I asked him that, and he said
he'd bring it home Monday.

- Do you think he lost it?
- No, I don't think so.

Why can't he just come out
and tell us what happened to it?

Well, dear, unfortunately
he's at the age where he feels

a direct answer can
only get him into trouble.

Do you think he'll
bring it home Monday?

Yes, I think he will.

And I told him he'd better
bring it home Monday or else.

Or else what?

Well, right off the bat,

I couldn't think of an
"or else" to tell him.

But he'd better have
that sweater here Monday,

or there'll certainly
be an "or else."

Gee, Wally. Why would you go
and give your sweater to a girl?

Well, because
she asked me for it.

Then why don't you
ask her for it back?

I did, and she
wouldn't give it to me.

Then why didn't you sock her?

Heck, you can't sock a girl.

Gee, lots of them
have socked me.

And I had to sock a
couple of them back.

Yeah, but that's
different. You're just a kid.

At your age, girls
aren't really girls yet.

When do they turn into girls?

Well, I don't know. Just, uh...

Just all of a sudden,
you turn around

and they're girls.

And a guy's got to
be polite and junk.

Hey, maybe you
can't get your sweater

back from the girl 'cause
she's got you in her power.

What are you talking about?

I saw it in a picture once.
This lady had cat's eyes.

She turned this bunch of guys
into zombies just by looking at them.

And they all went out
and jumped off a cliff.

Ah, I just loaned
her my sweater.

Uh, boys, your mother and I
are going down to the drugstore.

We'll be back in
about half an hour.

Okay, Dad.

Wally, don't you forget
about that sweater Monday.

Oh, uh, sure, Dad.

Boy, I really got to get
that sweater back now.

How come Mom and Dad
are making such a big fuss?

It's your sweater. When you made
your letter, Mom and Dad gave it to you.

Look, Beaver, when your
parents give you something

that's worth $19, it's
never really yours.

Thank you.

What was so important we
had to come down here tonight?

Oh, nothing special. I just
wanted to get out of the house.

It cost us exactly $8.16
to get out of the house.

Well, after I got here, I
saw a lot of things I needed.

Uh-huh.

Uh, how about a soda?

Think we can afford it?

Two black-and-whites.

- No whipped cream
in one, please.
- Coward.

He's been trying to get a
date with me for two weeks.

He just follows me everywhere.

I didn't think Wally
Cleaver followed any girls.

Well, he doesn't,
but he told me,

"Frances, you're
not just any girl."

That doesn't sound like Wally.

Well, I think I know him
a lot better than you do.

After all, I'm the one
he gave his sweater to.

- Ward, did you hear that?
- Shh!

Well, I guess I'd
better be getting home.

He might phone me. And the
poor dear's just terribly jealous.

Ward... Ward, I
can't believe it!

Well, it's his
sweater, all right.

Well, who is she,

and what's she
doing to our baby?

Oh, June, Wally's not a baby.

He's a sophomore in high school.

But, Ward, she's got
him following her around,

and, well,

I'm just not ready to
cope with this kind of thing.

June, she's just a silly
little high-school girl.

Silly?

Did you see the way
she walked out of here?

Yes.

Maybe we do have a problem.

- Well?
- Well, what?

Did you ask Wally what that girl in the
drugstore was doing with his sweater?

Oh, well, I was going to, dear.

But you know,
he's sitting up there

taking the knots out
of Beaver's shoestrings,

and he looked so young and naive

that I just couldn't
face the fact

that he was in the clutches
of a predatory female.

Well, all right, dear, but
don't put it off too long.

You know, this
is very upsetting.

Yeah.

Yeah, I suppose most
mothers feel that way.

I wouldn't be surprised if my
mother might've been a little upset

when I started going with you.

What was she upset about?

Oh, I didn't say she was upset.
I just said she might've been.

Ward, you've been keeping
this from me for years.

Your mother didn't like me.

Yes, she did, dear.
She adored you.

As a matter of fact, I
remember her telling me

that you'd probably
do me a lot of good.

What was wrong with you

that you needed somebody
to do you a lot of good?

I sucked my thumb.

Hi. Hey, where's the shovel?

The Beaver and I are gonna
try to dig up that gopher.

It's behind the garage.
You be sure you put it back.

Sure, Dad. Thanks a lot.

Ward, I thought you
were gonna talk to him.

Well, dear, this is
hardly the time or place.

Anyway, as long as he
has his mind on gophers,

I think we're safe.

Well, all right, but
you talk to him soon.

And if that doesn't work, I'm just
gonna call up that girl's mother.

Oh, now, calm down, June.

You can't make a
crusade out of this.

After all, you're
not Carrie Nation.

Ward, if you think I'm gonna
stand around and let Wally do...

- Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
- Hi.

How come you stopped
talking all of a sudden?

Oh, uh, I don't know.

We just happened to stop.

Is Uncle Billy in trouble again?

No, Beaver. Uncle Billy is fine.

Oh. I thought maybe he'd done
something good like last time.

Uh, Beaver,

your brother's waiting
outside for you with a gopher.

Okay, Dad.

Come on, Beav. I got
the shovel. Let's go.

You know, Wally, I think Mom
and Dad were talking about you.

- How come.
- When I came in the kitchen,
they stopped talking.

Yeah? Did they
start to spell stuff out?

No.

They don't do that
since I got 90 in spelling.

Ah, there could be a lot of
reasons why they stopped talking.

Maybe they just ran
out of stuff to say.

Heck, they've known
each other long enough.

Ward. Ward?

Oh, Ward.

Ward, I think Wally and
the Beaver are coming in.

Now would be a perfect time
to talk to him before lunch.

Well... Well, all right. Tell
him I want to talk to him.

But don't make it look
as though we'd planned it.

Hi, Mom. We missed catching
the gopher, but we found Eddie.

Good morning, Mrs. Cleaver. It's
nice of you to have me for lunch.

Oh, yeah, Mom. Can he stay?

Well, I guess so.

But, Eddie, I wonder if you'd
excuse Wally for a few minutes.

His father would like to
speak to him in the den.

Oh, that's all
right, Mrs. Cleaver.

I'll go upstairs and
entertain the Beaver.

Come on, Beav.

Wally...

Everything's gonna be all right.

Hey, Eddie, I thought you
were gonna entertain me.

What are you trying
to do? Be a wise guy?

Um, Wally, do you know
a girl named Frances?

Uh, you mean Frances Hobbes?

Well, is that the Frances who
has your letterman's sweater?

Oh. Oh, you know
about that, huh?

Oh, yes. Yes, we do.

We saw her in the drugstore.
She was wearing your sweater.

Well, uh, she
must've got cold again.

Wally, I was your age
once, and I can understand

how a boy can be
attracted to a pretty girl...

You know, phoning her
and following her around

and giving her little
tokens of affection

- and being jealous and...
- Dad?

I'm mixed up. Are we
still talking about me?

Yes, Wally, we certainly are.

She told the whole
drugstore last night

about how she had you
wrapped around her little finger

and how you were
following her around.

- She said that?
- She certainly did,

and naturally it upset your
mother and me very much,

especially after you lied about
what happened to your sweater.

Boy, have I been taken!

Zzz! Zzz!

- Zzz!
- What are you doing?

I'm giving you
the death ray. Zzz!

Ah, cut it out,
squirt. I'm reading.

Hey, where are you going?

Over to that creepy Frances's
house and get my sweater back!

Hot dog!

Hey, Wally, wait for me!

Boy, Dad, this is gonna be good!

Ward, what's going on?

Our son has learned a valuable
lesson in dealing with women.

What lesson?

They never want sweaters
just because they're cold.

- Why, Wally Cleaver!
- Hello, Frances.

I'm Eddie Haskell.

From school.

And, Wally, this must
be your cute little brother.

Yeah, I'm his
cute little brother.

Uh, Frances...

Well, Helen's over, and we're making
fudge. Would you boys like some?

No, thank you. Frances,
I came to get my sweater.

Oh.

Well, Wally, I'm gonna
bring it to school on Monday.

Uh-uh. Would you
please go get it right now?

Well, all right, Wally.

Won't you come in?

No, thank you.
I'll wait right here.

Hey, Wally, maybe after we get the
sweater, we could have some fudge.

Maybe we ought
to get out of here.

She might sic
her old lady on us.

No, sir. I'm not leaving
till I get that sweater.

Here it is, Wally.

Thank you. Oh, and
another thing, Frances.

Just watch what you're saying
around in drugstores about me, huh?

Who, me?

Yeah, just watch what
you're saying, that's all.

Boy, we really told
her, didn't we, Wally?

Who was that?

Wally Cleaver.

Oh, isn't he the
boy you sort of like?

Uh-huh. But up till now,

I never realized what
a real dream he is.

You're late. Supper's
almost ready.

Well, I got stuck.
Wally home yet?

- Yes, they're both home.
- With or without the sweater?

Well, I wasn't here
when Wally came in,

and I didn't want to
go up and ask him.

If it was gonna turn into a big
thing, I just thought I'd save it

until you got home.

You're sweet.

Well, I'll think of some pretext
to go up in a few minutes

and sort of scout
the situation out.

What pretext are you
gonna use this time?

Well, I can always fall back
on inspecting Beaver's ears.

They've never let me down yet.

Well, she didn't
wreck it or anything.

No, but you know, Wally?

It smells kind of girly.

Yeah.

That's perfume or
some kind of junk.

I'll just hang it in my gym
locker for a couple days.

That ought to kill it.

Hey, Wally, that was
pretty good today.

You weren't scared
of that girl or nothing.

Yeah, it's not so bad when
you talk to girls like they're a guy.

The only girl I ever liked
was Linda Dennison.

- How come?
- Because she doesn't
mind getting dirty.

- Hi, fellows. Supper's ready.
- Okay, Dad. We'll be right down.

Hey, Wally, what are
sweaters made out of?

Uh, sheep.

I'd hate to be a sheep and
get made into a sweater.

They'll be right down.

Is everything all right?

Yeah, Wally's got the
sweater. But don't mention it.

Hello? Wally?

Well, who's calling, please?

Oh, yes. Just a minute.

It's for you, Wally. Frances.

Oh, uh, thanks.

Hello?

Yes, this is Wally.

No, Frances. I'm sorry. I'm
gonna be busy tomorrow.

Yes, all day. Oh, and Frances,

I would appreciate it if you
would not be annoying me

and calling me on the
telephone at my parents' house.

Thank you.

Well, come on, Beaver. Dinner.

- What are we having, Mom?
- Lamb chops.

- Are they made out of sheep?
- Uh-huh.

Boy, sheep sure
have a tough time.

Well, come on, Wally.
Everything's gonna get cold.

Boy, how do you like that, Dad?

I told her off real good this
afternoon, and now she calls me up.

Yes, and I think you can
count on her calling you again.

And probably again.

It's just one of the
ways of women.

But, gee, that's goony. Can't
anything be done about it?

No one's ever
found a way yet, son.

Lamb chops, huh?

Hey, what are you doing?

- Practicing to be a hypnotizer.
- A hypnotizer?

Yeah, like that lady in the movie
that made zombies out of guys.

Beaver, you can't teach
yourself hypnotizing.

You've got to send away
for a book or something.

Anyway, you're supposed
to be taking your bath.

Yeah.

You know, Wally, this time

I think I'll take my bath
with my bathing suit on.

- Why would you do that?
- That way,

I can pretend I'm a champion
swimmer and get clean at the same time.

Nah, you'd better not do that.

They'll yell at you for getting
your bathing suit all wet.

Well,

if I've got to take a bath, I
might as well get it over with.

Hey, Wally.

Look, Wally! I'm Frances!

Who was on the phone, dear?

It wasn't that
Frances girl, was it?

No, it was a very nice fellow.

His firm wants to
write music to my poem

and turn it into a popular song.

You never wrote a poem.

Well, I told him that.

He offered to
write the poem too.

Oh, Ward, I just hope that
girl stops bothering Wally.

Dear, we just have to face it.

He's gonna be
interested in lots of girls,

and one of these days
he'll end up marrying one.

I don't mind that.
I just don't think

this girl was the
right type for him.

Uh, what type of girl do
you think he should marry?

Oh, well,

some very sensible
girl from a nice family,

one with both feet on the ground

who can cook and
keep a nice house

and see that he's happy.

Dear, I got the
last one of those.

That's very sweet
of you to say that.

Yes, it is, isn't it?

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA