Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 3, Episode 10 - Beaver's Fortune - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Now you remember, Beaver,
you just stay out of his way.

Sure, Mom. Say
good-bye to Dad for me.

I will, bye.

Bye.

Wally, you're gonna be late.

Okay, Mom.

- Is the Beaver getting off?
- Yes.

He seemed a little
upset this morning.

There's a boy in the fifth grade



who's picking on the
boys in Beaver's class.

What did you tell him?

Well, I just told him to
stay out of that boy's way

and avoid him whenever he could.

I don't want to see the Beaver
getting mixed up in fights.

But, on the other hand,
I think there's a limit

to how much
avoiding he should do.

I guess I was about
the Beaver's age

when we had a bully at school.

In order to avoid him,

I used to take the
back alleys to school.

Then one day I just had
enough, so I faced him down.

What happened?

Well, after that I
walked in the streets



and the bully took the
back alleys to school.

Well, Ward, things have
changed since you were a boy.

People... Well, they're
more civilized now.

Oh, sure, we cavemen
were a pretty rough lot.

What's going on?

Oh, nothing.

Some boy is picking on
your brother at school.

No, fooling?

You want me to teach the
Beav a couple of Judo holds

so he can bust his arm?

Wally.

Heck, Mom, I was
just trying to help.

Uh, Beaver didn't anything
about it to you this morning did he?

Uh-Uh. While I was
brushing my teeth,

he just asked me if Wyatt
Earp was a real guy or not.

So long.

Good-bye, Wally.

Wyatt Earp was to a real guy.

He was not. They just
made him for television.

Did not. It was a real guy.

My brother says down in Texas
there's a lot of guys named Earp.

They got Earps all over.

They're not Wyatt Earps.

Of course not. He's dead.

Well, that proves
they made him up.

They're not allowed to
make up dead people.

Not even for television.

Beaver's right.

Wyatt Earp was a real guy.

Who asked you, Whitey?

Hey, watch it, kid.

I didn't do anything.
Larry shoved me.

Watch who you're
shoving him into Larry.

You watch who
you're shoving him into.

I dare you to do that again.

Oh, yeah?

Cut it out. I
didn't do anything.

Shut up, squirt.

Then Larry shoved
Whitey into Soonny

and Sonny shoved
Whitey into Larry.

Well, then what happened?

Then Miss Landers came along

and sent Whitey to
the office for fighting.

Why can't boys
get along together?

Well heck, Mom,
what fun would that be?

Of course, June.

Well, Wally, anything exciting
that happed at your school?

Well, they made me a
big brother to a freshman.

Some guy named Gene Baxter.

What's the boy like?

Well, he turned
out to be a girl.

Some they're making
me a big brother

to some other guy.

- It's too bad.
- Yeah.

Well, fellas, what are
you going to do today?

I'm meeting Larry at the 5 & 10.

Some special occasion?

Uh-Uh, he saved up 18
cents and I saved up 13 cents.

What are you guys buying?

We don't know. We're
just gonna go there

and see how long it
takes us to spend it.

Wally, you going
over to Tooey's?

Yeah, and then his dad

is taking him down to
look at Outboard Motors.

Oh, is Tooey thinking
about buying a motor?

Well, Tooey figures if
he gets enough money

in his bank account,
he might buy one.

Oh, I didn't know he had a boat.

Well, he doesn't have a boat.

Tooey figures if his father
sees an outboard motor

lying around in the garage,

well, sooner or later, he'll
brake down and buy him a boat.

Oh, he does?

Wally, don't you dare try
anything like that on your father.

Heck, no.

Dad's too smart to fall
for anything like that.

Thank you, Wally.

Dad, do you know something?

No, what, Beaver?

If I had another nickel, I'd
have as much money as Larry.

Beaver, I'm very glad to see
your arithmetic is improving.

You see, Beav.

Hey, Larry, how
much you got left?

A cent.

I got a cent left, too.

I had a whole six cent left
after we bought those Army men.

Except then I
bought those labels.

What did you want to go
buy a whole box of labels for?

Well, I can stick them on stuff

and write on them
what's in there.

You don't have enough stuff
to use up a hundred labels.

Well, the rest I can
stick on telephone poles

and write my name on them.

What's the good of that?

How many guys do you know with

their name stuck
on telephone polls?

Yeah.

Hey, Larry.

Here's a weigh machine
that takes a penny.

Let's get weighed.

I know what I weigh already.

Okay, but let's get on it.

It's better than going
home with a penny.

All right, I'll go first.

114 pounds.

Gee, Larry, I don't know
anybody that weighs a 114 pounds

except real people.

Look, Beaver, its got my
fortune on the other side.

What does your fortune say?

"You fortune: Be
cautious with investments.

"Do not extend your
financial responsibility."

Boy, if I got weighed
before I went into that 5 & 10,

I wouldn't have
bought those labels.

Let me try it once.

74 pounds.

Let's hear your fortune.

"This is your lucky day.
Fame and fortune await you."

Boy, Beaver, that's neat.

It's too bad you're a kid, though,
and can't really be famous.

I could be lucky, though.

Yeah.

Hey, instead of going home,

why don't we just
walk around for a while

and see what good
luck happens to you?

Yeah, I guess we
could for a while.

No, he isn't. May I
ask who's calling?

I see.

Yes, bye.

Who was on the phone?

Oh, some girl asking for Wally.

Oh, she leave any message?

Yes, she said tell
him Ralph called.

Oh, yes, she's called before.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Hi.

Wally, why didn't you
come in through the kitchen?

Heck, Mom, I wasn't hungry.

By the way, Ralph called.

Oh yeah, that's a girl.

Well, did you go down
look at outboard motors

with Tooey and his father?

No, when I got over there
his father wouldn't take him.

- He was sore at him.
- What for?

You know how it is, Dad.

I guess he was just sore
at him for being around.

Oh.

Wally, you see the
Beaver anywhere?

Yeah, I saw him
and Larry Mondello.

There were standing out
front of the Ritz motel waiting

for some millionaire to come
by and give them some money.

Why would they think
that would happen?

Gee, I don't know, Mom.

I was with Tooey and I didn't
want to start a whole big thing.

Ward, isn't that silly of
Beaver and Larry thinking

a millionaire is gonna
give them money?

I don't think so, dear.

That's the kind of thing
that keeps kids going.

Hey, Larry, I think
I'll go home now.

What're you talking
about, Beaver?

You can't go home.
This your lucky day.

It said so right in
your weigh in card.

Yeah, but that was a hour ago.

We've been all over and
nothing lucky has happened yet.

Yeah, but what do you
want to go home for?

Nothing ever lucky
happens to a guy at home.

Yeah.

Hey, maybe we ought
to hang around a church.

If anything lucky is gonna
happen, it ought to happen there.

Well, we could try it.

Hey, look who's coming.
Sonny Cortwright.

He thinks he's a tough guy

just cause he's
in the fifth grade.

You know I should have
fought him in school.

I can beat him up with one
hand tied behind my back even.

Sure you could, Larry.

Hey, Sonny.

Yeah.

How'd you like a
punch in the nose?

Who's gonna give to me?

Well, lots of guys could.

Could you?

Well... Could you?

Well, last week I was
sick for two whole days.

Ha.

Just watch what you're saying.

That's all.

I'll bet you Beaver
could though.

Could you, squirt?

Gee, I don't know, Sonny.

Sure he could.

He hasn't been sick or anything.

Let's see you start
something, Beaver.

You want I should hold
your music case, Sonny?

Oh, yeah.

I can't beat him up now.

I got to take my music lesson.

Well, I kind of got to
do something myself.

But I'll tell you what.

I'll meet you right here at
3:00 and beat you up then.

Oh.

You'll be here, won't you?

Sure he'll be here.

What do you think
he is? Chicken?

Okay, I'll meet you right here.

And, kid, I'll pulverize you.

Boy, that was really neat
the way you told him, Beaver.

Gee, Larry, you start it.

How come I got to fight him?

Well gee, Beaver, why should I
get in trouble on your lucky day?

Ward, did you notice
the Beaver at lunch?

I think there's something
wrong with him.

Hardly ate anything.

Oh, probably off on a
dream world of his own

where there's no place
for tuna fish sandwiches.

I know, but he was so quiet.

And then he went right up

to his room on a
Saturday afternoon.

Well, if he was running around,

making noise, and
getting into things

you'd complain, too, dear.

Yes, but at least I'd know
what I was complaining about.

He'll be all right.

Dear, did you ever find
the boys' savings bonds?

The ones Aunt Martha sent them.

No, not yet, but I know
they're in my study somewhere.

Because when the movers
were over at the other house,

I remember tucking
them in one of my books.

Wish you find them so we
can put them in a safe place.

I'll go take a look.

I think I entrusted them
to Charles Dickens.

Dear, I wish you stop
tucking things away in books.

Do you know you left
our marriage license

in a book we loaned
to the Rutherfords?

Well, don't you want them
to know you were married?

Yes, but not when.

Hey, Wally, is
this a right cross?

Pow.

No.

How come?

Because that's your left hand.

Oh.

It looked like my right
hand in the mirror.

Hey, Beav.

Who's this guy you want to kill?

Sonny Cartwright.

Pow. Pow. Pa.

Pow. Pow. Pa.

How come Sonny Cartwright?

Well, he and Larry were
pushing each other in school.

So when Larry saw him
in the park, he asked him

would he like a
punch in the nose.

And Sonny said who's
gonna give it to him?

So I'm fighting him at 3:00.

Yeah, but, Beav,
he's in the fifth grade.

He'll murder you.

No he won't on account
of my fortune says

it's my lucky day.

Beaver, you're a goof.

There's no such
thing as a fortune.

There is to. You're
just saying that.

Okay, okay, then why don't
you go down and ask Dad?

I don't have to
because I know it's true.

Pow. Pow.

Pow.

I don't think you
better try that one.

You might hurt yourself.

Hi, Dad, what you doing
with all those books?

I'm looking through them
for your savings bonds.

Oh.

I didn't think you'd be
reading all those books for fun.

Well, people have
been known to, Beaver.

You can learn a
great deal from books.

Oh.

With all those books I
guess you must know

just about everything there is.

Well, I hardly think so.

But what is it you want to know?

Well, I want to know about luck.

What about luck?

Well...

Well, like, if a guy was
heavyweight champion of the world.

Did he get that
because he was lucky?

Well, I'd say he got it
because he was a good fighter.

You mean luck had
nothing to do with it?

Beaver, you could be the
luckiest man in the world.

But if you didn't
know how to box,

you're liable to get
knock right out of the ring.

Oh.

Then what are
people talking about

when they talk about luck?

Well, if you were a
miner lost in the desert.

And you fell down an old shaft

and discovered an
abandoned gold mine.

I guess you say that was luck.

Oh, I guess it's better to
be a gold miner than a kid.

Beaver, did you come in
here to ask me something?

Beaver.

Beaver, Larry and some boys
are at the back door to see you.

What time is it, Mom?

About 2:30.

Thank you, Mom.

Did you find the savings bonds?

No, not yet.

What Beaver want?

Oh, I was talking to him about

gold miners and
heavy weight fighters...

Man-to-man talk.

Sometimes I think you do that
just to shut me out of his life.

Dear, would you let me
look for my bonds in peace?

- Hi, Beaver.
- Hi, Beaver.

Hi, guys. What
are you doing here?

We're all going over to
watch you fight Sonny.

Everybody likes
to see a good fight.

Yeah, Beaver, we
better get going.

If you're late, Sonny might get
sore and beat you up worser.

Yeah, sure.

You're not gonna chicken
out are you, Beaver?

Of course not. It's
my lucky day, isn't it?

I brought a pocket full of rags
in case you got a bloody nose.

Thanks, Whitey.

Come on, Beav.

No, Tooey, I didn't leave because
your father was hollering at you.

Now?

Um, no, I think I better
stick around here.

Yeah, maybe we can look
at outboards next weekend

and leave your father at home.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay, I'll see you.

I'm gonna walk my
brother over to the park.

Yeah, so long.

Beaver's gone.

He left with Larry and
Whitey and some other boys.

Already?

Uh well, what time is it?

About 10 past 3.

Gee, that late?

Wally, what's the matter?

Oh, nothing.

I guess maybe it
won't be so bad.

What won't be so bad?

Well, I mean, maybe some
grownups will be there to stop it.

Wally, the Beaver's been
acting strange all morning.

Now, if you know what's
up, I want you to tell me.

Well... Well, okay,
Mom. Beaver's fighting

Sonny Cartwright
over at the park.

Fighting with fists?

Well, sure, Mom.
What else can you use?

Ward!

Ward.

Wally, why didn't you
say something before?

Well, gosh, Mom,
I guy's got the right

to get beat up without his
Mom and Dad messing it up.

Ward!

Yeah, yeah, I coming.

What's the matter?
What's going on?

What's going on?
Poor little Theodore's

over at the park
getting beaten up.

He's what?

It might not be that bad, Dad.

The other kid is
only a year older.

You go right over
and stop that fight.

Well, June, I'm right in
the middle of shaving.

All right, then I'll go.

Well, wait a minute. Wait,
June, you can't do that.

Heck, Mom, it
would be better off

he got murdered than
have his mother show up.

All right, then I'll
just call the police.

Now, June, wait a minute.

June, wait, calm down.

Now, look, Wally will go.

Yeah, I could have
been there by now.

Ward, are you sure that
Wally is the right one to go?

Of course I am. Now, look, son.

When you get over there I'm
counting on you to use good judgment.

Sure, Dad.

If Beaver's winning
the fight, I won't stop it.

Oh, uh... Well.

Well, are they back yet?

No, and I think we
should get in the car

and go over there.

Now, June, you mustn't
get so upset about this.

This is something every
boy has to go through.

It's just a part of growing up.

As a matter of fact...

Dear, don't you dare quote

that school of hard
knocks theory again.

All right, but did you ever see
two boys Beaver's age have a fight?

No, and I don't want to.

It's not very brutal.

It's mostly just snarling
and pawing at each other.

They roll around like a
couple of puppies on a lawn.

Dear, that boy
might bite the Beaver.

June, for heaven's sake.

Oh, here they come.

Well, at least he's walking.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Well, there you are, June.

Not a mark on him.

You won, huh, son?

No, Dad, Sonny
Cartwright didn't show up.

Yeah, everybody waited for a
whole half hour, and he chickened out.

Chickened out, eh?

Yeah, Dad, I never knew
I was such a tough guy.

Oh, Ward, I'm so happy
that other boy didn't show up.

Well, just between
us, dear, so am I.

Hi, Dad.

I was just trying
to part my head.

Oh well, you're mother wants
you to come down to supper.

Okay, Dad.

Well, you had a busy
day for yourself didn't you?

It would have been
a lot busier day

if Sonny would had showed up.

Well, at least you were
there ready and waiting.

Yeah, but all the time
I was standing there,

ready to knock his block off,

my knees were
shaking like anything?

They were, Beaver?

Yeah, Dad, you know, if
Wally hadn't have showed up

I might have chickened out, too.

Does that mean I'm a coward?

No.

Not at all.

Fear is perfectly
normal, Beaver.

There's nothing wrong
with being scared.

It's a form of common sense.

Sometimes being afraid keeps
us from doing a lot of foolish things.

Like what, Dad?

Well, like driving
a car too fast

or going swimming
when there's no lifeguard.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

You know, Dad, I might
be a lot worse kid than I am

if I wasn't afraid of
being caught doing stuff.

Well, I expect that's
true of most all of us.

I think I better go find Wally
and tell him supper's ready.

Okay. Dad?

Thanks.

For what?

For making me not
feel bad to be scared.

That's okay, Beaver.

I didn't wake you up, did I?

No, I was awake already.

Hey, Wally, I was just thinking.

Suppose Sonny didn't
really chicken out today.

Yeah, but he did.
He didn't show up.

Yeah, but suppose he
didn't show up on account

he had to go some
place with his mother

or take another music lesson.

Well, if that's what happened

I guess you just have to fight
him next time you see him.

Boy, just when everything's okay

there's always
something to mess you up.

Yeah, but you're not gonna
let it worry you all night are you?

Of course not. No body can
hurt you in your bed sleeping.

- I'll see you, pal.
- Bye, guys.

Hey, Beaver, here
comes Sonny Cartwright.

Why don't you give him the
business for being chicken?

Nah, I don't think so, Larry.

Why not? You always chicken.

- Hi, Beaver.
- Hi, Sonny.

Gee, Beaver, why didn't
you give the business?

Gee, well, I figure as
long as nothing happened.

Why do something
to make it happen?

You could tell he was chicken.

I mean not letting
him get away with it.

Hey, Sonny, wait a minute.

What's a matter, Larry?

I called Sonny chicken,

and the big coward hit
me right in the stomach.

Who's on the phone?

That girl for Wally
again, Ralph.

I told her he was
doing his homework

and I said if she leave her
number he'd call her back.

Well, she leave her number?

No, she hung up.

Why would she
do a thing like that?

Well, June, didn't
you ever call a boy

and not leave your name?

Ward, in my day, proper
young ladies waited

for the boys to call them.

Yeah, but suppose you liked
a boy and he didn't call you.

Well, then the
girl got her mother

to call his mother
and invite him over

for Sunday dinner.

Huh, all this time I
thought I was invited

because your mother liked me.

Ho-ho.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA