Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 2, Episode 33 - Dance Contest - full transcript
Via formal written invitation, Mary Ellen Rogers, who Wally hasn't seen in a while since she went away to school, invites Wally to be her date to a cotillion at the country club. Even though he likes Mary Ellen, he doesn't want to go to a stuffy formal dance. But if he isn't going to go, his parents make him at least telephone Mary Ellen to tell her. But saying no to Mary Ellen ends up being a little more difficult for Wally than he anticipated. He doesn't regret agreeing to go when he sees Mary Ellen for the first time, since she's grown up a lot since he last saw her. But his excitement changes to fear when she tells him she's entered them in the cotillion's cha-cha contest, which he doesn't tell her he doesn't know how to do. As Wally tries to teach himself how to dance using an instructional recording without telling anyone what he's doing, he quickly comes to the conclusion that he has two options: either embarrass himself in the dance contest or figure out a way to get out from going to the cotillion altogether.
[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont,
Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers...
as the Beaver.
"Miss Mary Ellen Rogers
and the Parents' Committee...
"request the pleasure
of your company...
"Saturday night at
the Mayfield Cotillion.
R.S.V.P. Dinner."
Now, why would Mary Ellen Rogers
pull a dirty trick like this on me?
Well, Wally, I think it was
very sweet of her to ask you.
- Yes, son, it's quite an honor.
- What's a "quo-tillion"?
Ah, that's a creepy dance
where a bunch of parents
hang around to make
sure you don't have any fun.
Wally, I think you'll
have a lovely time.
Besides, this is the sort
of thing you should go to.
You know, a boy can't go through
life wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt.
Gee, Mom, why not?
Gee, Dad, do I have to go?
Well, I think you
should go, Wally, but it's
your decision. We're
not going to make you go.
But, Ward, I— No,
it's up to him, June.
Only thing is, Wally,
I think you should call
Mary Ellen this evening
and let her know.
Well, you mean I gotta call
her and tell her I'm not going...
face-to-face on the telephone?
Yeah. Couldn't he just
throw the invitation away?
No, Beaver. You call her, Wally.
All right. All right, I'll phone her
tonight, and I'll tell her I'm not going.
That's what I'll do.
Um, hi, Mary Ellen.
This is Wally Cleaver.
Um, I'm, uh, sorry I
can't go to the dance...
'cause I'm gonna... Yeah!
Nah.
[Footsteps On
Stairs] Uh, Mary Ellen,
I'm sorry I can't
go to the dance.
'Cause, uh— What
you doin', Wally?
Oh, I'm gettin' ready to
call Mary Ellen Rogers.
You've been doin' that for
a long time, haven't you?
Well, gee, Beaver, I just can't call her up
and tell her I'm not goin', then hang up.
- Gee, why not?
- Well—Well, 'cause it would
hurt her feelings.
What's wrong with
that? She's a girl.
Hey, look, Beave,
how does this sound?
Hello, Mary Ellen.
This is Wally Cleaver.
Pretty good so far.
Uh, I'm sorry I can't take you
to the dance Saturday night...
'cause I'm gonna be
having a sore throat then.
Why not?
Well, a guy could
dance with a sore throat.
Why don't you get something
sick a guy can't dance with?
What do you mean?
Tell her you busted your leg.
Look, Beaver,
what if I told her that,
and then the next day she saw me walkin'
around on the street with a broken leg?
Then you just tell her
you're an awful brave guy.
Beaver, would you
pipe down? Well, okay.
But, gee, one minute
you ask me something,
and the next minute
you tell me to pipe down!
Wally, did you call Mary Ellen?
Yeah, well, I'm just gonna, Mom.
Well, hurry up. Your father
wants to call Mr. Rutherford.
Okay, Mom.
Hey, maybe I'll get her mother.
Then I can leave the message with her.
[Phone Ringing] Hello?
- Hello. This is Wally Cleaver.
- Why, Wally, this is Mary Ellen.
Oh, it's so nice to hear from you.
I'm away at school now, you know.
Yeah—Yeah, I know.
I got your invitation.
It came in the mail at
dinner. Uh, Mary, I...
Oh, that's wonderful, Wally. It's
going to be just a wonderful dance.
A bunch of kids you know are going.
We're all going to sit at one big table.
But, Mary, I...
They're having all sorts
of games and contests.
Well, you've been to the
country club before, haven't you?
Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah. That's
the one with the golf course.
When are you gonna tell
her you busted your leg?
I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Mary, I...
Daddy's going to pick up a
bunch of the kids, and we can
all drive over together. Is
6:30 a good time for you?
Mary Ellen? Yes?
Yeah, 6:30's fine.
Wonderful. I'll see you, Wally.
Yeah. See ya.
You're goin', huh, Wally?
Yeah. Well, it looks
like I'm gonna have to.
You started out to tell
her no. How could a
girl make you do somethin'
you don't wanna do?
I don't know. That's
the way it is with girls.
You'd think nobody could throw a
baseball the creepy way they do,
but they do.
You finished with the
phone, Wally? Yeah, Dad.
Did you speak to
Mary Ellen? Yeah.
Her father's picking
me up at 6:30 Saturday.
He never even got a chance
to tell her about his busted leg.
I'd better call Fred.
Dear, what made you so sure
that Wally would go all the time?
Why, the boy never had a chance. I've
been the victim of feminine wiles myself.
Hey, Cleaver. Some
operator you are, huh?
Yeah, how about that? Goin' to the
country club with Mary Ellen Rogers.
Yeah. Boy!
Gee, I got to,
guys. I got stuck.
- Stuck!
- Oh, yeah?
Hey, how do you guys
know anyway? Never mind.
Boy, have you seen
that Mary Ellen lately?
Is she ever the most! Yeah?
Boy, is she somethin' since
she went away to school.
- Cleaver, how do you do it?
- Aw, cut it out, guys.
[June] Wally? Wally? Yeah, Mom?
There's someone here to see you.
Okay, Mom. Who is it?
Mary Ellen Rogers.
Uh, I'll be right back, guys.
Uh-huh.
Wally, she's waiting for
you in the living room.
Oh, uh, thanks, Mom.
Hello, Mrs. Cleaver. Chester.
Hi, Mrs. Cleaver. Clarence.
Hello, Mrs. Cleaver. Tooey!
Where are you boys going?
We're all gonna watch Wally talk
to Mary Ellen Rogers, Mrs. Cleaver.
- [Giggles]
- Hi. Uh, I'm Wally Cleaver.
Get a load of Cary Grant.
We were just in the department store, and
I asked Mother to let me stop by a minute.
Oh. Oh, do you know the guys?
That's Chester and that's
Tooey and that's Lumpy.
I mean, Clarence.
Hello, fellas. How are you?
Fine. Fine.
Yeah, we haven't
been sick or anything.
Um, do you want a glass
of water or something?
Oh, no. No, I just dropped in to show
you the dress I'm wearing to the dance.
Well, Wally, how do you like it?
Oh, uh, yeah, that's real nice.
Uh, I'd sure hate to see you
spill something on it... or anything.
I'm glad you like
it, Wally. [Exhales]
Well, I better be going.
Wally, could I see you a minute?
Huh? I mean outside?
Oh, uh, sure.
Uh, I'll be right back, guys.
[Wolf Whistle]
I'm glad you like the dress,
Wally. I just wanted to tell you...
There's going to be a lot of
games and contests at the cotillion.
Well, I entered us in one.
Oh, uh, you did?
Yes. I put us down
for the cha-cha contest.
Oh. The cha-cha?
Yes. I just know you're
a smooth dancer...
by the way you walk.
Oh, uh, yeah. Sure.
I'm home, Mom! I'm home!
Hello, Beaver. But
not so much noise.
Wally's upstairs, and he
doesn't want to be disturbed.
How come he doesn't
want to be disturbed?
Well, I think he's
studying. That's funny.
Me disturbing him never
bothered his studying before.
Just you be quiet.
♪ [Cha-cha Beat]
Wally! Beat it, will ya, Beaver.
Sure, Wally.
[Woman On Record] Now that you've
heard the rhythm of the cha-cha-cha,
everybody on your feet
and let's learn the dance.
First we step forward
on your right foot.
Now, back on your left foot.
Now, with our feet together,
we do three quick steps...
Right, left, right.
Then back on the left foot.
Forward on the right.
And left, right, left.
Forward on the
right. Back on the left.
Cha-cha-cha. Cha-cha-cha.
♪ [Cha-cha Beat Resumes]
[Footsteps On Stairs]
Beaver, where were you?
Oh, upstairs, Mom.
You weren't bothering
your brother, were you?
Oh, no, Mom.
Where are you going now?
Oh, well, I'm going
outside to mess around.
Back on your left foot. Forward
on your right foot. Cha-cha-cha.
Forward on your
right foot. Back on your
left foot. Cha-cha-cha.
Am I going too fast?
Boy, you sure are.
Well, now we're ready
to try it with the music.
♪♪ [Cha-cha Beat]
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
Left, right, cha-cha-cha.
Now everybody choose a partner.
Are we all ready?
Hold your partner in the
basic ballroom position.
Not too close.
With the music, here we go.
♪ [Cha-cha Beat Resumes] One,
two, cha-cha-cha. One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
Now everybody
circle the entire floor.
♪♪ [Cha-cha Beat Continues]
Hey, what are you doin'
out there, you little sneak?
Watchin' you dance
with a canoe paddle.
♪♪ [Stops]
Look, Beaver, if you
ever say a word about
this to anybody, you're
really gonna be sorry.
Gee, Wally, I
wouldn't say anything.
Well, I'd be too ashamed to let anybody
know I had a brother who danced by himself.
- I'm not doin' it 'cause I want to.
- Then how come you're doin' it?
'Cause Mary Ellen Rogers stuck us
in a cha-cha contest Saturday night.
Cha-cha? Yeah.
So I gotta learn it. That's why.
Couldn't you just tell
her you couldn't do it?
Well, I don't know. I just
couldn't tell her, that's all.
The other day, you couldn't tell
her you weren't going to the dance.
You know something,
Wally? You're sure having
a lot of trouble not
telling girls stuff.
Never mind that, Beaver.
But will you get outta here?
I gotta practice. Couldn't I
hang around to watch you?
Well, what do you
want to watch me for?
Well, I don't know. I just never saw
anybody walk around so funny before.
Look, Beaver, will
you get outta here?
Sure, Wally.
And look, don't tell
anybody what I'm doing.
♪♪ [Cha-cha Beat]
[Laughing]
Hey, what are you laughin' at?
Wally, you're not really gonna
do that in front of people, are you?
Will you get outta here!
Well, did the boys
get off to school?
Ten or 15 minutes ago.
You know, Ward, it's funny.
That dance is tomorrow night, and
Wally hasn't mentioned it all week.
He's come home from school every afternoon,
locked himself in his room and studied.
Well, you're not against
studying, are you?
No, but, well, when I was his age
and there was a dance coming up,
well, I got all
excited about it.
Well, dear, he's the
male of the species.
We don't get excited
about things like that.
When the night of the dance comes,
we just change our socks and off we go.
Well, I did get him to
make one concession.
I'm meeting him downtown after school
and getting him a new pair of shoes.
Good. Now if you can get him
into a clean shirt, you're all set.
Ward Cleaver, you have
no romantic instincts at all.
Well, dear, I'm a married man.
Beaver, how come nobody's home?
Well, my father's not
home from work yet,
and my mother's
gettin' shoes with Wally.
Oh. Well, hurry up and
put your dirty clothes on...
so we could go out
and have some fun.
Okay, Larry.
Hey, Beaver, I didn't know
you had a record machine.
Oh, that's not my record
machine. That's my brother's.
Hey, do you wanna do
somethin' real neat? What?
Let's play a record real
fast. It sounds funny.
Well, I don't know, Larry. I'm not
supposed to touch my brother's stuff.
Ah, heck, Beaver. He's
down tryin' on shoes.
He's not even here to hit ya.
Well, okay. I guess
we could for a little bit.
[High-pitched Chatter]
[Both Laughing]
Wouldn't it be neat if we
could talk that way, Beaver?
- Nobody'd know what we were sayin'.
- Yeah, but we wouldn't know
what we were sayin' either.
Yeah. Hey, let's play it slow
and see what the lady's saying.
Well, okay.
[Woman On Record] Now that you've
heard the rhythm of the cha-cha-cha,
everybody on your feet
and let's learn the dance.
First we step forward
on your right foot,
then back with your left foot.
Now— What's she
talkin' about, Beaver?
The cha-cha. It's a dance.
Do you know how
to dance that way?
Well, sure. It's easy. You just do what
the lady tells you to do on the record.
Yeah? Hey, let's try it.
Okay.
[Woman On Record] Back on your
left foot. Forward on your right foot.
And left, right, left.
Now, right foot forward.
Left foot back.
With your feet together,
three quick steps...
Right, left, right.
Now reverse it. Left foot back.
Right foot forward. Cha-cha-cha.
- Am I going too fast?
- [Both Laughing]
Well, now we're ready
to try it with the music.
♪♪ [Cha-cha Beat] One, two,
cha-cha-cha. Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
Left, right, cha-cha-cha.
Now everybody choose a partner.
Hey, Beave, let's dance partners—
Like we'd do in dancing school.
Okay. Odd. There
now. Are we all ready?
You lead. Now we hold our
partners in the basic ballroom position.
Not too close.
Now with the music, here we go.
♪♪ [Cha-cha Beat] One, two,
cha-cha-cha. One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
Now everybody circle the entire
floor. One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha—cha...
Cha.
Hi, Wally.
All right, you
guys, knock it off.
♪♪ [Stops]
Gee, Wally, what's the matter?
Me and Beaver were
just doin' the choo-choo.
Look, Beaver, didn't I tell
you not to tell anybody?
Now look what you did.
Gee, Wally, I'm sorry.
Beaver, what's wrong
with your brother?
Well, I don't know.
He's been acting goofy...
ever since he said he was
gonna go to a dance with a girl.
Yeah. It was the same way
when my brother got engaged.
You'd just say hello to him,
and he'd start screamin' at ya.
Well, aren't we quiet tonight.
Yes, aren't we, Wally?
Yeah, I guess we are.
Well, don't you have anything
interesting to say, Beaver?
Uh, some little kid in the
kindergarten ate modeling clay.
- That's terrible.
- Oh, it's okay, Mom.
They're not gonna
charge his parents for it.
Well, Wally, can't you contribute
anything to the conversation?
All I can contribute is that I'm not
goin' to that dance tomorrow night.
Why, Wally, you accepted!
Yeah, well, Dad said I
could decide for myself,
so I just decided I'm not going.
But, Wally, we bought you
new shoes and everything.
Well—Well, we could just take 'em
back, and I'll go around barefooted.
Can I be excused?
You certainly can.
Thank you for a very
nice supper, Mom.
Ward, Wally changing
his mind about going...
- I can't understand it.
- Well, neither can I.
I think I sort of can.
Well, Beaver, what
do you know about it?
Well, Wally can't
go to the dance...
on account of he
can't do the cha-cha.
- The cha-cha?
- The cha-cha?
That's right, miss. The cha-cha.
Well, we could be
down in 10 minutes.
Well, I think an hour's
lesson would be fine.
All right. We'll come right
down. Thank you very much.
Okay, let's go.
Gee, Dad, you didn't have
to go to all this trouble for me,
you know, gettin' me
cha-cha lessons and all.
Oh, it's all right, Wally.
Let's talk about it on the way.
We're going, June. Be
back in about an hour.
All right. Good luck,
Wally. Okay, thanks, Mom.
Mom, girls sure mess
guys up, don't they?
Well, Beaver, there are probably a lot
of girls who think boys mess them up.
Then why don't they
leave each other alone?
Well, I'm afraid that's
something you won't
understand till
you're a little bit older.
There's a lot of stuff I'm not gonna
understand till I'm a little bit older.
Boy, when I'm a little bit older, I'm
sure gonna be busy learnin' stuff.
Well, Beaver, one of these days, you're
gonna change your mind about girls.
- You'll be getting married.
- Well, maybe.
But I'm not gonna marry any silly
girls. Well, I'm gonna marry a mother.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Dear, it's getting late. Shouldn't
Wally be home by now?
Oh, they probably stopped for a soda
or something. [Vehicle Approaching]
That must be Wally.
Now, dear, when he comes in, don't act
as though we've been waiting up for him.
Well, all right,
dear. All right.
And don't ask him a lot of
questions about the dance.
What do you think I've
been waiting up for?
Well, I know, dear, but we mustn't let
him think we've been waiting up for him.
Oh, is that you, son? Oh, hi.
Gee, you guys didn't
have to wait up for me.
- Oh, we weren't really waiting up.
- Oh, no.
We were just sitting
here in case you wanted
to come in and tell
us about the dance.
Well, it was okay. We got there,
and we shook hands with a
lot of ladies in lace dresses.
Then we danced some, and then we
ate some. Then we danced some more.
Then we shook hands with the
ladies again, and we came home.
Well, I guess country clubs haven't
changed much since I was a boy.
Wally, what happened
about the dance contest?
Oh, well, Mary Ellen and
I got honorary mention.
Oh, I think that's wonderful!
Honorary mention!
Yeah. If you don't get
first or second prize,
they give everybody
else honorary mention.
Well, good night,
Mom. Good night, Dad.
Good night. Night.
Uh, say, Dad, uh,
I, uh, want to thank
you for helping me,
you know, gettin' me those
dancing lessons and everything.
Oh, I was glad to do it for you, Wally.
Only thing is I'd be careful next time.
You know, it might be a little
embarrassing to say you can't do something,
but it's a whole lot worse to say you can
and then have someone find out you can't.
Yeah.
Wally, did Mary Ellen
have a good time?
Well, gee, I don't know,
Mom. I didn't ask her.
Hey, Wally, at the dance, did
you have to eat with the girl too?
Well, sure. They had what
you call a buffet supper.
Oh. What's that?
Well, it's where they put all the food
on this table, and then you help yourself.
Oh, like the
cafeteria at school?
Yeah. Only there's
no shoving allowed.
Oh.
Uh, hey, Beave, you won't
say anything to the guys...
You know, about me takin' those
dancing lessons or anything, will ya?
Oh, no, I won't say anything.
'Cause I'm savin' that.
What do you mean,
you're gonna save it?
For sometime when you do somethin'
mean to me and I'm real mad at you.
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont,
Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers...
as the Beaver.
"Miss Mary Ellen Rogers
and the Parents' Committee...
"request the pleasure
of your company...
"Saturday night at
the Mayfield Cotillion.
R.S.V.P. Dinner."
Now, why would Mary Ellen Rogers
pull a dirty trick like this on me?
Well, Wally, I think it was
very sweet of her to ask you.
- Yes, son, it's quite an honor.
- What's a "quo-tillion"?
Ah, that's a creepy dance
where a bunch of parents
hang around to make
sure you don't have any fun.
Wally, I think you'll
have a lovely time.
Besides, this is the sort
of thing you should go to.
You know, a boy can't go through
life wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt.
Gee, Mom, why not?
Gee, Dad, do I have to go?
Well, I think you
should go, Wally, but it's
your decision. We're
not going to make you go.
But, Ward, I— No,
it's up to him, June.
Only thing is, Wally,
I think you should call
Mary Ellen this evening
and let her know.
Well, you mean I gotta call
her and tell her I'm not going...
face-to-face on the telephone?
Yeah. Couldn't he just
throw the invitation away?
No, Beaver. You call her, Wally.
All right. All right, I'll phone her
tonight, and I'll tell her I'm not going.
That's what I'll do.
Um, hi, Mary Ellen.
This is Wally Cleaver.
Um, I'm, uh, sorry I
can't go to the dance...
'cause I'm gonna... Yeah!
Nah.
[Footsteps On
Stairs] Uh, Mary Ellen,
I'm sorry I can't
go to the dance.
'Cause, uh— What
you doin', Wally?
Oh, I'm gettin' ready to
call Mary Ellen Rogers.
You've been doin' that for
a long time, haven't you?
Well, gee, Beaver, I just can't call her up
and tell her I'm not goin', then hang up.
- Gee, why not?
- Well—Well, 'cause it would
hurt her feelings.
What's wrong with
that? She's a girl.
Hey, look, Beave,
how does this sound?
Hello, Mary Ellen.
This is Wally Cleaver.
Pretty good so far.
Uh, I'm sorry I can't take you
to the dance Saturday night...
'cause I'm gonna be
having a sore throat then.
Why not?
Well, a guy could
dance with a sore throat.
Why don't you get something
sick a guy can't dance with?
What do you mean?
Tell her you busted your leg.
Look, Beaver,
what if I told her that,
and then the next day she saw me walkin'
around on the street with a broken leg?
Then you just tell her
you're an awful brave guy.
Beaver, would you
pipe down? Well, okay.
But, gee, one minute
you ask me something,
and the next minute
you tell me to pipe down!
Wally, did you call Mary Ellen?
Yeah, well, I'm just gonna, Mom.
Well, hurry up. Your father
wants to call Mr. Rutherford.
Okay, Mom.
Hey, maybe I'll get her mother.
Then I can leave the message with her.
[Phone Ringing] Hello?
- Hello. This is Wally Cleaver.
- Why, Wally, this is Mary Ellen.
Oh, it's so nice to hear from you.
I'm away at school now, you know.
Yeah—Yeah, I know.
I got your invitation.
It came in the mail at
dinner. Uh, Mary, I...
Oh, that's wonderful, Wally. It's
going to be just a wonderful dance.
A bunch of kids you know are going.
We're all going to sit at one big table.
But, Mary, I...
They're having all sorts
of games and contests.
Well, you've been to the
country club before, haven't you?
Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah. That's
the one with the golf course.
When are you gonna tell
her you busted your leg?
I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Mary, I...
Daddy's going to pick up a
bunch of the kids, and we can
all drive over together. Is
6:30 a good time for you?
Mary Ellen? Yes?
Yeah, 6:30's fine.
Wonderful. I'll see you, Wally.
Yeah. See ya.
You're goin', huh, Wally?
Yeah. Well, it looks
like I'm gonna have to.
You started out to tell
her no. How could a
girl make you do somethin'
you don't wanna do?
I don't know. That's
the way it is with girls.
You'd think nobody could throw a
baseball the creepy way they do,
but they do.
You finished with the
phone, Wally? Yeah, Dad.
Did you speak to
Mary Ellen? Yeah.
Her father's picking
me up at 6:30 Saturday.
He never even got a chance
to tell her about his busted leg.
I'd better call Fred.
Dear, what made you so sure
that Wally would go all the time?
Why, the boy never had a chance. I've
been the victim of feminine wiles myself.
Hey, Cleaver. Some
operator you are, huh?
Yeah, how about that? Goin' to the
country club with Mary Ellen Rogers.
Yeah. Boy!
Gee, I got to,
guys. I got stuck.
- Stuck!
- Oh, yeah?
Hey, how do you guys
know anyway? Never mind.
Boy, have you seen
that Mary Ellen lately?
Is she ever the most! Yeah?
Boy, is she somethin' since
she went away to school.
- Cleaver, how do you do it?
- Aw, cut it out, guys.
[June] Wally? Wally? Yeah, Mom?
There's someone here to see you.
Okay, Mom. Who is it?
Mary Ellen Rogers.
Uh, I'll be right back, guys.
Uh-huh.
Wally, she's waiting for
you in the living room.
Oh, uh, thanks, Mom.
Hello, Mrs. Cleaver. Chester.
Hi, Mrs. Cleaver. Clarence.
Hello, Mrs. Cleaver. Tooey!
Where are you boys going?
We're all gonna watch Wally talk
to Mary Ellen Rogers, Mrs. Cleaver.
- [Giggles]
- Hi. Uh, I'm Wally Cleaver.
Get a load of Cary Grant.
We were just in the department store, and
I asked Mother to let me stop by a minute.
Oh. Oh, do you know the guys?
That's Chester and that's
Tooey and that's Lumpy.
I mean, Clarence.
Hello, fellas. How are you?
Fine. Fine.
Yeah, we haven't
been sick or anything.
Um, do you want a glass
of water or something?
Oh, no. No, I just dropped in to show
you the dress I'm wearing to the dance.
Well, Wally, how do you like it?
Oh, uh, yeah, that's real nice.
Uh, I'd sure hate to see you
spill something on it... or anything.
I'm glad you like
it, Wally. [Exhales]
Well, I better be going.
Wally, could I see you a minute?
Huh? I mean outside?
Oh, uh, sure.
Uh, I'll be right back, guys.
[Wolf Whistle]
I'm glad you like the dress,
Wally. I just wanted to tell you...
There's going to be a lot of
games and contests at the cotillion.
Well, I entered us in one.
Oh, uh, you did?
Yes. I put us down
for the cha-cha contest.
Oh. The cha-cha?
Yes. I just know you're
a smooth dancer...
by the way you walk.
Oh, uh, yeah. Sure.
I'm home, Mom! I'm home!
Hello, Beaver. But
not so much noise.
Wally's upstairs, and he
doesn't want to be disturbed.
How come he doesn't
want to be disturbed?
Well, I think he's
studying. That's funny.
Me disturbing him never
bothered his studying before.
Just you be quiet.
♪ [Cha-cha Beat]
Wally! Beat it, will ya, Beaver.
Sure, Wally.
[Woman On Record] Now that you've
heard the rhythm of the cha-cha-cha,
everybody on your feet
and let's learn the dance.
First we step forward
on your right foot.
Now, back on your left foot.
Now, with our feet together,
we do three quick steps...
Right, left, right.
Then back on the left foot.
Forward on the right.
And left, right, left.
Forward on the
right. Back on the left.
Cha-cha-cha. Cha-cha-cha.
♪ [Cha-cha Beat Resumes]
[Footsteps On Stairs]
Beaver, where were you?
Oh, upstairs, Mom.
You weren't bothering
your brother, were you?
Oh, no, Mom.
Where are you going now?
Oh, well, I'm going
outside to mess around.
Back on your left foot. Forward
on your right foot. Cha-cha-cha.
Forward on your
right foot. Back on your
left foot. Cha-cha-cha.
Am I going too fast?
Boy, you sure are.
Well, now we're ready
to try it with the music.
♪♪ [Cha-cha Beat]
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
Left, right, cha-cha-cha.
Now everybody choose a partner.
Are we all ready?
Hold your partner in the
basic ballroom position.
Not too close.
With the music, here we go.
♪ [Cha-cha Beat Resumes] One,
two, cha-cha-cha. One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
Now everybody
circle the entire floor.
♪♪ [Cha-cha Beat Continues]
Hey, what are you doin'
out there, you little sneak?
Watchin' you dance
with a canoe paddle.
♪♪ [Stops]
Look, Beaver, if you
ever say a word about
this to anybody, you're
really gonna be sorry.
Gee, Wally, I
wouldn't say anything.
Well, I'd be too ashamed to let anybody
know I had a brother who danced by himself.
- I'm not doin' it 'cause I want to.
- Then how come you're doin' it?
'Cause Mary Ellen Rogers stuck us
in a cha-cha contest Saturday night.
Cha-cha? Yeah.
So I gotta learn it. That's why.
Couldn't you just tell
her you couldn't do it?
Well, I don't know. I just
couldn't tell her, that's all.
The other day, you couldn't tell
her you weren't going to the dance.
You know something,
Wally? You're sure having
a lot of trouble not
telling girls stuff.
Never mind that, Beaver.
But will you get outta here?
I gotta practice. Couldn't I
hang around to watch you?
Well, what do you
want to watch me for?
Well, I don't know. I just never saw
anybody walk around so funny before.
Look, Beaver, will
you get outta here?
Sure, Wally.
And look, don't tell
anybody what I'm doing.
♪♪ [Cha-cha Beat]
[Laughing]
Hey, what are you laughin' at?
Wally, you're not really gonna
do that in front of people, are you?
Will you get outta here!
Well, did the boys
get off to school?
Ten or 15 minutes ago.
You know, Ward, it's funny.
That dance is tomorrow night, and
Wally hasn't mentioned it all week.
He's come home from school every afternoon,
locked himself in his room and studied.
Well, you're not against
studying, are you?
No, but, well, when I was his age
and there was a dance coming up,
well, I got all
excited about it.
Well, dear, he's the
male of the species.
We don't get excited
about things like that.
When the night of the dance comes,
we just change our socks and off we go.
Well, I did get him to
make one concession.
I'm meeting him downtown after school
and getting him a new pair of shoes.
Good. Now if you can get him
into a clean shirt, you're all set.
Ward Cleaver, you have
no romantic instincts at all.
Well, dear, I'm a married man.
Beaver, how come nobody's home?
Well, my father's not
home from work yet,
and my mother's
gettin' shoes with Wally.
Oh. Well, hurry up and
put your dirty clothes on...
so we could go out
and have some fun.
Okay, Larry.
Hey, Beaver, I didn't know
you had a record machine.
Oh, that's not my record
machine. That's my brother's.
Hey, do you wanna do
somethin' real neat? What?
Let's play a record real
fast. It sounds funny.
Well, I don't know, Larry. I'm not
supposed to touch my brother's stuff.
Ah, heck, Beaver. He's
down tryin' on shoes.
He's not even here to hit ya.
Well, okay. I guess
we could for a little bit.
[High-pitched Chatter]
[Both Laughing]
Wouldn't it be neat if we
could talk that way, Beaver?
- Nobody'd know what we were sayin'.
- Yeah, but we wouldn't know
what we were sayin' either.
Yeah. Hey, let's play it slow
and see what the lady's saying.
Well, okay.
[Woman On Record] Now that you've
heard the rhythm of the cha-cha-cha,
everybody on your feet
and let's learn the dance.
First we step forward
on your right foot,
then back with your left foot.
Now— What's she
talkin' about, Beaver?
The cha-cha. It's a dance.
Do you know how
to dance that way?
Well, sure. It's easy. You just do what
the lady tells you to do on the record.
Yeah? Hey, let's try it.
Okay.
[Woman On Record] Back on your
left foot. Forward on your right foot.
And left, right, left.
Now, right foot forward.
Left foot back.
With your feet together,
three quick steps...
Right, left, right.
Now reverse it. Left foot back.
Right foot forward. Cha-cha-cha.
- Am I going too fast?
- [Both Laughing]
Well, now we're ready
to try it with the music.
♪♪ [Cha-cha Beat] One, two,
cha-cha-cha. Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
Left, right, cha-cha-cha.
Now everybody choose a partner.
Hey, Beave, let's dance partners—
Like we'd do in dancing school.
Okay. Odd. There
now. Are we all ready?
You lead. Now we hold our
partners in the basic ballroom position.
Not too close.
Now with the music, here we go.
♪♪ [Cha-cha Beat] One, two,
cha-cha-cha. One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
Now everybody circle the entire
floor. One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha—cha...
Cha.
Hi, Wally.
All right, you
guys, knock it off.
♪♪ [Stops]
Gee, Wally, what's the matter?
Me and Beaver were
just doin' the choo-choo.
Look, Beaver, didn't I tell
you not to tell anybody?
Now look what you did.
Gee, Wally, I'm sorry.
Beaver, what's wrong
with your brother?
Well, I don't know.
He's been acting goofy...
ever since he said he was
gonna go to a dance with a girl.
Yeah. It was the same way
when my brother got engaged.
You'd just say hello to him,
and he'd start screamin' at ya.
Well, aren't we quiet tonight.
Yes, aren't we, Wally?
Yeah, I guess we are.
Well, don't you have anything
interesting to say, Beaver?
Uh, some little kid in the
kindergarten ate modeling clay.
- That's terrible.
- Oh, it's okay, Mom.
They're not gonna
charge his parents for it.
Well, Wally, can't you contribute
anything to the conversation?
All I can contribute is that I'm not
goin' to that dance tomorrow night.
Why, Wally, you accepted!
Yeah, well, Dad said I
could decide for myself,
so I just decided I'm not going.
But, Wally, we bought you
new shoes and everything.
Well—Well, we could just take 'em
back, and I'll go around barefooted.
Can I be excused?
You certainly can.
Thank you for a very
nice supper, Mom.
Ward, Wally changing
his mind about going...
- I can't understand it.
- Well, neither can I.
I think I sort of can.
Well, Beaver, what
do you know about it?
Well, Wally can't
go to the dance...
on account of he
can't do the cha-cha.
- The cha-cha?
- The cha-cha?
That's right, miss. The cha-cha.
Well, we could be
down in 10 minutes.
Well, I think an hour's
lesson would be fine.
All right. We'll come right
down. Thank you very much.
Okay, let's go.
Gee, Dad, you didn't have
to go to all this trouble for me,
you know, gettin' me
cha-cha lessons and all.
Oh, it's all right, Wally.
Let's talk about it on the way.
We're going, June. Be
back in about an hour.
All right. Good luck,
Wally. Okay, thanks, Mom.
Mom, girls sure mess
guys up, don't they?
Well, Beaver, there are probably a lot
of girls who think boys mess them up.
Then why don't they
leave each other alone?
Well, I'm afraid that's
something you won't
understand till
you're a little bit older.
There's a lot of stuff I'm not gonna
understand till I'm a little bit older.
Boy, when I'm a little bit older, I'm
sure gonna be busy learnin' stuff.
Well, Beaver, one of these days, you're
gonna change your mind about girls.
- You'll be getting married.
- Well, maybe.
But I'm not gonna marry any silly
girls. Well, I'm gonna marry a mother.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Dear, it's getting late. Shouldn't
Wally be home by now?
Oh, they probably stopped for a soda
or something. [Vehicle Approaching]
That must be Wally.
Now, dear, when he comes in, don't act
as though we've been waiting up for him.
Well, all right,
dear. All right.
And don't ask him a lot of
questions about the dance.
What do you think I've
been waiting up for?
Well, I know, dear, but we mustn't let
him think we've been waiting up for him.
Oh, is that you, son? Oh, hi.
Gee, you guys didn't
have to wait up for me.
- Oh, we weren't really waiting up.
- Oh, no.
We were just sitting
here in case you wanted
to come in and tell
us about the dance.
Well, it was okay. We got there,
and we shook hands with a
lot of ladies in lace dresses.
Then we danced some, and then we
ate some. Then we danced some more.
Then we shook hands with the
ladies again, and we came home.
Well, I guess country clubs haven't
changed much since I was a boy.
Wally, what happened
about the dance contest?
Oh, well, Mary Ellen and
I got honorary mention.
Oh, I think that's wonderful!
Honorary mention!
Yeah. If you don't get
first or second prize,
they give everybody
else honorary mention.
Well, good night,
Mom. Good night, Dad.
Good night. Night.
Uh, say, Dad, uh,
I, uh, want to thank
you for helping me,
you know, gettin' me those
dancing lessons and everything.
Oh, I was glad to do it for you, Wally.
Only thing is I'd be careful next time.
You know, it might be a little
embarrassing to say you can't do something,
but it's a whole lot worse to say you can
and then have someone find out you can't.
Yeah.
Wally, did Mary Ellen
have a good time?
Well, gee, I don't know,
Mom. I didn't ask her.
Hey, Wally, at the dance, did
you have to eat with the girl too?
Well, sure. They had what
you call a buffet supper.
Oh. What's that?
Well, it's where they put all the food
on this table, and then you help yourself.
Oh, like the
cafeteria at school?
Yeah. Only there's
no shoving allowed.
Oh.
Uh, hey, Beave, you won't
say anything to the guys...
You know, about me takin' those
dancing lessons or anything, will ya?
Oh, no, I won't say anything.
'Cause I'm savin' that.
What do you mean,
you're gonna save it?
For sometime when you do somethin'
mean to me and I'm real mad at you.