Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 2, Episode 25 - Beaver and Gilbert - full transcript

The Gates family have just moved in across the street, with the Gates' son, Gilbert, in Beaver's class. Beaver, Larry and Whitey's first impression of Gilbert is that he's goofy since he carries a briefcase and isn't averse to playing with the girls. But Beaver's impression of Gilbert changes when he hears all the neat stories of Gilbert's life - such as preparing to run in the 1968 Olympics, having visited the north pole, knowing famous people and his father being a gunshot wounded FBI agent - stories which to any adult are obvious fabrications, but to Beaver are fascinating. Beaver ditches his friends to hang out with Gilbert. When Gilbert ditches Beaver to hang out with two other guys, Beaver doesn't believe his new friend would do that to him. But when Beaver sees it with his own eyes and that those two guys are Larry and Whitey, Beaver has to learn how to deal with the Gilbert Gateses of the world. Perhaps he has to understand why Gilbert is the way he is.

[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver.

Starring Barbara Billingsley,

Hugh Beaumont,

Tony Dow...

and Jerry Mathers...

as the Beaver.

[Children Chattering]

Hey, Whitey, how come you got excused
from playing games at recess today?

'Cause I'm wearin' my new shoes, and
my mom didn't want me to get 'em wrecked.

Oh.

Hey, how do you like that new
dumb kid that came to our class today?



Oh, yeah. How do you like that
dumb suitcase he carries his books in?

That's not a suitcase.
That's a briefcase.

- Sometimes my father
carries his papers in one.
- Yeah, but a kid shouldn't oughta.

His name is Gilbert.

I once saw a movie with
a man named Gilbert.

He was always kissin' this
lady! Gee, what a dumb kid.

Hey, did you see him at recess?

He started to go over to
the girls' playground, even.

Yeah. Maybe he wanted
to kiss some of 'em.

[Chuckles] Yeah, like
the Gilbert in the movies.

Yeah.

What a dumb kid.

Boy, Beaver, you
really got it tough...

Him movin' in across
the street from you.



Yeah. Gee whiz, I guess so.

Beaver, why won't you
go over and introduce

yourself to the new
boy across the street?

'Cause he's a
dumb kid, that's why.

Hiya, Beav. Hi, Dad.

He won't go over to the new neighbors,
because he says the boy's a "dumb kid."

- How do you know
he's a dumb kid, Beaver?
- All the guys say he is.

Well, I think you oughta be fair
enough to find out for yourself...

whether or not
he's a "dumb kid."

I already know he is, on account of
he carries a briefcase just like yours.

You know he's dumb because
he carries a briefcase like mine?

Uh, well,

Larry says it's all right for people to
carry 'em, but a kid shouldn't oughta.

Well, I think you oughta go outside
and try and get another look at him.

You might change your mind.

Well, okay. I'll look at him.

But I'll look at him from
our side of the street.

Hey Beav, is that my new
baseball you're wreckin'?

Uh-uh. It's just an orange.
Anyway, I'm gonna eat it after later.

Oh.

Hey, Wally, a new dumb kid
moved in across the street today.

Yeah? Hey, has
he got any sisters?

- No. He's just got a briefcase.
- Oh.

Hey, Wally, how come you
asked if he had any sisters?

[Scoffs] Boy, Beaver.

Take your marks,
get set... Bang!

[Gasping]

Hi. Hi.

Whatcha doin'? Training
for the 1968 Olympic games.

Take your mark, get set...

- I saw you in school today.
- Yeah? I didn't see you.

I'm in your class. I was the
one that told about Columbus.

Oh? Take your marks...

What's that on your shirt?

Irvington. Is that
your last name?

Nah, it's the school where I went.
All the guys' fathers were millionaires.

- No foolin'?
- Yeah.

- Well, I think I'll go get my father.
- What for?

To time me, case I'm
gettin' near the record.

Maybe I could time you.

- You know how to work a stopwatch?
- I guess I could.

Don't drop it. It was
made by real Germans.

Sure.

Take your mark, get set... Bang!

Gilbert's name is Gates and he's
gonna be in the 1968 Olympic games,

and his father's got a bullet
hole in him from bein' in the F.B.I.,

and Gilbert's gonna show
it to me, in case I ever

come over there and his
father's in his underwear.

It sounds like a very
interesting family.

It sounds like a bunch
of bologna to me. It is not.

And Gilbert's got a
shirt with Irvington on it,

and a brother who pitches for a
baseball team in someplace in St. Louis.

St. Louis Cardinals?
That's the ones.

A w, cut it out,
Beaver. That's weird.

Now, Wally— It is not.

And Gilbert was almost
to the North Pole once!

- The North Pole?
- Yeah, with an expedition.

And he can talk Eskimo,

and he's the only nine-year-old
Eagle Scout in America.

Well, Beaver, it seems to me
you've found a very remarkable friend.

But, uh, I wonder if we
could interrupt long enough

for you fellas to get
the rest of the dishes?

Sure, Dad. Sure, Dad.

You gotta be 11 to be a Boy Scout.
But his father knows the president.

Look, Beaver, I'm tellin'
ya. Nobody named Gates

has ever pitched for
the St. Louis Cardinals.

Well, Gilbert's brother probably
pitched no-hitters for some other team.

There's nobody named Gates that's ever
done anything in the whole record book.

- You sure?
- Positive.

Well, maybe he got married
and changed his name.

Aw, cut it out, Beaver.
That's only for sisters.

- This guy's just been givin'
you the business.
- He has not.

You're just sayin' that 'cause
you're mad 'cause he's my friend.

Well, uh, what's so great
about this Gilbert goof anyway?

Well, he's the only friend I
didn't always go to school with,

or I wasn't born with.

He was the only kid that was
brand new when I found him.

Oh. [Sighs]

Hey, Beav, tomorrow
I got a baseball game.

If I talk to some of the guys,
maybe you could sit on the bench.

No thanks, Wally.

I'm goin' to the
movies with Gilbert.

His father knows Burt Lancaster,

so he gets to see all
the movies ahead of time.

But he's gonna
go with me anyway.

You know somethin', Beaver? I'd just like
to see where this guy's father got shot.

Well, if I'm ever over there...

and his father's in his
underwear, I'll call you.

Oh, boy. [Sighs]

[Vacuum Cleaner Roaring]

Dear?

Dear? [Turns Off Motor]

Yes? I think I'll go with Wally
today and watch him play ball.

Oh, well, doesn't that
make him nervous?

No. He says he just pretends I'm
not there, so it doesn't bother him.

[Chuckles] Oh. [Turns On Vacuum]

Where's the B—
[Turns Off Vacuum]

Where's the Beaver?
He's in his room.

Says he's going to
the movies with Gilbert.

Oh, say, incidentally, I saw
Gilbert out in the yard this morning.

What do you think?
Oh, I guess he's all right.

But somehow he doesn't look like
the youngest Eagle Scout in America.

[Starts Up Vacuum]
[Doorbell Chimes]

[Turns Off Vacuum]

Oh, hello, Larry.
Hello, Mrs. Cleaver.

I'm on my way to meet Whitey.
We're goin' to the movies.

I stopped to see if
Beaver's gonna go.

Oh. Ward, would you tell
the Beaver that Larry's here?

Beaver! Yeah, Dad?

Larry wants to know if you're
going to the movies with him.

No, I'm not going to the movies
with that big dumb kid Larry.

Well, I guess he thought
you were on the telephone.

Oh, that's okay, Mrs. Cleaver.

Beaver's called me
lots worse stuff before.

Bye, Mrs. Cleaver. Bye.

Ward, you know, I don't think it's very
nice of Beaver to turn on his friends.

He's known Larry for years.

I guess it's pretty tough
for poor old Larry to

compete with the North
Pole and the whole F.B.I.

Beaver, you still here? I thought
you were going to the movies.

Well, I am in a minute.
Gilbert's gonna call me.

Well, it's 2:30. Maybe Gilbert
changed his mind about going.

Oh, no. We made
an official date.

He's even gonna wear the jacket
his uncle, the stunt pilot, gave him.

Oh.

Mom,

you—you think Gilbert
might have meant...

we should go tonight maybe?

Well, why don't you
just call him up and see?

Here.

Do you know his
number? Well, sure.

I got it memorized in my head.

Hello? This is Beaver Cleaver.
Could I speak to Gilbert?

Oh.

Oh, sure. Thank you.

What did he say?

Gilbert didn't say anything on
account of that was his mother.

- What did she say?
- Nothing.

Oh, of course she did,
Beaver. What was it?

Well, Gilbert went to the
movies with two other guys.

Sorta.

Hi, Mom. Hi!

Did you win? Nah. We lost.

- 6-2.
- Yeah.

Mr. Driscoll, our science
teacher, was umpirin'.

Well, isn't he fair?
Oh, yeah. He's fair.

But he's more fair
to the other team.

Wally, after your bath,
give me that uniform,

and I'll put it in the
washing machine.

Gee, Mom. It's just gettin' dirty
enough so I look like a real ballplayer.

Of course, June. You
can't clean up an old pro.

[Chuckles] Beaver get
back from the movies yet?

He didn't go.
Gilbert stood him up.

And what was the excuse?
Another sudden trip to the North Pole?

No excuse, and I feel
awfully sorry for the Beaver.

- Well, he turned down Whitey and Larry.
- Yeah.

Well, of course, he more or less asked for
it, dear, making such a fuss over Gilbert.

Kind of like when you're young.
Fellow puts a girl up on a pedestal.

First thing he knows, he winds
up with her looking down on him.

How many girls did
you put up on pedestals?

Um, did I tell you?
The kids lost today, 6-2.

Hey, Beav, you mean
you hung around here all

day waitin' for that
goofy Gilbert to call?

Well, maybe his phone was out
of order, and he couldn't call me.

Well, he could have
hollered over and told you.

Maybe his mother
wouldn't let him holler.

I'll bet you he didn't
go with two other guys.

I'll bet you he went by himself
on account of some reason.

Yeah. Sure, Beav.

[Larry] Hey, Gilbert,
Gilbert. Throw it here!

[Gilbert] Go out
and cut deep, Larry!

[Whitey] Gilbert, to me. To me.
Hey, Beaver, come here a minute.

[Larry] Hey, Gilbert.
Come on, Gilbert!

Look at your pal now.

[Gilbert] Signal, set,
down, one, two, three, 17.

It's Whitey and Larry.

Gilbert must have ran
into them accidental.

Don't you get it, Beaver? Those are
the two guys he went to the movies with.

[Whitey] Hey, throw
me one, Gilbert.

Oh, Ward. First Gilbert took Beaver's pride
away, and now he's taking his friends.

Yep. Beaver!

Yes, Dad? Come down
here a minute, will ya?

Ward, I'd like to call
that boy's mother.

Oh, sure. Ask her to make her
boy leave our little angel alone.

You do that to Beaver,
and we'd have to move.

- Why don't they move?
- Dear, calm down.

Yes, Dad. You want me?

Yeah. I, uh, just
happened to notice some of

the fellas playing
football across the street.

Oh, yeah, Dad. I
noticed them too.

- Why don't you go over
and get in the game?
- Gee, Dad, I don't want to do that.

Ward, maybe it's too
close to supper anyway.

Oh, no, it's not. Uh, Beaver.

I know how you feel about today,

but the thing to do is to
just go right on over there...

and act as though
nothing has happened.

Gee, Dad, I'm not very
good at actin' like nothin'

happened. Then you
can just stay here and sulk.

They're gonna know
your feelings are hurt.

Go ahead, Beaver. Well...

Okay, Dad.

- [Door Closing]
- Well, dear, sooner or later
he's got to realize...

there are such things
as Gilberts in the world.

I suppose so. I just wish he didn't
have to find out at nine years old.

I'm Johnny Unitas. Hey, can't
I be quarterback for a while?

What do you mean? You're center.

You get to hike me the
ball. Yeah, gee, that's right.

What do I do, Gilbert? You
run out for a pass, Whitey.

[Gilbert] Signal, set, down,
ready, one, two, three, four...

What's the matter, Whitey? Don't
you know a hook pass when you see it?

You want somethin', kid? Me?

- Yeah, you.
- No.

Well, I'm just lookin' for my pocketknife.
I think I might have lost it here.

Go on. Your father wouldn't
let you have a pocketknife.

Well, he would,
too, if I didn't open it.

[Laughing] Okay, guys. Line up
in the "T" formation to the right.

- Hey, Gilbert, maybe we should
let Beaver play with us.
- [Gilbert] Why?

[Larry] Well, if we're
gonna chose up sides,

it's better to have
four guys than three.

Well, okay.

Whitey, you and me'll
choose up sides. Okay.

I'll take Larry. Well, I
guess I'll take Beaver.

Well, it worked. They're
all playing together.

Uh-huh. Guess you were right.

Well, I'm glad it didn't
build into anything big.

Oh, you just have to nip
these things in the bud.

[Wally] Hey, Mom!
Hey, Dad! Hey, Dad!

Wally, what's the
matter? It's the Beaver.

He's comin' across the street,
and he's bawlin' his head off.

Oh, dear. Something
must have happened.

Oh, honey, what is
it? What's the matter?

Come on. Sit down over here. What
is it? Yeah, what happened, Beav?

Well, Larry hiked the ball to
Gilbert and Gilbert got sore...

'cause I intercepted, so he
told Larry to trip me and he did!

[Sighs] Beaver, you have to expect to
get tackled if you're gonna play football.

Well, I know, Dad. But then
Gilbert pushed Whitey on top of me...

and he was on my team, even!

I think he's cryin', Dad, because,
well, all the guys ganged up on him.

I'm not crying. Of
course you aren't, honey.

Wally, I want you to go over
there and sock 'em for me.

- All of them?
- Yeah, especially that Gilbert.

Now wait a minute, Beaver.

Your brother can't go over
there and sock them for you.

Gee, Dad, what's the use of havin' a
big brother if he can't sock guys for you?

It wasn't fair, Dad. It
wasn't fair! Oh, honey, don't.

June? Uh, could I speak to
Beaver alone for a minute?

Well, all right.

Me too, Dad? Mm-hmm.

Now look, Beav.

When a thing like this happens,
you can do one of two things:

you can either
come crying to us,

or you can figure out
something to do about it yourself.

Now, it's up to you.

Yes, sir.

Dear, where'd he
go? Oh, back outside.

Well, honey, he just might go across
there and pick a fight with Gilbert.

Now, June, where would
you get an idea like that?

[Gilbert] Okay, everybody
back for another play.

Hey, Gilbert, come
over here a minute.

I got somethin' I wanna show ya.

- What have you got?
- A somethin'.

Did you snitch to your
mommy and daddy?

Uh-uh. Well, what have
you got that's so great?

I'll show ya.

Wow! Hey, Mom! Hey, Dad!

You oughta see it!
Wally, what is it this time?

Hey, Dad, you oughta
see it. Beaver's got Gilbert

down on the ground,
and boy, he's poundin' him!

- Is that so?
- Ward, Beaver's fighting! Beaver!

[Beaver] Push Whitey on
top of me, will ya? Wise guy!

Ward, run out and stop
him! [Shouting Continues]

Oh, I'll go out and stop them,
but I don't think I'll run. I'll walk.

Beaver, now, stop that!
Hey, go get him, Beaver!

- Wally— - [Beaver] Do you
give up? Do you give up?

It's Gilbert's father! All right.
That's enough, Beaver. Come on.

Come on. Come on,
Gilbert. On your feet.

Stop it! Now,
what's this all about?

I think you better go in the
house. You better go too, Beaver.

I want to talk to Mr. Gates.

Gates. John Gates.
Yeah. Ward Cleaver.

Yeah, Mom, I just beat up Gilbert, and
now Dad's going to beat up his father.

Aw, heck, they're just talkin'.

Of course they are.
That's all right. Pretty

soon Mr. Gates'll say
something real dumb.

Dad'll smack him one.

So I'm afraid I told Beaver that
he could either come crying to us,

or do something about
it himself. Of course.

I'd have done the
same thing myself.

What sort of things has
Gilbert been telling your boy?

Oh, nothing too unusual.

Trips to the North Pole,
and you being in the F.B.I.

Did he tell him the one about his
brother pitching for the Cardinals?

Yes, I seem to have
heard that one somewhere.

He has no brothers.

You see, Mr. Cleaver, Gil has
had a rather tough time of it.

- I'm not in the F.B.I. I'm a musician.
- Oh?

And even with Gil's imagination, he
can't make a hero out of a flute player.

Well, it's certainly a
respected profession.

Yes, but the real
problem is my traveling.

Gil has already been
in ten different schools.

Have you ever been
a new boy in a school?

- Yes, a couple of times.
- Well, then you know.

You always wear the wrong suits,

or you talk differently.

There's always something.
Some kids can take it in stride.

Gilbert can't. So, to get
attention, he becomes a character.

But I'm afraid he overdoes the
aggressiveness. I think I understand.

Come on, boys. Get
away from the window.

Heck, they're just shaking hands.
I'll bet you Gilbert's dad is chicken.

You know, I'm really
surprised at you two.

Did you really expect
your father to go out there

and have a fight with
that man on the front lawn?

Well, sure, Mom. He told me to.

Hey, Dad. What did he say?
Yeah, Dad. We seen him chicken out.

Well, um, Beaver,

I'm afraid I was wrong in sending
you out there to fight that boy.

No, you weren't, Dad. I won.

You see, Gilbert's
father travels a lot,

and Gilbert has been
in a whole lot of schools.

So, he's never had any
real friends of his own.

So, he—he makes up all these things
to keep his new friends interested.

- Do you understand, Beaver?
- Yeah. Sure, Dad.

Yeah, Beav. You know, goin' to a
lot of schools, that can be real tough.

Oh. Does that mean Gilbert's
gonna keep actin' like he is?

Well, I don't think you can
expect him to change overnight,

but I'm sure if you and
the other fellas just...

You know, just treat
him like one of you,

that before long, he'll realize he doesn't
have to brag and show off so much.

- Oh, sure, Dad.
- Well,

you fellas better get ready
for supper. Okay, Mom.

Come on, Beav.

[Footsteps On Stairs]

Ward, I hope Beaver really does understand
about Gilbert, and won't pick on him.

Oh, I don't think we need
to worry about that, dear.

Beaver's too
immature to be a bully.

You know, those boys really thought
you and Mr. Gates were gonna have a fight.

Oh, come on, June. I think
I'm a little more adult than that.

[Sniffs]

[Chuckling]

Old Beav really had that
kid down, though. [Laughs]

When I went out there, June, he
had him down, and he was— Ward.

All right.

Ouch! Ah, shut up, Beaver.

It's just Mercurochrome. You don't
want to get hydrophobia, do you?

You know, maybe that
Gilbert isn't such a bad guy.

Yeah. I kinda figured why
he told me all that goofy stuff.

Yeah? Why?

Well, I guess it's kinda like the
time I went to camp by myself.

I wanted to be
like the other guys,

so when the coach said,
"Can you swim?" I said, "Yes."

Beaver, you couldn't
swim a stroke.

Oh, I know. But I jumped off
the dock with the rest of them.

Oh, boy, Beaver.

The other guys kept swimmin',
and I went right to the bottom.

The coach dragged me out, and he
told me not to do such a goofy thing again.

I guess I was kind
of a dumb kid myself.

Yeah. I guess you were, Beav.

Once.