Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 2, Episode 23 - The Haunted House - full transcript

Beaver has just had a nightmare about a haunted castle filled with ghosts. He needs reassurance from Wally that haunted houses do not exist. Later, Beaver, through his mother, is offered a job walking a dog for 50-cents a day. Beaver is excited by his new job until he learns that the lady requesting his help is the one who lives in the old Cooper house. That house had sat empty for fifteen years, and Larry convinced Beaver that only a witch could live there. In reality, Miss Cooper has just returned to town to fix the place up before deciding what to do with it. Beaver tries to convince Wally or Larry to help him walk the dog - at least on the first day - but Beaver ends up at Miss Cooper's front door all by himself. Once he gets inside, will it be haunted by the witch of Miss Cooper as he expects?

Leave It To Beaver.

Starring Barbara Billingsley,

Hugh Beaumont,

Tony Dow...

and Jerry Mathers...

as the Beaver.

No. No. Please
don't. No. No. No.

Go away. No. Run, Larry.

No! Go away! Please! No!
Go away! Run, Larry, run!

No! No! Hey, Beaver.

Wake up, Beaver! Wake up!



Hey, Wally. Where
did you come from?

Boys, what is going on in
here? Gee, Mom, I don't know.

- Beaver was yellin' in his sleep.
- You all right, Beaver?

I guess so.

Is it morning yet?

No, honey, not yet. Did
you have a bad dream?

It was the worst
dream I was ever in.

Me and Larry were in this
castle, and this man came along.

He was a ghost,
and he g-ghosted me.

Well, it's a good thing
we all know there's

no such thing as a
ghost, isn't it, Wally?

Yeah, sure, Dad. But it sure
sounded like he was seein' somethin'.

It was real scary, Dad.

My feet were runnin',
but I wasn't movin'.



Well, honey, come on now.
You try to get back to sleep.

Well, I don't want to. Well, I don't
want to see those ghost people again.

Now, look, Beaver. You're
getting to be a pretty big fellow.

Now I know you're old enough to
realize this was just a silly dream...

and not act like this, right?

Yes, sir.

Good night, Beaver.

Good night, Mom.
Good night, Wally.

- Good night, Beaver.
- Good night, Dad.

- Wally, is there really no such thing
as a haunted house?
- Heck no.

Then how come we got one
on the way home from school?

- Oh, you mean that dumb-looking
place with the weeds in front?
- Yeah.

That's no haunted house, Beaver. That's
the old Cooper place. Will you go to sleep?

Some of the guys
said it's really haunted.

Now how do they know?

Well, other guys told
'em. Look, Beaver.

As long as I can ever remember,
nobody's ever lived there.

Well, I know. That's
what a ghost is—a nobody.

Larry Mondello's a
scared of the house too.

Ah, that's 'cause you're
both a couple of babies.

Larry weighs 109 pounds.

All right, all right.
So he's a big baby.

Now will you go to sleep?

Honey, you're going to
spoil your dinner. Uh-huh.

You didn't see the Beaver on
the way home, did you? Uh-uh.

It's getting late. I wonder
where he can be all this time?

Oh, there's all kinds of intriguing things
a kid can do on the way home from school.

When I was his age,
I used to go down

to the carbarns to watch
them wash the streetcars.

Why was that fun?

I don't know. It just was fun to
watch anything that big get a bath.

Gee, it sure looks
spooky, doesn't it?

I'll bet we got the
only school in the world

with a haunted house
on the way home from it.

For two whole days, Wally
once had a dead horse.

That's not half as good
as a haunted house.

Hey, Larry, supposin'
somebody lived there.

- But they don't.
- But supposin'.

Well, if we're just supposin',

- I bet it'd be a witch.
- Yeah, I bet so too.

Wally says no one's lived there
as long as he can remember.

Can your brother remember
stuff from a long time ago? Sure.

He can even remember when
there wasn't any television.

- No foolin'?
- Sure.

Come on, Beaver.
Let's get going. Yoo-hoo!

Oh, boys!

Boys, come here, please?

Honest, Wally! Gee, Beaver.
There's no such thing as a witch.

There is too. She hollered at us and
she had horns and a broom and everything.

Boy, Beaver.

And a tail and her
hair was on fire even.

Boy, you better not
tell Dad all this junk.

Wally, if there's no such of a
thing as ghosts and witches,

then how come they
got names for 'em?

Well, they used to have
'em a long time ago.

Like, uh— Like Anne Boleyn.

Who's she? Well, she's just a
real neat ghost we had in school.

She started out to be a girl
and then turned into a ghost...

because this king went
and chopped her head off.

Wow.

Yeah. Now she's gotta walk around in
this tower they got over there in England.

She's gotta carry her
head under her arm.

Does it wobble when
she puts it on her neck?

I don't know. We
haven't studied that far.

Oh.

- Wally, what's that?
- I found it. I'm makin' a handball glove.

Oh, can I have the fingers?

What do you want the
fingers for? They're no good.

Well, I could carry 'em around. Not
every guy's got a pocket full of fingers.

Yes, I'm sure he'd be delighted.

Well, it was nice of
you to think of him.

I'll ask him right away if you
can hold on just a moment.

Ward, would you mind
calling the Beaver?

Oh. Beaver, come down
here a minute, please!

What's up? Beaver has a job
walking a dog. He gets 50 cents a day.

Oh, fine. Whose
dog? Miss Cooper's.

Beaver! I'm getting him,
Miss Cooper. All right.

Miss Cooper?

You know, she owns
the old Cooper place.

She moved back from
Chicago, and she's either

going to sell the old
house or tear it down.

Oh, yeah. That's quite
a landmark, you know.

That was the first house in
Mayfield to have electricity.

My father said people
used to come from miles

around just to watch
the porch lights go on.

Oh, Ward, I don't
believe that. Beaver!

What do you want?

Why don't you come
down here and find out?

I'm terribly sorry, Miss Cooper.

Could I call you back?

Well, all right, if you
don't mind waiting.

Fifty cents a day, huh?
How'd she find out about him?

Well, I've talked to her in
the market. She's very friendly.

Yes, Dad? What do you want?
Your mother has a surprise for you.

Yes. How would you
like to earn 50 cents a day

walking a dog after
school and on Saturdays?

Gee, that'd be great.

- Do I get to keep the money?
- Well, of course.

He'd be delighted.

All right, then he starts
tomorrow morning?

All right, bye. Hey, Dad.

Fifty whole cents.

If I keep walking dogs till I'm
30, I'll bet you I'll be a millionaire.

I'm gonna go tell Wally.
You start tomorrow morning.

You just go and introduce
yourself to the lady. Okay, Mom.

You know the place.
The old Cooper house.

I think I gotta stay
after school tomorrow.

Tomorrow's Saturday, Beaver.

Oh.

Well, I don't think
I want the job.

Well, I'm not very
good at walking dogs.

Uh, Beaver, unless you
have a very good reason,

I think you'd better
show up over there.

You were right here when
your mother accepted for you.

Yes, sir.

Hey, what's the
matter with you, Beave?

I got a job for 50 cents a day.

Yeah? Doin' what?
Walkin' a witch's dog.

- Huh?
- Yeah. The same witch me and Larry
saw over at the Cooper house today.

Look, Beaver. I'm
telling you, she's no witch.

She's probably some
real nice dumb lady.

She is not. Me and Larry
saw her, and she's a real witch.

Look, Beaver, if
she was a real witch,

she'd probably cook up some monster
or something to walk her dog for her.

Listen, Beaver, if you're still scared
about going tomorrow, don't worry about it.

Tomorrow morning, I'll go over and
help you walk the dog for the first time.

Gee, will you, Wally?
I'll give you my 50 cents.

Nah, that's okay. Thanks, Wally.

Ah, heck, I just forgot. Tomorrow
morning I got a baseball game.

Oh.

Do you gotta go? Sure. But look, Beave. I'm
telling you, Miss Cooper isn't any witch.

And anyway, if you
don't take the job, Dad will

think you're the biggest
baby in the world.

Mmm. Yeah, I guess so.

I'll tell you one thing, though.

I'm gonna be real
nice to her dog...

in case once upon a time
it used to be a little boy.

Yeah.

- June! Hey, June!
- I'm in here, dear.

Oh.

I'm cleaning.

What'd you want? Nothing. I just
wanted to know where you were.

Oh.

Found Beaver's speller.

The one he swore the robber broke
into his locker at school and stole.

Yeah, I remember. The same fellow came back
a little later and got his blue sweater.

Wally has a baseball game
today. You going over and watch?

No, I don't think so.
I'd like to, but, uh, he

always thinks I come
to criticize his fielding.

- Well, don't you?
- No. It's his hitting I'm worried about.

Did Beaver go to walk
Miss Cooper's dog?

Yes. He waited for Larry
Mondello to come over.

Then the two of them took a
box of cookies and off they went.

Is that a marble?

No, I'd say that's a
very old jelly bean.

Huh.

Give me another
cookie, Beaver. Uh-uh.

I'm not givin' you
any more till after you

help me walk the dog.
That's what you promised.

Well, okay. At least
let me hold the box.

Okay.

Are you still scared, Beaver?

Uh-uh. Me neither.

My mom says they used. to have
witches, but they don't have them anymore.

Yeah. I guess they
ran out of 'em. Sure.

If this was a long time ago,
we'd have to drop crumbs even.

Yeah? How come?

Just like Hansel and
Gretchen. Did they drop crumbs?

Sure. They had this
mean old stepmother.

And she put them out in the woods to
get them lost, only they dropped crumbs.

They came to a witch's house.

And the old witch told 'em
to come in, and they did.

And it was all scary. Pretty soon,
the old witch opened the oven...

and told them to
get in. The oven?

Yeah. Only they didn't want to.

And the old witch started
to chase them around.

And—And she tried
to stuff 'em in the oven.

And—And... I gotta
go home, Beaver.

How come? Because.

Hey, Larry!

If that's the Cleaver boy,
just walk in. The door's open.

Uh, th-thank you, ma'am.

Make yourself at
home, young man.

Hey, Dad, we won.

I hit two singles and a homer.

Oh.

Hey, Dad. I hit two singles
and a homer. Yeah, I know.

We're worried about
your brother, Wally.

Yeah? What did he goof up now?

We don't know. He came home from walking
Miss Cooper's dog and he won't say a word.

Oh.

Do you have any idea why?

Well, I— - I'll get it.

Well, Miss Cooper. Won't you
come in? Thank you very much.

Go right in.

This is my husband, and this is
my older boy, Wally. Miss Cooper.

How do you do? How do you do?

Oh. Uh, yeah. How do you do?

I was on my way to the
store and I stopped by

to find out what happened
with your other son.

Well, we were wondering
the same thing ourselves.

Did anything happen when
he was walking your dog?

Why, no. As a matter of
fact, he never walked the dog.

- He didn't?
- No. He just came in
and then ran away.

Excuse me. Uh, could I talk to you, Dad,
in the kitchen? Well, not right now, Wally.

Uh, maybe if we got Beaver
down here, he could explain...

Uh, hey, Dad, it's,
uh, real important.

It's about the Beaver.

Oh, yes. Uh...

Uh, well, Miss Cooper, would
you excuse us for a moment?

You know how boys are.
Uh, nothing can ever wait.

What's so important?

Won't you sit down? Thank you.

My husband says that
his father told him that your

house was the first one in
Mayfield to have electricity.

Oh, yes.

They say that people
used to come from miles

around just to see the
porch lights come on.

Really?

Isn't that interesting?

- That was before my time, of course.
- Oh, of course.

Did you find out anything
about the Beaver?

Uh, well, yes. Uh...

I think I can take
it from here, Wally.

Yes, sir.

Ward, I'm sure Miss Cooper is in
a hurry. What about the Beaver?

Oh, yes. Uh, yes.

Uh, well, you know how boys are.

- And, of course, your house
has been vacant for some time.
- Fifteen years.

Yes. Yes. Well, uh, it seems that
Beaver and some of his friends...

have somehow got the idea that,
uh, well, that your house is haunted.

Oh?

Ward, I'll bet that's why the Beaver has
been having those nightmares. Yes. Yes.

- He's very imaginative.
- Well, I—I admit the house is rundown,
but he wasn't afraid to come in.

- Uh— - What would
make him run away?

Well, I'm afraid, Miss Cooper, that
Beaver somehow has the idea that, uh...

That you're a witch.

Oh.

- Oh, I see.
- He is imaginative.

Of course, he'd never
have got the idea at all...

if it hadn't been for all those weird
monsters in the horror pictures.

Well, I'm— I'm sorry
if I upset the child.

Oh, not at all. Not at
all. It certainly isn't your

fault that you were— It's
just that he's so imaginative.

I really must be going.

It was nice seeing
you again. Thank you.

Uh— Uh...

Uh— Uh, Miss Cooper,
before you go, I'd

like to have Beaver
come down and apologize.

Oh, no. I think not. I wouldn't
wish to frighten him further.

We certainly hope we haven't
offended you in any way.

No, no. Of course not. As you
said, you know how children are.

Good-bye. Yes. Good-bye.

Well— Well, I'm sorry, dear.

I guess there just isn't any diplomatic
way to tell a woman she looks like a witch.

Beaver? Hey, Beaver,
you can come on out now.

Is she gone yet? Yeah,
she's gone. Come on out.

What did Dad say? Is he mad?

I don't know. He chased me
out before he got to the good stuff.

- Beaver, Miss Cooper just left.
- I know. Wally told me.

Well, you don't still think
she's a witch, do you?

Oh, of course he doesn't.

Beaver, Miss Cooper was right
downstairs. Your mother and I both saw her.

She didn't have any
horns and she didn't have

a broom and her hair
wasn't on fire, either.

All we saw was just a
very nice, attractive lady.

Sure. She was probably
that way when you saw her,

but she probably only
changes into that for grown-ups.

Uh— Uh, well, you boys had
better get washed up for lunch.

Okay, Dad.

Ward, we can't just let him
go on believing things like that.

Well, you can't order him
not to believe something.

It's just one of those
things he'll have to outgrow.

Dear, he's nine years old.

Oh, honey, no matter what your age,
there's always something to outgrow.

Well! What have we here?

Oh, I almost taught him to
shake hands, Dad. Hi, little fella.

His name is Angela.

Oh. Well, where'd she come from?

Oh, he belongs to a real
nice lady I met in the pet store.

Well, she didn't give
him to you, did she?

Well, no. Well, I gotta
take him home after awhile.

Oh, I see. Well, uh,
who was the lady?

- Oh, just a lady.
- What lady?

Well, it was that
Miss Cooper lady.

She introduced
herself and Angela.

They live in that house.

Oh. So you think
she's a nice lady now?

Oh, yeah, she sure is.

Oh.

Well, I'd better take
Angela for his walk.

Oh.

Come on.

- Dad?
- Yeah?

How come people sometimes think
people are things that they aren't?

Oh.

Well, Beaver, sometimes we don't take
time to figure things out for ourselves.

We make up our minds on the basis
of, uh, rumors and first impressions.

If they happen to be
wrong, then we're wrong too.

Like when Larry said you
find babies in the trash can?

Uh, yeah. Something like that.

Well, uh, is Miss Cooper
paying you for walking Angela?

- Gee, Dad, I didn't ask her.
- Well, good for you, Beaver.

Hey, Angela, wait up!