Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 2, Episode 2 - Eddie's Girl - full transcript

[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver.

Starring Barbara Billingsley,

Hugh Beaumont,

Tony Dow...

and Jerry Mathers...

as the Beaver.

[Knocking] Come in.

Hello, Mrs. Cleaver.
May I come in?

Oh, sure, Eddie. Come on.

Is Wally home? Yes,
he's up in his room.

I can only see him for a minute
because I have to go see my girl.



Well, he's up in his room.

When you have a girl, you can't
spend all your time with the fellows.

- You have to spend
some time with your girl.
- Oh, you have a girl, Eddie?

Oh, yes. She goes
away to boarding school.

My father says that's a pretty good
indication her family has money.

My father says it doesn't pay to
waste time with people who don't count.

Well, it's nice of you to come
over here anyway, Eddie.

I beg your pardon, Mrs. Cleaver?

Look, Eddie, why don't
you run on upstairs, huh?

Well, hi, Eddie. How
do you do, Mr. Cleaver?

Excuse me, sir.

Hmm. That boy is so polite,
it's almost un-American.

Mm-hmm. He just informed
me that he has a girl.

No!



You know, Ward, I hope Wally
doesn't start getting serious about girls.

Dear, I think any boy who still
has to be told to change his socks...

is safe for the time being.

Hi, Wally. Oh, hi, Eddie.

Hiya, squirt. Hi, Eddie.

Hey, Eddie, get your
dirty feet off my bed.

Okay.

What are you guys
gonna do today?

We thought we'd
go over to Chester's.

A skunk got in his
garage last night.

No foolin'? Is it still there?

No, but the smell is.

Yeah. I never smelled
a real skunk before.

Aw, that's kid stuff.

Maybe.

What are you gonna do, Eddie?

Oh, I don't know. I might
go over and see my girl.

Wanna come along?

- I'd rather smell a skunk.
- Hey, Eddie. You really got a girl?

- Sure. Caroline Cunningham.
- Is she in high school?

She wouldn't go to high school in
Mayfield. She goes away to school.

Military school, Eddie?

Squirt, would you dry up?

She lives up on the Heights.
Her school's got a vacation.

Wanna go over and
mess around her house?

I don't know. Gee, I
don't even know her.

Aw, I bet you're
scared of girls.

He is not!

I bet you Wally could lick
any girl in the high school.

Come on, Wally. Her mom
might give us something to eat.

Well, okay.

Hey, Wally. What
about the skunk?

I don't want to
smell it all by myself.

I'll be back later.

Well, this is where she lives.

Pretty keen house, huh,
Wally? Well, gee, yeah.

Well, what do you
want to do now, Wally?

Well, aren't you
gonna ring the bell?

Well, maybe if we hang around,
she'll come out after a while.

Hey, are you sure
you know this Caroline?

Of course I know
her! She's my girl.

It's just that she might be
doing something, that's all.

Maybe we ought to come
back some other time.

Well, that's okay with me.

Oh, I thought I heard someone
out here. Can I help you?

Well, I, uh... Um,
I'm Wally Cleaver.

I'm Eddie.

Oh. Well, I suppose you've
come over to see Caroline.

Uh, well, he did,

but I just kinda came along.

Well, won't you come in?

Okay.

Uh, yeah. Thanks.

I'll tell Caroline you're
here. Sit down, boys.

Well, this is the living room.

Hey, is that her father?

No, I think it's one of
her other ancestors.

Yeah. [Door Closes]

Hello. Hi.

I'm Caroline.

Uh, well, I'm Wally.
Wally Cleaver.

- I'm very glad to know you.
- Yeah. Sure, um,
it's okay with me too.

I'm Eddie.

Eddie Haskell.

Oh, yes. I've seen you riding your
bike up and down in front of the house.

Uh, well, I guess
we gotta be going.

Yeah, we gotta be going.

Well, wouldn't you like
to sit down or something?

No, thanks. We did a lot
of sitting down this morning.

Yeah. And, well, anyway, on the way
over we were kind of horsing around,

and, well, we wouldn't want to
sit on anything and get it dirty.

Well, it was awfully
nice meeting you, Wally.

Um, yeah.

Um, it was, uh, nice
meeting you, too, Caroline.

I hope I see you again.

Um, yeah. Uh, sure.

Good-bye, Caroline.

Good-bye, uh...
Eddie. Eddie Haskell.

Well, Wally, what did
you think of my girl?

Well, she's all right, I guess.

She kind of talks a lot though.

[Chuckles]

That was pretty
funny. [Both Chuckling]

What? Her making believe
she didn't recognize me.

Yeah, that was pretty funny.

Are the boys gone?

Yes. They had to go somewhere.

Oh. That one boy
seemed very nice.

- Yes. His name is Wally Cleaver.
- Oh, yes. I met his mother.

I wonder if...

Do you think I could
ask him to that dance...

they're having at the
club tomorrow night?

Well, I, uh—I thought you
didn't want to go to the dance.

Well, I sort of do now.

Then why don't you ask him?

Well, he looks like the kind of
boy somebody's already asked.

Well, I— I don't see
any harm in calling him.

Well, I might call him later.

Hey, Wally, you want
to take a bath after me?

Heck, no. In high school, they make
us take a shower after gym every day.

- Isn't there any way to get out of it?
- Well, it's not so bad
once you get used to it.

Anyway, the coach says a cold
shower closes up your pores.

Oh. I guess we don't have
any pores in grammar school.

Hey, Wally, does
Eddie really have a girl?

Yeah, I guess so.

She didn't know
him too well though.

[Making Airplane Sounds]

[June] Wally,
telephone. Okay, Mom.

He'll be right down.

Eddie? No, it's a G-I-R-L.

A girl? Mm-hmm.

Well, maybe it's
about his homework.

No, there was a certain
eagerness in the voice...

that didn't seem
to go with algebra.

Hello? Yeah, this
is Wally Cleaver.

[Softer] Oh, um... How are you?

Fine, Wally.

It was nice meeting
you this afternoon.

Um, yeah.

If you're looking for
Eddie, he's not here.

No, I wasn't looking for Eddie.

I just thought I'd call up.

Oh.

Well, I'll be seeing you.

It was for me, all right.

Did you ask him about the dance?

Well, I tried to, but all of a sudden
he said, "I'll be seeing you"...

and hung up.

Well, don't worry
about it, dear.

I'll call his mother tomorrow
and see if we can work it out.

Say, how about that other
boy, that, uh—that Eddie?

Oh, Mother.

Yes, Mrs. Cunningham.

Well, it's so nice of
you to think of him.

Caroline's such a nice girl.

Hey, Mom. I'm home!

Excuse me. Beaver, can't
you see I'm on the phone?

Sure. But I'm home.

All right. You're home.

Well, thanks again for asking.
I'm sure Wally will be delighted.

Bye.

Mom, can I have
something to eat?

I guess so. Now,
how did you rip that?

Watching some men
dig a hole. [Groans]

What's Wally gonna be
delighted about, Mom?

Well, I told Mrs. Cunningham that
he'd take Caroline to the dance tonight.

I don't think he's gonna be so
delighted about that. She's a girl.

Beaver, girls are what
you take to dances.

Uh-huh.

On top of that,
she's Eddie's girl.

Caroline? You mean that's the
girl that Eddie's been talking about?

Oh, well, I don't think
she's really Eddie's girl.

Boys Eddie's age are
too young to go steady.

Anyway, if she was interested in Eddie,
why would she ask Wally to the dance?

I don't know. I guess
'cause girls are rats.

Now, look, Beaver,
when Wally gets home,

I don't want you to
say anything to him...

about taking
Caroline to the dance.

I want to tell him
myself, all right?

Oh, I wouldn't do anything like that,
Mom. I don't like to tell people bad stuff.

[Ward] Hi, Wally. Oh, hi, Dad.

I, uh, ran into Eddie
and gave him a lift.

Hi, Wally. Oh, hi, Eddie.

Where's your mother? I don't
know. I been out messing around.

She's probably in the kitchen.

Thank you very much
for the ride, Mr. Cleaver.

That's all right, Eddie.

What are you doing?

I'm putting these mud cleats on my
football shoes for practice Monday.

[Sighs]

Hey, what's the matter with you?

I've been double-crossed.

Wouldn't Tooey let you
copy his homework again?

Nah, it's not that.

It's about my girl, Caroline.

Oh, yeah. She
called me yesterday.

What did she want?

Well, I don't know.

I guess she was lookin' for you.

What do you mean you
were double-crossed?

Well, I was gonna take
Caroline to the dance tonight.

But I called her up this afternoon. She
says she's going with somebody else.

Gee, that's tough. Well,
who's she going with?

She wouldn't say.

That's a heck of a thing for a
girl to do when she's your girl.

Well, maybe she doesn't
know she's your girl.

Of course she does.

Boy, when I find out
who this other guy is,

I'm gonna fix him good.

I guess you could.

Hey, Wally, if he turns out to be a bigger
guy, maybe you could help me fix him.

Heck, I got nothing against him.

Wally, I thought
you were my friend.

What good is a friend if he
won't help a guy fix another guy?

Well, I might.

If I'm not doing anything.

Well, June, I just think you
should have talked to Wally...

before you made a date for him.

Oh, Ward. You don't think
she's really Eddie's girl?

Well, I just drove Eddie over. He
seemed pretty upset about something.

Dear, do you suppose he
knows about Wally going?

It's hard to tell with
Eddie. Most of the time

he acts like he doesn't
know anything at all.

I wish I knew what to do. You shouldn't
have made the date in the first place.

You ought to consult your
children— I know, I know.

Oh, hi, Mom. Hello, Wally.

I was just thinking about Eddie.

I don't think I'd like it if
my best friend stole my girl.

Oh, Ward. Wally had
nothing to do with it.

I made the date.

I'd like it even less if my best
friend's mother stole my girl.

Oh, hi, Beave.

Hi, Wally.

Did you see Mom? Yeah.

What did she say?
Well, she said hi.

Oh. I guess she's gonna
tell you later—bad stuff.

Well, what bad stuff?

Oh, I'm not
supposin' to tell ya.

Come on, Beave. What is it?

Oh, I can't tell ya.

But I guess if you started
asking me questions,

I could tell you yes or no.

Well, what kind of questions?

Well, you could ask
me about Caroline.

Caroline Cunningham?
Yeah. Now ask me some more.

[Door Slams] [Wally] Dad!

Hey, Dad! What?

You know what she's trying
to do to me? Who's she?

Mom. She's trying to ruin my whole
life! She's doing nothing of the sort...

She is. She's trying to make me go to
the dance with that Caroline Cunningham,

and I'm not going! Now, Wally...

What's all the shouting
about? What you did, Mom.

What a dirty trick, telling Caroline
Cunningham I'd take her to the dance.

Mom, she's Eddie's girl!
I didn't know that, Wally.

You could have asked me. I
would have told ya she was.

Mrs. Cunningham phoned and invited
you, and your mother accepted. That's all.

Gosh, don't I have any
rights? Well, of course you...

Just 'cause I'm a kid, you could have asked
me before you practically get me engaged.

Well, Wally— I'm not
going, and that's all!

I won't go, even if I have to spend the
rest of my life in my crummy old room.

[Clomping]

I was just trying to make
him happy. [Door Slams]

From the sound of things, I'd say
you fell a little short of your objective.

Boy, there sure was a
lot of yelling down there.

Yeah, did you hear it?

No. I hid in the bathroom.

I don't like to
hear yelling much.

Hey, Wally, are they gonna
make you go with that girl?

I'm not going. I don't
care what they do to me!

I don't think Dad'll hit ya,
'cause you're in high school.

- But I was just thinking.
- What?

He might give you
away to somebody.

Aw, cut it out, Beave.

Ward, the dance is tonight.
We have to do something.

We?

Look, the Cunninghams are expecting
Wally over there for supper at 6:00.

Well, I told you you shouldn't
have made that date for him, dear.

I know.

Dear, maybe you
could talk to him.

- Please?
- [Chuckles]

Wally, I'd like to
talk to you a minute.

[Wally] I'm not
going! [Door Slams]

What are you doing? I've got an
idea. We have a couple of hours yet.

If I can get Eddie a date, maybe
Wally will agree to take Caroline.

All four of them can go together,
and nobody'll be mad at anyone.

Hello, Mrs. Dunlap? This is
Ward Cleaver, Wally's father.

[Chuckles] Well, I was
wondering if your daughter...

[Whispers] Dorothea.
Dorothea is busy tonight.

There's that little dance
at the club, you know?

Oh, she would?

Well, no, it isn't with
Wally, Mrs. Dunlap.

It's a friend of his.

Eddie Haskell.

[Flatly] Oh.

Oh, yes, I
understand. Of course.

Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

Well, good-bye.

Well?

Well, it's just one
of those things.

It seems that last Halloween
there was a little business...

about Eddie throwing rotten
eggs at the Dunlaps' house.

Who else is there?

Oh, Ward, honey, I know
you're trying to help me out,

but, well, gee, if it was
anyone but Eddie Haskell.

I know he's Wally's
best friend, but he's...

Well, you know.

Yeah. I guess he is.

[Doorbell Chimes]

I'll get it.

Oh, come in, dear. It's Eddie.

Hi, Eddie. How do you do, sir?

Would it be possible for me
to see Wally, Mrs. Cleaver?

Well, he's upstairs. Yes, he's
up in his room. Go right on up, Ed.

Thank you very
much, Mr. Cleaver.

Ward, do you think he knows anything
about Caroline asking Wally to the dance?

I don't know, but something's up.
He was even more polite than usual.

[Hoarsely] Hi, Wally. [Coughs]

Hi, Eddie.

Uh, what's new?

Nothing much. I
got a sore throat.

I had a sore throat once.

The doctor painted
it with a stick.

Hey, Wally, I wonder if
you could do me a favor.

Uh, who, me?

Yeah. With the sore th...

[Coughs] the sore
throat and everything,

I'm not gonna be
able to go to the dance.

Well, gee, Eddie, I didn't
think you were going anyway.

Yeah, well, Caroline was just making
that up about going with some other guy.

Girls kid you that way
when they like you.

Yeah, sure.

Well, what's the favor, Eddie?

Well, with a— [Coughs]

With a sore throat
and everything,

I wondered, could
you take her for me?

Well, gee, I don't know.

I'm only asking 'cause
you're my best friend.

Well, gee, yeah. I guess so.

Gee, thanks a lot.

Well— [Coughing]

I gotta go home and
put something on this.

[Coughing, Clearing Throat]

Hey, Wally, how come you're
taking Caroline to the dance now?

Well, gee, 'cause
Eddie's my best friend.

I thunk that was the reason
you couldn't go with her before.

Well, it was then,
but it isn't now.

You know, Wally.

Things were a lot easier to understand
when you didn't know any girls.

Uh, listen, Wally, I've got to talk
to you about that dance tonight...

Sure, Dad. When I take Caroline tonight,
what suit do you think I should wear?

I think the gray
suit would be nice.

Yeah, me too. I wonder if Mom
got it back from the cleaners.

Well?

He's wearing his gray suit.

Huh? To the dance.

But he was so against
it a little while ago.

What in the world made
him change his mind?

Did Eddie have
anything to do with it?

Well, I'm gonna go find out.

Dear, uh, I don't think we ought
to ask for a lot of explanations.

Let's just be happy
he's going, huh?

You know, I guess
you're right. Yeah.

Hey, Dad, you
sure this tie's okay?

Wally, we've changed
it three times already.

Just so it looks
okay. It looks fine.

Think it does, huh? Yeah.

Ward! Wally's due there now.

Here's your corsage.
Oh, thanks, Mom.

Um, do I have to
pin it on her myself?

No, her mother will. Think that
tie's all right? The tie's all right.

Are you sure? Yes.

Um, well, I guess
we'd better go.

Listen, Wally, I want
you to mind your manners.

You open the door for her.
You hold out her chair for her.

You don't leave her
alone at the dance.

If she asks you to hold
her purse, you do that.

Gee, Dad, isn't it enough he's taking her?
Does he have to do all that other junk?

Yes, he does, Beaver. And while
we're gone, I want you to behave yourself.

Sure, Mom. I'm just gonna
mess around out in the garage.

Well...

Hey, Wally, how come you don't
want to pin the flowers on her?

What's the matter with you?

I don't know. All of a
sudden, I feel like I could cry.

Oh, for gosh sakes,
June. Come on.

Hiya, squirt.

Hi, Eddie.

What are you doing?

Crushing stuff.

I only get to do it
when everybody's out.

Oh.

Hey, Eddie, I thunk
your throat was sick.

Well, I didn't really
have a sore throat.

Then how come you said you did?

You wouldn't tell
anybody, would ya?

No, not me.

Well, I found out before that
Caroline asked Wally to the dance,

and I knew he wouldn't go on
account of being my best friend.

So that's how come I made
up about the sore throat.

Gee, Eddie.

I don't exactly
understand, but it...

kinda sounds like you
done something nice.

Well, Wally's a pretty good guy.

And anyway, I really made up
all that about her being my girl.

[Chuckles] I never
really met her.

How come you made up
about having a girl, Eddie?

Well, you know
how it is, Beaver.

Sometimes a guy likes
to be like a... big shot.

Yeah, I guess a guy does.

Hey, Eddie, you wanna
crush some tin cans?

Yeah. But I get to
crush the first one.