Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 2, Episode 17 - Beaver Plays Hooky - full transcript

Distracted by a construction company digging holes, Beaver and buddy Larry Mondello are late for school and decide to skip classes altogether to avoid getting yelled at by the principal. But when the hungry boys head for the nearest supermarket for lunch they find themselves on a live, promotional television program, unaware that Wally and June are watching them from the television in Wally's bedroom.

Leave It To Beaver.

Starring Barbara Billingsley,

Hugh Beaumont,

Tony Dow...

and Jerry Mathers...

as the Beaver.

Morning, dear. Hi.

I just have time to
grab a cup of coffee.

Do you have time to grab a
soft-boiled egg too? Uh-uh.

Why aren't you
wearing your blue suit?

What's the matter with this suit? All the
buttons are present and accounted for.



But, dear, this is Thursday.

Don't you have that
businessman's luncheon today?

Oh, I forgot all about
it. I'll just have to

skip the coffee. I just
have time to change.

Hi, Dad. Hi, Mom.
You got my lunch?

Right here. Where's the Beaver?

He's upstairs. He's
changing his underwear.

After he was dressed?
Yeah. He had it on backwards.

He said he couldn't walk good.

Well, I just hope he hurries.

Hey, Mom? Could I get tattooed?

Well, dear, you're
gonna have to ask...

Tattooed?

- Well, of course you can't.
- Gee, even if I saved up
my own money?



Certainly not. Now
you get on to school.

Okay. Bye, Mom. Bye.

Tattooed.

- What did you forget now?
- I didn't forget anything.

I just came to walk
Beaver to school again.

Hello, Larry. Well, Beaver should be
down any minute. He just had to go up...

Hi, Larry. I'm
coming. Hi, Beave.

Beaver, are you
all straightened out?

Oh, sure, Mom. I can
walk real good now.

Now, look. You two have
been late twice this week,

and I don't want any fooling around
on the way to school this morning.

Oh, we'll be there
on time, Mrs. Cleaver.

If we're not in our seat by the second
bell, Mr. Bloomgarden will kill us.

Won't he, Beaver?
Yeah. He'll really kill us.

Well, then go on. Hurry up.

Beaver, wait up!

Wait!

What are you running for?
We're only going to school.

Yeah.

Well, now you look like
a proper businessman.

Well, I have to
every other Thursday.

The boys get off? Yes.

Ward? Mm-hmm?

Why would Wally
want to get tattooed?

Well, I've never known a boy
who didn't want to get tattooed.

Uh, of course I never knew
one who actually did either.

Maybe I can pick Beaver
up and give him a lift.

Oh, no. At the rate he
and Larry ran out of here,

they must be halfway
to school by now.

That's pretty neat, huh,
Beaver? A gasoline corkscrew.

Yeah. I bet you could dig
all the way to China with that.

Is that your own hole-digger,
mister? Uh-uh. Belongs to the city.

You mind if we watch
you dig holes, mister?

No, but stay back. I don't want you
getting hurt and making trouble for me.

Beaver, how come dirt falls apart
when you pull it out of the ground?

I don't know.

When you put it in
water, it turns to mud.

Yeah.

And when you got it in your
ears, you get hollered at for it.

It's funny stuff, all right.

But I guess dirt's what
holds the world together.

Hey, Larry, I guess we'd
better be getting to school.

We don't want to be late
again and get in trouble.

We only been here
a couple of seconds.

Let's watch him dig another hole.
He might hit a water pipe or something.

Yeah.

Boy, what a mess.

Gee, Beaver, look
at my notebook.

There's chocolate milk
all over my arithmetic.

My tomato's bleeding
all over everything.

I guess we'd better forget about
our lunch and get on to school.

Uh-oh. You think the second
bell rang already, Beaver?

I think it rang a
long while ago.

- We'd better get in there, Larry.
- But, gee, we don't have
our homework.

And we're late again.

Miss Landers will send
us to Mr. Bloomgarden.

And, boy, will he
yell at us this time.

Yeah. He warned us twice.

But what can we do?

I'll tell you what we could do.

We could not go
to school at all.

Gee, if we don't go to
school, they'll really kill us.

Yeah, but they
won't kill us now.

Anyway, Mr. Bloomgarden might
get appendicitis or something...

and not get to kill
us for a whole month.

Yeah, if you're gonna get
killed, it's better to get killed later.

Come on. Let's
go hide someplace.

Mom? Hey, Mom?

Wally? Hi, Mom.

Wally! What are you doing
home in the middle of the morning?

The school nurse sent me home.

Oh. Are you sick?

Well, that's what she said, and
I wasn't gonna argue with her.

Well, what happened?
I was coughing in

biology class, and they
sent me to the nurse.

She said my throat
was sort of red.

Oh. Well, come on.
Let me take a look at it.

Wally, your throat's black.

Oh. Yeah, well, I ate some
licorice on the way home.

Well, you can't be too sick.

You go upstairs and get in bed,
and I'll have the doctor drop by.

Gee, couldn't I just lie on
top of the bed till he gets here?

Well, all right.
But you stay there.

Maybe I should call the Beaver's
school. Maybe he has the same thing.

Heck, we couldn't both get
this lucky in the same day.

No, I guess you couldn't.

How long you think
we've been here, Larry?

I think about two hours.

Oh.

How long does it take to
starve to death? I don't know.

I read about some
guys on a life raft,

and they didn't have any
food for a whole week.

And they hardly starved.

- That was on the ocean, wasn't it?
- Yeah.

Well, I think you can starve
to death quicker on land.

What do you suppose the guys
are doing in school, Beaver?

I don't know.

I guess they're in the
cafeteria having lunch.

Yeah.

I wish I had my peanut butter and jelly
sandwich, even if it was squashed up.

Hey, Beaver, let's not
talk about lunch anymore.

Okay. Let's not
talk about lunch.

Hey, Larry, what'd
you have for breakfast?

I had bacon and eggs.

But I didn't get to eat it all.

I had to go up and get washed.

Well, I had French toast.

But I didn't get to eat it all either. I
had to go up to turn my underwear around.

Oh.

Hey, Beaver, I think I'm
starving to death already.

Me too. What'll we do?

Let's go tell a policeman.

My dad says when you're in trouble,
you should always tell a policeman.

Not when you're playing hooky.

Well...

Whatever we do,
we'd better do it soon.

Hey, Beaver,

maybe we could go to
one of the supermarkets.

Sometimes they give
away free food samples.

Yeah!

But one time they
gave away soap chips.

We'll just have
to take a chance.

We can't just stay here
and starve to death.

I just talked to the doctor. He's making
some calls, but he'll stop by after lunch.

Okay. Did you finish
reading your biology?

- Sure, Mom. I read a whole chapter.
- Well, you could read another one.

But, gee, I'm a whole day
ahead of my class now.

Oh. Hey, Mom?

Could we bring the
television set in here?

- I'll only watch it for an hour.
- Well, I suppose we could...

if you get right back to
your schoolwork after lunch.

Hey, Mom? Did you know
that a cow has two stomachs?

I think I've heard that.

Boy, if people were like that,

a guy could eat his lunch
and supper at the same time.

Well, that's one of the
advantages of being a cow.

Hey, Beaver, it
says "free samples."

Yeah!

Hey, there's the line
where you get them.

Yeah! Come on, Beaver!

This is real neat. Maybe they'll give
us some sandwiches or something.

Yeah. Maybe after this, we could find
a supermarket that gives away dessert.

Gee, Mom, I could
have come downstairs.

Oh, you better stay here
until the doctor looks at you.

What's this? That's just a
little beef boullion and crackers.

Gee, I thought maybe I
could get a hamburger in...

before the doctor got here
and told me I can't have 'em.

Mom, would you turn
the television on, please?

All right. What do you
want? Try channel 7.

I think Marshall Moran
goes on in a couple minutes.

He's a guy who shows those
cowboy pictures between commercials.

There.

Right there, miss. All
right, boys, sit in there, huh?

Ladies, would you
like to sit here, please?

Thank you. Down
this way, please.

How come we got to sit down,
mister? The show starts in a minute. Shh.

Right here. Show?

Beaver, this thing's
gonna be on TV.

Shh!

Quiet, everybody. Stand by.

Howdy. Hi there.

Howdy.

Now!

♪ Howdy there! Howdy!

Howdy! Howdy, Marshall!

- Well...
- We would have been
better off going to school.

Well, thank you,
ma'am. It's a pleasure—

Here's some orange
juice. Oh. Thanks, Mom.

Tell me something. Are
you visiting our fair city

with your husband, or are
you enjoying your vacation?

Boy, what a cornball.

Well, I'm here with my husband,
but I'm enjoying it anyway.

I'm sure you are.

And here's your box of
delicious Chocolate Rocket bars...

to make your stay even more pleasant,
courtesy of "C" and "J" Supermarkets.

Thank you. You're
entirely welcome.

They're made with delicious milk
chocolate, with golden honey centers.

And, folks, they're
powerful good.

Gee, Mom, this is real corny.
He's not showing cowboy pictures.

He's just talking to
a bunch of ladies.

Well, you finish that up, and
then I'll change the channel for you.

You can take that
from the old marshal.

Tell me something. Do you
like the show so far, ladies? Yes!

Ah, thank you. That makes
the old marshal feel real good.

Hey, looks like we got a couple
youngsters come to the show.

Welcome to the show, boys.

Well, now. We got a couple
bashful critters here, folks.

Tell me, what's
your name, fella?

- Larry.
- Mm-hmm.

How about your sidekick there?
What's your name, little partner?

Uh, uh, Beaver.

Hey, Mom, that's our Beaver.

Tell me something, little Beaver.
This good lady here your mother?

No. I don't think she's
anybody's mother.

Wally, they didn't go to school.

Uh—Well, maybe the school
took the whole class down there.

Looks like you two boys got a
day off from school today, huh?

Yeah. I guess so.

Having kind of a holiday, huh?

- Yeah. That's what
we're having—a holiday.
- So what's the occasion?

We had a flood.

School was flooded?

Uh, yeah.

Well, I think maybe just
our classroom was flooded.

Now, uh, where are all the other
little boys and girls in your class?

- Th—They're in school.
- Oh, dear.

I thought you said your
classroom was flooded.

W-Well, uh, uh...

Maybe just our two
desks got flooded.

What a dope! First he plays
hooky, and then goes on television.

Looks to me like
you two mavericks...

just kind of jumped
the old corral fence.

I hope the truant
officer ain't looking in.

I'd like to give you a book to shove
down the seat of your trousers...

when your pappy takes
you out to that old woodshed.

But here's your box of delicious
Chocolate Rockets instead.

They're made with delicious milk
chocolate with golden honey centers.

Partner, they're powerful good.

Got me a fine figure of a woman
right here. Let's see if she...

Where are you going, Mom? I'm going
down to that market and get those two boys.

Why, they ought to be ashamed of
themselves, doing something like this.

Well, I thought you were
waiting for the doctor to get here.

Oh.

- Well, I'll call up your father,
and he can go down there.
- All the way from the office?

He can just go down to that
market and get those boys...

and bring them back here by
the—by the scrub of their necks.

Boy, there's gonna be a lot of
excitement going on around here.

I'm sure glad I got
sent home today.

It is the feeling here that too
much time has been spent...

in meaningless negotiation,

and, uh—and that both parties
should sit down and get back...

to the basic
concepts of the deal.

In the next two weeks, we can...

Yes, Grace?

Oh, well, tell Mrs. Cleaver I'll
call her right back, will you, please?

I'm trying to
dictate some notes.

Um—In the next two weeks, we
can make a concentrated effort...

to get the interested
parties back to...

Yes?

Well, all right. Put her on.

Uh, June, dear, I'm
awfully busy, and I...

Beaver's at a supermarket?

Oh. Well, they probably
took the whole class down...

He skipped school with Larry?

Oh—Yes—Yes...

Well—Yes, dear, I know it's serious,
but you can go down there and get him...

Wally's home?
What's he trying to pull?

He's sick? How sick?

Oh. That sick.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. All—All right,
dear. I'll—I'll get him. I...

Yes. The "C" and
"J" Supermarket.

Yeah. All right, dear.

What?

June, you can pick
up clothespins anytime!

Uh—Oh, uh...

Now type down to here, and
if the media department calls,

tell them, uh—uh, tell them I've
got to do some further research.

You want some of
my Rocket bar, Larry?

I don't think so.

I don't like them as much as
I thought I would. Me neither.

Hey, Larry, you think
anybody saw us on TV?

Sure, they saw us. I'll bet a
couple of million people saw us.

Yeah.

Hey, Larry, what'd you have to go telling
that goofy stuff about having a flood for?

Well, I was gonna tell
them we had a hurricane,

but I thought a flood
would sound better.

- You know, I wish we hadn't
have played hooky.
- I wish so too.

Well, I wish we'd have
wished that before we played it.

That was a goofy idea
of yours, ditching school.

Goofy idea of mine?

Don't you remember,
Larry? It was your idea.

You said if we ditched school this morning,
we wouldn't get yelled at till later.

Yeah. But if we'd have
went to school right then,

we'd have got yelled at right
away, and it'd been all over with.

Yeah.

I guess if you're gonna get it,
there's no real good time to get it.

Yeah.

Ward, I've been worried.
Did you find them?

I found Beaver wandering
around by himself.

He was waiting for school to let out
so he could come home. How's Wally?

Oh, the doctor just
left 15 minutes ago.

He says he'll be fine if
he just stays home today.

Where is Beaver? Well, I...

Hi, Dad. Did you find him?

What are you doing down here?

Well, I thought you were
down here yelling at Beaver.

Well, I thought the
doctor said you were sick.

He said I was too sick to go to
school, not too sick to have fun.

Upstairs. Yes, sir.

Ward, where is the Beaver?

Why didn't you bring him
home? I dropped him off at school.

I told him to go in and tell Miss
Landers exactly what he'd done.

Well, isn't that being
pretty hard on him?

June, he broke one of
the rules of the school.

Sooner or later, he's got to
learn that when you do that,

you have to face the
people who make the rules.

Ward, why would the
Beaver play hooky?

Didn't he have enough good judgment
to realize he was gonna get caught?

I'm afraid sometimes good judgment's
something you only learn by being caught.

- Hello, Miss Landers.
- Yes, Beaver?

Miss Landers, I'm late.

No, you're not late, Beaver.
You missed school today.

Yeah, I guess I
sure did, all right.

My father said I should
come here and talk to you.

Oh, he did? And did
he tell you what to say?

No. But I kind of
wish he had though.

Now, Beaver, you're the one who
missed school. Suppose you tell me why.

Well, you see, first
I started for school.

And then we watched
some men dig a hole.

Um, then a truck ran over our
books. Ran over our lunches too.

And then we came, and
the playground was empty.

And we didn't want to get
killed, so we went away.

I see. And was Larry
Mondello with you?

Gee, Miss Landers, my dad just said to
squeal on myself, not to squeal on Larry.

Beaver, I think your excuse for
missing school is a very poor reason.

But it's what happened. I'm sorry if I done
something bad to you and Mr. Bloomgarden.

Oh, no, Beaver. You didn't do
anything to me or to Mr. Bloomgarden.

You did it to yourself.

But, gee, I only missed
one day of school.

Beaver, you're bound to miss
a day of school here or there...

for illness or some
other good reason.

But to deliberately
miss a day of school...

means that you don't respect your
school or the value of an education.

Well, I respect the school. I
never write on the walls or anything.

Beaver, you might have learned
something here today, no matter how small,

that would have stood you
in good stead later on in life.

Why, it's just as though you took a
day out of your life and threw it away.

Do you understand that?

I think so.

I guess if I'm gonna throw any days
away, I should do it with a Saturday.

Well, Beaver, I don't think it's
wise to throw any days away,

but especially school days.

Oh, there's so much to learn,
Theodore, and so little time to learn it.

Well, I'm sorry, Miss
Landers. Well, I hope you are.

Now you won't do
this again, will you?

Oh, no. And to make up
for what I didn't learn today,

I'll learn twice as much
tomorrow as I'm supposed to.

Well, that's fine, Beaver. Now you
copy the assignment off of the board.

Yes, Miss Landers.

Miss Landers?

- Thank you.
- For what, Beaver?

For not killing me.

Well, son, I guess you feel well
enough to go back to school this morning.

You get all caught up with your
work? Yeah, Dad. All except history.

I guess I'll have to double
up on the Egyptians.

Hello, Mom. Hello,
Dad. Hi, Beaver.

Who were you talking
to on the phone, Beaver?

Larry Mondello. He's
coming to pick me up.

Now, Beaver, there's not going to be any
nonsense on the way to school this morning.

- Gee, no, Dad.
- Beaver, do Larry's mother and father
know what happened yesterday?

Oh, sure, Mom. They
know what happened.

I hope he was smart enough
to volunteer the information.

- Yes, sir. He volunteered.
- As soon as he got home?

No, sir. After his father
started walloping him.

Pass the bread, please.