Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 6 - Brotherly Love - full transcript
Wally and Beaver are fighting, about which Ward seems unphased as he sees it as typical sibling behavior. June, however, wants them to stop and act more like loving brothers to each other. After she uses a little psychology to show the boys that brotherly love is a precious thing, that psychology which fails, she instead makes the boys sign a friendship pact, vowing that they will stop fighting, be friends and do everything together. Ward believes she nor anyone else can force two people to be friends. Both brothers want to honor the pact in spirit, but find it difficult to do so as they are individually asked by different people to do two different activities at the same time, which out of circumstance cannot accommodate the other brother. So both try to make the other break the pact so that they can go off and do their activity, but both refuse believing the other will squeal to their mother. Will their outward brotherly love last or will they both end up resenting the other for not being able to do what they want?
[Ward Narrating]
When you were young,
brotherhood meant sharing...
secret and wonderful adventures.
Or enjoying the luxury
Of just going fishing.
And then there were the times
when you and your brother...
had a slight difference of opinion.
And that's our story tonight
on Leave It To Beaver.
[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
[Boys Shouting]
[Pounding]
What are you reading?
Something new?
Something old.
Quotations from the Arabic.
I found it when
I was cleaning the bookshelf.
Your Uncle Harry gave us this book
10 years ago on our anniversary.
I remember that.
We were expecting a check.
Ward, listen to this.
“The love of a man for a woman
will wither and fade and grow old,
“but the love of brother
for brother will last...
till the sands of the desert
grow cold.”
[Crash]
Isn't that beautiful?
I didn't quite get the full effect, dear.
The boys are fighting upstairs.
“But the love of brother
for brother will last...
till the sands of the desert
grow cold.”
That's very nice, dear.
[Shouting Continues]
If you're gonna quote brotherly love,
I think you should get Wally
and the Beaver to cooperate.
[Pounding]
— Do you think they're fighting?
— Either that or they're taking...
the door off their closet
to make a surfboard again.
How can you sit there calmly
with two brothers fighting upstairs?
All brothers fight.
Even Arabian brothers.
I remember my brother and I
used to fight like cats and dogs.
Once he bounced a rock
right off the top of my head.
[Pounding Continues]
—I had to take five stitches in it.
— Your brother did that?
I can hardly believe it.
Come think of it, you're right.
It was my sister.
[Pounding Intensifies]
Are you just gonna sit there
and let this go on?
It's perfectly normal,June.
It's happened before.
It'll happen again.
Well, I think it's disgraceful—
brothers fighting.
If you're gonna sit there
and be so indifferent,
I'm gonna go up there
and put a stop to it
once and for all!
Well, dear, if you think I failed,
by all means, have a go at it yourself.
I didn't touch your junky old airplane!
It's not a junky old airplane.
You took it out of my drawer.
I didn't take it!
You did too.
You're always wreckin' my stuff.
[Beaver]
Let go of me! Let go!
Wally! Wally, you let him up
this minute!
If I do, he'll kick me again.
You bet I'll kick you again!
Come on, now! Stop!
Stop it! Now stop it!
Mom, he took my jet airplane.
I worked on it for a whole week.
I did not.
Anyways, it wasn't any good.
When I sailed it out the window,
it didn't even fiy.
So you did take it!
Oh, now stop!
You boys oughta be
ashamed of yourselves.
I wasn't doing anything, Mom,
and he just came in here
and started punching me.
It was all his fault.
Why did I have to get him
for a brother anyway?
Wally, you're very lucky
to have a brother.
Lots of boys
don't have this advantage.
That'd be all right with me.
Me too.
Well, I guess all of this bickering
and fighting...
will stop soon enough
when Wally goes away.
— Wally's going somewhere?
— He's gonna start to high school next year.
And then he'll be leaving
for college.
Oh, boy!
I'll get the whole room to myself.
Yes, Beaver, you will,
all to yourself.
Wally'll be going away, making new friends.
You'll hardly see him at all anymore.
It can't happen
soon enough for me.
Me too.
Now, I've had enough of this,
and it's going to stop!
Now, both of you are gonna
sit down and you're going
to write out a promise...
that you're gonna start
acting like brothers.
It's gonna be a friendship pact.
You're gonna start doing things together
and enjoying things together.
Now do it right now.
Aw, gee, do we have to?
Right now!
And don't either one of you
leave this room until you've done it.
“I, Theodore Cleaver, promise not
to hit my brother anymore...
and to do things together with him
because he is my brother.”
— There. Now, what's wrong with that?
— Nothing. Nothing at all.
He may have been a little confused,
but at least the spirit's there.
At least I got him
to sign a friendship pact.
Seems to me I recall signing
a pact like that with my sister...
just before she hit me in the head
with a rock.
You're just taking this attitude
because it was my idea.
You never like my suggestions.
Why,June, that's not true.
You've come up
with some brilliant suggestions.
This just doesn't happen
to be one of them. That's all.
Well, at least I did something
about it.
I got Wally and the Beaver
to write out a friendship pact.
Don't you worry about it.
It'll work.
[Clears Throat] Look,June.
Friendship is something
you simply cannot force.
Look, do you remember
that circus gorilla, Gargantua?
They sent all the way to Africa
for another gorilla.
Brought him o i/er here,
put 'em in a cage together,
and the y practical/y tore each other apart
Are you comparing my two babies
with gorillas?
Of course not. I was merely
using that as an illustration.
You practically called them apes.
I did not!
That's a fine thing for a father to say!
I didn't say it!
And I think we'd better
drop the subject right now...
before we need
a friendship pact ourselves.
Now, don't touch the sideburns.
And leave enough on top
so I can comb it forward.
And don't take too much
Off the back.
Your father called
and told me how to cut it.
Oh.
Hi, Wally.
Hi, Chester.
Uh, hey, Stanley,
did my mother call about my haircut?
— Nope, not this week.
— Good.
Don't touch the sideburns,
leave enough on the top...
where I can comb it forward,
and leave it long in the back.
I wanta ducktail.
— Wally, what are you doing tomorrow?
— Nothing much. Why?
Well, my father's got tickets
for that football game.
You wanna come along?
Gee, yeah!
—That's gonna be a swell game.
—We'II pick you up about 2:00.
That's great.
Hey, can I bring my brother?
I'm supposed to.
The Beaver?
Well, we only got three tickets.
Well, I guess I can't make it.
My father was gonna take us back
to meet the coach.
— He and him went to school together.
— No foolin'?
Chester, uh, what time
you say you'd pick me up?
2:00.
It's a deal.
— What about your brother?
—I think I can ditch him.
There she is.
Arrived this morning.
A genuine Cape Cod dinghy.
Boy, that's keen!
Yep. Got her in the water
down in Miller's Pond right now.
A man couldn't help but catch fish
with a boat like that.
Yeah. Wally says you gotta get out
in the deep spots where they are.
Yeah. A feller came in with one,
oh, that long
You know, I never did like
to fish alone.
I know, Gus. Me neither.
Course, this Cape Cod dinghy's
only got room for a man and a half.
—A man and a half?
—Yeah.
Now,just where would a feller go
to get a half a man?
Gee, I don't know, Gus.
I was lookin' right at you, Beaver.
[Chuckles]
You might just
fit them requirements.
Oh, boy!
Would you take me fishin'?
Would you, Gus?
Well, like I say,
I don't like to fish alone.
Course, you'd have to ask
your father and mother.
Could you meet me here at the firehouse
about 2:00 tomorrow afternoon?
Sure. I'll bring my pole and—
What's the matter, Beaver?
As long as I bring my pole,
can I bring my brother Wally?
— We're supposed to do things together.
— I'd like to have him, but like I say,
this here Cape Cod dinghy
only holds a man and a half.
I figure with you and your brother,
that adds up to about two and a quarter.
We could, uh, really get out
in the deep spots where they are.
Okay, Gus.
I'll be here around 2:00.
Good. I'm sorry about your brother.
Just ain't got room. That's all.
That's okay.
I guess I can duck away.
See you tomorrow, Gus.
[Ward]
Now, Son, that's what / call
a sensible haircut
You really showed good judgment.
Yes, sir.June, don't you think that—
Dad Stanley told me about you
calling ahead of time.
Oh. Uh,yeah,
I guess I did mention it to him.
Well, uh, what have you two boys
got planned for over the weekend?
Well, I'm gonna go f—
— Nothing.
— What are you going to do, Wally?
Who, me? I don't guess
I'm gonna do nothin' either.
Yeah. Me and Wally
aren't gonna do nothin' together.
Aren't we, Wally?
'Cause we got a pact.
— Yeah. We got a pact.
—I think it's very sweet.
Uh, since you two brothers
are working together as a team,
how about taking out
some of the dishes?
Oh, sure, Dad.
Oh, sure, Dad!
Thank you.
Well, did you ever see two brothers
get along better together?
No.
Did you ever see two boys
more anxious to be with each other?
— No.
— Then what's bothering you?
—I keep thinking about that book.
— Quotations from the Arabic?
No. All Quiet on the Western Front
Pass the cream, dear.
Where have the boys
gone this morning?
Nowhere.
They're up in their room.
Oh.
They've never slept this late
on a Saturday before.
They're not sleeping.
They're playing... together.
Well, they can't
be playing,June.
Look, the walls are not shaking,
plaster's not falling.
No, they must be asleep.
Dear, you're forgetting.
They signed a pact—
love of brother for brother.
Seems to me I recall you got
another pretty sincere promise...
out of them awhile back
about keeping their room
straightened up.
Well, you have to admit,
it did look better for a couple of weeks.
Yeah, then we found out why.
They'd been throwing
their dirty laundry out on the roof.
But this time, Ward,
what I told them about brothers
loving each other is going to work.
You're always too logical.
I used a tender approach.
A woman gets results
using her heart, not her head.
Oh, now, June,
that simply doesn't hold up.
A man's head's always been softer
than a woman's heart.
That didn't come out quite right,
But I think you got what I meant.
Oh,yes, I did.
But don't you worry about this pact.
It's gonna work.
Okay. Carry on.
I have to take the car down
and get the battery recharged.
That's six games I won.
Yeah, it's real fun
playing with your brother.
Yeah.
Say, Beaver, are you sure
you don't have anything
to do today?
Not unless it's with you.
It says so in the pact.
Yeah, but if you got anything special to do,
you go right ahead and do it.
Not me.
I wouldn't break the pact.
Yeah.
Of course,
If you have anything special to do,
you go right ahead and do it.
[Phone Ringing]
What are you trying to do,
get me in trouble?
You just want me to break the pact
so you can squeal to Mom.
No, I don't.
[June]
Wally!
Yea h, Mom ?
Telephone.
Be right there.
[Door Opens, Closes]
We'll pick you up at 2:00
for the football game.
— Yeah, sure.
— And my dad says to wear a jacket.
We might go to dinner
after we meet the coach.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, fine. Gotcha.
— Who was that, Wally?
— Where?
Oh, you mean on the phone.
Yes, I mean on the phone.
Just somebody that called up.
What did he want?
You know how it is.
Guys are always calling you up.
I know. But who was
the guy that called ya up?
How would I know?
It was so long ago, I forget.
Yeah.
What time is it, Wally?
[Wally]
Almost 72:00.
[Beaver]
Wally, are you in here?
[Wally]
Beaver?
Beaver, are you in there?
Whew!
— Hi, Wally.
— Uh, where were you goin'?
Who, me?
Yeah.
I was goin' out on the roof
to practice fishing.
Oh, you were goin' out on the roof
and practice fishin', huh?
Yeah.
What are you doin'
with a pennant and jacket?
— Practicing for football?
— Now, look, Beave,
you don't have to kid around with me.
If you got someplace you wanna go,
you just say so,
and we'll forget about the pact.
Oh, no.
You'll squeal on me.
— Anyway, we signed it in blood.
— That was red ink.
You said it was the same thing.
Okay, we'll stick to the pact.
Hi.
Did you get the battery recharged?
I didn't have to.
They sold me a new one.
Always do.
Uh, how are the boys?
Have they recovered their normal
antagonism for each other?
Not at all.
They've had a wonderful time
together all morning.
I haven't heard a word out of them.
They must be coming down with colds.
What time is it now?
Twenty to 2:00.
Aren't you hot in that jacket?
No.
Hey, Beaver, aren't you supposed
to take a nap on Saturday?
Sometimes.
I'll go downstairs
so I don't disturb ya.
Downstairs?
You're just trying to sneak away.
No, I'm not.
To prove it,
I'll stay up here
and take a nap with ya.
Okay.
Okay.
No, Tom, I haven't heard
anything about it.
Oh, the boys know.
Well, yeah, sure. Fine.
Okay. Good—bye.
That was Tom Anderson.
He says that he and Chester
are supposed to take Wally
to a football game this afternoon.
He must be mistaken.
Wally and the Beaver...
are planning to spend
the whole day together.
[Mutters]
Ward, you don't suppose they're
going back on their agreement?
Now, now.
Don't lose your confidence.
He probably made the date
before you gave him your speech
on brotherly love.
Hey!
Where are you goin'?
I think I'm walking in my sleep.
Don't give me that.
You're just trying to sneak off
and go fishin'.
Me? Go fishin'?
But, Wally, we had a deal—
[Door0pens]
Oh, uh, Beaver, Lieutenant Gus,
the fireman, is downstairs to see you.
To see me, Dad?
Yeah.
He says you have a date
to go fishing.
Fishing?
I don't remember making a date.
And anyways, I can't go.
I don't think I feel so good.
I see. Well, uh,
You just take it easy.
I'll tell him.
Well,you little sneak.
You had a date to go fishin'
all the time.
You were gonna go off
and leave me stuck with a pact.
I oughta tell Mom on you.
[Horn Honks]
What was that?
Nothing.
[Honking Continues]
That was another nothing.
Somebody's honkin' for somebody.
Hey, Beaver, don't you know
it's not polite to stare out a window?
Wally!
It's Chester and Mr. Anderson.
I wonder what they want?
Search me.
Hey, Wally, hurry up!
We'll be late for the football game!
I can't go!
[Engine Starts]
Wally.
it looks like we're both
a couple of sneaks, doesn't it?
[Car Departing]
Oh, Ward, isn't it wonderful?
Yeah, I love liverwurst.
Oh, I mean the boys—
the way they've gotten along today.
They've spent the whole day
together in their room.
They sure have.
The whole day.
Why do you say it like that?
You're always so cynical.
If you'd had a sister
who bounced rocks off your head,
every hour, on the hour,
you'd be cynical too.
Hey, Beaver,
get your feet off my bed.
It's half my bed.
Then get your feet
on your own half.
I don't want to.
Now, look, Beave,
don't give me any trouble.
You made me miss
a good football game.
You made me miss
going fishing with Gus.
I don't care.
Get your feet off.
Make me.
— Ow!
— [Pounding]
Ward, they're fighting!
Uh-huh.
[Boys Shouting]
But why?
Well, Wally was going
to the football game
with Chester Anderson,
and Beaver was going fishing
with Lieutenant Gus.
[Wally] You kick me again, I'll slug you'
But after they signed the pact
and they promised!
Let go of my hair!
If I had to have a brother,
why'd it have to be an ape like you?
— You're a bigger ape!
— [Shouting Continues]
Oh, Ward, I've just failed
as a parent!
From the sound of things,
I'd say they were succeeding
as children.
Where's the mustard?
[Beaver]
Get ofi'me, you big—
Oh, Ward!
Ward, please do something!
They'll hurt each other.
Well, I always felt these things
sort of worked themselves out.
But if you insist—
Thank you, dear.
[Fighting Continues]
And, Ward,
you have my promise,
I'll never listen
to another Arab again.
[Pounding]
Hi, Gus.
Oh, it's you, Beaver.
You stood me up yesterday.
I didn't mean
to “stood“ you up, Gus.
Well, you see, Gus,
it was kind of my fault.
Yeah. Me and Wally
had to stay home and have a fight.
Don't tell me you two fellas
don't like each other?
Well, sometimes we do
and sometimes we don't.
— But it all evens up.
- Uh-huh.
You know, fellas, I was just thinking
about that new Cape Cod dinghy of mine.
It's sitting down there
in Miller's Pond right now
Sittin' there all by itself
— Thinkin' of goin' fishing, Gus?
— No, no. No.
I gotta hang around here.
Never tell when this whole town
might go up in flames.
Yeah, I guess so.
I was just thinkin', Beaver.
You and your brother just might make
a man and a half in that boat...
and still leave room
for the fish.
Oh, boy!
Yeah, Wally?
Sure, Beave.
Thanks a lot, Gus!
Let's go home and get our poles.
Uh—
When you were young,
brotherhood meant sharing...
secret and wonderful adventures.
Or enjoying the luxury
Of just going fishing.
And then there were the times
when you and your brother...
had a slight difference of opinion.
And that's our story tonight
on Leave It To Beaver.
[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
[Boys Shouting]
[Pounding]
What are you reading?
Something new?
Something old.
Quotations from the Arabic.
I found it when
I was cleaning the bookshelf.
Your Uncle Harry gave us this book
10 years ago on our anniversary.
I remember that.
We were expecting a check.
Ward, listen to this.
“The love of a man for a woman
will wither and fade and grow old,
“but the love of brother
for brother will last...
till the sands of the desert
grow cold.”
[Crash]
Isn't that beautiful?
I didn't quite get the full effect, dear.
The boys are fighting upstairs.
“But the love of brother
for brother will last...
till the sands of the desert
grow cold.”
That's very nice, dear.
[Shouting Continues]
If you're gonna quote brotherly love,
I think you should get Wally
and the Beaver to cooperate.
[Pounding]
— Do you think they're fighting?
— Either that or they're taking...
the door off their closet
to make a surfboard again.
How can you sit there calmly
with two brothers fighting upstairs?
All brothers fight.
Even Arabian brothers.
I remember my brother and I
used to fight like cats and dogs.
Once he bounced a rock
right off the top of my head.
[Pounding Continues]
—I had to take five stitches in it.
— Your brother did that?
I can hardly believe it.
Come think of it, you're right.
It was my sister.
[Pounding Intensifies]
Are you just gonna sit there
and let this go on?
It's perfectly normal,June.
It's happened before.
It'll happen again.
Well, I think it's disgraceful—
brothers fighting.
If you're gonna sit there
and be so indifferent,
I'm gonna go up there
and put a stop to it
once and for all!
Well, dear, if you think I failed,
by all means, have a go at it yourself.
I didn't touch your junky old airplane!
It's not a junky old airplane.
You took it out of my drawer.
I didn't take it!
You did too.
You're always wreckin' my stuff.
[Beaver]
Let go of me! Let go!
Wally! Wally, you let him up
this minute!
If I do, he'll kick me again.
You bet I'll kick you again!
Come on, now! Stop!
Stop it! Now stop it!
Mom, he took my jet airplane.
I worked on it for a whole week.
I did not.
Anyways, it wasn't any good.
When I sailed it out the window,
it didn't even fiy.
So you did take it!
Oh, now stop!
You boys oughta be
ashamed of yourselves.
I wasn't doing anything, Mom,
and he just came in here
and started punching me.
It was all his fault.
Why did I have to get him
for a brother anyway?
Wally, you're very lucky
to have a brother.
Lots of boys
don't have this advantage.
That'd be all right with me.
Me too.
Well, I guess all of this bickering
and fighting...
will stop soon enough
when Wally goes away.
— Wally's going somewhere?
— He's gonna start to high school next year.
And then he'll be leaving
for college.
Oh, boy!
I'll get the whole room to myself.
Yes, Beaver, you will,
all to yourself.
Wally'll be going away, making new friends.
You'll hardly see him at all anymore.
It can't happen
soon enough for me.
Me too.
Now, I've had enough of this,
and it's going to stop!
Now, both of you are gonna
sit down and you're going
to write out a promise...
that you're gonna start
acting like brothers.
It's gonna be a friendship pact.
You're gonna start doing things together
and enjoying things together.
Now do it right now.
Aw, gee, do we have to?
Right now!
And don't either one of you
leave this room until you've done it.
“I, Theodore Cleaver, promise not
to hit my brother anymore...
and to do things together with him
because he is my brother.”
— There. Now, what's wrong with that?
— Nothing. Nothing at all.
He may have been a little confused,
but at least the spirit's there.
At least I got him
to sign a friendship pact.
Seems to me I recall signing
a pact like that with my sister...
just before she hit me in the head
with a rock.
You're just taking this attitude
because it was my idea.
You never like my suggestions.
Why,June, that's not true.
You've come up
with some brilliant suggestions.
This just doesn't happen
to be one of them. That's all.
Well, at least I did something
about it.
I got Wally and the Beaver
to write out a friendship pact.
Don't you worry about it.
It'll work.
[Clears Throat] Look,June.
Friendship is something
you simply cannot force.
Look, do you remember
that circus gorilla, Gargantua?
They sent all the way to Africa
for another gorilla.
Brought him o i/er here,
put 'em in a cage together,
and the y practical/y tore each other apart
Are you comparing my two babies
with gorillas?
Of course not. I was merely
using that as an illustration.
You practically called them apes.
I did not!
That's a fine thing for a father to say!
I didn't say it!
And I think we'd better
drop the subject right now...
before we need
a friendship pact ourselves.
Now, don't touch the sideburns.
And leave enough on top
so I can comb it forward.
And don't take too much
Off the back.
Your father called
and told me how to cut it.
Oh.
Hi, Wally.
Hi, Chester.
Uh, hey, Stanley,
did my mother call about my haircut?
— Nope, not this week.
— Good.
Don't touch the sideburns,
leave enough on the top...
where I can comb it forward,
and leave it long in the back.
I wanta ducktail.
— Wally, what are you doing tomorrow?
— Nothing much. Why?
Well, my father's got tickets
for that football game.
You wanna come along?
Gee, yeah!
—That's gonna be a swell game.
—We'II pick you up about 2:00.
That's great.
Hey, can I bring my brother?
I'm supposed to.
The Beaver?
Well, we only got three tickets.
Well, I guess I can't make it.
My father was gonna take us back
to meet the coach.
— He and him went to school together.
— No foolin'?
Chester, uh, what time
you say you'd pick me up?
2:00.
It's a deal.
— What about your brother?
—I think I can ditch him.
There she is.
Arrived this morning.
A genuine Cape Cod dinghy.
Boy, that's keen!
Yep. Got her in the water
down in Miller's Pond right now.
A man couldn't help but catch fish
with a boat like that.
Yeah. Wally says you gotta get out
in the deep spots where they are.
Yeah. A feller came in with one,
oh, that long
You know, I never did like
to fish alone.
I know, Gus. Me neither.
Course, this Cape Cod dinghy's
only got room for a man and a half.
—A man and a half?
—Yeah.
Now,just where would a feller go
to get a half a man?
Gee, I don't know, Gus.
I was lookin' right at you, Beaver.
[Chuckles]
You might just
fit them requirements.
Oh, boy!
Would you take me fishin'?
Would you, Gus?
Well, like I say,
I don't like to fish alone.
Course, you'd have to ask
your father and mother.
Could you meet me here at the firehouse
about 2:00 tomorrow afternoon?
Sure. I'll bring my pole and—
What's the matter, Beaver?
As long as I bring my pole,
can I bring my brother Wally?
— We're supposed to do things together.
— I'd like to have him, but like I say,
this here Cape Cod dinghy
only holds a man and a half.
I figure with you and your brother,
that adds up to about two and a quarter.
We could, uh, really get out
in the deep spots where they are.
Okay, Gus.
I'll be here around 2:00.
Good. I'm sorry about your brother.
Just ain't got room. That's all.
That's okay.
I guess I can duck away.
See you tomorrow, Gus.
[Ward]
Now, Son, that's what / call
a sensible haircut
You really showed good judgment.
Yes, sir.June, don't you think that—
Dad Stanley told me about you
calling ahead of time.
Oh. Uh,yeah,
I guess I did mention it to him.
Well, uh, what have you two boys
got planned for over the weekend?
Well, I'm gonna go f—
— Nothing.
— What are you going to do, Wally?
Who, me? I don't guess
I'm gonna do nothin' either.
Yeah. Me and Wally
aren't gonna do nothin' together.
Aren't we, Wally?
'Cause we got a pact.
— Yeah. We got a pact.
—I think it's very sweet.
Uh, since you two brothers
are working together as a team,
how about taking out
some of the dishes?
Oh, sure, Dad.
Oh, sure, Dad!
Thank you.
Well, did you ever see two brothers
get along better together?
No.
Did you ever see two boys
more anxious to be with each other?
— No.
— Then what's bothering you?
—I keep thinking about that book.
— Quotations from the Arabic?
No. All Quiet on the Western Front
Pass the cream, dear.
Where have the boys
gone this morning?
Nowhere.
They're up in their room.
Oh.
They've never slept this late
on a Saturday before.
They're not sleeping.
They're playing... together.
Well, they can't
be playing,June.
Look, the walls are not shaking,
plaster's not falling.
No, they must be asleep.
Dear, you're forgetting.
They signed a pact—
love of brother for brother.
Seems to me I recall you got
another pretty sincere promise...
out of them awhile back
about keeping their room
straightened up.
Well, you have to admit,
it did look better for a couple of weeks.
Yeah, then we found out why.
They'd been throwing
their dirty laundry out on the roof.
But this time, Ward,
what I told them about brothers
loving each other is going to work.
You're always too logical.
I used a tender approach.
A woman gets results
using her heart, not her head.
Oh, now, June,
that simply doesn't hold up.
A man's head's always been softer
than a woman's heart.
That didn't come out quite right,
But I think you got what I meant.
Oh,yes, I did.
But don't you worry about this pact.
It's gonna work.
Okay. Carry on.
I have to take the car down
and get the battery recharged.
That's six games I won.
Yeah, it's real fun
playing with your brother.
Yeah.
Say, Beaver, are you sure
you don't have anything
to do today?
Not unless it's with you.
It says so in the pact.
Yeah, but if you got anything special to do,
you go right ahead and do it.
Not me.
I wouldn't break the pact.
Yeah.
Of course,
If you have anything special to do,
you go right ahead and do it.
[Phone Ringing]
What are you trying to do,
get me in trouble?
You just want me to break the pact
so you can squeal to Mom.
No, I don't.
[June]
Wally!
Yea h, Mom ?
Telephone.
Be right there.
[Door Opens, Closes]
We'll pick you up at 2:00
for the football game.
— Yeah, sure.
— And my dad says to wear a jacket.
We might go to dinner
after we meet the coach.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, fine. Gotcha.
— Who was that, Wally?
— Where?
Oh, you mean on the phone.
Yes, I mean on the phone.
Just somebody that called up.
What did he want?
You know how it is.
Guys are always calling you up.
I know. But who was
the guy that called ya up?
How would I know?
It was so long ago, I forget.
Yeah.
What time is it, Wally?
[Wally]
Almost 72:00.
[Beaver]
Wally, are you in here?
[Wally]
Beaver?
Beaver, are you in there?
Whew!
— Hi, Wally.
— Uh, where were you goin'?
Who, me?
Yeah.
I was goin' out on the roof
to practice fishing.
Oh, you were goin' out on the roof
and practice fishin', huh?
Yeah.
What are you doin'
with a pennant and jacket?
— Practicing for football?
— Now, look, Beave,
you don't have to kid around with me.
If you got someplace you wanna go,
you just say so,
and we'll forget about the pact.
Oh, no.
You'll squeal on me.
— Anyway, we signed it in blood.
— That was red ink.
You said it was the same thing.
Okay, we'll stick to the pact.
Hi.
Did you get the battery recharged?
I didn't have to.
They sold me a new one.
Always do.
Uh, how are the boys?
Have they recovered their normal
antagonism for each other?
Not at all.
They've had a wonderful time
together all morning.
I haven't heard a word out of them.
They must be coming down with colds.
What time is it now?
Twenty to 2:00.
Aren't you hot in that jacket?
No.
Hey, Beaver, aren't you supposed
to take a nap on Saturday?
Sometimes.
I'll go downstairs
so I don't disturb ya.
Downstairs?
You're just trying to sneak away.
No, I'm not.
To prove it,
I'll stay up here
and take a nap with ya.
Okay.
Okay.
No, Tom, I haven't heard
anything about it.
Oh, the boys know.
Well, yeah, sure. Fine.
Okay. Good—bye.
That was Tom Anderson.
He says that he and Chester
are supposed to take Wally
to a football game this afternoon.
He must be mistaken.
Wally and the Beaver...
are planning to spend
the whole day together.
[Mutters]
Ward, you don't suppose they're
going back on their agreement?
Now, now.
Don't lose your confidence.
He probably made the date
before you gave him your speech
on brotherly love.
Hey!
Where are you goin'?
I think I'm walking in my sleep.
Don't give me that.
You're just trying to sneak off
and go fishin'.
Me? Go fishin'?
But, Wally, we had a deal—
[Door0pens]
Oh, uh, Beaver, Lieutenant Gus,
the fireman, is downstairs to see you.
To see me, Dad?
Yeah.
He says you have a date
to go fishing.
Fishing?
I don't remember making a date.
And anyways, I can't go.
I don't think I feel so good.
I see. Well, uh,
You just take it easy.
I'll tell him.
Well,you little sneak.
You had a date to go fishin'
all the time.
You were gonna go off
and leave me stuck with a pact.
I oughta tell Mom on you.
[Horn Honks]
What was that?
Nothing.
[Honking Continues]
That was another nothing.
Somebody's honkin' for somebody.
Hey, Beaver, don't you know
it's not polite to stare out a window?
Wally!
It's Chester and Mr. Anderson.
I wonder what they want?
Search me.
Hey, Wally, hurry up!
We'll be late for the football game!
I can't go!
[Engine Starts]
Wally.
it looks like we're both
a couple of sneaks, doesn't it?
[Car Departing]
Oh, Ward, isn't it wonderful?
Yeah, I love liverwurst.
Oh, I mean the boys—
the way they've gotten along today.
They've spent the whole day
together in their room.
They sure have.
The whole day.
Why do you say it like that?
You're always so cynical.
If you'd had a sister
who bounced rocks off your head,
every hour, on the hour,
you'd be cynical too.
Hey, Beaver,
get your feet off my bed.
It's half my bed.
Then get your feet
on your own half.
I don't want to.
Now, look, Beave,
don't give me any trouble.
You made me miss
a good football game.
You made me miss
going fishing with Gus.
I don't care.
Get your feet off.
Make me.
— Ow!
— [Pounding]
Ward, they're fighting!
Uh-huh.
[Boys Shouting]
But why?
Well, Wally was going
to the football game
with Chester Anderson,
and Beaver was going fishing
with Lieutenant Gus.
[Wally] You kick me again, I'll slug you'
But after they signed the pact
and they promised!
Let go of my hair!
If I had to have a brother,
why'd it have to be an ape like you?
— You're a bigger ape!
— [Shouting Continues]
Oh, Ward, I've just failed
as a parent!
From the sound of things,
I'd say they were succeeding
as children.
Where's the mustard?
[Beaver]
Get ofi'me, you big—
Oh, Ward!
Ward, please do something!
They'll hurt each other.
Well, I always felt these things
sort of worked themselves out.
But if you insist—
Thank you, dear.
[Fighting Continues]
And, Ward,
you have my promise,
I'll never listen
to another Arab again.
[Pounding]
Hi, Gus.
Oh, it's you, Beaver.
You stood me up yesterday.
I didn't mean
to “stood“ you up, Gus.
Well, you see, Gus,
it was kind of my fault.
Yeah. Me and Wally
had to stay home and have a fight.
Don't tell me you two fellas
don't like each other?
Well, sometimes we do
and sometimes we don't.
— But it all evens up.
- Uh-huh.
You know, fellas, I was just thinking
about that new Cape Cod dinghy of mine.
It's sitting down there
in Miller's Pond right now
Sittin' there all by itself
— Thinkin' of goin' fishing, Gus?
— No, no. No.
I gotta hang around here.
Never tell when this whole town
might go up in flames.
Yeah, I guess so.
I was just thinkin', Beaver.
You and your brother just might make
a man and a half in that boat...
and still leave room
for the fish.
Oh, boy!
Yeah, Wally?
Sure, Beave.
Thanks a lot, Gus!
Let's go home and get our poles.
Uh—