Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 5 - New Neighbors - full transcript

June sends Beaver with a welcome-to-the-neighborhood bouquet to new next-door neighbor Mrs. Donaldson; but when the little boy is rewarded with a kiss on his cheek, rascally Eddie Haskell warns that a jealous Mr. Donaldson will soon show up at Beaver's door.

[Ward Narrating]
To a growing boy, there are some emotions
you can take in your stride.

Love.

Anger.

[No Audible Dialogue]
But fear can play havoc
with your little imagination.

And that’s our story tonight
on Leave It To Beaver.

[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.

Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...

and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.

I, uh, see you contrived
to meet our new neighbors.

Contrived? Well, I just happened
to run into him when I went out
to get the paper.

[Clears Throat]



Well?
Oh.

Uh, well, his name's Dawson.

And, uh,
I think he's a broker.

You know, it takes a while
to get to know your new neighbors.

Dear, their name is Donaldson.
He's with a thermal products company,
the assistant sales manager.

They put in an application
at Briarcliff.

They came here from Binghampton.
Her mother was a friend of the Bronsons.

And she plays bridge.
Where'd you get
all those details?

Oh, I didn't get the details yet.

Oh.7Well, he seems
like a nice guy.

Boys had their breakfast yet?
Yes.

Wally asked that Haskell boy over.
They're up in their room.

I hope they don't pick
on the Beaver.
Eddie Haskell?

He seems like a nice kid.



I don't know.

I just don't trust
a 13—year—old boy
that's that polite.

Get away, Beaver,
or I'll slug ya.

What else they
moving in, Eddie?

Nothing but junk.
Boy, are you gonna have
creepy neighbors.

How do you know, Eddie?

Just look at the stuff
that came in:

No dogs, no cats,
no fishing poles, no kids.
Just a crummy canary.

Yeah. Well, they had guys
planting flowers yesterday.

Uh—oh, there goes your shortcut
across their lawn.

[Beaver]
Hey, Wally!

Look what's coming in.
A boat without a bottom.

[Wally
No, no, that’s a rowing machine.

I'm gonna go ask 'em
If I can cut across their lawn.

Look, shrimp,
any guy that's got a rowing machine,
has got muscles out to here.

You mess around with him,
and he'll hit you right in the head.

The moving men
are sitting down again.

[June]
Wally!

My mom.
She must want something.

Let's duck out the back way.
No, we'd better not.

[Door Closes]

You call me, Mom?
Yes, Wally. I—

Good morning, Mrs. Cleaver.
That's a very pretty dress.

Thank you.

Wally, I want you to take
these flowers over next door,

and I want you to ask the Donaldsons
if there's anything we can do for them.

Gee, Mom, do| have to?
I have a friend over.

—We||, Wally, I'd like you to.
— Mom, I'll take them over.

Well, thanks, Beaver.

There.

Psst.

Now look. You tell them
we're happy they moved in,
and don't drop them.

Tell them we're happy
they moved in.

And don't drop them.

Look at him.

Boy, am I glad
I don't have a kid brother.
Aw, he's all right.

Those go in the living room.

May I help you?

My mother told me to tell you
we're very happy you moved in,
and don't drop them.

Well, Thank you.
What's your name?

Theodore, but my friends
call me Beaver.

Well, may I call you Beaver?
I'd like you to be my friend.

Okay.

Do you let your friends
cut across your lawn?

Well, I-I think some arrangement
could be made, Beaver.

And thanks again.

Did you see that?
[Kissing Sounds]

Hey, Wally, let's give him
the old business when he gets back.

Aw, let's leave him alone.

What's the matter with you?
You never wanna have any fun?

Well, we could kid him
a little.
[Door 0pens]

Hey, Wally, the lady said
we could cut across the lawn
anytime we wanted.

Hey, kid, what were you doing?
I took the flowers
over to the lady.

Don't give us that.
We saw ya.
You were kissing her.

Yeah, Beave, we saw ya.

I was not kissing her.
She was kissing me.

It's the same thing.
You better watch it, boy.

Yeah, you better watch it,
Beave.

— Watch what?
— Kissing married women.

Suppose her husband found out.

Yeah, suppose her husband
found out

—You mean he might not like it?
— Might not like it?

You see what happens
in the movies all the time.
[Cutting Noise]

Oh, hi.
Where's Wally?

He and Eddie went to play ball
with the big kids.

Oh.

Dad, what you doin'?

I'm putting a new plug
on the toaster.

Your mother always pulls it out
by the cord instead of by the plug.

Oh.

Dad, you're real smart.
You know all about 'tricity.

I know enough to stay just about
One jump ahead of your mother.

Dad?
Mm—hmm.

You're a married man, aren't you?

Yeah, I think we're safe
in assuming that. Uh—huh.

And Mom's a married woman,
isn't she?
Oh, yes.

Have you ever kissed
any other married woman
besides Mom?

Well, now, Beaver,
why would you ask
a question like that?

I'm just wondering.
Well, actually, Son, no.

I guess you were scared to, huh?

Yeah, that's as good a way as any
to sum it up, I guess.

I guess a guy could get
in a lot of trouble doing that, huh?

Yeah, he sure could.

Uh, Beaver, I've got to
finish this plug, Son.

Now, uh, you run on outside
and play.

I think I'll stay in the house
for the rest of the day.

Beaver, you go outside
and play.

Yes, sir.
Yeah.

Having a talk with the Beaver?
No, he was having
a talk with me.

You know it's funny
the way their little minds work.

He wanted to know
If I'd ever kissed a married woman.

What'd you tell him?
Well, I told him no.

Ward.
Mm—hmm.

Why haven't you ever kissed
any married women?

Now you know why, honey.
[Chuckles]

I was scared to.

Flowers?
The little boy next door
brought 'em over this morning.

Oh, yes, I've noticed him.
He's a cute little fella.
He's about Julie's age, isn't he?

Uh—huh. I thought if we're having
Julie for the weekend,
we might ask him over.

That way she'd have
someone to play with.
Good idea.

Listen, I'll be working outside.
|f| see him, I'll tell him.

You know, it's not a bad idea
to get in good with the neighbors' kids.

You know his name?
Beaver.

Beaver?
Beaver.

Beaver.

Come here.
I wanna talk to you.

Harry. Did you talk
to the little fellow?

Well, I tried to,
but he took off like a greyhound.

I think he must be the shy type.

Oh, dear.
Well, did you call your sister
about Julie coming over?

Oh, yeah, she's so excited
about meeting him.

You know, I think the name Beaver
kind of intrigued her.

Why don't you call his mother?
What about?

Well, if he's so shy about girls,
maybe we can find a way
to lure him over.

You know,
we would have won if—

Hey, Beave,
what are you doin'?

Watching for Mr. Donaldson.
He was gonna cut my head off.

No foolin'?

Yes. He came after me
with the hedge clippers.

— Uh—oh.
— It's just like you and Eddie said, Wally.

[Cutting Noise]

I told you there was
something creepy about him.

But, Eddie, he wouldn't get jealous
over a little squirt like Beaver.

I'm not leaving this room
fora hundred years.

Hey, Eddie, we still
giving him the business?

Heck no.
This is for real.

You know how many guys get shot
Every year by jealous husbands?
How many?

Couple hundred
in California alone.
Yeah?

Beaver?

Gee, Mrs. Cleaver,
that's a nice dress.

I know, Eddie. I know.

Eddie, I'm afraid you're gonna
have to go home now.
Beaver has to take a bath.

And then, honey, I want you
to put on your best suit.

You've been invited
over to the Donaldsons.

Oh.

Hurry up, Beaver.
You're gonna be late.

Now remember, not a word
about the Donaldsons'
little niece being there.

I promised Mrs. Donaldson.
[Footsteps Approaching]

Well, Beaver,
you look very nice.

Mom, do I have to go?

What's the matter?
Don't you feel well?

Oh, I feel fine,
except my head sort of hurts.

Why would your head hurt?

I think I fell down
at recess today.

Beaver, today is Saturday.
You didn't go to school.

[Chuckles]
Then I guess I didn't
fall down at recess.

Now, here's a present
to take over to the Donaldsons.
It's a yo—yo.

For Mrs. Donaldson?

Well, you—you just
take it on over there.

Now hurry up.
You're gonna have
a wonderful time.

Mrs. Donaldson thinks
you're a very nice little boy.

|wish she thought
I was an awful little boy.

Beaver, hurry up.
It's not polite
to keep people waiting.

Okay. Bye, Mom.

Mm, good—bye, darling.

Good—bye, Dad.

Tell Wally I said good—bye.

Well, you almost gave it away
with that yo—yo.

I know.
I wonder where Mrs. Donaldson
got that impression,

I don't know. He doesn't know enough
about life to be afraid of women.

Psst! It's us, Beave.

Come here, kid. Listen.

Mr. Donaldson
left a half hour ago.

Now, I don't know
what's going on in there,

but you being alone with his wife,
I just don't like the setup.
Me neither.

Do you think something's
gonna happen?

|don't like that Mr. Donaldson.

[Wally]
Look, as long as he ’s out,
he can ’t do anything to ya.

[Eddie]
Anyway, we ’re gonna be
right outside here.

How am I gonna know
you're gonna be right outside here?

Look, every couple of minutes,
we'll give you the old signal.

Yeah, as long as the coast is clear,
we'll give you the old signal.

Gee, thanks.

[Wally]
Yeah, you’d better go in now

Yeah, she'll be 'specting me.

You think something's
really gonna happen, Eddie?

Happen? When that guy
comes home and finds
Beaver alone with his wife,

he might pull a gun.
[Doorbell Rings]

A gun, Eddie?
Sure.

And there'll be shooting
all over the place
and bullets flyin' and—

Listen. I told my mother
I'd be home. Call me up
and let me know what happens.

Well, Beaver, come in.

My, aren't you a big boy
in your gray suit?

No, I'm not.
I'm just a little squirt.

My, what have we here?

It's for you.
It's a yo—yo.

Well, Thank you.

Aren't you gonna open it?

Well, I think we can wait
till later.

Won't you sit down?

Is it a birthday?

No, no birthday.

Where's Mr. Donaldson?

Well, he's not here right now.
We're alone.

You mean,
just me and you and the cake?

Mm—hmm.
What's the matter?

I don't think I like the setup.

Now, Beaver, I don't want you
to be shy with me.

After all,
we're going to be neighbors.

[Wally Wailing]
What in the world
was that?

That's an owl.
I saw it on the way over here.

I had an itch.

[Wally Wailing]

What in the world was that?

It sounded like an owl.

It didn't sound
enough like an owl
to be an owl.

[Wailing Continues]

Would you like
some taffy, Beaver?

No, thanks.
I already “losted” one tooth
this week.

Well, then perhaps
you'd care for a mint.

Okay.

Thank you.
How old are you, Beaver?

Seven.
That's why my teeth
are falling out.

Oh, I see.

Is it true you don't like girls?

Beaver, | asked you if—

Well, aren't you going to
give me an answer?

Well, I, uh—
What was the question?

Is it true
you don't like girls?

I like Angela Valentine.
Oh, you do?

She has an extra toe.

Oh, really?

It doesn't have a toenail,
but you can see it's a toe.

Well, that's very interesting,
Beaver. It certainly is.

[Wailing]

[Wailing Continues]

May I ask what you're doing?
Shh!

Oh, uh, Dad.

Well, I, uh—
I come out to look for
night crawlers.

With a periscope?

Well, they're kinda hard to find.

Wally, I'm surprised at you.

Coming over here,
bothering your brother just because
you weren't invited to the Donaldsons.

Well, I wasn't bothering him.
I was just—

—I think you'd better
get on in the house.
— But—

Yeah, I think I'd better.

Now, Beaver, suppose we just—
[Horn Honks]

Oh, excuse me just a minute.
That must be Mr. Donaldson now.
[Car Door Opens, Closes]

You have on such
a pretty dress tonight.
Thank you.

Theodore,
I'd like you to meet—

Well, that's strange.

Well, he was here
just a minute ago.

He must have gone out this way,
but he's not here now.

Aunt Betty, what happened?

Did the boy with the funny name
“runned” away?

Well, I can't imagine
why he left, dear.

Well, come in.
Ward it’s the Donaldsons.

Well, hello there.

We're sorry to trouble you,
but, uh, we're looking
For your son.

Oh, I sent Wally
up to his room.
Oh, no, we mean the Beaver.

Theodore?
But he's at your house.

Well, he was at our house,
but he's not there now.

He— He seems
to have disappeared.

Ward, where could he be?

Excuse me a minute.
I'll be right back.

His father doesn't
look like a beaver.

Wally, where's the Beaver?
Dad, I haven't seen him
all evening.

I've been studying pretty hard.

Yeah.

All right, Wally.

Wally, aren't those the Beaver's
best shoes?

Yeah, I guess they are.
He must have left them there.

He must have left
his feet in them too.

Hi, Dad.

Beaver, what in the world
are you doing?

Now come on. Get on your feet.
Look at your suit,
for heaven's sake.

The Donaldsons are downstairs
looking for you.

Now, I want you to come
right downstairs and apologize
for running away.

I don't want to.
|don't like that Mr. Donaldson.

Well, why don't you like
Mr. Donaldson?
Well, I just, um—

He probably has his reasons, Dad.

Yes, I probably have my reasons.

I don't wanna go down there.
I don't want to.

Well, now wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Take it easy, Beaver.

I'm not gonna
force you to do anything
you don't want to do.

Look,just leave it to me.
Now don't worry.

Well, it was
the most peculiar thing.

One minute he was there,
and the next minute he was gone.

It isn't at all like the Beaver
being shy.

Well, I hope it isn't anything
we said or did.

Oh, no, of course not.
After all—

Oh, Ward, did you find him?

Oh,yes,yes.
He's up in his room. Uh—

I'm afraid he's not coming down.

We||,we had planned
a little party for him
with little Julie here.

Yeah,yeah, I know.
Uh, but you know
how children are.

Sometimes they develop
an aversion to—

I mean, uh, sometimes
they don't take to people
right away.

Well, if he's shy about girls,
I can understand.

Oh, it's not girls.
It's, uh—

[Chuckles]
Well, as a matter of fact,
it's you, Mr. Donaldson.

[Chuckles]
Me?

Yes, well, uh, you see,
it seems that you—

I mean, Beaver
seems to think that—

You see, I don't know what went on
over there, but right now
he's upstairs under the bed.

Ward, I'm sure it's nothing
that Mr. Donaldson did.

Oh, I'm sure
it's nothing like that. No.
Of course not.

[June]
You know how children are.

0h, Beaver hides under the bed
lots of times.

Oh, yes, lots of times.
You remember when that English bulldog
moved in down the street? He—

Well, |—
You know how children are.

Well, I-I guess if he isn't
coming down,
we can go home.

Yeah, well—
Good night.

Good night.
Aunt Betty?

Yes, sweetie.
Do | get to eat
his piece of cake?

Well, we'll see about that.
We'll see.

Have you seen anything
of the Donaldsons this morning?

No. And I don't think we'll be seeing
very much of them in the near future.

No, I guess not.

You know, I can't recall
the Beaver's ever taking
such a dislike to anyone.

Oh, he'll get over it in time.
Do you want more—

Ward, come here.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Beaver.
What, Mom?

I thought you were afraid
Mr. Donaldson.

Oh, that was last night, Mom.
It's all
straightened out now, huh?

Oh, sure. I was coming in,
and he asked me
why I was “a—scared” of him.

And I told him.
Uh—

You, uh—
You told him?

Oh, sure.
After| 'splained to him,

he said I could kiss his wife
anytime I wanted.

Kiss his wife anytime.

I think I'd better find out
what this is all about, huh?

Just leave it.
Just leave it.