Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 35 - Boarding School - full transcript

Wally, if you go to
this marching school,

you think they'll let you bring
your horse home on weekends?
I don't think so.

But maybe you can come up
and spend a weekend with me
and the horse.

That'd be almost
as good as going.

— What you doin', Wally?
— Just sorting out my junk.

If a guy's gonna leave home,
he should put away the stuff
he's not gonna use.

[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.

Starring Barbara Billingsley
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...

and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.

Oh, certainly, Mrs. Franklin.
I'm sure Wally and the Beaver
will be delighted.

Thank you. Bye.



What are forcing our boys
to be delighted about now?

That was Bernice Franklin. Her boy,
Johnny, is home from military school...

and he's coming over
to see Wally and the Beaver.
Johnny Franklin?

Oh, that's the kid we took fishing.
He fell out of the boat...
with the lunch.

Oh, no. That was a different Johnny.
This is Johnny Franklin.

He was a grade ahead of Wally,
and he went away to military school
about a year ago.

So?

So he's coming over.

Oh, good.

— Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
— Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

— Hey, kids, where you going?
— Over to the new supermarket, Dad.
They're givin' out free samples.

And there's gonna be
a real live movie star there.

What movie star?
[Wally]
Well, I don't know, Mom.

It's one of these movie stars
you never heard of before.



But it says out front
he's a real live movie star though.

[June]
We/l, boys, you can go over there later.
Johnny Franklin’s coming over to see you

Johnny—
Oh, yeah. He used to be
in the eighth grade.

[Wally]
Gee, Mom, do we have to stay home?

Uh—huh. His mother says
he's on his way over.

But, Mom, if we don't get
over to the supermarket now,
all the free samples will be gone.

And the movie star
will have went home.

Gone home, Beaver.

Anyway, you said no one
ever heard of him before.

Come on, boys.

You wait upstairs.
And when Johnny gets here,
we'll send him up.

Okay, Mom. But, gee,
our whole day is spoiled.

Well, offhand, I'd say
they weren't too happy
About Johnny coming over.

Well, it's pretty hard to compete
with an anonymous movie star.

Hey, look, Wally.
I finally got the eyes in the clown.

Hey, that's pretty good.
How'd you do it?

I took the top off and stuck 'em in.
Oh, yeah.

Boys, look who's here—
Johnny Franklin.

Yeah. Uh...

— Uh, well, hi,Johnny.
— Hi, men.

- Hi.
—Well, I guess you boys
have a lot to talk about.

Um, thank you, Mrs. Cleaver,
for letting me come over.

You're welcome.

That sure is a neat army suit.

Oh, it's just a school uniform.

That's pretty neat.
Oh, hey, you wanna sit down?

It won't hurt your suit,
will it?

thank you.

June, this is the third time
I've tightened these hinges.

I wish the boys wouldn't
slam the back door.

All right, dear, I'll have them
slam the front door for a while.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, uh,Johnny really looked sharp
in his uniform, didn't he?

And he's so polite. Really polite.
Not like Eddie Haskell.

I think Johnny really means it.
Yeah.

Do you really get to
march every day?

Well, sure. And on Saturdays, we have
a parade with a band and everything.

Boy, that sure sounds swell.

— Oh, I bet you don't
get to carry guns though.
— Why, sure we do.

Can you shoot
real bullets with 'em?

Well, the big guys have a rifle team,
but we drill with wooden guns.

Well, gee, what's the good of
havin' a gun if you can't shoot it?

Well, if there was
an invasion or something,
you could hit guys with it.

Boy, it sure sounds like
a neat school.

Sure, it is. And in gym,
we practice rope climbing and tumbling
and wrestling and stuff like that.

Gee, I never heard of a school
where you could have fun before.

We even have horseback riding
and swimming.

We even have two guys from
the regular army to teach us the drillin'.

And you know somethin' else?
All our teachers are men,
well, except the nurse.

Oh, boy!
All men teachers, huh?

No lady teachers?

Not a single one.
You mean
you don't have to wash?

Well, sure they make us wash.
You get demerits if they find dirt on you.

Well, gee, Beaver, you have to wash,
no matter where you go to school.

Yeah, I guess so.

Say, Wally, where are you goin'
to school next year?

Well, I don't know.

I guess Mayfield High
with Eddie and the other guys.

Yeah, I guess that's
an all right school.

Yeah, I guess
it's an all right school.

Of course, they—
they don't have horses.

They don't have guns either,
not even wooden ones.

— Yeah.
— Yeah.

Well, men, I've gotta get going.

I have to report back to school.
I'm on sentry duty tomorrow.

Sentry duty?

You mean you get to shoot at guys
that don't know the password?

No. Tomorrow's visiting day,

and we stand around the campus
and direct the parents
to where the washrooms are.

Well, I really have to get going now.

It's nice talking to you, men.

Uh, yeah.

Hey, that was pretty snappy, huh?

Yeah, they must give 'em
turning around lessons too.

I don't really think it was so hard.

I'm sorry you have to
leave so soon, Johnny.

I'm sorry too, Mrs. Cleaver,
but I have to report back tonight.
I'm on sentry duty.

Sentry duty, huh?

Well! Well, uh, drop in
anytime you're home,john.

thank you, sir.

At ease, men.

I can't help it, dear.
I used to be a Seabee.

I'm always a little self—conscious
in the presence of that much brass.

Pow. Pow.

Pow.

Hey, you know, Beaver, I might ask Dad
If I can go to Bellport next year.

I thought you wanted to go to Mayfield
with Eddie and the other guys.

Yeah, but I've been thinkin'.
Who wants to be like Eddie Haskell?

But he's your best friend,
isn't he?

Well, that's what he's always tellin' me,

but he's kind of a creepy guy
to have for a best friend.

He sure is.

You gonna ask Dad
if you can go to Bellport?

Well, not all at once.

You know,
if you want somethin' real good,
you gotta be careful how you ask.

What do you mean?
Well, if you come right out and ask 'em
and then they say no, you're dead.

Yeah.

Sure wish I could
go to military school.
You're not old enough yet, Beave.

I know. But I'd sure like to be
on sentry duty and tell people
where is the washrooms.

Pow.

Well, fellows, uh,
what did you and Johnny Franklin
talk about this morning?

Oh, things and stuff.

Well, it seems funny you wouldn't
find much to talk about. You haven't
seen him in almost a year.

Yeah. Well, I guess that's why
we didn't have much to talk about.
[Chuckles]

I thought he looked
very nice in his uniform.

Dad,

a long time ago,
you were a kid once, weren't you?

— Well—
— I think he was.

That's, uh, one of the things
that's rather hard to avoid.

— Uh-huh.
— Uh.

did, uh, you ever ride a horse?

Did I ever ride a horse? Well, I was
practically brought up on a farm.
We rode 'em bareback.

Ah, you kids don't know
what you missed.

— Did you ever shoot a gun?
— Well, when I was old enough,
I went hunting with my father.

Gee, you must have had
a lot of fun when you were a kid.

I sure did.
[Chuckles]

I-I remember one time
my brother and I—

— Ward, please.
— Oh, this was my younger brother, dear.

Uh, anyway, Dad let us take these
two horses and we rode way over to—
Dad?

Uh, could I go to
Bellport Military Academy next year?

Why, Wally, uh, why would you
bring that subject up?

Uh, 'cause they got
horses and guns there.

But, Wally, I thought you wanted
to go to high school here
with all of your friends?

Well, gee, Dad,
it's a real neat school.

They teach you marching
and wrestling and swimming,
and I'd get good marks. Couldn't I go?

Why, Wally, you wouldn't
wanna leave us, would you?

Well, gee, how else
could I go away to school?

Well, uh, Wally, this is quite a surprise
you've sprung on us, uh—

You mean I can go?

Well, uh,

um, well, at least
I'll look into it.

But it'd take a lot
of thought though.

We'll see what we can do.

Gee, thanks, Dad.

Mom, can we stick our dishes
in the sink now?

Yes, you may be excused.

Wally, does this mean
you really get to go?

Well, I sure hope so, Beave.

Huh. He wants to go
to military school.

Well, of course he does,
the way you encouraged him.

June, I didn't encourage him.

Well, you did all that bragging
about horses and guns.

Well, you know, military school
might do Wally a lot of good.
He might be very happy up there.

Now listen, Ward,
if he's going to be happy,

I want him to be happy
right here at home where
we can keep an eye on him.

Of course, with all this talk
about going away, uh,

maybe he's not
as happy here at home
as we think he is.

What do you mean by that?

Well, I mean, he's practically
ready for high school,

and he's— he's always had to
share a room with his brother,
and, uh—

Well, and anyway, it's perfectly natural
for a kid to wanna get away
from his mother's apron strings.

What do you mean
my apron strings?

Uh, nothing. Uh, that was
a poor choice of words.

It certainly was.

Look,June, Wally
brought the subject up.

Now it seems to me that the least
we can do is to get an application
and find out about the school.

And if we're satisfied
and if he really wants to go,

I think we oughta let him go
where he'll be happy.

All right.
You send for the application,

and if he wants to go,
we'll let him go
where he's gonna be happy.

I'm glad we agree.
But there's only one thing, Ward.

If he gets homesick or—
or a horse bites him or something,
I'll never forgive you!

“List applicant's allergies, if any."

What's that?
Oh, it's an application from
Bellport Military Academy.

They wanna know more about our boy
than we know about him.

You think Wally really wants to go?
He's gotten excited about things
before, and then he's lost interest.

Oh,June, he's talked about
nothing else for the last week.
They want a picture of him too.

Send that one in his blue suit.

No, I think I'll send the one
in the baseball uniform.

Wally, if you go to
this marching school,

you think they'll let you bring
your horse home on weekends?
I don't think so.

But maybe you can come up
and spend a weekend with me
and the horse.

That'd be almost
as good as going.

— What you doin', Wally?
—just sorting out my junk.

If a guy's gonna leave home,
he should put away the stuff
he's not gonna use.

But you won't be leavin'
for a whole nother year.

Well,yeah.
Well, a guy should do it anyway.

Oh, here.
You can have my snakeskin.

Wally, did you really
take this off a snake?

Nah. Me and Eddie found it.
Every year, snakes crawl out
of their old skins.

I wonder how a snake makes
a hole in the top of himself
so he can climb out.

Well, I don't know.
I guess you have to be a snake
to know that.

Yeah, I guess so.

Wally, if you go to
this marching school,

I guess we won't be goin'
down to the lake anymore
and catchin' polliwogs.

No, I guess not.

Of course,
when I go down to the lake,

I can always take
Larry Mondello with me,
if it's all right with you?

Sure, it's all right with me.
You can take Larry.

— No.
— Huh?

It takes a certain kind of guy
to catch polliwogs with.

How come?

Well, first you gotta find a guy
that likes to lay on his stomach.

Well, doesn't Larry like to
lie on his stomach?

I don't know.
I never asked him.

You know somethin', Wally?
What's that?

— The fun of catchin' polliwogs
isn't really catchin' polliwogs.
— It isn't?

No. It's lyin' there
with the other guy and talkin'.

Yeah. I guess you're right.

Yeah. Like the time we were at the lake
and we we're pretendin' the lake
was an ocean...

and the polliwogs were whales
and we was on a whaling ship,
remember, Wally?

Yeah, I remember.

Well, we didn't catch
one polliwog that day,

but that was the best day
I ever spent at the lake.

Uh, yeah. Well, I think we better
put this stuff out in the garage.

Yeah, I guess we better.

What are the boys
doing out there?

Storing Wally's valuables in the garage.
He's getting ready to go to boarding school.

So soon?
Mm—hmm.

Ward?
Huh?

Do you really think
we'd be doing the right thing
letting him go next year?

Oh,June, he's talked about
nothing else for days.

I think if he wants to go,
we should let him go.
I suppose so.

You know, I, uh, I thought
we might all drive up to Bellport
and let him look the school over,

make up his own mind
one way or the other.

I better make a sandwich
for Eddie Haskell.

Is he coming over?
Uh-huh.

Well, at least,
If Wally goes off to school,
he'll be away from Eddie's influence.

Maybe we need Eddie Haskell.
What?

Well, if it weren't for Eddie,
who could we blame Wally's faults on?

Hiya, men.
Oh, hi, Eddie.

Hi, Eddie.
What's new?

Mm, nothin'.

There is too. Wally's going
to a real neat military school,

and he gets to ride horses,
shoot guns and everything.

No foolin'?
Military school?
Yeah. It's up at Bellport.

Yeah? When did your father
get this idea?

My father didn't get it.
I got it.

Yeah? I'll bet you
just think it was your idea.

What do you mean, Eddie?

Last year, my pop started hintin'
around about military school,

all about learning to be neat
and getting better marks.

But he wasn't gettin'
rid of me that easy.

Gee, I don't think my father's
trying to get rid of me.

Me neither.

Yeah? Well, let me
Tell you something.

I read it in a magazine.
Legally, they can't throw you
out of the house till you're 21.

You're goofy, Eddie. My father's not
throwing me out of the house.
I wanna go.

[Chuckles]
That's what you think.

Dad wouldn't do a thing like that,
would he, Wally?

Wait till it happens to you,
you little squirt.
You won't know what hit you.

Aw, go on, Eddie.

All right, but look at me.

I'm 13 years old and I've been
to five different summer camps.

You don't think my old man's
spending that kind of money
just so I can have a good time, do you?

Aw, cut it out, Eddie.
You're always braggin' about
how much fun you have up at camp.

Well, I'm smart enough not
to let my old man know about it.

You guys coming over
to Metzger's Field?

Yeah. We'll be over later.
We gotta have lunch first.

Okay. I'll see you characters.

Wally, it was your idea about
military school, wasn't it?

Sure.

When Johnny Franklin
came over in his uniform,
that's when I got the idea.

Sure.

How come Johnny Franklin came over?
He never came over before.

I don't know. I...
guess Mom and Dad invited him.

— Yeah.
— Yeah.

Say, Wally, you have anything
planned for tomorrow?

No. I guess not.
Why, Dad?

Well, I have your application
all filled out.

I thought we might drive up
to Bellport tomorrow
and look the school over.

Uh,yeah.
I-I guess I could go.

Wally, don't you still wanna
go to boarding school?

Oh, yeah.
Well, I guess I do.

Wally.
we've talked about it all week.
Now do you or don't you?

Well, gee, Dad, anything you say.
Could I be excused?

— What's the matter with you?
— How long till I'm 21?

Not for a long time, Beaver.

Oh. Can I be excused too?

Yes, Beaver.

Well, what do you suppose
has gotten into Wally?

Mm, guess he doesn't wanna
go to boarding school.

Yeah. But why?

Ward, I didn't say a thing to him.

All right, dear.
Just don't look like you have.

You already washed
your face once today.

Uh, well, I'm washin' it again.

Your eyes look funny.

Uh... well, I was playin' baseball
yesterday and catchin' fiies.

The sun kind of makes my eyes red.

Yeah, I guess it does all right.

Uh, would you mind
closing the door?
Sure, Wally.

Ward, I really think you should go up
and find out what happened to Wally.

So do I.
I'm going up right now
and have a talk with him.

Dear, don't be too hard on him.

Remember,
we're trying to make him happy.
I know.

— Dad?
— Well, Beaver, what are you doing here?

— Dad, I wanna talk to you.
—What is it?

How come you don't
like Wally anymore?

Beaver, why would you
ask a question like that?

Because you're trying
to get rid of him.

Where'd you get that idea?
From Eddie Haskell.

— Eddie Haskell?
—Yeah.

His father tried to get rid of him
by sending him away to school,

but he knows the law,
so he's not gonna go till he's 21.

Well, Beaver, I don't know
what Eddie told you...

or what he thought
his father's intentions were,

but— but parents don't send
boys away to boarding school
because they want to get rid of them.

They send them away because—

well, because they want them
to have certain advantages.

I don't think Wally
wants no advantages.

— Any advantages?
— Any advantages.

Beaver, even before Eddie
talked to Wally,

I sorta got the idea that
he was beginning to get cold feet
about wanting to going away to school.

What do you think?

Yeah, I think his feet were getting cold
even before he talked to Eddie Haskell.

— Where is he now?
— He's upstairs.

And his eyes are red
from catchin' fly bails
out in the sun yesterday.

Oh. Well, I'll, uh—
I'll go up and talk to him.

Thanks a lot, Beave.
You've been a big help.
Oh, sure, Dad.

Excuse me, Beaver.
I have to go upstairs
and talk to Wally.

Your father and I have
something to discuss with him.

That's okay, Mom.
I think me and Dad
just took care of it.

Wally?
Yeah, Beave?

You goin' up to see
the marchin' school tomorrow?

Nah. Dad and I
kinda talked it over,

and we figured I wouldn't
go to Bellport next year.

How come?

Well, all the other guys
are going to Mayfield,

and Eddie isn't really such a creep.

And anyway, Dad and I figured
you might get in trouble.
Me?

Well, yeah. You know, goin' down to the lake
and catchin' polliwogs by yourself and stuff.

Yeah. I guess it's not gonna be
so bad havin' you home
for a whole nother year.

Yeah.

Well,just don't get the idea
that means you can hang around me
all the time.

Oh, no, Wally.