Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 34 - Beaver's Bad Day - full transcript

Beaver goes outside to play in his good Sunday suit, which is against the rules. Trouble brews when Larry Mondello talks Beaver into playing in a construction area, then snowballs when Eddie Haskell shows up to cause trouble. The end result has Beaver tearing the pants to his suit. When Beaver comes home and his parents see the torn suit, they ask for an explanation. Beaver tells a wild story about getting into a conflict with a dog and that the dog attacked him; actually, Beaver got his pants caught on a loose nail, and Eddie had encouraged him to make up the lie. Ward is not fooled and lectures his son about telling the truth. The next day, Beaver is wearing another good suit to school when, lo and behold Eddie shows up again! This time, Wally tries to defend Beaver, and in the ensuing chaos, a dog attacks Beaver and chews up his pants. When Wally and Beaver try to explain that a dog really did cause the tear, Wally blows his stack and sends his sons upstairs to punish them. Before Ward can mete out the punishment, June gets a call from Mrs. Mondello, confirming Beaver's story. Ward and June agree they should have believed Beaver and go upstairs to apologize.

You know what else he said?

He said he could lick you
with one hand
tied behind his back.

— Eddie said that?
— Yeah. You think he can, Wally?

Are you kiddin'?
He couldn't lick me
on the best day he ever had.

Hey, Beave, Eddie hangs around
that new house a lot, doesn't he?

Yeah. He's probably
over there right now.

I think I'll go over there.
I'd just like to see him
say that in front of me.

Come on, Beave.

[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.

Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...

and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.



Well, Beaver,
the tailor did a good job
on letting your suits out.

Yeah. My ankles
hardly show anymore.

I don't know how much longer
you're gonna be able to wear these.
No more sleeve to let out.

I guess as I get bigger,
there's gonna be more of me to let out...

than there will be suit.

I suppose so.

They're in the hall closet, Wally.
Well, we're all set.
Should be back around 3:00.

If you want the car today,
you can have it.
Fred Rutherford's picking us up.

Oh, good.

Where you goin', Wally?
Dad's gonna play golf.
I'm gonna caddie for him.

Gee, can't I go along?
I'd like to do that.

What's a caddie?
I carry his clubs
around the course for him.

Then look for the ball
when he knocks it under rocks
and behind trees and stuff.

Couldn't I do that too?
Well, you’re too close
to the ground Beaver



If you carried the bag,
the bag would drag.

[Chuckles]

Anyway, you're too young, Beaver.
They don't allow boys under 12
on the golf course.

Oh.

When you're under 12
you can hardly do anything
except brush your teeth and go to bed.

I'll tell you what.
Maybe next weekend
we can all go fishing.

[Car Horn Honking]

That's Mr. Rutherford.
Come on, Wally.

I'll see you, Beave.
Hey, I'll bring you home some
of the golf balls Dad wrecks.

Bring some for me too,
Wally.
[Clears Throat]

Uh, Wally.
Mr. Rutherford's waiting.

Have a good game.

Well, Beaver,
what do you got planned
for today?

Well, Larry Mondello's
comin' over.

What are you gonna do?

We might do somethin',
or we might not do somethin'.

We'll see when he gets here.

Well, I have to go
grocery shopping.

Before you start playing
or go out of the house, I want you
to take your good clothes off.

Okay, Mom.
Oh. Here.

Hang this in the closet
for me, will you?
Yes, Mom.

Oh, Beaver!

I don't want you playing over there
where they're building
that new house.

Your father says
it's too dangerous.
All right, Mom.

I'll put these in the wash.

Beaver! I'll leave your clean jeans
here on the railing.

Okay, Mom!
What are you doing?

Just sittin'.

I don’t want you sitting
around in your good suit.

Okay, Mom.
I won't sit around
in my good suit.

I'm gonna go grocery shopping now.
Have a good time.

Bye!

Hey, Beaver! Beaver!

I’ll be right down, Larry.

[Footsteps]

Hi, Larry.
Hi.

— I didn't know you had
an uncle in Florida, Beaver.
— Oh, sure.

He's my elk's tooth uncle.

Hey, Beaver, look what I got.

Gosh,
look at all that money.

But there are no pictures on it.

I got 'em over where they're
building that new house.

The electricians throw 'em away.

[Slugs jingling]

You wanna go over and get some more?
Then we can both sound like we're rich.

No. I'm not supposed
to go over there.

Anyway, I got my good pants on.

Beaver, if we don't go right over,
some other guys'll find them
and there won't be any left.

But I'm not supposed to
play over there.

But we're not gonna be playin'.
We'll just be picking up money.

That's right.

I guess I could go,
and change my pants after later.

— Sure. Come on. Let's run.
— Okay.

Hey, Beaver, wait!

Beaver.

[Ringing]

Hello?
Oh, hello, Ward.

I just wanted to let you know
we'd be home to lunch, dear.

[Chuckling]
No, no, Wally's fine.

Fred and I were only able
to get in nine holes.

No, he was to leave now
to take his boy Lumpy
to the movies.

I don't know.
I guess he wants to get there
before the prices change.

Well, when you get home
I want you to speak to the Beaver.

He went out in one of his good suits
after I told him not to.

All right, dear,
I'll speak to him.

Yeah.
All right, bye.

Hey, Dad.
Uh-huh?

Think this ball's beat—up enough
to give to the Beaver?

Hey, I did kinda put a smile
on that one, didn't I?

No, the Beaver's
not gonna get anything
but a good talking—to.

He went outside to play
in his good suit.
Well, you know, Dad.

Kids like him
are always forgettin' stuff.

Your golf bag.

If I find four more, Beaver,
I'll have $20.

Gee, I got
more than you got,

but I only got $3.60.

That's 'cause I'm makin'—believe
mine are quarters.

I think I'm gonna make—believe
mine are 50 “centses.”

You know, Beaver,
before it's finished,

a house sure looks
like a skeleton.

Doesn't it?
Yeah.

I never seen a house
with its skin off before.

Hey, Beaver, look!
I made a seesaw!

Come on, get on it.

No. I'm not
supposed to be over here.

And anyways, I think I'd better
go home and change my clothes.

Look, how can you get dirty
just see-sawin'?

I can get dirty doin' anything.

Don't go now,
just when we're startin'
to have fun.

Well—
Come on, Beave.

I guess I could see-saw just once,

and then go home
and change my pants.

Sure! Get on.

Okay, Beave,
now you put me
up in the air.

I can't!

Well, go ahead
and make yourself heavier.

I can't.
You make yourself lighter.

I'm tryin'.

[Dog Barks]

What are you goofy kids doin'?

He's too heavy.
I can't get down.

That's easy.
Larry,just get off.

What'd you do that for,
you wise guy?

You all right,
Beaver?

[Eddie]
Sure, he’s all right.

Come on, get up, Beaver.
We'll do it again.

This is fun.

I guess I'm all right.

[Fabric Rips]

Uh—oh.

I'm all right,
but I don't think my pants are.

[Larry]
Wow! You tore out
the whole back!

[Eddie Snickering]

This is one of my good suits, Eddie.
My mom's gonna be pretty sore
when she finds out what happened.

Wait a minute, kid.
You're not gonna be
a little squealer, are ya?

Well, you're the one that did it.

Yeah, but If you go around
squealin' on guys,
nobody's gonna like you.

Is that why
nobody likes you, Eddie?

Shut up, fat boy!

Come on, Beaver.
You gonna be one of them little babies
that tells his mommy everything?

Well, I'm not gonna be a squealer,

but if I get in any trouble, I'm gonna
have my big brother Wally fix you.

Go on. I could take care of Wally
with one hand tied behind me.

Oh, yeah?
Sure!

And if he tries anything with me,
I'll sic my police dog on ya.

[Growls, Barking]

He was in the war.
They trained him to attack the enemy.

[Barking Continues]

Just watch what you're sayin', kid.

Come on, Wolf.

Looks bad, huh, Larry?
It sure does.

You know somethin'?
You shouldn't have come over here
in your good suit.

[June Sighs]

Wow, there's more rip
than there is pants.
Never mind, Wally.

We're waiting
for an explanation,
Beaver.

Beaver, I wanna know right now
how you ripped your trousers.

Well, I didn't 'xactly rip 'em.

Somebody else ripped them?

That's right.
Somebody else ripped them.

Well, who was
this “somebody else"?

Uh...

the somebody else was a dog.

[June]
A dog bit you, Beaver?

Yeah.
He tried to “bit“ me.

But he got my pants instead.

Oh, I see.
Well, who did this dog
belong to?

Uh—

I never saw him before.
I think he's from out of town.

Well, Beaver, from the looks of that rip,
I'd say the dog had one rusty tooth.

Beaver, it was a nail,
and it happened over at that new house
they're building, didn't it?

Yes, sir.

Why did you lie to us,
Beaver?

You know what happens
to boys who tell lies?

They don't get to watch television
for the rest of their lives?

Beaver, when you tell one lie—

[Rings]

When you tell one lie,
it always leads to another.
Hello?

Oh, hello, Fred.
And then that—

Ward?
Yes, he's right here.
No, no—

Well, that sounds very nice.

The Rutherfords
want us to come over
and play bridge tonight.

I played golf with Fred this morning.
I don't feel up to
an evening with him.

Boys, you'd better
go on upstairs.

I'll talk to you later.

Hello, Fred, old boy.
How are you?

Wait a minute, Beave.

[Ward] Fred I’m sorry,
but Ed Ferguson ’s been wanting
to demonstrate a new car.

I’d hate to disappoint him.

Sure, Fred.
Any other time.

It's just one of those things.
[Chuckles]

Yeah. All right.
Good—bye, boy.

Ward.
Honey, I just didn't feel up to
another evening with Fred.

And anyway, Ed Ferguson
did say something about
a new car just last week.

Well, uh, I'd better go up
and finish my little talk
with the Beaver.

All about what happens
to little boys who tell lies?

[Clears Throat]
Well, maybe I'd better wait
till after lunch.

Till your conscience
clears up a little.

Yeah.

And anyhow,
I am a little hungry.

Now, Beaver, you disobeyed me
and you went out in your good clothes.

And you ripped your trousers,
and you lied to us.

Yes, Mom.

— You know you're going to
have to be punished, don't you?
— Yes, sir.

Well, we wanna be fair about it.
What do you think
a fair punishment would be?

No stewed figs for dessert.

Uh, Beaver, you know
you don't like stewed figs.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Dad, why don't you
make him sleep on the floor?

Gee, Dad, that'd be neat!

Wally, I think I can
handle this myself.

I'll tell you, Beaver,

I think a fair punishment
would be for you to spend the rest
of the afternoon up here in your room.

Gee, Dad, what can I do up here?

Well, you could take a nap.

I haven't taken a nap
since a long time ago.

I'm sorry, but that's
going to be your punishment.

Come on, boy. Into bed.
Let's go, Wally.

Dad, couldn't Wally take a nap with me?
Then we could play checkers or somethin'.

Yeah, Dad.
I wouldn't mind.

All right, Wally, come on.
Everybody out.

Mom?
Yes, Beaver?

I'm sorry I wore my good pants
after you told me not to and ripped 'em.

I am too.

Beaver,

you know the real reason
you're being punished, don't you?

Because I made you and Dad mad.

No, because you played
over at the new house...

and you told those lies
about the dog biting you.

I guess so.

Beaver, it's telling lies
that gets us into trouble.

You'll always be safe
If you tell the truth.

And anyway, even when you think
you're getting away with it,
God knows you're lying.

How?

Oh, because God knows everything
and he sees everything.

Right through the roof?

Right through the roof.

Right through the ceiling?

And through the ceiling.

Would God see me
If I hid in my closet?

Yes, Beaver.
You see, God is everywhere.

Was God there when Dad was talking
to Mr. Rutherford on the telephone?

Well, Beaver,
that was a little bit different.

You see, well, your father was tired,

and he didn't want
to hurt Mr. Rutherford's feelings, and—

Well, Beaver, I'm afraid sometimes
your father and I make mistakes.

That's okay.
I make 'em myself sometimes, Mom.

Well, you lie down now
and take your nap.
Okay, Mom.

Mom?
Yes, Beaver?

You gonna make Dad
take a nap too?

No, but I think there's something else
your father's going to do.

Yeah, Fred.June and I discovered
that we are going to be able
to make it tonight after all.

Oh, Ferguson? Well, uh—

Um, I, uh, I guess
I was wrong about that, Fred.
[Chuckles]

Yes, well, we'll look forward
to seeing you too.

All right. Bye.

Well, there you are, dear.
We're going, and I'm going to be
miserable all evening.

I don't care how miserable you are.
You're going to enjoy it.

Uh, I'll make a point of that.

How's the Beaver doing?
He's taking his nap.

I hope we haven't been
too severe with him.

He looks so forlorn up there
in his room all by himself.

Well, after all,
he did wear his good clothes
over there to that house,

and he did make up
a fantastic story about a dog.

I know it.

I guess he'll have to
wear his blue suit
to Sunday school tomorrow.

I just hope he realizes in the future
that if he tells the truth
he won't get into trouble.

I think he will.

Boy, that Eddie sure is a wise guy.
Yeah.

You know what else he said?

He said he could lick you
with one hand
tied behind his back.

— Eddie said that?
— Yeah. You think he can, Wally?

Are you kiddin'?
He couldn't lick me
on the best day he ever had.

Hey, Beave, Eddie hangs around
that new house a lot, doesn't he?

Yeah. He's probably
over there right now.

I think I'll go over there.
I'd just like to see him
say that in front of me.

Come on, Beave.
I don't wanna go.

Beave, we'll only be a second.
Who's gonna know?

Well, you know, Wally,
somebody's always watching us.

— Anyway, we're not supposed to play over there.
— We're not goin' there to play.

We're goin' over there
to straighten out Eddie.

Okay.

Sure hope he knows that.

Shouldn't the boys
be home by now?

Oh, they are a little late.

They had on their good clothes.
You don't suppose they
stopped off somewhere, do you?

After what happened yesterday?
I don't think so.

I think we made quite an impression.

Hmm.

All right, Eddie.
let's hear you say
what you said yesterday.

Gee, Wally, that was yesterday.
I don't remember what I said.

— [Beaver] I do.
— Me too!

You said you could lick Wally
with one hand tied behind your back.

Then he pushed me off the seesaw
and Beaver ripped his pants.

Who asked you, Larry?

Listen, Eddie,
I’m telling you for the last time—
you lay off my brother.

Yeah, you lay off his brother!

What's the matter with you, Wally?
The whole thing was a joke.

Joke nothin'.
You take it back
about you lickin' me.

All right.
So I take it back.
Big deal.

[Larry] Eddie's chicken.
[All Laughing]
Eddie's chicken!

I'll take my coat now.

— [Dog Growling]
— [Boys Shouting]

[Fabric Rips]

Wow. That's even worse
than yesterday.

Yeah. I guess dogs
are tougher on pants
than nails.

You're in a big mess now.
What are you gonna do?

Well, Mom and Dad
said yesterday...

you can't get in any trouble
by telling the truth.

So I'd just better tell 'em
what happened.

Yeah, I guess that's what
we'd better do, all right.

Well, we were getting worried
about you two.

You certainly took
a long time getting home.
I know, Mom.

Uh, we sorta got
somethin' to tell ya.

Well, what is it?

Uh... well, the Beaver kinda
ran into a little bit of trouble.

Yeah.

Oh, no.
Not your blue suit too.

All right, how did it happen?

And I want the truth this time,
not a lot of nonsense.

Well, there was this dog, see.

Eddie pushed Wally,
and then the dog jumped on me—

All right, Beaver, that's enough.
Upstairs.

But, Dad, there really was—
You go with him.

But, Dad, this dog—
Dad, Wally was—

That's enough!
Upstairs, both of you.

Ward, I just don't understand
the Beaver doing this again.

“A dog bit me.”

You'd think if he was gonna make up
a lie, he'd at least have imagination
to make up a new one, wouldn't you?

[Sighs]

You know, Wally,

it's funny.

What's funny?

You tell a lie
and you get in trouble,

and you tell the truth
and you still get in trouble.

Yeah. I guess everything you do
when you're a kid gets you in trouble.

But, gee, you gotta do somethin'.

If you just sat around and did nothin',
It wouldn't be any fun bein' a kid.

Yeah.

What gets you is, Mom and Dad
don't even know we told 'em the truth.

— I'm still glad we did, though.
— Yeah?

Well, how come?

I don't know.

I kinda figure
at least somebody knows.

Uh-huh.

Well, thank you very much
for calling.

Oh, I'll tell him, all right.
Bye.

Who was that?
Mrs. Mondello.

Oh.
Ward.

Mm—hmm?

A dog did rip
the Beaver's pants.

What?
Her son Larry was there,
and he saw it all.

It seems that Wally and Eddie
got in some sort of argument,

and in the confusion
Eddie's dog ripped the Beaver's pants.

Oh, my gosh.

And we convinced them
that they couldn't possibly
get in trouble if they told the truth.

Looks like we've done
a pretty thorough job
of confusing them.

Yeah.

Well, there's—
there's only one thing to do.

I've gotta go upstairs
and tell 'em I made a mistake.

I just gotta tell 'em
I flew off the handle and...

made a fool of myself.

Don't look so sad, dear.

That's just one of the hazards
of being a father.

Yeah.

Ward

I'll go with you.