Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 27 - My Brother's Girl - full transcript

You let some girl
get her hooks on you,
and you're dead.

[Laugh]
Come on, fellas.

Wally?
What do you want,
Beave?

You don't like that
Mary Ellen, huh?

Nah. She's too stuck up.
She thinks she's pretty.

But she is pretty.
Yeah, but she doesn't
have to act like she is.

[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.

Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...

and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.

Hey, Wally, I said keep
stirring the beans.
They'll stick to the pot.

Okay, Dad. But I think
they're stuck already.
Well, well,just stir 'em.



Oh, uh— Beaver! I said
fill the water glasses,
Son, not the tray.

Water's sorta hard to pour.
It's kinda loose.

Yeah. Hmm.
Hey, Dad?

Yeah?
What time's Mom gettin' home?

Well, she should be home by now.
She went to that meeting
at your school. |— Oh!

Uh— Oh, here.
Beaver, you'd better
get the butter out.

Go ahead.
Get the butter out.

You know, Dad, eatin' dinner
is sure a lot easier
than cookin' it.

Yeah. When we started,
you said there was nothing to it.

Boys— Beaver, I thought
I told you to get the butter out.

Yes, Dad.

Now, let's see. Uh—

Well, hello, everybody.
Hi!
[Chuckles]

How we doing?
Oh,just fine.just fine.



Good.

Oh. Too well done.

The beans are sticking.

Hello, dear.
Hi.

Oh, Beaver, honey.
Not lengthwise!

What a mess!

Beave, why don't you and Wally
put the glasses on the table.

Okay, Mom.

Well, uh, everything
was going just fine, June.
[Chuckles]

Hey, Dad,
how's your burnt finger?

Uh, Wally.
you better get that water
on the table.

[Chuckles]

Well, now,
how was the meeting?

Oh, fine. Mrs. Delany
made quite a speech.

Seems there's a lack
of social awareness
in the eighth grade.

Such as?

Such as the boys aren't as
aware of the girls as the girls
are aware of the boys.

Oh.

Well, I don't believe| achieved
the full power of my awareness
until I was in high school.

— What did Mrs. Delany suggest?
— Well, they've got an eighth—grade dance
planned for this Saturday night.

They put me on the committee.

You know, that's funny.
Wally hasn't mentioned
a dance, has he?

Hope his gray suit
still fits him.

Oh, got the water
on the table, boys?

No, Dad.
We put it in glasses.

Hey, uh, Wally,
your mother was just telling me
there's a dance at school.

Yeah, I know.
Who are you gonna take?

— Take?
— Yeah, take.

You're surely not
going to a dance alone.

Oh, of course not, Dad.
I'm going with Eddie Haskell.

Well, I believe the idea of this dance
was to get the boys
and the girls together.

Gee, no foolin', Dad?

Well, I hope it doesn't turn out
like Christine's party.

The boys all just stood around,
and we had to dance
with ourselves.

Well, my mother says that it's because
some boys are just shy with girls.

You suppose they're as scared of us
as we are of them?

[All Laugh]

[Boys Chattering]

Hi, Wally.
Oh, hi, girls.

Hi, girls.
Hi, men.
[Laughs]

You know? I might just go
with Wally Cleaver.

Like fun you will.
He's not taking a girl.

He's told everyone
he's going with Eddie Haskell.

You just wait and see.

Hurry up, boys.
It's after 8:00!

They're getting a late start
for school, aren't they?

I had to send them back upstairs.
We had a little sock problem.
Sock?

Beaver wasn't wearing any,
and Wally had on a pair of yours.
Oh.

Now, how could
Wally wear—
Folded the toe back.

Well, you've had three days
now for some gentle hints.

How are you coming along
with Wally's date
for Saturday night?

Well, quite a few of the mothers
have called up to see if Wally
would go with their daughters.

Yeah.
Was he impressed?

Uh—uh. The first two girls
I mentioned, he made a face,

and the third one,
he said, "Are you kiddin'?"

Oh, here they come.
Why don't you try another one?

Oh, I'm okay now, Mom.
I got on a pair of my own.

So long, Dad.
So long, Son.

Oh, Wally, uh, I, uh—
Did you put the socks
where lean find them?

Oh, sure, Dad. They're right up
on the hall table.
Okay.

Couldn't possibly miss 'em there.

Wally! Wally, do you know
who I ran into in the market yesterday?

Uh—uh.
Mrs. Sutton.

She has a daughter in your class.
And she was saying—

I told you before, Mom.
I'm goin' with Eddie Haskell.
So long.

[Chuckles]
Well, I wouldn't be discouraged, dear.
Uh, I think there's real hope for him.

After all, he didn't
make a face this time.
[Laughs]

— [Footsteps Approaching]
—I got socks on now, Mom.

Hey, that's some hairdo
you got there, Beave.

Yeah. I'm eatin' in the cafeteria
with a new friend.

Well, that's nice, Beaver.
Must be some special friend
to get all spruced up.

Well, you won't tell Wally,
will ya?

— Of course not, Beave.
— Well, it's Mary Ellen Rogers.

We "eated" together
for three days now.

Well, I gotta get goin'.

Don't tell Wally,
'cause we're both
supposed to hate girls.

Oh, sure, Beave.

Well, bye, Mom.
Bye, Dad.
[June] Bye.

[Door Slams]

How do you like
that little character?
Sounds like he’s got a girl.

Ward, you know
Mary Ellen Rogers.

Why, she must be
13 years old.

Oh, Harry's daughter?
Uh-huh.

Why, she's in Wally's class.

Well, I wouldn't worry about
the Beaver. This sort of thing's
happened before, you know.

I understand Josephine
was eight years older
than Napoleon.

There you are.

I saved you a pear.

It's kinda squashy on one side.

Oh. Well.
no, thank you, Beaver.

Hey, Mary Ellen,
tomorrow's Saturday.

Can I come over in the morning
and run your father's electric trains again?

Well, I don't know, Beaver.

I think my mother
was sort of mad yesterday.

On account of the engine
goin' off the tracks?

No. She doesn't like me
to have a boy over by myself.

Oh.

It might be all right, though,
if you brought somebody.

Oh, sure. I'll bring my friend,
Larry Mondello.

Well, I mean a bigger person.

Gee, Larry weighs 145 pounds.

I was thinking of
an older person. Well—

Well, like your brother, Wally.

I don't think he'd come.
He hates girls.

Well, then, I'm very sorry, Beaver,
but you'd better not come over.

Well, I can at least ask him.

I don't know if he ever knew a girl
with electric trains before.

Well, you let me know.

Good morning.
I'm sorry, dear. I guess
I kind of overslept this morning.

Well, that's all right, dear.
I'll just run your coffee
through the grounds again.

Thank you.
I'll take it the way it is.

Well, this is the day
of the big dance, isn't it?

Uh—huh. I finally talked Wally
into wearing his gray suit.

He wanted to go
in a turtleneck sweater.

How about Beaver and his
December and May romance?
Anything more on that?

No, but something seemed to be
upsetting him this morning.
Hardly touched his breakfast.

Well, if he's gonna be interested
in women, he'll have to get used to
a certain amount of misery.

Now, how many women have
ever made you miserable?

[Chuckles]
Well—

Uh, June, you don't expect me
to answer a question like that?

Sit down, dear.
I'll burn you some toast.

Ward?
Mm—hmm.

Do you know who I think
Wally's going to dance with?
Eddie Haskell.

I don't think so.

I'll just bet you anything
that he ends up going
with Mary Ellen Rogers.

Why?
I don't know.
I've just got a feeling.

Maybe it's because her
mother drives that Jaguar.

Hey, Beave,
they'll go on easier
if you stand up.

I thunk I'd try it this way.

I never heard of anybody gettin'
Dressed sittin' in a chair before.

Why stand up to do somethin'
you can do sittin' down?

What you gonna
do today, Wally?

Well, I was gonna mess around
with Chester and Eddie,

but Chester got a sore throat,
So I guess I'll just
mess around with Eddie.

[Beaver]
You’re always messin’ around
with those guys.

I thought you'd like to
mess around with some other guys.

Yeah? Like who?

Like Mary Ellen Rogers.

Why would I wanna
mess around with her?

Cause her father's
got 'lectric trains.

No foolin'?
What kind of electric trains?

A whole big set.

Is that why you've been talkin'
to Mary Ellen in the cafeteria?

Yeah. I've been over to her house.

I even jumped a train
right off the track.

Well, electric trains are okay, Beaver,
but, well, Mary Ellen's a girl.

How could you run
an electric train with a girl?

She's really not
so much like a girl.

— She can make a muscle
and everything.
—Yeah, but still.

Why don't you come over
with me, Wally?

And we could both have fun
runnin' the 'lectric trains.

Yeah, but Mary Ellen
will still be there.

She'll probably be up
washin' her hair or somethin'.

Why don't you come with me, Wally?
They're real neat trains!

They are, huh?
They sure are.

Well, maybe I will.
I can mess around with Eddie
tonight at the dance.

Sure, you can.

I'm sorry, Eddie.
I don't know where Wally went.

He went off someplace
with the Beaver.

Well, you'll just
have to mess around
with someone else today.

What?

No, I'm sorry, Eddie, but Wally
is not wearing his turtleneck sweater
to the dance tonight.

Well, thank you, Eddie.
It's nice to talk to you too.

Good—bye.
June, where are the boys?

I wanna find out which one of them
used my hedge clippers
to cut tar paper with.

Well, they went out.
And, well, I guess I did it.

You used my hedge clippers
to cut tar paper with?

Well, I was lining
the window boxes.

And, well, the clippers
got so gummed up,
they wouldn't cut anything.

June, you—

W—
[Sighs]

The boys are out, huh?
Uh—huh, they went out
about a half an hour ago.

They both left here
with their hair combed.

I don't know why that bothers me,
but it does.

They're real neat,
aren't they, Wally?

Boy, they sure are.
Your father must be okay,
Mary Ellen.

Yeah, and he's hardly ever around.

[Train Whistle Blows]

[Train Engines Stop]

Aren't we gonna run
the electric trains no more?

Well, I thought we could all have
some ginger ale or something.

That's okay with me.

Me too!

Beaver, why don't you get it?
There's a lot of stuffin the icebox.

— Me?
— Would you please, Beaver?

Okay.

This is a nice room.

Thank you.

Um, we're gonna
get algebra next year.
You think you're gonna like it?

Oh, I don't know.
All those silly X's and Y's.

Yeah.
But I'm gonna take it though,
'cause I'm gonna be an engineer.

And my dad says you can't
count on your fingers.

An engineer, my.

Yeah.

Wally, you've got curly hair.

Well, I put junk on it,
but what can you do?

Yeah.

Are you going to
that dance tonight?

Well,yeah. My mom's
kinda makin' me.

I think she's on the committee
or somethin'.

Oh, I wouldn't go at all,
but if I don't,

well, the other girls
will think I'm stuck—up.

You mean you don't
wanna go much either?

Oh, no. And I think it's awful
the way some of these girls...

like Kathleen and Frances
will just do anything
to get a boy to take them.

Aren't you going with a boy?

Oh, no.
I wouldn't go at all, except—
Well, you know how it is.

Yeah, I wouldn't go either,
but my mom's on the committee
or something.

You know, Wally,
I was just thinking.

You're going to have to go,
and, well, I'm going to have to go.

— Maybe—
— Wally! Wally!

—I found some doughnuts.
— Hey, great, Beave.

How come you guys
stopped talkin' when I come in?

— Did we?
— Yeah.

How come you're not
runnin' the 'lectric trains?

Well, Beaver—

Beaver, I-I thought you were going
to get us some ginger ale.

Oh,yeah. I guess I forgot.

When I come back
we can run the electric trains.

Well, what do you think, Wally?

Huh? Oh!
They're real good doughnuts.

Well, I mean about the dance.

I mean after all, it—it looks like
we're both going to have to go,

even though neither one of us
is going to like it.

And I was just thinking—

Well, maybe
we could go together.

Well, why would we do that for?

Well, if you don't like something,

it's always good to have someone
with you not to like it with.

If you know what I mean.

Oh, sure. Like up at scout camp
when it's your turn
to bury the garbage,

they always let you
do it in pairs.

Then you think I'm right
about the dance?

Well, I-I guess so.

I found the ginger ale.
Oh, Thank you, Beaver.

I put ice in it
and everything.

You stopped talkin' again.

Beaver, why don't you go out
and have yours in the kitchen?

Why? I want to have it
with you guys.

Well, Wally and I are talking
about something important.

Aren't we, Wally?

Uh, yeah. I guess so.

Oh. I think I'll drink my ginger ale,
and then I'll go home.

Will you be comin' then, Wally?

Well—
Oh, he'll be along later, Beaver.

Uh,yeah.
I guess I'll be along later.

Oh. Yeah.
Well, so long.

— Hey, Wally.
—Yeah?

[Growls]

What did he do that for?

I don't know.
Kids are always
doin' somethin' goofy.

Hi, Dad.
Hi, Beave.

What you doing there?
Cleaning the tar
off these hedge clippers.

How did it get there?

Your mother
cut tar paper with them.

Aren't you supposed to
cut hedges with 'em?
That's right.

Then how come Mom
cut tar paper with 'em?

Well, Beaver, that's one
of the things it's not given us
to understand about women.

You know a lot about women,
don't you, Dad?

[Chuckles]
Yeah, I guess so.

Dad, with cowboys and Indians,

there's good guys
and bad guys, isn't there?

Mm—hmm.

Is it the same with women?

Yeah, Beaver, I guess you could say
there's good ones and bad ones.

Do you know Mary Ellen Rogers?

Yeah, I've seen her.

Do you think
she's a good one or a bad one?

Beaver, why would you ask
a question like that?

I thought Mary Ellen
was a good friend of yours.

So did I.

But I brought Wally over there,
and they both looked at each other.

Then they told me to
drink my ginger ale in the kitchen.

Uh-huh.

Well, Beaver,
I'm afraid Mary Ellen may have
just got friendly with you...

so she could get Wally to
take her to the dance tonight.

I'm afraid so too.

You know, I think
you learned quite a lot
about women today.

You can count yourself fortunate
you learned with something
as inexpensive as ginger ale.

You know, Dad,
now it's all over with,

I feel kinda silly.

Well, Beaver,
I'll tell you something
about women.

They have a wonderful capacity
for love and understanding.

Their tenderness and sweetness
are all—encompassing.

But at times, they do
have a knack of making us men
look very, very silly.

I heard that, Ward Cleaver.

Oh, hi, Mom.
Yeah. Hi, Mom.

Hi. Ward,you oughta
be ashamed of yourself,

putting ideas like that
in the Beaver's mind.

Oh, yeah? Do you know
what Mary Ellen Rogers did?

She used the Beaver
in order to get Wally
to take her to the dance tonight.

And don't look so shocked,
because it's exactly
what you predicted she'd do.

I'm not shocked! As a woman,
I'm very proud of Mary Ellen.

You mean you think
women should act this way?

It's the way women have to act!

Well, if we sat around
and waited until you men
got interested in us...

and got good and ready
to settle down and ha i/e families,

why, this—this
whole continent of America...

would be nothing but buffaloes,
jackrabbits and grizzly bears!

Now, look, June—

Now I'm gonna go up,
and I'm gonna lay out Wally's gray suit.

You call the florist,
and you order a corsage
for Mary Ellen.

[Ward]
Yes, dear.

Did you win, Dad?

Well, Beaver, sometimes
I'm not sure whether us men
are ever supposed to win.

[Chuckles]
Do you understand
any of this, Beaver?

Not 'zactly.

But I think beginning Monday,
I'll start eatin' with my friend
Larry Mondello again.

[Chuckles]
Dad is waiting in the car,
Mr. Cleaver.

Oh, good, good.

Wally will be down in a minute,
Mary Ellen.

My, you look nice.

Oh, Thank you.

I, uh, hope the corsage
was all right.

Oh, yes.
Wally has wonderful taste.

[Chuckles]
Well—

Hello, Wally.
Hi.

Wally, aren’t you going to tell
Mary Ellen ho w nice she looks?

Well, gee, Mom,
I was gonna tell her that
when we got outside.

Well—
Yeah, well—

[Ward]
Have a good time, kids.

Oh, um, good night.
Yeah.

Good night.
Oh, say, Wally.

Uh, well,
have a good time, Wally.

Yeah, sure, Dad.
Good night.

[Chuckles]

Well, Beaver, you didn't even
speak to Mary Ellen.
You're not still mad at her, are you?

Not exactly. |just didn't
want to let her know
I knew she was there.

[Beaver]
Good night.
Good night.