Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 2 - Captain Jack - full transcript
Wally and Beaver secretly order a Florida alligator from a comic book ad, planning to keep the creature in their bathtub. But when a tiny, baby alligator shows up in a shoebox instead of the full grown, 8-footer shown in the ad, the boys enlist the help of crusty alligator expert, Captain Jack, to raise their new pet.
[Ward Narrating]
Children and adults look at the world
through different eyes.
When you’re young,
a policeman stands 10 feet tall
And if you see it in print,
it’s supposed to be true.
And the first time you fall in love,
it’s not always with a girl
[Hissing]
And that’s our story tonight
on Leave It To Beaver.
[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
Prospecting again?
One marble, two pieces of candy,
assorted peanut shells,
what appears to be a Peruvian nickel—
[Grunts]
Oh. Have a caramel.
Ew. No.
It‘s too fuzzy.
[Chuckles]
I‘ll get something
to put all this in.
Oop, never mind.
One sock.
Well, we have a sizable amount of loot.
Where are the little pirates?
The boys?
They‘re upstairs in their room.
—I think they‘re sending away
for something again.
— Cutting out box tops?
Well, they borrowed one envelope,
one three—cent stamp and a pair of scissors.
Well, whatever they‘re doing,
it‘s probably childish but, uh, harmless.
[Wally]
"Raise an Everglades alligator
in your own home. ”
“‘Spress charges prepaid.”
“Live delivery guaranteed.
No C.O.D.‘s."
Wally, we can keep it in the bathtub.
Well, okay.
Let‘s send for it.
But an eight—foot alligator
for only two dollars and a half—
there must be a catch to it.
But, Wally, they wouldn‘t let ‘em
print it in Robot Men of Mars
unless it was the truth.
Yeah, I guess you‘re right.
Wally?
Yeah?
How long before
our alligator comes?
Hmm, about a week, I suppose.
Oh. Then I guess it‘s too early
to fill up the bathtub.
Wally! He‘s come! He‘s come!
He‘s at the ‘spress office.
I filled the bathtub
so it‘d be ready for our alligator.
Beaver, if we keep him in there,
we won‘t be able to take a bath.
Yeah.
It‘s real good havin‘ an alligator.
“To Theodore Cleaver."
Sign here.
Here y‘are.
Is this all there is?
Well, “Express prepaid from Florida.”
That‘s her.
Yes, sir?
[No Audible Dialogue]
Maybe they ‘spressed
the food first.
Well, if it was food,
why would they put the holes in the box?
Maybe it‘s live food.
We better open it.
Maybe if you put him in water,
he swells up.
Who ever heard
Of a dehydrated alligator?
Wally, have we been “tooken”?
Beaver, we‘ve really been “tooken.”
Hey! Supper will be ready
in a few minutes.
Oh. Where are the kids?
Well, they came home from school,
and they went right upstairs with their books.
They must be sick.
[Chuckles]
I don‘t think so.
Came down twice for food.
Hey, you better tell ‘em
to wash up for supper.
All right.
Do you think
he‘s happy, Wally?
I don‘t know.
With an alligator, it‘s hard to tell.
It sure is.
Wally, you promised
you‘d help me with him.
What do we do now?
Well, we could ask Dad,
but I don‘t know if he‘d want us
to have an alligator— even a little one.
Come on, Wally.
Wash up for supper, boys.
Okay.
Dad, could we have a pet?
— What kind of a pet?
— Any kind.
Now look, guys.
We’ve been overall this before.
I have to tell you to wash up for supper.
Your mother has to tell you
to clean up your room.
Now when you show us that you can
take care of yourselves and your room,
then we‘ll talk about a pet.
That a deal?
[Wally]
Okay
[Beaver]
Dad?
Do you know anything
about alligators?
Beaver, why do you want
to know about alligators?
Uh, uh—
Uh, I think he‘s studying
about ‘em in school, Dad.
Yeah, Dad. I think I‘m studying
about them in school.
| see. Well, let‘s see.
Um—
Uh, they‘re both
amphibious and carnivorous.
Uh, alligators are often mistakenly
called crocodiles, or, uh—
[Chuckles]
crocodiles are ofi‘en mistakenly
called alligators.
Their natural habitat is the damp,
humid climate of the Gulf states,
and they often die in captivity.
— Now will you wash up for supper?
— [Door Closes]
What do we do now?
Well, I guess we just have to find somebody
that knows something about alligators.
[No Audible Dialogue]
Here at the Alligator Farm,
you will notice we have the creatures
segregated according to age.
This is not done solely
for the convenience
Of the visitors.
It is a necessary precaution
for the survival of the species.
The alligator is cannibalistic by nature
and has a very nasty appetite
for other alligators.
You put ‘em in together,
and the big beggars‘ll
eat the little beggars.
[Hissing]
Now behave yourself, Gwendolyn.
I‘ll kick your teeth in.
[Alligator Hissing Loudly]
[Gate Closing]
Now you‘ve probably noticed
that some of our scaly friends
are minus an arm or a leg...
or other vulnerable appendages.
Now if you was to fall in here among
these beasts, you probably believe
they would bite off your arm...
alter the fashion of the shark
or the barracuda.
This is a fallacy The alligator
would not bite ofi‘ your arm.
He would saw if off.
Wally, where would he get the saw?
[Whispering]
Shh. Quiet.
Yes, sir, the alligator would remove
your limb from your body...
with a sawing motion
Of his powerful jaws.
This may take considerable time,
but the end result would be the same.
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
we have 1,500 assorted
alligators here on the farm.
You may observe
these creatures
At your leisure.
Our courteous attendants
will be glad to answer
any and every question.
I hope you come back again,
and please tell your friends.
Captain jack, we‘d—
we‘d like to ask you somethin‘.
Well, that‘s what I‘m here for.
What do alligators eat—
besides arms and legs?
Well, now that‘s
a very good question,
young man.
Well, most of these gators‘ll
eat over 20 pounds
of horsemeat every day.
We mean baby alligators.
Hey, you two fellers seem to be
pretty interested in these critters.
You got one at home?
Nope. Right here.
Hey.
Now you don‘t want
to keep him in water too much.
His skin‘s beginnin‘ to crack.
He‘s a pretty good size, though.
[Wally]
0ur dad says they die in captivity
We don‘t want him to conk out.
Yeah, well, now, no disrespect intended,
but sometimes dads don‘t know
too much about alligators.
Sometimes they don‘t know
too much about boys.
But anyway, whether this gator
lives or not ain‘t up to him.
It‘s up to you two fellers.
Up to us?
Yeah. A lot of kids get these gators
and they fuss over ‘em for a couple or
three days, and then they forget about ‘em.
Well, if you don‘t care,
pretty soon the alligator don‘t care.
And when neither one of you care,
there ain‘t no reason for him
to hang around anymore.
He must be sick or somethin‘.
He won‘t even eat the flies we got him.
Let me give you a little tip.
You getcha some warm milk
in an eyedropper.
Then you pry open his mouth,
and you get it right down
in his little gizzard.
Once it‘s on its way down there,
there ain‘t nothin‘ else he can do
but eat it.
Right?
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
And then you might try a little raw egg.
And here‘s something
I don‘t tell everybody.
If he don‘t perk up,
when you fill that eyedropper,
put a little brandy in the milk.
Brandy?
Yep. Not only makes
for a healthy alligator,
it makes for
a happy alligator.
[Laughs]
Right?
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Well, now under normal circumstances,
his chances ain‘t too good.
But I‘m countin‘ more on you two boys
than I am on the gator.
You got a name for him?
No, not yet.
We were gonna—
Yes, we have.
We‘re gonna call him
Captain jack.
Here, darling.
Good mornin‘.
Oh, good morning, Minerva.
I told Minerva to come three times a week
now to help with the cleaning
and the laundry.
Oh.
Well, that‘s fine with me.
Hey, what goes on?
Saturday morning and
the boys are not down yet.
Haven‘t had breakfast,
but I heard water running
in the bathtub.
Well, they had a bath
day before yesterday.
Two baths in three days.
That‘s some kind of a record.
He looks a lot happier today.
Cootchy—cootchy—coo.
Ooh!
He‘s a lot hungrier too.
He doesn‘t look like
he‘s gonna conk.
Beaver, will you leave
my alligator alone?
What‘s that?
Beauty cream.
If we keep him oiled,
his skin won‘t crack.
Hmm,
Ew. Wally,
what‘s brandy made of?
Grapes. People in France
crush ‘em with their feet.
I thought so.
Should we give him
his egg now?
No, we‘ll give that to him later.
We‘d better get down to breakfast.
All right, Captain Jack,
Back into your aquarium.
Eight, nine, 10.
What‘s the matter?
I could have sworn there were
a dozen eggs in here yesterday.
It‘s funny too.
It‘s happened before.
Hey, you know, now that you mention it,
someone‘s been getting at that bottle
of brandy I got last Christmas.
It‘s gone down
two inches in a week.
That‘s not all that‘s disappeared.
I‘m missing a bottle of my beauty cream.
Brandy, beauty cream and raw eggs.
Well, it‘s nothing the boys
could be interested in.
[No Audible Dialogue]
[No Audible Dialogue]
You will notice we have separated
Captain Jack by himself.
This is a necessary precaution
for the survival of the species,
as these animals
are “cannibalistical” by nature.
— [Hisses]
— That means they eat people.
If you were to fall in the compound,
Captain Jack would not bite your arm off.
He would saw it off.
This concludes your tour.
We hope you will come back,
and please tell your friends.
Thank you.
You‘re welcome.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
How much?
Fifty cents. Remember,
I get to give the speech tomorrow.
He‘s too big to conk out now.
He‘s almost too big
for his aquarium.
We‘ll put him down in the old laundry tub.
Nobody uses it anymore.
[Alligator Hisses]
Now it‘s half empty.
Who do you suppose
has been getting at it?
And the eggs.
We‘re losing about four a week.
And yesterday, another bottle
of my beauty cream disappeared.
Well, it‘s got me.
[Minerva]
# Beautiful dreamer, I’m dreaming of you,#
Oh, Mrs. Cleaver, I‘ll have to
hang these in the basement.
There‘s no sun out, you know.
All right, Minerva.
# Beautiful dreamer #
[Door Closes]
# Dreaming of you #
[Continues Scatting Loudly]
June,
doesn‘t Minerva seem, uh,
unnecessarily gay this morning?
She‘s always been
the cheerful type.
Uh-huh.
You know, I think
we‘re getting somewhere.
Oh, it couldn‘t be Minerva.
Anyway, what about
the raw eggs?
Well, I‘ve always heard
they‘re a very popular antidote.
And the beauty cream?
Well, um, maybe after a few nips
she begins to feel romantic.
Oh, don‘t be silly.
[Laughing]
After all, we‘ve known her for months.
[Minerva]
Help/Help!
Help! There ’s a monster!
[Exhales Heavily]
There‘s a— an alligator in the—
in the basement.
[Exhales]
—An alligator?
— Are you sure?
Am I sure?
There he was lookin‘ up at me
from the laundry tubs.
Well, he must have been at least—
at least five foot long.
Oh, I got the scare of me life.
Minerva, you needn‘t finish the wash today.
Well, I have no idea of goin‘ back
into that cellar again.
Alligators! I-
We‘ll just get our hat,
and we can discuss it
on the way to the bus stop.
Come on. Here.
But me—
me day isn‘t over yet.
Yes, Minerva. I‘m afraid it is.
Oh, Ward, maybe we could talk it over.
We‘ll talk it over when Minerva
feels more nearly herself again.
Now come on.
Now Ward, please.
Something‘s frightened her.
“Frightened her,” she says?
I‘ll say it has.
You‘re gonna get in trouble
with the board of health,
keepin‘ them alligators.
We‘ve got pink elephants in the closet too.
But they‘ll all be gone tomorrow.
Now come on.
Never mind the pink elephants.
I have to work with the alligators—
Here we go. Sure—
[Doorbell Rings]
Yes?
Are Wally
and the Beaver home?
No. They‘re out somewhere.
Do I give you the dime
to see Captain Jack?
Who? Uh, no.
Are you sure you have the right house?
Oh, yes.
Captain jack
The alligator that Wally
and the Beaver have.
Oh, the alligator
that Wally and the Beaver have.
How do you like that Minerva?
She protested her innocence
all the way to the bus stop.
[Chuckling]
What‘s the matter with you?
Well, as they say in soap operas,
While you were giving Minerva the sack,
I went down in the basement.
Well?
There‘s an alligator
in the laundry tub.
[Chuckles]
Now,June, come on.
Your sons have an alligator.
Go look for yourself.
[Sniffs]
All right. All right.
I‘ll go down in the basement and look
in the, uh— in the laundry tub...
for the alligator.
I‘ll be right back.
[Footsteps 0n Stairs]
Introduce yourself.
His name is Captain Jack.
0w!
[Footsteps 0n Stairs]
Convinced?
I thought the thing was a toy.
I picked it up, and it bit me.
[Snickers]
[Both Chuckling]
Let me see this.
Oh! Careful.
Yeah.
You know, the little fella
didn‘t actually bite me.
He kinda sawed at me.
Wally—
Yeah?
What do you think he‘s gonna do to us?
I don’t know
I still think we would have been
a lot better off if Captain Jack
hadn‘t bit him.
You know, I can‘t help being
kinda proud of those kids.
Do you realize it‘s practically impossible
to raise an alligator to that size?
Mm—hmm.
What happens now that he‘s switched
from raw eggs to people?
Well, he‘s... not exactly
an ideal household pet.
Well,we‘ll just have to
turn him over to a zoo
or an animal shelter.
Ward, that‘s gonna
break their hearts.
Yeah, I know.
You better tell ‘em
first thing in the morning.
Oh, no, you don‘t.
| apologized to Minerva,
and this is your job,
and you better do it tonight. Go on.
[Mouthing Words]
[Footsteps Approaching]
Beaver—
Yes, Wally?
Here he comes.
[Imitating Snoring]
[Continues Imitating Snoring]
That never fools him.
You awake, boys?
We were just going to sleep, Dad.
I, um—I want to talk to you
fora minute.
[Clears Throat]
Boys,
I‘m proud of you.
You are?
You are?
Sure, I am.
I can imagine the time and the effort
you put into raising Captain Jack.
We love Captain Jack.
We weren‘t gonna let him conk out.
No. Of course not. Um—
Uh, but there‘s something
you have to understand
about Captain Jack.
Um, t—take you fellas,
for instance.
Now someday you‘re gonna
grow up and go off and leave
your mother and me.
You’ll, uh— You ’ll get married
and have a home and a family
of your own. Y—
— Do you understand what I‘m getting at?
— Captain Jack‘s gonna get married?
[Wally]
You‘re gonna take him away from us,
aren‘t you, Dad?
Dad, we made a deal.
You said if we could take care of a pet,
we could have a pet. We love Captain Jack.
Well, this isn‘t a punishment, Beaver.
Like I told you, I—
I think you did a great job with him.
But, you see, he‘s getting bigger.
Now I know you want him to be happy,
a—and alligators are just simply not happy
living with people any more than people
are happy living with alligators.
We‘re happy living with Captain Jack.
Look. I know you love him,
and I know you want to go on
taking care of him.
But you can‘t hang on to things
you love forever, Beaver.
You have to turn ’em loose,
give ’em a chance.
Now if he stays here,
he‘s apt to get sick or lonely...
or wander out in the street
and get run over.
Boys, he belongs where he‘s happy.
All right, Dad.
We understand.
Yeah. We ‘stand.
Okay, boys.
Good night, boys.
Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver, you got
two mighty fine boys here.
[Hisses]
They done a real good job
raisin‘ this gator.
Well, Thank you, Mr.— er—
Captain Jack.
Yep. When you get a little older,
you fellers can come
and work for me anytime.
That‘s swell, Captain Jack.
And anytime you wanna come and visit
your little friend here, you walk right in
like you own the place.
Admission’s on me.
Thank you, sir.
Well, uh— [Sighs]
I... guess we‘d better be
getting on home, boys.
Don‘t let him get his legs sawed off,
Captain Jack. He‘s not used to being
with strange alligators.
Now don‘t you worry about a thing.
I‘ll take him around
and introduce him personal.
Thanks again,
Captain Jack.
Come on, boys.
You better get on upstairs, boys,
and change your clothes.
Aw, couldn‘t we
watch TV first, Dad?
Do what your father tells you to.
Come on. Up you go.
I‘m gonna go see
Captain Jack every week.
Me too. I wanna—
[Dog Vocalizing]
[Vocalizing Continues]
[Barks]
[Whimpering]
Children and adults look at the world
through different eyes.
When you’re young,
a policeman stands 10 feet tall
And if you see it in print,
it’s supposed to be true.
And the first time you fall in love,
it’s not always with a girl
[Hissing]
And that’s our story tonight
on Leave It To Beaver.
[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
Prospecting again?
One marble, two pieces of candy,
assorted peanut shells,
what appears to be a Peruvian nickel—
[Grunts]
Oh. Have a caramel.
Ew. No.
It‘s too fuzzy.
[Chuckles]
I‘ll get something
to put all this in.
Oop, never mind.
One sock.
Well, we have a sizable amount of loot.
Where are the little pirates?
The boys?
They‘re upstairs in their room.
—I think they‘re sending away
for something again.
— Cutting out box tops?
Well, they borrowed one envelope,
one three—cent stamp and a pair of scissors.
Well, whatever they‘re doing,
it‘s probably childish but, uh, harmless.
[Wally]
"Raise an Everglades alligator
in your own home. ”
“‘Spress charges prepaid.”
“Live delivery guaranteed.
No C.O.D.‘s."
Wally, we can keep it in the bathtub.
Well, okay.
Let‘s send for it.
But an eight—foot alligator
for only two dollars and a half—
there must be a catch to it.
But, Wally, they wouldn‘t let ‘em
print it in Robot Men of Mars
unless it was the truth.
Yeah, I guess you‘re right.
Wally?
Yeah?
How long before
our alligator comes?
Hmm, about a week, I suppose.
Oh. Then I guess it‘s too early
to fill up the bathtub.
Wally! He‘s come! He‘s come!
He‘s at the ‘spress office.
I filled the bathtub
so it‘d be ready for our alligator.
Beaver, if we keep him in there,
we won‘t be able to take a bath.
Yeah.
It‘s real good havin‘ an alligator.
“To Theodore Cleaver."
Sign here.
Here y‘are.
Is this all there is?
Well, “Express prepaid from Florida.”
That‘s her.
Yes, sir?
[No Audible Dialogue]
Maybe they ‘spressed
the food first.
Well, if it was food,
why would they put the holes in the box?
Maybe it‘s live food.
We better open it.
Maybe if you put him in water,
he swells up.
Who ever heard
Of a dehydrated alligator?
Wally, have we been “tooken”?
Beaver, we‘ve really been “tooken.”
Hey! Supper will be ready
in a few minutes.
Oh. Where are the kids?
Well, they came home from school,
and they went right upstairs with their books.
They must be sick.
[Chuckles]
I don‘t think so.
Came down twice for food.
Hey, you better tell ‘em
to wash up for supper.
All right.
Do you think
he‘s happy, Wally?
I don‘t know.
With an alligator, it‘s hard to tell.
It sure is.
Wally, you promised
you‘d help me with him.
What do we do now?
Well, we could ask Dad,
but I don‘t know if he‘d want us
to have an alligator— even a little one.
Come on, Wally.
Wash up for supper, boys.
Okay.
Dad, could we have a pet?
— What kind of a pet?
— Any kind.
Now look, guys.
We’ve been overall this before.
I have to tell you to wash up for supper.
Your mother has to tell you
to clean up your room.
Now when you show us that you can
take care of yourselves and your room,
then we‘ll talk about a pet.
That a deal?
[Wally]
Okay
[Beaver]
Dad?
Do you know anything
about alligators?
Beaver, why do you want
to know about alligators?
Uh, uh—
Uh, I think he‘s studying
about ‘em in school, Dad.
Yeah, Dad. I think I‘m studying
about them in school.
| see. Well, let‘s see.
Um—
Uh, they‘re both
amphibious and carnivorous.
Uh, alligators are often mistakenly
called crocodiles, or, uh—
[Chuckles]
crocodiles are ofi‘en mistakenly
called alligators.
Their natural habitat is the damp,
humid climate of the Gulf states,
and they often die in captivity.
— Now will you wash up for supper?
— [Door Closes]
What do we do now?
Well, I guess we just have to find somebody
that knows something about alligators.
[No Audible Dialogue]
Here at the Alligator Farm,
you will notice we have the creatures
segregated according to age.
This is not done solely
for the convenience
Of the visitors.
It is a necessary precaution
for the survival of the species.
The alligator is cannibalistic by nature
and has a very nasty appetite
for other alligators.
You put ‘em in together,
and the big beggars‘ll
eat the little beggars.
[Hissing]
Now behave yourself, Gwendolyn.
I‘ll kick your teeth in.
[Alligator Hissing Loudly]
[Gate Closing]
Now you‘ve probably noticed
that some of our scaly friends
are minus an arm or a leg...
or other vulnerable appendages.
Now if you was to fall in here among
these beasts, you probably believe
they would bite off your arm...
alter the fashion of the shark
or the barracuda.
This is a fallacy The alligator
would not bite ofi‘ your arm.
He would saw if off.
Wally, where would he get the saw?
[Whispering]
Shh. Quiet.
Yes, sir, the alligator would remove
your limb from your body...
with a sawing motion
Of his powerful jaws.
This may take considerable time,
but the end result would be the same.
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
we have 1,500 assorted
alligators here on the farm.
You may observe
these creatures
At your leisure.
Our courteous attendants
will be glad to answer
any and every question.
I hope you come back again,
and please tell your friends.
Captain jack, we‘d—
we‘d like to ask you somethin‘.
Well, that‘s what I‘m here for.
What do alligators eat—
besides arms and legs?
Well, now that‘s
a very good question,
young man.
Well, most of these gators‘ll
eat over 20 pounds
of horsemeat every day.
We mean baby alligators.
Hey, you two fellers seem to be
pretty interested in these critters.
You got one at home?
Nope. Right here.
Hey.
Now you don‘t want
to keep him in water too much.
His skin‘s beginnin‘ to crack.
He‘s a pretty good size, though.
[Wally]
0ur dad says they die in captivity
We don‘t want him to conk out.
Yeah, well, now, no disrespect intended,
but sometimes dads don‘t know
too much about alligators.
Sometimes they don‘t know
too much about boys.
But anyway, whether this gator
lives or not ain‘t up to him.
It‘s up to you two fellers.
Up to us?
Yeah. A lot of kids get these gators
and they fuss over ‘em for a couple or
three days, and then they forget about ‘em.
Well, if you don‘t care,
pretty soon the alligator don‘t care.
And when neither one of you care,
there ain‘t no reason for him
to hang around anymore.
He must be sick or somethin‘.
He won‘t even eat the flies we got him.
Let me give you a little tip.
You getcha some warm milk
in an eyedropper.
Then you pry open his mouth,
and you get it right down
in his little gizzard.
Once it‘s on its way down there,
there ain‘t nothin‘ else he can do
but eat it.
Right?
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
And then you might try a little raw egg.
And here‘s something
I don‘t tell everybody.
If he don‘t perk up,
when you fill that eyedropper,
put a little brandy in the milk.
Brandy?
Yep. Not only makes
for a healthy alligator,
it makes for
a happy alligator.
[Laughs]
Right?
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Well, now under normal circumstances,
his chances ain‘t too good.
But I‘m countin‘ more on you two boys
than I am on the gator.
You got a name for him?
No, not yet.
We were gonna—
Yes, we have.
We‘re gonna call him
Captain jack.
Here, darling.
Good mornin‘.
Oh, good morning, Minerva.
I told Minerva to come three times a week
now to help with the cleaning
and the laundry.
Oh.
Well, that‘s fine with me.
Hey, what goes on?
Saturday morning and
the boys are not down yet.
Haven‘t had breakfast,
but I heard water running
in the bathtub.
Well, they had a bath
day before yesterday.
Two baths in three days.
That‘s some kind of a record.
He looks a lot happier today.
Cootchy—cootchy—coo.
Ooh!
He‘s a lot hungrier too.
He doesn‘t look like
he‘s gonna conk.
Beaver, will you leave
my alligator alone?
What‘s that?
Beauty cream.
If we keep him oiled,
his skin won‘t crack.
Hmm,
Ew. Wally,
what‘s brandy made of?
Grapes. People in France
crush ‘em with their feet.
I thought so.
Should we give him
his egg now?
No, we‘ll give that to him later.
We‘d better get down to breakfast.
All right, Captain Jack,
Back into your aquarium.
Eight, nine, 10.
What‘s the matter?
I could have sworn there were
a dozen eggs in here yesterday.
It‘s funny too.
It‘s happened before.
Hey, you know, now that you mention it,
someone‘s been getting at that bottle
of brandy I got last Christmas.
It‘s gone down
two inches in a week.
That‘s not all that‘s disappeared.
I‘m missing a bottle of my beauty cream.
Brandy, beauty cream and raw eggs.
Well, it‘s nothing the boys
could be interested in.
[No Audible Dialogue]
[No Audible Dialogue]
You will notice we have separated
Captain Jack by himself.
This is a necessary precaution
for the survival of the species,
as these animals
are “cannibalistical” by nature.
— [Hisses]
— That means they eat people.
If you were to fall in the compound,
Captain Jack would not bite your arm off.
He would saw it off.
This concludes your tour.
We hope you will come back,
and please tell your friends.
Thank you.
You‘re welcome.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
How much?
Fifty cents. Remember,
I get to give the speech tomorrow.
He‘s too big to conk out now.
He‘s almost too big
for his aquarium.
We‘ll put him down in the old laundry tub.
Nobody uses it anymore.
[Alligator Hisses]
Now it‘s half empty.
Who do you suppose
has been getting at it?
And the eggs.
We‘re losing about four a week.
And yesterday, another bottle
of my beauty cream disappeared.
Well, it‘s got me.
[Minerva]
# Beautiful dreamer, I’m dreaming of you,#
Oh, Mrs. Cleaver, I‘ll have to
hang these in the basement.
There‘s no sun out, you know.
All right, Minerva.
# Beautiful dreamer #
[Door Closes]
# Dreaming of you #
[Continues Scatting Loudly]
June,
doesn‘t Minerva seem, uh,
unnecessarily gay this morning?
She‘s always been
the cheerful type.
Uh-huh.
You know, I think
we‘re getting somewhere.
Oh, it couldn‘t be Minerva.
Anyway, what about
the raw eggs?
Well, I‘ve always heard
they‘re a very popular antidote.
And the beauty cream?
Well, um, maybe after a few nips
she begins to feel romantic.
Oh, don‘t be silly.
[Laughing]
After all, we‘ve known her for months.
[Minerva]
Help/Help!
Help! There ’s a monster!
[Exhales Heavily]
There‘s a— an alligator in the—
in the basement.
[Exhales]
—An alligator?
— Are you sure?
Am I sure?
There he was lookin‘ up at me
from the laundry tubs.
Well, he must have been at least—
at least five foot long.
Oh, I got the scare of me life.
Minerva, you needn‘t finish the wash today.
Well, I have no idea of goin‘ back
into that cellar again.
Alligators! I-
We‘ll just get our hat,
and we can discuss it
on the way to the bus stop.
Come on. Here.
But me—
me day isn‘t over yet.
Yes, Minerva. I‘m afraid it is.
Oh, Ward, maybe we could talk it over.
We‘ll talk it over when Minerva
feels more nearly herself again.
Now come on.
Now Ward, please.
Something‘s frightened her.
“Frightened her,” she says?
I‘ll say it has.
You‘re gonna get in trouble
with the board of health,
keepin‘ them alligators.
We‘ve got pink elephants in the closet too.
But they‘ll all be gone tomorrow.
Now come on.
Never mind the pink elephants.
I have to work with the alligators—
Here we go. Sure—
[Doorbell Rings]
Yes?
Are Wally
and the Beaver home?
No. They‘re out somewhere.
Do I give you the dime
to see Captain Jack?
Who? Uh, no.
Are you sure you have the right house?
Oh, yes.
Captain jack
The alligator that Wally
and the Beaver have.
Oh, the alligator
that Wally and the Beaver have.
How do you like that Minerva?
She protested her innocence
all the way to the bus stop.
[Chuckling]
What‘s the matter with you?
Well, as they say in soap operas,
While you were giving Minerva the sack,
I went down in the basement.
Well?
There‘s an alligator
in the laundry tub.
[Chuckles]
Now,June, come on.
Your sons have an alligator.
Go look for yourself.
[Sniffs]
All right. All right.
I‘ll go down in the basement and look
in the, uh— in the laundry tub...
for the alligator.
I‘ll be right back.
[Footsteps 0n Stairs]
Introduce yourself.
His name is Captain Jack.
0w!
[Footsteps 0n Stairs]
Convinced?
I thought the thing was a toy.
I picked it up, and it bit me.
[Snickers]
[Both Chuckling]
Let me see this.
Oh! Careful.
Yeah.
You know, the little fella
didn‘t actually bite me.
He kinda sawed at me.
Wally—
Yeah?
What do you think he‘s gonna do to us?
I don’t know
I still think we would have been
a lot better off if Captain Jack
hadn‘t bit him.
You know, I can‘t help being
kinda proud of those kids.
Do you realize it‘s practically impossible
to raise an alligator to that size?
Mm—hmm.
What happens now that he‘s switched
from raw eggs to people?
Well, he‘s... not exactly
an ideal household pet.
Well,we‘ll just have to
turn him over to a zoo
or an animal shelter.
Ward, that‘s gonna
break their hearts.
Yeah, I know.
You better tell ‘em
first thing in the morning.
Oh, no, you don‘t.
| apologized to Minerva,
and this is your job,
and you better do it tonight. Go on.
[Mouthing Words]
[Footsteps Approaching]
Beaver—
Yes, Wally?
Here he comes.
[Imitating Snoring]
[Continues Imitating Snoring]
That never fools him.
You awake, boys?
We were just going to sleep, Dad.
I, um—I want to talk to you
fora minute.
[Clears Throat]
Boys,
I‘m proud of you.
You are?
You are?
Sure, I am.
I can imagine the time and the effort
you put into raising Captain Jack.
We love Captain Jack.
We weren‘t gonna let him conk out.
No. Of course not. Um—
Uh, but there‘s something
you have to understand
about Captain Jack.
Um, t—take you fellas,
for instance.
Now someday you‘re gonna
grow up and go off and leave
your mother and me.
You’ll, uh— You ’ll get married
and have a home and a family
of your own. Y—
— Do you understand what I‘m getting at?
— Captain Jack‘s gonna get married?
[Wally]
You‘re gonna take him away from us,
aren‘t you, Dad?
Dad, we made a deal.
You said if we could take care of a pet,
we could have a pet. We love Captain Jack.
Well, this isn‘t a punishment, Beaver.
Like I told you, I—
I think you did a great job with him.
But, you see, he‘s getting bigger.
Now I know you want him to be happy,
a—and alligators are just simply not happy
living with people any more than people
are happy living with alligators.
We‘re happy living with Captain Jack.
Look. I know you love him,
and I know you want to go on
taking care of him.
But you can‘t hang on to things
you love forever, Beaver.
You have to turn ’em loose,
give ’em a chance.
Now if he stays here,
he‘s apt to get sick or lonely...
or wander out in the street
and get run over.
Boys, he belongs where he‘s happy.
All right, Dad.
We understand.
Yeah. We ‘stand.
Okay, boys.
Good night, boys.
Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver, you got
two mighty fine boys here.
[Hisses]
They done a real good job
raisin‘ this gator.
Well, Thank you, Mr.— er—
Captain Jack.
Yep. When you get a little older,
you fellers can come
and work for me anytime.
That‘s swell, Captain Jack.
And anytime you wanna come and visit
your little friend here, you walk right in
like you own the place.
Admission’s on me.
Thank you, sir.
Well, uh— [Sighs]
I... guess we‘d better be
getting on home, boys.
Don‘t let him get his legs sawed off,
Captain Jack. He‘s not used to being
with strange alligators.
Now don‘t you worry about a thing.
I‘ll take him around
and introduce him personal.
Thanks again,
Captain Jack.
Come on, boys.
You better get on upstairs, boys,
and change your clothes.
Aw, couldn‘t we
watch TV first, Dad?
Do what your father tells you to.
Come on. Up you go.
I‘m gonna go see
Captain Jack every week.
Me too. I wanna—
[Dog Vocalizing]
[Vocalizing Continues]
[Barks]
[Whimpering]