Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (2014–…): Season 4, Episode 10 - Ivanka & Jared - full transcript
Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner hold an incredible amount of political power. That's troubling considering their incredibly small amount of political experience.
LAST WEEK TONIGHT
WITH JOHN OLIVER
SEASON IV
EPISODE 10
Welcome to Last Week Tonight.
I'm John Oliver.
Thank you for joining us.
A quick recap of the week.
We begin with: "a narcissistic,
unstable man who might kill us all."
It says something about
the state of the world
that you have no idea which
world leader our story is about.
A tubby, powerhungry leader with
daddy issues and a bad haircut.
Which still only narrows us
down to these two.
Our first story
is about both of them.
North Korea marked
the 105th birthday of Kim Il-sung,
their first supreme leader,
with a parade.
These canisters could carry
a missile capable of reaching the US,
but are they real, or are they
what one intelligence official called
just big green tubes ?
That is a good question. They
could be intercontinental missiles,
capable of destabilizing
the whole world order.
They could also be dildos
for the Jolly Green Giant's wife.
He does not sexually satisfy her.
That's a sad fact.
The parade wasn't the issue
for the international community,
but the missile test that followed it,
the fifth in the past ten weeks.
While it failed,
it was a provocative act,
especially considering Trump had
tried to warn them not to do it.
What are we doing right now,
in terms of North Korea ?
We are sending an armada,
very powerful.
We have submarines,
very powerful.
That was a very powerful response
from Trump. Very powerful.
The most surprising thing is that he
knows what the word "armada" means.
I assumed that's what he mistakenly
called his housekeepers.
Armada, you forgot
to dust under the lamps.
You think I don't check under
the lamps, but I do.
I do check under the lamps.
To give the president
some credit:
that was at least a clear response
echoed later by Sean Spicer,
who argued there was
a message of deterrence being sent
"when you see a carrier group
steaming into an area like that."
That message got muddied,
after we learned something
about that carrier group.
The 'USS Carl Vinson' was not,
in fact, on its way.
It was more than
3 000 nautical miles away,
traveling in the opposite direction,
heading south.
So it was steaming,
just the wrong way.
It was off the coast
of North Korea the same way
that New York
is off the coast of Portugal.
When confronted, Sean Spicer,
a professional spokesperson,
yet again
lost control of his mouth.
Can you take us through the events
from the perspective of the White House
this administration thinking
that this vessel was
thousands of miles away
from its actual location ?
President said we have
an armada going towards the peninsula.
That's a fact.
It is happening, rather.
Wait. So, Spicer is claiming that,
because the fleet was
going to North Korea "eventually",
it was fine to suggest
it was on its way there now.
And by that logic,
I can truthfully say that Sean Spicer
He isn't, but he will eventually,
possibly as soon as next week.
With the parade of potentially fake
weapons, the failed missile test
and the armada that's "definitely"
in an ocean steaming somewhere,
it has been a week of confusing
messages back and forth.
On Wednesday, we got
the most surprising message.
The New York Times reports
on unusual activity
at North Korea's nuclear test site.
Images taken Sunday showed
a volleyball game being played.
Analysts say the games were intended
to send a message, but is unclear.
Volleyball on a nuclear test site
is a pretty hard message
to get your head around.
It's like getting a text that said:
"hey you up, eggplant emoji,"
"I just ate an entire box of graham
crackers, gun emoji."
I don't know what that means,
but it can't be good.
Let's move on to Turkey: a country
that shares its name with a bird.
And not just any bird.
The "hottest" bird.
Lookin' good, my friend,
lookin' good.
We've talked before about
President Recep Erdogan,
who once got hoof-punched
in the dick by a horse.
He has been attempting
to consolidate his power for years
and last Sunday,
he took his boldest step yet.
President Erdogan declared victory
in a referendum that gives him
sweeping new powers.
His critics say this is a step
towards dictatorship.
I can now add Turkey to my list
of things to worry about,
along with America,
the French election
and whether John Cena is
having a happy 40th birthday today.
How the fuck John Cena and I
are the exact same age ?
My God.
That is heartbreaking.
The power this referendum
gives Erdogan is sweeping:
Erdogan now has broad unchecked
powers and the authority
to potentially remain
in office until 2029.
The referendum gives Erdogan
the power to do pretty much everything
short of building a statue of himself
with an erection
that citizens will be forced
to give pretend handjobs to.
It might have given him
the power to do that as well.
Legitimacy of the results
were called into question
after reports of voting irregularities.
European observers
criticized the referendum, saying
it "took place on
an un-level playing field",
something that Erdogan
did not take well.
"What George, Hans, or Helga say,
that's not our problem," Erdogan said,
mocking European election
monitors questioning the results.
That is dismissive. Especially
since "George, Hans & Helga"
sounds like a former East German
folk-rock group:
We are George, Hans und Helga.
Prepare for sound of peace and love
administered promptly into
your ears and brains, mein Freunde.
But this really does put America
in a tricky situation:
Turkey is a critical ally,
so any reaction to this referendum
needed to be handled delicately.
Sean Spicer refused to issue
a comment on the contested results.
There's an international commission
reviewing this and issues a report,
so ten to twelve days and
we'll let them do their job.
Build the administration time,
don't jump into the situation
without thinking through
the complicated ripple effec...
You all know
what's coming now, right ?
U.S. President Donald Trump
has called Turkish President
to congratulate him on
his narrow referendum triumph.
That happened the same day.
I guess at least
it would've been a fun call.
Congratulations on winning
a vote that made you,
a egomaniacal bully,
enormously powerful in your country !
Thanks ! Same to you, Donald !
Thanks ! Aren't we the worst ?
We are the worst ! Goodbye !
Why is Trump so eager
to stay on Erdogan's good side ?
One explanation for that
comes from Trump himself,
in this interview that he gave
to Breitbart in 2015.
I have a little conflict of interest,
I have a major building in Istanbul.
It's a tremendously successful job.
It's called Trump Towers.
Two towers, instead of one.
Not the usual one, it's two.
Of course to everything
you just heard.
There's a conflict of interest.
Of course it's caught on tape.
Of course he pronounces it
Istan-bool.
Of course he has a childlike surprise
that towers can come in twos.
Between his actions regarding
North Korea and Turkey,
world war three is beginning
to feel like Trump's armada.
It's not here yet, but it sure as
shit feels like it's on its way.
And now this.
And now, cable news.
It is a violation of the emoluments
clause of the constitution,
the remedy for which is impeachment,
somebody tell me where that's wrong.
You're talking over each other,
I can't hear you. Go ahead, Senator.
How it works.
Moving on. Our main story tonight
concerns the White House.
The building inside which Trump
and I feel this isn't mentioned enough
is regularly naked.
Think about that: he might be naked
in there right now.
Maybe he just sneezed. Maybe there's
a Band-Aid somewhere on his person.
We just know that he's there
and we all have to live with that.
While Trump is divisive,
there are two White House figures
widely admired:
Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump.
America's William and Kate,
except in this case
"both" of them are attractive.
Many people
have praise for them.
The only adults in the room,
the moderates, the centrists,
frankly Democrats,
are Jared and Ivanka.
Thank god his kids are there.
They're a positive influence on him.
His best running mate
would be Ivanka.
I don't know I've met a more
composed, brilliant,
beautiful in every way, person.
Well that is high praise
from Senator Bob Corker:
"Never met a more brilliant,
beautiful person."
I imagine that went down great
with his wife and two daughters.
Happy father's day, dad.
Did Ivanka send you anything ?
But for liberals,
the popular assumption is
that Jared and Ivanka
will be moderating influences.
If Trump is thinking about pressing
a button labeled "nuke earth",
they will, on behalf of all of us,
guide his hand
towards the button labeled
"hey... maybe don't".
They both have
official roles now.
Ivanka has taken an unpaid position
as "Assistant to the President".
Jared seems to have a hand
in basically everything.
He's been planning this week's visit
of the Chinese president to Mar-a-Lago
and brokering
peace in the Middle East.
The president tapping his son-in-law
to reform the criminal justice system,
not to mention he's running
the new office of American innovation
where he's responsible
for reforming veteran care,
tackling the opioid epidemic
and overseeing the not so small feat
of revamping
the federal government.
Holy shit.
It is not unusual for powerful men to
give their son-in-laws do-nothing jobs.
But leave it to Donald Trump,
who can't even get nepotism right,
to give his a do-everything job.
Given the power they seem to hold,
let's take a look at Jared and Ivanka.
Set aside the questions surrounding
potential conflicts of interest
and let's focus on answering
just two basic questions.
Is Ivanka really the moderating
influence people claim ?
What in Jared's background justifies
such a gigantic White House portfolio ?
Let's start with Ivanka.
Trump's only daughter,
except for, and yet somehow
including, Tiffany.
Ivanka is reassuringly familiar,
she's been part of the Trump brand
since she was a child.
She even co-hosted Trump's
"Miss Teen USA" pageant at age 15,
featuring this
noticeably odd moment.
Let's go back to Ivanka !
I guarantee my brothers were loving
that. Are any of you up there single ?
God. Why did they
have her say that ?
Yes, Eddie: my blood relatives
are rock hard right now.
The men with whom I share
parents probably have erect penises !
In the public drama
of the Trump family,
Ivanka has been cast as the calm,
reasonable, indoor-voiced one,
a dynamic that's perhaps
best exemplified by this moment.
What's the favorite thing you have
in common with your father ?
- Either real estate or golf.
- Donald ? With your daughter ?
I was going to say sex,
but I can't relate that to her.
What is wrong with you,
you colossal fucking creep ?
You found the only possible
wrong answer to that question !
What's your favorite color ?
Hitler.
That clip actually illustrates a lot
of what we like about Ivanka:
she's the opposite of her dad.
He's crazy,
she's poised and restrained.
She is impressively on-message.
Think about how little information
gave in that exchange.
She was asked: "what do you have
in common with your dad ?"
and she said:
"real estate and golf".
Those are not personal details,
they are core components
of the Trump brand that any stranger
would associate with him.
If you asked Huey, Duey and Louie
what they had in common with Donald
and they said:
"either feathers or no pants",
you would think: "Duck family doesn't
spend a lot of quality time together."
That ability to apparently say nothing
and yet support her dad,
can apply to her political views.
The assumption that she disagrees with
him isn't actually based on much.
Watch her response to being questioned
about what they disagree on.
My father agrees with me
on so many issues.
And where he doesn't,
he knows where I stand.
Give us an example of something
that you disagree with him on
and by speaking up it made him
change or soften his position !
Most of the impact I have,
over time, most people
will not actually know about.
That's convenient !
Give her credit
when good stuff happens
and blame others
when bad stuff happens.
That's not a job description
of a political adviser,
that's a description
of an Old Testament God.
That answer there enables you
to project whatever you want onto her,
based on second-hand rumors
and assumptions.
Which is exactly what
Gayle King and her co-hosts then did.
What is it they differ on
and where do you think she has...
She is not gonna share that
information, with me anyway.
- That's between her and her dad.
- But what do you think ?
I think about climate change, gay
rights, some of the immigration ban.
- Planned Parenthood.
- Certainly.
Certainly Planned Parenthood
as well, why not ?
Those things all feel true,
but there is not a lot of evidence.
The same way
that I assume Johnny Depp's penis
also has its own miniature hat
and goatee.
I don't have any concrete evidence.
But c'mon... Probably, right ?
Looking at what the Trump
administration has been doing,
it is hard to see much
of Ivanka's influence there.
Take Planned Parenthood,
which she certainly cares about.
Donald Trump allowed
states to block funds to it.
Or maybe take climate change.
Ivanka bring Al Gore to Trump Tower.
Three days later, Trump named
climate change denialist Scott Pruitt
to head the EPA.
Maybe that is an example of
Ivanka's moderating influence.
Maybe Trump's initial choice
was a guy strangling a dolphin.
Let's look at an issue that Ivanka
has been very outspoken about:
last year at the RNC, she brought up
family leave and child care.
When the campaign released
their plan, she sold it hard.
We've proposed something
incredibly comprehensive,
it's very innovative,
it's a bold and fresh solution.
There's no policy
on Hillary Clinton's website
pertaining childcare, elder care
or maternity or paternity leave.
Except none of that was true.
First, of course Hillary's site
had pages on those issues.
When it comes
to lying about easily observable facts,
the apple does not fall
far from the orange.
Let's look at that comprehensive,
bold fresh Trump child-care proposal.
According to the Tax Policy Center,
"very few of its benefits went
to the lowest income families."
Families with incomes
between 10 and $30 000
would receive average benefits
of just $10 a year.
And the only daycare that
costs ten dollars is a padlock.
Mommy's going to work and
Mrs. Masterlock is going to keep you
in your bedroom
for the next eight hours.
Thanks, Ivanka !
You're the best !
You may still like Ivanka.
That's fine.
She can be appealing and that's,
frankly, not by accident.
She's been trained to be as vague
and likable as possible
so that everyone can plausibly think
that she shares their values,
whether or not that's true.
And if that sounds like a harsh thing
for me to say about her,
she's basically shared that
message in one of her books.
Perception is more important
than reality.
If someone perceives
something to be true,
it is more important
than if it is in fact true.
Doesn't mean you should be
duplicitous or deceitful,
but don't correct a false assumption
if it plays to your advantage.
She's pretty much telling you
not to trust any assumption
that you are making about her.
So it is possible that she is doing
nothing to moderate her father.
I understand that there is an impulse
not to want to think about that.
Like you don't want to think about
the fact that it is also possible that,
in the White House right now,
her father may be bowling naked.
Maybe he's wearing
bowling shoes.
Maybe he's forcing Mike Pence
to play alongside him.
We just have to deal
with the fact that it's possible.
We all may be thinking that Ivanka
is doing more than she actually is.
The same can emphatically not be said
for her husband, Jared Kushner.
The man responsible for, among
others, repairing the Middle East,
something that his father-in-law
is pretty confident in.
I have a feeling
that Jared is gonna do a great job,
he's gonna do a great job.
He is so great. If you can't produce
peace in the Middle East, nobody can.
Then nobody can.
Or I am wrong and future history
books will say:
"peace was finally brought
to the Middle East"
"by a sentient Kohl's mannequin
who read a book once."
Jared has more responsibility.
He's also reportedly been
the primary point of contact
for two dozen different countries.
If you look at Trump's meetings,
it's like "Where's Waldo ?":
he's in all of them.
When Trump met the leaders
of Congress, there he was.
Listening session with
business leaders, there he was.
At a meeting on cyber security,
there he was.
At a meeting with a Saudi prince,
there's Jared.
Japanese prime minister ?
It's J-Dog.
Chinese president visiting ?
You got Kushner in the house.
Discussing the airstrikes on Syria,
where's the Kush ?
There he is !
There's the Kush !
Jared is either being invited
to every important meeting
or he died in the White House
in the late 1800's
and he's been haunting it
ever since.
His portfolio would be unmanageable
for the smartest man on Earth.
So: is Jared Kushner
the smartest man on Earth ?
We already know
he's the coolest,
he can really rock
a trill pair of sunnies,
but what is going on behind them ?
This guy can be quiet but confident
and he is a visionary.
If you have meetings with Jared,
Jared listens,
he doesn't talk that much,
he absorbs it.
I see Jared as like the Alexander
Hamilton of the new administration.
He's super thoughtful.
He's a three-times listener,
0.5 percent talker.
Stop. So he is brilliant
because he's quiet ?
Just because you don't talk,
does not mean
you are thinking something amazing.
It can mean that you're sitting
in a meeting, staring at people's lips,
thinking about why baby cats
aren't called "cattens",
or whether all goldfish
might have peanut allergies
but since they don't ever eat
peanuts, we'll just never know.
That point-five percent talker thing
point to something odd about Jared,
because for someone
with the amount of power he has,
have you ever heard him speak ?
Seriously,
what does his voice sound like ?
You don't know, do you ?
It wasn't easy,
but we manage to find an interview
of him talking on TV in 2009.
My main business is real estate
and I also own a newspaper
and other websites
and online media businesses.
I know what you're thinking,
you're thinking hold on:
"you took that clip, and
you dubbed in Gilbert Gottfried".
But you don't know that
for sure. Listen to it again.
My main business is real estate
and I own a newspaper and other
websites and online media businesses.
You don't know for a fact
that is not his actual voice.
And that is the real point.
So, in the absence
of Jared's spoken thoughts,
we've had to rely on
second-hand evidence of his brilliance.
First thing many people cite
is his education.
Jared is a great young man,
went to Harvard. Very smart.
Went to Harvard.
He's a number one at Harvard guy.
He's incredibly smart.
That's not evidence of anything.
The Unabomber went to Harvard.
Ted Cruz went to Harvard.
Plenty of smart people went there too,
they'll tell you about it,
but it is worth noting that officials
at Jared's high school
were reportedly dismayed he got in,
because, as one put it:
"his GPA did not warrant it,
his SAT scores did not warrant it."
Who knows how
he pulled that off ?
I'm sure it's nothing to do
with the fact
that his father pledged $2.5 million
to the school before he was admitted.
I'm certainly not saying that is
a case of paying for admission.
I'll leave that to the textbook
the "Price of Admission",
in which that story
actually appears.
After graduating, he took over
his father's real-estate business,
after his dad, Charlie,
was sent to prison.
I don't have time to get into why.
Let me say:
it involves blackmailing
his brother-in-law, a sex worker
and a hidden camera in a shitbox
motel on Route 22, The Red Bull Inn.
The story I promise is amazing:
it is worth a Google.
You're gonna need
the safe search off.
How has Jared run
the family business ?
He made a big splash when
he bought 666 Fifth Avenue
for a record $1.8 billion in 2007.
But that deal has not been
a raging success.
The deal was a miscalculation.
He bought at the top of the market
so then the market turned.
Ten years later the building
is struggling to cover its debt.
Kushner's purchase did make a splash,
but it turned out to be
the kind of splash your phone
makes when it falls into the toilet.
That building is not Jared's
whole record in business.
He owned the New York Observer,
which even the paper's staff found odd,
people described him
as "unenthusiastic reader,"
"with little use for newspapers,
let alone books."
He spearheaded a Brooklyn
development called "Dumbo Heights".
His partner praised
his involvement, saying:
"He's very uncluttered in his mind..."
"I think that simplicity
allows him to filter some things out."
Which could be
a compliment or a savage insult.
To give you a flavor of what Jared's
vision for Dumbo Heights is,
watch a video that he showed
to a real estate conference.
The most infuriating combination
of meaningless tech nonsense
and stock footage of models
that you will ever see.
Dumbo Heights, a dynamic space,
mechanically engineered
for optimal performance
and unrivalled connectivity.
This campus is the staging ground for
the next innovators and creators.
Change is forged in the fire
of great thinkers and visionaries.
A community built for collaboration.
When innovation is cultivated,
the world rises to meet.
Dope. Now, it's hard to pick,
but I think my favorite phrase
is actually bragging the development
is "mechanically engineered".
What are the other options ?
How many office buildings
are "naturally occurring" or "created
with a wish on a genie's lamp ?"
If you are concerned Jared's
business record may not qualify him,
I point out one other prominent
item that is on his resume:
the 2016 election.
A few weeks after it was over,
Forbes ran a cover story titled
"This Guy Got Trump Elected",
sounds impressive
and it features quotes from Jared like:
"we played moneyball,
asking ourselves which states"
"will get the best ROI
for the electoral vote".
A sentence that can only be forged
in the uncluttered mind
of the wizard of Dumbo Heights.
The article give examples
of what specific technical expertise
Jared may've brought
into the operation.
They found a way to get people on
Facebook and Twitter.
They evolved into this 100-person
secret data center in San Antonio
and they had data do everything.
Data determined his schedule,
rallies, even what he spoke about.
Even what he spoke about ?
Really ? Data determined what
Trump spoke about at his rallies.
I don't doubt there were 100 people
in a basement somewhere
"moneyballing the ROI".
I would love to see the data
that recommended this.
I love these boards.
Look, here's a beauty.
I love charts.
I always said it's too
tough putting a screen up.
Gotta get guys, it costs,
I don't like to spend money.
This is a cheap version of a screen.
It's just as good.
Like you need good, strong hands.
You ready ? So, there it is.
Thanks, Jared. You mechanically
engineered the shit out of that one.
Trump did win the election.
And I wasn't there. So who knows ?
Maybe Jared is single-handedly
responsible for the entire victory.
But that still doesn't mean
he has the specific knowledge
to tackle government reform,
Middle East or the opioids epidemic.
Can somebody please reassure me
that this is okay ?
Jared is incredibly smart, talented,
has enormous capacity.
He is humble in the recognition
of what he doesn't know
and is secure in his ability
to seek informed viewpoints.
No, not you. Not you.
I know your game now. Not you.
To that point that he will
seek informed viewpoints,
that will be harder since there
are still hundreds of key jobs
across the government that
Trump has not yet named nominees for:
the Department of Transportation,
the DEA, and the VA.
It is too bad that Trump can't appoint
someone to nominate people,
although I am sure he'd give
that job to Jared fucking Kushner.
The truth is,
for many people,
the main thing qualifying Jared
for his positions is not who he is,
but who he isn't.
As many questions I have about Jared,
Ivanka and they're qualifications,
they're more qualified
than Steve Bannon.
I would prefer to have them rather than
Mr. Bannon involved in decisions.
Is he James Baker ?
No, he's not James Baker.
But is he Steve Bannon ?
No, he's not Steve Bannon.
That is true,
Jared Kushner is not Steve Bannon.
That is a low bar. That recommendation
would get you no other job.
We shouldn't be excited
about a top White House adviser,
because he is preferable to a man
best described as:
"every dark thought humanity
has ever had,"
"inhabiting the longdead corpse
of a Civil War-era plantation owner"
"that even his fellow plantation
owners called a bit much."
There has to be a third option.
Even some people who know Jared
and like him
have some serious questions.
I know Jared Kushner and Ivanka.
They're lovely, young people.
Does this person have qualifications ?
Lovely guy ! I'm sure level-headed.
Yes, he's temperamentally sane
versus the president. Got it.
Having said that, what has
this guy done in his life ever ?
He said: "lovely young man. Seems
levelheaded. What's he done ?"
It does not bode well
that Kushner's neighbors
describe him like he got arrested
for murdering eleven people.
In the end,
this isn't even Jared's fault.
It's the fault of the guy
who appointed him.
Imagine anyone other than
Donald Trump was president.
And hold that thought.
It's nice, right ?
Imagine this stock photo guy
was in office. This guy.
And he said: "I'm gonna fix Middle East,
opioids, and the whole of government"
"and I've found
the perfect person to do it:"
"it's this creepily silent, 36-year-old
heir to a real estate fortune."
You would justifiably
be fucking upset at that.
This may seem like an evisceration
of both Jared and Ivanka,
but it is really not.
I don't know enough about them
to eviscerate them.
Just as you don't know enough about
them to justify putting hopes in them.
It is dangerous to think of them
as a moderating influence.
Believe me, and it gives me
no pleasure to say this:
if they are the reason
you are sleeping at night,
you should probably
still be awake.
If you need help doing that,
simply remember:
Trump may currently be airing out
his balls in the Lincoln bedroom.
Sweet dreams.
And now this.
And finally, Bill O'Reilly:
A Life In Television.
I'm sexist,
I'm a bigot, I'm a racist.
Let's just get it on the table,
I'm everything.
Racist, sexist, or any other 'ist'
the far left embraces.
They're gonna point at people,
you're a racist, you're a sexist,
you made me uncomfortable,
you did this.
What about the sexism thing.
The fact that I said
va va voom makes me a sexist ?
- No.
- It doesn't, are you sure ?
I wanted two ladies on here,
I know I'm insensitive.
You are both female.
There's gotta be some downside
to having a woman president.
Something that may not fit
with that office.
Many pregnant women are blasted
out of their minds when they have sex.
When you hear me try to talk,
button it up.
No, you're snorting out there.
Knock it off.
If you were a man
I'd have scolded you.
You don't want to be treated equally,
you want special treatment.
She looks good for 50.
You chilly here in this outfit ?
You're calling me sexist.
I'd go on the lesbian cruise.
I'd see it as a challenge.
Ladies, good to be,
we're not mad at you, Kirsten,
I'm sorry if I mischaracterized
what you were doing.
I want respect for everyone.
White people don't force blacks
to have babies out of wedlock.
I do not believe you are granted
favorable treatment in this country
because you are white.
The white establishment
is now the minority.
The race hustlers
blame white privilege.
You can't be blaming the white
people for everything.
There's no white privilege,
there must be Asian privilege.
Asians are at the top of the chart and
African Americans are at the bottom.
It has nothing to do with slavery,
it has everything to do
with you Hollywood people
and you derelict parents.
By nature, I'm kind of a hot head.
This is justice.
And you want anarchy !
When things go wrong, you should
not react, until you cool down.
We'll do it live. Fuck it !
Do it live.
If you raise your voice even
slightly, you're labeled a maniac.
I'll write it and we'll do it live.
Fucking thing sucks.
Bill O'Reilly.
The fucking guy sucked.
That's our show. We're off next week,
back after that. Good night !
My main business is real estate.
END OF EPISODE 10,
SEASON IV
WITH JOHN OLIVER
SEASON IV
EPISODE 10
Welcome to Last Week Tonight.
I'm John Oliver.
Thank you for joining us.
A quick recap of the week.
We begin with: "a narcissistic,
unstable man who might kill us all."
It says something about
the state of the world
that you have no idea which
world leader our story is about.
A tubby, powerhungry leader with
daddy issues and a bad haircut.
Which still only narrows us
down to these two.
Our first story
is about both of them.
North Korea marked
the 105th birthday of Kim Il-sung,
their first supreme leader,
with a parade.
These canisters could carry
a missile capable of reaching the US,
but are they real, or are they
what one intelligence official called
just big green tubes ?
That is a good question. They
could be intercontinental missiles,
capable of destabilizing
the whole world order.
They could also be dildos
for the Jolly Green Giant's wife.
He does not sexually satisfy her.
That's a sad fact.
The parade wasn't the issue
for the international community,
but the missile test that followed it,
the fifth in the past ten weeks.
While it failed,
it was a provocative act,
especially considering Trump had
tried to warn them not to do it.
What are we doing right now,
in terms of North Korea ?
We are sending an armada,
very powerful.
We have submarines,
very powerful.
That was a very powerful response
from Trump. Very powerful.
The most surprising thing is that he
knows what the word "armada" means.
I assumed that's what he mistakenly
called his housekeepers.
Armada, you forgot
to dust under the lamps.
You think I don't check under
the lamps, but I do.
I do check under the lamps.
To give the president
some credit:
that was at least a clear response
echoed later by Sean Spicer,
who argued there was
a message of deterrence being sent
"when you see a carrier group
steaming into an area like that."
That message got muddied,
after we learned something
about that carrier group.
The 'USS Carl Vinson' was not,
in fact, on its way.
It was more than
3 000 nautical miles away,
traveling in the opposite direction,
heading south.
So it was steaming,
just the wrong way.
It was off the coast
of North Korea the same way
that New York
is off the coast of Portugal.
When confronted, Sean Spicer,
a professional spokesperson,
yet again
lost control of his mouth.
Can you take us through the events
from the perspective of the White House
this administration thinking
that this vessel was
thousands of miles away
from its actual location ?
President said we have
an armada going towards the peninsula.
That's a fact.
It is happening, rather.
Wait. So, Spicer is claiming that,
because the fleet was
going to North Korea "eventually",
it was fine to suggest
it was on its way there now.
And by that logic,
I can truthfully say that Sean Spicer
He isn't, but he will eventually,
possibly as soon as next week.
With the parade of potentially fake
weapons, the failed missile test
and the armada that's "definitely"
in an ocean steaming somewhere,
it has been a week of confusing
messages back and forth.
On Wednesday, we got
the most surprising message.
The New York Times reports
on unusual activity
at North Korea's nuclear test site.
Images taken Sunday showed
a volleyball game being played.
Analysts say the games were intended
to send a message, but is unclear.
Volleyball on a nuclear test site
is a pretty hard message
to get your head around.
It's like getting a text that said:
"hey you up, eggplant emoji,"
"I just ate an entire box of graham
crackers, gun emoji."
I don't know what that means,
but it can't be good.
Let's move on to Turkey: a country
that shares its name with a bird.
And not just any bird.
The "hottest" bird.
Lookin' good, my friend,
lookin' good.
We've talked before about
President Recep Erdogan,
who once got hoof-punched
in the dick by a horse.
He has been attempting
to consolidate his power for years
and last Sunday,
he took his boldest step yet.
President Erdogan declared victory
in a referendum that gives him
sweeping new powers.
His critics say this is a step
towards dictatorship.
I can now add Turkey to my list
of things to worry about,
along with America,
the French election
and whether John Cena is
having a happy 40th birthday today.
How the fuck John Cena and I
are the exact same age ?
My God.
That is heartbreaking.
The power this referendum
gives Erdogan is sweeping:
Erdogan now has broad unchecked
powers and the authority
to potentially remain
in office until 2029.
The referendum gives Erdogan
the power to do pretty much everything
short of building a statue of himself
with an erection
that citizens will be forced
to give pretend handjobs to.
It might have given him
the power to do that as well.
Legitimacy of the results
were called into question
after reports of voting irregularities.
European observers
criticized the referendum, saying
it "took place on
an un-level playing field",
something that Erdogan
did not take well.
"What George, Hans, or Helga say,
that's not our problem," Erdogan said,
mocking European election
monitors questioning the results.
That is dismissive. Especially
since "George, Hans & Helga"
sounds like a former East German
folk-rock group:
We are George, Hans und Helga.
Prepare for sound of peace and love
administered promptly into
your ears and brains, mein Freunde.
But this really does put America
in a tricky situation:
Turkey is a critical ally,
so any reaction to this referendum
needed to be handled delicately.
Sean Spicer refused to issue
a comment on the contested results.
There's an international commission
reviewing this and issues a report,
so ten to twelve days and
we'll let them do their job.
Build the administration time,
don't jump into the situation
without thinking through
the complicated ripple effec...
You all know
what's coming now, right ?
U.S. President Donald Trump
has called Turkish President
to congratulate him on
his narrow referendum triumph.
That happened the same day.
I guess at least
it would've been a fun call.
Congratulations on winning
a vote that made you,
a egomaniacal bully,
enormously powerful in your country !
Thanks ! Same to you, Donald !
Thanks ! Aren't we the worst ?
We are the worst ! Goodbye !
Why is Trump so eager
to stay on Erdogan's good side ?
One explanation for that
comes from Trump himself,
in this interview that he gave
to Breitbart in 2015.
I have a little conflict of interest,
I have a major building in Istanbul.
It's a tremendously successful job.
It's called Trump Towers.
Two towers, instead of one.
Not the usual one, it's two.
Of course to everything
you just heard.
There's a conflict of interest.
Of course it's caught on tape.
Of course he pronounces it
Istan-bool.
Of course he has a childlike surprise
that towers can come in twos.
Between his actions regarding
North Korea and Turkey,
world war three is beginning
to feel like Trump's armada.
It's not here yet, but it sure as
shit feels like it's on its way.
And now this.
And now, cable news.
It is a violation of the emoluments
clause of the constitution,
the remedy for which is impeachment,
somebody tell me where that's wrong.
You're talking over each other,
I can't hear you. Go ahead, Senator.
How it works.
Moving on. Our main story tonight
concerns the White House.
The building inside which Trump
and I feel this isn't mentioned enough
is regularly naked.
Think about that: he might be naked
in there right now.
Maybe he just sneezed. Maybe there's
a Band-Aid somewhere on his person.
We just know that he's there
and we all have to live with that.
While Trump is divisive,
there are two White House figures
widely admired:
Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump.
America's William and Kate,
except in this case
"both" of them are attractive.
Many people
have praise for them.
The only adults in the room,
the moderates, the centrists,
frankly Democrats,
are Jared and Ivanka.
Thank god his kids are there.
They're a positive influence on him.
His best running mate
would be Ivanka.
I don't know I've met a more
composed, brilliant,
beautiful in every way, person.
Well that is high praise
from Senator Bob Corker:
"Never met a more brilliant,
beautiful person."
I imagine that went down great
with his wife and two daughters.
Happy father's day, dad.
Did Ivanka send you anything ?
But for liberals,
the popular assumption is
that Jared and Ivanka
will be moderating influences.
If Trump is thinking about pressing
a button labeled "nuke earth",
they will, on behalf of all of us,
guide his hand
towards the button labeled
"hey... maybe don't".
They both have
official roles now.
Ivanka has taken an unpaid position
as "Assistant to the President".
Jared seems to have a hand
in basically everything.
He's been planning this week's visit
of the Chinese president to Mar-a-Lago
and brokering
peace in the Middle East.
The president tapping his son-in-law
to reform the criminal justice system,
not to mention he's running
the new office of American innovation
where he's responsible
for reforming veteran care,
tackling the opioid epidemic
and overseeing the not so small feat
of revamping
the federal government.
Holy shit.
It is not unusual for powerful men to
give their son-in-laws do-nothing jobs.
But leave it to Donald Trump,
who can't even get nepotism right,
to give his a do-everything job.
Given the power they seem to hold,
let's take a look at Jared and Ivanka.
Set aside the questions surrounding
potential conflicts of interest
and let's focus on answering
just two basic questions.
Is Ivanka really the moderating
influence people claim ?
What in Jared's background justifies
such a gigantic White House portfolio ?
Let's start with Ivanka.
Trump's only daughter,
except for, and yet somehow
including, Tiffany.
Ivanka is reassuringly familiar,
she's been part of the Trump brand
since she was a child.
She even co-hosted Trump's
"Miss Teen USA" pageant at age 15,
featuring this
noticeably odd moment.
Let's go back to Ivanka !
I guarantee my brothers were loving
that. Are any of you up there single ?
God. Why did they
have her say that ?
Yes, Eddie: my blood relatives
are rock hard right now.
The men with whom I share
parents probably have erect penises !
In the public drama
of the Trump family,
Ivanka has been cast as the calm,
reasonable, indoor-voiced one,
a dynamic that's perhaps
best exemplified by this moment.
What's the favorite thing you have
in common with your father ?
- Either real estate or golf.
- Donald ? With your daughter ?
I was going to say sex,
but I can't relate that to her.
What is wrong with you,
you colossal fucking creep ?
You found the only possible
wrong answer to that question !
What's your favorite color ?
Hitler.
That clip actually illustrates a lot
of what we like about Ivanka:
she's the opposite of her dad.
He's crazy,
she's poised and restrained.
She is impressively on-message.
Think about how little information
gave in that exchange.
She was asked: "what do you have
in common with your dad ?"
and she said:
"real estate and golf".
Those are not personal details,
they are core components
of the Trump brand that any stranger
would associate with him.
If you asked Huey, Duey and Louie
what they had in common with Donald
and they said:
"either feathers or no pants",
you would think: "Duck family doesn't
spend a lot of quality time together."
That ability to apparently say nothing
and yet support her dad,
can apply to her political views.
The assumption that she disagrees with
him isn't actually based on much.
Watch her response to being questioned
about what they disagree on.
My father agrees with me
on so many issues.
And where he doesn't,
he knows where I stand.
Give us an example of something
that you disagree with him on
and by speaking up it made him
change or soften his position !
Most of the impact I have,
over time, most people
will not actually know about.
That's convenient !
Give her credit
when good stuff happens
and blame others
when bad stuff happens.
That's not a job description
of a political adviser,
that's a description
of an Old Testament God.
That answer there enables you
to project whatever you want onto her,
based on second-hand rumors
and assumptions.
Which is exactly what
Gayle King and her co-hosts then did.
What is it they differ on
and where do you think she has...
She is not gonna share that
information, with me anyway.
- That's between her and her dad.
- But what do you think ?
I think about climate change, gay
rights, some of the immigration ban.
- Planned Parenthood.
- Certainly.
Certainly Planned Parenthood
as well, why not ?
Those things all feel true,
but there is not a lot of evidence.
The same way
that I assume Johnny Depp's penis
also has its own miniature hat
and goatee.
I don't have any concrete evidence.
But c'mon... Probably, right ?
Looking at what the Trump
administration has been doing,
it is hard to see much
of Ivanka's influence there.
Take Planned Parenthood,
which she certainly cares about.
Donald Trump allowed
states to block funds to it.
Or maybe take climate change.
Ivanka bring Al Gore to Trump Tower.
Three days later, Trump named
climate change denialist Scott Pruitt
to head the EPA.
Maybe that is an example of
Ivanka's moderating influence.
Maybe Trump's initial choice
was a guy strangling a dolphin.
Let's look at an issue that Ivanka
has been very outspoken about:
last year at the RNC, she brought up
family leave and child care.
When the campaign released
their plan, she sold it hard.
We've proposed something
incredibly comprehensive,
it's very innovative,
it's a bold and fresh solution.
There's no policy
on Hillary Clinton's website
pertaining childcare, elder care
or maternity or paternity leave.
Except none of that was true.
First, of course Hillary's site
had pages on those issues.
When it comes
to lying about easily observable facts,
the apple does not fall
far from the orange.
Let's look at that comprehensive,
bold fresh Trump child-care proposal.
According to the Tax Policy Center,
"very few of its benefits went
to the lowest income families."
Families with incomes
between 10 and $30 000
would receive average benefits
of just $10 a year.
And the only daycare that
costs ten dollars is a padlock.
Mommy's going to work and
Mrs. Masterlock is going to keep you
in your bedroom
for the next eight hours.
Thanks, Ivanka !
You're the best !
You may still like Ivanka.
That's fine.
She can be appealing and that's,
frankly, not by accident.
She's been trained to be as vague
and likable as possible
so that everyone can plausibly think
that she shares their values,
whether or not that's true.
And if that sounds like a harsh thing
for me to say about her,
she's basically shared that
message in one of her books.
Perception is more important
than reality.
If someone perceives
something to be true,
it is more important
than if it is in fact true.
Doesn't mean you should be
duplicitous or deceitful,
but don't correct a false assumption
if it plays to your advantage.
She's pretty much telling you
not to trust any assumption
that you are making about her.
So it is possible that she is doing
nothing to moderate her father.
I understand that there is an impulse
not to want to think about that.
Like you don't want to think about
the fact that it is also possible that,
in the White House right now,
her father may be bowling naked.
Maybe he's wearing
bowling shoes.
Maybe he's forcing Mike Pence
to play alongside him.
We just have to deal
with the fact that it's possible.
We all may be thinking that Ivanka
is doing more than she actually is.
The same can emphatically not be said
for her husband, Jared Kushner.
The man responsible for, among
others, repairing the Middle East,
something that his father-in-law
is pretty confident in.
I have a feeling
that Jared is gonna do a great job,
he's gonna do a great job.
He is so great. If you can't produce
peace in the Middle East, nobody can.
Then nobody can.
Or I am wrong and future history
books will say:
"peace was finally brought
to the Middle East"
"by a sentient Kohl's mannequin
who read a book once."
Jared has more responsibility.
He's also reportedly been
the primary point of contact
for two dozen different countries.
If you look at Trump's meetings,
it's like "Where's Waldo ?":
he's in all of them.
When Trump met the leaders
of Congress, there he was.
Listening session with
business leaders, there he was.
At a meeting on cyber security,
there he was.
At a meeting with a Saudi prince,
there's Jared.
Japanese prime minister ?
It's J-Dog.
Chinese president visiting ?
You got Kushner in the house.
Discussing the airstrikes on Syria,
where's the Kush ?
There he is !
There's the Kush !
Jared is either being invited
to every important meeting
or he died in the White House
in the late 1800's
and he's been haunting it
ever since.
His portfolio would be unmanageable
for the smartest man on Earth.
So: is Jared Kushner
the smartest man on Earth ?
We already know
he's the coolest,
he can really rock
a trill pair of sunnies,
but what is going on behind them ?
This guy can be quiet but confident
and he is a visionary.
If you have meetings with Jared,
Jared listens,
he doesn't talk that much,
he absorbs it.
I see Jared as like the Alexander
Hamilton of the new administration.
He's super thoughtful.
He's a three-times listener,
0.5 percent talker.
Stop. So he is brilliant
because he's quiet ?
Just because you don't talk,
does not mean
you are thinking something amazing.
It can mean that you're sitting
in a meeting, staring at people's lips,
thinking about why baby cats
aren't called "cattens",
or whether all goldfish
might have peanut allergies
but since they don't ever eat
peanuts, we'll just never know.
That point-five percent talker thing
point to something odd about Jared,
because for someone
with the amount of power he has,
have you ever heard him speak ?
Seriously,
what does his voice sound like ?
You don't know, do you ?
It wasn't easy,
but we manage to find an interview
of him talking on TV in 2009.
My main business is real estate
and I also own a newspaper
and other websites
and online media businesses.
I know what you're thinking,
you're thinking hold on:
"you took that clip, and
you dubbed in Gilbert Gottfried".
But you don't know that
for sure. Listen to it again.
My main business is real estate
and I own a newspaper and other
websites and online media businesses.
You don't know for a fact
that is not his actual voice.
And that is the real point.
So, in the absence
of Jared's spoken thoughts,
we've had to rely on
second-hand evidence of his brilliance.
First thing many people cite
is his education.
Jared is a great young man,
went to Harvard. Very smart.
Went to Harvard.
He's a number one at Harvard guy.
He's incredibly smart.
That's not evidence of anything.
The Unabomber went to Harvard.
Ted Cruz went to Harvard.
Plenty of smart people went there too,
they'll tell you about it,
but it is worth noting that officials
at Jared's high school
were reportedly dismayed he got in,
because, as one put it:
"his GPA did not warrant it,
his SAT scores did not warrant it."
Who knows how
he pulled that off ?
I'm sure it's nothing to do
with the fact
that his father pledged $2.5 million
to the school before he was admitted.
I'm certainly not saying that is
a case of paying for admission.
I'll leave that to the textbook
the "Price of Admission",
in which that story
actually appears.
After graduating, he took over
his father's real-estate business,
after his dad, Charlie,
was sent to prison.
I don't have time to get into why.
Let me say:
it involves blackmailing
his brother-in-law, a sex worker
and a hidden camera in a shitbox
motel on Route 22, The Red Bull Inn.
The story I promise is amazing:
it is worth a Google.
You're gonna need
the safe search off.
How has Jared run
the family business ?
He made a big splash when
he bought 666 Fifth Avenue
for a record $1.8 billion in 2007.
But that deal has not been
a raging success.
The deal was a miscalculation.
He bought at the top of the market
so then the market turned.
Ten years later the building
is struggling to cover its debt.
Kushner's purchase did make a splash,
but it turned out to be
the kind of splash your phone
makes when it falls into the toilet.
That building is not Jared's
whole record in business.
He owned the New York Observer,
which even the paper's staff found odd,
people described him
as "unenthusiastic reader,"
"with little use for newspapers,
let alone books."
He spearheaded a Brooklyn
development called "Dumbo Heights".
His partner praised
his involvement, saying:
"He's very uncluttered in his mind..."
"I think that simplicity
allows him to filter some things out."
Which could be
a compliment or a savage insult.
To give you a flavor of what Jared's
vision for Dumbo Heights is,
watch a video that he showed
to a real estate conference.
The most infuriating combination
of meaningless tech nonsense
and stock footage of models
that you will ever see.
Dumbo Heights, a dynamic space,
mechanically engineered
for optimal performance
and unrivalled connectivity.
This campus is the staging ground for
the next innovators and creators.
Change is forged in the fire
of great thinkers and visionaries.
A community built for collaboration.
When innovation is cultivated,
the world rises to meet.
Dope. Now, it's hard to pick,
but I think my favorite phrase
is actually bragging the development
is "mechanically engineered".
What are the other options ?
How many office buildings
are "naturally occurring" or "created
with a wish on a genie's lamp ?"
If you are concerned Jared's
business record may not qualify him,
I point out one other prominent
item that is on his resume:
the 2016 election.
A few weeks after it was over,
Forbes ran a cover story titled
"This Guy Got Trump Elected",
sounds impressive
and it features quotes from Jared like:
"we played moneyball,
asking ourselves which states"
"will get the best ROI
for the electoral vote".
A sentence that can only be forged
in the uncluttered mind
of the wizard of Dumbo Heights.
The article give examples
of what specific technical expertise
Jared may've brought
into the operation.
They found a way to get people on
Facebook and Twitter.
They evolved into this 100-person
secret data center in San Antonio
and they had data do everything.
Data determined his schedule,
rallies, even what he spoke about.
Even what he spoke about ?
Really ? Data determined what
Trump spoke about at his rallies.
I don't doubt there were 100 people
in a basement somewhere
"moneyballing the ROI".
I would love to see the data
that recommended this.
I love these boards.
Look, here's a beauty.
I love charts.
I always said it's too
tough putting a screen up.
Gotta get guys, it costs,
I don't like to spend money.
This is a cheap version of a screen.
It's just as good.
Like you need good, strong hands.
You ready ? So, there it is.
Thanks, Jared. You mechanically
engineered the shit out of that one.
Trump did win the election.
And I wasn't there. So who knows ?
Maybe Jared is single-handedly
responsible for the entire victory.
But that still doesn't mean
he has the specific knowledge
to tackle government reform,
Middle East or the opioids epidemic.
Can somebody please reassure me
that this is okay ?
Jared is incredibly smart, talented,
has enormous capacity.
He is humble in the recognition
of what he doesn't know
and is secure in his ability
to seek informed viewpoints.
No, not you. Not you.
I know your game now. Not you.
To that point that he will
seek informed viewpoints,
that will be harder since there
are still hundreds of key jobs
across the government that
Trump has not yet named nominees for:
the Department of Transportation,
the DEA, and the VA.
It is too bad that Trump can't appoint
someone to nominate people,
although I am sure he'd give
that job to Jared fucking Kushner.
The truth is,
for many people,
the main thing qualifying Jared
for his positions is not who he is,
but who he isn't.
As many questions I have about Jared,
Ivanka and they're qualifications,
they're more qualified
than Steve Bannon.
I would prefer to have them rather than
Mr. Bannon involved in decisions.
Is he James Baker ?
No, he's not James Baker.
But is he Steve Bannon ?
No, he's not Steve Bannon.
That is true,
Jared Kushner is not Steve Bannon.
That is a low bar. That recommendation
would get you no other job.
We shouldn't be excited
about a top White House adviser,
because he is preferable to a man
best described as:
"every dark thought humanity
has ever had,"
"inhabiting the longdead corpse
of a Civil War-era plantation owner"
"that even his fellow plantation
owners called a bit much."
There has to be a third option.
Even some people who know Jared
and like him
have some serious questions.
I know Jared Kushner and Ivanka.
They're lovely, young people.
Does this person have qualifications ?
Lovely guy ! I'm sure level-headed.
Yes, he's temperamentally sane
versus the president. Got it.
Having said that, what has
this guy done in his life ever ?
He said: "lovely young man. Seems
levelheaded. What's he done ?"
It does not bode well
that Kushner's neighbors
describe him like he got arrested
for murdering eleven people.
In the end,
this isn't even Jared's fault.
It's the fault of the guy
who appointed him.
Imagine anyone other than
Donald Trump was president.
And hold that thought.
It's nice, right ?
Imagine this stock photo guy
was in office. This guy.
And he said: "I'm gonna fix Middle East,
opioids, and the whole of government"
"and I've found
the perfect person to do it:"
"it's this creepily silent, 36-year-old
heir to a real estate fortune."
You would justifiably
be fucking upset at that.
This may seem like an evisceration
of both Jared and Ivanka,
but it is really not.
I don't know enough about them
to eviscerate them.
Just as you don't know enough about
them to justify putting hopes in them.
It is dangerous to think of them
as a moderating influence.
Believe me, and it gives me
no pleasure to say this:
if they are the reason
you are sleeping at night,
you should probably
still be awake.
If you need help doing that,
simply remember:
Trump may currently be airing out
his balls in the Lincoln bedroom.
Sweet dreams.
And now this.
And finally, Bill O'Reilly:
A Life In Television.
I'm sexist,
I'm a bigot, I'm a racist.
Let's just get it on the table,
I'm everything.
Racist, sexist, or any other 'ist'
the far left embraces.
They're gonna point at people,
you're a racist, you're a sexist,
you made me uncomfortable,
you did this.
What about the sexism thing.
The fact that I said
va va voom makes me a sexist ?
- No.
- It doesn't, are you sure ?
I wanted two ladies on here,
I know I'm insensitive.
You are both female.
There's gotta be some downside
to having a woman president.
Something that may not fit
with that office.
Many pregnant women are blasted
out of their minds when they have sex.
When you hear me try to talk,
button it up.
No, you're snorting out there.
Knock it off.
If you were a man
I'd have scolded you.
You don't want to be treated equally,
you want special treatment.
She looks good for 50.
You chilly here in this outfit ?
You're calling me sexist.
I'd go on the lesbian cruise.
I'd see it as a challenge.
Ladies, good to be,
we're not mad at you, Kirsten,
I'm sorry if I mischaracterized
what you were doing.
I want respect for everyone.
White people don't force blacks
to have babies out of wedlock.
I do not believe you are granted
favorable treatment in this country
because you are white.
The white establishment
is now the minority.
The race hustlers
blame white privilege.
You can't be blaming the white
people for everything.
There's no white privilege,
there must be Asian privilege.
Asians are at the top of the chart and
African Americans are at the bottom.
It has nothing to do with slavery,
it has everything to do
with you Hollywood people
and you derelict parents.
By nature, I'm kind of a hot head.
This is justice.
And you want anarchy !
When things go wrong, you should
not react, until you cool down.
We'll do it live. Fuck it !
Do it live.
If you raise your voice even
slightly, you're labeled a maniac.
I'll write it and we'll do it live.
Fucking thing sucks.
Bill O'Reilly.
The fucking guy sucked.
That's our show. We're off next week,
back after that. Good night !
My main business is real estate.
END OF EPISODE 10,
SEASON IV