Las Vegas (2003–2008): Season 3, Episode 8 - Bold, Beautiful & Blue - full transcript
Despite FBI agent Portis's supervision, the Star of Kashmir, an Indian national treasure and the world's largest sapphire, is stolen from the Montecito vault hours before it's to be exhibited. Danny reluctantly chases three reputed jewel thieves against the clock rather then officially denouncing Monica herself, who wore it alone. A seemingly supernatural magician also makes a fascinating suspect. Meanwhile Monica's expensive attempts to convince Deline to resume his manager post backfire; until she names a surprised successor.
Whoever said diamonds
were a girl's best friend...
never saw 126 carats...
of absolute blue heaven.
Monica Mancuso,
this is Agent Portis of the F.B.I.
Special Agent Vern Portis,
Rare Gems and Antiquities division.
- Uh, we need to talk about this display.
- You're already talking about security?
You haven't even commented
on the Star of Kashmir.
Awesome. Anyway-
Agent Portis,
maybe you're a little more
in touch with your feelings.
A star sapphire is more
than just a gemstone,
and the Star of Kashmir
is more than just a sapphire.
Anyone who's been in its presence
can sense its power...
as a catalyst
for spiritual enlightenment
and inner peace.
Beneath that off-the-rack suit
beats the heart of a poet.
- Anyway, we need to enclose this in-
- How much would you say
the Star of Kashmir is worth?
It's on loan
from the Indian government.
It's not for sale.
- Yeah. Got it. But how much?
- It's a national treasure. It's priceless.
Well, you can't feel the power
of a priceless object of desire...
if it's enclosed in some glass case.
- You can't steal it either.
- That's why you're here.
I want every woman who comes
through here to imagine...
the most magnificent sapphire
around their neck...
and then begging their husbands
to buy the knockoff at the gift shop.
Well, you gotta talk to Marketing.
I work in surveillance and security.
I want this thing secured
in a bulletproof glass case.
No bulletproof glass case.
I want the big blue displayed
just as it is.
Hey. How are you, ladies?
How are you doing?
Hi.
What are you drinking?
Uh, water.
Can I try an experiment
with you?
Sure.
Could you take a sip and swirl it
around in your mouth?
And imagine, if you will,
your favorite beverage.
You're thinking of beer.
Oh, my God.
How did you know that?
- I don't get the whole magic thing.
- What's not to get?
Take a sip.
It's beer. That's amazing.
It's so obviously fake.
Everybody knows you can't
really defy the laws of physics.
How long have you
booked him for?
Two sold-out shows a night
at the pool for the next week.
Who's that?
Criss Angel.
He looks familiar.
Is he in a band?
No, he's Mary's new magician.
- Did you know I was
a magician's assistant once?
- Why does that not surprise me?
For the Amazing Roger.
He was super cute.
- I actually learned a few tricks myself.
- Really? Like what?
Once we were driving home
from a show, I put my hand on his thigh,
and he turned into a motel.
Come on! I need it!
Come on!
Yeah! Oh!
We've received some information.
What kind of information?
Information that tells me
that you might want to give Danny's
security plan a second look.
I was a poor waitress
from Ohio.
I married a multibillionaire
whose family tried to do everything
they could to shut me out.
I'm used to getting my way.
What's the information?
Three of the best jewel thieves
in the country- if not the world-
are either headed for
or are already in Las Vegas.
We have reason to suspect that
at least one of these three will make
an attempt on the Star of Kashmir.
Well-Well, we've got
alarms, videos, phasers.
Lasers.
Shouldn't that be enough?
Monica, think of these three
as big, hungry lions...
and that big blue sapphire
as the world's tastiest steak.
Nearly $100 million changes hands
in this casino every day.
How much do we lose
due to theft?
Essentially, nothing.
That's thousands of chips
and millions in cash,
24-7-365.
This is a little thing, in one room.
It doesn't move.
Surrounded by cameras, sensors,
dozens of armed guards-
Well, I think you're
taking a big chance.
Call me a thrill seeker.
When will Ed Deline be joining us?
Ed's not available.
Ed Deline quit.
Really?
It's all right. No worries.
I am in the process of remedying
that situation.
And, as I said,
I'm used to getting my way.
When is the last time we had a long,
leisurely breakfast together, huh?
Eddie?
Hmm?
Were you listening?
Yeah, absolutely.
I was just, uh,
flashing back to, um-
Remember, um-
"Love in the morning
brings a baby."
Exactly.
Do you remember in Florence,
that caf? where we were
having breakfast?
An old man came up
to the table, and I said,
"Can I help you, sir?"
And he goes, "No, but I help you.
You want a baby, you make love
in the morning, huh?"
I remember. Oh.
Love in the morning.
I liked it.
What?
You said you weren't
gonna shave your beard.
No. You said you weren't gonna
buy that dining room table.
But, you see, feel.
It's, uh- It's coming back.
I'm growing it for you.
But buy one couch. Finito.
Okay. Deal.
Basta.
You hear something?
Mm-mmm.
Well, I do.
What in the world?
Eddie!
What have you done?
Take it easy. Save it.
There's a card here.
"Dear Eddie, I drove you away.
So you can drive this back. Monica."
That is so sweet.
Sweet?
Well, it's an apology.
She calls me "Eddie,"
and, uh, she knows I hate that.
This is a $400,000 "I'm sorry."
450. I can afford my own cars.
Yes, you can.
You could also go back to work.
See, this is, at best,
a backhanded apology.
It's an olive branch.
Look, Jillian,
let me tell you something.
As long as that wacky bitch
is running my hotel,
I ain't never goin' back.
What-Where are you going?
I'm gonna call a tow truck.
I'll meet you up in the bedroom.
- Okay, you just swallowed four needles.
- Oh, no.
- Those are sugar needles.
- There is no way.
Okay, there-
You get the girls involved.
I get it.
Where you going with this, pal?
Oh, you're-you're into something.
You're feeling something. Right.
Out of his belly button?
That is gross.
No.
That's not- That's not possible.
Out of his belly button?
Come on!
- Monica's gone nuts.
- Why do you think women
like magicians?
What?
- They're basically liars, you know.
- Who?
Conjurers. Illusionists.
Prestidigitators. Whatever.
They all claim to be tapped
into some supernatural power,
but, really, it's just sleight of hand
and misdirection.
Can you help me out
with this, please?
Women say they hate liars,
but they seem like they like magicians.
Ironic, wouldn't you say?
- You have no idea
how he's doing it, do you?
- Not a clue.
Not a friggin' clue.
But I'm gonna catch him.
I'll catch him.
- Come here.
- Sorry. What's up?
I don't know, man.
I'm a little worried
about this sapphire.
What did the G-man say?
Only that, uh,
America's three best thieves
are gunning for that rock.
Well, what about this guy?
He's got fast hands
and the run of the hotel.
Ah, come on, man.
He's a magician, Mike,
not a world-class thief.
Mmm. You talk to Ed yet?
No, not yet.
But he couldn't have picked
a worse time to quit.
If this thing gets snatched,
it's gonna be my ass.
Well, brother,
I think you gotta ask yourself-
W.W.E.D.?
Yeah. What is that?
What Would Ed Do?
Well, I'll tell you one thing-
He wouldn't trust the sensors
and the lasers, okay?
And he'd have somebody
do nothing but watch that ice.
W.W.- I like that, Mike.
Mitch.
I need you to make a schedule.
Three shifts. I want two eyes on
that monitor 24 hours a day, okay?
You got it.
Mind if I try something
with you folks?
Sure.
Pick out any card you like,
all right?
Okay.
I'd like you to sign that,
put it anywhere you want
in the deck.
I got it.
Good. Good. Okay.
Watch.
- Is that your card?
- Oh, my goodness.
That's incredible.
Could you do me a favor
and just get it for me?
Just take it out. Go ahead.
Oh, my God. I can't.
It's on the inside of the glass.
As a magician, I promise never
to reveal the secret of any illusion...
to a non-magician.
I see that you know
the magician's oath, huh?
I further promise never to perform
any illusions for any non-magicians...
without first practicing the effect
until I can perform it well enough...
to maintain the illusion of magic.
I'm Criss.
I'm-
Delinda.
I used to be in the magic game myself.
So, um, how'd you do the card gag?
It's not a gag.
Oh, come on.
You preset it with the slot manager.
The whole deck was the seven of spades,
right?
If it's actually happening,
it isn't magic, is it?
Well-
You gotta come see my show.
You ever hear
of the Amazing Roger?
It was nice to meet you.
He used to do a lot
of corporate gigs.
The Criss Angel show
is sold out for the entire run.
Good. But do not put
the sold-out sign on the box office.
Why not?
I want anyone showing up
for Criss Angel tickets to be switched
to the Star of Kashmir.
Well, isn't that
a little deceptive?
Girls, this sapphire-
it's the new metaphor
for the Montecito.
It's bold and beautiful
and blue and-
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did we open a Hooters?
If we did, you're in trouble.
What about my whales?
Mr. Frumkis wants a special viewing.
Great. Let your best players know
that you can arrange a private viewing
of the Star of Kashmir.
Fantastic.
Oh, and intimate that-
that for the right amount of play,
the wife or girlfriend can try it on.
Seriously?
Like what kind of play?
What about security?
Yeah.
Don't worry.
No one's gonna play enough.
It's just an enticement
to get them to gamble more.
I'm not gonna lie to my clients.
Yeah, I prefer to look at it
as marketing.
Hey, uh, some of my people
also have been asking when
Ed Deline is coming back.
Uh, girls, it won't be long.
I made him a proverbial offer
that he just cannot refuse.
Excuse me, Ms. Mancuso?
Oh! For me?
Thanks. Goody.
Wow.
Oh, it's from Ed!
It's a tiny little chocolate car.
It's cute.
"Eat me."
- Yeah.
- Danny, it's Mitch.
I think you need to get down here.
All right. Turn everything off.
Please. Please, please, please.
No.
2:45 a.m.,
everything's copasetic.
2:46, sensors go off
and the video goes dark.
When does everything go back?
Thirteen minutes later.
- Who was in charge
in the surveillance room?
- Derek Chow.
Never thought I'd get backroomed
in my own place, huh?
We know you shut down the cameras
and the sensors, Derek.
Maybe there was
some kind of glitch.
Come on, man.
You can do better than that.
I can't.
You do know that the sapphire's gone,
and that that makes you an accessory-
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Gone? I thought she
was just coming to check the display.
Who's "she"?
At 2:30 a.m. she comes into
the surveillance room and told me to disable
the lasers and shut down the video.
Who? Who?
I told her I-
- She swore me to secrecy.
She threatened to fire me if I didn't-
- Derek. Derek. Who?
Monica Mancuso.
- This is a disaster. An absolute disaster.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Tell you what?
- You know, Ed did do the right thing.
You are nuts.
How dare you. How dare you.
I know that you told Derek Chow
to shut off the alarms and the video.
You do realize that the insurance company
states that once you turn the alarms off,
the policy's dead, right?
You don't think I took it.
I'm calling Portis.
The F.B.I.'ll have 50 agents crawling
all over this place within the hour,
not to mention the press.
Danny, wait!
I just wanted to try it on.
You what?
I just wanted to feel it
around my neck, that's all.
Then I put it back. I swear.
And when I was done,
I locked the door behind me.
I called the surveillance room
to make sure the alarms and video
were turned back on.
So, why wasn't the thief on video?
You're telling me in the two minutes
it took for you to leave then call back to the
surveillance room, the sapphire was stolen?
Yes!
That is the biggest crock of B.S.
that I've ever heard in my life.
It's the truth! Why would I
steal the Star of Kashmir?
I'm a billionaire.
Because you're the kind of woman
who wants what she can't have.
That's why.
Please. Please, don't call the F.B.I.
The exhibit isn't till tonight.
You can find it. I know you can find it.
Portis needs to notify the Indian government.
This thing is a national treasure
we're talking about.
Didn't he give you
some sort of file?
So?
So, then you have a list of your suspects.
You find them, you find the Star of Kashmir.
No. Sorry. You're on your own.
Danny, think about how this looks.
Ed's gone five minutes,
and you lose a priceless gem.
- Where do you think you're going?
- I got eight hours to find that rock
because of you.
And if I don't, I am calling the feds,
and I'm calling the press.
Yeah!
I didn't catch anything. You?
Well, I didn't have
the best angle.
Maybe he is for real.
Delinda,
you're a grown woman.
You don't think he can
actually levitate himself?
No, but then how did he do it?
Mike Cannon
will ascertain how he did it.
She actually said that she tried it on
so she could twirl around with it?
Yeah.
That's the greatest thing
I've ever heard!
So, you don't think she did it?
Oh, she can't be that stupid.
She told you right away,
then that surveillance guy
gave her up in two minutes.
Sit down here. Let me see-
Let me see this file.
That's the greatest thing
I ever heard.
Where'd you get it?
This came from Portis.
The F.B.I. agent?
Yeah. You know him?
No.
Well, he knows you,
or at least of you.
You run the VideoIQ
on these people?
Yeah. None of 'em
have been in the hotel.
Definitely not last night.
That's good. So, here's the deal.
These two guys, they do most
of their work in Europe.
Now, her, this, uh, Bobbi Hartman-
She, uh- She used to do some
contract work for the Agency.
She's a pretty good little thief.
You know where I can find her?
Yeah, she's a bartender now
at some topless joint on Fremont.
All right.
Oh, and listen.
Do me a favor.
Just be real careful here.
You don't wanna
come with me?
I can't.
Come on. Come on!
Listen.
I would never leave you alone
for a minute. You know that.
But I cannot work for this woman.
I cannot.
Well, what are you gonna
do with yourself?
What?
You just can't retire.
Come on.
Retire?
You know the Maloofs.
Hey, what's up, Danny?
Hey! How you doing?
Nice to see you.
Nice to see you.
- Joe.
- Sorry to keep you guys waiting, but, uh-
That's all right.
Danny and I had to
discuss some girl.
So, what's going on?
We came over to make a deal with,
uh, Ed to run our new property.
- Really?
- You want in?
Yeah. Well, so far I got out of 'em,
uh, the men's room concession.
See what you can do.
Can I run that new, uh,
Playboy joint you guys got?
Mike Cannon.
Hey, did you search
Monica's office yet?
Didn't have to.
- How do we know she didn't leave
the gallery with the sapphire?
- LI BS, my man.
Laser Induced
Breakdown Spectroscopy.
You see, sapphires are essentially
corundum, um, aluminum oxide,
which is, of course,
the second hardest mineral
known to man.
Yeah, Mike. Please, not today.
I ran video of Monica leaving the gallery
last night through this LI BS filter.
It would have detected the sapphire.
It did not.
So she's telling the truth.
Short of a full body cavity search,
Danny, I'd say she's clean.
You got anything?
- Uh, we'll see.
- What's that music?
I know where you at.
I gotta go. Excuse me.
I'm looking for a Bobbi Hartman.
Never heard of her.
Then how did you know
that Bobbi was a she?
Aren't you late
for your Men's Health
photo shoot, pretty boy?
She used to work the bar here.
Now she's on the pole.
Hey!
You know, this, uh, gets
much more interesting in private.
Meet me in the champagne room
in two minutes.
So, where are we going?
Who are you?
Why don't you take a look
in my wallet and find out?
The Montecito.
You work for Ed Deline.
Mm-hmm. So, am I gonna find
a really big sapphire in this bag?
Somebody took down
the Star of Kashmir?
Mm-hmm.
I'm flattered Ed would think it's me,
but I'm out of the business.
Then why did you run?
You're too good-looking
to be a cop.
I felt your gun.
I thought you might be a collector.
You owe some money on the street?
Is that it?
I owe a lot of people a lot of things.
Why do you think I'm dancing?
Cellular biology, human anatomy.
Let me guess-You're putting yourself
through med school by stripping?
I know it's a clich?, but-
Where were you last night?
Here. Midnight to 8:00.
You can check the tapes.
Oh, I will. Believe me.
Look, if I were you,
I'd be looking at the Montecito.
Somebody with a lot of skill,
who knows your layout,
timed your patterns-
If you ask me, it's an inside job.
What are you doing?
Don't I owe you a lap dance?
No, I-I'm- I gotta run.
Can I just get my hundred bucks back?
Sorry. No refunds.
Oh. Right.
Bobbi Hartman's story checks out.
She was working all last night.
All right. We cross her out.
We've got two suspects left.
Jurgen Meinbender
and Ellis Brooks.
But neither one of 'em
have been in the hotel.
As far as we know.
We ran a facial,
but these are old pictures.
All right. Let's just say
that it is one of these two.
How would they know
that Monica went into the gallery
in the middle of the night?
Maybe they didn't.
Maybe one of them
was casing the gallery,
saw Monica go in,
saw the sensors and video go black
and took a shot.
You'd think if they were wandering
around the hotel at that hour,
they might have a room here, no?
They're probably
long gone by now.
Unless-Wait. Hold on.
They cut their reservation short
and checked out early.
5,000 rooms in this place,
and nobody checks out early?
Wait. What if it was
just the opposite?
What if one of these guys
planned to snatch the sapphire,
but got his chance too soon?
So he steals it, but he doesn't
want to ruffle any feathers,
so he doesn't check out early.
So you think he's still here.
Didn't Sam say something
about some of her players
wanting a private viewing?
I'd like to do a final walk-through
10 minutes before the opening.
Right. Of course.
Everything okay, McCoy?
Fine. Fine. I'll, uh, meet you
at the gallery at 6:50.
Okay.
Okay.
How you doing?
Do you know this guy?
- No.
- What about this guy?
Barry Frumkis.
How do you know him?
- He's one of my whales. Why?
- Thanks, Sam.
Did he ask for a private viewing
of the sapphire?
Sure. Lose a pile of money,
see the blue rock, right?
Let me guess.
This is his first time here.
Yeah? So?
Did you know
that his real name
is Ellis Brooks?
Fascinating.
I don't really care if his name
is Princess St?phanie of Monaco.
He just dropped 200 grand
last night.
Where he is now?
I know he's not on the floor.
We got four hours. Come on.
Come on, come on.
What?
Whoa, Bob. Bob.
What the heck are you doing?
Hi, Ed. Hi, Jillian.
Hello.
You've done a great job
with this landscaping.
We've been meaning
to have you over for dinner.
Oh. Thank you.
- This Monica's a piece of work, no?
- You know that song I just sang?
She wrote the lyrics.
Really? How fascinating.
Yeah, I was hoping
you didn't think I did.
Look, I think
that she is sincere.
What about you going back
to the Montecito?
Bob, you tell her, when you see her,
that if she needs to talk to me,
that she should come
and talk to me personally.
Now, you and me,
we should have a couple of drinks
and start lying to each other like we used to.
You wanna come too?
A lot of baloney.
Yeah.
Let me see if I got this straight.
You want me to look at a tape
of some other magician
and tell you how he does it?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm. That-That's basically it.
You know I can't do that.
You ever hear of the magician's oath?
Yeah, yeah. Of course.
Who hasn't?
Remember Melissa?
Who hooked you up with her?
Melissa, who hog-tied me
to my Soloflex?
Delinda, I had to get
a restraining order.
Oh. Bad example.
Now, Samantha Marquez,
she seems like
a very charming girl.
You're an excellent judge
of character, Lance Burton.
Excellent. Dinner with Sam
can totally be arranged
if you just take a peek.
You don't have to give away
anything specific.
- Dinner, huh?
- Maybe more.
More's good.
Good.
Let me show you.
Okay.
What's this guy's name?
Criss Angel.
He's very good.
Freeze it right there.
Now, if you look really close,
you should be able to see
some very thin wires.
I can blow it up for you.
There aren't any.
Then I think he's for real.
What do you mean, for real?
You saw what I saw.
It's not a trick.
I think he actually
levitated that girl.
Come on, Lance.
Sorry, guys.
Oh, by the way,
have you heard Monica Mancuso
is now a magician?
She made Ed Deline disappear.
Good luck.
Yeah, good one, Lance.
Keep the day job.
I think you need to set aside
some time to get to the gym.
- Your ass is looking a little soft.
- Shut up.
Wha-What are we
looking for again?
Anything
out of the ordinary.
Like what?
Like, you'll know it
when you see it.
Hmm.
Like this?
What?
Look at that!
Did you see how I just did that?
That was good.
- That was amazing.
- What do ya think it is, triple zero?
Of course.
Let me do it.
No, I got it. I got it.
Oh, wow- Ooh, look, there's
a little cutout for the necklace.
- It has tomorrow's date on it.
- Look at these tools. These are unbelie-
Mr. Frumkis.
So is this the, uh,
one-of-a-kind, personal service
you were talking about?
I am so sorry, sir. Uh-
How's it going, Brooks?
I'll be checking out shortly.
You mind telling me
where the star sapphire is?
I thought it was downstairs
in the gallery, but, uh, it seems
someone's beaten me to it.
Ah.
Yeah.
I wasn't planning
on stealing it until tonight.
Steve, I-I do like Macau.
Uh-
Um, no, I'd be happy to run it for you.
But just let me think about it. Okay?
I promise I'll get back to you.
Can I come in?
Please.
What'd you do with Brooks?
I put him on a plane.
I couldn't arrest him for something
he was thinking about doing.
What do you got?
Hold on.
Okay, thanks.
Homeland Security picked up
Meinbender in L.A. trying to enter
the country with a fake passport.
He had a ticket for Las Vegas
in his pocket, but-
Son of a bitch.
All right, we've got three hours
till the gallery opens up, we got
no suspects. What are we gonna do?
We're toast.
Are you gonna rat Monica out
to the F.B.I.?
What has that got to do with-
Even if she didn't steal it, it's pretty clear
her negligence led to the theft.
Yes, but it still happened on my watch.
No matter what I say, this whole thing's
still gonna come down on me. Right?
Well, maybe we should go
to Portis now.
What about Criss Angel?
What was he doing last night at 3:00 a.m.?
That's a good question.
That is a good question.
It's about time you came around
and started asking about the magician.
Why didn't you think
of this earlier?
Don't start.
I gotta think of everything?
Yeah, okay.
All right.
He's in the casino, on the concourse,
near the sports book.
The sports book,
which is right next to the gallery.
Let's go.
Cheers.
So you heard
about the sapphire.
Yeah, I did.
Uh, I heard it was priceless.
Oh, Ed, you and I both know
everything's got a price.
I'm sure the insurance people
will settle on a figure.
I'm sure they will.
And with you out of the picture,
Danny McCoy takes the heat.
That's quite a view.
Yeah, it seems to, uh,
reinvent itself every 10 years.
Especially the blue one
in the middle.
You know, in New York,
they called me a gold digger
to my face.
In L.A., they called me
a gold digger behind my back.
But down there,
they accepted me right away.
Yeah, they don't much care
around here.
I mean,
all you really need is the balls
to back up your dream.
Mmm.
A billion dollars doesn't hurt.
No, it doesn't.
I'm sorry, Ed.
I'm sorry I alienated you.
I'm sorry I pushed you into a corner.
I'm sorry I wasn't smart enough to
leave you alone to do what you do best.
Well, I accept your apology.
Okay, it's your turn.
My turn to what?
Your turn to apologize.
Apologize for what?
For being a pig-headed ass.
For being an insecure old fart
who's too egotistical,
small-minded and chauvinistic...
to take an order from a woman.
Listen, I'm gonna say this,
uh, as nicely as I can.
Get the hell out of here.
What?
Get off my property right now.
I have big plans for this town.
It is not too late for you to hitch
your wagon to my star, Eddie.
See those people down there?
They don't accept you.
They can barely tolerate you.
Where are you going?
I'm getting away from you,
'cause I have this uncontrollable urge
to throw you off this damn mountain.
You are fired!
Do you hear me? You are fired!
You can't even do that right.
I already quit.
Get off my mountain.
Danny McCoy,
Montecito surveillance and security.
Hey, Mike.
What's up, man?
Mmm.
What were you doing in the casino
at 3:00 a.m. last night, Criss?
I couldn't sleep.
I was just getting some air.
No, you go outside to get air.
What's going on?
What were you doing
in the casino last night?
I was just setting up some stuff
on the casino floor
and in the sports book.
He did do some magic
in those areas.
I'm here to do my show.
What the hell's going on?
You don't have the sapphire,
do you?
What are you talking about, man?
Okay, maybe you don't have the sapphire,
but you are admitting it's just an act.
A lot of what I do is real.
Some of it's an illusion.
It's up to you
to determine what's what.
See? This- I knew it.
What is that
supposed to mean?
It means that anything is possible.
You see,
I make you look over here...
when you should be
looking over here.
That's yours?
Here you go.
- Why would this guy take the risk?
- Gambling debts, hookers, drugs.
Could be a million reasons.
If I grab this guy up and I'm wrong,
it is definitely my ass. I need you
to make a call, check him out.
- I'll get back to you.
- All right. Make it quick.
I only got an hour.
What are you doing here?
Why aren't you dressed
for the opening?
We're not having an opening.
Come here. Haley, throw one of these
in a bag, would you?
Put it on her account.
No, no, no. Don't tell me
you're gonna put a $99 replica
in the gallery display.
The weight's right. The color's good.
I think it just might work. Huh?
You've lost your mind.
Here you go.
Thank you.
This way.
Look, nobody knows
the real stone is missing but us.
All you gotta do is make it
look like you believe that this one's real,
no matter who's in the gallery. Okay?
Can you do that?
Think so.
All right. I'll meet you down here
in 20 minutes for the walk-through.
I checked the guy out. He just bought
a $7 million house in Barbados
through some shill corporation in Antigua.
On a government salary?
Yeah.
Hey, listen, I gotta go.
Ed.
Hey! Yo. Yo, yo! Whoa.
Sorry, Mr. Deline.
Company car.
Ah, right on time.
Danny assures me
we are all set.
Yes. Video is operational,
lasers are fully calibrated,
and we have guards in every position.
Outstanding then.
Mikey, what's
your laser thingy tell you?
I can't get an accurate reading.
- Come on, Mikey.
Has he got it or not?
- I don't know.
Well, you better find out
before he gets to the bathroom.
We don't have any cameras in there.
- Bathroom? It looks like
he's headed to the east exit.
Danny? Danny?
Portis! Stop!
- Take it easy, man!
- Excuse me.
Excuse me!
Excuse me.
Slow down!
Whoa!
Do you guys
wanna see another one?
I said, do you wanna see
another one?
I've got the schematics
for all his little tricks right here.
Are you gonna tell me
everything that's gonna happen?
Are you ready?
He should be popping up
right about now.
So, Mike, tell me how I do this.
Stay close.
Bold, beautiful and blue.
Three words that aptly describe
the most valuable sapphire on earth,
and also...
the most beautiful
hotel-casino in Las Vegas,
the all-new Montecito.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you-
the Star of Kashmir.
Not bad for a waitress from Ohio, huh?
Waitress, my butt.
- I heard she used to be a stripper.
- I bet that's not all she did.
No glass cases.
Just raw, naked beauty
for all to enjoy.
Now, in keeping with
our night of surprises,
I also have another
announcement to make.
As you may know,
Ed Deline has left us
to pursue other interests.
One door closes,
another opens.
We welcome a man
with fresh new vision and vitality...
and certainly as bold and beautiful
in his own right.
Ladies and gentleman,
Montecito's new president
of operations,
Danny McCoy.
Did you know about this?
Ow.
were a girl's best friend...
never saw 126 carats...
of absolute blue heaven.
Monica Mancuso,
this is Agent Portis of the F.B.I.
Special Agent Vern Portis,
Rare Gems and Antiquities division.
- Uh, we need to talk about this display.
- You're already talking about security?
You haven't even commented
on the Star of Kashmir.
Awesome. Anyway-
Agent Portis,
maybe you're a little more
in touch with your feelings.
A star sapphire is more
than just a gemstone,
and the Star of Kashmir
is more than just a sapphire.
Anyone who's been in its presence
can sense its power...
as a catalyst
for spiritual enlightenment
and inner peace.
Beneath that off-the-rack suit
beats the heart of a poet.
- Anyway, we need to enclose this in-
- How much would you say
the Star of Kashmir is worth?
It's on loan
from the Indian government.
It's not for sale.
- Yeah. Got it. But how much?
- It's a national treasure. It's priceless.
Well, you can't feel the power
of a priceless object of desire...
if it's enclosed in some glass case.
- You can't steal it either.
- That's why you're here.
I want every woman who comes
through here to imagine...
the most magnificent sapphire
around their neck...
and then begging their husbands
to buy the knockoff at the gift shop.
Well, you gotta talk to Marketing.
I work in surveillance and security.
I want this thing secured
in a bulletproof glass case.
No bulletproof glass case.
I want the big blue displayed
just as it is.
Hey. How are you, ladies?
How are you doing?
Hi.
What are you drinking?
Uh, water.
Can I try an experiment
with you?
Sure.
Could you take a sip and swirl it
around in your mouth?
And imagine, if you will,
your favorite beverage.
You're thinking of beer.
Oh, my God.
How did you know that?
- I don't get the whole magic thing.
- What's not to get?
Take a sip.
It's beer. That's amazing.
It's so obviously fake.
Everybody knows you can't
really defy the laws of physics.
How long have you
booked him for?
Two sold-out shows a night
at the pool for the next week.
Who's that?
Criss Angel.
He looks familiar.
Is he in a band?
No, he's Mary's new magician.
- Did you know I was
a magician's assistant once?
- Why does that not surprise me?
For the Amazing Roger.
He was super cute.
- I actually learned a few tricks myself.
- Really? Like what?
Once we were driving home
from a show, I put my hand on his thigh,
and he turned into a motel.
Come on! I need it!
Come on!
Yeah! Oh!
We've received some information.
What kind of information?
Information that tells me
that you might want to give Danny's
security plan a second look.
I was a poor waitress
from Ohio.
I married a multibillionaire
whose family tried to do everything
they could to shut me out.
I'm used to getting my way.
What's the information?
Three of the best jewel thieves
in the country- if not the world-
are either headed for
or are already in Las Vegas.
We have reason to suspect that
at least one of these three will make
an attempt on the Star of Kashmir.
Well-Well, we've got
alarms, videos, phasers.
Lasers.
Shouldn't that be enough?
Monica, think of these three
as big, hungry lions...
and that big blue sapphire
as the world's tastiest steak.
Nearly $100 million changes hands
in this casino every day.
How much do we lose
due to theft?
Essentially, nothing.
That's thousands of chips
and millions in cash,
24-7-365.
This is a little thing, in one room.
It doesn't move.
Surrounded by cameras, sensors,
dozens of armed guards-
Well, I think you're
taking a big chance.
Call me a thrill seeker.
When will Ed Deline be joining us?
Ed's not available.
Ed Deline quit.
Really?
It's all right. No worries.
I am in the process of remedying
that situation.
And, as I said,
I'm used to getting my way.
When is the last time we had a long,
leisurely breakfast together, huh?
Eddie?
Hmm?
Were you listening?
Yeah, absolutely.
I was just, uh,
flashing back to, um-
Remember, um-
"Love in the morning
brings a baby."
Exactly.
Do you remember in Florence,
that caf? where we were
having breakfast?
An old man came up
to the table, and I said,
"Can I help you, sir?"
And he goes, "No, but I help you.
You want a baby, you make love
in the morning, huh?"
I remember. Oh.
Love in the morning.
I liked it.
What?
You said you weren't
gonna shave your beard.
No. You said you weren't gonna
buy that dining room table.
But, you see, feel.
It's, uh- It's coming back.
I'm growing it for you.
But buy one couch. Finito.
Okay. Deal.
Basta.
You hear something?
Mm-mmm.
Well, I do.
What in the world?
Eddie!
What have you done?
Take it easy. Save it.
There's a card here.
"Dear Eddie, I drove you away.
So you can drive this back. Monica."
That is so sweet.
Sweet?
Well, it's an apology.
She calls me "Eddie,"
and, uh, she knows I hate that.
This is a $400,000 "I'm sorry."
450. I can afford my own cars.
Yes, you can.
You could also go back to work.
See, this is, at best,
a backhanded apology.
It's an olive branch.
Look, Jillian,
let me tell you something.
As long as that wacky bitch
is running my hotel,
I ain't never goin' back.
What-Where are you going?
I'm gonna call a tow truck.
I'll meet you up in the bedroom.
- Okay, you just swallowed four needles.
- Oh, no.
- Those are sugar needles.
- There is no way.
Okay, there-
You get the girls involved.
I get it.
Where you going with this, pal?
Oh, you're-you're into something.
You're feeling something. Right.
Out of his belly button?
That is gross.
No.
That's not- That's not possible.
Out of his belly button?
Come on!
- Monica's gone nuts.
- Why do you think women
like magicians?
What?
- They're basically liars, you know.
- Who?
Conjurers. Illusionists.
Prestidigitators. Whatever.
They all claim to be tapped
into some supernatural power,
but, really, it's just sleight of hand
and misdirection.
Can you help me out
with this, please?
Women say they hate liars,
but they seem like they like magicians.
Ironic, wouldn't you say?
- You have no idea
how he's doing it, do you?
- Not a clue.
Not a friggin' clue.
But I'm gonna catch him.
I'll catch him.
- Come here.
- Sorry. What's up?
I don't know, man.
I'm a little worried
about this sapphire.
What did the G-man say?
Only that, uh,
America's three best thieves
are gunning for that rock.
Well, what about this guy?
He's got fast hands
and the run of the hotel.
Ah, come on, man.
He's a magician, Mike,
not a world-class thief.
Mmm. You talk to Ed yet?
No, not yet.
But he couldn't have picked
a worse time to quit.
If this thing gets snatched,
it's gonna be my ass.
Well, brother,
I think you gotta ask yourself-
W.W.E.D.?
Yeah. What is that?
What Would Ed Do?
Well, I'll tell you one thing-
He wouldn't trust the sensors
and the lasers, okay?
And he'd have somebody
do nothing but watch that ice.
W.W.- I like that, Mike.
Mitch.
I need you to make a schedule.
Three shifts. I want two eyes on
that monitor 24 hours a day, okay?
You got it.
Mind if I try something
with you folks?
Sure.
Pick out any card you like,
all right?
Okay.
I'd like you to sign that,
put it anywhere you want
in the deck.
I got it.
Good. Good. Okay.
Watch.
- Is that your card?
- Oh, my goodness.
That's incredible.
Could you do me a favor
and just get it for me?
Just take it out. Go ahead.
Oh, my God. I can't.
It's on the inside of the glass.
As a magician, I promise never
to reveal the secret of any illusion...
to a non-magician.
I see that you know
the magician's oath, huh?
I further promise never to perform
any illusions for any non-magicians...
without first practicing the effect
until I can perform it well enough...
to maintain the illusion of magic.
I'm Criss.
I'm-
Delinda.
I used to be in the magic game myself.
So, um, how'd you do the card gag?
It's not a gag.
Oh, come on.
You preset it with the slot manager.
The whole deck was the seven of spades,
right?
If it's actually happening,
it isn't magic, is it?
Well-
You gotta come see my show.
You ever hear
of the Amazing Roger?
It was nice to meet you.
He used to do a lot
of corporate gigs.
The Criss Angel show
is sold out for the entire run.
Good. But do not put
the sold-out sign on the box office.
Why not?
I want anyone showing up
for Criss Angel tickets to be switched
to the Star of Kashmir.
Well, isn't that
a little deceptive?
Girls, this sapphire-
it's the new metaphor
for the Montecito.
It's bold and beautiful
and blue and-
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did we open a Hooters?
If we did, you're in trouble.
What about my whales?
Mr. Frumkis wants a special viewing.
Great. Let your best players know
that you can arrange a private viewing
of the Star of Kashmir.
Fantastic.
Oh, and intimate that-
that for the right amount of play,
the wife or girlfriend can try it on.
Seriously?
Like what kind of play?
What about security?
Yeah.
Don't worry.
No one's gonna play enough.
It's just an enticement
to get them to gamble more.
I'm not gonna lie to my clients.
Yeah, I prefer to look at it
as marketing.
Hey, uh, some of my people
also have been asking when
Ed Deline is coming back.
Uh, girls, it won't be long.
I made him a proverbial offer
that he just cannot refuse.
Excuse me, Ms. Mancuso?
Oh! For me?
Thanks. Goody.
Wow.
Oh, it's from Ed!
It's a tiny little chocolate car.
It's cute.
"Eat me."
- Yeah.
- Danny, it's Mitch.
I think you need to get down here.
All right. Turn everything off.
Please. Please, please, please.
No.
2:45 a.m.,
everything's copasetic.
2:46, sensors go off
and the video goes dark.
When does everything go back?
Thirteen minutes later.
- Who was in charge
in the surveillance room?
- Derek Chow.
Never thought I'd get backroomed
in my own place, huh?
We know you shut down the cameras
and the sensors, Derek.
Maybe there was
some kind of glitch.
Come on, man.
You can do better than that.
I can't.
You do know that the sapphire's gone,
and that that makes you an accessory-
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Gone? I thought she
was just coming to check the display.
Who's "she"?
At 2:30 a.m. she comes into
the surveillance room and told me to disable
the lasers and shut down the video.
Who? Who?
I told her I-
- She swore me to secrecy.
She threatened to fire me if I didn't-
- Derek. Derek. Who?
Monica Mancuso.
- This is a disaster. An absolute disaster.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Tell you what?
- You know, Ed did do the right thing.
You are nuts.
How dare you. How dare you.
I know that you told Derek Chow
to shut off the alarms and the video.
You do realize that the insurance company
states that once you turn the alarms off,
the policy's dead, right?
You don't think I took it.
I'm calling Portis.
The F.B.I.'ll have 50 agents crawling
all over this place within the hour,
not to mention the press.
Danny, wait!
I just wanted to try it on.
You what?
I just wanted to feel it
around my neck, that's all.
Then I put it back. I swear.
And when I was done,
I locked the door behind me.
I called the surveillance room
to make sure the alarms and video
were turned back on.
So, why wasn't the thief on video?
You're telling me in the two minutes
it took for you to leave then call back to the
surveillance room, the sapphire was stolen?
Yes!
That is the biggest crock of B.S.
that I've ever heard in my life.
It's the truth! Why would I
steal the Star of Kashmir?
I'm a billionaire.
Because you're the kind of woman
who wants what she can't have.
That's why.
Please. Please, don't call the F.B.I.
The exhibit isn't till tonight.
You can find it. I know you can find it.
Portis needs to notify the Indian government.
This thing is a national treasure
we're talking about.
Didn't he give you
some sort of file?
So?
So, then you have a list of your suspects.
You find them, you find the Star of Kashmir.
No. Sorry. You're on your own.
Danny, think about how this looks.
Ed's gone five minutes,
and you lose a priceless gem.
- Where do you think you're going?
- I got eight hours to find that rock
because of you.
And if I don't, I am calling the feds,
and I'm calling the press.
Yeah!
I didn't catch anything. You?
Well, I didn't have
the best angle.
Maybe he is for real.
Delinda,
you're a grown woman.
You don't think he can
actually levitate himself?
No, but then how did he do it?
Mike Cannon
will ascertain how he did it.
She actually said that she tried it on
so she could twirl around with it?
Yeah.
That's the greatest thing
I've ever heard!
So, you don't think she did it?
Oh, she can't be that stupid.
She told you right away,
then that surveillance guy
gave her up in two minutes.
Sit down here. Let me see-
Let me see this file.
That's the greatest thing
I ever heard.
Where'd you get it?
This came from Portis.
The F.B.I. agent?
Yeah. You know him?
No.
Well, he knows you,
or at least of you.
You run the VideoIQ
on these people?
Yeah. None of 'em
have been in the hotel.
Definitely not last night.
That's good. So, here's the deal.
These two guys, they do most
of their work in Europe.
Now, her, this, uh, Bobbi Hartman-
She, uh- She used to do some
contract work for the Agency.
She's a pretty good little thief.
You know where I can find her?
Yeah, she's a bartender now
at some topless joint on Fremont.
All right.
Oh, and listen.
Do me a favor.
Just be real careful here.
You don't wanna
come with me?
I can't.
Come on. Come on!
Listen.
I would never leave you alone
for a minute. You know that.
But I cannot work for this woman.
I cannot.
Well, what are you gonna
do with yourself?
What?
You just can't retire.
Come on.
Retire?
You know the Maloofs.
Hey, what's up, Danny?
Hey! How you doing?
Nice to see you.
Nice to see you.
- Joe.
- Sorry to keep you guys waiting, but, uh-
That's all right.
Danny and I had to
discuss some girl.
So, what's going on?
We came over to make a deal with,
uh, Ed to run our new property.
- Really?
- You want in?
Yeah. Well, so far I got out of 'em,
uh, the men's room concession.
See what you can do.
Can I run that new, uh,
Playboy joint you guys got?
Mike Cannon.
Hey, did you search
Monica's office yet?
Didn't have to.
- How do we know she didn't leave
the gallery with the sapphire?
- LI BS, my man.
Laser Induced
Breakdown Spectroscopy.
You see, sapphires are essentially
corundum, um, aluminum oxide,
which is, of course,
the second hardest mineral
known to man.
Yeah, Mike. Please, not today.
I ran video of Monica leaving the gallery
last night through this LI BS filter.
It would have detected the sapphire.
It did not.
So she's telling the truth.
Short of a full body cavity search,
Danny, I'd say she's clean.
You got anything?
- Uh, we'll see.
- What's that music?
I know where you at.
I gotta go. Excuse me.
I'm looking for a Bobbi Hartman.
Never heard of her.
Then how did you know
that Bobbi was a she?
Aren't you late
for your Men's Health
photo shoot, pretty boy?
She used to work the bar here.
Now she's on the pole.
Hey!
You know, this, uh, gets
much more interesting in private.
Meet me in the champagne room
in two minutes.
So, where are we going?
Who are you?
Why don't you take a look
in my wallet and find out?
The Montecito.
You work for Ed Deline.
Mm-hmm. So, am I gonna find
a really big sapphire in this bag?
Somebody took down
the Star of Kashmir?
Mm-hmm.
I'm flattered Ed would think it's me,
but I'm out of the business.
Then why did you run?
You're too good-looking
to be a cop.
I felt your gun.
I thought you might be a collector.
You owe some money on the street?
Is that it?
I owe a lot of people a lot of things.
Why do you think I'm dancing?
Cellular biology, human anatomy.
Let me guess-You're putting yourself
through med school by stripping?
I know it's a clich?, but-
Where were you last night?
Here. Midnight to 8:00.
You can check the tapes.
Oh, I will. Believe me.
Look, if I were you,
I'd be looking at the Montecito.
Somebody with a lot of skill,
who knows your layout,
timed your patterns-
If you ask me, it's an inside job.
What are you doing?
Don't I owe you a lap dance?
No, I-I'm- I gotta run.
Can I just get my hundred bucks back?
Sorry. No refunds.
Oh. Right.
Bobbi Hartman's story checks out.
She was working all last night.
All right. We cross her out.
We've got two suspects left.
Jurgen Meinbender
and Ellis Brooks.
But neither one of 'em
have been in the hotel.
As far as we know.
We ran a facial,
but these are old pictures.
All right. Let's just say
that it is one of these two.
How would they know
that Monica went into the gallery
in the middle of the night?
Maybe they didn't.
Maybe one of them
was casing the gallery,
saw Monica go in,
saw the sensors and video go black
and took a shot.
You'd think if they were wandering
around the hotel at that hour,
they might have a room here, no?
They're probably
long gone by now.
Unless-Wait. Hold on.
They cut their reservation short
and checked out early.
5,000 rooms in this place,
and nobody checks out early?
Wait. What if it was
just the opposite?
What if one of these guys
planned to snatch the sapphire,
but got his chance too soon?
So he steals it, but he doesn't
want to ruffle any feathers,
so he doesn't check out early.
So you think he's still here.
Didn't Sam say something
about some of her players
wanting a private viewing?
I'd like to do a final walk-through
10 minutes before the opening.
Right. Of course.
Everything okay, McCoy?
Fine. Fine. I'll, uh, meet you
at the gallery at 6:50.
Okay.
Okay.
How you doing?
Do you know this guy?
- No.
- What about this guy?
Barry Frumkis.
How do you know him?
- He's one of my whales. Why?
- Thanks, Sam.
Did he ask for a private viewing
of the sapphire?
Sure. Lose a pile of money,
see the blue rock, right?
Let me guess.
This is his first time here.
Yeah? So?
Did you know
that his real name
is Ellis Brooks?
Fascinating.
I don't really care if his name
is Princess St?phanie of Monaco.
He just dropped 200 grand
last night.
Where he is now?
I know he's not on the floor.
We got four hours. Come on.
Come on, come on.
What?
Whoa, Bob. Bob.
What the heck are you doing?
Hi, Ed. Hi, Jillian.
Hello.
You've done a great job
with this landscaping.
We've been meaning
to have you over for dinner.
Oh. Thank you.
- This Monica's a piece of work, no?
- You know that song I just sang?
She wrote the lyrics.
Really? How fascinating.
Yeah, I was hoping
you didn't think I did.
Look, I think
that she is sincere.
What about you going back
to the Montecito?
Bob, you tell her, when you see her,
that if she needs to talk to me,
that she should come
and talk to me personally.
Now, you and me,
we should have a couple of drinks
and start lying to each other like we used to.
You wanna come too?
A lot of baloney.
Yeah.
Let me see if I got this straight.
You want me to look at a tape
of some other magician
and tell you how he does it?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm. That-That's basically it.
You know I can't do that.
You ever hear of the magician's oath?
Yeah, yeah. Of course.
Who hasn't?
Remember Melissa?
Who hooked you up with her?
Melissa, who hog-tied me
to my Soloflex?
Delinda, I had to get
a restraining order.
Oh. Bad example.
Now, Samantha Marquez,
she seems like
a very charming girl.
You're an excellent judge
of character, Lance Burton.
Excellent. Dinner with Sam
can totally be arranged
if you just take a peek.
You don't have to give away
anything specific.
- Dinner, huh?
- Maybe more.
More's good.
Good.
Let me show you.
Okay.
What's this guy's name?
Criss Angel.
He's very good.
Freeze it right there.
Now, if you look really close,
you should be able to see
some very thin wires.
I can blow it up for you.
There aren't any.
Then I think he's for real.
What do you mean, for real?
You saw what I saw.
It's not a trick.
I think he actually
levitated that girl.
Come on, Lance.
Sorry, guys.
Oh, by the way,
have you heard Monica Mancuso
is now a magician?
She made Ed Deline disappear.
Good luck.
Yeah, good one, Lance.
Keep the day job.
I think you need to set aside
some time to get to the gym.
- Your ass is looking a little soft.
- Shut up.
Wha-What are we
looking for again?
Anything
out of the ordinary.
Like what?
Like, you'll know it
when you see it.
Hmm.
Like this?
What?
Look at that!
Did you see how I just did that?
That was good.
- That was amazing.
- What do ya think it is, triple zero?
Of course.
Let me do it.
No, I got it. I got it.
Oh, wow- Ooh, look, there's
a little cutout for the necklace.
- It has tomorrow's date on it.
- Look at these tools. These are unbelie-
Mr. Frumkis.
So is this the, uh,
one-of-a-kind, personal service
you were talking about?
I am so sorry, sir. Uh-
How's it going, Brooks?
I'll be checking out shortly.
You mind telling me
where the star sapphire is?
I thought it was downstairs
in the gallery, but, uh, it seems
someone's beaten me to it.
Ah.
Yeah.
I wasn't planning
on stealing it until tonight.
Steve, I-I do like Macau.
Uh-
Um, no, I'd be happy to run it for you.
But just let me think about it. Okay?
I promise I'll get back to you.
Can I come in?
Please.
What'd you do with Brooks?
I put him on a plane.
I couldn't arrest him for something
he was thinking about doing.
What do you got?
Hold on.
Okay, thanks.
Homeland Security picked up
Meinbender in L.A. trying to enter
the country with a fake passport.
He had a ticket for Las Vegas
in his pocket, but-
Son of a bitch.
All right, we've got three hours
till the gallery opens up, we got
no suspects. What are we gonna do?
We're toast.
Are you gonna rat Monica out
to the F.B.I.?
What has that got to do with-
Even if she didn't steal it, it's pretty clear
her negligence led to the theft.
Yes, but it still happened on my watch.
No matter what I say, this whole thing's
still gonna come down on me. Right?
Well, maybe we should go
to Portis now.
What about Criss Angel?
What was he doing last night at 3:00 a.m.?
That's a good question.
That is a good question.
It's about time you came around
and started asking about the magician.
Why didn't you think
of this earlier?
Don't start.
I gotta think of everything?
Yeah, okay.
All right.
He's in the casino, on the concourse,
near the sports book.
The sports book,
which is right next to the gallery.
Let's go.
Cheers.
So you heard
about the sapphire.
Yeah, I did.
Uh, I heard it was priceless.
Oh, Ed, you and I both know
everything's got a price.
I'm sure the insurance people
will settle on a figure.
I'm sure they will.
And with you out of the picture,
Danny McCoy takes the heat.
That's quite a view.
Yeah, it seems to, uh,
reinvent itself every 10 years.
Especially the blue one
in the middle.
You know, in New York,
they called me a gold digger
to my face.
In L.A., they called me
a gold digger behind my back.
But down there,
they accepted me right away.
Yeah, they don't much care
around here.
I mean,
all you really need is the balls
to back up your dream.
Mmm.
A billion dollars doesn't hurt.
No, it doesn't.
I'm sorry, Ed.
I'm sorry I alienated you.
I'm sorry I pushed you into a corner.
I'm sorry I wasn't smart enough to
leave you alone to do what you do best.
Well, I accept your apology.
Okay, it's your turn.
My turn to what?
Your turn to apologize.
Apologize for what?
For being a pig-headed ass.
For being an insecure old fart
who's too egotistical,
small-minded and chauvinistic...
to take an order from a woman.
Listen, I'm gonna say this,
uh, as nicely as I can.
Get the hell out of here.
What?
Get off my property right now.
I have big plans for this town.
It is not too late for you to hitch
your wagon to my star, Eddie.
See those people down there?
They don't accept you.
They can barely tolerate you.
Where are you going?
I'm getting away from you,
'cause I have this uncontrollable urge
to throw you off this damn mountain.
You are fired!
Do you hear me? You are fired!
You can't even do that right.
I already quit.
Get off my mountain.
Danny McCoy,
Montecito surveillance and security.
Hey, Mike.
What's up, man?
Mmm.
What were you doing in the casino
at 3:00 a.m. last night, Criss?
I couldn't sleep.
I was just getting some air.
No, you go outside to get air.
What's going on?
What were you doing
in the casino last night?
I was just setting up some stuff
on the casino floor
and in the sports book.
He did do some magic
in those areas.
I'm here to do my show.
What the hell's going on?
You don't have the sapphire,
do you?
What are you talking about, man?
Okay, maybe you don't have the sapphire,
but you are admitting it's just an act.
A lot of what I do is real.
Some of it's an illusion.
It's up to you
to determine what's what.
See? This- I knew it.
What is that
supposed to mean?
It means that anything is possible.
You see,
I make you look over here...
when you should be
looking over here.
That's yours?
Here you go.
- Why would this guy take the risk?
- Gambling debts, hookers, drugs.
Could be a million reasons.
If I grab this guy up and I'm wrong,
it is definitely my ass. I need you
to make a call, check him out.
- I'll get back to you.
- All right. Make it quick.
I only got an hour.
What are you doing here?
Why aren't you dressed
for the opening?
We're not having an opening.
Come here. Haley, throw one of these
in a bag, would you?
Put it on her account.
No, no, no. Don't tell me
you're gonna put a $99 replica
in the gallery display.
The weight's right. The color's good.
I think it just might work. Huh?
You've lost your mind.
Here you go.
Thank you.
This way.
Look, nobody knows
the real stone is missing but us.
All you gotta do is make it
look like you believe that this one's real,
no matter who's in the gallery. Okay?
Can you do that?
Think so.
All right. I'll meet you down here
in 20 minutes for the walk-through.
I checked the guy out. He just bought
a $7 million house in Barbados
through some shill corporation in Antigua.
On a government salary?
Yeah.
Hey, listen, I gotta go.
Ed.
Hey! Yo. Yo, yo! Whoa.
Sorry, Mr. Deline.
Company car.
Ah, right on time.
Danny assures me
we are all set.
Yes. Video is operational,
lasers are fully calibrated,
and we have guards in every position.
Outstanding then.
Mikey, what's
your laser thingy tell you?
I can't get an accurate reading.
- Come on, Mikey.
Has he got it or not?
- I don't know.
Well, you better find out
before he gets to the bathroom.
We don't have any cameras in there.
- Bathroom? It looks like
he's headed to the east exit.
Danny? Danny?
Portis! Stop!
- Take it easy, man!
- Excuse me.
Excuse me!
Excuse me.
Slow down!
Whoa!
Do you guys
wanna see another one?
I said, do you wanna see
another one?
I've got the schematics
for all his little tricks right here.
Are you gonna tell me
everything that's gonna happen?
Are you ready?
He should be popping up
right about now.
So, Mike, tell me how I do this.
Stay close.
Bold, beautiful and blue.
Three words that aptly describe
the most valuable sapphire on earth,
and also...
the most beautiful
hotel-casino in Las Vegas,
the all-new Montecito.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you-
the Star of Kashmir.
Not bad for a waitress from Ohio, huh?
Waitress, my butt.
- I heard she used to be a stripper.
- I bet that's not all she did.
No glass cases.
Just raw, naked beauty
for all to enjoy.
Now, in keeping with
our night of surprises,
I also have another
announcement to make.
As you may know,
Ed Deline has left us
to pursue other interests.
One door closes,
another opens.
We welcome a man
with fresh new vision and vitality...
and certainly as bold and beautiful
in his own right.
Ladies and gentleman,
Montecito's new president
of operations,
Danny McCoy.
Did you know about this?
Ow.