Las Vegas (2003–2008): Season 2, Episode 13 - Sperm Whales and Spearmint Rhinos - full transcript
Chaos is set in motion when Danny and Delinda find a hotel guest who appears to have committed suicide. When Delinda investigates further, she suspects murder and dispatches Danny and Ed on a mission to find the killer which places Delinda in jeopardy. Meanwhile, Sam plays host to a tycoon who is obsessed with hygiene and threatens to leave the hotel when a strand of Sam's hair is found on his shirt. Elsewhere, Mike is reunited with his ex-girlfriend Nina from college who has a strange request for him.
Have you seen the new
tiger show?
No, not yet.
I can't believe it.
What's wrong?
The sister girl in the red
blazer. Name's Nina St. John.
She's beautiful. Do you know
her? She's my college sweetheart.
The one who got away.
The one all other women
are measured against.
Wow.
Wait. Aren't you
going to say hello?
Oh, no. I thought maybe
I'd go and throw up.
All right.
Are you a man or a wimp?
Go and talk to her.
Well, I'm pretty sure
she doesn't want to see me.
Come on, you're older, wiser.
Abs of steel.
You may even be able
to win her back.
You really think
I could get her back?
She isn't with anybody.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
Okay. Come on Jay Jackson
from Oregon.
Go, baby.
It's your lucky day.
Oh, my God,
Michael Cannon. Hi.
You look great, Nina.
You, too. Wow.
These are my friends Debbie
and Rhona. How's it going?
Hi, Michael.
Hello.
So, you staying here?
Actually, I work here.
In Surveillance and Security.
Wow.
Okay, I haven't seen an
odd number since daybreak.
I'm going with five, nine...
Well, I just wanted to say hi.
I'll let you get back.
I'm sorry. We're just
on such a roll here.
Well, why don't we grab
a drink later? Sure.
Nine.
Unbelievable.
You owe me $864.
What?
You order a round of drinks
for the house, you pay for them.
House rule.
Look, I was just trying...
to get laid last night.
Make this chick think
that I was loaded.
Yeah. Doesn't look like
your plan worked.
Which is why I didn't pay.
I didn't get what I was paying for.
Anyway, what's the Montecito make a year?
Like $18 billion? So what's
a round of drinks to you guys?
It's theft, Frank.
Theft.
So either you find a way to
pay or... I can't. I can't pay.
I blew all my cash
down at the tables.
Well, then it's going on your room charge.
And if you can't find a way to pay...
Well, I know you're not that
dumb. You'll find a way to pay.
Vegas sucks, man.
Well.
Okay.
Sam, it's nice.
Could you just take the earrings
out for me? Okay, thanks.
Jenny, excellent. Lanie, good.
Could I check the nails?
Trim those, please.
Sam seems really nervous.
Must be one big whale.
Yep. Flies in by helicopter,
rents out the whole seventh floor.
You're kidding me, right?
Go shave. Now.
Unbelievable. Nice.
Maybe it's the President.
No. The whole place would be
swarming with Secret Service.
My money's on Prince William.
Ha, you wish.
Yes, I do.
Yeah, you do.
You're both way off. The high
roller's name is Scott Steindorff.
Scott Steindorff. I've never
heard of him. Me, neither.
The guy's some
kind of real estate tycoon.
Pretty much owns Scottsdale.
He's also a germaphobe.
Turned the whole seventh floor
into one big sterilized room.
Well, Vegas wouldn't be
Vegas without the freak show.
You gotta give the guy an A for
effort. I give him an A for ass.
Are you turning
into a man-hater, Delinda?
Not at all. At least three out
of 100 are tolerable.
Who's the last guy you
found tolerable? Besides you?
What's wrong? Whoa.
What is that smell?
Hotel Security,
are you there?
You wait here.
Okay.
Oh, damn.
God.
Oh, my God. That's him.
Who?
The last guy I met
who wasn't a jerk.
Lot of good that did him.
I'm gonna puke.
You got it. Let's put him up.
So, who is the guy? Well,
according to this note...
and the prescription bottle here in
the satchel, the name is Peter Greco.
Checked in four days ago under
the alias, Richard Jones.
I met him in Cup-A Jo's
and we talked about music.
He didn't seem suicidal.
Greco had some outstanding
warrants and a lot of debt.
Not anymore he hasn't.
Maybe this was the
easy way out. Yeah.
Daddy, he seemed
sort of happy.
Well, when
you met him, honey...
but a lot of times the world sees one
thing and the truth is something else.
Danny have the hall secured?
Yeah.
You got a clear shot to the freight
elevator, shouldn't run into any guests.
Nessa.
Nina wants
to have a drink.
Well, that's promising,
right?
Well, she broke up with me because
she thought she can do better.
It's a pity drink. No. I
didn't see a wedding ring.
And I'm sure
you've checked the registry.
Last name's still St. John,
but she could be...
But nothing.
The woman's still up for grabs, which
means she's yours for the taking.
And I can help you get her.
How?
All right. Rule Number 1:
Women are attracted to men
who are taken.
So from this moment on,
you have me.
Okay. I'm liking this plan.
What's Rule Number 2?
When you're having the drink,
talk about anything...
her parents, her career,
her favorite color.
But do not ask her
about relationships.
You don't care, you've moved
on. You're not invested.
It's blue. Her favorite color.
Cerulean blue, actually.
Quit being such a woman.
Be forgetful, distracted,
detached. That's what you men do.
And you women find
that attractive?
Yeah, for some reason
we love that. All right.
The last rule is
walk away first.
That, my good friend,
is the power move.
When your glass is almost
empty, check your watch...
and get
the hell out of there.
You're a very busy man.
Busy's hot?
Hot! Trust me.
I think you'll find everything to
your satisfaction, Mr. Steindorff.
Did you just sniffle?
Absolutely not.
Whatever happened at the
Bellagio, I assure you...
it will not be happening here
at the Montecito.
I don't want to talk about the
Bellagio. Forget I mentioned it.
Mr. Steindorff?
We have a new mattress for you
sir. New pillows, towels, linens.
All of the carpets have
been steam cleaned. Twice.
You know, people don't
realize how quickly...
dust mites
can consume a mattress.
Yes. Well, people are stupid,
sir.
They're filthy.
That's what they are.
There's no dust.
You certain? I use a
special magnetic cloth. See?
Yes, I do.
Do you know that most dust
isn't really dust at all?
Is that right? It's
primarily dead skin cells.
Hey, Daddy.
Hey, sweetie.
How you feeling?
Suspicious.
What's this?
Remember I told you
I talked to the dead guy?
Yeah. About music
or something. Yeah.
He wrote the name of a CD
he thought I'd like.
I found it in my purse.
A Brazil Chill double CD set.
Okay. I don't get it. I
remembered the suicide note...
and I had a flash.
I think the handwriting
on this is different.
Cops see this? No. I
just remembered I had it.
Daddy, you saw
the suicide note.
Don't you think these letters
are taller and neater?
I couldn't tell you.
Maybe we could get a copy
of the suicide note from Luis.
We could compare it.
New cards, new chips.
New felt, just for you.
Did you know that only
two people out of every 10...
wash their hands
after going to the bathroom?
Look around you.
Thousands of grubby little
hands, all pushing, pulling...
smearing.
That is a little disgusting.
Yeah.
The only thing better than
clean cards are lucky ones.
See, you and the Montecito
are meant to be.
You know, Samantha, I have
to say I am impressed.
You've impressed me.
Well, thank you, sir.
I just try to do my...
It's not just your preparatory work,
but I can see that you exfoliate.
Excuse me?
Yes, your skin.
Oh, my skin.
There's really no excuse...
for an oily t-zone, blemishes.
They're all just vivid symbols of
poor hygiene. But your skin is...
relatively flawless.
Oh, thank you.
Sir, can I get you a drink from
the bar? After I wash my hands...
with hot water, of course.
You know, studies have shown...
that hot water is no more
effective than cold water.
As long as you've got a
really good anti-bacterial...
That is...
Not mine.
Nice kitty.
Mary, why is there
a tiger in the hallway?
I don't know.
Shouldn't we do something?
You go on ahead.
I'm perfectly content
just standing here frozen.
Me, too.
Yeah.
There you are,
you naughty kitty.
Where have you been, my
naughty girl. Good girl. Yeah.
Where have you been, huh?
We've got a show to put on.
Oh. Sorry about that. Somebody
left the stage door open.
She must have just walked off.
Good. Come on. Let's go.
Time to go to work.
Good girl. Good. Come on.
Good tiger. Come on.
Good girl. Come on. Good.
I think I peed myself.
Yeah. Me, too.
Did you hear that Mike's college
sweetheart is here at the Montecito?
No. No, I didn't.
He's trying to win her back.
Oh, that's so sweet.
I'm helping him.
Great. That's great.
Hey.
Hey.
Who's this?
His name is Garvin Beckman.
He's a handwriting analyst.
What's he doing?
He's comparing Peter Greco's suicide
note to another writing sample.
Didn't the police rule
it a suicide?
Yeah, well, Delinda
had a hunch that it wasn't.
Delinda had a hunch.
You find that funny, do you?
Okay, I'm done here, Ed.
What do you got?
I think your daughter's right.
There's absolutely no way the
same guy wrote both these notes.
Good job, Delinda.
We have the late Peter Greco
going into his room...
for the last time at 8:07 p. m.
Coroner thought he died
between 10:00 and midnight...
drug overdose, right?
I don't see anything
that says foul play.
Do you? I mean, he went into
his room alone. Never came out.
That's nothing out
of the ordinary.
Could've been drugged
somewhere else.
Yes, Sherlock.
That is possible.
Ed, we don't have anything
to back that up.
Well, Luis tells me this guy's
a real low-life.
Tell you what, why don't we
just track his whole stay here.
You know, maybe we find
somebody he ran into.
His whole stay? But he
checked in last Tuesday.
Yeah, and?
Well, that's...
Okay. Sure.
Who is Mike's friend? What?
She's cute.
Wow.
It's so great
seeing you, Michael.
You look just the same. Tall,
handsome, that great smile.
You, too.
So, how are
your parents doing?
Les and Gail are fine. They've
asked about you 100 times, of course.
I think you were
their favorite.
They have good taste.
So, what is it
you're doing these days?
Internet. I founded an on-line
tracking company in San Francisco.
And the stock went public
a few years ago.
So you're a big success.
Sounds like you got it all.
Well, not everything.
There is one thing
that's missing.
Hello, darling.
Hey.
Nina St. John,
this is Nessa Holt.
Mike has told me so much
about you. It's a pleasure.
So, you two went to college
together. That's so cute.
So, you two are a couple?
Well, for quite
a while now.
Oh, he's great. But I don't
need to tell you that, do I?
No, you don't.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
interrupt your little reunion.
I wanted to remind this one about
dinner tonight. 9:00, my place.
I'm cooking your favorite.
I wouldn't miss it.
Nice to meet you, Nessa.
Oh, you, too.
Bye.
Wow, what a woman.
What a woman.
Nina, I would love to sit
and chat some more...
but I am late for a meeting.
Well, maybe we could have
dinner. Oh, right...
you have dinner
plans tonight. Yeah.
How about coffee tomorrow
morning? 9:00 a. M?
Yeah, I could probably
do that. Yeah.
Day number two of his stay, Greco
left his room at 9:44 a. M...
went straight to Cup-A Jo's
for a cup of coffee...
which is where he ran into
you. Stayed there for a while.
Read the paper. Then went
out to play some roulette...
for about an hour or so
early in the afternoon...
but never talked to anybody
other than the dealer.
After that, he went
to the spa, from 3:00 to 4:15.
After that,
he went out the main doors.
He said something
about going sightseeing.
Now he comes back in
the hotel, 7:45.
He plays the slots from
7:50 to 8:22.
Wait a minute. I got him having
a drink at the Bella Sera at 8:10.
Well, that makes
no sense.
No. Mitch, throw both these
images up on the split screen.
You got it.
We've got two Peter Grecos.
They do look a lot alike.
I'm gonna run facial
recognition on both of them.
I lost Scott Steindorff.
What do you mean,
you lost him?
He fired me.
There was this loose hair.
And he shuddered. He's
probably packing as we speak.
That's a bummer.
You have really
good people skills.
Thank you.
You always smell nice.
I try.
You have good skin.
Genetics.
And you're bald.
Really?
You could fill in for me. He was
only freaked out about the hair.
See, he thought it was my hair.
I know my... It doesn't matter.
If Steindorff leaves,
we lose $10,000 a hand...
not to mention
96 booked rooms.
You want me to be
his casino host? Yes.
Sam, I wouldn't know
what to say.
Yes, you would. You have the fancy
degree. You're gonna be great.
Oh, and then
I'll owe you one.
Hey. I heard about
the hair. I am sorry.
No. No, it...
But listen.
What about them?
Those three women over there,
they've been on a roll all day.
I heard they're up oodles.
Define oodles.
Six figures.
Good enough.
Okay. Wait.
The one in the red
is Mike's college girlfriend.
He's trying to win her back.
How does that help me?
Oh, I can work with that.
Come on, Debbie. I need
a new house. Okay. Blow.
Come on. I need a new house,
girl.
Eleven!
Congratulations.
Thanks.
I'm Samantha Marquez.
I'm a host here at the casino.
A host? There's a casino host...
talking to us.
Yeah, I heard.
Listen, any friend of Mike
Cannon's is a friend of mine.
So, please don't hesitate
to ask if you need anything.
I like the sound of that.
You know Mike?
Well, of course.
Everybody in Vegas knows Mike.
He's so hot, funny, and smart.
Ms. Marquez is very apologetic
about the unfortunate...
transgression that took place
earlier at the blackjack table.
And she completely understands
if you no longer want her...
to be your casino host.
But since you are here...
you have this nice suite, a whole
disinfected floor, in fact...
maybe I can be of assistance
from this point forward.
You're a host? Well,
technically, I'm in surveillance.
But the heavy lifting's done,
all right? So, how hard can it be?
I'll tell you what will
get me to stay here.
The one who cleaned
this room...
Jenny, I think her name was.
Jenny.
Yeah. Used a magnetic cloth.
Lots of spirit.
You want maid service?
No, I want her to be my host.
With all due respect, Jenny doesn't
know how to be a casino host.
Yeah. Well, neither do you.
Now, Mr. Cannon...
I appreciate your efforts,
and your devout attention...
to flossing,
but unless you can tell me...
that Jenny is going to be my new
host, I'm walking out of here.
You decide.
Then it's settled.
Jenny's your casino host.
So, tell me what a
casino host really does?
Like for us? You mean
things that are legal?
Funny. I can pretty
much do anything.
I can get you into any club
or restaurant in town.
I can bump you up to a suite.
I can get you front row
center seats to any show.
Sounds good. Let's go out.
Now? What about our streak?
I think we should quit
while we're ahead.
Craps.
Your friend's smart.
You should listen to her.
Come on, we've been at this
table for over 12 hours.
Okay. There is this club
I heard about.
You're coming with us,
right?
No. But I'll hook
you girls up.
Come on, you're our host.
What kind of host doesn't come
to the party?
All right. I'll come
for a few minutes.
All right. And invite them.
Whoa. Those girls are hot.
I get the blonde.
Did I do something wrong?
It's about Mr. Steindorff.
What about him? He'd like
for you to be his casino host.
Just for tonight. What? I
don't know anything about that.
Well, it's really
important to us.
And, you can make
some pretty good money.
Yeah, good money
for one night.
If it's so important to you how
about a raise on my everyday job?
I'm sure that can be
arranged.
And I want a top locker.
Sylvie got one last week and I've
been here three months longer.
You're quite the negotiator.
Anything else?
How about a new dress? I can't
wear this if I'm a casino host.
I'll call Estelle at the
boutique. She'll set you up.
Deal.
It was so sweet of
you guys to invite us.
The more the merrier.
More champagne for everybody.
Yeah.
Yes.
Thank you. These are
great. Are these amethyst?
I love your necklace.
We haven't had a girls' night
out like this in forever.
No, trust me. We have not.
Please. If there were men
in this car...
we'd probably end up
at the tractor pull.
Or the boat show.
Yeah.
No conversation. Nachos for
dinner. Then he has the nerve...
to think I'm so grateful that
I'm going to sleep with him.
What is that all about?
Food, machinery, and sex.
Men are simple.
Where's the challenge in that?
I want complexity.
I want to peel the onion. I'll
tell you where the challenge is.
Getting them to commit, which
I have finally given up on.
Cheers to that.
Amen, sister.
I knew you went to the same
church. Didn't I tell you?
Oh, me? Oh, no, I haven't been
to church in years.
You know, except like
for Christmas, of course.
Mary, I think she's talking
about all of us being gay.
You know, "same church. "
Mary?
Oh.
Mary? Will you help me
pour the champagne over here?
Sure.
You want some more champagne?
That'd be great.
More champagne over here.
You could have told us.
Yeah. You could
have told us.
So what? They're lesbians.
They're perfect gentlemen. Besides,
they were on a winning streak...
with no end in sight.
I had to figure out a way...
to get them away
from the table.
Okay, so if it comes down to it,
I get the one in the gold top.
The guy at the Bella Sera
is Peter Albert Greco.
The guy at the slot machines
is Richard Jones.
So if Richard Jones checked
in using his real name...
why would he go
to all of the trouble...
of pretending to be
someone else...
when he killed himself?
He wouldn't.
Greco stole his identity.
Then he killed him.
Love your work.
Wow. She's really,
really talented, huh?
So most of these strippers
are gay?
Are you kidding me?
These men throwing their money away,
like idiots, thinking that these girls...
actually want to be polishing
their belt buckles with their asses.
It's enough to turn
any girl into a lesbian.
Aren't we throwing
our money away, too?
Yeah. Damn it, Sam.
I'm out of fives.
What are you crying about?
I'm not the freaking bank.
I'm gonna cut you
off after this.
Deb's been gone
a really long time.
Do you think she's okay?
She looks okay to me.
I've never had a lap dance.
D, I know you've had...
a boyfriend who took
you to a strip club...
and gave you a lap dance hoping
to make you crave a three-way.
No.
No?
I did once.
Didn't work.
Everyone deserves one lap
dance in their lifetime.
Where's the champagne?
Let's go, girlies.
No, no. I'm cool.
You're coming.
Come on. Come on.
Thanks.
All right. You stay here
with your friends.
Just the man
I was looking for.
Hey, Nessa.
How's the Nina thing going?
Oh, you know, it's going.
Failing miserably, huh?
Oh, no.
You don't understand. See, first a
man's gotta work his magic recipe.
Oh.
You mix in the secret
herbs and spices.
And you gotta give it
some time. Let it simmer.
Percolate. You know? Then it
starts to sink into the bone.
Right. Clearly this cooking
analogy isn't getting you very far.
You know, Nessa, when we were
back in Bella Sera...
doing that whole me, you kissing
thing. And then there was...
that second me, you kissing
thing, which was longer...
and a lot wetter.
You mean when I slipped
you the tongue?
Yeah. That's what I'm talking
about. I know this may sound crazy...
but it didn't feel like you
were just helping out a friend.
Maybe that's not all it was.
So you weren't faking it?
Why do men always think
that women are faking it?
Because you can.
Okay, so what...
I just happened to run
into you in the hallway...
hundreds of yards
from the casino floor?
Mike, it's obvious
you felt it, too.
Helping you out with Nina was the
perfect way for me to make a move...
without it seeming like
I was making a move.
Oh. See, I knew you weren't
faking it. And, I...
Wait. I am all confused
and tingly...
in places. What about Nina?
I talked to Nina.
You can have us both.
Really?
In your dreams.
Psych.
That's a good one there, Ness.
Yeah. You got me.
Richard Jones was a successful
investor in Cincinnati.
He had great credit, big
savings account. No record.
And no family either.
Perfect identity-theft victim.
Perfect any-kind-of-victim.
He wasn't even
reported missing.
So Greco stumbles across
Richard Jones...
notices they look alike,
right?
Right.
Targets him. Kills him...
assumes his identity,
then erases his own.
We can assume that Greco
doses Jones' food or drink.
And then lifts his wallet.
It didn't happen here.
We would have seen that on
the surveillance tape, right?
Okay. So the guy comes back
to the hotel...
he's unaware, goes up to
his room. Takes a little nap.
Turns out to be the big sleep.
Greco could be
anywhere by now.
Hi.
Hey.
So, do you think
I should hit or stay?
I don't really care.
Twenty-one.
Yeah.
You're my lucky charm, Jenny.
Yeah.
You sure
you don't want to play?
Oh, no. I work hard
for my money.
I can't afford to risk losing
it. So, you live in Vegas...
but you don't gamble? Gambling
isn't just frivolous...
it's downright obscene. And
how is everything going here?
I'd rather be home, but I can
certainly use the extra cash.
See, this is what
I like about her.
You just say what you think.
It's very refreshing.
Well, that's no wonder.
You probably have a boardroom
full of suck-ups working for you.
There you go.
I'm Delinda.
I'm delighted.
Richard Jones.
Richard Jones?
So, Delinda,
if you don't work here...
then I have to assume you're
another kind of working girl.
Am I right? No, I'm
just out with friends.
At a strip club?
Yeah, they're gay.
Oh.
You're gonna break my heart
if you tell me you're a lesbo.
No.
I'm so, so sorry.
That's okay. That's okay.
I'll get you another one.
Thanks. I'm gonna run to the
ladies' room. Be right back.
I got that from the cab
driver. Oh, yeah. Cool.
I rechecked all the footage. Greco
and Jones never came in contact.
He was probably casing the guy.
Making sure he hasn't got any company.
Where you going, home?
No.
Jillian made a reservation at that
Chinese place over at the Venetian.
Well, have fun. Well, you, too.
Whatever it is you're doing.
This is Ed Deline.
Eave me a message...
and I'll get back to you
as soon as I can. Thank you.
Daddy, it's me. Please don't be
mad, but I know where Peter Greco is.
He's at the Spearmint Rhino.
You need to call the police right away.
I'll keep him here as long as I can... Help!
Thank you, God.
Oh, my head.
Oh, my God, I know.
Did you...
Hi.
Hello.
You don't think
that something happened?
I can't remember. So I'm gonna go
with wishful thinking and say no.
Well, thanks. Thanks a lot.
Well, hello,
Sam, we're friends.
And PS, neither of us is gay.
Right?
Well, I mean, I like to think that
you fall for the person, not the sex.
Sam, it's Ed. Open up.
Hi.
You're all here.
I called up here and
nobody answered. Why?
Am I the only one working
up here? Where's Delinda?
Delinda didn't come
back with us.
But I'm sure she's okay.
No, she is not okay.
She left me a message
on my cell last night...
but I left the damn thing
on the desk. Now where is she?
I don't... She was talking
to that hot guy.
Come on. Come on.
I assumed they hit it off...
and she left with him.
With him. Is this him?
Yeah, that's him.
Let me out of here!
Shut up!
You freak!
Shut the hell up!
Shut up!
My father's gonna
kick your ass!
So, if you're a lesbian...
does that mean
I was your beard?
This wasn't something
I knew back in college.
You know, it happened later.
It just felt more right.
You know, it's like the
difference between color...
and black and white.
Well, I got news for you.
The classics are
in black and white.
So you're not upset?
No. It's a relief actually.
All this time, I thought...
maybe you found
a better apple.
Now I know you wanted an orange instead.
So, I can't be blaming me for that...
unless I made you gay.
Did I make you gay, Nina?
Nobody makes anybody gay.
Well, I'll need a notarized
letter saying as such.
I got a buddy, Danny, who's gonna
give me so much grief about this.
I'll be happy to explain
it to him. And maybe...
you could do me
a favor in return?
Yeah.
Yeah, I've been thinking about
this ever since yesterday...
when I first saw you.
What's that?
Remember in the bar, when I
said I had almost everything?
I want a baby.
You're not thinking
what I think you're thinking?
Oh, I think I am.
Please. Come on. Please!
Greco used Jones' credit card
at a gas station near Barstow...
about 20 minutes ago.
Did anybody see
Delinda with him? No.
The APB's been issued.
William Five. Copy your 10-7.
Request on your code
has been put through.
Yes, come on.
This is Victor Nine. I'm in
pursuit of a late model Regal.
Nevada license plate number
B- L-B-2-6-3.
You wanna run that for me?
All right, I got it.
Greco's car's been spotted.
The Highway Patrol's in pursuit.
Thank God. Let's take
Steindorff's helicopter.
Wait a minute, Ed.
You can't just take that.
Are you kidding me?
Screw you. Arrest me.
Pull over! I repeat,
pull over!
Yes.
Victor Nine, please
proceed with caution.
Suspect is Peter Albert Greco, wanted
for questioning by as Vegas Metro.
Let me out of here!
Mr. Steindorff, sir.
Hi.
Oh, hi. I'm so sorry.
I did see...
the maid service sign on the
door, but I didn't know...
I didn't realize it was this
kind of maid service going on.
No. It's quite all right. I plan
to shout it from the rooftops.
Great. Well, it's funny that
you mention rooftops, sir.
Because the president
of our hotel...
he has a bit of an emergency.
And he was just wondering if...
it was okay if he just
borrowed your helicopter?
Sam, I heard it take off
five minutes ago.
Which is why I'm hoping
you'll just say yes.
Oh, it's okay. Scott and I aren't
taking off until late this afternoon.
Scott and I. Got it. Okay.
I'm sorry. Can I just ask you
why you're wearing the hairnets?
No, it doesn't matter.
Richard Jones, I don't know
what you were running from.
I was just gonna tell you
your taillights were out.
What the...
He's not Richard Jones. His
name is Peter Greco...
and he has a record. She's
lying. She's just pissed at me.
The woman you had locked
in your trunk is lying?
Yeah.
Call Luis Perez...
at the Las Vegas
Police Department.
He'll tell you. You shut
your mouth, you blonde bitch.
You shut up! You need lessons
on how to treat a lady.
It's a lover's quarrel.
He kidnapped me.
She's getting back at me.
He murdered the real...
Richard Jones back in Vegas.
You know how it is, man.
He's a liar.
All right!
So she's just trying
to get back at you.
And he's a murderer, a kidnapper,
and a liar. Anything else?
One more thing.
I think we should take
a ride back to my station.
Thanks, but I already
have a ride.
Yeah.
Hey, good-looking.
Delinda's okay.
I didn't know she wasn't okay.
Well, it all happened
so fast...
but she and Ed
are on their way back.
What happened?
I'll tell you about it later.
I have to talk to you
about Nina.
She's a lesbian. I know.
She told me at breakfast.
So why are you so happy? Nina
asked me to father her baby.
She thinks that I am
the ultimate male specimen.
You're kidding?
No, I'm not kidding.
You might as well pick a man who
gives you the whole package...
flawless genetics, MIT
graduate, gifted athlete...
as we know, personality plus.
Don't forget this ass.
Did you say yes? I gotta
give her an answer soon.
But one last little interlude
does sound tempting.
I think the definition of
lesbian is no sex with men.
This isn't just sex.
It's creating life.
And you didn't see...
the way she looked at me.
Put her hand on mine.
So, you're saying yes?
Well, if not for you,
then for the world.
I mean, think what kind of
offspring the two of us will produce.
It'll be like the beginning
of a new master race.
Oh. So we can hook up
whenever you're ready.
You know, I'm secure
in that...
because while you might be emotionally
more attracted to the ladies...
you can't deny the physical
chemistry we've always had.
Michael... I guess
some things, you know...
transcend gender labels.
You know what? I'm sorry.
I should have
been more clear.
See my partner, Pam...
she's the one who's actually
going to carry the baby.
Oh. She doesn't
really like Vegas...
so she didn't come. But I convinced
her to fly in and meet you.
She's coming here?
Yeah.
Oh, look. There she is. Pam!
She's never been with a man,
so it's probably better...
to do intrauterine
insemination.
Yeah, much.
Hey.
Hey, Ed can't make it,
but he sent this.
No champagne for me ever.
How did the three of you end
up at the strip joint together?
You really want to know?
Yeah. Give it up. Every detail.
Listen. That's not important.
The important thing
is the murder...
never would have been solved
if it wasn't for our Delinda.
Thanks, Mike.
Okay. Since you're dying to know,
the high rollers are lesbians.
Including Mike's ex-bird.
Yep.
Whoa, you turned a girl gay?
I didn't turn her gay.
Yeah, you did.
And I have a letter from her
to back that up.
Whoa.
Wait.
Did you say yes?
Yes to what?
She wants his sperm.
What?
No.
Oh, my God.
And?
And, I've decided
I'm saving...
my boys for the
girl of my dreams.
Good.
Unless you turn her gay,
too. You get three...
then I start whupping
your ass.
Hey, I want to make a toast
to Delinda.
We're glad you're safe.
We're glad you're back.
And I'm glad I've never given you
a reason to kick me in the sack.
Ditto on that, sir.
Cheers.
My man. To Delinda.
To Delinda.
Cheers to Mike's sperm.
Mike's sperm.
Mike's sperm.
tiger show?
No, not yet.
I can't believe it.
What's wrong?
The sister girl in the red
blazer. Name's Nina St. John.
She's beautiful. Do you know
her? She's my college sweetheart.
The one who got away.
The one all other women
are measured against.
Wow.
Wait. Aren't you
going to say hello?
Oh, no. I thought maybe
I'd go and throw up.
All right.
Are you a man or a wimp?
Go and talk to her.
Well, I'm pretty sure
she doesn't want to see me.
Come on, you're older, wiser.
Abs of steel.
You may even be able
to win her back.
You really think
I could get her back?
She isn't with anybody.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
Okay. Come on Jay Jackson
from Oregon.
Go, baby.
It's your lucky day.
Oh, my God,
Michael Cannon. Hi.
You look great, Nina.
You, too. Wow.
These are my friends Debbie
and Rhona. How's it going?
Hi, Michael.
Hello.
So, you staying here?
Actually, I work here.
In Surveillance and Security.
Wow.
Okay, I haven't seen an
odd number since daybreak.
I'm going with five, nine...
Well, I just wanted to say hi.
I'll let you get back.
I'm sorry. We're just
on such a roll here.
Well, why don't we grab
a drink later? Sure.
Nine.
Unbelievable.
You owe me $864.
What?
You order a round of drinks
for the house, you pay for them.
House rule.
Look, I was just trying...
to get laid last night.
Make this chick think
that I was loaded.
Yeah. Doesn't look like
your plan worked.
Which is why I didn't pay.
I didn't get what I was paying for.
Anyway, what's the Montecito make a year?
Like $18 billion? So what's
a round of drinks to you guys?
It's theft, Frank.
Theft.
So either you find a way to
pay or... I can't. I can't pay.
I blew all my cash
down at the tables.
Well, then it's going on your room charge.
And if you can't find a way to pay...
Well, I know you're not that
dumb. You'll find a way to pay.
Vegas sucks, man.
Well.
Okay.
Sam, it's nice.
Could you just take the earrings
out for me? Okay, thanks.
Jenny, excellent. Lanie, good.
Could I check the nails?
Trim those, please.
Sam seems really nervous.
Must be one big whale.
Yep. Flies in by helicopter,
rents out the whole seventh floor.
You're kidding me, right?
Go shave. Now.
Unbelievable. Nice.
Maybe it's the President.
No. The whole place would be
swarming with Secret Service.
My money's on Prince William.
Ha, you wish.
Yes, I do.
Yeah, you do.
You're both way off. The high
roller's name is Scott Steindorff.
Scott Steindorff. I've never
heard of him. Me, neither.
The guy's some
kind of real estate tycoon.
Pretty much owns Scottsdale.
He's also a germaphobe.
Turned the whole seventh floor
into one big sterilized room.
Well, Vegas wouldn't be
Vegas without the freak show.
You gotta give the guy an A for
effort. I give him an A for ass.
Are you turning
into a man-hater, Delinda?
Not at all. At least three out
of 100 are tolerable.
Who's the last guy you
found tolerable? Besides you?
What's wrong? Whoa.
What is that smell?
Hotel Security,
are you there?
You wait here.
Okay.
Oh, damn.
God.
Oh, my God. That's him.
Who?
The last guy I met
who wasn't a jerk.
Lot of good that did him.
I'm gonna puke.
You got it. Let's put him up.
So, who is the guy? Well,
according to this note...
and the prescription bottle here in
the satchel, the name is Peter Greco.
Checked in four days ago under
the alias, Richard Jones.
I met him in Cup-A Jo's
and we talked about music.
He didn't seem suicidal.
Greco had some outstanding
warrants and a lot of debt.
Not anymore he hasn't.
Maybe this was the
easy way out. Yeah.
Daddy, he seemed
sort of happy.
Well, when
you met him, honey...
but a lot of times the world sees one
thing and the truth is something else.
Danny have the hall secured?
Yeah.
You got a clear shot to the freight
elevator, shouldn't run into any guests.
Nessa.
Nina wants
to have a drink.
Well, that's promising,
right?
Well, she broke up with me because
she thought she can do better.
It's a pity drink. No. I
didn't see a wedding ring.
And I'm sure
you've checked the registry.
Last name's still St. John,
but she could be...
But nothing.
The woman's still up for grabs, which
means she's yours for the taking.
And I can help you get her.
How?
All right. Rule Number 1:
Women are attracted to men
who are taken.
So from this moment on,
you have me.
Okay. I'm liking this plan.
What's Rule Number 2?
When you're having the drink,
talk about anything...
her parents, her career,
her favorite color.
But do not ask her
about relationships.
You don't care, you've moved
on. You're not invested.
It's blue. Her favorite color.
Cerulean blue, actually.
Quit being such a woman.
Be forgetful, distracted,
detached. That's what you men do.
And you women find
that attractive?
Yeah, for some reason
we love that. All right.
The last rule is
walk away first.
That, my good friend,
is the power move.
When your glass is almost
empty, check your watch...
and get
the hell out of there.
You're a very busy man.
Busy's hot?
Hot! Trust me.
I think you'll find everything to
your satisfaction, Mr. Steindorff.
Did you just sniffle?
Absolutely not.
Whatever happened at the
Bellagio, I assure you...
it will not be happening here
at the Montecito.
I don't want to talk about the
Bellagio. Forget I mentioned it.
Mr. Steindorff?
We have a new mattress for you
sir. New pillows, towels, linens.
All of the carpets have
been steam cleaned. Twice.
You know, people don't
realize how quickly...
dust mites
can consume a mattress.
Yes. Well, people are stupid,
sir.
They're filthy.
That's what they are.
There's no dust.
You certain? I use a
special magnetic cloth. See?
Yes, I do.
Do you know that most dust
isn't really dust at all?
Is that right? It's
primarily dead skin cells.
Hey, Daddy.
Hey, sweetie.
How you feeling?
Suspicious.
What's this?
Remember I told you
I talked to the dead guy?
Yeah. About music
or something. Yeah.
He wrote the name of a CD
he thought I'd like.
I found it in my purse.
A Brazil Chill double CD set.
Okay. I don't get it. I
remembered the suicide note...
and I had a flash.
I think the handwriting
on this is different.
Cops see this? No. I
just remembered I had it.
Daddy, you saw
the suicide note.
Don't you think these letters
are taller and neater?
I couldn't tell you.
Maybe we could get a copy
of the suicide note from Luis.
We could compare it.
New cards, new chips.
New felt, just for you.
Did you know that only
two people out of every 10...
wash their hands
after going to the bathroom?
Look around you.
Thousands of grubby little
hands, all pushing, pulling...
smearing.
That is a little disgusting.
Yeah.
The only thing better than
clean cards are lucky ones.
See, you and the Montecito
are meant to be.
You know, Samantha, I have
to say I am impressed.
You've impressed me.
Well, thank you, sir.
I just try to do my...
It's not just your preparatory work,
but I can see that you exfoliate.
Excuse me?
Yes, your skin.
Oh, my skin.
There's really no excuse...
for an oily t-zone, blemishes.
They're all just vivid symbols of
poor hygiene. But your skin is...
relatively flawless.
Oh, thank you.
Sir, can I get you a drink from
the bar? After I wash my hands...
with hot water, of course.
You know, studies have shown...
that hot water is no more
effective than cold water.
As long as you've got a
really good anti-bacterial...
That is...
Not mine.
Nice kitty.
Mary, why is there
a tiger in the hallway?
I don't know.
Shouldn't we do something?
You go on ahead.
I'm perfectly content
just standing here frozen.
Me, too.
Yeah.
There you are,
you naughty kitty.
Where have you been, my
naughty girl. Good girl. Yeah.
Where have you been, huh?
We've got a show to put on.
Oh. Sorry about that. Somebody
left the stage door open.
She must have just walked off.
Good. Come on. Let's go.
Time to go to work.
Good girl. Good. Come on.
Good tiger. Come on.
Good girl. Come on. Good.
I think I peed myself.
Yeah. Me, too.
Did you hear that Mike's college
sweetheart is here at the Montecito?
No. No, I didn't.
He's trying to win her back.
Oh, that's so sweet.
I'm helping him.
Great. That's great.
Hey.
Hey.
Who's this?
His name is Garvin Beckman.
He's a handwriting analyst.
What's he doing?
He's comparing Peter Greco's suicide
note to another writing sample.
Didn't the police rule
it a suicide?
Yeah, well, Delinda
had a hunch that it wasn't.
Delinda had a hunch.
You find that funny, do you?
Okay, I'm done here, Ed.
What do you got?
I think your daughter's right.
There's absolutely no way the
same guy wrote both these notes.
Good job, Delinda.
We have the late Peter Greco
going into his room...
for the last time at 8:07 p. m.
Coroner thought he died
between 10:00 and midnight...
drug overdose, right?
I don't see anything
that says foul play.
Do you? I mean, he went into
his room alone. Never came out.
That's nothing out
of the ordinary.
Could've been drugged
somewhere else.
Yes, Sherlock.
That is possible.
Ed, we don't have anything
to back that up.
Well, Luis tells me this guy's
a real low-life.
Tell you what, why don't we
just track his whole stay here.
You know, maybe we find
somebody he ran into.
His whole stay? But he
checked in last Tuesday.
Yeah, and?
Well, that's...
Okay. Sure.
Who is Mike's friend? What?
She's cute.
Wow.
It's so great
seeing you, Michael.
You look just the same. Tall,
handsome, that great smile.
You, too.
So, how are
your parents doing?
Les and Gail are fine. They've
asked about you 100 times, of course.
I think you were
their favorite.
They have good taste.
So, what is it
you're doing these days?
Internet. I founded an on-line
tracking company in San Francisco.
And the stock went public
a few years ago.
So you're a big success.
Sounds like you got it all.
Well, not everything.
There is one thing
that's missing.
Hello, darling.
Hey.
Nina St. John,
this is Nessa Holt.
Mike has told me so much
about you. It's a pleasure.
So, you two went to college
together. That's so cute.
So, you two are a couple?
Well, for quite
a while now.
Oh, he's great. But I don't
need to tell you that, do I?
No, you don't.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
interrupt your little reunion.
I wanted to remind this one about
dinner tonight. 9:00, my place.
I'm cooking your favorite.
I wouldn't miss it.
Nice to meet you, Nessa.
Oh, you, too.
Bye.
Wow, what a woman.
What a woman.
Nina, I would love to sit
and chat some more...
but I am late for a meeting.
Well, maybe we could have
dinner. Oh, right...
you have dinner
plans tonight. Yeah.
How about coffee tomorrow
morning? 9:00 a. M?
Yeah, I could probably
do that. Yeah.
Day number two of his stay, Greco
left his room at 9:44 a. M...
went straight to Cup-A Jo's
for a cup of coffee...
which is where he ran into
you. Stayed there for a while.
Read the paper. Then went
out to play some roulette...
for about an hour or so
early in the afternoon...
but never talked to anybody
other than the dealer.
After that, he went
to the spa, from 3:00 to 4:15.
After that,
he went out the main doors.
He said something
about going sightseeing.
Now he comes back in
the hotel, 7:45.
He plays the slots from
7:50 to 8:22.
Wait a minute. I got him having
a drink at the Bella Sera at 8:10.
Well, that makes
no sense.
No. Mitch, throw both these
images up on the split screen.
You got it.
We've got two Peter Grecos.
They do look a lot alike.
I'm gonna run facial
recognition on both of them.
I lost Scott Steindorff.
What do you mean,
you lost him?
He fired me.
There was this loose hair.
And he shuddered. He's
probably packing as we speak.
That's a bummer.
You have really
good people skills.
Thank you.
You always smell nice.
I try.
You have good skin.
Genetics.
And you're bald.
Really?
You could fill in for me. He was
only freaked out about the hair.
See, he thought it was my hair.
I know my... It doesn't matter.
If Steindorff leaves,
we lose $10,000 a hand...
not to mention
96 booked rooms.
You want me to be
his casino host? Yes.
Sam, I wouldn't know
what to say.
Yes, you would. You have the fancy
degree. You're gonna be great.
Oh, and then
I'll owe you one.
Hey. I heard about
the hair. I am sorry.
No. No, it...
But listen.
What about them?
Those three women over there,
they've been on a roll all day.
I heard they're up oodles.
Define oodles.
Six figures.
Good enough.
Okay. Wait.
The one in the red
is Mike's college girlfriend.
He's trying to win her back.
How does that help me?
Oh, I can work with that.
Come on, Debbie. I need
a new house. Okay. Blow.
Come on. I need a new house,
girl.
Eleven!
Congratulations.
Thanks.
I'm Samantha Marquez.
I'm a host here at the casino.
A host? There's a casino host...
talking to us.
Yeah, I heard.
Listen, any friend of Mike
Cannon's is a friend of mine.
So, please don't hesitate
to ask if you need anything.
I like the sound of that.
You know Mike?
Well, of course.
Everybody in Vegas knows Mike.
He's so hot, funny, and smart.
Ms. Marquez is very apologetic
about the unfortunate...
transgression that took place
earlier at the blackjack table.
And she completely understands
if you no longer want her...
to be your casino host.
But since you are here...
you have this nice suite, a whole
disinfected floor, in fact...
maybe I can be of assistance
from this point forward.
You're a host? Well,
technically, I'm in surveillance.
But the heavy lifting's done,
all right? So, how hard can it be?
I'll tell you what will
get me to stay here.
The one who cleaned
this room...
Jenny, I think her name was.
Jenny.
Yeah. Used a magnetic cloth.
Lots of spirit.
You want maid service?
No, I want her to be my host.
With all due respect, Jenny doesn't
know how to be a casino host.
Yeah. Well, neither do you.
Now, Mr. Cannon...
I appreciate your efforts,
and your devout attention...
to flossing,
but unless you can tell me...
that Jenny is going to be my new
host, I'm walking out of here.
You decide.
Then it's settled.
Jenny's your casino host.
So, tell me what a
casino host really does?
Like for us? You mean
things that are legal?
Funny. I can pretty
much do anything.
I can get you into any club
or restaurant in town.
I can bump you up to a suite.
I can get you front row
center seats to any show.
Sounds good. Let's go out.
Now? What about our streak?
I think we should quit
while we're ahead.
Craps.
Your friend's smart.
You should listen to her.
Come on, we've been at this
table for over 12 hours.
Okay. There is this club
I heard about.
You're coming with us,
right?
No. But I'll hook
you girls up.
Come on, you're our host.
What kind of host doesn't come
to the party?
All right. I'll come
for a few minutes.
All right. And invite them.
Whoa. Those girls are hot.
I get the blonde.
Did I do something wrong?
It's about Mr. Steindorff.
What about him? He'd like
for you to be his casino host.
Just for tonight. What? I
don't know anything about that.
Well, it's really
important to us.
And, you can make
some pretty good money.
Yeah, good money
for one night.
If it's so important to you how
about a raise on my everyday job?
I'm sure that can be
arranged.
And I want a top locker.
Sylvie got one last week and I've
been here three months longer.
You're quite the negotiator.
Anything else?
How about a new dress? I can't
wear this if I'm a casino host.
I'll call Estelle at the
boutique. She'll set you up.
Deal.
It was so sweet of
you guys to invite us.
The more the merrier.
More champagne for everybody.
Yeah.
Yes.
Thank you. These are
great. Are these amethyst?
I love your necklace.
We haven't had a girls' night
out like this in forever.
No, trust me. We have not.
Please. If there were men
in this car...
we'd probably end up
at the tractor pull.
Or the boat show.
Yeah.
No conversation. Nachos for
dinner. Then he has the nerve...
to think I'm so grateful that
I'm going to sleep with him.
What is that all about?
Food, machinery, and sex.
Men are simple.
Where's the challenge in that?
I want complexity.
I want to peel the onion. I'll
tell you where the challenge is.
Getting them to commit, which
I have finally given up on.
Cheers to that.
Amen, sister.
I knew you went to the same
church. Didn't I tell you?
Oh, me? Oh, no, I haven't been
to church in years.
You know, except like
for Christmas, of course.
Mary, I think she's talking
about all of us being gay.
You know, "same church. "
Mary?
Oh.
Mary? Will you help me
pour the champagne over here?
Sure.
You want some more champagne?
That'd be great.
More champagne over here.
You could have told us.
Yeah. You could
have told us.
So what? They're lesbians.
They're perfect gentlemen. Besides,
they were on a winning streak...
with no end in sight.
I had to figure out a way...
to get them away
from the table.
Okay, so if it comes down to it,
I get the one in the gold top.
The guy at the Bella Sera
is Peter Albert Greco.
The guy at the slot machines
is Richard Jones.
So if Richard Jones checked
in using his real name...
why would he go
to all of the trouble...
of pretending to be
someone else...
when he killed himself?
He wouldn't.
Greco stole his identity.
Then he killed him.
Love your work.
Wow. She's really,
really talented, huh?
So most of these strippers
are gay?
Are you kidding me?
These men throwing their money away,
like idiots, thinking that these girls...
actually want to be polishing
their belt buckles with their asses.
It's enough to turn
any girl into a lesbian.
Aren't we throwing
our money away, too?
Yeah. Damn it, Sam.
I'm out of fives.
What are you crying about?
I'm not the freaking bank.
I'm gonna cut you
off after this.
Deb's been gone
a really long time.
Do you think she's okay?
She looks okay to me.
I've never had a lap dance.
D, I know you've had...
a boyfriend who took
you to a strip club...
and gave you a lap dance hoping
to make you crave a three-way.
No.
No?
I did once.
Didn't work.
Everyone deserves one lap
dance in their lifetime.
Where's the champagne?
Let's go, girlies.
No, no. I'm cool.
You're coming.
Come on. Come on.
Thanks.
All right. You stay here
with your friends.
Just the man
I was looking for.
Hey, Nessa.
How's the Nina thing going?
Oh, you know, it's going.
Failing miserably, huh?
Oh, no.
You don't understand. See, first a
man's gotta work his magic recipe.
Oh.
You mix in the secret
herbs and spices.
And you gotta give it
some time. Let it simmer.
Percolate. You know? Then it
starts to sink into the bone.
Right. Clearly this cooking
analogy isn't getting you very far.
You know, Nessa, when we were
back in Bella Sera...
doing that whole me, you kissing
thing. And then there was...
that second me, you kissing
thing, which was longer...
and a lot wetter.
You mean when I slipped
you the tongue?
Yeah. That's what I'm talking
about. I know this may sound crazy...
but it didn't feel like you
were just helping out a friend.
Maybe that's not all it was.
So you weren't faking it?
Why do men always think
that women are faking it?
Because you can.
Okay, so what...
I just happened to run
into you in the hallway...
hundreds of yards
from the casino floor?
Mike, it's obvious
you felt it, too.
Helping you out with Nina was the
perfect way for me to make a move...
without it seeming like
I was making a move.
Oh. See, I knew you weren't
faking it. And, I...
Wait. I am all confused
and tingly...
in places. What about Nina?
I talked to Nina.
You can have us both.
Really?
In your dreams.
Psych.
That's a good one there, Ness.
Yeah. You got me.
Richard Jones was a successful
investor in Cincinnati.
He had great credit, big
savings account. No record.
And no family either.
Perfect identity-theft victim.
Perfect any-kind-of-victim.
He wasn't even
reported missing.
So Greco stumbles across
Richard Jones...
notices they look alike,
right?
Right.
Targets him. Kills him...
assumes his identity,
then erases his own.
We can assume that Greco
doses Jones' food or drink.
And then lifts his wallet.
It didn't happen here.
We would have seen that on
the surveillance tape, right?
Okay. So the guy comes back
to the hotel...
he's unaware, goes up to
his room. Takes a little nap.
Turns out to be the big sleep.
Greco could be
anywhere by now.
Hi.
Hey.
So, do you think
I should hit or stay?
I don't really care.
Twenty-one.
Yeah.
You're my lucky charm, Jenny.
Yeah.
You sure
you don't want to play?
Oh, no. I work hard
for my money.
I can't afford to risk losing
it. So, you live in Vegas...
but you don't gamble? Gambling
isn't just frivolous...
it's downright obscene. And
how is everything going here?
I'd rather be home, but I can
certainly use the extra cash.
See, this is what
I like about her.
You just say what you think.
It's very refreshing.
Well, that's no wonder.
You probably have a boardroom
full of suck-ups working for you.
There you go.
I'm Delinda.
I'm delighted.
Richard Jones.
Richard Jones?
So, Delinda,
if you don't work here...
then I have to assume you're
another kind of working girl.
Am I right? No, I'm
just out with friends.
At a strip club?
Yeah, they're gay.
Oh.
You're gonna break my heart
if you tell me you're a lesbo.
No.
I'm so, so sorry.
That's okay. That's okay.
I'll get you another one.
Thanks. I'm gonna run to the
ladies' room. Be right back.
I got that from the cab
driver. Oh, yeah. Cool.
I rechecked all the footage. Greco
and Jones never came in contact.
He was probably casing the guy.
Making sure he hasn't got any company.
Where you going, home?
No.
Jillian made a reservation at that
Chinese place over at the Venetian.
Well, have fun. Well, you, too.
Whatever it is you're doing.
This is Ed Deline.
Eave me a message...
and I'll get back to you
as soon as I can. Thank you.
Daddy, it's me. Please don't be
mad, but I know where Peter Greco is.
He's at the Spearmint Rhino.
You need to call the police right away.
I'll keep him here as long as I can... Help!
Thank you, God.
Oh, my head.
Oh, my God, I know.
Did you...
Hi.
Hello.
You don't think
that something happened?
I can't remember. So I'm gonna go
with wishful thinking and say no.
Well, thanks. Thanks a lot.
Well, hello,
Sam, we're friends.
And PS, neither of us is gay.
Right?
Well, I mean, I like to think that
you fall for the person, not the sex.
Sam, it's Ed. Open up.
Hi.
You're all here.
I called up here and
nobody answered. Why?
Am I the only one working
up here? Where's Delinda?
Delinda didn't come
back with us.
But I'm sure she's okay.
No, she is not okay.
She left me a message
on my cell last night...
but I left the damn thing
on the desk. Now where is she?
I don't... She was talking
to that hot guy.
Come on. Come on.
I assumed they hit it off...
and she left with him.
With him. Is this him?
Yeah, that's him.
Let me out of here!
Shut up!
You freak!
Shut the hell up!
Shut up!
My father's gonna
kick your ass!
So, if you're a lesbian...
does that mean
I was your beard?
This wasn't something
I knew back in college.
You know, it happened later.
It just felt more right.
You know, it's like the
difference between color...
and black and white.
Well, I got news for you.
The classics are
in black and white.
So you're not upset?
No. It's a relief actually.
All this time, I thought...
maybe you found
a better apple.
Now I know you wanted an orange instead.
So, I can't be blaming me for that...
unless I made you gay.
Did I make you gay, Nina?
Nobody makes anybody gay.
Well, I'll need a notarized
letter saying as such.
I got a buddy, Danny, who's gonna
give me so much grief about this.
I'll be happy to explain
it to him. And maybe...
you could do me
a favor in return?
Yeah.
Yeah, I've been thinking about
this ever since yesterday...
when I first saw you.
What's that?
Remember in the bar, when I
said I had almost everything?
I want a baby.
You're not thinking
what I think you're thinking?
Oh, I think I am.
Please. Come on. Please!
Greco used Jones' credit card
at a gas station near Barstow...
about 20 minutes ago.
Did anybody see
Delinda with him? No.
The APB's been issued.
William Five. Copy your 10-7.
Request on your code
has been put through.
Yes, come on.
This is Victor Nine. I'm in
pursuit of a late model Regal.
Nevada license plate number
B- L-B-2-6-3.
You wanna run that for me?
All right, I got it.
Greco's car's been spotted.
The Highway Patrol's in pursuit.
Thank God. Let's take
Steindorff's helicopter.
Wait a minute, Ed.
You can't just take that.
Are you kidding me?
Screw you. Arrest me.
Pull over! I repeat,
pull over!
Yes.
Victor Nine, please
proceed with caution.
Suspect is Peter Albert Greco, wanted
for questioning by as Vegas Metro.
Let me out of here!
Mr. Steindorff, sir.
Hi.
Oh, hi. I'm so sorry.
I did see...
the maid service sign on the
door, but I didn't know...
I didn't realize it was this
kind of maid service going on.
No. It's quite all right. I plan
to shout it from the rooftops.
Great. Well, it's funny that
you mention rooftops, sir.
Because the president
of our hotel...
he has a bit of an emergency.
And he was just wondering if...
it was okay if he just
borrowed your helicopter?
Sam, I heard it take off
five minutes ago.
Which is why I'm hoping
you'll just say yes.
Oh, it's okay. Scott and I aren't
taking off until late this afternoon.
Scott and I. Got it. Okay.
I'm sorry. Can I just ask you
why you're wearing the hairnets?
No, it doesn't matter.
Richard Jones, I don't know
what you were running from.
I was just gonna tell you
your taillights were out.
What the...
He's not Richard Jones. His
name is Peter Greco...
and he has a record. She's
lying. She's just pissed at me.
The woman you had locked
in your trunk is lying?
Yeah.
Call Luis Perez...
at the Las Vegas
Police Department.
He'll tell you. You shut
your mouth, you blonde bitch.
You shut up! You need lessons
on how to treat a lady.
It's a lover's quarrel.
He kidnapped me.
She's getting back at me.
He murdered the real...
Richard Jones back in Vegas.
You know how it is, man.
He's a liar.
All right!
So she's just trying
to get back at you.
And he's a murderer, a kidnapper,
and a liar. Anything else?
One more thing.
I think we should take
a ride back to my station.
Thanks, but I already
have a ride.
Yeah.
Hey, good-looking.
Delinda's okay.
I didn't know she wasn't okay.
Well, it all happened
so fast...
but she and Ed
are on their way back.
What happened?
I'll tell you about it later.
I have to talk to you
about Nina.
She's a lesbian. I know.
She told me at breakfast.
So why are you so happy? Nina
asked me to father her baby.
She thinks that I am
the ultimate male specimen.
You're kidding?
No, I'm not kidding.
You might as well pick a man who
gives you the whole package...
flawless genetics, MIT
graduate, gifted athlete...
as we know, personality plus.
Don't forget this ass.
Did you say yes? I gotta
give her an answer soon.
But one last little interlude
does sound tempting.
I think the definition of
lesbian is no sex with men.
This isn't just sex.
It's creating life.
And you didn't see...
the way she looked at me.
Put her hand on mine.
So, you're saying yes?
Well, if not for you,
then for the world.
I mean, think what kind of
offspring the two of us will produce.
It'll be like the beginning
of a new master race.
Oh. So we can hook up
whenever you're ready.
You know, I'm secure
in that...
because while you might be emotionally
more attracted to the ladies...
you can't deny the physical
chemistry we've always had.
Michael... I guess
some things, you know...
transcend gender labels.
You know what? I'm sorry.
I should have
been more clear.
See my partner, Pam...
she's the one who's actually
going to carry the baby.
Oh. She doesn't
really like Vegas...
so she didn't come. But I convinced
her to fly in and meet you.
She's coming here?
Yeah.
Oh, look. There she is. Pam!
She's never been with a man,
so it's probably better...
to do intrauterine
insemination.
Yeah, much.
Hey.
Hey, Ed can't make it,
but he sent this.
No champagne for me ever.
How did the three of you end
up at the strip joint together?
You really want to know?
Yeah. Give it up. Every detail.
Listen. That's not important.
The important thing
is the murder...
never would have been solved
if it wasn't for our Delinda.
Thanks, Mike.
Okay. Since you're dying to know,
the high rollers are lesbians.
Including Mike's ex-bird.
Yep.
Whoa, you turned a girl gay?
I didn't turn her gay.
Yeah, you did.
And I have a letter from her
to back that up.
Whoa.
Wait.
Did you say yes?
Yes to what?
She wants his sperm.
What?
No.
Oh, my God.
And?
And, I've decided
I'm saving...
my boys for the
girl of my dreams.
Good.
Unless you turn her gay,
too. You get three...
then I start whupping
your ass.
Hey, I want to make a toast
to Delinda.
We're glad you're safe.
We're glad you're back.
And I'm glad I've never given you
a reason to kick me in the sack.
Ditto on that, sir.
Cheers.
My man. To Delinda.
To Delinda.
Cheers to Mike's sperm.
Mike's sperm.
Mike's sperm.