Las Vegas (2003–2008): Season 2, Episode 12 - When You Got to Go, You Got to Go - full transcript
Danny is called -in bed- with a ransom demand of $213,000 and wakes Mike; they have strict instructs never to give in. Ed is indeed kidnapped, and handcuffed in a bathtub by burly Brian Carlton Venturi, who expected to be remembered after getting fired three years ago, which ruined his life and cost him access to his daughter. Some crafty searching gets them close while Ed's attempt to negotiate or escape prove painful... Meanwhile an impulsive gambler accepts to marry just for the rings he believes to bring him luck, only to loose them in a fight between divorced owners of rival Elvis wedding chapels...
The other half
if you please, my man.
I believe that's
seven straight. How do you
beat that, Billy Murphy?
Can't beat that with a stick,
Samantha Jane.
Set a date yet?
I'm working on a plan.
It's good to have a plan.
Right, what's with this whole
"I heart" thing?
Well, it's just the
natural progression
of the whole "I love" thing.
Hence,
"I Heart Duran Duran Weekend."
I think it's cheesy
and it bugs
the hell out of me.
Which is exactly why
we're gonna keep saying it.
Like, I heart a big butt.
Yeah, I heart another drink.
I heart it, too. It's cute.
I think you two like it
because of the whole
Duran Duran thing.
Yeah, I heard that
their new album is supposed
to be pretty awesome.
Yeah, I heard that, too.
Don't change the subject.
That's right, didn't you two
see Duran Duran together
back in the day?
That's right. I seem
to remember some talk about
a high school adventure...
that culminated in
some post concert shenanigans.
I'd heart to hear
all about it.
Me, too.
I'd heart to hear
all about it.
Hello, boys and girls.
Good night, boss.
Good night. You guys all set
for Divine Divine?
Duran Duran. Yeah.
I knew there was no last name.
All set.
Oh, my God.
Here you are.
I thought you'd never come.
Danny, you see that guy
over there?
Don't look.
Yeah, okay.
Just pick up his tab.
Give him anything he wants.
Anything, okay?
Who is he?
It's Frank, the repairman.
We're comping a repairman?
Never mind. Just do it, okay?
Okay.
Darn it. Tell him
I'm real late
for this Steve Wynn thing.
And just tell him
I'll be right back. Okay?
Okay.
Don't forget.
Okay, I won't.
All right,
have a great time, okay?
Bye, Daddy.
Bye, boss.
Hey, Ed. We heart you.
What's that?
We heart you.
Breathe wrong and you're dead.
I don't know what you want...
but this is definitely
not the way to get it.
Shut up. Polanti.
I hear these keep
pretty good time.
Yeah.
I wouldn't know.
I got a Swatch.
Hey, look man,
if you're with the Company...
Company?
I haven't worked
in three years.
I just want what I'm owed.
Nothing more.
I owe you something?
I don't know
who the hell you are.
What the hell.
It's not gonna matter, anyway.
Yeah, so?
So.
You fired me.
I fired you?
I just told you I have no idea
who the hell you are.
You run the place.
I hold you responsible.
You're a wacko, man.
Shut up.
I just want what I'm owed.
You listen to me,
you ugly ass punk.
You make sure you kill me,
you hear me?
'Cause if you don't...
I swear to God on my mother,
I'll kill you.
Yes!
Unconscious.
Ain't I just?
Ask her, Billy.
Ask me what?
Abby...
I mean, we want
to get married.
What do you know about that?
I just happened
to have checked into
the Montecito chapel...
and there's a few ceremonies
tomorrow but I think we can
fit in Mr. And Mrs. Billy.
Well, we want to
get married now.
It's 3:00 a.m.
It is?
And when I get back
from the ladies room, I expect
there to be a car out front.
A lot of moxie in that girl.
Yeah, Abby,
she bought these rings.
Irish Claddagh rings.
See the two hands
holding the heart?
Romantic.
Whatever, they were,
like, $30 for the pair.
Jimmy, keep an eye
on my chips.
You got it.
But they're lucky as hell.
Now Abby says
she's gonna throw hers
into the Bellagio fountain...
if we don't
get hitched tonight.
Now, I'm on one hell
of a streak.
How bad can marriage be?
I can have a limo waiting
in the main valet for you
in three minutes.
It's $55 for the license. Now
the Marriage License Bureau...
is open 24 hours
on the weekends.
There's always a line
but I happen
to know the clerk...
so I can have you back
at the tables by sunrise.
Ed.
Yeah.
Listen carefully.
I'm holding Ed Deline.
A series of non-negotiable
demands will follow.
Who is this?
Is this some kind of joke?
Get up and go to your office
and wait for me
to contact you.
If you fail to follow
my instructions,
what happens next
will be your fault.
I wanna talk to Ed.
Leave a message for Ed Deline.
Okay, here you go.
We're all set.
Oh, cool.
All right.
Where's the judge?
It's 4:00 a.m.,
so there's no judge.
All night priest?
I'm afraid not, Billy.
So who's gonna marry us?
The only rules are that
you've to get married
in the State of Nevada...
within a year of the issuance
of the marriage license...
so anybody who's authorized
to perform ceremonies.
Where do we find said person?
Would you like
to walk the gauntlet?
I'll marry you.
Right here.
Free Cabala bracelet
of $300 value
with every ceremony.
Wise men say only fools
don't get married at
the Moonlight Fantasy Chapel.
Only $399.
Sunrise special, $279.
This is crazy.
This is hilarious.
It's Vegas.
What do you think, hon,
the King?
I think the King.
Yeah, all right.
Right this way, folks.
What are you doing, Marty?
They're mine.
You heard the lady.
She said she wants the King.
What am I?
A fried peanut butter
and banana sandwich?
Sweetie, take it ease.
I like the lady King.
She's got a better deal.
He likes you. Let's go.
See?
But...
You've undercut me
for the last time, Charlene.
Shut up, Marty.
You shut up!
Right this way, please.
So what does this guy want?
He didn't say.
Money?
You'd think.
You think it's a CIA thing?
No.
If the CIA's gonna
kidnap somebody...
they're sure as hell not going
to call and say they did.
You don't think
he's testing us, do you?
No.
Look, the call came
from Ed's cellphone, right?
So we ought to be able
to figure out
where the caller was.
I'm already on it. Cell calls
are easy to trace...
because you can identify
the originating cell site.
My buddy at Southern Nevada
wireless is sending us
the data right now.
Think we should
call his house?
Maybe Ed lost his phone,
or somebody lifted it...
and they're trying
to grift us.
Maybe it's nothing.
Do we want to
freak Jillian out?
Screw it. I'm calling
his home number.
Hi, you've reached
the Delines.
Jillian's in New York
until Tuesday...
and I'm wherever I am,
so please leave a message.
I got the data
from the cellphone provider.
That pinpoint is where
the call from Ed's phone
to you originated.
It's the airport parking lot.
Let's go.
Hey, man, where you been?
To put things in motion.
Hey, look...
I gotta piss.
You know, for a guy
in your situation...
you don't seem
to be too worried.
You see, you know,
if you gotta go, right?
Just uncuff one of my hands
so I can get myself
in the right position.
Thanks, man.
See, I heard about your whole
Delta Force, CIA...
Piss in your pants.
Come on man, you've asked Ed
about kidnapping before?
It happens a lot
in this town, Mikey.
You know that.
Vegas is full of high-profile
people with ready access
to untraceable cash.
So what are we supposed to do?
Ed told me specifically,
never pay a ransom,
never call the cops.
Why?
Because once a kidnapper...
gets the money,
why take the chance
you can identify him?
It's safer for him to kill you
than it is to let you go.
It's Ed's watch.
"Check your email. Tick tock."
Damn.
Let's go.
As the sun rises once again
over this city of dreams...
we are gathered together
to make one more a reality.
I need that ring back
on my finger.
Can she please cut
to the chase?
Billy.
Sweetie, chop, chop.
Okay, sure. Okay, sure thing.
Do you William Henry
Harrison Murphy...
Stop.
Marty? What're you doing here?
The power vested in me.
Man and wife. Say that part.
I told you not to mess
with me, Charlene.
Oh, yeah?
Well, bring it on, Marty!
Let's shake, rattle and roll,
boys.
My wig! Stop!
He wants $213,000.
We'll receive the location
of the drop later.
$213,000? Who the hell
is this guy? Dr. Evil?
"It's what I'm owed."
You will receive the...
That's not spelled right.
What?
"L" before "E"
except after "C."
So he misspelled "receive,"
so what?
"Make no mistake,
if you contact law enforcement
of any kind...
"Ed Deline is a dead man."
Well, he spelled "dead" right.
Why $213,000?
Maybe he's crazy...
or maybe he lost
this exact amount
in the casino.
Could be reason enough to grab
up the boss.
Let's check that amount.
No one's lost
exactly $213,000 here
since the Montecito opened.
All right.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you looking at porn?
Yeah.
Cool. Let me see.
No.
It's probably not for you.
All right.
Just FYI that stuff stays
on your hard drive
even after you erase it.
That's good to know.
Either of you seen my dad?
No.
Probably dead.
What?
His cellphone.
I've been trying to call him
all morning and it keeps
going to voicemail.
You guys gotta get him
a charger for his office.
That's a good idea.
Will you let him know
that Mary's moved...
the VIP Duran Duran show
to Mystique and I'm going
to be helping her out?
Okay.
Sure.
Okay, you guys are weird.
Hey.
Hit it.
Whatever's happened so far...
we can work it out.
You have a daughter.
Listen, you worthless
sack of crap.
Don't you ever think about...
Save the macho garbage
for the casino, all right?
I have a daughter, too.
Her mother took her
because she said I couldn't
provide for her.
I haven't seen her
in three years.
What's her name?
Kiss my ass, that's her name.
What happened to you, man?
You happened.
You screwed up my life.
You know how bad it hurts,
not to see your kid?
Yeah, I do.
You said I owe you.
$213,000 even.
And I'm not charging interest.
I'm a fair guy.
Look, I like
to think of myself
as a standup guy, too.
So if I've hurt you
in anyway financially...
we'll work it out, man.
You mean it?
Yeah, I do.
Look, just...
let me out of here
and we call this thing
a mulligan.
Spare me
the hostage-negotiator
psycho garbage.
It ain't working.
Listen, you yellow
rat bastard, my people
have strict instructions.
They're not going to pay you
a dime in ransom...
'cause, see,
if you pay one douchebag...
word gets out.
Then all the other douchebags,
they get cocky.
You know what?
You better pray they pay...
'cause I've had three years
to think about what
I'd do to you if they don't.
Then let's pray together,
shall we?
This is going to be
a great story you can
tell your grandchildren.
I'm gonna go upstairs
and get some sleep.
I'll be right up, hon.
Good night, Sam.
Good night. I'm sorry.
Pleasant dreams.
Listen, the police
are going to launch
a full investigation.
But you have
your marriage license.
I can have
the Montecito chapel available
to you anytime you want.
Not without the rings.
Yeah, I'm gonna replace
those rings personally.
I'm going to have
two platinum,
diamond encrusted...
three carat D flawless,
there you go.
Money plays outside.
Here. Come on.
Come on. Two.
28 Black.
Yeah.
It's just one bet, Billy.
Yeah, marriage is a bet, too.
A big one.
My luck is in those rings,
Sam.
And now they're gone.
Yes, but, Billy...
Just give me some time, Billy.
What's this?
I traced the kidnapper's email
sent to you.
He sent it from an Internet
coffee house up in Henderson.
This is the sign-in sheet.
I had them fax it over to us.
Only one person rented
computer time at the same time
the email was sent to you.
So the guy
calls himself Brain?
What, does he
want us to think
he's smarter than we are?
I don't know. So I'm gonna
search the database...
and try to match
the handwriting.
It's worth a shot, I guess.
Or we could just call Luis.
Just Luis.
We talked about this, no cops.
Danny, you're not listening
to me...
Look, Mike.
I've never had to
pull rank before but I will.
Tell me you don't
feel this thing
getting away from us!
Are you done?
Start that database research.
I'll be back.
I hope you like chocolate.
It's not Mystique...
but for the guy
who screwed up my life,
I think it's pretty generous.
You've been to Mystique, huh?
Bella Sera, Jester's Court.
I know the Montecito
from the inside out.
Yeah.
Look...
what the hell
is this thing here?
It's a heated bidet
toilet seat.
Yeah?
It comes from Korea.
I don't know if I'd...
want to put
my naked behind on that.
It's electrical, right?
It's low voltage, dummy.
It's perfectly safe.
These things...
These things are gonna
be big over here.
Your boy Danny
doesn't screw up...
you might be out of here
in time to give it a try.
Really? Looking at porn,
again?
Have a seat.
We need to know
if anyone's lost $213,000
who's not on the books.
That's easy to check.
The casino computer
tracks the wagers
of every player on the floor.
Except the ones
that you tell it not to.
That would violate
company policy, Danny.
Come on, Ness, we know
some of your players
deal only in cash.
And we also know that you
don't always put everyone's
info into the system.
$213,000?
Yes.
Steven Chae.
He writes the column
for the as Vegas Mirror...
the "Sin City Undercover."
Right?
Yeah.
Chae welshed on a big marker
last year. Ed had him 86'd.
Chae came back with an offer.
He'd keep our
high profile clients
out of the paper...
if Ed worked out
a payment plan.
You know where this guy lives?
Wait. What's with
all the questions?
Where's Ed?
Where does he live, Nessa?
Is this the new Duran Duran?
Yeah. So?
You gonna tell me
what happened in high school?
Nope.
Mike, we're watching
the guy's house here. Come on.
Look, I'm not Joe Stakeout.
I didn't know there were rules
about making conversation.
I think you should tell me
why you clammed up...
when Nessa brought up
the Duran Duran concert...
you and Danny went to.
Ancient history.
And I was
an archeology major.
You never graduated.
What happened?
Come on, we swore
we would never discuss it.
Okay. Senior year.
I get tickets to Duran Duran
at the Thomas and Mack...
and we decide
after the concert
we're gonna...
you know, do it
for the first time.
As in the big nasty...
Sex, Delinda. Yes.
You're gonna play the album
from the same band
while you're doing it.
Yeah, I had the whole thing
planned out.
Juvenile, yet romantic.
Yeah.
No, but Danny, right...
he's a little nervous
beforehand about...
Performance anxiety?
Yes.
So before the concert,
we break into my father's
liquor cabinet.
So I stop at a liquor store...
and talk some older guy
into buying us a bottle
of peppermint schnapps.
How foul.
I know, right?
We sneak the bottle
into the concert
and Danny proceeds to drink...
the entire thing.
And she drinks
the whole thing.
Damn, man.
Yeah.
About 10 minutes into
the concert she blows chunks
all over my Air Jordans.
And he hurls all over...
my white cowboy boots.
Your Jordans?
Yeah.
That's just wrong.
I know.
Then I finally drag her out
to the car, and she's
all over me.
And he tells me
that he loves me.
Talking all this crazy
"I love you forever"
nonsense...
taking her clothes off.
Somehow, I dragged him
out of there, I got him home
and I put him to bed.
You didn't.
No, trust me, he woke up
in the middle of the night
and tried.
No. Come on, man.
She was wasted.
We never spoke of it again.
That was the last
we talked about it.
This is just between us?
Yeah. Of course.
And that's just between
you and me, brother.
That's him.
Where'd you get these?
I'm a Marine, where do you
think I got them?
Hands in the air!
Don't move, I swear...
This ain't the guy.
I know.
We were never here.
We're running out
of options here, partner.
Yeah, I know. Wait.
Yeah.
The money should come
only from the drop boxes
on the casino floor...
not the cashier
or the counting room.
Put the money in a black
30-gallon trash bag...
and wait
for further instructions.
Wait. How do we know
you're gonna let him go?
Hey. Son of a...
Yo, Elvis?
Bride's dressing room
to the left.
Vending machines
to the right...
and crapper's
right behind the altar.
Charming. I'm not here
for a wedding.
Hi.
You were at the melee
at Charlene's this morning,
right?
What's your name?
I'm gonna have you subpoenaed.
I need the rings.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Right.
Well, we searched
the other chapel
so what's it gonna take?
No amount of money's
gonna work on me.
I will not give Charlene
the satisfaction.
I've been married
to that water buffalo...
for 12 long years.
So, you and little girl Elvis
are married?
Yeah. But our divorce
is final next week.
Okay.
Six months ago
she decides to open up
a competing chapel...
just to chap my hide.
I need the rings.
Even if I had them,
and I'm not saying
that I do...
there ain't a chance
I would give them back.
Screw the happy people.
You're still in love with her.
Marty, you're not
fooling anyone.
Just give me the rings.
No.
Listen, jumpsuit Elvis.
I'll be getting those rings.
Trust me.
Do you know why divorces
are so expensive?
Because they're worth it!
Look, I feel really terrible
about what happened.
In fact, I'd like
to pay for the rings.
Well, it's not about the cost.
The rings had
sentimental value.
You go see Marty?
Yeah.
Yeah, he wouldn't
help you out, would he?
No.
He is so damn stubborn
when it's got anything
to do with me.
Maybe it's because
he still in love with you.
You think so?
You know, when Elvis
and Priscilla
were splitsville...
it never got bitter.
That's nice.
He tell you we're married?
Yeah.
He said it ain't over yet.
Really?
Anything?
Nothing.
The last call came
from a payphone on The Strip.
All right. We pay.
Wait. I thought
Ed said no ransom.
You said it yourself,
we're running out of options.
Besides this might give Ed
time to do something.
I'm calling Nessa.
Get the money.
Okay.
Security check.
Surprise count.
Yeah.
What's going on in here?
You son of a bitch.
What's this, huh?
You think you can get away?
You think I'm gonna
let you go?
You're gonna die in this room,
like the turd that you are.
$213,000 exactly.
You sure about this?
Not at all.
Hey, sweetie.
I need your comp list
for the Duran Duran show.
I'm in the middle
of something.
I saw your whales
checking out.
I thought they were coming
to the show?
Which whales?
The guy from Philly
and the cute brunette.
Wait. Were they going
to another hotel?
I think I heard them say
they were going
to the airport.
Hang on.
We gotta go. Come on.
It's from Ed.
It's from his phone,
but how do we know it's him?
Push in right there
on his hand.
That's Ed's wedding ring.
Come on, Ed, if you can
send us a picture,
why can't you call us?
Thank you.
The cellphone provider says
they can narrow
the picture mail call...
down to a four square
block area.
I'll meet you downstairs
in two minutes.
Wait.
That four square block area
has over 14,000
hotel rooms in it.
It's Danny.
Send your four best people up
to surveillance right away.
You. Get your ass in the car.
Hey, jumpsuit. Grab the rings.
But...
Now.
Yes, ma'am.
Go to every Strip hotel
from Desert Inn Road
to Sahara.
Find the head of housekeeping,
show them this picture.
We need to know
if they can identify
anything in this bathroom.
The tile, molding,
toilet, anything.
Ask them, "Does this exist
in your hotel?"
Go.
Go. Get back to us.
Yeah.
On top of the trash can.
Employee parking lot 8,
northeast corner.
Five minutes.
I'll release Deline
in one hour.
Yeah.
We're out of time.
Watch it.
Move!
Forget it, man.
What do we do now?
What can we do? We wait.
One hour.
Billy.
Hey, Sam.
We found your rings.
These are them.
Thanks.
But I think
it's a little too late.
Billy, is it ever really
too late for true love?
Hey, you got a quarter?
A quarter.
Yeah. I got one.
Right here. There you go.
I won $10.
Look at that!
Look at that, you're back.
I think we should go over
to the Montecito chapel.
Let's go get married.
What the hell?
Let's do it here.
Or, let's do it here.
You guys? You guys ready?
Sure.
Dearly beloved...
Marty?
Charlene?
You were expecting
somebody else?
Danny McCoy paid up.
I'm very happy for you.
You got what you were owed.
You know somehow...
it's not as satisfying
as I'd hoped.
I think if you died
of hypothermia, then I'd feel
like we were really even.
You know, those are backwards.
No, they're not.
But you're a dead man.
You coward.
You mark my words.
You're the dead man,
you understand?
Dead.
Goodbye, Ed.
Six hours and nothing.
Not a phone call,
not an email address.
We blew it, Danny.
We ran this thing
ass backwards.
You checked the tile
and the moldings?
It's all Home Depot stuff,
too common to trace.
I've been through it
a dozen times.
What about the toilet seat?
What about it?
It's a toilet seat.
Dude, just push in on it,
please.
Fine.
A little more. Right there.
Stop. Look.
Right there on the side.
There's something
attached to it.
Whatever it is,
it's out of frame. Wait.
There are some numbers. 9-6-0.
Numbers doesn't matter.
I've checked
on all the toilet seats
I care to think about.
You know my old man's
a contractor, right?
Of course.
He used to make me help out
with the plumbers.
And a couple years ago we were
remodeling a bathroom...
for this old lady neighbor
and she had hemorrhoids,
something fierce.
The "ring of fire,"
she called it.
You're losing it, man.
I remember her saying that
the only thing that helped...
sort of put out
the ring of fire...
was the warm water
that squirted up
from this special seat.
Like a bidet toilet seat?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty awesome
actually.
You gotta pucker up
the first couple of times
but after a while I liked it.
Got it.
It's the CleanJet 960.
Made in Korea,
not sold in stores,
special order only.
Who are you calling?
It's the middle of the night.
Not in Seoul.
Great. I'm calling
from Las Vegas, USA.
I ordered a CleanJet 960
some time ago
and I never received it.
Can you tell me where
you shipped it to?
Yeah.
That's me.
We got an address.
I'll explain the Korean later.
You the guys with the pizza?
Bobby.
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here?
Mr. Be Right Back.
Four different countries,
you know what you said to me?
Be right back.
Guess what? We got
a little back problem here.
Ed, getting to see you
is getting tougher
than to see the Pope.
Pope? You think
there's a Pope alive
that would take a look at you?
What you got going there?
It's like a lovely
contusion there, Bruce Lee.
I just been practicing.
Really?
What are you doing here?
I don't know.
I had a few days to kill...
so I thought I come over
to your joint and hang around.
Eventually, you'll feel sorry
for me and come up and say:
"How you doing, old friend?"
Well, I did.
And I'm feeling sorry
for you so...
what I thought I'd do for you
is put you up
in the Presidential Suite.
No, you're kidding?
I swear to God.
Upstairs?
Upstairs.
Running water? TV? Everything?
Bathroom.
Pass. To tell you the truth,
this place isn't quite...
you know, what I like.
Too many high steppers.
Yeah.
But on a serious note,
I got a gap in the schedule.
So if you need
any repair work, just...
you know which chain to pull
and just ask for,
I don't know...
Mr. Be Right Back.
Yeah, you are.
Come on, old man.
Old man? I got your old man.
Take it easy.
You want me to send you
that raw steak?
It's a retainer.
Hey, boys.
How are you?
Good. Mike.
Thanks.
I just want to see
if it hurts.
You jerk.
The only real mistake
you guys made
was to pay that ransom.
You should have known this guy
would have never let me go.
Hey, it bought us enough time
to figure out that picture
you sent us.
The Montecito has fired
3,217 people
in the last three years.
That's all?
So we're going to
split these up
and start looking.
Hey, sweetie.
What the hell happened to you?
New karate instructor.
Do you know I've been
calling you all day long?
I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry.
Daddy, you got to remember
to charge your cellphone.
I will, sweetie. In fact,
I'm gonna get a new one.
I have to.
All right.
Duran Duran is about
to come on. You guys ready?
No, why don't you guys
go without me?
We'll take care of that thing
in the morning, okay?
You sure?
Oh yeah, sure.
All right.
Bobby, give me another one,
will you?
You got it.
Hey.
Long day?
Good luck.
Let me ask you.
The hot and cold,
they're reversed, right?
Yeah.
It's been like that
since they built this bar
three years ago.
Whoever installed the thing
must have put them
in backwards.
Yeah, right.
Okay, Mystique, let's show
a little love and give it up
for Duran Duran!
From the lady.
From the gentleman.
Peppermint schnapps.
Here, beat me.
if you please, my man.
I believe that's
seven straight. How do you
beat that, Billy Murphy?
Can't beat that with a stick,
Samantha Jane.
Set a date yet?
I'm working on a plan.
It's good to have a plan.
Right, what's with this whole
"I heart" thing?
Well, it's just the
natural progression
of the whole "I love" thing.
Hence,
"I Heart Duran Duran Weekend."
I think it's cheesy
and it bugs
the hell out of me.
Which is exactly why
we're gonna keep saying it.
Like, I heart a big butt.
Yeah, I heart another drink.
I heart it, too. It's cute.
I think you two like it
because of the whole
Duran Duran thing.
Yeah, I heard that
their new album is supposed
to be pretty awesome.
Yeah, I heard that, too.
Don't change the subject.
That's right, didn't you two
see Duran Duran together
back in the day?
That's right. I seem
to remember some talk about
a high school adventure...
that culminated in
some post concert shenanigans.
I'd heart to hear
all about it.
Me, too.
I'd heart to hear
all about it.
Hello, boys and girls.
Good night, boss.
Good night. You guys all set
for Divine Divine?
Duran Duran. Yeah.
I knew there was no last name.
All set.
Oh, my God.
Here you are.
I thought you'd never come.
Danny, you see that guy
over there?
Don't look.
Yeah, okay.
Just pick up his tab.
Give him anything he wants.
Anything, okay?
Who is he?
It's Frank, the repairman.
We're comping a repairman?
Never mind. Just do it, okay?
Okay.
Darn it. Tell him
I'm real late
for this Steve Wynn thing.
And just tell him
I'll be right back. Okay?
Okay.
Don't forget.
Okay, I won't.
All right,
have a great time, okay?
Bye, Daddy.
Bye, boss.
Hey, Ed. We heart you.
What's that?
We heart you.
Breathe wrong and you're dead.
I don't know what you want...
but this is definitely
not the way to get it.
Shut up. Polanti.
I hear these keep
pretty good time.
Yeah.
I wouldn't know.
I got a Swatch.
Hey, look man,
if you're with the Company...
Company?
I haven't worked
in three years.
I just want what I'm owed.
Nothing more.
I owe you something?
I don't know
who the hell you are.
What the hell.
It's not gonna matter, anyway.
Yeah, so?
So.
You fired me.
I fired you?
I just told you I have no idea
who the hell you are.
You run the place.
I hold you responsible.
You're a wacko, man.
Shut up.
I just want what I'm owed.
You listen to me,
you ugly ass punk.
You make sure you kill me,
you hear me?
'Cause if you don't...
I swear to God on my mother,
I'll kill you.
Yes!
Unconscious.
Ain't I just?
Ask her, Billy.
Ask me what?
Abby...
I mean, we want
to get married.
What do you know about that?
I just happened
to have checked into
the Montecito chapel...
and there's a few ceremonies
tomorrow but I think we can
fit in Mr. And Mrs. Billy.
Well, we want to
get married now.
It's 3:00 a.m.
It is?
And when I get back
from the ladies room, I expect
there to be a car out front.
A lot of moxie in that girl.
Yeah, Abby,
she bought these rings.
Irish Claddagh rings.
See the two hands
holding the heart?
Romantic.
Whatever, they were,
like, $30 for the pair.
Jimmy, keep an eye
on my chips.
You got it.
But they're lucky as hell.
Now Abby says
she's gonna throw hers
into the Bellagio fountain...
if we don't
get hitched tonight.
Now, I'm on one hell
of a streak.
How bad can marriage be?
I can have a limo waiting
in the main valet for you
in three minutes.
It's $55 for the license. Now
the Marriage License Bureau...
is open 24 hours
on the weekends.
There's always a line
but I happen
to know the clerk...
so I can have you back
at the tables by sunrise.
Ed.
Yeah.
Listen carefully.
I'm holding Ed Deline.
A series of non-negotiable
demands will follow.
Who is this?
Is this some kind of joke?
Get up and go to your office
and wait for me
to contact you.
If you fail to follow
my instructions,
what happens next
will be your fault.
I wanna talk to Ed.
Leave a message for Ed Deline.
Okay, here you go.
We're all set.
Oh, cool.
All right.
Where's the judge?
It's 4:00 a.m.,
so there's no judge.
All night priest?
I'm afraid not, Billy.
So who's gonna marry us?
The only rules are that
you've to get married
in the State of Nevada...
within a year of the issuance
of the marriage license...
so anybody who's authorized
to perform ceremonies.
Where do we find said person?
Would you like
to walk the gauntlet?
I'll marry you.
Right here.
Free Cabala bracelet
of $300 value
with every ceremony.
Wise men say only fools
don't get married at
the Moonlight Fantasy Chapel.
Only $399.
Sunrise special, $279.
This is crazy.
This is hilarious.
It's Vegas.
What do you think, hon,
the King?
I think the King.
Yeah, all right.
Right this way, folks.
What are you doing, Marty?
They're mine.
You heard the lady.
She said she wants the King.
What am I?
A fried peanut butter
and banana sandwich?
Sweetie, take it ease.
I like the lady King.
She's got a better deal.
He likes you. Let's go.
See?
But...
You've undercut me
for the last time, Charlene.
Shut up, Marty.
You shut up!
Right this way, please.
So what does this guy want?
He didn't say.
Money?
You'd think.
You think it's a CIA thing?
No.
If the CIA's gonna
kidnap somebody...
they're sure as hell not going
to call and say they did.
You don't think
he's testing us, do you?
No.
Look, the call came
from Ed's cellphone, right?
So we ought to be able
to figure out
where the caller was.
I'm already on it. Cell calls
are easy to trace...
because you can identify
the originating cell site.
My buddy at Southern Nevada
wireless is sending us
the data right now.
Think we should
call his house?
Maybe Ed lost his phone,
or somebody lifted it...
and they're trying
to grift us.
Maybe it's nothing.
Do we want to
freak Jillian out?
Screw it. I'm calling
his home number.
Hi, you've reached
the Delines.
Jillian's in New York
until Tuesday...
and I'm wherever I am,
so please leave a message.
I got the data
from the cellphone provider.
That pinpoint is where
the call from Ed's phone
to you originated.
It's the airport parking lot.
Let's go.
Hey, man, where you been?
To put things in motion.
Hey, look...
I gotta piss.
You know, for a guy
in your situation...
you don't seem
to be too worried.
You see, you know,
if you gotta go, right?
Just uncuff one of my hands
so I can get myself
in the right position.
Thanks, man.
See, I heard about your whole
Delta Force, CIA...
Piss in your pants.
Come on man, you've asked Ed
about kidnapping before?
It happens a lot
in this town, Mikey.
You know that.
Vegas is full of high-profile
people with ready access
to untraceable cash.
So what are we supposed to do?
Ed told me specifically,
never pay a ransom,
never call the cops.
Why?
Because once a kidnapper...
gets the money,
why take the chance
you can identify him?
It's safer for him to kill you
than it is to let you go.
It's Ed's watch.
"Check your email. Tick tock."
Damn.
Let's go.
As the sun rises once again
over this city of dreams...
we are gathered together
to make one more a reality.
I need that ring back
on my finger.
Can she please cut
to the chase?
Billy.
Sweetie, chop, chop.
Okay, sure. Okay, sure thing.
Do you William Henry
Harrison Murphy...
Stop.
Marty? What're you doing here?
The power vested in me.
Man and wife. Say that part.
I told you not to mess
with me, Charlene.
Oh, yeah?
Well, bring it on, Marty!
Let's shake, rattle and roll,
boys.
My wig! Stop!
He wants $213,000.
We'll receive the location
of the drop later.
$213,000? Who the hell
is this guy? Dr. Evil?
"It's what I'm owed."
You will receive the...
That's not spelled right.
What?
"L" before "E"
except after "C."
So he misspelled "receive,"
so what?
"Make no mistake,
if you contact law enforcement
of any kind...
"Ed Deline is a dead man."
Well, he spelled "dead" right.
Why $213,000?
Maybe he's crazy...
or maybe he lost
this exact amount
in the casino.
Could be reason enough to grab
up the boss.
Let's check that amount.
No one's lost
exactly $213,000 here
since the Montecito opened.
All right.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you looking at porn?
Yeah.
Cool. Let me see.
No.
It's probably not for you.
All right.
Just FYI that stuff stays
on your hard drive
even after you erase it.
That's good to know.
Either of you seen my dad?
No.
Probably dead.
What?
His cellphone.
I've been trying to call him
all morning and it keeps
going to voicemail.
You guys gotta get him
a charger for his office.
That's a good idea.
Will you let him know
that Mary's moved...
the VIP Duran Duran show
to Mystique and I'm going
to be helping her out?
Okay.
Sure.
Okay, you guys are weird.
Hey.
Hit it.
Whatever's happened so far...
we can work it out.
You have a daughter.
Listen, you worthless
sack of crap.
Don't you ever think about...
Save the macho garbage
for the casino, all right?
I have a daughter, too.
Her mother took her
because she said I couldn't
provide for her.
I haven't seen her
in three years.
What's her name?
Kiss my ass, that's her name.
What happened to you, man?
You happened.
You screwed up my life.
You know how bad it hurts,
not to see your kid?
Yeah, I do.
You said I owe you.
$213,000 even.
And I'm not charging interest.
I'm a fair guy.
Look, I like
to think of myself
as a standup guy, too.
So if I've hurt you
in anyway financially...
we'll work it out, man.
You mean it?
Yeah, I do.
Look, just...
let me out of here
and we call this thing
a mulligan.
Spare me
the hostage-negotiator
psycho garbage.
It ain't working.
Listen, you yellow
rat bastard, my people
have strict instructions.
They're not going to pay you
a dime in ransom...
'cause, see,
if you pay one douchebag...
word gets out.
Then all the other douchebags,
they get cocky.
You know what?
You better pray they pay...
'cause I've had three years
to think about what
I'd do to you if they don't.
Then let's pray together,
shall we?
This is going to be
a great story you can
tell your grandchildren.
I'm gonna go upstairs
and get some sleep.
I'll be right up, hon.
Good night, Sam.
Good night. I'm sorry.
Pleasant dreams.
Listen, the police
are going to launch
a full investigation.
But you have
your marriage license.
I can have
the Montecito chapel available
to you anytime you want.
Not without the rings.
Yeah, I'm gonna replace
those rings personally.
I'm going to have
two platinum,
diamond encrusted...
three carat D flawless,
there you go.
Money plays outside.
Here. Come on.
Come on. Two.
28 Black.
Yeah.
It's just one bet, Billy.
Yeah, marriage is a bet, too.
A big one.
My luck is in those rings,
Sam.
And now they're gone.
Yes, but, Billy...
Just give me some time, Billy.
What's this?
I traced the kidnapper's email
sent to you.
He sent it from an Internet
coffee house up in Henderson.
This is the sign-in sheet.
I had them fax it over to us.
Only one person rented
computer time at the same time
the email was sent to you.
So the guy
calls himself Brain?
What, does he
want us to think
he's smarter than we are?
I don't know. So I'm gonna
search the database...
and try to match
the handwriting.
It's worth a shot, I guess.
Or we could just call Luis.
Just Luis.
We talked about this, no cops.
Danny, you're not listening
to me...
Look, Mike.
I've never had to
pull rank before but I will.
Tell me you don't
feel this thing
getting away from us!
Are you done?
Start that database research.
I'll be back.
I hope you like chocolate.
It's not Mystique...
but for the guy
who screwed up my life,
I think it's pretty generous.
You've been to Mystique, huh?
Bella Sera, Jester's Court.
I know the Montecito
from the inside out.
Yeah.
Look...
what the hell
is this thing here?
It's a heated bidet
toilet seat.
Yeah?
It comes from Korea.
I don't know if I'd...
want to put
my naked behind on that.
It's electrical, right?
It's low voltage, dummy.
It's perfectly safe.
These things...
These things are gonna
be big over here.
Your boy Danny
doesn't screw up...
you might be out of here
in time to give it a try.
Really? Looking at porn,
again?
Have a seat.
We need to know
if anyone's lost $213,000
who's not on the books.
That's easy to check.
The casino computer
tracks the wagers
of every player on the floor.
Except the ones
that you tell it not to.
That would violate
company policy, Danny.
Come on, Ness, we know
some of your players
deal only in cash.
And we also know that you
don't always put everyone's
info into the system.
$213,000?
Yes.
Steven Chae.
He writes the column
for the as Vegas Mirror...
the "Sin City Undercover."
Right?
Yeah.
Chae welshed on a big marker
last year. Ed had him 86'd.
Chae came back with an offer.
He'd keep our
high profile clients
out of the paper...
if Ed worked out
a payment plan.
You know where this guy lives?
Wait. What's with
all the questions?
Where's Ed?
Where does he live, Nessa?
Is this the new Duran Duran?
Yeah. So?
You gonna tell me
what happened in high school?
Nope.
Mike, we're watching
the guy's house here. Come on.
Look, I'm not Joe Stakeout.
I didn't know there were rules
about making conversation.
I think you should tell me
why you clammed up...
when Nessa brought up
the Duran Duran concert...
you and Danny went to.
Ancient history.
And I was
an archeology major.
You never graduated.
What happened?
Come on, we swore
we would never discuss it.
Okay. Senior year.
I get tickets to Duran Duran
at the Thomas and Mack...
and we decide
after the concert
we're gonna...
you know, do it
for the first time.
As in the big nasty...
Sex, Delinda. Yes.
You're gonna play the album
from the same band
while you're doing it.
Yeah, I had the whole thing
planned out.
Juvenile, yet romantic.
Yeah.
No, but Danny, right...
he's a little nervous
beforehand about...
Performance anxiety?
Yes.
So before the concert,
we break into my father's
liquor cabinet.
So I stop at a liquor store...
and talk some older guy
into buying us a bottle
of peppermint schnapps.
How foul.
I know, right?
We sneak the bottle
into the concert
and Danny proceeds to drink...
the entire thing.
And she drinks
the whole thing.
Damn, man.
Yeah.
About 10 minutes into
the concert she blows chunks
all over my Air Jordans.
And he hurls all over...
my white cowboy boots.
Your Jordans?
Yeah.
That's just wrong.
I know.
Then I finally drag her out
to the car, and she's
all over me.
And he tells me
that he loves me.
Talking all this crazy
"I love you forever"
nonsense...
taking her clothes off.
Somehow, I dragged him
out of there, I got him home
and I put him to bed.
You didn't.
No, trust me, he woke up
in the middle of the night
and tried.
No. Come on, man.
She was wasted.
We never spoke of it again.
That was the last
we talked about it.
This is just between us?
Yeah. Of course.
And that's just between
you and me, brother.
That's him.
Where'd you get these?
I'm a Marine, where do you
think I got them?
Hands in the air!
Don't move, I swear...
This ain't the guy.
I know.
We were never here.
We're running out
of options here, partner.
Yeah, I know. Wait.
Yeah.
The money should come
only from the drop boxes
on the casino floor...
not the cashier
or the counting room.
Put the money in a black
30-gallon trash bag...
and wait
for further instructions.
Wait. How do we know
you're gonna let him go?
Hey. Son of a...
Yo, Elvis?
Bride's dressing room
to the left.
Vending machines
to the right...
and crapper's
right behind the altar.
Charming. I'm not here
for a wedding.
Hi.
You were at the melee
at Charlene's this morning,
right?
What's your name?
I'm gonna have you subpoenaed.
I need the rings.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Right.
Well, we searched
the other chapel
so what's it gonna take?
No amount of money's
gonna work on me.
I will not give Charlene
the satisfaction.
I've been married
to that water buffalo...
for 12 long years.
So, you and little girl Elvis
are married?
Yeah. But our divorce
is final next week.
Okay.
Six months ago
she decides to open up
a competing chapel...
just to chap my hide.
I need the rings.
Even if I had them,
and I'm not saying
that I do...
there ain't a chance
I would give them back.
Screw the happy people.
You're still in love with her.
Marty, you're not
fooling anyone.
Just give me the rings.
No.
Listen, jumpsuit Elvis.
I'll be getting those rings.
Trust me.
Do you know why divorces
are so expensive?
Because they're worth it!
Look, I feel really terrible
about what happened.
In fact, I'd like
to pay for the rings.
Well, it's not about the cost.
The rings had
sentimental value.
You go see Marty?
Yeah.
Yeah, he wouldn't
help you out, would he?
No.
He is so damn stubborn
when it's got anything
to do with me.
Maybe it's because
he still in love with you.
You think so?
You know, when Elvis
and Priscilla
were splitsville...
it never got bitter.
That's nice.
He tell you we're married?
Yeah.
He said it ain't over yet.
Really?
Anything?
Nothing.
The last call came
from a payphone on The Strip.
All right. We pay.
Wait. I thought
Ed said no ransom.
You said it yourself,
we're running out of options.
Besides this might give Ed
time to do something.
I'm calling Nessa.
Get the money.
Okay.
Security check.
Surprise count.
Yeah.
What's going on in here?
You son of a bitch.
What's this, huh?
You think you can get away?
You think I'm gonna
let you go?
You're gonna die in this room,
like the turd that you are.
$213,000 exactly.
You sure about this?
Not at all.
Hey, sweetie.
I need your comp list
for the Duran Duran show.
I'm in the middle
of something.
I saw your whales
checking out.
I thought they were coming
to the show?
Which whales?
The guy from Philly
and the cute brunette.
Wait. Were they going
to another hotel?
I think I heard them say
they were going
to the airport.
Hang on.
We gotta go. Come on.
It's from Ed.
It's from his phone,
but how do we know it's him?
Push in right there
on his hand.
That's Ed's wedding ring.
Come on, Ed, if you can
send us a picture,
why can't you call us?
Thank you.
The cellphone provider says
they can narrow
the picture mail call...
down to a four square
block area.
I'll meet you downstairs
in two minutes.
Wait.
That four square block area
has over 14,000
hotel rooms in it.
It's Danny.
Send your four best people up
to surveillance right away.
You. Get your ass in the car.
Hey, jumpsuit. Grab the rings.
But...
Now.
Yes, ma'am.
Go to every Strip hotel
from Desert Inn Road
to Sahara.
Find the head of housekeeping,
show them this picture.
We need to know
if they can identify
anything in this bathroom.
The tile, molding,
toilet, anything.
Ask them, "Does this exist
in your hotel?"
Go.
Go. Get back to us.
Yeah.
On top of the trash can.
Employee parking lot 8,
northeast corner.
Five minutes.
I'll release Deline
in one hour.
Yeah.
We're out of time.
Watch it.
Move!
Forget it, man.
What do we do now?
What can we do? We wait.
One hour.
Billy.
Hey, Sam.
We found your rings.
These are them.
Thanks.
But I think
it's a little too late.
Billy, is it ever really
too late for true love?
Hey, you got a quarter?
A quarter.
Yeah. I got one.
Right here. There you go.
I won $10.
Look at that!
Look at that, you're back.
I think we should go over
to the Montecito chapel.
Let's go get married.
What the hell?
Let's do it here.
Or, let's do it here.
You guys? You guys ready?
Sure.
Dearly beloved...
Marty?
Charlene?
You were expecting
somebody else?
Danny McCoy paid up.
I'm very happy for you.
You got what you were owed.
You know somehow...
it's not as satisfying
as I'd hoped.
I think if you died
of hypothermia, then I'd feel
like we were really even.
You know, those are backwards.
No, they're not.
But you're a dead man.
You coward.
You mark my words.
You're the dead man,
you understand?
Dead.
Goodbye, Ed.
Six hours and nothing.
Not a phone call,
not an email address.
We blew it, Danny.
We ran this thing
ass backwards.
You checked the tile
and the moldings?
It's all Home Depot stuff,
too common to trace.
I've been through it
a dozen times.
What about the toilet seat?
What about it?
It's a toilet seat.
Dude, just push in on it,
please.
Fine.
A little more. Right there.
Stop. Look.
Right there on the side.
There's something
attached to it.
Whatever it is,
it's out of frame. Wait.
There are some numbers. 9-6-0.
Numbers doesn't matter.
I've checked
on all the toilet seats
I care to think about.
You know my old man's
a contractor, right?
Of course.
He used to make me help out
with the plumbers.
And a couple years ago we were
remodeling a bathroom...
for this old lady neighbor
and she had hemorrhoids,
something fierce.
The "ring of fire,"
she called it.
You're losing it, man.
I remember her saying that
the only thing that helped...
sort of put out
the ring of fire...
was the warm water
that squirted up
from this special seat.
Like a bidet toilet seat?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty awesome
actually.
You gotta pucker up
the first couple of times
but after a while I liked it.
Got it.
It's the CleanJet 960.
Made in Korea,
not sold in stores,
special order only.
Who are you calling?
It's the middle of the night.
Not in Seoul.
Great. I'm calling
from Las Vegas, USA.
I ordered a CleanJet 960
some time ago
and I never received it.
Can you tell me where
you shipped it to?
Yeah.
That's me.
We got an address.
I'll explain the Korean later.
You the guys with the pizza?
Bobby.
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here?
Mr. Be Right Back.
Four different countries,
you know what you said to me?
Be right back.
Guess what? We got
a little back problem here.
Ed, getting to see you
is getting tougher
than to see the Pope.
Pope? You think
there's a Pope alive
that would take a look at you?
What you got going there?
It's like a lovely
contusion there, Bruce Lee.
I just been practicing.
Really?
What are you doing here?
I don't know.
I had a few days to kill...
so I thought I come over
to your joint and hang around.
Eventually, you'll feel sorry
for me and come up and say:
"How you doing, old friend?"
Well, I did.
And I'm feeling sorry
for you so...
what I thought I'd do for you
is put you up
in the Presidential Suite.
No, you're kidding?
I swear to God.
Upstairs?
Upstairs.
Running water? TV? Everything?
Bathroom.
Pass. To tell you the truth,
this place isn't quite...
you know, what I like.
Too many high steppers.
Yeah.
But on a serious note,
I got a gap in the schedule.
So if you need
any repair work, just...
you know which chain to pull
and just ask for,
I don't know...
Mr. Be Right Back.
Yeah, you are.
Come on, old man.
Old man? I got your old man.
Take it easy.
You want me to send you
that raw steak?
It's a retainer.
Hey, boys.
How are you?
Good. Mike.
Thanks.
I just want to see
if it hurts.
You jerk.
The only real mistake
you guys made
was to pay that ransom.
You should have known this guy
would have never let me go.
Hey, it bought us enough time
to figure out that picture
you sent us.
The Montecito has fired
3,217 people
in the last three years.
That's all?
So we're going to
split these up
and start looking.
Hey, sweetie.
What the hell happened to you?
New karate instructor.
Do you know I've been
calling you all day long?
I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry.
Daddy, you got to remember
to charge your cellphone.
I will, sweetie. In fact,
I'm gonna get a new one.
I have to.
All right.
Duran Duran is about
to come on. You guys ready?
No, why don't you guys
go without me?
We'll take care of that thing
in the morning, okay?
You sure?
Oh yeah, sure.
All right.
Bobby, give me another one,
will you?
You got it.
Hey.
Long day?
Good luck.
Let me ask you.
The hot and cold,
they're reversed, right?
Yeah.
It's been like that
since they built this bar
three years ago.
Whoever installed the thing
must have put them
in backwards.
Yeah, right.
Okay, Mystique, let's show
a little love and give it up
for Duran Duran!
From the lady.
From the gentleman.
Peppermint schnapps.
Here, beat me.