Land Girls (2009–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Back to the Land - full transcript

Neoooow!

Woo-hoo!

Neoooow!

It can't be.

It's a bit late,

but I've got your birthday present.

Go on.

Mum? You know
when it's my birthday?

No.

Synced & corrected... > Rambo Media Ltd

Come on everybody, back to work.



By the left, quick march.

And I'm telling you she won't mind.

That tweed is fabulous!

Just hand it
over, there's a good girl.

My lady.

Is there a reason why
you're purloining

my dead husband's clothes, Diana?

Just following the make do
and mend policy, darling.

There's a little woman in Helmstead who'll turn
this into the most divine skirt and jacket.

Words fail me.

You're always on at me
about setting an example,

not flaunting our wealth.

My wealth.

Yes, I should be grateful,
shouldn't I?



And speaking of fabric,
I don't suppose you've spent

any time acquiring the uniforms for
the new land girls? I've been busy.

We'll let them work in their
underwear, shall we? I'll do it.

You're always saying you'll help.

Perhaps it's time you
faced the music.

Went back to your husband instead?

But I can hardly leave you alone
with all that you've been through.

Alone? Half the US military are here
in case you hadn't noticed.

All right, I'll help more if it
makes you happy. Let's hope you do.

Otherwise I may have to
pack your bags myself.

Happy birthday.

Just the one candle mind,
remember there's a war on.

Still, never thought

you'd

make it this far, did we?
There we go, there we are.

Good lad.

Oi! Come on. What?

Over the threshold.
Cos' you didn't when we got married.

Oh, don't be daft.

CAR HORNS BEEP

♪ You leave the Pennsylvania
Station 'bout a quarter to four

♪ Read a magazine
and then you're in Baltimore

♪ Dinner in the diner
nothing could be finer

♪ Than to have your
ham and eggs in Carolina

♪ When you hear the whistle blowing
eight to the bar

♪ Then you know that
Tennessee is not very far

♪ Shovel all the coal in

♪ Got to keep it rolling

♪ Woo, woo Chattanooga
there you are. ♪

Hey, baby!

Well, I've seen it all now.

All right sweetheart, give us
a hand with my case, will you?

Clear off you lot.
Haven't you got barracks to go to?

OK, OK, lady.

Connie Carter? The one
and only, pleased to meet you.

She's our new land girl.
Why were you kissing that Yank?

Small price to pay to save
walking from the station.

Right, show's over. Come on.

Look, this was only
ever a surprise visit.

I've got to get the old
crate back to Condover.

Hmm, I suppose.

Il me faut bient't partir, cherie.

What was that? Been learning it.
In case I meet any French birds.

Oh!
It's part of the evasion training.

Yeah, well, you can evade
those French birds for a start!

Give me a Coventry girl any time.

Glad to hear it.

So when do you have to go?

Soon. Ay, but you know what? I've
fixed things so I can swing by

the farm again
tomorrow evening, before I go.

Oh, I was planning on
reading my Agatha Christie.

And, er before breakfast,
I expect the eggs to be collected.

Now we have a rota so
it's a different girl

does the honours each day.

And do you have names
for all the hens?

It's a working farm,
not Winnie the Pooh.

Er, still won't start.

Why doesn't that surprise me?

I don't know why you bought
the tractor in the first place.

I wouldn't trust Vernon Storey
as far as I could throw him.

Oh, I could have a look.
I used to court a mechanic.

Some of it might have rubbed off.
His oily hands certainly did.

Yes, well,
you've got enough work to do, lady.

Oh, right.

Here's trouble. Come on.

We've already had the post,
haven't we?

I'm not here as post mistress, child.
I'm here in my other official role.

I have been asked, on behalf
of the Parish Council,

to conduct an audit of livestock.

Well, you know what you
can do with your audit.

Let's make a start
shall we start, Mr Finch?

I'll need your inventory.

We never really talked about having
a squadron of our own, did we?

No, war got in the way, didn't it?

And when it's over?

My mum was always on about
grandchildren, wasn't she?

Well, she'll be looking down,
glad we're talking about it now.

Can you imagine us, old and wrinkly?

House full of children

and grandchildren.

And we're all sat around the
table eating Sunday lunch.

Plates are piled high.

Everyone's asking about the time you
swept me away in a Tiger Moth.

The war will just be
a distant memory, but...

we'll never forget today, will we?

I can't wait.

Well, it'll keep me going every
time you go off risking your neck.

Hey, I'll always come back.

How many men have said
that to their wives?

Hey.

Time for you to go already?

Hey, it's only au revoir.

We'll say our goodbyes tomorrow.

General Garwood.
Mr Gillespie. It's a privilege.

Hope it wasn't a problem
travelling with the gear myself.

I wanted to keep an eye on
these babies all the way.

My men will take the utmost care.
They'll be stored in a secure base

and I've requisitioned part of a country estate
for a few weeks for testing and planning.

In Helmstead? Just outside.

A place called Hoxley Manor.
Outstanding. Here, let me.

Is there any news concerning my son?

We're pursuing a number of leads.
I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

Make it a priority,

I've got to be back in Chicago in
three weeks, General. Yes, Sir.

It's nice to see they've trusted
you with the wotsit... the audit.

Ay, ay, must have recognised
your true talents at last, eh?

Open it.

Well, there's nothing... Mr. Finch!

It says here your pigs went
to slaughter last week,

why's this pig still here?

It's not a pig, it's Chamberlain.

Unhand me, sir!

What breed is that pig?

Child?
Large white, Landrace Cross.

By the end of next week

you must surrender that

pig to slaughter.

And it's so cold up there I
thought my face was going to freeze.

That explains why it's
stuck in that smile.

Most romantic time I ever had involved an
ARP warden and a blackout in Bermondsey.

What you writing?

It's a secret.

So whereabouts in London are you
from? Stepney. In the East End.

Was your street bombed then?
Best thing that ever happened to it.

I didn't think of it as my street.

It was just where...

I'd been gone a long time by then.

Here, you're not
taking this down, are you?

Don't want my words
turning up nowhere.

Actually, I'm writing clues.

Oh, what for?
I'm going to surprise Billy.

A picnic under his dad's tree.
Sounds dull.

Dull-ightful. Romantic.
Yeah, it will be.

Billy has to work out
the clues and find me.

It'd be easier to let him follow
a trail of string, wouldn't it?

What you going to wear?
I don't know.

After the baby they all need
taking out a little bit.

I might have a dress
you could borrow.

And maybe a pair of nylons.

Really? Used to have a fancy fella
in London. He'd get me all sorts.

Hey, hey, my bag.

Doc,
I've been looking all over for you.

Finch. Just because a man
finds himself in loud disagreement

over the landlord's prices.

I need your help.

The County Show. Is it too late
to enter Chamberlain for best pig?

But it's in two days time.

It's his only chance.

See, he's been given a
notice for slaughter.

If he can win the County fair,

he'll be considered prime
breeding stock, won't he?

Oh, and be exempt from a grisly end.

Clever. So?

Mine's a pint?

No, the pig. Oh.

I'm sure they'll let him enter late.

What did he want? It was...

a medical matter.

Don't lie to me or I'll paint
you as guilty as him.

Now, I'll ask you one more time.

Has he worked it out yet?

To be honest, he
looks a bit confused.

I told you the clue
was too difficult.

"A big tea found with an R
for romance." That's obvious.

It is to you cos
you know the answer.

Tea with an R is tree! It's tree!

I know the answer. It's your
husband you've got to worry about.

You're going to have to tell him.

No, that'll take the fun out of it.

I suppose, he's got until
tonight to work it out.

I hope he does.

Last time I planned something,
Finch's ferret was under the bed

and he spent all night
trying to catch it.

Nearly forgot.

Oh, thank you so much.
They have got seams!

No cold tea on your legs tonight.

So, your fella? The one in London.

What happened to him?

He's still there.

I'm not.

Right, come on you lot, back to work.

This isn't going to get
the hay twined, is it?

And Connie, your
uniform hasn't arrived yet.

So you'll have to make do
till we get to the Manor.

He's going to be out there
for a while.

As far as I'm concerned, you brave
boys deserve to use the front door.

Thank you very much, ma'am.
Thank you.

Lady Hoxley? Pleased to meet you.

That's what I call you, right?

You can call me anything you like.

And whom do I have the
pleasure of addressing?

Mr Gillespie, I presume.

If you must smoke in my house,

does it have to smell like you're
burning rolled-up carpets?

Ellen Hoxley.

Diana Granville.

My sister.

Who I'm sure has work to do.
It's all in hand.

Lovely to meet you, Mr Gillespie.

Excuse me, we're ready in
the ops room when you are.

Business calls.

Ladies.

What do you think you're doing?

Livening up this mausoleum.

So you grab it in your hand gently.

Ooh blimey. Doesn't feel
like I thought it would.

That's what they all say.

Now, between your forefinger
and thumb, squeeze. That's it.

So are you, er,
doing anything special later?

Just concentrate on
what you're doing.

No, silly, I mean you and Bea.

Look, I'll be straight with you.

She is planning a surprise
and you've got to pretend that

you're surprised, even though I'm
telling you about the surprise, OK?

What are you talking about?
She's planning a picnic!

Under your dad's tree.
Well, why's she doing that?

Because... girls need romance.

Look, come here.

You pull her close.

Tell her she's the most
beautiful woman in the world.

Go on. Pretend I'm her.

You're the most beautiful woman
in the world.

Then you hook your hand
around her waist. Go on.

Now hold her close so all you can
feel is her heart beat, she looks so

beautiful she takes your breath away
and when the moment feels right,

lean in and...

Martin!

Martin! What happened?

He's not moving! Why's he not moving?

Billy? It was my fault.
I opened the gate and just...

caught him.

Martin, sweetheart.

Is this what they call
"taking the air"? It was.

Are you outside for a reason?

Think I asked first.

No, you didn't.

Well, apologies if I was
being kind of cryptic.

Waiting for my car. You?

The same.

Want to save gas and share a ride?

No, thank you.

I'm going a different way. Of course.

You should have asked which way I
was going first for that to work.

Could be a lot worse.

Does he have a headache?
Well, why don't you ask him?

It hurts a bit.

And I'm dizzy. He took quite a belt.
Didn't he, Billy?

Should go in a few days.

Bit of bed, bit of rest and then
he'll be playing with his building

blocks, tickedy boo, right as rain.
He's not three, you know.

Love? I'm fine.

You go upstairs and lie down then.

I'll take him.
Save your legs, Joyce. I'll do it.

Don't you think you've done enough?
Joyce.

Well?

It's just a little,
a little concussion.

No, it seems more than that, surely?

He can't even remember what happened.

Which, which, which one of us is
the, is the doctor, Mrs Reeves?

Hmm?

Chamberlain?

I understand the case has collapsed.

Your Ladyship.

How convenient they
can't find the trekker.

That's one of the troubles
with them. No fixed abode.

As for Miss Morrell.

She's also proved to be...

untraceable.

Without anyone to dispute
my version of events,

there wasn't a case, your ladyship.

Your version?

The truth...

what happened.

And you're the only one who knows.

The only one who was
there in the final moments.

Yes.

Which is why
I need to hear you say it.

I didn't kill your husband.

You all right, love?

I'm fine.

Do you remember what happened?

Erm, it's to the bathroom
and back today. Mum!

You heard what Doctor Morgan said.

Now, drink your tea and
read your comic.

Did you get any sleep? Thanks.

So how is he?

Same.

You know there's been
one of his lot in my family

since my great grandfather's day.

He's the closest thing to a
brother Billy's ever had.

I can't lose him, Bea. You won't.

See, he might just
seem like a pig to you.

Someone poisoned him.

Come on.

I know what I know.

So you're here on business?

My sister loves to
play the detective.

Mostly. Yes.
And you must be very important?

Must I? Being flown about
by the military like that.

Then yes, I'm very important.

And yet you're a civilian.

You could just ask why I'm here.

And would you tell me?
You don't know until you try.

For goodness sake!
Mr Gillespie, why are you here?

I'm head of a company.

We've got a contract
to build something

that everyone's very excited about.
The cocktail shaker!

The proximity fuse.

It's the most amazing
innovation in this whole war.

I understand it
works with radio waves?

OK, here's your shell.

In the old days, it'd hit
the target and explode.

Not that accurate
and minimal damage.

Still hurt your head, wouldn't it?

With this, the end of the shell
sends out radio waves,

and, as it approaches the target,

the waves bounce back. And when
they reach a particular frequency...

There's a big explosion?

Right.

I do love a big bang,
don't you, Jack?

You look smart.

I was going to say the same.
Have you used all the coupons?

It's Connie's. What do you think?

Nice.

So nice to be alone for a bit, eh?

We've been called in
for the night shift.

A Jerry plane came down
near Condover and we've got to,

got to search for survivors.

There goes my plan for tonight.

What plan?

You don't need clues for
everything, do you?

Finest tonic known to man.

The finest gin known to man.

Thanks, doc.

Will he, erm,

will he make it?

Trust me,

I'm a doctor.

The only place I could find
was on the edge of town.

And although I booked a double room,
I didn't realise I'd be sharing.

Place is infested with rodents.

Heck, they eat more
room service than I do!

Ghastly. You can't stay all the
way out there in that flea pit.

Well, there's nowhere else.

Believe me, I've knocked on
more doors than Joseph and Mary.

Well, there is... another option.

Isn't that right, Ellen?

You can't be serious?

The place is crawling
with yanks already.

What difference will one more make?

You'll love it here.

Just get my cigarettes.

You'll have to excuse my sister.

She was dropped on
her head as a child.

She's one
full-on dame, that's for sure.

I appreciate the offer,

and if you're ever in Chicago...

I don't think I'll be
travelling anywhere.

I'm sorry to hear
about your husband.

Thank you.

You miss him?

If it's any consolation,
I know what you're going through.

Maybe I should take up your offer.

Stay here. Save a lot of time.

It'd mean I could sort out...

everything. What do you think?

Well, I suppose we are allies.

What have I missed?

Were you talking about me?

Joyce may have all the excitement,

but at least I've got you here all

the time. Oh, thanks. I think.

No, I don't know what I'd do.

I mean, it's one thing dealing with
the baby and living under your dad's

roof when you're here,
but if you went away I'd...

Hey, I'm not going anywhere,
all right.

And I'll have that back.

Hey.
Tomorrow afternoon in the hayloft.

Don't be late.

OK, see you later.

Well, come on,
I don't want to miss John.

Oh, but this place is beautiful.

In the home when I was small,

I used to pretend I was a
lady in a house like this.

All this space. And the quiet.
You were in a children's home?

We can't all have parents, you know.

You look lovely, now come on.

And if you require any laundry,
please leave it out for Sarah.

Swell.

Mr Gillespie?

I don't want you to feel obliged.

Your sister backing you
into a corner over this.

As long as you're house trained,
I'm sure it'll be fine.

Ah, Joyce, I wondered if I might have

a word? Yes, your ladyship?

I was going to send a messenger,
but you'll save me the trip.

So, are you... a land girl?
What gave it away?

Have you been here for long?

Long enough to get back ache.

Are there just the two of you?
I thought you Yanks knew everything.

There's a lot I've got to learn.

John's not coming.

He's been called away a day early.

You'll see him soon though, eh?

You don't understand.

We never got to say goodbye.

Afternoon, sleepy head.
Did you find anything?

Just a burnt out Jerry plane.
Probably no survivors.

That's one bit of good news.

What do you mean?
Martin has started to remember.

Well, bits of it. He's chirping on
about being outside the cow shed.

Have you seen my dad?

With the pig.

Is he well enough to compete?

I hope he's well enough to win.

Otherwise...

Oh, I knew I should have put
up that no trespassing sign.

Where are you taking that pig?

Mind your own.
Can't take him to the show. He's ill.

Oh, and what would you
know about that then?

I don't
know what you're talking about.

Come a cropper now, haven't you?

I'm not through yet.
Give it up, woman.

Not letting you cheat
people out of food.

Stealing from others,
and in times of need.

If those judges knew he
didn't officially exist,

they wouldn't let him enter.

There's no time to lose.

I got to get there before she does!

Come on, come on!

Is that one of your dad's?

We'll have to write to him won't we,

tell him about your little accident?

You read it to me, go on.

No, you do it.

I can't see it.

Chamberlain. Pasture Farm.
Ah yes, late entry.

Go on, go on, lad.

Can be a bit stubborn sometimes.

Check the details.

Back...

back.

Pasture Farm.

Five large white.

One large white.

Well, well, well.

Why can't I go out?

Cos your mum said. Now
get your laughing gear round this.

Has anyone seen Billy?

You have used up all the rations
in the larder, haven't you?

We live on a farm.

And a little gift for after.

Thanks. No, it's, "Gee, thanks!"

You kissed Billy!

Settle, settle down.

Shh, settle down!

And here to announce the winner,

the generous lady who has allowed us

to pitch our tent on her land.

Lady Hoxley.

Come on lad. Come on...

Not now, son.

And

the winner is...

Chamberlain.

You kissed my husband?

Why would I want to do that?

Did you, or didn't you?

All right, but it was just a peck!

You keep your filthy hands off him.

I was trying to help you, stupid.

Come on. Oh, go and take a
running jump at yourself!

You are making a big mistake, girl.

Stop it, stop it right now. Stop it.

Do you both want to be digging
silage till the end of the war?

You stay away from him.

Where's Martin?

I am so proud of you.

Not putting him on your inventory.

That could just be slap
dash book keeping.

But actually
lying in the Parish records.

That could get you put
away for quite some time.

You told me he died at birth.

It's no big crime.

We didn't think he'd pull through.
Poorly little thing he was.

What are you going to do about it?
It's not what I'm going to do.

It's what you're going to do.

From this day forth,
you will dance to the Lord's tune.

No more drinking. No more gambling.

No missing church.

No slothfulness.

From now on, you lead a pure life.

You trade so much as a button

and I will send
the inventory to the authorities.

You'll be inside,
and he'll be pork chops.

Did you find him?

He's ill and you were
supposed to keep him in.

Why's it always my fault? Bea went
for me but you don't crib at her.

Because she didn't hurt my
son and lie about it, did she?

You had better buck your ideas up, girl,
or you're going to have me to deal with.

I've half a mind to send you
straight back to London.

Please don't do that.
Give me one good reason.

You won't hear
another peep out of me.

Good, well, we'll start
tomorrow with a clean slate.

I've got to find my son.

I lost my son. My only son.

He's all I had.

I'm sorry.

He didn't come back from
the battle at Kasserine Pass.

Truth is, I could have sent someone
else to deliver the munitions,

but I wanted to see Helmstead.

See where he was first stationed,

breathe the same air.

The same place...

father and son.

Here at separate times.

Like different grooves
on the same 78.

If there's anything I can do?

Maybe.

He may have got a
local girl pregnant.

But I don't know whether she kept
the baby or even where she is now.

All I know is that at
some point she was here.

And she was a land girl.

Bea?

There's something
I need to tell you.

I already know.

Where do you want to start?

The fact that you lied to me?

That you lied to Esther?

Or the fact that your head can be
turned by any woman who isn't me?

Come on, William.

According to our source,
the fight concerned a local girl.

Does your source know who she is?

He's not the most reliable.

Drink problem.

At the moment, that drunk
is the only lead I've got.

So you lean on him.

Find out if he knows something or whether he's just
angling for a free drink. Do whatever it takes.

Do you understand? Yes, sir.

Hey, he only went and won!

Good to know your priorities.

He's obviously ahead of
me in the pecking order.

Don't be daft.

I tried to talk to you earlier,

but,
but you didn't have time, did you?

Yeah, well, I had things on me mind.

That makes two of us.

Well, tell me now.

Son?

I got my papers today.

I've been called up.

Martin?

Martin?

TWIG SNAPS

Hello?

Is someone there?

BUCKET CLANGS

♪ While we're away we dream

♪ The way all soldiers do

♪ We dream of loving you

♪ While we're away

♪ We dream of loving you

♪ While we're

♪ Away. ♪

Synced & corrected... > Rambo Media Ltd