La Vida Despues del Reality (2023): Season 1, Episode 5 - Mamá busca trabajo - full transcript

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[groovy music plays]

Nené!

Don't be such a pussy! Don't call me Nené!
What are you doing here, man? Leave now.

You know that I'm
as faithful as an ugly girlfriend.

That's for you to know who is to trust
and who isn't in this life,

because that's now how
I see madam Marcela, right? Come on.

Stop right there. Oh, don't touch me.

BACK TO REALITY

[Marcela] So, won't you have a look
at my resume?

[teacher] But don't lose your faith.

See, it's not a big deal
if you don't have anything formal



nowadays, in these
times of such liquid modernity.

No, what's bad is being illiquid.

I wish everyone devoted
to teaching had your attitude, you know?

Oh, yes. But let me tell you,
I'm a teacher by vocation,

because I enjoy teaching,
and I do it for my kids! I do it for them.

You should have included
a full body photo in your resume.

With sexy clothes,
like you used to do in the reality show.

Well, I didn't think it was necessary.

You know? I prefer hiring women only,
because I get along well with them.

- So, you mean...
- No, no, Marcela, unfortunately not.

But anyway, thank you
very much for submitting your resume.

Thank you for your time.

What I need is to work.

And you aren't a mature man,



you are a dirty old man,
you should learn about respect!

[teacher] Okay, guys, we are done for now.
See you on Tuesday.

[students] Thank you, sir.

I was looking for you.

Eh, you are Manolo's aunt, right?

No, I'm not Manolo's aunt.

I'm Manolo's wife,

- which is a very different thing.
- Wife?

And I'm here to have a conversation
from woman to little girl.

Young lady.

Honestly, I have to go now,
because I forgot to give something

- to my teacher, so...
- No, young lady,

sit right there,

be quiet until you listen
to what I came to tell you.

- Don't be disrespectful.
- What are you going to do to me?

That depends entirely on you.

If you insist on keeping Manolo,

listen to me,
I'll kill you off and eat your body.

Do you understand,

or you need me to write it for you?

What are we going to do, Gabriel?
Nothing, they are calling.

- What are we going to do?
- Look at the ratings.

No man, this can't be happening!

She has to call! She's in a bad situation.

If they don't call,
she and her family will starve away!

But who the hell does she think she is?

Tell me, who the hell? Lady Di?

What kind of moron would reject
such an offering as we have made?

Seems suicidal. But wait, I have an idea.

[sighs]

Call us, Marcela.

We need you, you need us,

ratings need you.

- Have you lost your mind or what?
- Call us! No.

It's something we tried with Don Luis,
the master's guy.

- Do you know who is going to call us?
- Yes.

- We'll be fired. Because the boss is...
- Don't distract me, don't distract me!

Call, Marcela.

[phone rings]

- Did it work?
- No, it's my mom.

You idiot!

[upbeat music plays]

Hey, mommy?

[laughs]

[man] Hmm, wow.

Oh, it's something
that I don't understand:

how come a school teacher
wants to be a personal trainer now?

Because I think life
consists of opportunities and cycles.

And, for example,
I've just finished the teaching cycle,

and now this
awesome opportunity has come up.

Uh-huh.

[laughs]

You were fired from the school
because of the scandal

at the reality show, is that right?

[both laugh]

I think my reputation right now would
really help you to attract customers.

Do you think so?

It seems to me that you
were kicked out really quickly.

And it was because you got
involved with a dude that was too much.

Hey! I didn't mess with any young man.

No, and if that was the case,
how would that be harmful for you?

Well, look,
I think so many things are happening here,

and we've got to respect
the character of this place.

What you did is too shocking,
I can't risk this place getting closed.

Is it too shocking?
I'll tell you loud and clear. Shocking?

You bet, you hypocrite!

I'm a better person than you.

I'm a better person

than all these artificial people
that come here to burn fat.

I'm a decent woman.

Sweetheart, you resume.

Here's a complimentary pass
for you to come and train one day.

I think you need it.

Oh!

See you soon!

Roberto is going to be
a part of a phase in my life,

which I've left behind in the past.

Back in the day, I was very young,

and I wanted to explore new things,

like experiencing life, finding myself.

You know?

Well, you are young,
you are from this new generation,

and surely you'll understand
a bit better what I'm saying.

No, Cucho,
but I don't want to be in that club.

I have always had a clear
idea about what I wanted in life.

Yes, of course, please.

You don't have to give any explanation
to us, do you understand?

Thank you, Sarita,
but I'd like to give it to you.

Because this has gone out of hand,

you know?

And the last thing I want
is for you both...

...to be affected, that's it.

Okay, and why didn't you do anything?

Because of shame or what?

No.

I don't regret any of that,

it was a moment in my life...

...that I lived...

...and that it came up came up naturally.

[Miguel] It was honest.

And I didn't tell you anything,
because I didn't...

I didn't think it was necessary...

...okay?

And as I said, it was a long time ago,
many, many years ago.

I thought it was in the past.

And have you ever
been in love with my mom?

Since the day I met her.

And I'm still in love with your mom,
head over heels.

All dirty old men in the country
think they're entitled

to stare at me,

harass me, and all stuck-up women
think they can look at me

over their shoulder,
in a patronizing way. Idiots.

How unfair, my friend!

Because if you had enjoyed it at least,
well, that's fine. But having to bear

the brunt when
you didn't even have a good time, oh!

Exactly, and suffering unemployment,
because who is going to hire me?

when my image has been marred.

Everybody thinks
I'm going to damage their business.

Maybe what you need is a job
where your image doesn't count much.

Oh, yeah? Where, for example,
at the KGB or the CIA?

like being an undercover agent
outside of the country!

Because here, in Colombia,
everybody knows me,

people recognize me in the streets!

Well, if they see you, yes.

And how won't they see me?

I have a friend who manages a call center.

Maybe you could work there
without anyone knowing that you are

the cradle-snatcher fitness lady
from the reality show.

It's not what I say,
it's what gossip shows are saying.

[energetic music plays]

But they also say you look fine.

Roberto, I want to be
completely honest with you.

If there's anyone
that I want to thank for all the support,

for being by my side in such
a difficult moment that I'm going through,

that person is you.

But?

But you are so stubborn!
Really, you very stubborn.

How many times
I have to tell you that I love my wife,

and that I'm going to fight for her,
especially in this moment,

in which we are going through such
a bumpy road, for her and for my family.

Do you really want me out of your life?

Oh, my God!

Why are you so stubborn?

Look, it's all good, all good.
Look, my intuition is very sharp.

It quickly warns me where I shouldn't be.

But let me be clear about something.

I'll be right by your side
the day you need me.

The day you need me,
I'll be right here for you, man.

So, today I leave through that door,

but it won't be closed,
at least on my part, you hear me?

Thank you very much, indeed.
I really appreciate it.

Thank you.

Fine. Okay, I'm leaving.

[sighs]

Love you!

[groovy music plays]

These would be your terms of employment.

What's most important is keeping calm,
no matter what the client says,

do everything possible
so they won't cancel the service

they have and are using from the company.

Yes, Mona,
like every call center you call.

They sweet-talk to you,
then they transfer you to another person,

and then another person,
until you are fed up and hang up.

Exactly. Any questions?

No. What I have to do is pretty clear,
because it happened to me many times,

I've been through this a lot.

But here's the thing, I'm not
very convinced by the working terms,

because I guess it's too much stress,
too much work for a very low salary.

Oh, well, you are the first person
I hear complaining, because,

you know, we're lucky,
we have a lot of people in line,

waiting to get a position to work with us.

Well, I can imagine,

because with those working conditions,
personnel rotation must be excessive.

A lot of young people
without working experience.

Right, Marcela, you know,
youth is an advantage for sure,

and you should be grateful
for receiving a job offer,

because of your age and your reputation
for being a cradle robber,

[Miriam] you are very lucky, aren't you?

No, dear Miriam, I'm sorry, but being
a cradle snatcher is normal nowadays.

Besides, we are all the same age, right?

Yes, but at least you are
aware of that, not this lady,

who is old and so out of place.

- How about that?
- You are an exploiter, lady.

Do you really think that I'm an exploiter?

- Yes.
- Nobody forced you to come here

asking for a job.
I opened the door to you.

Yes, you did, you know why?

Because you've got
a sweatshop here, full of slaves.

Yes, they are slaves for you,

- One moment, please, one moment.
so you can rip off the poor users

that are calling for an answer
to companies that will never

- meet their needs.
- What are you saying

- about my collaborators,
- You mean, your slaves.

No, you have no right
to rip off people like that.

[Laura] Okay, okay,
you are absolutely right,

- I knew Miriam was a bit abusive
- Really?

- but that was too much.
- No.

- Oh, we had to explore that possibility.
- Look, I'm sorry,

I know she's your friend, and you took
the time to come with me,

but I think these
call centers are living hell.

I was already not in the mood
to come here, I had this feeling.

No please, forget it,
don't worry about me.

The problem is that now we do have
to think where you are going to get a job.

Where would I get a job? Can't you see
that the lady says I'm an abuser?

- Okay, okay.
- It's serious.

Exactly, Marce, please listen,

listen to this clear message
the universe is sending to you.

But I can't listen to it,
because I'm not an astrologer.

Well, that's why you should return
to that reality show,

yes ma'am, accept that ton of money
they are offering you, please.

Look, if they ruined your life,
well, they should be the ones to fix it,

don't you agree?

We are going to be fired.

Are you good at acting and giving advice?

Because judging by our situation,
look, look, look, look.

we'll have to begin
to upload funny videos on the internet.

Oh, please, save all that bullshit,
because none of us is funny,

none of us, brother,

and I don't think
that a tutorial for how to cut your veins

after a failure
will be a success on the internet.

Well, people on the internet
are so miserable.

I bet they'll love it,
we'll become really popular.

Look, why don't you better
start doing something?

Do some videos for proms,

for weddings, that kind of stuff,
because that's what you used

- to do before coming here, didn't you?
- Yes, here I've got the card.

[phone rings]

Oh, give me the phone.

Hello?

[upbeat starts playing]

Yes, yes, tell her that it's okay.

Marcela is back.

- No.
- Yes.

Good afternoon, Miss.

[happiness mutter]

[imitates an engine]

Relax, relax, relax.

Listen to me,

those who look hungry don't eat,

you hear me? Don't eat.

Don't be nervous, if they're here,
it's because they need us.

So, now we set the terms, we do.

Okay, thank you.

[Ariel] Here she comes.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon. I'm Laura Ortiz,

the agent, representative and manager
of Mrs. Marcela Londoño.

[groovy music plays]

Milena!

Ma'am, don't do anything to me,
please, I beg you.

- Don't push me over!
- Relax, relax, it's me! There's no ma'am.

Your wife!
And you stay away from me, Manolo.

Which wife? Which wife?

Your sugar mommy, or aunt.

- No, no.
- You know,

I'd rather not speak with you
or anyone, so goodbye.

Milena. Look, let me explain.
Milena, where are you going?

No, man, what do you want
from me now, Milena? Come on.

Three times what she was offered,

plus royalties for broadcasting
in foreign channels

and streaming websites.

Don't you think it's a little much?
Mrs. manager?

Besides, Mrs. Londoño and I would like
to approve all the edited episodes

- before they are broadcast.
- Oh, no,

but you're getting in my area.

And we'll also demand special rates
for those scenes that are kind of hot,

if you want to broadcast them,
like tongue kisses, hugs, touching...

Laura...

Look, Laura.

You are not Quincy Jones,
and she's not Michael Jackson.

And I've been to your place,

where I was able to see some things
that allow me to think

that you can't put any conditions.

I won't let you disrespect
the self-esteem of my client.

No, I won't let you come here
and talk as you please.

you wanna be so stubborn?

Okay, so we are presenting
our initial offer.

If Marcela comes to the show,
she has to do what we want,

following a script.

She won't come here to play
the role of an old virgin lady,

because that's not her.
Do you take it or leave it?

[phone rings]

Okay, gentlemen, the thing is that Marcela
is the spice your reality show requires.

Or is it untrue that after she left,
ratings went down drastically?

What did you say?

That I wasn't prepared
for this negotiation,

you are the ones that need us.

[phone rings]

Answer that!

[phone rings]

Hello?

[woman] Good morning,
is this Marcela Londoño?

Depends on who's calling.

Let me introduce myself.
My name is Vanessa Bernal,

[Vanessa] from
‟Kadesh, responses for women.”

And what's that? An NGO?

Oh, because, look ma'am,
I've got into so much trouble lately,

and I'd like to make it clear
that I don't sympathize with ideologies

that are against women's rights.

Wait, Marcela, wait.

I've been trying
to find you for days, everywhere,

and now that I've found you,
I'd like to have a conversation with you.

I have a job offer for you,
which could change your life.

[groovy music plays]

[Ariel] Marcela, be serious.

This is not the way
to leave a negotiation.

My client has no comments,
so please, excuse us.

But why you have to be so radical?

What's the matter?
We can have talk, reach an agreement.

What did you say?
Take it or leave it. So, we leave it.

Madam Marcela, say something, please.

Damn it! This is your fault.

But why? I didn't say anything.

Exactly, my friend.

You didn't say anything,
because you are of no help.

We are going to get fired,
we are going to get fired.

I am very understanding with my clients,

but I honestly don't understand why
you had to cancel the negotiation.

We were so close of closing a deal.

Yeah, we were very close,
especially with that guy

who wanted me to shoot porn scenes, right?

And by five pesos, like before.

My friend,
negotiating is like going into labor.

Remember that you told me
that when you are feeling the worst pain

and thinks you won't be able to
take it anymore, the baby is born.

You see its face
and forget about everything.

- And what is she looking at?
- Yes, ma'am,

this is who you think she is,
and I am who I am.

Although no lady here is brave
enough to be themselves, but you feel

- entitled to send those looks?
- Laura, no. Come on, Laura

Sit down, I'm sorry,
I'm ashamed, I'm very ashamed.

What's the matter with you? Here,

you are not a manager,
you are a bodyguard, go figure.

- Happy to help.
- Calm down.

- I want to hit her.
- Sorry.

Listen Marcela, I can't stop saying
that what you did in that reality show

was absolutely historical!

That's what this country needs!

More empowered women.

Warrior ladies,
who are not afraid of anything

Wow, listen to that, that's impressive.

Better, it's strange now,

because when I was going
to the reality show,

everyone would treat as if I was a hero,

and now that I'm back,
everyone is treating me like a...

Like a human hero.

But listen to me, I have a big,
big question, what does Kadesh do?

Is it a love store?

Because I'm seeing
very interesting things here.

Yes, you are right.

We are much more than a shop
that sells underwear and sex toys.

We sell plenitude and happiness to women.

In Kadesh, we have the solution
for a very usual problem

among women: sexual dissatisfaction.

But you are not offering
a complete array of solutions,

because it's not always
about dissatisfaction.

I mean, has any customer
reported problems with diaphragms?

Well, except for hormonal cases,

which have to do
with pharmaceutical companies mainly,

we offer all kinds of barrier methods
for birth control, and the utmost quality.

No, no,
I'm not talking about that diaphragm.

I mean the muscle used for breathing,
because it's like...

Laura!

Mona, women not only die
by doing conventional things, they also...

You're digging yourself
deeper into a hole.

Madam Vanessa. Shame on you.

Apart from this,
I have a question: Why did you call me?

Because I don't understand
what I can do at Kadesh.

I mean, would I be a salesperson?
At a store? Distribution center?

No, no.

The company needs
to approach their customers

and offer a more
personalized assistance...

For that purpose,
to provide a more personalized assistance

at a more intimate place,
I need a more audacious,

controversial woman...

That's why I need you.

[Laura] Are you sure
you don't want a little bite?

No, I'm satisfied, I've eaten enough.

I can't eat anything else.

However, being around
of all that plastic motivation

left me really hungry.

My dear, are you really going
to be capable of taking that position

of sex toy salesperson?

[Door knocking]

Are you expecting someone?

It must be the security guard.
Will be right back.

I'm coming!

- We need to talk.
- Oh!

Shut up! Your mother is upstairs!

Promise you'll be quiet.

Shush!

Let's go outside to talk.

[Manolo] Are you out of your mind?
Let me go.

[phone rings]

[exhales]

Hello?

[Miguel] Hello.

Hello.

[Miguel] How are you?

I'm fine.

I wanted to tell you that
I spoke with the kids

[Miguel] about this situation
with Roberto,

and I also spoke with him.

I told him, well,
I told him to leave, and he did.

He seemed reluctant
to talk about it at first,

[Miguel] but then I told him that...

...I love you,
and that you are the woman of my life,

and that I wanted to be with you forever,
and he said "oh, okay" and then he left.

Well, that's cool, isn't it?

[Miguel] Mona, please come back.

I know that you in this moment
don't feel like...

[breathes in]

like coming back these days,
and I understand you.

But I know what I have to ask.
Please, come back.

I don't, I don't know,
I'm very confused, Miguel, really.

I don't want to talk
about this right now. I...

...I can't tell you anything for sure,

I'm sorry.

Believe me, I'm even more sorry than you,

believe me.

Bye.

[sad music plays]

[sobs]

[Manolo] No, let me go, Laura.
You are hurting me!

- Why do you have to be this intense?
- Well, say what you came to say.

Okay, I don't know how to tell you,
that's the problem.

Just let it go, be normal. Anyway,
you are very good at giving excuses.

Also, I'm curious to know
what you are going to make up

to justify why you behave
so badly with me these days.

Yes? I wish, I wish it was that easy
to make up the lies you are saying

that I always say.

But it's not, on the contrary,
it's something really serious

that is making me shiver,
to the core of my own personality,

- Laura.
- Oh, no. Please, start all over again,

because you know what?

You are trying to make me feel sorry
for you, and that's not going to work.

No, I don't want you to feel.
I want to be honest.

But you go crazy when someone tells you

- something you don't agree with.
- Crazy? Me?

Yes, crazy.
Well, okay, yes, it's true, it's true.

I'm behaving badly and, like you say,
I've been trying to avoid you,

but that's because I think
I'm going through a crisis,

and the reason is an identity conflict,

an identity conflict of a sexual nature.

- What?
- Yes,

I think I'm experiencing exactly
what my father did when he was my age.

I don't know, I feel it's
some kind of generational karma.

It's one of those issues you can't break,

because, you know,
I want to sleep with you one day,

I want to undress you and do
things that you'd really enjoy, yes.

But on the next day,
I don't feel any of that, you know?

And what I need
is your support and all your love,

especially now that I've met a classmate.
His name is Octavio and, well,

- I think I like him, and I'm confused.
- Oh, Manolo, please, look at my face.

Do I look like an idiot or what?

Because if you think I'm going to buy
this faggot story, you're wrong.

No, what faggot? Careful,
that's homophobia, and it's my sexuality.

You are such a clown! What do you think?

That you are going to mock me?
No, you are totally wrong.

Like my father said:
Nobody messes with me and Mataluna.

Hey. Why do you say all that nonsense?

You are always so rude,
trying to make me feel bad.

Look, stop messing with me like that,
because I want you to know

that before you were born,

I had dealt with more
than one dude like you.

Were there other men before me?

- And you are telling me this now? See?
- Oh no.

You're always
making me suffer with your words.

Suffer?

[laughs]

You have no idea what suffering is.

But now you will know,

because I'm going
to become your worst nightmare.

Get ready!

Huh! Now this lady is really mad.

So?

What are you doing?

I was fixing some misunderstanding
with an annoying neighbor,

she's nothing but some drama queen,
a trouble maker.

Oh, those are always there.

[TV show music plays]

What are you doing?

I'm watching this torture.

[Announcer] They must compete
in an elimination challenge

to decide who should go back home.

In all honesty, here, between us,

is it true that you didn't have anything
with that muffin?

No, I'm telling you.

That kid is really sweet, he's a good boy,

honestly, he's very mature for his age,
but I didn't have anything with him,

he's like my son.

[sighs]

Hey.

I've made up my mind.

I'm going to
be a salesperson for sex toys,

I'll work at that sex shop.

[upbeat music plays]

[Vanessa] Okay, dear Marcela,
here we have our best kit,

the briefcase of happiness,

which contains the artifacts that are most
wanted by our customers,

which lead to a plentiful life of joy.

[Marcela] Oh, plentiful!
I did have a plentiful life,

I did, but it fell apart really quickly,
not for lack of sex,

because Miguel and I
were always willing to do it.

What?

No, no, don't pay attention to me.

Marcela

- Ma'am. Yes ma'am.
- Please listen to me.

It's very important that,
as a door-to-door saleswoman,

you know all the benefits of our products.

So, our best kit,
the briefcase of happiness,

- would contain the following items:
- Yes ma'am.

Multi-orgasmic gel,
used to maximize pleasure,

retardant gel for premature ejac,
perfume with pheromones

to drive your partner wild,
dildoes, vibrators,

same function as the dildo
but with batteries,

- with or without remote control.
- What if you lose the control remote?

That's exactly the idea, Marcela.

- To lose control.
- Oh, yeah.

Flavored oils, such as raspberry,
mint, strawberry, banana.

- Grape?
- Yes.

And multi-orgasmic bubble gum.

Same purpose, but chewable.

Now, tell me, Marcela...

Had you heard about these products
that I've just mention to you?

Well, I had heard some about it,

but that's it.

Okay. No problem.

Let's do the following:

you will take
this briefcase right here home,

read the instructions and,
most importantly,

you are going to try each of these items
with your husband or whomever you want.

I'd love to try all this with my husband,

but we are not in the best moment
of our relationship, you know.

Marcela,

think of this as a good opportunity
to build a bridge between both of you.

Yes, well...

He might accept the challenge, who knows.

Invite him to play.

Besides, the success of a good salesperson

is having previous experience
as a consumer.

So, take your briefcase

and have a good time!

[groovy music plays]

I've called this exceptional meeting,

which hasn't been scheduled
anywhere in the house,

to inform you about something affecting
every one of us in the same way.

Our future depends on this situation.

Also, I want you to hear it from me,

I don't want it to be a secret,
because we already know

how bad secrets are for families.

Okay.

Here's we go.

From now on,

I'll be working
as a door-to-door salesperson...

...for a sex shop.

Sex shop?

Yes, I said sex shop.

No, no, no, how come?

My own mother
is working in the sex industry!

What's going on
with this family and its values?

Stop yelling, Manolo.

What is happening
with this family and its values? For real,

blondie, please explain,
because I understand perfectly

what is to be a door-to-door salesperson,

but the other part, please do me
the favor and explain it to me.

Oh, stop with all the drama you both!

Okay, Manolo Eugenio,
you are already a grownup,

same as you, Miguel Ratón.

The point here is that I do this
or we get evicted from the apartment,

you know this. Or we'll starve away.
Your call. What do we do?

No, mom. You can count with me
to do whatever. What do you need?

My dear, I need your support.
You don't need to do anything, thanks.

Oh, okay.

[Miguel] Mona, Mona,

- blondie I want to tell you something.
- What is it?

- Mona, hold on one moment, please.
- What?

Thank you. Mona, look at me.

Eh, it's late. Why don't you stay?

Oh, well, no, I don't know.

Mona, I know
we are not in our best moment,

but we are not enemies.

Look, I promise you that you'll
have nothing to worry about with me.

Most importantly, you are going to try
each of these items with your husband.

Okay, if I stay,
it would be under one condition.

- Okay.
- Yes?

- Yes.
- I want to...

...I need to ask you something

about my new job,

see if you can help me somehow.
If so, I could stay, yes.

[‟Mujer Divina” playing]