LOL, qui rit, sort ! (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Une soirée entre amis - full transcript

What was that? What do you think?

-It didn't feel good.
-Have a guess.

I think, uh, Nazeem's angry.

Prime Video. Hello.

-Hello. Philippe Lacheau speaking.
-Who?

The guy from Babysitting.

Never heard of it. I don't have kids.

Forget it. I'm calling because

I've had a superb idea for a new show.

Ten comedians
but they're not allowed to laugh.

Killer idea, right?



You're talking about LOL,

we've already done that
in lots of countries.

Ah, that was you. I don't know,

we could adapt in France.
We could do it in Paris.

Okay, why not?

But we'll need to find
10 exceptional artists.

Don't worry, I'll take care of it.

LOL
YOU LAUGH, YOU'RE OUT

Hello, everyone.

This is where LOL begins.

In this laboratory of humor,
created by yours truly,

where the rule is simple.
If you laugh, you're out.

For six hours, 10 comedians need to
outperform each other

for an audience whose only goal
is not to laugh.



And to make things interesting,
we have some surprises.

Otherwise, it would be too easy,
right, Daniel?

Ah! Is it starting?

No, they're not here yet. Calm down.

It's amazing, isn't it?

Yeah, you've done great.

The last one laughing will win
50,000 euros for their charity.

But, of course, the others
won't leave empty-handed.

Thanks to these 50 cameras,

I won't miss anything at all
of what they may do or say.

They will finally find out
what life is like in North Korea.

Throughout the competition, I will observe
them from my control center.

In fact, I believe that
our first competitors are arriving.

Reem and I know each other
very, very well.

CONTROL CENTER

Julien Arruti is a childhood friend.

Luckily, or unluckily for me.

-It's beautiful.
-Very cool.

The concept is wicked.

It's a real challenge to make
someone laugh without laughing along.

THE LIVING ROOM

THE KITCHEN

THE STAGE

THE DRESSING ROOM

It's somewhere between Dubai
and Kim Kardashian's place.

The walls are gold, so classy.

It's incredible.

Inès Reg, ladies and gentlemen.

They have all come with suitcases or bags

and they could pack anything they wanted.

I don't know what they've planned.

I'll find out as everyone else does.

-Hello!
-Hello!

Hi there!

Welcome to our home!

If I understand the rules,

we're not allowed to laugh,
giggle, chuckle.

It's kind of my job to do that.

You know, you make me very nervous.

I think that you are my Kryptonite.

-Careful, that sounds flirty.
-True.

Hello!

-Hello.
-Wow!

How are you?

Bérengère Krief, ladies and gentlemen.

And Kyan Khojandi. Wicked.

-How's it going, good-looking?
-You, too, good-looking.

Juju and Kyan look like brothers,
don't they?

Lucky they're not wearing the same shirt,

because then we'd be lost.

-How is it going?
-Fine. And you?

I love this game.

I can't wait to see how it will turn out.

Wanna suck my dick?

I'll leave you with my grandma.

I came to win.

Hello! Ah, Tarek Boudali!

So handsome!

-Thanks.
-Welcome.

You smell good.

When I entered the room,

I switched off the laughter.

Not everybody can do that.

I mean, I'm a bit like a sort of

old Shaolin master.

Oh, not bad!

We're going to have lots of fun.

But we can't laugh, that's right.

Well, let's get started.

Hello!

-Hi!
-Hello!

Can you mute Reem's microphone?

We can't do six hours like that!

What a welcome.

I've never seen anything like this.

There are two espresso machines
in your room.

Oh, no?

With a sea view?

-Not really, right?
-How much did you pay?

My father encouraged me.

He told me, "That's right, sweetie,

"this will give you a challenge."
It's going to be hell.

We can't laugh,
but there's funny stuff in there.

There's humor inside.

Hi, everyone.

-Wow!
-Hi!

The presidential couple.

Absolutely, yes. Thank you.

I am stressed,

but I'm so happy to join this adventure.

Hello!

My job is to make people laugh. Here,

I'm going to be with people
who can't laugh.

So, really, I've come to flop.

So I'm telling myself,
"This is for a good cause."

That's why I've agreed
to put my ego aside.

Otherwise...

I wonder what everyone's dressed up as.

-And the last guest.
-Hello!

Oh, so handsome!

I love it. The best entrance of the game.

Welcome.

No one's in costume?

I chose to make myself ridiculous
to make others laugh.

Turned out

that I was ridiculous.

I see no way to keep from laughing.

From now on...

We really have no class.

It's not possible.

It's fantastic

having all these people in the same room.
I love it.

It is time to go explain the rules.

And you're going to get to work...

-Hello!
-Ah, there he is.

Philippe Lacheau.

Hello. Thank you.

I am very honored to be here today.

You are the best in French comedy.

At least, that's what your agents say.

Let me explain the rules of the game.

You cannot laugh.

That is, if I catch someone laughing,

I'll press my buzzer
and you'll hear this noise.

Ah, damn.

You like that, huh?

-Freaky, huh?
-I like it.

I will then come and give him or her

a yellow card,
indicating the first warning.

If I catch that same person
laughing a second time,

you'll hear the same sound,
except this time, I'll give...

A red card.

Indicating, if you don't know soccer...

-Expulsion!
-Expulsion.

Also very important.

At any time, each of you
can take out your wild card.

What is the wild card?
Well, for three minutes,

you can come on this stage to perform.

Do whatever you want, a dance, a sketch,

whatever you want
to make the others watching laugh.

So that's a big advantage.

One last thing.
When you hear this noise...

It will mean that the game has begun.

-Bye!
-Thanks, Philippe!

Thank you, Kyan, for clapping.

Enjoy.

At that moment, I thought,
"You're in trouble."

That toot-toot-toot was so funny!

I'm starting to get cold feet

and he hasn't even actually
pressed the button yet. Horrible.

Let's get started.

-There it is.
-That's it, it's begun.

It's started.

As soon as he presses the
button, we all get up. It's crazy.

It's funny because
we're scattering like insects

going back to their nests.
Like a defense mechanism.

This is where it gets fun.

Look at them. Look at them!

They don't want to talk
to each other anymore.

At this moment, our brain knows
that it can't laugh anymore,

so, well, it's going crazy.

It's hard, huh?

Let's have a snack.

It's not that I'm hungry,
I'm just trying not to laugh.

Everybody's got
their own strategy. Whatever.

Ah, Tarek's going to attack.

Yes, a little bit of ambiance.

I heard the music
and I thought I'd do a rap.

Either I'd really suck,
or I'd hit it right off the bat.

Yeah, yeah

I land in the hood, hood, in a helicopter

It's cool to win them over

He sucks, but it's so funny.

Honestly, he's killing me.

It was so stupid.

I start to dance, I join in the circle
I arrive in France...

Sport in common

-It's funny, very funny.
-Very, very funny.

Sport in common
I am, oh!

I am the king of the world
That's it!

Very, very funny.

That's it! That's it!

I need to change the music.

That's it! That's it!

Thank God. That was torture. I'm crying.

It's torture, shit.

Things like that make me laugh.

I arrive in the hood, in a helicopter

I suddenly arrive to win them over

I enter the dance
I join the circle

I arrive on public transportation

Tarek is going for it.
He's going to make them crack.

Change the music.
I'm going to change the music.

I am the king of the world

-You know every song?
-Yeah.

That's crazy.

I arrive in the hood, hood
In a helicopter

I suddenly arrive to win them over

It sucks. It sucks. It really sucks.

I enter the dance, I join the circle
I arrive on public transportation

They're good. They managed to not laugh.

I'm the king of the world

I'm the king of the world

You can find Tarek every Saturday night
at your local supermarket.

This doesn't make you laugh that much.

No, but I see it's getting to you.

No, but what's funny is watching
Bérengère. That's what's funny.

The song's not funny, but watching
Bérengère run away from Tarek...

-Yeah, that's true.
-Like the plague, that's what's funny.

Tarek really unsettled me.

I started to panic.

I felt like a lamb with the wolves.

I though I'd get eaten up.

Well done.

Bravo, Tarek. He was really good.

Bravo, bravo.

Seriously.

You're incredible.

And that wasn't even his wild card.

Tarek. Tarek, bravo. Bravo, Tarek.

Tarek, bravo. Bravo, Tarek.

Bravo, Tarek.

Bravo, Tarek. Tarek, bravo.

That's right.

-Oh, something is going on.
-Tarek?

Tarek? Bravo.

Bravo, Tarek.

Is there something going on
between you two?

-What? You're not hot?
-No.

Not right now.

-Are you sure?
-Yes.

If so, you can get undressed.

Tarek, bravo.

If you're hot, take off your jacket.

Bravo, Tarek.

Seriously, bravo.

Kyan isn't letting up.

They're holding strong for now.

While Gérard is coming back
in his new costume.

Watch out, entrance.

What movie is this?

-The Chorus?
-Avatar?

A Scout in the Forest?

Damn. Always Scout!

You win!

Bérengère...
He’s a scout on a scooter.

But he's not a scout on a scooter.

He totally wants to eliminate her.

Ah, Bérengère, you can't do that.

Do what?

Cover your face like that.

I'm just breathing.

Bérengère is on the edge.

-I'm just...
-She's gonna last a long time.

I say, what if we all
gang up on Bérengère...

No, calm down, you guys.

Poor Bérengère.

I don't want her to be eliminated now.

Can you sing La Bamba, Julien?

La Bamba? Yes, I can sing that.

La Bamba! La Bamba!

Three, four...

I'm leaving.
I feel like I'm going to laugh.

Oh, stupid!

Go to the bathroom.
We'll say you have diarrhea.

There, look. Ah!

She's going to crack...

She cracked!

What does that mean again?

It means that someone laughed.

First alarm. Here we go.

That means we can laugh now?

Now, we can laugh.

Motherfucker, you killed me with your rap.

I think I'm doing the replay, guys.

No, really?

I think I'm the replay.

No, Hakim, no.

It's me.

-No, it's me.
-Maybe it's Bérengère.

Your rap was so funny. So funny.

I start to dance
I join in the circle

I arrive on public trans... Portation

I arrive on public trans... Portation

-He's here!
-He's coming.

Someone laughed.

Now you're not laughing, huh?

But you knew the rules.

You can't laugh.

Not even a little bit.

What happened? We all laughed?

Who do you think it was?

We're not going to snitch.

I'm not snitching, but I think it was her!

-You think it was Inès?
-I think it was me.

Snitching on yourself.

I think it was Bérengère.

You don't know?
The first laugh of the competition,

the first one to screw up was...

REPLAY

I'm leaving. I feel like laughing.

Go to the bathroom.
We'll say you have diarrhea.

There, look!

Shit!

My little kitten.

My God.

You got a yellow card.

Let's go, try again!

You have to be very careful, very focused.

-So, Bérengère... First warning.
-Okay.

Maybe we can do a cheer for Bérengère.

-Bérengère! Bérengère! Bérengère!
-Oh, no. She's crying.

You're crying!

-It's just the stress.
-Really?

You're so emotional.

I just looked at you. I feel guilty.

Don't cry, it's just a game.

You have another chance. It's not a red.

Let's get back to it.
Good luck to everyone.

It had to be me. I'm a little upset.

I'm still really upset to be the first.

I'm sad for the charity,
and my reaction is to cry.

For the others,
it looks like I'm at rock bottom.

But I know it'll be good for me.

Poor Bérengère. Can you imagine
what Philippe is putting her through?

Let's go, back to it.

And we're back on.

It's started again.

Go!

You don't talk anymore, okay?

Yes, I suggest that we do that
between the breaks.

Do I have a booger?

No, but you have some long hairs.

-I have a booger, right?
-You could take all that hair...

-Yeah, I'm lying.
-Don't cut me off.

-You're looking...
-I was talking. Don't cut me off.

-You want me to take a video...
-Don't cut me off.

This is a duel
between Alexandra Lamy and Kyan Khojandi.

Do you want some of my hair?

Or my pubic hair?

It will be just as curly.

The hair in my ass or the hair in my nose?

The hair in your nose.
That would be cuter.

Alexandra is good. Very good.
She never says no to an improv,

she's never flushed off.
Respect, that's it.

I think it's sexy.

-Being bald?
-Yeah.

-I'd like to have hair.
-But you look good?

That's nice. Thank you.

-I'm not wild.
-Not wild, but sexy.

Maybe I'm funny.

Laughter is sexy.

I love to play and play off someone

because it's the respondent
who entertains us, too.

It's like, "Oh, yeah, you're doing this?
Okay, fine.

"Come on, I'll get you back."
This is what we love.

Lines from Gérard's movies.

Yeah, you're doing well.

Something like, "Okay!"

-No, that's not it...
-"Crazy!"

-That's not Gérard.
-"Eat it! Eat it!" That is Gérard.

No, that's Christian Clavier.

How can we be wrong about the classics?

-That's Gérard. No?
-Gérard!

-Yes?
-"Okay!" Is that you?

Yeah.

"Okay! Crazy!"

-"What is it?"
-Yeah, that's Gérard.

"Eat it! Eat it!" Go on, do it.

-"Eat it! Eat it!"
-That's Gérard.

No, it's not Gérard.

-"Friend as a pig!"
-That's it.

"Okay!"

Gotcha! All for an "Okay!"

-Here comes Mr. Lacheau.
-What's going on?

You're not allowed to laugh,
but someone laughed.

Let's find out who slipped up.

Let's watch.

Gérard? "Okay!" That's you, right?

Yes.

"Okay! Crazy!"

-"What is it?"
-Yeah, that's Gérard.

"Okay!"

Oh, yeah, she laughed! Ah, okay.

Now there's no holding back.

No holding back.

She fucked herself.

Yes, that's obvious.

-She can't deny it.
-She laughed.

Ah, yes, she laughed.

Now, I think that clearly...

I think it's final, Inès.

The 26,000th "Okay" from Kyan,

who looks at Gérard to make a dedication,

like "I respect your career..."

But inside of me,
it's a fireworks display.

I exploded laughing. I couldn't hold back.

-Oh, my God.
-I'm sorry.

You laughed, but you did it all the way.

No, that's okay, it's my fault.

I'm sorry to give you this yellow card.

First warning.

Be careful. With the second one,
you'll be eliminated.

So be very careful.

-I'm counting on you.
-Let's go!

-See you later.
-Let's start!

Let's go!

Here we go again.

Make me laugh, but don't laugh.

Inès!

-Hold on, please.
-"Okay!"

Inès?

"Okay!"

You are really deceitful, Kyan.

Yeah, okay.

-I heard you.
-Just imagine, "Okay!"

It's not even funny.
I'm too young for that.

I don't even know what that is.

I think Kyan can say
"Okay!" for six hours.

And I'll be laughing for six hours.

What's happening?

-Is that your diary?
-Who's a math teacher here?

Inès, what am I going to say?

-"Okay!"
-Yes.

-What is that, Kyan?
-What is it?

Little things I made. Who is this?

Well, it's Fadily Camara.

-"Camara."
-Like a rat, get it?

Wow! That's good! Who did this?

This guy is formidable.

He has photo displays.
He's got his head in it.

The guy is gonna kill everyone.

So, wait. Gérard...

-No...
-Say it!

Gérard cheetah, that doesn't work.

Cheetah Jugnot?
It may be easier like this.

Oh, yeah.

-It's Cheetah Jugnot?
-Pretty.

A little scary.

This one is a bit creepy.

What scares me
is that you took the time to make this.

You made this?

-It's Cheetah Jugnot.
-That's nice.

Nice curve, huh?

Inès Ruler.

It's over, I'm done.

-I can't.
-Inès, look.

You're talking with Anissa

But my name is Wejdene.

Inès!

That was the funniest joke on Earth.
I needed to laugh.

I refused to look at Inès Ruler.

I needed to find a way,
any way, to get out.

At that point, I didn't trust myself.

I was determined

The two of us, it's over
It's over, it's over

-Who's this?
-Julien.

The two of us, it's finished

Julien who?

-Julien Fruit Juice.
-Yeah.

-Not bad.
-I don't get it.

-Very beautiful.
-Julien Fruit Juice.

-Julien?
-So beautiful.

Julien, come back. Julien Fruit Juice?

Oh, no!

We can't let that slide, of course.

Oh, no!

Okay! Okay!

It was for sure.

Let's go, Philippe.

It's not a good sign.

We shouldn't clap for him.

I don't think you understood the rules.

You're not allowed to laugh.

Let's find out who it was.

-Not bad.
-I don't get it.

-It's beautiful.
-Julien Fruit Juice.

-Julien?
-So beautiful.

Julien, come back.

Julien Fruit Juice?

Seriously?

All by yourself! For nothing!

Oh, damn! Wow.

He offed himself.

It was a suicide.

It's such a pity.

What made you crack up?

Your face made me crack up!

Kyan, I have to

to give you the yellow card.

First warning, Kyan.

Be careful. So, Bérengère, Inès and Kyan,
you're the first ones up for elimination.

Watch out. Elimination is near. Good luck.

-Thanks, Philippe.
-You're welcome.

Thanks, Philippe.

Um, wild card.

Wild card!

Okay, it's on again.

It's started again.

I love this game.

-Hilarious.
-Julien Fruit Juice!

-A strawberry.
-Not bad.

No?

Poor lonely Gérard.

Isn't my strawberry funny?

I don't think costumes are funny.

Motherfucking poker face.

It doesn't do anything to me.
You won't get me, my friend.

So, let's see what Reem's wild card is.

She has three minutes
to try to make the others laugh,

who will be forced to watch.

In any case,
she is very courageous to go first.

I thought, "You know what?"

"I better do it while
I'm fresh physically.

"Before I break down."

I'm going to do it. If I knock one out,
at least I'll be respected.

I think it'll be a good show.

-It that her voice?
-It's damn amazing.

TO BE CONTINUED

It's an attack!

There are things happening.

It's great, we'll live together.

Big fuckin' pussy!

It's like not cumming. Very difficult.

Hello. Eat apples. Hello.

There's one eliminated!