L.A. Law (1986–1994): Season 3, Episode 11 - Izzy Ackerman or Is He Not - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON L.A.
LAW... OH, A BABY.

HI.

HI, HONEY.

OH, SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

YES, YES.

CAN I SEE HER?

SURE.

YOU MISSED A SPOT.

WHERE?

OH... THERE.

ROXANNE, DO YOU REALIZE



THAT YOU AND DAVE ARE GONNA
MAKE MORE MONEY OFF MY VIDEOTAPE

THAN I AM?

THAT IF YOU DIVORCED
HIM TOMORROW,

YOU'D COME OUT WITH
2 MILLION BUCKS CASH

IN COMMUNITY PROPERTY.

IS THAT FAIR?

ROX?

ROXANNE?

- THANK YOU, CHARLOTTE.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.

THANK YOU, WANDA.

THANK YOU, KAREN. LOOKING GOOD.

THANK YOU, ROXANNE.

THANK YOU.

WELL, HOW DID WE DO
THIS WEEK, GRETCHEN?



SORRY, GIRLS. MY
AEROBICS CLASS RAN LATE.

HERE'S MY WORKBOOK, LES.

HOW WAS YOUR TRIP TO CANCUN?

FABULOSO. I GOT A TAN
ALL THE WAY TO HERE.

I SEE YOU'VE LOST 6 MORE
POUNDS. CONGRATULATIONS, TAMMY.

THANK YOU, LES. BUT I'M
STILL WAY OVERWEIGHT.

RIGHT HERE.

WOULD THAT WE WERE ALL
AS DISCIPLINED AS TAMMY.

THANK YOU, LES, BUT
I'M SURE WE'RE ALL

TRYING OUR DARNDEST,
AREN'T WE, GIRLS?

SURE, WE ARE.

ROXANNE, I SEE YOU'VE
GAINED 2 POUNDS.

I'M HOLDING WATER.

ACCORDING TO YOUR
THURSDAY NIGHT LOG,

YOU'RE HOLDING MORE THAN WATER.

I CAN'T HELP IT.

IT'S MY HUSBAND'S POKER NIGHT.

HE BRINGS HOME PIZZA
AND ICE CREAM AND CAKE.

IF YOU WANT MY OPINION, IT
SOUNDS AS IF YOUR HUSBAND

IS SUBTLY ENCOURAGING
YOU TO STAY OBESE

AS A WAY OF SUPPRESSING
YOUR SEXUAL ATTRACTIVENESS.

WHAT ARE YOU, THE WORLD'S
FOREMOST AUTHORITY ON MY SEX LIFE?

IT DOESN'T TAKE AN AUTHORITY

TO SEE YOUR
HUSBAND IS EXPRESSING

A LOT OF LATENT
HOSTILITY TOWARD YOU.

TAMMY, WHY DON'T YOU
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS?

YOU SEE? YOU'RE DOING IT, TOO.

DOING WHAT?

DUMPING ALL YOUR HOSTILITY ON ME

INSTEAD OF ON YOUR
HUSBAND WHERE IT BELONGS.

EXCUSE ME, BUT THAT
WASN'T HOSTILITY.

THIS IS HOSTILITY.

ALL RIGHT, GETTING STARTED.

MEISTER VS. PRIME
LOCATION TICKETS.

YEAH. THAT'S ME.

RESTRAINT OF TRADE
AND BREACH OF CONTRACT.

I'M GOING TO BE IN
DEPOSITIONS ALL WEEK.

DILLARD VS. RICHMOND
SCHOOL DISTRICT.

ANN, YOU MET YESTERDAY.

WE SLID TO THURSDAY.

- WHY?
- A LITTLE NANNY CRISIS.

- I SPENT YESTERDAY HOME.
- AND SO IT BEGINS.

WHAT BEGINS?

THE DOMESTIC EMERGENCIES
TAKING PRECEDENCE OVER WORK.

WE ALL UNDERSTAND, I'M SURE,

ALTHOUGH SOME OF US ASSUMED
YOU'D BE MORE RESISTANT

TO THE PULL OF MATERNAL GRAVITY.

DON'T TALK WITH YOUR
MOUTH FULL, DOUGLAS.

ACKERMAN VS. LEWIS MORTUARY.

WHAT'S THIS?

A DISASTER.

MRS. ACKERMAN
CALLED ME LAST NIGHT.

YESTERDAY WAS HER
HUSBAND'S FUNERAL.

IT ALL FELL APART.

THEY MISHANDLED THE BODY.

IT STILL HASN'T BEEN BURIED.

WE'RE RUSHING IN TO
GET A COURT ORDER.

THEY MISHANDLED THE BODY? HOW?

YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

YUCK.

DAVIS VS. EASTLAND HOSPITAL.

TRIAL STARTS TODAY.

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT THE HOSPITAL'S

LETTING IT GO TO A JURY.

THEIR EXPOSURE'S LESS
THAN YOU MIGHT THINK.

THE WOMAN MADE HOW MUCH A YEAR?

THE MOST WAS 17.5.

THEY REFUSE TO ADMIT A WOMAN
BECAUSE SHE HAS NO INSURANCE.

SHE DIES LESS THAN
24 HOURS LATER.

A JURY CAN ALWAYS FIND
A WAY TO MAKE THEM PAY.

LOSS OF LOVE AND
AFFECTION, THAT'S THE KEY.

JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, WHAT
IS THE HOSPITAL SUPPOSED TO DO,

FILL ITS BEDS WITH
NONPAYING PATIENTS?

IF NONPAYING PATIENTS
ARE SICK AND DYING,

YEAH, THEY'RE SUPPOSED
TO FILL UP THEIR BEDS

WITH WHOEVER
NEEDS TO BE IN THEM.

THEN WHO'S SUPPOSED
TO PICK UP THE TAB, ME?

YOU EVER GET SICK
AND NOT GO TO A DOCTOR

BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT?

YOU EVER NOT GET A
PRESCRIPTION FILLED

BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT?

YOU EVER WATCH
YOUR SISTER'S BABY DIE

BECAUSE SHE CAME HOME FROM THE
HOSPITAL BEFORE SHE SHOULD HAVE?

"WHO'S GOING TO
PICK UP THE TAB?"

I GOT MINE, RIGHT? I GOT MINE.

I HOPE YOU NAIL
THESE BASTARDS, MIKE.

YOU NAIL THEM TO THE WALL.

YEAH.

EXCUSE ME, WHERE'S
ROXANNE MEYERS?

- OVER THERE.
- THANK YOU.

- ROXANNE MEYERS?
- MEYER. YES.

WE HAVE A WARRANT
FOR YOUR ARREST.

WHAT?

COULD YOU STEP AWAY
FROM THE DESK, MA'AM?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?

DO YOU KNOW A TAMARA JACOBS?

TAMARA?

SHE'S FILED BATTERY
CHARGES AGAINST YOU.

OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

PLEASE STEP AWAY
FROM THE DESK, MA'AM.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT.

ANYTHING YOU SAY,
CAN AND WILL BE

HELD AGAINST YOU
IN A COURT OF LAW.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO HAVE AN ATTORNEY...

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE?

- ROXANNE?
- ARNIE.

ARNIE, MAKE THEM STOP.

WOULD YOU JUST CUT IT OUT
FOR A SECOND? I AM AN ATTORNEY.

DO YOU HAVE A WARRANT?

THAT'S FOR REAL, ALL RIGHT.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND
EACH OF THESE RIGHTS...

LOOK, LOOK. IS IT
REALLY NECESSARY

TO CUFF HER FOR A MISDEMEANOR?

I'M SORRY, COUNSELOR.

EVERYTHING'S GOING
TO BE ALL RIGHT, OKAY?

JONATHAN WILL BE
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

YOU'LL BE BACK AT YOUR
DESK BEFORE LUNCH.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND
THESE RIGHTS...

JONATHAN, STICK WITH HER.

DO YOU WISH TO WAIVE
YOUR RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

ASIDE FROM REVIEWING THE
ADAMS FILE ONE MORE TIME,

I THINK WE'RE COVERED.

OKAY, I'LL GET IT TO
YOU THIS AFTERNOON.

- HI.
- GUESS WHAT.

WHAT?

IT TURNS OUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO COME DOWN HERE AT ALL TODAY.

THERE'S A FEW LAST-MINUTE THINGS

WE DIDN'T GET TO THIS MORNING,

AND THE JUDGE DECIDED TO
START THE TRIAL TOMORROW.

I'M GLAD I DIDN'T TAKE
ALL WHOLE DAY OFF.

AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE, YOU
WANT TO GO OVER THE LINEUP?

SURE.

DR. BRIAN McKENNA,

TESTIFYING AS AN EXPERT
AS TO CAUSE OF DEATH,

FOLLOWED BY HECTOR CORVALES,

A FORMER RESIDENT AT EASTLAND,

FOLLOWED BY KATE
ADAMS, FORMER E.R. NURSE,

FOLLOWED BY CORNELL
GEISLER, OUR INSURANCE EXPERT,

- FOLLOWED BY YOU.
- SOUNDS GOOD.

I ALSO HAVE ANOTHER
OFFER TO TELL YOU ABOUT.

YEAH?

100,000 PAYABLE OVER TWO YEARS.

NO, THANK YOU.

BELIEVE ME, I'M NOT
RECOMMENDING IT,

BUT YOU'RE STILL OPEN TO
CONSIDERING OFFERS, AREN'T YOU?

TO TELL YOU THE
TRUTH, NOT REAL OPEN.

WELL, THE POINT MAY
COME WHEN YOU SHOULD BE.

WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME, MIKE?

JUST THAT WE SHOULD BE SMART
ABOUT WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE.

THIS MAY NOT BE A
PARTICULARLY GOOD OFFER,

BUT ONE MAY COME IN THAT IS.

THE FACT THAT YOUR WIFE
DIDN'T EARN VERY MUCH

WILL IN ALL LIKELIHOOD BE
CONSIDERED BY THE JURY.

THE FACT THAT SHE
DIDN'T EARN VERY MUCH

IS THE REASON WHY SHE'S DEAD.

NOW I WANT TO GO TO COURT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT US.

WE'RE GOING TO GO TO COURT,

JUST UNDERSTAND
THAT DOROTHY AND I

WOULDN'T BE DOING OUR JOBS

IF WE DIDN'T MAKE YOU
AWARE OF ALL THE RISKS.

I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO
SAY WHAT THEY DID, MIKE.

YOU DON'T SEND A DOG OUT
TO DIE THE WAY THEY DID JACKIE.

THEY WANT TO GIVE ME SOME MONEY?

TELL ME, WHAT AM I
GOING TO BUY WITH IT?

THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND
FUNERAL I EVER TAPED.

USUALLY I STICK TO
WEDDINGS AND BAR MITVAHS.

I FIGURED THIS WOULD BE
THE ULTIMATE TRIBUTE TO IZZY.

OBJECTION.

JUST TELL US THE RELEVANT
FACTS, MR. GREENBERG.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT. HERE, THEY'RE
LIFTING THE COFFIN.

ALL RIGHT, NOW KEEP YOUR EYE

ON THE BIG GUY
TURNING THE CORNER...

FAT MORTY. WE CALL HIM
THAT AFFECTIONATELY.

HE LOVES IT.

I'M GOING TO FREEZE-FRAME HERE.

ALL RIGHT, YOU CAN
ALREADY SEE ON HIS FACE

MORTY'S IN TROUBLE HERE.

DOUBLE HERNIA LAST YEAR.

WHY HE'S UP THERE,
CAN ANYBODY TELL ME?

THAT'S MILTON BEHIND HIM.
HE'S NOT REALLY LIFTING.

NOW I'M GOING TO RUN
THIS IN SLOW MOTION.

OK. THERE. MORTY'S
STARTING TO DROP,

THE COFFIN'S STARTING TO FLIP.

WHOOPS! HERE'S IZZY.
RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX.

THEY'RE FALLING LIKE DUCK PINS.

LISTEN, LISTEN.
EVERYBODY'S SCREAMING.

I TRIED TO ZOOM IN ON
HIM, BUT I LOST FOCUS HERE.

OKAY? BUT, A LITTLE BETTER, HUH?

ALL RIGHT. NOW...

OKAY, OKAY. I GET
IT. STOP THE TAPE.

BUT WE DIDN'T GET
TO THE BEST PART

WHEN WE SEE THAT
THE BODY ISN'T IZZY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ISN'T IZZY?

THEY STUCK THE
WRONG GUY IN THE BOX.

LOOK AT THIS. OK. ANOTHER
CLOSE-UP OF THE GUY.

LOOK AT THIS. ISN'T IT GREAT?

SOME OF MY BEST WORK.

HOLD IT. HOLD IT. HOLD
IT. TURN THAT THING OFF.

WHO WAS THAT IN THE BOX?

I DON'T KNOW,
BUT IT WASN'T IZZY.

THEY CHOPPED HIM INTO BITS.

- SYLVIA!
- OBJECTION!

THEY SENT HIS BODY TO A
RESEARCH LAB AND THEY DICED HIM!

- MRS. ACKERMAN!
- THEY DICED MY IZZY!

- MOTION TO STRIKE.
- THE HOSPITAL'S MIS-TAGGED
THE BODIES, JUDGE.

- EVERYONE, QUIET.
- IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BURY HIM.

INSTEAD, YOU SENT
HIM TO A BUTCHER

TO BE CHOPPED UP LIKE CELERY!

EVERYONE STOP TALKING NOW!

AM I TO UNDERSTAND THAT
THE BODIES WERE SWITCHED

AND THE REAL IZZY
WAS DISMEMBERED?

TO BITS!

YES, AND WE'D LIKE THIS COURT

TO ORDER THE DEFENDANT

TO RETRIEVE EVERY LAST PIECE
OF MY CLIENT'S LATE HUSBAND,

AS WELL AS ISSUE
RESTRAINING ORDERS

TO THE VARIOUS
HOSPITALS WHO HAVE HIM

SO HE'S NOT DISSECTED
ANY FURTHER.

THESE HOSPITALS
ARE OUT OF STATE.

I DON'T KNOW IF I
CAN DO ANYTHING.

I'LL, UH, TAKE THIS
ALL UNDER ADVISEMENT

AND TRY AND GIVE YOU A
RULING AS FAST AS I CAN.

IN THE MEANTIME, MR. BRAUNSTEIN,

I WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOUR CLIENT

START TAKING IMMEDIATE STEPS

TO COLLECT THE DECEASED.

UNBELIEVABLE.

SORRY.

WE HAD TO NEGOTIATE
DAVE OUT OF COMING ALONG.

HEY, HE'D HAVE BEEN WELCOME.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

CRIMINAL COMPLAINT NUMBER 8847,

PEOPLE VS. ROXANNE MEYER.

JONATHAN ROLLINS FOR THE
DEFENDANT, YOUR HONOR.

WILLIAM RILEY FOR THE
CITY ATTORNEY'S OFFICE.

MS. MEYER'S CHARGED WITH ASSAULT

AFTER ATTACKING A FELLOW
STUDENT IN HER DIET CLASS.

I'D BE LOOKING TO
CONTINUE O.R., JUDGE.

MRS. MEYER HAS
NO CRIMINAL RECORD

AND THIS WAS AN
ISOLATED OUTBURST

PROVOKED BY THE
VICTIM'S DEROGATORY SLURS

REGARDING MY
CLIENT'S PHYSICALITY.

I TOLD HER SHE LOOKED
GOOD, FOR GOD'S SAKE,

AND SHE PUNCHED ME!

THIS WOULD BE
THE VICTIM, I TAKE IT.

CIVILIAN COMPLAINT, YOUR HONOR.

BY ANY CHANCE,

WOULD THE VICTIM'S
ATTORNEY BE AT ALL ACCESSIBLE

AT THIS VERY MOMENT?

I'M RIGHT HERE, YOUR HONOR.

- ROLAND BURNET.
- SURPRISE, SURPRISE.

STEP UP, MR. BURNET.

YOU WOULDN'T BE URGING
CRIMINAL PROSECUTION

TO BOLSTER YOUR CIVIL
CAUSE OF ACTION, WOULD YOU?

OH, NO, YOUR HONOR.

NO, NO. TELL YOU WHAT.

I'M CONTINUING THIS
MATTER FOR ONE WEEK,

DURING WHICH TIME,

I THINK THE ATTORNEYS SHOULD
GET TOGETHER AND WORK THINGS OUT.

IF YOU DO, I'LL DISMISS. THAT
OKAY WITH YOU, MR. RILEY?

- FINE.
- WHAT? YOU'RE JUST GOING TO
PUT HER BACK ON THE STREETS?

CALL ME CRAZY.

SETTLE THIS, COUNSEL.
IT'LL MAKE ME VERY HAPPY.

IF YOU CAN'T, WELL...
I'LL STILL BE YOUR JUDGE.

THAT'S ALL. NEXT CASE.

COME ON.

UH-UH-UH-UH.

IT'S A GOING TO BE A
TOUGH WEEK FOR LUNCH.

LET'S GIVE OURSELVES A
RUNNING START FOR A CHANGE.

HOW ABOUT DINNER?
AN EVENING? A NIGHT?

A NIGHT. A NIGHT.

UM... ERIC'S GOT A BIRTHDAY
PARTY TO GO TO ON THURSDAY.

I BET I CAN ARRANGE
A SLEEPOVER FOR HIM.

ONE FOR HIM AND ONE FOR ME.

THURSDAY NIGHT'S
OUT. I'M ON DUTY.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO BEND
ERIC'S ROUTINE OUT OF SHAPE.

SURE, SURE. HOW ABOUT
LUNCH TOMORROW?

- I CAN'T.
- FRIDAY?

GOING TO BE IN VAN NUYS.

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW IMPOSSIBLE

SCHEDULING A MéNAGE
ET TROIS WOULD BE?

WHAT ABOUT TODAY,
NOW? ARE YOU BUSY?

I'VE GOT TO BE IN
WHITTIER AT 2:30.

AND I... I SHOULD REALLY...

I CAN'T. REALLY.

LET'S GO.

DR. McKENNA, YOU EXAMINED
EASTLAND HOSPITAL'S RECORDS

OF JACKIE DAVIS' VISIT, RIGHT?

I HAVE.

CAN YOU TELL US WHAT THEY SAY?

THEY SAY THAT
ON JUNE 14TH, 1984,

SHE WENT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM

COMPLAINING OF
NAUSEA AND FATIGUE.

SHE ALSO HAD A SEVERE RASH.

AND WHAT WAS DONE FOR HER?

OBJECTION. DR. McKENNA
WASN'T PRESENT

AND ISN'T IN A POSITION TO
TESTIFY WHAT WAS OR WASN'T DONE.

HE IS A TRAINED
FORENSIC PATHOLOGIST

WHO'S STUDIED THE
RECORDS AND BODY.

IF MR. SPITZER WANTS, TO
REFUTE HIS TESTIMONY, HE CAN TRY.

OBJECTION OVERRULED.
THE WITNESS CAN ANSWER.

THEY TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST,

THEY TOOK HER BLOOD PRESSURE,
THEY TOOK HER TEMPERATURE,

THEN SENT HER ON HER WAY.

AND IN YOUR BEST
MEDICAL OPINION,

WHAT SHOULD HAVE
BEEN DONE FOR HER?

AT A MINIMUM,

THEY SHOULD'VE
CHECKED FOR PROTEIN

AFTER THEY TOOK
THE PREGNANCY TEST.

THAT RIGHT THERE WOULD HAVE
TOLD THEM SOMETHING WAS WRONG.

THERE ARE SIMPLE BLOOD TESTS

FOR CREATININE AND UREA.

THEY COST ABOUT $10 EACH.
THEY DIDN'T DO EITHER ONE.

HAD THEY DONE THEM, COULD
JACKIE DAVIS' LIFE HAVE BEEN SAVED?

OBJECTION. I DON'T
THINK DR. McKENNA

IS TRAINED AS GOD, IS HE?

HE'S BEING ASKED HIS
MEDICAL OPINION, MR. SPITZER.

SIT DOWN, PLEASE.

ANY ONE OF THE
PROCEDURES I'VE SUGGESTED

WOULD HAVE SHOWN JACKIE DAVIS

TO BE SUFFERING FROM
ACUTE RENAL FAILURE

BROUGHT ON BY
UNDIAGNOSED LUPUS NEPHRITIS.

IN OTHER WORDS, HER
KIDNEYS STOPPED WORKING.

SHE COULD HAVE BEEN
DIALYZED AND PUT ON MEDICATION.

IN MY OPINION, SHE STOOD AN
EXCELLENT CHANCE OF FULL RECOVERY.

THANK YOU, DOCTOR. I HAVE
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

TELL US, DOCTOR. WHAT
DOES THE EXPRESSION,

"WHEN YOU HEAR HOOF BEATS,

THINK HORSES, NOT ZEBRAS" MEAN?

IT MEANS THAT IN
DIAGNOSING A PATIENT,

YOU START BY ATTRIBUTING
SYMPTOMS TO MORE COMMON

RATHER THAN LESS COMMON CAUSES.

SO WHEN JACKIE DAVIS CAME IN
COMPLAINING OF NAUSEA AND FATIGUE,

WOULD YOU BE MORE
LIKELY TO ATTRIBUTE IT

TO A STOMACH VIRUS
OR ACUTE RENAL FAILURE

BROUGHT ON BY
UNDIAGNOSED LUPUS NEPHRITIS?

A STOMACH VIRUS INITIALLY.

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT THE PHYSICIAN
ON DUTY AT EASTLAND HOSPITAL DID.

THE PROBLEM LIES
IN WHAT HE DIDN'T DO.

THANK YOU, DOCTOR.

ISN'T IT A FACT THAT HOSPITALS
TRANSFER AND RELEASE PATIENTS

WHO ARE UNABLE
TO PAY ALL THE TIME?

NOT PATIENTS WHO ARE DYING.

BUT JACKIE DAVIS DIDN'T
APPEAR TO BE DYING.

SHE APPEARED STABLE.

AND A SIMPLE BATTERY OF
BASIC DIAGNOSTIC PROCEDURES

WOULD HAVE SHOWN
THAT SHE WASN'T.

WHICH AT THE TIME DIDN'T
APPEAR TO BE NECESSARY.

YOU EVER MISDIAGNOSE
A PATIENT, DOCTOR?

NOT BECAUSE THEY
WEREN'T INSURED.

DO YOU TREAT PATIENTS FOR FREE?

I SURE AS HELL DON'T KICK THEM
OUT THE DOOR BECAUSE THEY'RE POOR.

I DIDN'T BECOME A DOCTOR

SO I COULD STAND
BEHIND A TURNSTILE

AND WATCH PEOPLE
DIE ON THE OTHER SIDE.

I'M RULING THAT INJUNCTIVE
RELIEF IS WARRANTED HERE,

AND I'M ORDERING THE DEFENDANT

TO RETRIEVE THE BODY
PARTS OF ISADORE ACKERMAN.

WE'VE ALREADY GOT A
LOT BACK, YOUR HONOR.

MR. ACKERMAN'S TORSO IS DUE IN
FROM CLEVELAND EVEN AS WE SPEAK,

AND THIS MORNING, WE LOCATED
HIS PANCREAS IN DETROIT.

THERE IS STILL THE ISSUE
OF THE HEAD, YOUR HONOR.

WHAT ISSUE?

IT WENT TO A TEACHING
UNIVERSITY IN MIAMI.

- THEY REFUSE TO GIVE IT BACK.
- AND WHY IS THAT?

THEY PURCHASED IT
FROM U-CAL MEDICAL

AND THEY CLAIM THAT IT'S A
VALID CONTRACT FOR GOODS

UNDER THE UNIFORM
COMMERCIAL CODE.

NOW, IF YOU NULLIFY IT ON
THE GROUNDS OF PUBLIC POLICY,

WE CAN TAKE THAT ORDER

AND TRY TO GET THE
CONTRACT VOIDED

UNDER SOME RECIPROCITY, MAYBE.

YOU WANT ME TO RENDER AN OPINION

ON THE UNIFORM COMMERCIAL CODE

AS IT APPLIES TO THE
CONVEYANCE OF A HUMAN HEAD?

I KNOW. IT SOUNDS CRAZY,

BUT WE'RE GETTING DESPERATE.

THE POLICE DON'T
REGARD IT AS FOUL PLAY,

SO THEY WON'T GET INVOLVED.

MY CLIENT'S ONLY CHANCE
OF GETTING HER HUSBAND BACK

IS THROUGH A COURT ORDER.

I'LL GIVE YOU THE
ORDER, MR. McKENZIE,

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOOD IT'S
GOING TO DO IN A FLORIDA COURT.

I'LL NEVER SEE IZZY AGAIN!

OH, MY GOD!

MY SWEETHEART IS GONE FOREVER.

I'M SORRY, MRS. ACKERMAN,

BUT I'M AFRAID THE ONLY REAL
REMEDY HERE IS MONEY DAMAGES.

I DON'T WANT MONEY.
I WANT MY IZZY!

HOW CAN I BURY HIM
WITHOUT HIS HEAD?

I'M SORRY, MA'AM,
WE CAN TRY, BUT...

I JUST DON'T KNOW.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MRS. MEYER.

OUR RESERVATION IS AT 8:00.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOING TO MEET ME AT HOME.

I WAS IN THE AREA.

I THOUGHT WE'D
DRIVE HOME TOGETHER.

LET ME JUST GO TO
THE LADIES ROOM.

- DAVE MEYER.
- NICE TO SEE YOU, DOUGLAS.

DAVE MEYER. HAVE YOU
GOT A MINUTE FOR ME?

YEAH, SURE.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW
MUCH I ADMIRE YOUR WORK, DAVE.

CONSIDERING YOUR
SUCCESS WITH ARNOLD,

I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD
INDULGE ME FOR A MINUTE

WHILE I PROPOSE
ANOTHER VIDEOTAPE.

WELL, I'M ALWAYS
LOOKING FOR NEW TITLES.

HAVE A SEAT.

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

I'M CALLING IT, OFFICE
MANAGEMENT... TO WIN.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A SCRIPT.

- MAY I?
- YEAH, SURE.

IT'S ROUGH, BUT I THINK
IT'S IN THE BALL PARK.

"THEY'VE CALLED ME BEAN COUNTER.

"THEY'VE CALLED
ME PENCIL PUSHER.

"I DON'T GET INSULTED.

"I DON'T GET DEFENSIVE.

"WHEN THE DUST SETTLES,

THEY CALL ME MANAGER."

VERY PUNCHY.

"STAFF PEOPLE CAN
STARE INTO SPACE

"WHEN THERE'S A
LULL IN THE WORK,

"OR THEY CAN OIL CHAIR CASTERS

"SO PLEXIGLAS RUG
PROTECTORS DON'T GET SCUFFED.

"THEY CAN COMB MORIBUND FILES

FOR PAPER FASTENERS
AND DIVIDERS."

I'M NOT ALTOGETHER SURE
WHAT THE MARKET IS HERE, DOUG.

I THINK IT'S VAST.

MM-HMM. WELL, IT
MIGHT VERY WELL BE.

COULD WE DISCUSS
THIS SOME OTHER TIME?

ANYTIME.

I'LL BE IN TOUCH.

- IS IT OK?
- PERFECTAMUNDO.

WHOA, YOU PEOPLE
HAVE MY SYMPATHY.

WHY IS THAT, DAVE?

I JUST HAD TO LISTEN

TO AN ENDLESS
DOUGLAS BRACKMAN SPIEL.

I THINK I'D RATHER
HAVE ROOT CANAL.

THIS GUY IS INSUFFERABLE.

MIKE, I GOT TO TELL YOU,

WHATEVER YOU PAID
McKENNA TO TESTIFY

WAS MONEY WELL SPENT.

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE, RUSSELL.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.

NOW, HAVING MADE THE
NECESSARY CONCESSIONS,

HOW ABOUT WE TALK
SOME ARITHMETIC?

TALK.

WE'RE WILLING TO SWEETEN
THE ORIGINAL OFFER

TO THE TUNE OF $300,000.

PAYABLE IMMEDIATELY.

FOR THE DEATH OF AN
UNEMPLOYED SPEECH THERAPIST,

IT AIN'T A BAD DAY'S WORK.

I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE
IT IS, MAYBE IT ISN'T.

MIKE, THE GUY'S A DAY LABORER.

HE'S HASN'T SEEN THIS MUCH
MONEY IN HIS WHOLE LIFE.

RIGHT, AND IF YOU COULD'VE,

YOU WOULD'VE SENT HIM HOME
WITH A HANDSHAKE AND A $100 BILL.

WELL, YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITH ME.

SO WHAT'LL IT TAKE
TO BUY YOU OFF?

I THINK THIS DISCUSSION'S
OVER, GENTLEMEN.

WHY NOT BE HONEST
ABOUT IT? THIS IS JUST GREED.

YOU GOT A DEEP POCKET TO PICK

AND YOU WANT TO COME
AWAY WITH ALL YOU CAN.

YOU THROW A DYING
WOMAN OUT OF THE HOSPITAL

BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T
HAVE ENOUGH MONEY

AND YOU TALK TO ME ABOUT GREED?

GET THIS GUY OUT
OF MY SIGHT, RUSSEL.

HOW DID IT GO?

WELL, THEY UPPED THE OFFER.

YEAH? HOW MUCH?

$300,000, PAYABLE UP FRONT.

WHOA.

NOW, IT'S POSSIBLE THAT
WE COULD DO BETTER,

BUT AS I TOLD YOU BEFORE,

THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES.

WE'RE LETTING THEM
OFF THE HOOK, THOUGH.

LOOK, IN THE END,

THEY'RE GOING TO
PAY YOU SOME MONEY,

AND THEY'LL BE OFF THE HOOK.

WHAT WE HAVE TO DECIDE
IS WHETHER THIS ENOUGH?

YOU'RE THE LAWYER,
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WELL, THIS OFFER
ISN'T GONNA GO AWAY,

AND THE TRUTH IS IF
THEY'RE THIS WORRIED NOW,

I'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT
THEY PUT ON THE TABLE

- AFTER YOU TESTIFY.
- SO LET ME TESTIFY.

WE'LL PUT YOU ON THE STAND TOMORROW,
WHILE McKENNA'S STILL FRESH IN THEIR MIND.

ALL RIGHT.

ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?

IF YOU TELL ME TO BE
READY, I'LL BE READY.

GOOD MAN.

- MADAM?
- NOT FOR ME.

I'LL HAVE ANOTHER MINERAL WATER.

IT SEEMS A SHAME THAT ON THE
OCCASION OF YOUR 39th BIRTHDAY,

YOU CAN'T ENJOY ONE
SMALL GLASS OF BUBBLY.

DAVID, IT'S A VERY DIFFICULT
TIME FOR ME RIGHT NOW.

I FEEL THAT IF I
GO OFF THIS DIET,

I WON'T HAVE THE
STRENGTH TO GO BACK ON.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

YOU'RE A LUSTY WENCH
REGARDLESS OF CURB WEIGHT.

THANK YOU.

SO, YOU'VE BEEN ON THIS
DIET FOUR WEEKS NOW.

IS IT WORTH IT?

I THINK SO.

I'VE LOST 7 POUNDS.

7 LESS POUNDS OF ROXANNE MEYER

IS NOT SOMETHING DEVOUTLY
TO BE WISHED FOR IN MY BOOK,

THOUGH DROPPING FROM
CRUISER WEIGHT TO MIDDLE WEIGHT

DIDN'T TAKE ANYTHING AWAY
FROM YOUR RIGHT CROSS.

IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER FOR ME
KNOWING THAT YOU'RE NOT ON MY SIDE.

ROXANNE, CENTER OF MY
BEING, I AM ON YOUR SIDE.

BUT AT THE RISK OF MOMENTARILY
APPEARING SELF-ABSORBED,

I WOULD LIKE TO POINT
OUT THAT OUR SEX LIFE

HAS WITHERED ON THE VINE UNDER THE
GLOOM OF YOUR PERPETUAL DEPRESSION.

EVERY TIME I FEEL AMOROUS,
YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.

EVERY TIME I WANT
A LITTLE SNACK,

I HAVE TO DRIVE MYSELF
TO THE ALL-NIGHT DELI.

ROXANNE, ISN'T
THERE ANOTHER WAY?

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,

THAT I SHOULD QUIT MY DIET?

THAT'S AN OPTION.

ANOTHER OPTION WOULD
BE TO FAST ONE DAY A WEEK,

ANOTHER MIGHT BE... JUST A
SUGGESTION... TO JOIN A GYM.

INSTEAD OF EATING
LESS, EXERCISE MORE.

YEAH, BUT I WANT TO
FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF,

AND I CAN'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT
MYSELF WHEN I'M OVERWEIGHT.

ALL I KNOW IS ONCE
WE WERE HAPPY,

WE WENT OUT, WE FROLICKED,
MADE LOVE WITH ABANDON.

LIFE WAS FULL.

IN OTHER WORDS, YOU CAN'T
BE HAPPY UNLESS I'M FAT.

I CAN'T BE HAPPY WHEN
YOU'RE DEPRESSED.

AND IF YOU DON'T MIND AN OBSERVATION,
YOU'RE MORE DEPRESSED NOW

- THAN YOU WERE
BEFORE THE DIET.
- SIR?

AHH, THE SOUFFLÉ.

DAVID, WHAT IS THIS?

YOUR CHOCOLATE BIRTHDAY SOUFFLÉ.

WHY DID YOU ORDER THIS?
YOU KNOW I CAN'T EAT IT.

WHY NOT? FOR ONE MOMENT,
GIVE IN TO YOUR APPETITES.

YOU'RE A VIBRANT FEMALE IN THE
FULL BLOOM OF MATURE WOMANHOOD.

- CELEBRATE.
- I CAN'T.

- YOU CAN.
- NO.

- YES.
- DAVID, PLEASE. DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS.

SHE DOESN'T MEAN IT.
GO AHEAD. DISH IT OUT.

ONE BITE. ONE BITE,
JUST TO COMMEMORATE

WHAT'S ARGUABLY THE
HAPPIEST DAY IN MY LIFE,

THE DAY OF YOUR BIRTH.

PUT SOME WHIPPED
CREAM ON THERE WOULD YA?

UH-HUH. AH. UH-HUH.

HUH?

GO AHEAD, ONE FOR THE ROAD.

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT.

GO AHEAD.

THAT A GIRL.

OK, NOW GIVEN THE EXTENT

OF MY CLIENT'S
PAIN AND SUFFERING

AND THE SEVERITY OF THE ATTACK,

ATTACK? ALL I DID WAS
PUNCH HER IN THE NOSE.

I TOLD YOU SHE WAS HOSTILE.

I THINK YOU'LL FIND MS. JACOB'S
PROPOSAL MORE THAN REASONABLE.

THIS TRAUMATIC CONFRONTATION

HAS DESTROYED MY
CLIENT'S APPEARANCE.

YOU CAN SEE FOR YOURSELF
HER INJURIES NECESSITATE

RECONSTRUCTIVE RHINOPLASTY
TO BE PAID BY YOUR CLIENT.

- NOSE JOB.
- AND THE ADDITIONAL
COSMETIC SURGERY

TO RESTORE MS.
JACOB'S EYES AND CHIN.

- TO BE PAID BY YOUR CLIENT.
- I NEVER TOUCHED HER CHIN.

JUST LISTEN TO THE
PROPOSAL, ROXANNE.

PLUS LIPOSUCTION, LIMITED TO
THE THIGH AND BUTTOCKS AREA,

AND TWO WEEKS RECOVERY AT LA
COSTA... DOUBLE ROOM OCCUPANCY.

I BROKE HER NOSE
AND GAVE HER A SHINER.

- I AM NOT PAYING FROM
THE NECK DOWN, ARNIE!
- RELAX.

MY CLIENT WAS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

HER BODY IMAGE HAS
SUFFERED GREATLY.

TWO WEEKS AT LA COSTA
HARDLY BEGINS TO HEAL

MS. JACOBS' BATTERED
SELF-ESTEEM.

SIT DOWN, ROX. SIT.

ALL HERBAL WRAPS, WAXING,
MANICURES, AND DAILY SHIATSU MASSAGE,

- TO BE PAID BY YOUR CLIENT.
- THAT'S IT. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.

- SHH.
- YEAH? YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T PUT
YOUR JEALOUS, FAT ASS IN JAIL.

YOU COME SASHAYING
INTO THAT MEETING

WEARING A SKINTIGHT OUTFIT,

COMPLAINING ABOUT 4 POUNDS?

YOU'RE LUCKY I ONLY
BROKE YOUR NOSE!

LADIES! ENOUGH. IS THAT IT?

ONE MORE SMALL ITEM, AN APOLOGY.

IN FRONT OF OUR SYSTEM 21 CLASS.

YOU'RE DELIRIOUS.

DELIVERED BY YOU, IN PERSON.

I'D RATHER BE IN JAIL!

GOOD. NO MORE MR. NICE GUY.
GET A COURT DATE, ROLAND.

I'M OUT OF HERE.

SETTLEMENT IS FINE.

EVERYTHING BUT THE APOLOGY.
THAT'LL BE A DEAL BREAKER.

I THINK I CAN SELL IT TO MY
CLIENT WITHOUT THE MEA CULPA.

- YOU'LL DRAW THE PAPERS?
- HAVE THEM ON YOUR DESK
TOMORROW MORNING.

COME ON, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
THIS IS A WORTHLESS BLUFF.

MY HOSPITAL DOES
NOT MIS-TAG BODIES,

- AND YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO...
- THE MORTUARY SAID YOU DID.

WELL, THEY'RE LYING.

THIS WHOLE THING IS
THE MORTUARY'S FAULT

- AND U-CAL MEDICAL.
- WE THOUGHT WE WERE
SECTIONING OFF ZUCKERMAN.

WE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS ACKERMAN.

THE PAPERWORK ON
ZUCKERMAN SAID HE WAS 43.

YOU TOOK YOUR CHAIN SAW
TO SOME 72-YEAR-OLD SICK GUY

THAT ANY FIRST YEAR MEDICAL
STUDENT WOULD'VE RECOGNIZED.

THE PAPERWORK SAID
WE HAD BERT ZUCKERMAN.

WE REASONABLY BELIEVED IT WAS
BERT ZUCKERMAN WE WERE DISMANTLING.

WELL, I'M LEAVING. MY HOSPITAL IS NOT
GETTING SUCKED INTO THIS LAWSUIT AND...

YOU'RE BOTH GETTING SUCKED IN.

BELIEVE ME, I'M
CROSS-CLAIMING YOU

AND I'M CROSS-CLAIMING
U-CAL MEDICAL, AS WELL.

I'LL GET A DEMURRER.

YOU'LL ALSO GET ABOUT 200 PAGES OF
INTERROGATORIES IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS.

AND YOU'LL BOTH GET A LOT OF
NEGATIVE PUBLICITY YOU CAN DO WITHOUT.

NOW EITHER YOU
COOPERATE WITH ME NOW,

OR BRACE YOURSELVES FOR
A NASTY PUBLIC NIGHTMARE.

WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?

I FIGURE A BIG HOSPITAL

AND A STATE UNIVERSITY
HAVE CERTAIN CONNECTIONS,

MAYBE INFLUENCES, EVEN, WITH
OTHER HOSPITALS AND UNIVERSITIES.

- AM I RIGHT?
- OK, WHAT'S THE POINT?

YOU WANT TO BE COMPLETELY
LEFT OUT OF THIS LAWSUIT?

BRING ME THE HEAD
OF IZZY ACKERMAN,

AND BRING IT TO ME FAST.

OUR SEAFOOD SPECIAL
TODAY IS A LANGOUSTINE

IN A LIGHT CREAM SAUCE
WITH FRESH BASIL FETTUCCINE.

IT'S EXCELLENT. WE ALSO
HAVE THE MEDALLIONS OF VEAL.

I WANT THE CHICKEN.

WE HAVE A PAILLARD
OF FREE-RANGE CHICKEN

IN A TARRAGON AND MUSTARD SAUCE.

BROIL IT. NO SAUCE, NO BUTTER,

AND A SMALL SALAD, NO DRESSING.

I'LL HAVE THE LOBSTER.

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE IN A LOUSY
MOOD DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON THE WAITER.

I CAN'T HELP IT. I
WANT THE LOBSTER.

THEN HAVE THE LOBSTER.

I'M ON A DIET.

WHICH, SO FAR, HAS PUT YOU
IN A PERMANENTLY LOUSY MOOD

AND GOTTEN YOU ARRESTED
FOR ASSAULT AND BATTERY.

YOU THINK I LIKE
FEELING THIS WAY?

ROX, THE ONLY DIET THAT'S
GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER

IS THE ONE WHERE YOU LOSE
170 POUNDS OF DAVE MEYER.

THANK YOU, ARNIE, FOR BEING
SUCH AN UNDERSTANDING FRIEND.

AS YOUR FRIEND, I HAVE TO TELL
YOU, YOUR PROBLEM ISN'T YOUR DIET.

AND YOU'RE...

AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL
ME WHAT MY PROBLEM IS.

YEAH, IT'S CALLED
DISPLACING YOUR ANGER.

THE LAST PERSON WHO SAID
THAT TO ME GOT HER NOSE BROKEN.

LOOK, ROX, YOU
KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU,

AND EVEN IF I DIDN'T THINK
MARRYING DAVE WAS A GREAT IDEA,

NO ONE ROOTED FOR YOU
TO SUCCESS MORE THAN I,

BUT YOUR MARRIAGE
IS IN TROUBLE, KIDDO.

IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A SWING
AT ME FOR TELLING YOU THE TRUTH,

- GO AHEAD.
- THANK YOU, DR. FREUD.

- WHAT ARE YOU, MY SHRINK?
- HEY, DON'T KNOCK THERAPY.

I LOSE A LOT OF BUSINESS
BY SENDING CLIENTS

TO A GOOD MARRIAGE COUNSELOR.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
HAPPENING TO ME.

I'M DESPERATE. I
CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT.

I CRY... I CRY ALL THE TIME.

CAN YOU IMAGINE ME
PUNCHING SOMEBODY?

I NEVER PUNCHED
ANYBODY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
GOING ON. HELP ME.

LOOK, I'M GOING TO PUT YOU
IN TOUCH WITH JEANNE RUBENS.

SHE'S A FIRST-RATE THERAPIST.

- FINE. ANYTHING.
- WILL DAVE GO?

DAVE WILL DO ANYTHING
I TELL HIM TO DO.

HOW LONG HAD YOU AND JACKIE BEEN
MARRIED AT THE TIME THAT SHE DIED?

FOUR YEARS, THREE MONTHS. I WAS IN THE
SERVICE STATIONED IN EL PASO WHEN WE MET.

THE DAY SHE GOT HER DIVORCE
PAPERS, WE GOT MARRIED.

WHAT WAS IT THAT MADE YOU
TAKE HER TO THE HOSPITAL, RAY?

SHE HADN'T BEEN FEELING
WELL FOR A FEW WEEKS.

SHE COULDN'T HOLD DOWN HER FOOD.

SHE WAS TIRED ALL THE TIME.

AT FIRST, WE THOUGHT
IT WAS JUST A BUG,

BUT THEN IT SEEMED
TO BE GETTING WORSE.

I WAS ALWAYS ON HER
TO GO TO A DOCTOR,

BUT SHE'D PUT IT
OFF AND PUT IT OFF.

FINALLY, SHE WANTED TO GO.

COULD YOU TELL US,
IN YOUR OWN WORDS,

EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED
WHEN YOU GOT THERE?

FIRST WE FILLED OUT SOME
FORMS, THEN WE WAITED.

I GUESS WE WERE
THERE ABOUT TWO HOURS,

WHEN A NURSE CAME OVER AND
ASKED US HOW WE INTENDED TO PAY.

I SAID I HAD $100 WITH ME, AND I
WOULD HAVE TO OWE THE REST.

SHE SAID IT DIDN'T
WORK THAT WAY.

THEY'D LOOK AT HER,

BUT THEY DIDN'T ADMIT ANYONE
WHO DIDN'T HAVE INSURANCE.

DID THEY LOOK AT HER?

FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES.

DOCTOR TOOK HER BEHIND A CURTAIN

AND THEN TOLD US TO
WAIT FOR THE RESULTS.

ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO
LATER, HE CAME BACK AND SAID,

"GO HOME, HONEY.
YOU GOT THE FLU."

TELL US WHAT HAPPENED THEN, RAY.

WE TOOK A BUS HOME,
AND I PUT HER TO BED.

THE NEXT MORNING, SHE COULDN'T
EVEN LIFT HER HEAD OFF THE PILLOW.

I SAT BY HER ALL DAY.

I TRIED TO GET HER TO HAVE
A LITTLE SOUP, OR SOMETHING,

BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT IT.

AND... IT WAS
STARTING TO GET DARK

WHEN SHE GRABBED MY HAND AND

JUST LIKE THAT, SHE WAS GONE.

THAT WAS FIVE AND
A HALF YEARS AGO.

YEAH.

- DO YOU STILL MISS HER?
- OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR. INFLAMMATORY.

STRICTLY RELEVANT.

- OVERRULED.
- RAY?

MISS HER?

UM...

I STILL FEEL LIKE
I'M MARRIED TO HER.

MOST SUNDAYS, I...
I SIT BY HER GRAVE.

A DAY DOESN'T GO BY
THAT I DON'T THINK OF HER.

I HAVE NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

MR. SPITZER, I'M
SURE YOU DON'T MIND

BEGINNING YOUR CROSS-EXAMINATION
TOMORROW MORNING.

NO, YOUR HONOR,
I... I DON'T MIND.

HER CLOTHES ARE STILL
HANGING IN THE CLOSET.

PEOPLE SAID I SHOULD
GET RID OF THEM, BUT...

HOW AM I GOING TO JUST PACK
THEM IN SOME CARDBOARD BOX?

HOW AM I GOING TO DO THAT?

YES?

- THEY'RE HERE.
- OH, SEND THEM IN.

- IS IT TRUE? CAN IT REALLY BE TRUE?
- ARRIVED THIS MORNING.

IT'S PACKED IN DRY ICE.

I SHOULD GET IT TO A
MORTUARY, OR SOMETHING,

AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

OH, IZZY.

IS IT REALLY FINALLY YOU?

WE SHOULD PROBABLY
CHECK THIS TIME, TO BE SURE.

OH, IT'S HIM. TRUST ME.

WE TRUSTED THE
MORTUARY. I WANT TO SEE HIM.

I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD...

I'M GOING TO LOOK.

IT'S IZZY, ALL RIGHT.

HE LOOKS GOOD.

WHY SHOULDN'T HE LOOK GOOD?

HE JUST CAME BACK FROM FLORIDA.

OK, CLOSE THE BOX.

HE'S GOT THAT LITTLE SMILE
HE ALWAYS USED TO HAVE.

- YOU KNOW?
- CLOSE IT, MORTY, PLEASE.

OH, MY HONEY.

MY DEAR SWEET MAN.

YOU ARE FINALLY BACK WITH US.

TAKE YOUR UNCLE.

IT WAS ALWAYS HIS WISH

THAT YOU CARRY HIM
TO HIS RESTING PLACE.

AND DON'T DROP HIM.

OK LET ME GET THIS
NOW. COME ON, MORTY.

OK. ALL RIGHT, GO SLOW. GO SLOW.

SYLVIA, COME ON,
MOVE UP. COME ON.

VERY GOOD. EXCUSE ME.

ALL RIGHT, MORTY.

COME ON. MORTY, SLOW DOWN.

MILTON, COME ON,
MILTON, MOVE IT.

OK. VERY GOOD. VERY GOOD.

LET'S GO. SLOWLY.

GOOD. GOOD.

- UH-HUH.
- LOOK OUT!

- AAH!
- OH, NO!

OH, MY GOD!

MR. DAVIS, WAS YOUR
WIFE AN AMERICAN CITIZEN?

YES, SHE WAS.

- AND DID SHE SHE LIVE
HERE ALL HER LIFE?
- YEAH.

TELL ME, SIR, CAN YOU
IDENTIFY HER HANDWRITING?

SURE.

PLEASE TELL THE COURT
IF THAT'S HER SIGNATURE.

WHAT IS THIS?

SIR, IS THAT YOUR
WIFE'S SIGNATURE?

IT LOOKS LIKE HER SIGNATURE.

YOUR HONOR, THAT
HASN'T BEEN MARKED.

YOUR HONOR, I HAVE HERE A CERTIFIED
COPY OF JACKIE DAVIS' DIVORCE DECREE,

AND I OFFER IT
FOR IDENTIFICATION.

WHAT'S THE POINT?

THE POINT, MR. KUZAK,

IS THAT THIS DIVORCE DECREE
WAS ISSUED IN JUAREZ, MEXICO,

RIGHT ACROSS THE
BORDER FROM EL PASO.

THE CERTIFICATE, SIGNED
BY JACQUELINE DAVIS,

THEN JACQUELINE BAKER,
ATTESTING TO MEXICAN DOMICILE,

IS FRAUDULENT.

WE GOT MARRIED BY A JUSTICE
OF THE PEACE IN EL PASO.

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE DIVORCE
WAS OBTAINED IN MEXICO, MR. DAVIS?

YEAH, I KNEW. WE WERE
IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER.

HER HUSBAND WOULDN'T
GIVE HER A DIVORCE.

EVERYONE SAID IT
WAS THE FASTEST WAY.

UH, YOUR HONOR? REQUEST A
RECESS SO I CAN TALK TO MY CLIENT.

I AM NOT GRANTING ANY
RECESSES RIGHT NOW, MR. KUZAK.

YOU SHOULD'VE KNOWN
YOUR MARRIAGE WAS VOID, SIR.

- VOID?
- SIDE BAR, YOUR HONOR.

SHE WAS MY WIFE, JUDGE.

I DON'T CARE WHAT
THE PAPER SAYS.

GO AHEAD, MR. SPITZER.
MAKE YOUR MOTION.

I MOVE TO DISMISS,

BASED ON THE PLAINTIFF'S
LACK OF STANDING TO SUE.

BASED ON WHAT? A PHOTO STATIC COPY
OF SOME DIVORCE PAPERS FROM MEXICO?

MR. KUZAK, THESE PAPERS
MAY BE ALL HE NEEDS.

MR. DAVIS, I'M SORRY.

PENDING THE SUBMISSION
OF WRITTEN MEMORANDA,

I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO GRANT
DEFENSE COUNSEL'S MOTION.

THE JURY IS EXCUSED.

THIS COURT IS ADJOURNED.

SO WE APPEAL, RIGHT?

THE JUDGE IS WRONG,
RIGHT? SHE'S WRONG.

- I DON'T THINK SHE IS, RAY.
- BUT ONE THING HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH THE OTHER.

IF THE HOSPITAL'S
WRONG, THEY WERE WRONG.

- THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN THAT.
- NO, THERE'S NOT. NO, THERE'S NOT.

A HOSPITAL'S SUPPOSED TO
TAKE CARE OF YOU IF YOUR SICK.

RAY,

YOU DON'T HAVE STANDING, RAY.

YOU WEREN'T LEGALLY MARRIED.

AND YOU KNEW ABOUT
THE MEXICAN DIVORCE.

THAT MEANS THAT NO MATTER
WHAT THE HOSPITAL DID TO JACKIE,

ACCORDING TO THE
LAW, YOU CAN'T SUE.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE LAW.
I THOUGHT ALL WE HAD TO DO

WAS TELL WHAT HAPPENED,
THAT'S ALL IT WOULD TAKE.

A JURY WOULD SAY, "THEY
CAN'T DO THIS TO YOU.

THEY CAN'T TREAT YOU
LIKE YOU'RE NOTHING."

LIKE IT DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE
WHETHER YOU LIVE OR DIE.

DAMN.

I'M SORRY, RAY. I SHOULDN'T
HAVE LET IT HAPPEN.

YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT, MIKE.

I CAN'T BLAME YOU.

YOU WERE THE ONLY
ONE WHO WAS ON MY SIDE.

I COULD'VE DONE BETTER.

SHE'S GONE, MIKE.

IT ISN'T FAIR.

IT ISN'T RIGHT.

NO.

NO, IT ISN'T.

WHAT KIND OF LAW FIRM DID YOU
USED TO WORK FOR, DOROTHY?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- WE JUST GOT DISMISSED
ON THE DAVIS CASE.
- WHY?

JACQUELINE DAVIS
GOT A BOGUS DIVORCE

WHICH VOIDS HER MARRIAGE TO RAY.

RAY'S NOW OUT OF COURT.

I SAW THE MARRIAGE
LICENSE AND STOPPED THERE.

I KNOW YOU DID. IF YOU HADN'T,
WE MIGHT HAVE COME SOMETHING.

I WOULD'VE KEPT THEM OFF THE STAND,
I WOULD'VE ACCEPTED THEIR OFFER.

I WOULD'VE DONE SOMETHING
BESIDES GET TORPEDOED IN OPEN COURT.

IT WAS MY RESPONSIBILITY.
I LET YOU DOWN.

YOU BET YOU DID.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS, MICHAEL.

I'M SORRY, TOO.

IT WAS BOTH OF OUR
RESPONSIBILITIES.

IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO?

I DON'T KNOW. IF YOU THINK
OF SOMETHING, LET ME KNOW.

HE NEVER EVEN TOLD US HIS
WIFE HAD BEEN MARRIED BEFORE.

DOUGLAS, I REALLY DON'T THINK
WE HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

NO? TRUST ME.

THE LEGAL MALPRACTICE SHARKS

ARE GOING TO BE
SALIVATING FOR THIS ONE.

YOU THINK THIS WAS MALPRACTICE?

I DON'T,

BUT YOU CAN BE DAMNED SURE RAY DAVIS
IS GONNA FIND HIMSELF SOMEONE WHO DOES.

WHEN I LEFT HIM, HE WAS
A LITTLE TOO DEVASTATED

TO BE FORMULATING A BATTLE PLAN.

BELIEVE ME, THAT WON'T LAST. IN ABOUT FIVE
DAYS, THIS IS ALL GOING TO BE YOUR FAULT,

AND HE'LL COME AFTER
US LIKE THE WRATH OF GOD.

HE OUGHT TO GO AFTER SOMEBODY.

HEY, MIKE, THAT SOMEBODY IS US.

WELL, MAYBE, IT SHOULD
BE US. HOW ELSE IS HE

GOING TO GET ANY
COMPENSATION FOR THIS DISASTER?

UH-OH. THIS ATTITUDE WORRIES ME.

I HAVE A DISTINCT FEELING THAT IN
AN ATTEMPT TO OFFER COMPASSION,

YOU SERVED UP
ADMISSIONS OF NEGLIGENCE.

DOESN'T COMPASSION ENTER
INTO THIS AT ALL FOR YOU?

SO LONG AS IT DOESN'T
COST US MONEY.

AH! THE OLD REFRAIN. THE
ULTIMATE CONSIDERATION,

THE LINCHPIN UPON
WHICH ALL ISSUES TURN.

DON'T GET ALL
HIGH-MINDED ON US, MICHAEL.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SCREWED UP.

CAREFUL, DOUGLAS. YOU BETTER NOT
ACKNOWLEDGE THAT OUTSIDE THIS OFFICE.

IT MIGHT COST US MONEY.

I NEVER SAW A HEAD
WITHOUT A BODY BEFORE.

CHANCES ARE, YOU
NEVER WILL AGAIN.

I AM NOT RENEGING.

I'M JUST WONDERING WHETHER
THERE MIGHT BE A BETTER WAY

OF ADDRESSING OUR MARITAL WOES.

THERE ISN'T.

AND COULD WE NOT TALK
ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW? PLEASE?

OK. JUST CONSIDER
THIS AS AN ALTERNATIVE...

WE CANCEL THE APPOINTMENT,
CATCH THE NEXT FLIGHT TO ST. LOUIS,

AND I'LL SHOW YOU THE
HOUSE WHERE I WAS BORN.

- DAVE...
- HOW CAN YOU TAKE THAT

WHICH BELONGS IN THE SANCTUM
SANCTORUM OF OUR LIFE TOGETHER

AND PUT IT IN FULL
VIEW OF OTHERS?

WHATEVER YOU DO,
I'M BEGGING YOU...

JUST DON'T TELL HER ABOUT THE
VIDEOS I MADE OF YOU IN VEGAS.

SHE'LL PICK ME APART.

THIS POOR BASTARD TRUSTS ME
TO GET HIM SOME PITIFUL EXCUSE

FOR COMPENSATION,
SOME MONEY, AND I BLOW IT.

HE GETS SCREWED BY THE DOCTORS,
HE GETS SCREWED BY THE LAWYERS,

AND IN THE END, WE ALL HAVE A MILLION
REASONS WHY WE'RE NOT TO BLAME.

MICHAEL, HE NEVER
MENTIONED HIS WIFE'S DIVORCE.

THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF THING
YOU CAN BE EXPECTED TO DISCOVER.

WELL, SPITZER DISCOVERED IT.

WELL, HE PLAYED
OUT A LUCKY HUNCH.

THAT ANY GOOD
LAWYER WOULD HAVE HAD.

YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS TOLD YOU
WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE TO BLAME.

THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES.

YOUR ASSOCIATE WAS SUPPOSED
TO DIG UP STUFF LIKE THIS.

I WAS THE ONE ASKING
RAY THE QUESTIONS,

I HAD TWO YEARS TO ASK HIM
THE RIGHT ONES AND I NEVER DID.

I CAN'T BLAME AN
ASSOCIATE FOR THAT.

ANYWAY... I LIKE THIS
GUY, YOU KNOW? I...

I HATE LIKE HELL TO SEE
HIM WIND UP LIKE THIS.

COME ON, MICKEY, LET'S GO HOME.

OOPS, SORRY.

- LIEUTENANT RINGSTROM.
- MISS VAN OWEN.

YOU KNOW MICHAEL KUZAK?

- YEAH, THE WHITEY HOLLAND
SHOOTING.
- RIGHT.

HI.

OH, I'M SORRY.

MISS VAN OWEN,
FROM THE D.A.'S OFFICE

MR. KUZAK, THIS
IS MY WIFE SALLY.

WELL, ENJOY YOUR EVENING.

- THANK YOU. NICE MEETING YOU.
- THANKS, YOU, TOO

SO, HERE WE ARE.

HERE YOU ARE.

HERE TO EXPLORE
THE MARITAL TERRAIN.

YES.

I HOPE YOU HAVE
FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE.

I'M NOT SURE I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.

JUST A LITTLE QUIP.

I HAVE TO SAY, IN ALL HONESTY,

THAT I WAS A LITTLE
RELUCTANT TO COME HERE.

WERE YOU?

NOT TO IMPUGN
THE PROCESS, BUT...

SELF-EXAMINATION...

INTROSPECTION...

DELVING INTO WHY
WE DO WHAT WE DO...

THIS HAS NEVER BEEN MY FORTE.

WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO COME?

SIMPLE RECOGNITION THAT
A MIDCOURSE CORRECTION

MAY BE INDICATED. I'M NOT UNAWARE
THAT THERE MAY BE TROUBLE IN PARADISE,

NOR AM I OBLIVIOUS TO THE
FACT THAT ROXANNE IS UNHAPPY.

ARE YOU UNHAPPY, ROXANNE?

- YES.
- DO YOU KNOW WHY?

CORRECT ME IF I'M
HERE WRONG, ROXANNE,

BUT I THINK IT IS MOSTLY

A MATTER OF FAULTY
COMMUNICATIONS.

AN INNOCENT COMMENT
IS MISCONSTRUED,

A SUPPORTIVE GESTURE
IS MISINTERPRETED.

SUDDENLY YOU HAVE THIS KIND
OF DOMESTIC BERMUDA TRIANGLE,

WHERE EVERY ATTEMPT AT
FORGING A BOND GETS LOST.

ROXANNE?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
THAT MEANS, DAVID.

LACK OF COMMUNICATION.

THIS IS OUR PROBLEM
IN A NUTSHELL.

EXCUSE ME.

THE PROBLEM IN A NUTSHELL

IS THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU.

I HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU.

I'M AFRAID THAT I WILL
NEVER BE ABLE TO LOVE YOU.

THAT IS OUR PROBLEM
IN A NUTSHELL.

WELL...

I THINK WE HAVE A
LOT OF WORK TO DO.