L.A. Law (1986–1994): Season 2, Episode 13 - Beauty and Obese - full transcript

Kuzak represents Lynn Stetler, a lawyer suing the law firm she was fired from because of her obesity. Meanwhile, Grace refuses to take the case of John Vincent, her first client offered in her new partnership arrangement because of his alleged mafia connections. Markowitz inherits $30 million after an elderly, senile client dies and he faces a dissenting chorus which include Kelsey, a televangelist, and the client's disgruntled children all after the money. Also, Rollins makes a self-serving TV appearance on a talk show that rankles his co-workers, which leads to them scaring Rollins in a practical joke. Then Rollins finally wises up and decides to even the score.

PREVIOUSLY ON L.A. LAW.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

VERSUS ROXANNE
MELMAN'S OWN TRUE LOVE?

SHE'S UNDER SUBPOENA.

SHE AGREES TO TESTIFY
AGAINST MARCUM,

GIVE UP WHATEVER
PROFIT SHE MADE,

US ATTORNEYS WILLING
TO LET IT GO WITH THAT.

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO
THE COURT, YOUR HONOR,

I REFUSE TO ANSWER.

TAKE THE WITNESS INTO CUSTODY.

YOU'RE A TERRIFIC LITIGATOR



WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED
TO COMPLIMENT MY STRENGTHS.

I JUST, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

SAY.

YOU'LL THINK VERY
SERIOUSLY ABOUT IT.

I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING
TO SAY IS, I'M LEAVING.

I WANT TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING ABOUT JIMMY MARCUM

THAT YOU'RE
OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW.

I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND.

OH, MY GOD.

MRS. MELMAN DOES YOUR
PRESENCE HERE SUGGEST THAT

YOU'RE NOW READY TO DISCHARGE

THE CONTEMPT CITATION
AGAINST YOU AND TESTIFY?

YES, I AM.

OH, NICE WATCH. CAN I HAVE IT?



WHAT?

IT'S TICK UP TIME.

STUART!

WITH US THIS MORNING
ARE BRAD SANFORD,

ROSILY BASKIN AND
JONATHAN ROLLINS,

RECENTLY SITED IN
SOUTHLAND MAGAZINE

AS THE HOTTEST YOUNG
LAWYERS IN LOS ANGELES.

GOOD MORNING AND WELCOME.

GOOD MORNING. HI.

YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD, JONATHAN.

GREAT SUIT.

HE LOOKS GREAT.

BEING ACKNOWLEDGED LIKE
THIS, MORE CLIENTS, BETTER CASES.

ROLLINS?

THE BIGGEST CONSEQUENCE IS THAT

THE PARTNERS ARE BEGINNING
TO REMEMBER MY NAME.

AND MY FIRM HAS
OVER 300 LAWYERS.

LITTLE MORE COFFEE, DO YOU WANT?

AND IT'S AN ACCOMPLISHMENT

JUST TO BE RECOGNIZED
IN YOUR OWN OFFICE.

AND BRAD, YOUR FIRM HAS
OVER 400 LAWYERS, RIGHT?

425.

THE FIRMS ARE DEFINITELY
GETTING BIGGER IN LA

EITHER BY GROWTH OR MERGER.

"HOT" ATTORNEY.

HOW ABOUT YOU, JONATHAN?

ACCORDING TO THE ARTICLE,

YOU ARE PURSUED BY EVERY
WALL STREET FIRM IN NEW YORK

AND ALL THE BIG BOYS IN LA

AND YOU CHOSE TO GO WITH
TEENY TINY MCKENZIE BRACKMAN.

TEENY TINY?

I LIKE TO THINK OF THIS
MORE AS A BOUTIQUE

THAN AS TEENY TINY.

BOUTIQUE?

OKAY. THAT'S FAIR.

BUT STILL, WHY
MCKENZIE BRACKMAN?

I DON'T KNOW GOOD MONEY.

SERIOUSLY?

SERIOUSLY.

TRUTH IS IT'S GREAT
WITH GOOD PEOPLE.

WHAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT
FROM THE BIGGER FIRMS?

I'M NOT SURE, BASICALLY
A LAW FIRM IS A LAW FIRM.

YOU KNOW, WE'VE ALL GOT THE
PATERNALISTIC SENIOR PARTNER.

WE GOT THE
ADMINISTRATIVE PARTNER

WHO COUNTS EVERY PAPERCLIP.

OURS TO MAKE YOU
SIGNUP FOR SOFT DRINKS.

A NABASHI TAX GUY.

NABASHI?

DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

A COUPLE OF MOLES IN THE LIBRARY,
A LECHEROUS DIVORCE LAWYER.

WE'VE GOT YOUR BASIC
CIVIL RIGHTS IN THAT.

OUR RESEARCH COUNT AND A
COUPLE CRUSADING LIBERALS,

A WOMAN'S LIBBER AND A
LITTLE BIT OF COLOR, FOR SHOW.

SO AM I THE LIBBER
OR THE LIBERAL?

NABASHI, YOU BELIEVE THAT?

WHAT ABOUT YOUR PEERS,
AREN'T THEY A LITTLE BIT JEALOUS

OF ALL THE ATTENTION
YOU'VE BEEN GETTING?

I'VE SENSE SOME COOLNESS GENE,

BUT I THINK THEY'RE MATURE
ENOUGH TO ACCEPT MY STATUS.

I THINK THEY LIKE
MY FEARLESS STYLE.

AND YOUR MODESTY.

NOW TRUTHFULLY, THE
LAWYERS OF MCKENZIE BRACKMAN

HAVE BEEN VERY SUPPORTIVE.

I BET THEY'VE WATCHING THIS
RIGHT NOW AND CHEERING ME ON.

PEOPLE, WE CAN GET STARTED.

STUART, I SEE YOU HAVE
A MEETING SCHEDULED

WITH THE CHILDREN.

YEAH, THEY'RE A LITTLE UPSET.

MOM CUT THEM OUT OF THE WILL

AND LEFT EVERYTHING
TO A TV EVANGELIST.

YES, WELL, SINCE IT'S A
MULTIMILLION DOLLAR ESTATE,

I URGE YOUR DILIGENCE.

MICHAEL, STATLER VERSUS
GOODWIN PROCTER, AN ENGLANDER.

AH, THE JURY HAS PICKED,
WE'RE READY TO GO.

OPPOSING COUNSEL IS
COMING IN THIS MORNING

TO MAKE THEIR FINAL OFFER.

JUST BETWEEN US,

I WOULD'VE FIRED
SOMEBODY THAT FAT MYSELF.

I'M SURPRISED THEY HIRED
HER IN THE FIRST PLACE.

SHE HAPPENS TO
BE ONE OF THE MOST

COMPETENT ATTORNEYS
I'VE EVER MET.

AND THE SIZE OF HER BODY

IS HER BUSINESS
AND NO ONE ELSE'S.

THANK GOD.

MOVING ON, MISS. KELSEY,

WHAT'S THIS MEETING WITH
GENERAL SCANNING INC.?

NEW CLIENT, LASER TECHNOLOGY.

THEY WANT TO TRADEMARK
SOME OF THEIR SPECIAL EFFECTS,

HOLOGRAMS OR SOMETHING.

CAN YOU GET A TRADEMARK
ON A SPECIAL EFFECT?

YOU MEAN TRANSPARENT 3D IMAGERY?

I READ.

ANYWAY, I WILL
KNOW MORE ABOUT IT

AS SOON AS I FOUND OUT
EXACTLY WHAT IT IS THEY DO.

GOOD MORNING.

HERE'S THE SUPERSTAR.

YEAH, THANKS JONATHAN.

LECHEROUS?

HEY, I DIDN'T MEAN YOU.

NABASHI?

I WAS TALKING IN GENERALITIES.

YEAH, RIGHT.

HEY, COME ON.

WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR?

IT'S BURIED BENEATH THE
TOWEL INTERROGATORIES

WHICH I WANT FINISHED ON MY DESK

TOMORROW MORNING, MR. HOT SHOT.

TOMORROW, I'LL BE UP ALL NIGHT.

YOU CAN DO IT FOR THE
GOOD OF THE BOUTIQUE.

THIS IS RETALIATORY.

IF IT'LL MAKE YOU
FEEL ANY BETTER,

WE'LL ALL BE HOME IN FRONT OF
OUR TELEVISIONS CHEERING YOU ON.

WE'RE ADJOURNED.

STUART, ARE YOU... ON
THE FITSEMEN'S MATTER?

YEAH.

ABBY TELLS ME THAT
POLICE GOT TO STICKUP MAN.

THE F.B. BAND IS
NO LONGER LARGE.

YOU GOT TO TRYING
TO FENCE THE ROLEX.

WELL, I'M GLAD.

STUART AND I ID-ED
HIM LAST NIGHT.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT
THE DIAMOND RING?

GONE FOREVER, BUT AT LEAST WE
GOT OUR PRESSURE WATCH BACK.

MIKE, STETLER IS
HERE TO SEE YOU.

BE SURE AND TELL ME
WHEN TRISCHUTA GETS HERE.

I'LL DO IT.

SO, ARE YOU ALL SET?

I'M READY. ANY WORD
FROM THE OTHER SIDE?

NOT YET COME ON IN.

MICHAEL. YEAH.

I NOTICE THAT THE DIETITIAN
IS NOT ON OUR WITNESS LIST.

WELL, THE FACT THAT YOU
TRIED TO LOOSE THE WEIGHT

ISN'T REALLY RELEVANT.

NOT LEGALLY MAYBE,

BUT I'LL BE MUCH MORE
SYMPATHETIC TO THE JURY

IF THEY KNOW I MADE THE EFFORT.

THAT'S TRUE.

AND WE SHOULD ESTABLISH
THAT MY PARENTS WERE HEAVY

AND THIS IS PROBABLY GENETIC,
MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES MAYBE.

MA'AM, I GOT IT COVERED.

SORRY.

IT'S JUST THAT I KNOW OF
YOU MUCH LESS BLAMEWORTHY

IF WE CAN PROVE
THAT MY CONDITION

IS A PRODUCT OF
METABOLISM AND NOT APPETITE.

YEAH?

MICHAEL, TRISCHUTA
IS HERE TO SEE YOU.

UH, I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.

SHOULD I GO OR STAY?

LET ME TAKE A
WHACK AT THIS ALONE.

NOT A PENNY UNDER
135, COUNSELOR.

ALL RIGHT.

AND NOTHING STRUCTURED.

MRS. STELLAR.

MR. TRISCHUTA.

WELL, JOHN, WHAT'S
THE GOOD WORD?

$50.

NOPE, IT'S GOING TO TAKE A $150.

OH, COME ON, MICHAEL,
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

WELL, THIS IS DISCRIMINATION.

WAIT, WAIT.

YOU WANT TO SHOW ME THE
CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT

FOR FAT PEOPLE?

IT WAS BAD FAITH
TERMINATION, JOHN.

THEY FIRED HER FOR
BEING OVERWEIGHT

WHEN SHE WEIGHED
EXACTLY THE SAME

AS THE DAY THAT THEY HIRED HER.

MICHAEL, YOU'VE GOT
AN IMPOSSIBLE CASE HERE.

YOU NEVER GOING
TO SHOW BAD FAITH.

YOU CAN'T POINT TO
ONE SINGLE INCIDENT

WHERE HER WEIGHT IMPACTED
ON HER PERFORMANCE.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT
TO TRY THIS ONE.

WE BOTH KNOW WE'LL
HAVE TO GO AFTER

AND IT'S NOT GOING TO BE PRETTY.

PLEASE LET'S MAKE IT GO
AWAY SO NOBODY GETS HURT.

FINE.

BUT HER GOING AWAY PRICE

IS $150, BUT FOR YOU $145.

AH, YOU'RE GOING TO
MAKE ME GO IN THERE

AND BE THE BIG BAD
WOLF, AREN'T YOU?

SURE YOU DON'T WANT ONE?

I MEAN, DOESN'T IT
SEEM STRANGE TO YOU

LEAVING EVERYTHING
TO A TV EVANGELIST

NAMED BILLY BOB THOMAS?

YOU SEE, GALE, IT'S HER MONEY.

SHE'S GOT THAT RIGHT.

WHAT ABOUT OUR RIGHTS?

ITS FAMILY MONEY
AND WE'RE HER FAMILY.

LOOK, WE WERE THINKING,

WHAT ABOUT THE
POSSIBILITY OF MAYBE

GETTING HER DECLARED
INCOMPETENT OR SOMETHING.

WHOA.

I MAYBE THE FAMILY LAWYER,

BUT I'M YOUR
MOTHER'S LAWYER FIRST.

IF YOU GUYS WANT TO BECOME
ADVERSARIAL ABOUT THIS,

I'M GOING TO ADVICE YOU TO
SEEK INDEPENDENT COUNSEL.

LOOK, WE DON'T WANT TO HIRE
SOME SHARK TO ATTACK HER.

BUT, COME ON, WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT $30 MILLION.

SHE'S PREPARED TO THROW
AWAY ON SOME TWO-BIT PREACHER

WITH THREE FIRST NAMES.

HER HEALTH IS FAILING AS IT IS.

WE'D LIKE TO WORK THIS
OUT WITHOUT HURTING HER.

OH, THAT'S VERY ADMIRABLE.

BUT IF YOU GO INTO COURT
CHALLENGING HER SANITY,

I GUARANTEE YOU'RE
GOING TO HURT HER A LOT.

AND WHAT ABOUT THE HURT
SHE'S ALWAYS INFLICTED ON US?

SHE'S ALWAYS USED
THE MONEY AS A CLUB.

WHAT IF YOU TALK TO HER?

SHE TRUSTS YOU.

YOU DON'T THINK YOU WANT
TO TALK TO HER YOURSELVES.

WE'VE TRIED.

IT ALWAYS ENDS UP WITH HER
GIVING US THE SILENT TREATMENT.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO, OKAY?

COME IN.

ARNIE.

THERE'S A MISTAKE
IN MY PAYCHECK.

IT'S A $100 MORE THAN
IT SUPPOSED TO BE.

I AFFIRM THAT IT'S YOUR RAISE.

A RAISE?

A WEEK AGO THEY
WERE GOING TO FIRE ME.

IT'S OUT OF YOUR
POCKET, ISN'T IT?

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
WHERE IT COMES FROM?

THANK YOU, ARNIE, FOR THIS.

FOR STICKING BY ME,

FOR NOT CLUBBING ME ON THE HEAD

WITH THAT I TOLD
YOU SO ABOUT TO ME.

ROX, YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST PERSON

TO FALL IN LOVE
AND MAKE A MISTAKE.

I GUESS I'D FEEL
BETTER ABOUT MYSELF

IF IT WAS JUST LOVE.

IT WASN'T.

I WAS SEDUCED BY THE
MONEY ALL AROUND ME,

EVERYDAY I SEE PEOPLE
WITH GREAT CLOTHES,

GREAT CARS, GREAT HOUSES.

IT GETS TO ME SOMETIMES.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH WANTING THE SAME THING

AS EVERYONE ELSE, ROX.

OH, I KNOW.

I KNOW I CAN WANT THEM.

THE DIFFERENCE IS,

I WAS STEALING THEM.

ANYWAY, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,

I'M PRETTY GLAD
YOU'RE IN MY CORNER.

OUCH. THE HAIR.

THIS IS JOHN WINSON OF
WINSON CONSTRUCTION.

SO?

SO, WHAT IS HE WANT FROM US?

HE WANTS US TO REPRESENT
HIS NEPHEW IN A CRIMINAL MATTER.

YOU MEAN, HE WANTS
ME TO REPRESENT HIM?

YOU'RE THE LITIGATOR, NOT ME.

CHARLIE, JOHN WINSON
IS REPUTED TO BE

ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL FIGURES

IN ORGANIZED CRIME IN THE
WESTERN UNITED STATES.

I THINK THE KEY WORD
THERE IS REPUTED.

WE START TURNING AWAY CLIENTS

BECAUSE THAT'S SORT
OF A VICIOUS GOSSIP.

HEY, I WAS A DA, REMEMBER?

THIS GAY HAS BEEN LINKED TO

RACKETEERING,
PROSTITUTION, DRUGS, MURDER,

I DON'T THINK WE WANT TO
START REPRESENTING MOBSTERS.

HAS HE EVER BEEN
CONVICTED OF A CRIME?

NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE.

HAS HE EVER BEEN CHARGED?

NO.

HAVE YOU EVER EVEN MET THE MAN?

NO.

GRACE, WE'RE A LAW FIRM.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO
BE LOOKING FOR CLIENTS.

DON'T YOU THINK A FACE TO
FACE MEETING IS CALLED FOR HERE

BEFORE YOU DECIDE
TO TURN DOWN A CLIENT

WHO COULD CONCEIVABLY FUNNEL

AN ENORMOUS VOLUME
OF LEGAL WORK OUR WAY?

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL MEET WITH HIM.

AT A GIRL.

I'LL SET IT UP.

HELLO.

HELLO!

JUST A LASER SHOW, MR. FEARLESS.

HERE'S YOUR GHOST.
HERE'S YOUR GHOST.

OUT OF THOSE
INTERROGATORIES COMING.

THAT'S FUNNY.

THAT'S REAL FUNNY.
THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I THINK HE TOOK IT VERY WELL.

I'M TOLD YOU DIDN'T APPRECIATE
WHAT HAPPEN LAST NIGHT.

NOT TRUE.

I THINK I FULLY APPRECIATED
WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT.

EVERYONE ACTING
CALLS IT TO EMBRACE ME.

WELL, YOU KNOW, JONATHAN.

THE PEACOCK THAT SPREADS
AROUND WITH ITS FEATHERS OUT

MAKES FOR AN EASY TARGET.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO CAUSE
THAT KIND OF RESENTMENT, LELAND.

IF YOU ASK ME THE RESENTMENT
WAS WAITING FOR ME,

THE FIRST DAY I WALKED
THROUGH THESE DOORS.

YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?

WELL, YOU PRANCED
AROUND, TELLING EVERYONE,

YOU WERE MAKING MORE MONEY.

YOU DEFIED MY DIRECT
INSTRUCTIONS, SEVERAL TIMES.

YOU CONNIVED TO STEAL
A CLIENT FROM STUART.

YOU SETUP A SMOKE
BOMB IN A DEPOSITION

AND NOW YOU MOCK
US ON TELEVISION.

THAT'S DOING
SOMETHING, JONATHAN.

IF I TEND TO BE AGGRESSIVE,
IT'S BECAUSE AS A BLACK MAN

I FEEL I HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF.

PEOPLE HERE LOOK AT ME
AND SEE AFFIRMATIVE ACTION,

NOBODY IS GOING TO
ACCEPT ME, LELAND.

THEY THINK I'M JUST PART OF AN
EQUAL OPPORTUNITY PROGRAM.

WE ACCEPTED YOU
THE DAY WE HIRED YOU

AND I THINK YOU KNOW THAT.

AND I SUPPOSE LAST
NIGHT'S CRUEL JOKE

WAS JUST A WAY OF SAYING
WELCOME TO THE CLUB.

WELL, ACTUALLY IT WAS
A LOT MORE THAN THAT.

IT WAS A WAY OF
KNOCKING YOU DOWN A PEG.

YOU NEED OUR HELP,
JONATHAN AND OUR FRIENDSHIP

THAT YOU'VE BEEN TOO ARROGANT

AND TOO SELF-IMPORTANT,
TOO ACCEPTIVE.

AND THAT HAS NOTHING TO
DO WITH COLOR, MY FRIEND.

THAT JOKE LAST NIGHT
SERVED TWO PURPOSES,

TO LET YOU KNOW
HOW ANGRY WE WERE

AND TO INVITE YOU TO SHARE
A LAUGH WITH EVERYBODY

AT YOUR OWN EXPENSE.

AND I THINK YOU MISSED A POINT

ON BOTH COUNTS.

WHO I LEAVE MY MONEY TO IS
NOT YOUR CONCERN, STUART.

YOUR JOB IS TO
CARRY OUT MY WISHES

NOT TO SHAPE THEM.

ALL I'M TRYING TO
DO IS LOCATE EXACTLY

WHAT IT IS YOUR WISHES ARE.

OH, I TOLD YOU.

EVERY PENNY TO THE
REVEREND. AM I BEING AMBIGUOUS?

YEAH. YEAH.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,
YOU'RE BEING AMBIGUOUS.

THAT HOSTILE TONE IN YOUR
VOICE IS MORE COMPATIBLE

WITH AN ACTIVE VENGEANCE
THAN IT IS WITH CHARITY.

IT SEEMS TO ME YOU'RE
MUCH MORE INTERESTED

IN TAKING AWAY THAN
YOU'RE GIVING TOO.

WELL, YOU'RE FLAT OUT WRONG.

AM I?

I'VE KNOWN YOU LONG
TIME, MRS. LUNDSTRUM.

YOU'VE BEEN INVOLVED
WITH THE HOMELESS,

ENVIRONMENTAL GROUPS,
ALL LONG LIST OF CHARITIES,

ANYONE OF WHICH YOU
COULD'VE GIVEN YOUR MONEY TO

AND YET YOU CHOSE TO GIVE IT

TO THE REVEREND
BILLY BOB THOMAS,

DIAMOND STUDDED
CABLE TV PREACHER.

WHY?

I HAVE MY REASONS.

I THINK I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.

IF YOU HAD CHOSEN ANY ONE
OF THESE WORTHY CHARITIES,

YOU WOULD RUN THE RISK OF NOT
HURTING YOUR CHILDREN ENOUGH.

BUT BY CHOOSING
THIS PULPIT THUMPER

THEN THEY REALLY GET
THE MESSAGE, DON'T THEY?

WHAT MESSAGE WOULD THEY
GET IF I LEFT THEM EVERYTHING?

THAT I'M GRATEFUL, THEY
NEVER COME TO SEE ME,

THAT I ENJOY EATING
ALONE EVERY SUNDAY,

THAT I RELISH THE HALLOW ECHO

OF AN EMPTY HOSPITAL
ROOM WHEN I'M SICK.

THEY COME A FEW TIMES A YEAR,
CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING

WITH THE WORD OBLIGATION
WRITTEN ALL OVER THEIR FACES.

WELL, YEAH, THEY'RE GROWN UP.

THEY HAVE THEIR
OWN LIVES TO LEAD.

I'M STILL THEIR MOTHER.

THERE'S STILL A FEW THINGS
I CAN DO TO PUNISH THEM.

LOOK, OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN GIVE
YOUR MONEY TO ANYBODY YOU WANT.

I JUST THINK THAT THIS WAY

THE VERY LAST TESTAMENT
OF EDITH LUNDSTRUM

IS AN ACTIVE BITTERNESS.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S RIGHT.

WHAT YOU'VE WRITTEN
HERE IS AN ENDING,

AN ENDING TO A RELATIONSHIP
THAT'S NOT OVER YET.

I WOULD LIKE YOUR PERMISSION
TO TEAR THIS THING UP.

GRACE, JOHN VINCENT,
GRACE VAN OWEN.

A GENUINE PLEASURE,
MISS. VAN OWEN.

THANK YOU.

PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.

I'VE BEEN ADMIRER OF
YOU AS FOR SOMETIME.

YOU'RE A FINE ATTORNEY.

THANK YOU.

TOUGH MINDED,
AGGRESSIVE BUT PRINCIPLED,

THAT'S QUALITIES I ADMIRE.

YOU'RE EMBRACING
ME, MR. VINCENT.

MY FATHER WAS
MR. VINCENT, I'M JOHN.

ALL RIGHT, JOHN.

CHARLIE TELLS ME THAT YOU'RE
SEEKING REPRESENTATION

FOR YOUR NEPHEW.

YES.

TOMMY THE TERRIBLE.

I BROUGHT YOU COPIES
OF THE POLICE REPORT,

THE FILING, ATTORNEY'S MOTIONS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR

NEPHEW'S CURRENT REPRESENTATION?

NOTHING. HE'S A FINE YOUNG MAN.

BUT I FELT WE NEEDED SOMEONE

WHO REALLY KNOWS HER
WAY AROUND THE SYSTEM,

TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST ABOUT IT.

TOMMY'S A HOTHEAD.

HE'S BEEN IN AND OUT
OF TROUBLE WITH THE LAW

SINCE HE WAS A TEENAGER.

I TOOK HIM INTO THE
CONSTRUCTION BUSINESS

AS A FAVOR TO MY SISTER
AND HE'S BEEN A REAL PROJECT.

BUT HIS MURDER CHARGE IT'S
TOTALLY WITHOUT FOUNDATION.

HE'S GOT QUITE A RECORD,

ASSAULT, ASSAULT WITH INTENT,

CONCEALED WEAPON.

LOOK, MISS. VAN
OWEN, IF I CAN BE BLUNT.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

THE APPLE DOESN'T
FALL FAR FROM THE TREE,

BUT THE FACT IS CONSTRUCTION
IS A TOUGH BUSINESS.

IF YOU ACHIEVE THE
KIND OF SUCCESS I HAVE,

YOU INEVITABLY BECOME THE
OBJECT OF A LOT OF NASTY RUMORS.

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT,

BUT I'M NOT A CROOK.

I'M A LEGITIMATE BUSINESSMAN
WITH A SERIOUS FAMILY PROBLEM.

I'M TRYING TO HELP OUT WITH.

I NEED HELP AND SINCE CHARLIE
AND I ARE LONG TIME FRIENDS,

I NATURALLY CAME TO HIM.

MAY I COUNT ON YOU?

LET ME REVIEW THE CASE,

MAKE SOME CALLS
AND I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

BLESS YOU.

WE'LL HAVE SOME LUNCH,
GRACE. YOU WANT TO JOIN US?

NO, I THINK I'LL GET
ON THIS MY WAY.

THANKS.

THANK YOU AGAIN.

I LOOK FORWARD TO
HEARING FROM YOU SOON.

OKAY.

HE CALLED ME INTO HIS OFFICE

AND TOLD ME I HAD THREE MONTHS
TO FIND OTHER EMPLOYMENT.

DID HE TELL YOU WHY
YOU WERE BEING FIRED?

OBESITY.

HE SAID THAT MY APPEARANCE
WAS NOT COMMENSURATE

WITH THE FIRM'S PROFILE.

AND HAD YOU HAD ANY INDICATION
DURING THE FOUR PREVIOUS YEARS

THAT YOUR PERFORMANCE
WAS UNACCEPTABLE.

I RANK SECOND IN BILLABLE
HOURS AND FIRST IN PRODUCTIVITY.

I WAS LED TO BELIEVE I WAS ONE
OF THE FIRM'S BEST ASSOCIATES.

AND MR. LANGELLA COMES IN,
TAKES OVER HIS MANAGING PARTNER

AND SUDDENLY TELLS ME
MY POTENTIAL IS LIMITED.

DID HE SPECIFY THE NATURE
OF THESE LIMITATIONS?

HE TOLD ME, I COULD
NOT TRY CASES

SINCE JURIES WOULD
NOT ACCEPT ME.

I USED TO INTERVIEW
CANDIDATES FOR JOBS.

HE TOLD ME I WOULD
HAVE TO STOP THAT

BECAUSE THE
APPLICANTS FOUND ME...

THE WORD HE USED WAS REPULSIVE.

BASICALLY HE SAID THAT THE WORLD

HAD A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE
TOWARDS FAT PEOPLE.

AND HE DID NOT WANT THAT
FEELING RUNNING TO THE FIRM.

THANK YOU, MISS STETLER.

YOUR WITNESS.

EVEN BEFORE MR. LANGELLA
TOOK OVER HIS MANAGING PARTNER,

YOU WERE NEVER ALLOWED
TO TRY CASES, WERE YOU?

I NEVER WANTED.

BECAUSE YOU KNEW AS
THEY DID THAT THE WAY

YOU LOOKED MIGHT
ALIENATED JURY, CORRECT?

THAT IS NOT CORRECT.

I WAS HIRED AS A CORPORATE
ATTORNEY, NOT A LITIGATOR.

IT WAS NOT MY FUNCTION
TO APPEAR IN COURT.

I SEE.

BUT YOU SAID ONE OF
YOUR FUNCTIONS WAS

TO INTERVIEW APPLICANTS
FOR JOBS, RIGHT?

TELL ME WHAT DID YOU
LOOK FOR IN A CANDIDATE?

INTELLIGENCE,
COMMUNICATIVE SKILLS.

APPEARANCE?

NOT SOLELY.

NOT SOLELY BUT NO
MATTER HOW INTELLIGENT,

YOU WOULDN'T HIRE SOMEONE

IF THEIR APPEARANCE WAS
OFFENSIVE, WOULD YOU?

I'M NOT OFFENSIVE, SIR.

I DIDN'T ASK YOU THAT.

I ASKED YOU WHETHER OR
NOT YOU WOULD HIRE SOMEONE

WHOSE APPEARANCE OFFENDED YOU.

PROBABLY NOT.

SO THERE'S NOTHING IN PROPER
ABOUT DISCHARGING SOMEONE

FOR THE WAY HE OR
SHE LOOKS, IS THERE?

YOUR CLIENT WAS GUILTY,
BAD FAITH COUNSELOR.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR LEGAL
CONCLUSION, MISS STETLER,

BUT FOR NOW, JUST
ANSWER MY QUESTIONS.

HOW MANY OTHER FIRMS HAVE
YOU YOURSELF INTERVIEWED WITH

SINCE YOU'RE DISCHARGED?

I'M NOT SURE, SEVERAL.

ANY OFFERS OF EMPLOYMENT?

NO.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM,
LACK OF INTELLIGENCE

OR COMMUNICATIVE SKILLS?

OBJECTION.

DO YOU MAKE ROOM
FOR THE POSSIBILITY

MISS STETLER THAT
THESE OTHER FIRMS

FAIL TO CONSIDER YOU
BECAUSE OF YOUR OBESITY?

IT'S POSSIBLE.

AND WITH THESE OTHER FIRMS

THAN ALSO BE
GUILTY OF BAD FAITH?

OBJECTION. WITHDRAWN.

MISS STETLER, COULD YOU DESCRIBE
FOR THE COURT YOUR SOCIAL LIFE?

I OBJECT, THIS LINE
OF QUESTIONING.

YOUR HONOR, SHE'S CLAIMING
THAT THE CONDUCT OF MY CLIENT

DEVIATED FROM STANDARDS
OF HUMAN DECENCY.

AND I INTEND TO SHOW
THAT THE ASSUMPTIONS

MADE BY MY CLIENT WITH RESPECT
TO THE WITNESS AND HER OBESITY

ARE NO DIFFERENT
THAN JUDGMENTS MADE

EVERY SINGLE DAY ABOUT
HER IN ALL WALKS OF LIFE.

YEAH, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU

A VERY LITTLE ATTITUDE
HERE, COUNSELOR.

EVER BEEN MARRIED, MISS STETLER?

NO.

EVER BEEN PERSONALLY
INVOLVED WITH A MAN?

YOUR HONOR!

ISN'T IT TRUE YOU'VE NEVER
EVEN BEEN ASKED OUT ON A DATE?

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

I AGREE, MR. TRISCHUTA, I...

I APOLOGIZE, YOUR
HONOR AND MISS STETLER,

I APOLOGIZE TO YOU,

BUT ISN'T IT TRUE FOR
YOUR PERSONAL LIFE,

YOUR PROFESSIONAL
LIFE, YOUR ENTIRE LIFE,

PEOPLE HAVE READILY
DISMISSED YOU SIMPLY

BECAUSE YOU ARE FAT?

THE FACT THAT EVERY ONE
DOES, IT DOES NOT EXCUSE IT.

NO, IT DOESN'T.

BUT IF IT'S A REALITY,

HOW CAN YOU BLAME MY
CLIENT FOR RECOGNIZING IT?

NOTHING FURTHER.

ARE YOU OKAY?

FINE.

IN HERE, SIT HERE.

I'M SORRY THAT I SHOULD
HAVE CUT THOSE QUESTIONS OFF.

YOU COULDN'T.

THE PEOPLE GET DISGUSTED
WHEN I LOOK AT ME,

IT'S COMPLETELY RELEVANT.

NOBODY GETS DISGUSTED.

I SEE IT, MICHAEL.

WITH ALL THIS FAITH, I THINK
THE ALMIGHTY COULD HAVE

AT LEAST GIVES ME THICKER SKIN.

NO MATTER HOW OFTEN
YOU HEAR IT, IT STILL HURTS.

COME ON, LYNN,

THAT WAS JUST A LAWYER
AND THEY'RE DOING WHAT

HE HAD TO DO TO WIN A
CASE AND YOU KNOW IT.

YEP. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?

HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO DO
HIS HOME WORK ON THIS ONE.

ALL HE HAD TO DO JUST SEE ME
RIGHT UP THERE ON THAT STAND.

HE KNEW INSTANTLY I WAS NEVER
INVITED TO MY HIGH SCHOOL PROMS.

YOU THINK HE NEEDED AN
INVESTIGATOR TO FIND OUT

I NEVER GOT ANY
MARRIAGE PROPOSALS?

WELL, AS FAR AS I KNOW,

MARRIAGE PROPOSALS ARE
NOT VERY GOOD YARDSTICKS

FOR MEASURING SELF-WORTH.

NICE THEORY.

YOU WANT TO KNOW THE REALITY?

WHEN MY FRIENDS
USED TO GO TO DANCES

AND CHEERLEADER PRACTICE,
I WENT TO THE LIBRARY.

AND I STUDIED AND I
STUDIED AND I STUDIED,

BECAUSE I WAS DAMN DETERMINED

I WAS GOING TO BE
THE BEST LAWYER

THAT ANYBODY COULD BE.

AND WHAT THE HELL DID HE GET ME?

FIRED FOR NOT LOOKING
LIKE A CHEERLEADER.

I DON'T WANT TO BE FAT DAMN IT.

IT SHOULDN'T HAVE MATTERED.

WHY IS IT I ALWAYS
HAVE TO BEAR IT?

STUART MARKOWITZ.

MM-MM.

BARRY BRAUNSTEIN
WITH JACOB EPSTEIN.

REASONABLE DOUBT
FOR REASONABLE FEET.

THAT SINKS DON'T IT?

SLOW IT FOR A CRIMINAL PRACTICE.

HERE, CHECK OUT
OUR FIRST INJURY LOGO.

I LIKE THAT.

MR. MARKOWITZ, DO YOU
KNOW EDITH LUNDSTRUM?

YEAH, WHY?

WELL, SHE CALLED US TO
HER HOUSE THIS MORNING

TO EXECUTE HER NEW
WILL AND I MEAN A MONSTER.

SHE WENT TO JACOB EPSTEIN?

THEY'VE EXECUTED OVER
400,000 WILLS NATIONWIDE.

NOW HOW MANY YOU'VE DONE?

WELL, I'M SURE YOUR
WORK IS EXCELLENT.

YOU BETTER HOPE SO.

THE WOMAN LEFT
EVERY CENT TO YOU.

WHAT?

30 MILLION FAT ONES
ALONG WITH THE HOUSE

TO STUB THAT BASIS.

IS THIS A GAG?

NO, GAG.

IT'S ALL LEFT TO YOU
WITH THE KNOWLEDGE

THAT YOU'LL DO THE
RIGHT THING WITH IT.

SEE?

I'M GOING TO GET
HER IN THE PHONE

AND CLEAR THIS UP RIGHT AWAY.

THAT'S GOING TO BE
DIFFICULT, MR. MARKOWITZ.

YOU SEE, MRS. LUNDSTRUM
STROKED OUT LATE THIS AFTERNOON.

THIS IS AN UNBELIEVABLE MESS.

THE CHILDREN ALREADY GOT
THEMSELVES A NEW ATTORNEY.

OH!

AND THE REVEREND'S
GOING TO BE NUT CAKES.

STUART, CAN WE TALK?

I LOVE TO TALK, ANN,

BUT I GOT A ROOM FULL
OF LAWYERS OUT THERE,

WAITING TO CHOP ME
UP IN LITTLE PIECES,

SO I GOT TO GO.

ANN, PLEASE WE'VE
BEEN OVER THIS ALREADY.

BUT, STUART, $30
MILLION, WE'D BE RICH.

WE'RE ALREADY RICH.

BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA

WHAT WE COULD DO WITH
THAT KIND OF MONEY, STUART?

I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT TO DO WITH IT.

I'M GOING TO GIVE
IT TO HER CHILDREN.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

THEY WOULDN'T KNOW
HOW TO HANDLE IT.

ANN, FOR THE LAST
TIME, IT'S NOT MY MONEY.

THE WILL SAYS IT IS.

FINE.

THEN IF I WANT TO TURN AROUND
AND GIVE IT TO HER CHILDREN,

THAT'S MY BUSINESS.

AHA, COMMUNITY PROPERTY,
BOB, IT'S MY BUSINESS TOO.

OH, COME ON.

STUART, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
KEEPING THE MONEY FOR US,

WE'LL START A CHARITABLE TRUST.

AND WE GO AGAIN.

DON'T YOU SEE WHAT AN
OPPORTUNITY THIS IS, STUART?

I CAN QUIT MASSING BILLABLE
HOURS IN MCKENZIE BRACKMAN

AND ACTUALLY CONCENTRATE
ON MAKING THE WORLD

A BETTER PLACE WITH A
LITTLE PRUDENT INVESTING.

STUART, HOW MANY PEOPLE GET
THE CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING GOOD,

SOMETHING MEANINGFUL?

THINK ABOUT IT, STUART.

I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.

THEN DON'T.

FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE STOP
CONTEMPLATING YOUR NAVEL

AND JUST TAKE THE MONEY, OKAY?

AND FOR ONCE IN YOUR
LIFE STOP PUSHING ME, OKAY?

AND HERE'S STUART
MARKOWITZ, OUR AIR APPARENT.

STUART, THIS IS BOB
SYLVIA, THE NEW ATTORNEY

FOR THE LUNDSTRUM
CHILDREN AND RICHARD BOGGS,

THE ATTORNEY FOR THE
REVEREND, BILLY BOB THOMAS.

I BROUGHT WITH ME
DOUGLAS BRACKMAN

WHO'LL BE SERVING AS MY ATTORNEY

AND THIS IS ANN KELSEY
AND SHE IS MY WIFE.

SPLENDID, GREAT.

NOW FOLKS YOU'VE ALL
GOT COPIES OF THE WILL

AND SINCE I ANTICIPATE A COUPLE
OF PROBLEMS AND PROBATE...

THIS IS NO WILL, ITS
GARBAGE AND YOU SIR,

ARE A BLATANT THIEF.

WHAT? HEY.

THIS IS UNDO INFLUENCE.

I TAKE EXCEPTION OF THAT, SIR.

STATE BAR IS TAKING
EXCEPTION TOO, I REPORTED YOU.

ON WHAT GROUNDS?

YOU GO TO THE HOME OF
AN AILING ELDERLY WOMAN.

YOU PERSONALLY TEAR
UP THE EXISTING WILL,

A WILL THAT LEFT YOU NOTHING

THEN SUDDENLY THERE'S A NEW
ONE LEAVING YOU EVERYTHING.

AND HOW DOES THAT CONCERN YOU?

THE WILL HE TORE UP LEFT
NOTHING TO THE CHILDREN,

IT ALL WENT TO MY CLIENT,
REVEREND BILLY BOB.

BRINGING ME TO SCAM NUMBER TWO.

NOW THAT'S OUT OF LIFE.

MR. SYLVIA? GENTLEMEN PLEASE.

LOOK, I AGREE WHAT
HE DID WAS DESPICABLE.

HE DID NOTHING DESPICABLE.

WHOA. WHOA. HOW ABOUT THIS?

I DON'T WANT THE MONEY,

JUST DECLARE THE WILL VOID
AND SPLIT IT UP ANYWAY YOU WANT.

STUART? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

THAT WILL IS VALID AND
I HAVE FIDUCIARY DUTY

TO GIVE IT FULL
FORCE AND EFFECT.

OH, FOR GOD SAKE.

JUST A SECOND HERE.

THIS DOCUMENT LEAVES
EVERYTHING TO STUART FOR I,

"HIS SOUND COUNSEL,
ADVICE AND FRIENDSHIP."

THAT'S RIGHT. MEANING?

PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE.

IF THIS MONEY WAS
LEFT TO MR. MARKOWITZ

AS COMPENSATION FOR COUNSEL
HE RENDERED IN HIS CAPACITY

AS A PARTNER OF
MCKENZIE BRACKMAN,

THIS MONEY BELONGS TO THE FIRM.

IT'S A THEORY.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FIRM,
IF THE MONEY GOES TO STUART,

MCKENZIE BRACKMAN
WILL BECOME THE EXECUTOR

OF THE $30 MILLION TRUST.

THIS PLACE WILL SEE PLENTY.

BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO
STUART, SHE DIED IN TEST STATE

AND IT'S GOING TO THE CHILDREN.

IT GOES TO BILLY BOB.

ALL WILL IS NO MATTER WHAT.

MR. BRAUNSTEIN IS
RIGHT, THE WILL IS BINDING.

YOU'RE HIS PARTNER AND
EXTENSION OF HIS CROOKED.

I HAPPEN TO BE A JUDGE, SIR.

MY HONESTY IS A GIVEN.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE
ON A SUPREME COURT.

YOU'RE NOT STEALING
OUR $30 MILLION.

GET OUT OF AND LEAVE THIS.

I DON'T WANT THE MONEY.

DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY.

I'LL WALK OUT ANY
PLACE I WANT TO WALK.

DON'T YOU DARE WALKOUT.

I'LL RAM AN INJUNCTION
RIGHT THROUGH YOUR KIDNEY.

OH, REALLY? YEAH, REALLY.

COME ON, COME ON.

ORDER.

ORDER. ORDER.

ORDER. ORDER.

HELLO, CHARLIE.

SO, VINCENT KEPT
CALLING ME LAST NIGHT,

WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS CASE.

I CAN'T.

GRACE, DAMN IT. COME ON.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I DID SOME CHECKING ON THIS GUY

AND HE'S DEFINITELY
NOT LEGITIMATE.

DON'T DO THIS TO ME, GRACE.

WHY DO YOU THINK I
BROUGHT YOU IN AS A PARTNER?

AS I RECALL, BECAUSE
AMONG OTHER THINGS

YOU THOUGHT I HAD INTEGRITY.

AND NO MATTER HOW
CHARMING THIS MAN IS,

I DON'T THINK THIS
IS THE KIND OF CASE

THAT'S IN OUR BEST INTEREST.

AND GENERATE HUNDREDS OF
THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN FEES

THAT'S DEFINITELY
IN OUR BEST INTEREST.

THE MAN IS A GANGSTER.

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

I WON'T DO IT.

FINE.

YOU CALL HIM AND TELL HIM.

I'M SURE HE'LL
NOT GOING TO DO IT.

FINE.

YOU DID ABSOLUTELY
THE RIGHT THING.

YOU DON'T THINK I'M BEING NAÏVE.

I MEAN, IF I'M GOING TO
BE IN PRIVATE PRACTICE,

I'VE TO BE READY TO
TAKE CASES I DON'T LIKE.

THIS IS NOT A CASE, GRACE.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
A DIRECTION HERE.

IF YOU BECOME A MOB LAWYER
THEN YOU'RE A MOB LAWYER.

WELL, I'M SEEING
HIM TOMORROW NIGHT

AND I WILL TELL HIM, NO.

AND I SUSPECT I WILL
BE WITHOUT A JOB.

WAIT, THERE ARE GOING
TO BE PLENTY OTHER JOBS.

YOU WANT TO COME
AND WORK FOR US?

AS A FULL PARTNER?

NO WAY, YOU'D BE UNDER ME.

OH, IT SOUNDS EVEN BETTER.

I GOT TO GET IN THERE.

GO GET HIM, COUNSELOR.

SEE YOU LATER.

CROOK? CROOK.

WHAT I'M SAYING IS FOR
AN ATTORNEY AT LAW

PERFORMANCE AND APPEARANCE
ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

HOW IS THAT?

WELL, A LAWYER HAS GOT
TO BE MORE THAN SOMEONE

WHO JUST INTERPRETS STATUES.

YOU GOT TO BE ABLE
TO CULTIVATE CLIENTS,

IMPRESSIVE MEETINGS,
WINE AND DINE COLLEAGUES.

WHEN SOMEBODY
COMES INTO THE OFFICE,

THEY WANT TO SEE A
CONSUMMATE INDIVIDUAL,

SOMEBODY WHO GIVES
THEM A SENSE OF CONFIDENCE.

AND MISS STETLER DIDN'T DO THIS?

SHE'S A VERY
CAPABLE PRACTITIONER

AND I DON'T MEAN TO
SUGGEST OTHERWISE.

BUT THE REALITY IS PEOPLE
LOOK AT HER AND SAY,

SEE, IF SHE CAN'T
TAKE CARE OF HERSELF,

HOW IS SHE GOING
TO TAKE CARE OF ME?

THEY THINK HER
PERSONAL APPEARANCE

IS A REFLECTION OF HER
PROFESSIONAL CONFIDENCE.

DO YOU THINK THAT'S
A FAIR ASSUMPTION?

IT'S TOTALLY UNFOUND.

IF I COULD DISSOLVE THAT
MINDSET WITH A WAVE OF MY HAND

AND KEEP HER ON,
I DO SO, BUT I CAN'T.

AND IF IT'S HURTING THE
FIRM I'VE GOT TO DEAL WITH IT.

THANK YOU, MR. LANGELLA.

NOTHING FURTHER.

SO YOU FIRED HER BECAUSE PEOPLE
COULDN'T ACCEPT A FAT LAWYER.

I'M THE MANAGING
PARTNER, COUNSELOR.

I'VE GOT TO BE COGNIZANT
OF PUBLIC PERCEPTION.

RIGHT, SO, I GUESS THEN THAT IF

THE PUBLIC DIDN'T
WANT A BLACK ATTORNEY

YOU WOULD HIRE AND FIRE
ON THE BASIS OF RACE, RIGHT?

WRONG.

I'D NEVER ENDORSE
THAT KIND OF PREJUDICE.

OH, SO YOU DO
ENDORSE THE PREJUDICE

AGAINST FAT PEOPLE.

THIS IS DIFFERENT.

WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY
DEFINES PREJUDICES

AS A PRECONCEIVED OPINION
LACKING ADJUSTS FOUNDATION.

NOW ISN'T THAT EXACTLY
HOW YOU JUST DESCRIBED

THE PUBLIC'S ATTITUDE
TOWARD THE OVERWEIGHT?

YES, BUT IN THIS CASE...

SO BY FIRING HER, YOU
IN YOUR OWN WORDS,

ENDORSE THAT BIGOTRY DIDN'T YOU?

I NEVER SAID I AGREED WITH
THE PREJUDICE MR. KUZAK,

BUT I'VE GOT A LAW FIRM TO RUN

AND I'VE GOT TO RECOGNIZE
THAT IT'S OUT THERE.

VERY GOOD, MR. LANGELLA.

YOU RECOGNIZED IT.

YOU ACTED UPON IT, AND BY
SO DOING YOU PERPETUATED.

OBJECTION. GENTLEMEN.

DON'T BLAME ME
FOR PUBLIC OPINION.

I BLAME YOU MORE.

THE PUBLIC'S OPINION IS BASED
ON IGNORANCE. YOU KNOW HER.

YOU KNOW SHE'S A GOOD ATTORNEY

AND THAT YOU FIRED
HER ANYWAY DIDN'T YOU?

HE'S BEATING UP THE WITNESS.

HE DESERVES TO GET
BEAT UP. MR. KUZAK.

TELL US MR. LANGELLA,
HOW FIRING MY CLIENT

FAILED TO PROMOTE THAT
BIGOTRY THAT YOU RECOGNIZE?

NOTHING FURTHER.

LYNN, I JUST DON'T
THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

IT'S NOTHING AGAINST YOU,
MICHAEL, YOU'VE BEEN FANTASTIC.

I JUST THOUGHT IF I
REPRESENT MYSELF

DURING THE CLOSING ARGUMENT,

I HAVE A BETTER CHANCE
OF CONVINCING THE JURY

THAT I BELONG IN A COURTROOM.

AND I ALSO THOUGHT

WHAT BETTER WAY
TO CONVINCE MYSELF.

BUT THIS WHOLE TRIAL IS GOING
TO TURN ON THE SUMMATIONS.

YOU'VE NEVER DONE THIS
BEFORE AND I HESITATE...

AND WHAT BETTER
PLACE FOR ME TO START?

I FIGURE I WOULD BE
GRATEFUL FOR FLAT ON MY FACE.

EITHER WAY I WIN.

FILE MY APPEARANCE AND
NOTIFY THE OPPOSING COUNSEL.

I'M AN ATTORNEY AND I'M
GOING TO REPRESENT MYSELF.

ALL RIGHT.

IT'S YOUR TRIAL.

LET'S GET STARTED.

WHERE IS EVERYONE?

MICHAEL'S IN COURT AND
VICTOR HAS GOT A DEPOSITION.

WHERE IS JONATHAN?

I DON'T KNOW BUT
I'M NOT WAITING.

STUART, REGARDING
THE DISPOSITION

OF THE LUNDSTRUM ESTATE,

A SECOND MEETING
OF THE ATTORNEYS

HAS BEEN SCHEDULED
FOR THIS AFTERNOON.

OH, GOD, NOT AGAIN.

EACH LAWYER WILL
PRESENT A PROPOSAL

AND WE'LL REVIEW EACH...

WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO, STUART?

I DON'T KNOW, ANN.

JONATHAN'S ON TV AGAIN.

WHAT?

OH, NO.

NO, NO, GINA, I'M NOT KIDDING
THAT'S THE WAY THEY ARE.

IT SOUNDS AS IF
THEY'RE INCOMPETENT.

NO, NOT INCOMPETENT
JUST AMUSING.

WE'VE GOT ONE PARTNER,
AND I WON'T MENTION NAMES.

IT'S BRACKMAN, WHO
KEEPS HAVING AFFAIRS.

HE EVEN SLEPT WITH
HIS FEMALE BAILIFF

WHEN HE WAS HIS
LAW CLAIMS JUDGE.

OH, GOD. OH, GOD.

BECKER BEDS DOWN
WITH 90% OF HIS CLIENTS.

SON OF BITCH. HE'S FIRED.

PARTNERS SLEEPING
WITH EACH OTHER.

COME ON.

THEY ARE MARRIED. I
HEARD IT WAS A SHOTGUN.

THAT BASTARD. KILL HIM.

WHAT REALLY GETS ME IS THAT
NONE OF THEM, NONE OF THEM

CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN A LIVE BROADCAST
AND A VIDEOTAPE GET HECK.

GOT YOU.

WHAT?

I KNOW I GOT YOU.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

DID GET YOU? DIDN'T I?

THANKS FOR THE HELP, ROXY.

COME ON, DOUGLAS,

LET'S GET STARTED.

IF THE DEFENDANT'S
THEORY IS TRUE,

IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT I SAY HERE

BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE INSTANTLY
CONCLUDED THE FIRST MOMENT

THAT YOU SAW ME THAT I WAS

LESS EQUAL BY MERE
VIRTUE OF MY WEIGHT.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO THAT NOTION,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
YOU'RE WRONG.

AND IF THE WHOLE WORLD
AGREES WITH YOU THEN DAMN IT,

THE WHOLE WORLD IS WRONG

BECAUSE PREJUDICE CANNOT BE
VALIDATED BY UNANIMOUS CONSENT,

IT CAN ONLY BE MADE
MORE DANGEROUS.

I DO NOT, EXCEPT THE
DEFENDANTS PREMISE,

THAT A PERSON'S PHYSIQUE

IS A CRITERIA FOR
RESPECT OR FRIENDSHIP.

AND I DO NOT ACCEPT
THEIR ASSERTION

THAT PEOPLE REGARD
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

AS AN INDICATION OF
INTELLECTUAL ABILITY

AND I MOST CERTAINLY DO
NOT ACCEPT THEIR ASSUMPTION

THAT THIS JURY WILL
FORGIVE THOSE THAT DO.

THE EVIDENCE BEFORE
YOU IS UNCONTROVERTED.

I AM AN ABLE, CONFIDENT ATTORNEY

WHO WAS FIRED FROM HER JOB

BECAUSE OF THEIR BELIEF

THAT THE WORLD HATES FAT PEOPLE.

THAT'S DISCRIMINATION.

AND LIKE IT OR NOT,

YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY
FIND FOR THE DEFENDANT

UNLESS YOU'RE PREPARED
RIGHT NOW TO CONDONE IT

AND EVEN IF YOU ARE,
DON'T THINK FOR ONE SECOND

THIS BIGOTRY HAS PREVAILED

BECAUSE THE NEXT TIME I AM
CONFRONTED BY THIS PREJUDICE

AND THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME,

I'LL BE BACK

AND I'LL COME BACK,
AGAIN AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN

AND SOONER OR LATER,
I'LL COME ACROSS A JURY

WHO WILL NOT
TOLERATE THIS BLINDNESS.

I HOPE THAT TIME IS NOW

BUT IF IT'S NOT, THE
FIGHT'S NOT OVER.

I PROMISE.

THIS FAT LADY AIN'T SINGING YET.

LET'S TAKE A MINUTE TO REVIEW
THE DIFFERENT PROPOSALS...

I DON'T NEED A
MINUTE, THEY ALL STINK

AND THIS REVEREND
IS AS CROOKED AS THE...

LOOK, HE SHOULD
BE GETTING IT ALL

THAT WAS A TESTAMENTARY INTENT.

OH, NO YOU DON'T.

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
WHAT YOU THINK

THAT TESTAMENTARY INTENT
WAS THIS WILL IS NOT VALID.

DON'T START THAT AGAIN.

WE DRAFTED THAT DOCUMENT
AND I CAN CATEGORICALLY SAY...

YOU ARE A NATIONAL CHAIN
OF ROADSIDE SLEAZE PITS.

WHAT KIND OF LAW
FIRM HAS A JINGLE?

ALL RIGHT EVERYBODY BE QUIET.

AND YOU, YOU ARE THE REASON.

I'D APPRECIATE IT, SIR, IF I
MIGHT BE ALLOWED TO SPEAK.

THANK YOU.

FIRST OF ALL, YOU CAN
FILE THOSE PROPOSALS.

THEY'RE MEANING LESS.

THE WILL IS VALID, THE
MONEY IS RIGHTFULLY MINE

AND HERE'S WHAT I'M
GOING TO DO WITH IT.

THE THREE LAWYERS PRESENT
WILL EACH RECEIVE $8,000

FOR LEGAL SERVICES RENDERED,
MORE THAN THEY DESERVE

FOR THEIR EMBARRASSING CONDUCT.

THE CHILDREN, PETER AND GAIL,
WILL EACH RECEIVE $3MILLION.

TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.

EXTREMELY
ACCEPTABLE, MR. SYLVIA,

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU WHY.

IF YOU PROVE UNDUE INFLUENCE,

YOU NOT ONLY NEGATE HER
FREE INTENT TO MAKE A NEW WILL,

YOU ELIMINATE HER CAPACITY
TO REVOKE THE OLD ONE.

AND SINCE CALIFORNIA
COURTS LOW THAN TESTACY,

YOUR CLIENTS GET NOTHING

AND ALL THE MONEY
GOES TO BILLY BOB.

HERE, HERE.

AS FOR THE GOOD REVEREND,

I'M GIVING $3
MILLION IN HIS NAME

TO THE CYSTIC
FIBROSIS ASSOCIATION.

IS THAT IT? AND NOTHING TO HIM?

YEAH.

HE GETS THE CREDIT

AND IF HE'S LUCKY OF
BUILDING THEM AFTER ALL.

IT'S NOT ENOUGH. I'LL FIGHT IT.

NO, YOU WON'T.

BECAUSE AN EXAMINATION OF
MRS. LUNDSTRUM'S TRUE INTENT

WILL REVEAL THAT HER
DESIRE WAS NOT SO MUCH

TO BENEFIT THE REVEREND,

BUT RATHER THE
CHARITABLE ENDEAVORS

HE BOASTED ABOUT ON TV.

AND SINCE CLOSER SCRUTINY
OF THOSE ENDEAVORS

REVEAL ENTERPRISES
THAT FAILED TO MEET

THE IRS DEFINITION OF CHARITY,

WILL VITIATE A BIG
PART OF THAT BILL

IN THE GROUNDS OF FRAUD.

THAT'S BASELESS.

IT'S NOT BASELESS.

AND SINCE EXPOSURE THAT
INVESTIGATION MIGHT END UP

WITH BILLY BOB BEING
INTERVIEWED ON NIGHTLINE,

I SUSPECT YOU'LL BE QUIET.

FINALLY, MISS KELSEY,

OF THE REMAINING $21 MILLION,

HALF GOES TO THE GREATER

LOS ANGELES AID
FOR THE HOMELESS,

THE OTHER HALF TO THE CALIFORNIA
ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION FOUNDATION.

AND WHILE YOU MAY
MISS OUT ON BEING

THE GREAT WHITE ADMINISTRATOR,

YOU CAN TAKE SOME
CONSOLATION IN KNOWING

THAT WORTHY CAUSES
ARE BEING SERVED.

ONE LAST THING,

IF ANY OF YOU DO
CHOOSE TO LITIGATE,

REMEMBER, IT ALL COMES DOWN
TO THE ISSUE OF UNDUE INFLUENCE

WHICH MEANS IS MY
WORD AGAINST YOURS

AND THEY'RE GOING TO
BELIEVE ME, I PROMISE.

BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE
HERE NOT ACTING OUT OF GREED,

AVARICIOUS OR SOME
SORT OF SELF-PROMOTION.

I'M THE ONE GIVING IT ALL AWAY

AND THAT MAKES ME A
THOUSAND TIMES MORE CREDIBLE

THAN ALL OF YOU STACKED
UP ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.

AND FINALLY, IF ANY OF YOU
DO CHALLENGE ME ON THIS,

ALL THE MONEY GOES
TO THE TWO CHARITIES.

THE CHILDREN, THE REVEREND,
THE LAWYERS GET NOTHING.

MEETING'S OVER.

MR. MARKOWITZ?

YEAH.

ALTHOUGH I STAND HERE
IN COMPLETE IGNORANCE

AS TO WHAT THIS WORLD
OR LIFE HAS IN STORE FOR ME,

I THINK I CAN STILL
SAFELY PREDICT

THAT NO MATTER WHAT
I DO OR HOW LONG I LIVE,

I WILL NEVER BE MORE
PROUD OF ANY SINGLE THING

THAT I HAVE MY
HUSBAND AT THIS MOMENT.

AND I JUST WANT YOU TO
KNOW THAT I ADMIRE YOU

MORE THAN I CAN EVER EXPRESS.

AND I LOVE YOU EVEN
MORE THAN THAT.

MR. FOREMAN, HAS THE
JURY REACHED ITS VERDICT?

YES, YOUR HONOR.

WHAT SAY YOU?

WE, THE JURY, FIND IN
FAVOR OF THE PLAINTIVE

AND ALL OTHER
DEFENDANT TO PAY DAMAGES

IN THE AMOUNT OF $210,000.

YOU DID IT.

OH, MY GOD.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

OH, THANK YOU, MICHAEL.

YOU LOOK LOVELY.

THANK YOU. NONE FOR ME.

PLEASE.

TO US.

THERE IS NO US, MR. VINCENT.

CHARLES TOLD ME YOU
ARE LITTLE RELUCTANT.

MY MIND IS MADE UP.

I'VE ALWAYS FOUND IT BEST
TO POSTPONE FINAL JUDGMENT

UNTIL I HAVE ALL THE FACTS.

I HAVE ALL THE
FACTS I NEED AND...

I DON'T THINK YOU DO.

FOR INSTANCE, I
DON'T THINK YOU KNOW

WHO PAID FOR THAT FANCY
OFFICE YOU'RE SITTING.

I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHO
OWNS THE BUILDING MISS VAN OWEN,

OR WHO OWNS THE FIRM

FOR TO A LESSER
EXTENT WHO OWNS YOU.

YOU MAY OWN THE FIRM MR.VINCENT,

BUT I GUARANTEE YOU,
YOU DON'T OWN ME.

YOU LISTEN, YOU'RE
GOING TO GO INTO COURT

AND YOU'RE GOING TO SUBSTITUTE
IN AS COUNSEL FOR TOMMY.

THEN YOU'RE GOING TO
GET A NICE CONTINUANCE,

A COURTESY THE JUDGE
WILL BE ONLY TOO HAPPY

TO EXTEND TO A POPULAR XDA.

THEN, IF YOU WANT,

I'LL GET SOMEONE ELSE
TO SUBSTITUTE IN FOR YOU.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

NO.

I NEED TIME, MISS VAN OWEN.

IT'S JUST COME TO MY ATTENTION

THAT THE STATE'S KEY WITNESS
MAY SUFFER A SERIOUS DECLINE

IN HEALTH IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS.

IT SOMETIMES HAPPENS TO
PEOPLE WHO DISAPPOINT ME.

MY ANSWER IS NOT CHANGING.

SOME MISTAKES ARE VERY HARD
TO LIVE WITH, MISS VAN OWEN.

I SERIOUSLY SUGGEST YOU
RETHINK YOUR POSITION.

SHE'S STILL DRINKING
THE CHAMPAGNE.