Kyle XY (2006–2009): Season 1, Episode 5 - This Is Not a Test - full transcript

Kyle: Previously on Kyle XY:

Nicole: The boy has no family,
he doesn't communicate,

and he was found
wandering alone.

He has to have come
from somewhere.

Someone has to
be missing him.

Kyle may be connected
to a murder.

Nicole: It's possible
he witnessed the attack,

or stumbled on the skeleton.

Stephen: Do they
have any suspects?

No, not yet.

He said the killer would



probably have
scratches on him.

Lori: Hilary, get off of him.

I told you to leave him alone.

Do you really think
I'm such a super-skeeze?

Hilary: You two totally
did it, didn't you?

Poor Declan, I never should
have told him to ask you out.

- Kyle: Amanda.
- Boy: There you are.

Kyle, this is Charlie.
My boyfriend.

Hey, how you
doing, man?

High school can be
very difficult, even

for the most
well-adjusted students.

Hooper: If this
boy is special,

it may not be the easiest
of transitions for him.

Lori, Josh, we have to go.



Hold on.

Yo, Dad, keep it
in your pants.

- What was that for?
- Little preview.

Oh, well. OK, we ready?
Where's Kyle?

Here.

At least someone's excited.

First day of school.
Everybody should be.

Yippee.

This isn't Kyle's "first"
first day of school.

No, that's true.
He just doesn't

remember the other ones.

I meant he must've gone to
school on his home planet.

See you.

Kyle: I'd gotten used
to spending most

of my time at home
with the Tragers.

But this was a
whole new world.

Mom, no escort.

What kind of mother
would I be if

I let you die of
embarrassment?

- I'll count to ten.
- Make it 20.

- Bye, Mom. See you later.
- Have a great day.

- Proximity, Josh.
- I'm sorry, do I know you?

Don't worry, Kyle. I won't
leave till you're settled.

Kyle: Everywhere I looked,
I saw people connecting.

At first, I thought people
gathered by how they dressed.

But bonds were acknowledged
in more subtle ways too.

Attitude, skin color, gender.

There didn't seem to
be any one way to

figure out how these
groups were formed.

I had to wonder,

would I find anyone
like me in this place?

Hilary! Wait up!

- What's up, Trager?
- Hey.

I got to catch her.

Hills! Did you see that?

Hello, awkward. Not as awkward
as the actual sex, but...

Hey, check it out.

News flash,

that shirt doesn't
go with skank.

Guess we're still fighting.

Yo, this is it.

First period's McNally.

You got Schultz?

Dude, she's remedial.

Go ahead, bust your
ass in McNally.

I'll sleep through Schultz
and still get an A.

All right. Well, we'll
catch you at lunch?

- Absolutely.
- All right.

Hey, if you bozos
need any help

reading the menu,
let me know.

Good morning, Mr. Hooper.

Mrs. Trager.
This must be Kyle.

I'm Mr. Hooper, the
vice principal.

Hello.

These kids and
their handshakes.

Can we have a moment?

Sure. Kyle, I'll
be right back.

Kyle: I noticed
that everyone knew

exactly how to respond
to the sound.

They knew just where to go
and who to be with.

I knew if I'd ever
been at school before,

I'd know these things too.

But nothing felt
familiar here.

This place was different...

and so was I.

School is supposed to provide
one-on-one instruction.

I thought you understood
Kyle's needs.

Mrs. Trager, I strive to meet
the needs of every student.

And given Kyle's
situation, a

personal tutor is
probably best.

But that is a costly
arrangement, and

I have some
additional concerns.

He spent time in a
detention center.

That was an
improper placement.

Where he engaged
in an altercation.

Another resident punched him.
Kyle never hit back.

He is currently involved
in a homicide investigation.

As a possible witness.
He still

can't remember anything.

And I am afraid
that his memory

issues may become
problematic.

Mr. Hooper, Kyle is
an exceptionally

bright boy who is
eager to learn.

I think this school
would be lucky to have him.

We have five hours
of testing ahead

of us. We should
get started.

I've already tested Kyle.
His IQ is phenomenal.

Mrs. Trager, aptitude and IQ
are not the same thing.

And since we do
not have any

former school
records for Kyle,

I can't even consider
a personal tutor

until we determine
his grade level.

What kind of tests are
we talking about?

Well, assuming he's around 16,

I'll administer the standard
tenth grade placement exams

and we shall see how he does.

He's a great kid.

And he's so happy to be here.

I hope your
instruments haven't

gathered too much
dust over the summer,

but my guess is,
this is the first time

most of them have been
out of their cases since June.

The good news is we got
some very talented musicians

joining the band this year.

We finally have a French horn.
We're gonna start our brass...

Kyle, there you are.

I have to leave now, but Mr.
Hooper

is going to give
you some tests.

Tests?

To see what you've
learned and what

the school still
needs to teach you.

He loves math.
That's a good place to start.

Thank you.
I'll take it from here.

OK, so you have
your money for

lunch and I think
you're all set.

- Thanks.
- You're going to do fine.

- Bye.
- Bye.

All right, Kyle,
let's get started.

OK!

Fire up those brains
and check this out, people.

Solve it by the end
of the semester,

you get an automatic
A in my class.

A professor at MIT
presented this problem.

It took his students six weeks
to crack it.

Sort of like a mathematical
Mount Everest if you will.

Trager comma Lori.

Discussing the
Jacobi algorithm?

What?

Didn't think so.

Conduct your personal business
on your own time.

And as for wasting mine,

I'll see you after school.

"It was a cold, damp morning.

The mist clung to the ground
like a silver cloak."

Continue with the
next paragraph...

Toby.

Pass.

I'm afraid I don't
offer that option.

"Grandfather's
hat was still...

in the gravel...

path...

near the ger-geraniums."

That's enough.

Toby, continue.

From where we left off.

"Near the geraniums
he hadn't finished planting.

Rich earth was piled
next to a hole he'd prepared,

like a mound of dirt
beside a fresh grave."

- This is not Math.
- We'll start with History.

Ninety minutes for
that portion.

I'll check on you then.

Kyle: Page after
page of names and

dates, all of
them unfamiliar.

1492.

1812.

George Washington.

Marie Antoinette.

I hadn't been taught
anything yet, but

I was expected to
complete a test.

I thought I was here to ask
questions, not answer them.

Kyle: That bell again.

It rang at precise intervals,

moving students at
a regular pace.

At least this time,
I knew what to do.

Kyle: Time to find
a place again.

In a morning filled
with confusion,

here was something
that spoke to me clearly.

Finally, a test I could pass.

Someone solved it.

Kyle: I'd learned to follow
the ebb and flow of students,

but this time, instead of
scattering in every direction,

they all moved to
the same place.

Hi.

It seemed everyone
was welcome here.

And I thought I might
find a place to belong.

Oh, I wouldn't sit there.

Unless you want to be known
as "Geek-man's" friend.

It's what
everyone calls me

because my last
name's Deichman.

People might also think
you're "Dyke-man's" friend,

which would make
you a lesbian.

Whatever, do what you want.

- I can't see?
- This is a joke. Right?

Someone told you to sit here.

Very funny.

- No. I draw too.
- Shut up.

- You do?
- See where Kyle's sitting?

If you need five
bucks for lunch...

He's sitting with L.K.
Deichman.

- And?
- That's social suicide.

You're supposed to
look out for him.

So are you. Let him sit with
your punk-ass little posse.

So Lori got like ten shades of
pissy and called me a slut,

after her freakazoid foster
brother was groping me.

Like I'd ever go there.

You've been
salivating over him

since he messed
with that cop.

Well, not anymore.
Look at him.

He's friends
with Geek-man.

Want to hear something funny?

Nadine Velasquez last period?
Same shirt.

Laugh riot.
You call her a slut too?

Come on, Hills. Truce?
I'm so over fighting.

For reals?

Because I'm so over you.

Girls, coming?

You guys, come on.

You should've taken
off the shirt.

He doesn't look like an alien.

I'm telling you,
the stuff I've seen him do.

- I've got a whole file.
- Right.

So instead of
taking over the

world, he's here
in high school.

It's part of his master plan.

To recruit an army of losers
like L.K. Deichman.

Speaking of losers,
how was Schultz this morning?

I'm the king of that class.

Bunch of morons
who can't read.

Man, that's pathetic.

That's the thing about comics.

The mainstream stuff,
it's pretty cheesy.

"Anime."

It's just a fancy
word for cartoons.

I like the indie press stuff.

Comics like Diesel Dan,
Tarsus, Vera Zero.

Why do they have
secret identities?

To hide their
amazing abilities.

So they can help people
without freaking them out.

This is basic stuff.
How can you not know this?

I don't know. But what
about George Washington?

- Yeah. How about him?
- Is he a superhero too?

He's the first president ever
of America.

And Hathor, is she
on another test?

Superheroes aren't real.
What's wrong with you?

Seriously, I know it's
your first day and all.

- Don't you know anything?
- That's why I came here.

To learn.

You came to high school.
To learn.

That's a good one.

OK, look, maybe
I can help you.

- You get the sushi?
- Got the sushi.

I can't believe we
have an hour alone.

Oh, an hour is
barely enough time.

Yeah, we'll make
the most of it.

Are you close?

- I'm around the corner, baby.
- I'll be waiting.

Stephen: Nicole?

Hang on. I just
heard something.

Hello?

Stephen, I think
someone's breaking in.

Get out! Now! Just go!

I'll try to make this as quick
and painless as possible.

Nicole: My husband
is really worried about me.

Nicole.

Stephen, I was just
going to call you.

This is Tom from our
security company.

Hello.

- What's going on?
- Well, I was on patrol

and saw someone
break in your window.

Tom scared him off.

- Does, that belong to anyone?
- No.

I'm sure he dropped it.

Probably used the handle
to break the glass.

Any idea who
it might be?

No, I didn't
get a good look,

but there's been
break-ins lately.

I've called in the incident.
I'll

make sure the
police are aware.

- You OK?
- I am now.

I'm sorry I scared you.

- As long as you're OK.
- Yeah.

You just happened
to be driving by?

Yeah. Lucky thing.

Now if I can just
finish up this

report, I'll get out
of your way. OK?

- Sure.
- This room is what?

Oh, it's a guestroom.

Oh.

Pardon me, but our
records indicate

that, all your bedrooms
are upstairs. No?

Well, we have a temporary
foster care situation.

Oh, I see. I see.

Well, that's nice of you folks
to take someone in.

How's that working out?

Fine.

What happens if he comes back?

I'll drive by more often
and keep an eye on the house.

- Well, we'd appreciate that.
- It's my job.

- Thank you.
- Bye.

Gosh! Sorry.

- Sure you are.
- I hope I didn't ruin it.

Anything you wanna know,
this is the place to find it.

Like the Fortress of Solitude.

More like a good place to nap.

Might as well start with this.

It's like... everything.

Boiled down.

- Thank you.
- No problem.

OK.

Look, I guess I'll...
I'll see you around.

- Kyle?
- Amanda.

How's it going?

Oh! You
remember Charlie.

Yeah, we met at
Preston's party.

Yes. I remember.

A little, light reading?

Listen, I know it's
your first day

and I remember when I moved,
it took getting used to.

So if you need anything,
just give me a shout.

Well... OK.

Bye, Kyle.
We'll see you later.

Big talker.

He can be shy, but
he's really sweet.

I could be wrong, but I think
he's got a problem with me.

Hey. Who could ever
have a problem with you?

I'm telling you, she was
triple-X hot. Totally into me.

You're such a liar.
As if you

were anywhere near
that hot tub.

All true, man. Our stock
is going way up this year.

- Dude, what was that about?
- I don't know.

I think I insulted him.

Well, un-insult him.

That's Toby Neuwirth. He's got
major anger management issues.

No kidding.

- Still on hold?
- Yeah.

Probably nothing,
but I haven't

seen him on
patrol before

and he shows up just in time?

Have you heard of
any break-ins?

- No.
- Mr. Trager?

Sorry to keep you
waiting, sir.

Yes, Tom is a new
employee here. Tom

Foss. He just
started this week.

It's just that we
didn't know him.

I assume you do
background checks?

Absolutely. In fact,

Tom has a very impressive
military background.

Decorated veteran.
Several years in security.

So nothing to worry about.

- Sounds good. Thank you.
- No problem.

He checked out fine.

These suburban types,
I'm telling you.

Must be something
about paying a

mortgage makes
them all jumpy.

Meanwhile they got a guy like
you looking out for them.

Shoot. They couldn't
be in better hands.

Kyle: Twenty-two volumes.

Over 17 thousand articles.

In one afternoon, I'd
covered the span

of human history and
circled the globe.

I thought you'd still be here.

Kyle, Charlie's a
really great guy.

I think you'd really like him.

Because I think you're
a great guy too.

But you know...

You know there's
nothing between...

I mean, he thought there
might be but I just...

I wanted to make sure that...

You don't like me, do you?

Kyle: I just
learned of every

human tragedy, war
and disaster.

But Amanda presented
the most difficult lesson.

I could tell which answer
would relieve her.

And which she didn't
want to hear.

Kyle?

You're my friend.

Yeah.

We're friends.

Kyle: Telling Amanda
my true feelings

might have brought
us closer.

But she belonged with Charlie.

Which meant
I still belonged... nowhere.

Kyle, wait.

You don't have to learn
everything in one day.

School's over for today.

Two more seconds.

Now it's over.

Well, so much for
our afternoon rendezvous.

So, you'll call the
insurance company?

Yeah, the glass
company, too.

No, hold on.

No, I can hang a window
over the weekend.

Oh.

Thanks for coming
to my rescue.

You're welcome.

Don't get that.

Hello?

Yes.

I'm sorry, what?

Oh. I'll be right there.

That was the school.

- Trouble?
- Yeah.

- Which kid?
- Kyle.

Yeah, it's going to
be a great game.

Hey, I'll check
you guys later.

Peace.

- What's up with you today?
- I'm late for detention.

If you wanna talk about
what happened...

- What happened?
- Yeah, you know.

You want to talk now?

- I figured that you could...
- It wasn't some game, Declan.

"You catch that sex
we had last weekend?"

"Yeah, that was
awesome, nice offense."

I don't know Hilary told you
to ask me to the party.

Like you guys
didn't yuk it up at lunch.

You got it all wrong.
I was just checking up on you.

If you wanted to check up on
me, you would have called.

You didn't, which is fine.
It's honest.

But this sudden interest
in my feelings or whatever,

it's fake and unnecessary.

The sex was awful, you could
give a crap about my feelings,

and you are the
absolute last person

that I want to
talk to right now.

I was asking about
what happened today.

With Hilary.

Hey.

Hey, man.

You're in Schultz
with me, right?

Little wiseass.

I don't know why
you've got a problem.

I don't. You got a problem.

You're right. I do.
And I'll go take care of that.

You think you're smart?

Dude, I'm in remedial.

With a bunch of morons then?

Stop.

- Why'd you hit him?
- Who's this? Your boyfriend?

Let's go.

You know, you really
are an idiot.

Hooper: What's happening here?

The other student insists
Kyle threw the first punch.

- I didn't hit anyone.
- That is not how it appeared.

Mr. Hooper, all we saw
was Kyle holding that boy.

He was stopping him,
not pushing him.

Are you looking
to discredit him?

Mrs. Trager, that altercation,

plus Kyle's
complete disregard

for school rules,
his wandering,

the tests he simply ignored.

I'm sorry, but there's
just no place

for a boy like Kyle
in this school.

Trager comma Lori.

Have a seat.

One plus two minus one
until you reach 500.

Legibly.

- How is this possible?
- Someone answered it?

Yeah.

You know I put
it up every year

just to motivate
you kids.

Hardly anyone attempts it,
let alone answers it.

Well, congratulations.

Someone must know
a mathematician.

Or have searched
the Internet.

No student here could possibly
solve this on his own.

Mr. Miller, if I could point
you in the right direction,

can we forget about detention?

He's entitled to a
one-on-one tutor.

Not after today's performance.

- That's him.
- I'm in a conference.

Excuse me, this is important.

Did you solve
my math problem?

Kyle?

- Yes, I did.
- OK. How'd you do it?

The Fourier series?

You used Bessel functions?

Kronecker delta?

I just looked
at it and I knew.

Please, tell me
what's going on.

This student just solved a
grad school level math problem

and he can't tell me how.

This young man is not a
student at this school.

Well, he has to be.
I have to work with him.

He didn't answer
a single question.

Kyle, why didn't you?

- I didn't know the answers.
- You see?

But I do now.

Let him take the test.

Testing must be completed
in a five-hour

period for the
scores to be valid.

There's 30 minutes left.

Just give him the test.

So how'd your day go?

- Awesome.
- I want to transfer.

Hey, what happened?

I'll be outside.

Yeah, practice was crazy.

Coach is going nuts.
He was all over me though.

- I'll see you guys later.
- Peace, man.

Look, I know I was
super harsh before.

- I thought...
- I know what you thought.

Look, this whole day sucked,
so it wasn't about you, OK?

It was a little about me.

Yeah. Well, it was
mostly bad timing.

Declan, we're going for
coffee. Come with?

No, I'm good.

You didn't have to do that.

Wanted to.

- I should apologize.
- Yes, you should.

But you don't have to.
Look, I screw up all the time.

Maybe it's your turn.

Sounds fair.

You OK?

I'll live.

Hey, Trager? Define "awful".

I'll see you tomorrow.

Done.

Done? With which section?

All of them.

- That's not possible.
- Totally is.

- Good going, Kyle.
- Now hold on here.

I still have to grade them.

I think that's just a
formality, Mr. Hooper.

So when can he start
with his tutor?

Well, if... if his
scores measure up,

first thing tomorrow morning.

Nice job, Kyle.

I'll see you soon.

I don't want a tutor.

Well, but Kyle, I thought
you wanted to go to school.

I do. But not like that.

Now explain this to me.

That whole private tutor
was such a sweet deal,

but you want to go to class
with the rest of us?

- If I don't, I'll be alone.
- You'll be lucky.

No vicious backstabbers
to deal with.

And those are her friends.

It's not like you
need to go to school.

- You already know everything.
- Facts, maybe some dates.

If I'm stuck with a
tutor I'll never

learn what I really
need to know.

Why do people do what they do?

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Thanks for helping me today.
- No worries.

- That's him.
- The kid that took on Toby.

People are looking.

- So?
- It's weird.

I think weird is good.

I saw what you did.

Ka-blow! Swoosh!

Bam!

- You know, vanquished.
- "Ka-blow"?

I know I said superheroes
aren't real, but...

Keep it.

Kyle: I still don't
know if I'd ever

been to school
before that day.

And I wish I could've
learned something,

anything, that would've
helped me remember my past.

Still, every day
I spent here

became a part of
my own history.

And if I wanted
to learn people,

I knew that part of that meant
learning from my own choices.

And making new
choices tomorrow.

He said he read
the entire encyclopedia.

He probably flipped through
and jogged his memory.

And then got a perfect score?

How could he know that much?