Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Enter the Dragon Master - full transcript

[MUSIC]

[THUD]

[YOUNG PANDA LAUGHS]

[MUSIC]

NARRATOR: The Dragon Warrior...
No, wait.

The Dragon Master
faces an epic test to his master status!

Pirates!

They've stolen the sacred Golden Peach!

Wa-tcha!

Huzzah! It is I,
the Dragon Master!

- Wait, what?
- No, I am the real Dragon Master!



[SCREAMING]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

We can't all be Po! [CRASHING]

- Yeah, we can! Woo-hoo!
- Seriously?

Guys, stop this!

Guys! You're ruining the story!

I was Po first. And there can
only be one Po at a time, okay?

That's just science.

[BAO SCREAMING]

[WHIMPERS]

Kick him in the tenders!

Grr!

[ALL SCREAMING]

Come on, guys! Master Po will
be in the village any minute!



We're running out of time
to find the... [GASPS]

rare Bing Lunghua Orchid.

[GASPS]
Oh! We found one!

When Po shows up for the
Peach Blossom Banquet,

I'm gonna give it to him.

In the old times, when a
Kung Fu student pledged their

commitment to Kung Fu, they
present a gift to a master.

Hey, ding-dongs! It looks like
the shindig's about to kick off.

We're never gonna make it down in time.

[CART CREAKS]
FAN TONG: Um...

Hmm.

Are we, uh...
Are we sure this is safe?

Nope!

[SCREAMS IN EXCITEMENT]

[ALL SCREAMING]
[MUSIC]

I can't look. I can't look.
I can't look...

I just looked.
I shouldn't have looked!

[SCREAMING IN EXCITEMENT]

LI: Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the annual
Peach Blossom Festival.

[BORED CHEER]

We are honored that the
Dragon Master Po... [GIGGLES]

my son...

is coming here to bless our
village's beloved Peach Statue.

He has a very busy blessing schedule,
so this is huge for our town.

Did I mention he's my son?

- And he's the Dragon Master!
- Woah!

Can we wrap this up?
[LAUGHS]

And he'll be here in our quiet,
sleepy, peaceful...

[DISTANT SCREAMING]

[GASPS]
[MUSIC]

[RUMBLING]

Giant peach! Coming through!
Everybody out of the way!

Watch out! Get out...

Turn! Put your butts into it!

[SCREAMING IN SLOW-MO PITCH]

We gotta jump!

The Peach!

[EXHALING]

[ALL GASP]

[GASPS]
[MUSIC]

[GASPS] Woah!
What the heck happened here?

[PANDAS CRYING]

I can't see!

Master Po.
I wish to become your student.

Hold that thought. Nobody panic!

The Dragon Master is in the house!

I won't let anything
happen to those dumplings!

I have a feeling
we're in deep...

[RINGING BELL]

- They always do this!
- Oh, no!

They don't fit in!

Oh! Wait,
help me lift this off! Oh!

PO: Folks. Folks.
Hey. You can't...

Everybody's mad at us. Even
Master Po thinks we're screw-ups.

You think all that angry yelling
is about us?

[SIGHS] Yeah, Bao.
I think it's about us.

Wow! That was some festival!

It was a total rager, huh?
[LAUGHS]

- Thanks for reminding us, Grandma.
- Aw, come on!

I'm just having a little fun
at your expense. [GLASS BREAKS]

[KISSES]

Time for shut-eye, kiddos.
[KISSES]

I know it hasn't been easy for you
two since your parents have been gone.

And everybody in town
sounds really mad at you. [SIGHS]

I imagine you're less popular
now than ever.

Gosh, I'd hate
to be you right now. Oof!

Not your best pep talk, Grandma.

The good news?
Everything is temporary.

Folks forget things pretty quickly.
[BLOWS]

'Night, kiddos.
[YAWNS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

We gotta do something to show
everyone how sorry we are.

I got this. I'm gonna go down
there and charm everybody.

Turn on that patented Bao charisma.

Maybe pop my vest off.
Give 'em a little panda eye candy.

Can you be serious
for, like, one second?

We really messed up this time.
We almost blew up the whole town.

But, hey! On the bright side,
everybody's talking about us.

Huh? Huh? Am I right?
Yaw! [THUD]

Wait. What if we went down and brought
the Peach Statue back up to the village?

- How?
- I don't know. Roll it?

We've gotta do something to show
everyone how sorry we are.

- Right?
- [LOUD GROAN] Fine!

[MUSIC]

So how're we gettin' this bad boy
all the way back to the village?

Great question.

And the answer is a little
something called teamwork.

Because if we work together,
there's nothing we can't do.

[SCOFFS] Except for maybe pushing
a giant stone peach up a hill.

Okay. On three.
One, two...

Wait.
Is it "one, two, three, push"?

Or is it "one, two, push"?

Yep.
I had the same question, chief.

And should we warm up? You know, like,
get a good stretch in before we...

- One, two, three, push! Okay?!
- [NERVOUSLY] Uh-huh.

All right, let's do this!

One...
two, three, push!

[ALL STRAINING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[THUDS]
[GRUNTS]

[ALL PANTING]

[PANTING]

Nu Hai, look!

Yo, check out this place.
So baller-iffic.

This place feels a little haunted.

BAO: Dude, this place looks
like a tomb!

Oh! I can't wait to see
all those dead bodies.

NU HAI: What do you think
these statues are?

"The Temple
of the Four Constellations."

"Blue Dragon...
Red Phoenix...

White Tiger... Black Tortoise."

NU HAI: Okay, until we know what
this is, nobody touch anything.

[LAUGHS]
Like what? Like this?

- You're so annoying.
- Can I rub my butt on it? Huh?

Does that count as touching?
A little butt rubbin'?

Oh no, I can't control my butt.
[ALL GASP]

Whoops!

[MUSIC]

Holy underpants!

[SQUEALS]

[MUSIC]

- Huh?
- Huh?

[SCREAMING]

What the heck was that?

Yeah, what the heck was that?

Those lights, and the statues...

And was there, like, creepy
singing going on, or was that

- just in my head?
- Yeah, those lights, and...

Fan Tong! Buddy...
it would be super helpful if I was

- the only one freaking out right now.
- Yeah. Guys,

something supernatural
definitely happened in that cave.

Something scary.

We're gonna be famous, y'all!
[LAUGHS]

[LIGHT HUMMING]

Uh, Nu Hai?
You're... glowing.

[GASPS] Huh?

[GASPING IN EXCITEMENT]

[LAUGHING]

Hey. Hey!

Oh. My hand's glowing too.
Whoopee.

- What's going on?
- How should I know?

[DOOR OPENS]
[ALL GASP]

- I heard screaming.
- It's all good, Grandma.

Yep. Nothing to see here,
old-timer. Keep it moving.

[CHI HUMS]

Love ya.

It's dark. I'm old.
My hips hate me. Go to sleep.

[SIGH AND GASP]

You two don't even live here!
Go to your home!

I have failed you, Jade Tusk.

Four Panda children found the
temple before us and...

I am sorry!

I am not the one who requires
the apology.

Where are they now?

JADE TUSK: In Panda Village.

Jade Tusk...

remove this one from my sight.
Permanently!

No...
No, no, Master, please! No!

Please allow me to correct
her grievous mistake.

Surely the children must know
how to get back into the Temple.

Then perhaps you
should ask them yourself.

And do ask nicely.
[MUSIC]

Why are you kiddos so interested
in the Four Constellations?

It's a... long story.

Here we are.

"One thousand years ago...

the Four Constellations...

Blue Dragon, Black Tortoise,
White Tiger, and Red Phoenix...

learned of a grave threat
to a sacred wellspring...

Some say it was the source
of all chi in the universe.

And a Dark Master had designs
on harnessing that chi."

[EVIL CHUCKLE]
[MUSIC]

But even with the Dark Master gone...

the Four Constellations
knew all that chi...

was too tempting for those
with evil ambitions...

So they hid the wellspring in
the last place anyone would look...

in the hopes four worthy
Kung Fu masters...

would answer the call to greatness."

Of course, nobody even knows if
any of that actually happened. Hmm?

Kiddos...
Kiddos?

[ALL CHATTERING]

NU HAI: Chi powers! And then
there was this eye circle thing-y.

[SLURPS]
Hey, hey, hey!

Let's all just calm down
and tell me what's up.

Enough jibber-jabber.
Let's cut to the chase.

You gotta teach us
Kung Fu, bubba.

Master Po, the universe
totally chose us

to be these, like, supernatural
Kung Fu masters.

And, okay, yeah. Out loud
that sounds really weird.

There was an ancient temple in a
cave by the bottom of the elevator.

- It was real.
- BAO: Master Po...

I know they may not look
like much...

but surely you can
see the potential in me.

- Oh, you gotta teach us.
- [FULL MOUTH] Listen,

I used to have all kinds of fun
with my imagination when I was a kid.

[GULPS] Yeah.
I got so lonely as a kid...

true story, my best friend
was a radish I drew a face on.

Don't tell anybody.

Please, Master Po.
We need you to teach us.

Uh... Look, guys, I'd love to.

But I kinda got a lot on my plate.

I mean, like, literally. I need
to eat this while it's still hot.

Hey, I'm sorry, kids.

I was only here to bless
the Peach Statue, and...

[LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY]

I get it! 'Cause food goes on plates!
[LAUGHS]

I gotta go.

- Got a lot of Dragon Master responsibilities to get to...
- Wait! Master Po, no!

Wait, we don't need your
autograph. We need your help.

You know what? Okay.
Should I sign something for you?

You know what, just send me a postcard.

Quick! Look over there!

[CLAMORING]
[THUD]

Dried salty plums.

[PO GRUNTS]

[MUSIC]

Master Oogway? But you're...

Wait a minute.
Is this the Spirit Realm?

Am I dead? Again?

Aw, jeez, I didn't even hit my
head that hard!

So unfair!

- You are not dead, Po.
- I'm not?

I brought you here because
I needed to speak to you.

The universe has chosen you
to teach these children.

I seriously doubt that.

You haven't seen these kids.
They're hopeless.

[CHUCKLES]

Sound like anyone we know? Hmm?

You mean, me?
Oh, no. No, this is different.

They're just so undisciplined.
I mean...

They don't know the first thing
about Kung Fu.

Have you forgotten how
hopeless and undisciplined

and devoid of any knowledge or
talent you were when we found you?

Yeah, but I had you
and Shifu teaching me.

I'm nowhere near as great
as you guys are.

Exactly. You are
something so much better.

You are as great as you.
Whether you like it or not,

teaching these children
seems to be your destiny.

Without your guidance and
experience, those children are doomed.

Wait. What?

Master Oogway? Master?

[RHYTMIC KNOCKING]

Ready?

This better be good. I was
having a really fun nightmare.

Yeah! Why are we out here
in the middle of the night?

This is our last chance
to convince Master Po

to teach us Kung Fu
before he leaves tomorrow.

[ALL GASP]

[ALL WHIMPER]

NU HAI: Yo, snaggletooth!
Soon as these goons let me go,

I'm gonna pop you right in the mouth.

Little girl, simply open
the cave, and you may go.

Even if I knew how to, I wouldn't.
You wanna know why... ? [GASPS]

[NERVOUSLY] Wow.
That's a... heck of a weapon.

We'd prefer not to hurt you.
But we will.

We really don't know
how to open it!

[PO SCREAMING]

- Huh?
- Huh?

[MUSIC]

Unhand those kids.
Right now.

And step away slowly...
[YELPS]

Master Po, why didn't you
just take the elevator?

Oh... Yeah. I guess
that would've been easier?

- Huh?
- Get him.

[MUSIC]

Master Po needs our help!

There is no way that's true.

- NU HAI: Yeaa!
- Ow. Ow.

[LAUGHING]

Come on, let's go!

[WAR CRY]
[GASPS]

Huh?

[SCREAMING IN ANGER]

[SCREAMING IN FEAR]

Oh, no! Oh, no!

[GRUNTS] Hey!

[GASPS]

[NU HAI SCREAMS]
[GASPS]

Yeaa!

[STRUGGLING]

[FAN TONG GASPS]

You kids need to get out of here!

We're not leaving you!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

I'll be fine.

I'm the Dragon Ma...
[GRUNTS]

[DING]
[ALL GASP]

JADE TUSK: Disappointing.
I expected so much more

from the one claiming
to be the Dragon Master.

Secure the panda.
He's coming with us.

NU HAI: Let him go!

Huh?

[MUSIC]

Dude!

Aw, man!
How come I'm the Turtle?

[ALL LAUGHING]

- BAO: Yeah!
- Hey!

So, I guess I...

need to teach you some Kung Fu.

ALL: Yeah! Woo-hoo!