Kongen befaler (2019–…): Season 8, Episode 10 - Imponerende snurrebass - full transcript
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"Impressive spinning top"
We are already
underway on the finale of
Kongen Befaler from
the Drammen Theatre,
and we enter the scene
just as Atle Antonsen
is about to unveil
the season's prize:
A bust in gold of him.
- A bust in gold of me!
And the people who didn't
get any sleep last night,
because of butterflies
in their stomachs,
are our wonderful participants:
Stian Blipp!
Tuva Billing!
Tete Lidbom!
Christian Skolmen!
And Marte Stokstad!
Stian, you have 7 points
to catch up on Tete.
We'll take a look at the
scores on the board now.
No!
That's 7 points.
But it's close!
It's Tete at the top,
and then it's,
you could say, a 'close race'.
But Tuva.
- Yes.
It's not over.
It's not over yet!
It isn't?
No, everything is still possible.
If you win all the tasks tonight...
...and Tete gets
disqualified in all of them,
...then you are tied!
There is a chance.
Of course there is a chance!
Then I still have hope. Yes.
Yes, should we get started?
Let's get started!
And here comes the last
prize task of the season.
It's a very appropriate
task for the finale,
if I do say so myself.
They must bring something that is
suitable for ending [finishing] something.
Yes, this task is
placed very strategically.
What will...
Who will get to present what?
Who will get to
finish/end it first?
I think I'll start with…
I like big presents. Marte.
Can I just say something first?
- Absolutely.
I have a feeling that you'll
forget the person who starts.
No no. It would take a
lot to forget that thing.
It overshadows all the others.
Thank you, Atle.
I have...
I have brought a classic finisher,
which I use to end/finish
things several times a day.
Several times a day?
- Absolutely.
Are you ready?
- We are ready.
Yes, feel free to clap. Okay.
There's something about
building up the anticipation.
Literally. Ready, set...
Several times a day?
- Several times a day.
The kids are going to Poland.
[it's common to sell toilet paper to
fund school trips to Auschwitz]
Why do you have so much?
[it's common to sell toilet paper to
fund school trips to Auschwitz]
I repeat, the kids are going to Poland.
- Yes, right.
So this has a double meaning.
Not only should this be the last
thing you do when you leave the bowl.
So this is...?
- This is what I'm left with.
It's the end of project Poland.
I have brought what I had left.
So you didn't sell all the
toilet rolls you had to sell?
Yes, I will now.
Now you will, yes.
At least get rid of it.
So you've kept so much instead of selling?
[indicating that she has funded
the trip with her own money]
We have sent kids to Poland before
without having sold a single one.
So we have our own toilet room.
Or toilet paper room.
You have your own toilet room?
People call it "bathroom",
but we insist on "toilet room".
That's posh.
That's very posh.
You live in Asker [posh neighbourhood
outside of Oslo] with your own toilet.
I don't think it's the fact that you're
first up that makes him forget the task.
No.
- Oh no...
It was just a thought I had.
- It's episode 10, Olli.
A classic finisher there.
Lovely! Tuva.
I have brought something
that can end several things.
It can end a friendship,
it can end a date,
and it can also end a marriage,
because this is
grounds for divorce,
and that is…
socks and sandals.
And I know that you
completely agree with me, Atle,
because I have
been in contact with
your good friend Johan Golden
[comedian, Atle's radio co-host],
and your son, Kasper,
to get hold of a picture of you
with socks in your sandals.
That cannot be found.
Your son writes:
"Hi. I think on principle he
would never think of wearing that."
"I think he would use
the words 'too urban',"
"'daft', and 'I'm not
that kind of guy'."
"I don't know what he does in
the bedroom, but out here..."
You have obviously asked
an additional question too,
which wasn't just about
socks and sandals.
Yes, but we don't need
to include that here.
"But out here he only
has his feet in the sandals."
I must remember to tell Kasper
that he managed that well.
So here we completely agree.
We completely agree.
Absolutely!
But there's a person down there,
isn't there?
- Yes, yes.
That's fun.
Yes, it looks like a
person is lying there.
Can it move?
- Please move your toes, person.
Yes, look at that!
- It's alive, yes!
Oh, I thought that was your shoes!
- No, my god!
I don't have four feet!
I forgot about the others!
I thought they were Tete's!
- It won't stop!
There's a foot
model lying there.
Yes, I brought a foot
model for the occasion.
That's good!
Stian.
Yes.
One thing that might be good
to have as a tool to end something,
if you have people visiting who
don't want to fucking leave, is...
once you've tried,
"Now it's getting late..."
When you've tried
all those tricks...
"I've got to get to
work early tomorrow."
...and people stay put,
I have found,
after a lot trial and error,
something that works,
and that is scented
candles that smell like crap.
"Swamp ass".
That's fun.
Let's have a little smell
of the classic "Swamp Ass".
We can take a bit of this.
It's nice to know that
there's a market for everything.
Yes, this is from the well-known
producer The Candle Daddy.
Oh fuck!
I'm really looking
forward to this.
Now we can just...
Scented candles are
pretty bad in the first place.
Just let it wander a bit.
It's coming.
I think I have to come over and smell.
- What do you think?
There is a stench
that hits later.
Oh fuck!
Fucking hell!
Yes.
You need to get close to it.
I can't.
- Are you sure?
No, I can't!
I'm curious about
where to use it.
That's what you should...
I'll close it.
Don't you want to
smell a bit of "Shart", too?
"Shart" is when
you think it's a fart,
but then you shit your pants.
That's what it really is.
We can save that
for another time.
Probably a huge
difference from the other!
That's what you should
use in the bathroom.
Everything exists.
- Yes, everything exists.
That's nice to know.
Very good.
Christian.
Yes.
I have brought something
that can also end most things.
And I thought a bit of you, Olli.
Since this is
something you like.
Yes.
And that's tap shoes.
- Yes, I like that.
It's easy to think that these
are only for entertainment,
but they can also be used
for proper things,
like ending something.
I'm no tap dancer.
That's a disadvantage, surely.
What did you say?
- That might put you at a disadvantage.
No, because this isn't
about how you tap dance,
but that tap dancing in itself
indicates an end to something.
It could be anything.
Like a show, for example.
"Thank you all for coming.
You have been a great audience."
"Thanks for having me."
[courtesy phrase used when
leaving/ending something]
Or...
Or like Marte,
after a visit to the toilet:
"Oh, that was wonderful to get out.
Thanks for having me."
Or...
It can be used on most things.
You know this, Olli,
since you tap dance.
It can be used on most things.
Also more serious things.
For example, to end a
relationship or a marriage.
After an argument:
"We never agree on anything."
"I love you, but we should just end it.
Thanks for having me."
That was good!
That was good.
It adds a surprising amount.
I know.
- It lifts the mood.
- And it's so simple.
Tete.
Yes, I have been very clear.
I knew immediately
what to bring.
It might be a bit 'dark',
but that will have to do.
It's pretty easy to
understand... these.
So, a knitted sweater,
for example.
You could finish
knitting a sweater.
You could check if the
pound cake is ready...
Stick it in and check.
Did you think of something else?
- No no no no!
I was just thinking of
a socket in the wall.
Right? I've tried that too.
It went well.
Wall-to-wall carpet.
I survived.
And, somewhat in
the same genre as you,
you can end with a...
Yes, you need that now.
I need it now.
Well done!
Creative.
There are five options.
Good or bad,
that's up to you.
Yes, a lot of it was good.
I haven't forgotten
those tap shoes.
I haven't. But I am...
I think I...
It's a little more effort
than we're used to seeing.
So I think you get 1 point,
Marte, for your classic finisher.
I'm sorry to say,
but that's what it is.
1 point for you, Marte.
Sucks to go first.
Sucks to go first.
Tete...
That got a bit too dark.
Knitted sweaters?
Pound cakes?
Pound cakes are dark.
But you get 2 points.
- Two is fine, that.
Christian, you get 3.
Yes, you do.
I think it's...
Yes, they're nice,
those sandals.
You will get 4.
And you actually win with
those scented candles!
Good!
5 points to Stian.
Olli, I don't think everything we do
here necessarily needs to have depth.
Don't you agree? Sometimes it's
good enough just to have a laugh.
Just do something superficial.
We don't have to
strive for the depth
we have in everything
we do here all the time.
No, we certainly have
something like that.
Yes, that's what I mean.
We have that.
We have things
that appeal to those
who like the simplest
form of humour.
And having said that, Atle,
if I say the word 'spinning top',
what do you think of?
[euphemism for penis]
Yes, then...
Then of course I think of a toy,
and only a toy, which is balancing on
a tip while it's spinning around.
Yes, okay.
But are there no other definitions?
Not when you're older than nine.
Right, then it's just a toy.
Got it.
Okay. Spin the top.
A little spinning top.
Oi, sponge cake!
I'll put on my glasses.
No, it was a spinning top!
"Present..."
I can't say this!
"Present the
largest spinning top."
"You have 30 minutes."
"The top must spin for a minimum
of five seconds to be approved."
Then I have to do
it for 10 seconds.
I have to imagine it.
What?
- The spinning top.
I have my glasses...
Small print?
- It looks like morse code.
"You get five minutes
deducted from your time"
"for every spinning top
[penis] joke you make."
It's lucky that I read that!
What is your relationship
with spinning tops?
I don't know.
It's been a few years since
I've had a spinning top.
I could easily have
made something else.
Oh yes?
But I understand that
it's this you're after.
Was that a joke?
- That was a joke.
Yes, Olli.
Here you are already counting
jokes before we have started.
Yes, Tuva got one straight away.
Here it was important
to stay focused,
to keep up with all
the 'spinning top' jokes
being fired in my direction.
It was written in the task letter,
as we can see here, in tiny print:
"You get five minutes
deducted from your time"
"for every spinning
top joke you make."
Yes, which some of these
participants didn't see.
Specifically Stian,
Tete, and Tuva.
Let's have a look.
We have to go out to the shed.
I don't think there are many
spinning tops to be found here.
Joke number two?
- Joke number two.
Oi!
This is perfect
spinning material.
Yes!
You choose a spinning
top with lots of balls?
Yes, that makes sense.
How?
Spinning top [penis].
Balls.
That spins.
Now I'll make the top.
Then we'll have the spinning top.
Oi, a wink?
Another joke?
You have to blink
when you say "spinning top".
Was that another joke?
- Yes. Oh no!
The jokes are coming
on a conveyor belt.
Too bad I won't be doing
stand-up in 30 minutes.
Good lord...
Are you sweaty?
No, are you?
- Yes!
Why?
I'm fiddling with
my spinning top.
"Excuse me, sir?
Can you help me screw my 'spinning top'?"
This is a chair ['stol'].
Don't trust ['stol'] the spinning top.
What relationship do you think
the others have to spinning tops?
Two of them have one,
and the other two
might want one.
How much time do I have left?
You have spent 7, 35...
47 minutes.
Of course I haven't
spent 47 minutes.
You have spent 12 minutes
and 30 seconds on the clock,
plus five, ten...
Yes, 35.
So that makes 47.
Because I said "spinning tops"?
No!
"You get five minutes
deducted from your time"
"for every spinning
top joke you make."?
You made a lot of good ones.
I've counted seven.
You're keeping track
of the time, right?
Absolutely.
The time ran out
5.5 minutes ago.
I haven't spent 30 minutes!
You have spent 16 minutes
and 40 seconds.
Yes, so it hasn't run out yet?
It has, seven minutes ago.
How much time have I spent now?
You have spent 29.5 minutes.
You have half a minute left.
What?
I haven't been standing
here for half an hour.
No, you have been
standing here for 4:32.
You have 20 seconds left.
No!
Your time's up.
What does it say down there?
"You get five minutes
deducted from your time"
"for every spinning
top joke you make."
I haven't done anything else!
No!
Just a little higher up and
this would be spinning for ages!
Don't say another word.
Goodbye!
Yes.
Yes, it is very rare that a task is
solved so evenly by three participants.
All three have not impressed by
presenting the largest spinning top.
All three have not
impressed with their jokes.
And all three have not impressed with
paying attention to the task text.
It was the first time I
managed to make Olli laugh,
so I got carried away.
"He likes this.
He likes this very much!"
A cynical game from
this bastard here.
Yes.
It looks hard not
to joke about it.
You get joy out of
the simple things.
I understand you.
Especially when
you get a few laughs.
I thought, "Now I've hit Olli's
Achilles heel. He loves this."
The more, the better.
You all spent too much time.
You had 30 minutes in total.
Basically, they share the last place.
- Yes, they do.
But Tuva spent four
and a half minutes...
...making 10 spinning top jokes.
I had no time to relax.
You could barely breathe!
- I walked straight into the trap.
You would have to make jokes
both while inhaling and exhaling.
When you said,
"I haven't done anything else",
that was true.
We have two more.
We can take a look
at Christian and Marte.
Watch the lamp.
I think we should...
Let's try it here.
A little towards me.
If you let go, it's easier for me
to know how out of control it is.
Ok, then I'll let go.
- Yes.
It was close, at least.
How much time do I have left?
You have 10 minutes left.
10 minutes?
I imagine that this will
be spinning slowly around.
You can film it from down there.
And the two of us can sit there.
That's a nice image.
Shall we see...
Towards me.
Then we'll start spinning.
Okay.
Yes...
Yes?
- That's good.
One, two, three, four...
Yes. That was over five seconds.
Bye.
- Bye.
Yes, Christian,
you read the fine print.
Yes.
- And you thought big.
Thank you.
- And you tried.
And you failed!
- Yes.
Yes, because it didn't spin long
enough to be called 'a spinning top'.
No, not if you play
at normal speed.
Then it's not long enough.
No.
- I figured someone could...
So you haven't
completed the task either,
and end up in last place,
together with the others,
but you get a very solid 1 point.
Thank you.
You'll get that. 1 point, 1 point,
1 point, solid 1 point.
That can be good to bring
with you further in the game.
And of course it's a victory for Marte,
who comes in from the wing!
So it's 1, 1, 1, 1,
and 5 for Marte.
Look at that!
Then we can see that in total today,
the standings are...
Oi, straight up in a
collective lead there.
3, 4, 5, 6, 6.
It can't get much
closer than that.
Is it time for a
little ad break?
Atle, what are the two things
that you like best in this world?
Well...
That has to be
cakes and doorways.
Cakes and doorways?
Right, okay.
Hi, Olli.
- Hi.
A cake?
A cake.
A sponge cake, even.
Yes, yes, yes, nothing is better
in the heat than a little cream.
"Bring this sponge cake through as many
doorways as possible within 10 minutes."
"If the cake is brought through
the same doorway twice,"
"the task is over."
Oi. "Your time starts now."
Oi! Doorway... Oi.
How the hell am I
supposed to do that?
You should hurry.
It's...
Is it hubris?
Is it an overreaction?
"What the hell?
A cake through a door?"
"That's impossible!"
"What kind of task is this?
Can it be done?"
I had completely run
out of brain capacity.
"How the hell is it possible
to take something in twice?"
You did well with the reaction.
Can we see how it went?
Absolutely.
We can take a look at the task.
It is very straight forward.
Walk through as many doorways
as possible with the cake,
but never the same
doorway twice.
I think we'll start with...
Everyone?
- Everyone! I'd love that!
Can I just take it like this?
Okay.
Then I can only go
through each doorway once.
This boy is fit, you know.
One.
One.
Two.
Can I go through the same door,
just not twice in a row?
It's in the letter.
This is fun.
I don't know the
house very well.
And then I just have to think.
Three...
Four...
Five.
There.
And there.
Like that.
And now you can't get back in?
No, I can't, since I can't go
through the same doorway twice.
One doorway.
So flexible!
Out here.
I'll go take a
look at the letter.
What does it say?
"If the cake is brought through the same
doorway twice, the task is over."
Eight.
Nine.
Ten.
God, I've never been here before.
11.
Now I don't know
what will be up here.
Finally, I get some use out of
my experience as a server.
There.
Now only this boy needs
to get over the edge.
Here. One.
Are you going in there?
- Of course.
Perfect. 11.
- 11.
12.
- 12.
I have to stop...
I can't get...
I can't go out there again now?
No.
13?
- Yes.
Bye bye, cake.
That is also a door.
- Yes, but I just...
I can't go out here again.
- And that's locked?
Is the task over, then?
There.
My work here is done.
Then I'll end here.
Yes!
- Two more doors.
Then we'll have some cake.
Bon appetit.
Stian, you were really good
at going through doorways!
You could go there all day!
I went around like a whirlwind.
- Lots and lots of doorways!
Did you see the smile too?
- Yes, what a confidence!
And what a fall
at the end there.
If it hadn't been for that letter,
you could have stayed there all day.
I would've still been there.
Beautiful. It was beautiful.
But the second it dawned on you
is some of the
best TV you can get.
I liked that.
Tuva, impressive.
Thinking outside the box.
Outside the garden too.
But it wasn't really necessary.
You just ended up with 13.
Only 13 doorways.
And the lucky number 13
is the same as Marte's.
And you never left the house,
so that's good.
You had eight fewer
than Tete and Christian.
You both got 21.
And Stian, you went
through doorways 33 times.
Yes, but 24 of them were the same,
so you end up with nine.
A clear last place.
1 point for Stian.
3 points for Tuva and Marte,
and 5 points for Tete and Christian.
Yes, now it's coming to an end,
and what do you say, Olli?
Shall we end the season
with a real show?
Yes, a real show?
- A real show!
Yes, I could always
squeeze in some agility
and some elements of dressage,
and robotic lawn mowers.
I have that in stock.
- That's a real show!
Are there other shows?
- What?
There are no other shows!
- No.
Oi.
A robotic lawn mower.
I have a feeling that this
will be something awful.
"Get Fido the robotic lawn mower"
"to perform an
impressive agility show."
I don't even know what that is.
"The show starts in 30 minutes."
"Olli is looking forward
to breakneck stunts,"
"unsurpassed obedience,
and wonderful teamwork."
Wow! That's fun!
Now I regret not going to all those
agility show I've been invited to.
Then I would have
known what this is.
Yes, stunts, obedience, teamwork,
and a robotic lawn mower.
It can't get any better than that.
- It can't get any better than that!
A real show! Yes!
It will be a show.
Here comes...
Marte, would
you like to go first?
Alone?
No, we can add Christian.
This will be a show.
I'll start with the tenderloin
of agility, the plank.
No! I see now that
its wheels are too wide!
Yay!
Here we have a barrier.
Now it can't get out there,
so it has to go up the ramp.
I could find a stick.
That one.
Here, Fido.
Yes, my boy!
Yes!
Come on! Come on!
Don't go! Don't go!
Turn around.
Come on now.
No, no.
Good, Fido.
Stop, Fido.
Spin around.
Fido, stop!
No.
Good, Fido.
Now it's the finale.
There you go!
Come on!
Come on!
Faceplanting.
Talk about... breakneck stunts!
Now it's time for a film, Olli.
An advertisement film.
Christian, get in!
I'm glad you liked it, Atle.
Stick!
- That was for you, Atle.
- Wig! Show!
It wasn't that strenuous, was it?
It looks so easy, but it's...
It looks easy, and it
might be because you said
what it had to do
immediately after it had done it.
Just as it turned, "Turn!"
That's the trick.
What do you think
of Marte, then?
Marte?
- Don't bother.
I think it was better
than Christian.
That's something.
Yes, that's actually something.
You are a dog person,
aren't you?
Absolutely, I love agility.
- You do?
We didn't see any trace of that.
- No.
Shall we see the rest?
- Shall we see the rest? Oi, what timing!
The weapon is in place.
We have... a siren.
And, ladies and gentlemen,
of course we
have a lot of action,
in the form of explosives.
Fido starts here,
waves to the judges,
and off we go.
Passes the ball under the slide.
New ball.
In here. Working.
Through the sausage.
And then calmly
backs into place.
Bows.
And the crowd goes wild.
Start the show!
Come here, Fido!
Come here.
No, no, no.
Come here, Fido.
There you go.
No, now I have no control.
Fido! Come on!
First it will go through here,
up here,
tear that down,
bump into that,
the ball goes into the goal.
Yes, yes, yes!
Turn!
Come on. Come on.
No, no, no.
One more time.
Come on. Fido, here!
So it will come here,
position itself,
down the last tube,
push, push, push,
and then at the very end...
the finish line.
Okay.
Improvising.
There, Fido. Go!
Yes!
Wonderful!
Very good!
Okay.
Are you going back there?
Well...
Come on, Fido.
We have practiced this!
Here, here, here!
Look here. Here, here.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
A little more this way.
A little more to the left.
Come on!
No, no, no, don't back up!
Don't back up!
Fuck!
Look!
It passes every single one...
Go!
Fire in the hole!
This is action! Wow!
Go inside!
Good boy!
Good boy, good boy.
There you go.
Oi, now you're going fast, Fido.
Yes! Good!
Get the ball!
There you go!
Brilliant!
Show!
- Brilliant, Tuva. Show!
You said "brilliant".
Was it really?
If that's your definition of "brilliant",
I understand why you're in last place.
You saw how difficult it was.
It looked difficult.
- Yes, it was really difficult.
So this was brilliant considering
what it could achieve,
and how the dog and I
communicated with each other.
You also contributed
to making it look difficult,
but I enjoyed watching it.
Tete, you had high ambitions here.
I'll give you that.
The ambitions were high,
but I need a break
after watching…
This is one of the most
tiring things I've ever seen.
It is pretty irritating.
How many points would
you have given yourself?
If I'm looking with...
You have someone
to compare yourself to.
Then it would be 5, yes.
Do you have any thoughts?
There were a lot of
different solutions here.
Yes, I have a lot of thoughts.
We already know that you
won't get a full pot, Christian.
Even though I personally like it,
it's too narrow.
I had a feeling about that.
It was art, but it was too narrow.
So you get 1 point.
Marte gets 2.
Tuva, you get 3 points.
Then it's between
Stian and Tete.
It's 4 for you, Stian,
and 5 for you, Tete.
Now it's time for the very
last task of the season.
We know where
that will take place.
It will take place here on stage.
On your marks!
Yes, there is a 'finale'
atmosphere in the air.
Now everything will be decided.
And what better way to decide
than to have trolls in a box?
Yes, you will now compete
in 'trolls in a box'. Kind of.
You have a pair of headphones that
you will put on soon, so no-one can cheat.
The competition is about
being the second-to-last person
who jumps out from your own box.
If you are second-to-last,
you get 5 points,
but if you are last,
you get zero points.
You have to jump
out by standing up.
You must then stretch your arms
out to the sides and say, "Ta-da!"
Now you can put
on your headphones,
so you won't hear anything.
They must be on properly.
Okay, then we'll start.
The task-
Right, they can't hear any of this.
The task is underway.
Yes yes yes.
Ta-da! Fuck!
Ta-da!
Ta-da!
Ta-da!
Are you serious? What?
Ta-da! No!
Yes, then we know
who got zero points,
but we'll still sum
it up down there.
We'll do that.
Good job.
Olli, give us a final summary
of the points in this task.
I can tell you what
just happened.
Marte, you were last.
That means zero points.
It couldn't be helped.
No, but it was fun.
Seeing you come out
at the end like, "Ta-da!".
That was fun.
Then it was Stian.
Yes, great.
2 points for you.
Tete, 3 points.
Christian, almost great, 4 points.
And Tuva, 5 points!
Congratulations.
This task...
Shall we see here.
Now we'll see who walks away
with the victory in today's programme.
It is...
Tete and Tuva together!
That's fantastic!
You win lots of things that are
suitable for ending something.
Congratulations on that.
But now, the only thing remaining
is to see who runs away with
the overall victory.
Olli, drum roll.
Okay.
The overall winner
of the season is...
Let's see who
runs away with it...
It's Tete Lidbom!
Tete Lidbom!
Congratulations!
You have made both me, the nation,
and not least Trøndelag, proud!
Finally you will get to
enjoy the companionship
of this bust for
the rest of your life.
Olli, we have an extra
surprise for you at home.
Yes, we'll be back
in a few weeks
with a Christmas special
featuring former contestants.
That's right.
See you again before you know it.
Thank you and goodbye!
Original Norwegian subs by:
Monica Mikkelsen (LinQ Media Group)
English translation by:
u/msbtvxq
Proofread by:
u/taskmastermaster
---
"Impressive spinning top"
We are already
underway on the finale of
Kongen Befaler from
the Drammen Theatre,
and we enter the scene
just as Atle Antonsen
is about to unveil
the season's prize:
A bust in gold of him.
- A bust in gold of me!
And the people who didn't
get any sleep last night,
because of butterflies
in their stomachs,
are our wonderful participants:
Stian Blipp!
Tuva Billing!
Tete Lidbom!
Christian Skolmen!
And Marte Stokstad!
Stian, you have 7 points
to catch up on Tete.
We'll take a look at the
scores on the board now.
No!
That's 7 points.
But it's close!
It's Tete at the top,
and then it's,
you could say, a 'close race'.
But Tuva.
- Yes.
It's not over.
It's not over yet!
It isn't?
No, everything is still possible.
If you win all the tasks tonight...
...and Tete gets
disqualified in all of them,
...then you are tied!
There is a chance.
Of course there is a chance!
Then I still have hope. Yes.
Yes, should we get started?
Let's get started!
And here comes the last
prize task of the season.
It's a very appropriate
task for the finale,
if I do say so myself.
They must bring something that is
suitable for ending [finishing] something.
Yes, this task is
placed very strategically.
What will...
Who will get to present what?
Who will get to
finish/end it first?
I think I'll start with…
I like big presents. Marte.
Can I just say something first?
- Absolutely.
I have a feeling that you'll
forget the person who starts.
No no. It would take a
lot to forget that thing.
It overshadows all the others.
Thank you, Atle.
I have...
I have brought a classic finisher,
which I use to end/finish
things several times a day.
Several times a day?
- Absolutely.
Are you ready?
- We are ready.
Yes, feel free to clap. Okay.
There's something about
building up the anticipation.
Literally. Ready, set...
Several times a day?
- Several times a day.
The kids are going to Poland.
[it's common to sell toilet paper to
fund school trips to Auschwitz]
Why do you have so much?
[it's common to sell toilet paper to
fund school trips to Auschwitz]
I repeat, the kids are going to Poland.
- Yes, right.
So this has a double meaning.
Not only should this be the last
thing you do when you leave the bowl.
So this is...?
- This is what I'm left with.
It's the end of project Poland.
I have brought what I had left.
So you didn't sell all the
toilet rolls you had to sell?
Yes, I will now.
Now you will, yes.
At least get rid of it.
So you've kept so much instead of selling?
[indicating that she has funded
the trip with her own money]
We have sent kids to Poland before
without having sold a single one.
So we have our own toilet room.
Or toilet paper room.
You have your own toilet room?
People call it "bathroom",
but we insist on "toilet room".
That's posh.
That's very posh.
You live in Asker [posh neighbourhood
outside of Oslo] with your own toilet.
I don't think it's the fact that you're
first up that makes him forget the task.
No.
- Oh no...
It was just a thought I had.
- It's episode 10, Olli.
A classic finisher there.
Lovely! Tuva.
I have brought something
that can end several things.
It can end a friendship,
it can end a date,
and it can also end a marriage,
because this is
grounds for divorce,
and that is…
socks and sandals.
And I know that you
completely agree with me, Atle,
because I have
been in contact with
your good friend Johan Golden
[comedian, Atle's radio co-host],
and your son, Kasper,
to get hold of a picture of you
with socks in your sandals.
That cannot be found.
Your son writes:
"Hi. I think on principle he
would never think of wearing that."
"I think he would use
the words 'too urban',"
"'daft', and 'I'm not
that kind of guy'."
"I don't know what he does in
the bedroom, but out here..."
You have obviously asked
an additional question too,
which wasn't just about
socks and sandals.
Yes, but we don't need
to include that here.
"But out here he only
has his feet in the sandals."
I must remember to tell Kasper
that he managed that well.
So here we completely agree.
We completely agree.
Absolutely!
But there's a person down there,
isn't there?
- Yes, yes.
That's fun.
Yes, it looks like a
person is lying there.
Can it move?
- Please move your toes, person.
Yes, look at that!
- It's alive, yes!
Oh, I thought that was your shoes!
- No, my god!
I don't have four feet!
I forgot about the others!
I thought they were Tete's!
- It won't stop!
There's a foot
model lying there.
Yes, I brought a foot
model for the occasion.
That's good!
Stian.
Yes.
One thing that might be good
to have as a tool to end something,
if you have people visiting who
don't want to fucking leave, is...
once you've tried,
"Now it's getting late..."
When you've tried
all those tricks...
"I've got to get to
work early tomorrow."
...and people stay put,
I have found,
after a lot trial and error,
something that works,
and that is scented
candles that smell like crap.
"Swamp ass".
That's fun.
Let's have a little smell
of the classic "Swamp Ass".
We can take a bit of this.
It's nice to know that
there's a market for everything.
Yes, this is from the well-known
producer The Candle Daddy.
Oh fuck!
I'm really looking
forward to this.
Now we can just...
Scented candles are
pretty bad in the first place.
Just let it wander a bit.
It's coming.
I think I have to come over and smell.
- What do you think?
There is a stench
that hits later.
Oh fuck!
Fucking hell!
Yes.
You need to get close to it.
I can't.
- Are you sure?
No, I can't!
I'm curious about
where to use it.
That's what you should...
I'll close it.
Don't you want to
smell a bit of "Shart", too?
"Shart" is when
you think it's a fart,
but then you shit your pants.
That's what it really is.
We can save that
for another time.
Probably a huge
difference from the other!
That's what you should
use in the bathroom.
Everything exists.
- Yes, everything exists.
That's nice to know.
Very good.
Christian.
Yes.
I have brought something
that can also end most things.
And I thought a bit of you, Olli.
Since this is
something you like.
Yes.
And that's tap shoes.
- Yes, I like that.
It's easy to think that these
are only for entertainment,
but they can also be used
for proper things,
like ending something.
I'm no tap dancer.
That's a disadvantage, surely.
What did you say?
- That might put you at a disadvantage.
No, because this isn't
about how you tap dance,
but that tap dancing in itself
indicates an end to something.
It could be anything.
Like a show, for example.
"Thank you all for coming.
You have been a great audience."
"Thanks for having me."
[courtesy phrase used when
leaving/ending something]
Or...
Or like Marte,
after a visit to the toilet:
"Oh, that was wonderful to get out.
Thanks for having me."
Or...
It can be used on most things.
You know this, Olli,
since you tap dance.
It can be used on most things.
Also more serious things.
For example, to end a
relationship or a marriage.
After an argument:
"We never agree on anything."
"I love you, but we should just end it.
Thanks for having me."
That was good!
That was good.
It adds a surprising amount.
I know.
- It lifts the mood.
- And it's so simple.
Tete.
Yes, I have been very clear.
I knew immediately
what to bring.
It might be a bit 'dark',
but that will have to do.
It's pretty easy to
understand... these.
So, a knitted sweater,
for example.
You could finish
knitting a sweater.
You could check if the
pound cake is ready...
Stick it in and check.
Did you think of something else?
- No no no no!
I was just thinking of
a socket in the wall.
Right? I've tried that too.
It went well.
Wall-to-wall carpet.
I survived.
And, somewhat in
the same genre as you,
you can end with a...
Yes, you need that now.
I need it now.
Well done!
Creative.
There are five options.
Good or bad,
that's up to you.
Yes, a lot of it was good.
I haven't forgotten
those tap shoes.
I haven't. But I am...
I think I...
It's a little more effort
than we're used to seeing.
So I think you get 1 point,
Marte, for your classic finisher.
I'm sorry to say,
but that's what it is.
1 point for you, Marte.
Sucks to go first.
Sucks to go first.
Tete...
That got a bit too dark.
Knitted sweaters?
Pound cakes?
Pound cakes are dark.
But you get 2 points.
- Two is fine, that.
Christian, you get 3.
Yes, you do.
I think it's...
Yes, they're nice,
those sandals.
You will get 4.
And you actually win with
those scented candles!
Good!
5 points to Stian.
Olli, I don't think everything we do
here necessarily needs to have depth.
Don't you agree? Sometimes it's
good enough just to have a laugh.
Just do something superficial.
We don't have to
strive for the depth
we have in everything
we do here all the time.
No, we certainly have
something like that.
Yes, that's what I mean.
We have that.
We have things
that appeal to those
who like the simplest
form of humour.
And having said that, Atle,
if I say the word 'spinning top',
what do you think of?
[euphemism for penis]
Yes, then...
Then of course I think of a toy,
and only a toy, which is balancing on
a tip while it's spinning around.
Yes, okay.
But are there no other definitions?
Not when you're older than nine.
Right, then it's just a toy.
Got it.
Okay. Spin the top.
A little spinning top.
Oi, sponge cake!
I'll put on my glasses.
No, it was a spinning top!
"Present..."
I can't say this!
"Present the
largest spinning top."
"You have 30 minutes."
"The top must spin for a minimum
of five seconds to be approved."
Then I have to do
it for 10 seconds.
I have to imagine it.
What?
- The spinning top.
I have my glasses...
Small print?
- It looks like morse code.
"You get five minutes
deducted from your time"
"for every spinning top
[penis] joke you make."
It's lucky that I read that!
What is your relationship
with spinning tops?
I don't know.
It's been a few years since
I've had a spinning top.
I could easily have
made something else.
Oh yes?
But I understand that
it's this you're after.
Was that a joke?
- That was a joke.
Yes, Olli.
Here you are already counting
jokes before we have started.
Yes, Tuva got one straight away.
Here it was important
to stay focused,
to keep up with all
the 'spinning top' jokes
being fired in my direction.
It was written in the task letter,
as we can see here, in tiny print:
"You get five minutes
deducted from your time"
"for every spinning
top joke you make."
Yes, which some of these
participants didn't see.
Specifically Stian,
Tete, and Tuva.
Let's have a look.
We have to go out to the shed.
I don't think there are many
spinning tops to be found here.
Joke number two?
- Joke number two.
Oi!
This is perfect
spinning material.
Yes!
You choose a spinning
top with lots of balls?
Yes, that makes sense.
How?
Spinning top [penis].
Balls.
That spins.
Now I'll make the top.
Then we'll have the spinning top.
Oi, a wink?
Another joke?
You have to blink
when you say "spinning top".
Was that another joke?
- Yes. Oh no!
The jokes are coming
on a conveyor belt.
Too bad I won't be doing
stand-up in 30 minutes.
Good lord...
Are you sweaty?
No, are you?
- Yes!
Why?
I'm fiddling with
my spinning top.
"Excuse me, sir?
Can you help me screw my 'spinning top'?"
This is a chair ['stol'].
Don't trust ['stol'] the spinning top.
What relationship do you think
the others have to spinning tops?
Two of them have one,
and the other two
might want one.
How much time do I have left?
You have spent 7, 35...
47 minutes.
Of course I haven't
spent 47 minutes.
You have spent 12 minutes
and 30 seconds on the clock,
plus five, ten...
Yes, 35.
So that makes 47.
Because I said "spinning tops"?
No!
"You get five minutes
deducted from your time"
"for every spinning
top joke you make."?
You made a lot of good ones.
I've counted seven.
You're keeping track
of the time, right?
Absolutely.
The time ran out
5.5 minutes ago.
I haven't spent 30 minutes!
You have spent 16 minutes
and 40 seconds.
Yes, so it hasn't run out yet?
It has, seven minutes ago.
How much time have I spent now?
You have spent 29.5 minutes.
You have half a minute left.
What?
I haven't been standing
here for half an hour.
No, you have been
standing here for 4:32.
You have 20 seconds left.
No!
Your time's up.
What does it say down there?
"You get five minutes
deducted from your time"
"for every spinning
top joke you make."
I haven't done anything else!
No!
Just a little higher up and
this would be spinning for ages!
Don't say another word.
Goodbye!
Yes.
Yes, it is very rare that a task is
solved so evenly by three participants.
All three have not impressed by
presenting the largest spinning top.
All three have not
impressed with their jokes.
And all three have not impressed with
paying attention to the task text.
It was the first time I
managed to make Olli laugh,
so I got carried away.
"He likes this.
He likes this very much!"
A cynical game from
this bastard here.
Yes.
It looks hard not
to joke about it.
You get joy out of
the simple things.
I understand you.
Especially when
you get a few laughs.
I thought, "Now I've hit Olli's
Achilles heel. He loves this."
The more, the better.
You all spent too much time.
You had 30 minutes in total.
Basically, they share the last place.
- Yes, they do.
But Tuva spent four
and a half minutes...
...making 10 spinning top jokes.
I had no time to relax.
You could barely breathe!
- I walked straight into the trap.
You would have to make jokes
both while inhaling and exhaling.
When you said,
"I haven't done anything else",
that was true.
We have two more.
We can take a look
at Christian and Marte.
Watch the lamp.
I think we should...
Let's try it here.
A little towards me.
If you let go, it's easier for me
to know how out of control it is.
Ok, then I'll let go.
- Yes.
It was close, at least.
How much time do I have left?
You have 10 minutes left.
10 minutes?
I imagine that this will
be spinning slowly around.
You can film it from down there.
And the two of us can sit there.
That's a nice image.
Shall we see...
Towards me.
Then we'll start spinning.
Okay.
Yes...
Yes?
- That's good.
One, two, three, four...
Yes. That was over five seconds.
Bye.
- Bye.
Yes, Christian,
you read the fine print.
Yes.
- And you thought big.
Thank you.
- And you tried.
And you failed!
- Yes.
Yes, because it didn't spin long
enough to be called 'a spinning top'.
No, not if you play
at normal speed.
Then it's not long enough.
No.
- I figured someone could...
So you haven't
completed the task either,
and end up in last place,
together with the others,
but you get a very solid 1 point.
Thank you.
You'll get that. 1 point, 1 point,
1 point, solid 1 point.
That can be good to bring
with you further in the game.
And of course it's a victory for Marte,
who comes in from the wing!
So it's 1, 1, 1, 1,
and 5 for Marte.
Look at that!
Then we can see that in total today,
the standings are...
Oi, straight up in a
collective lead there.
3, 4, 5, 6, 6.
It can't get much
closer than that.
Is it time for a
little ad break?
Atle, what are the two things
that you like best in this world?
Well...
That has to be
cakes and doorways.
Cakes and doorways?
Right, okay.
Hi, Olli.
- Hi.
A cake?
A cake.
A sponge cake, even.
Yes, yes, yes, nothing is better
in the heat than a little cream.
"Bring this sponge cake through as many
doorways as possible within 10 minutes."
"If the cake is brought through
the same doorway twice,"
"the task is over."
Oi. "Your time starts now."
Oi! Doorway... Oi.
How the hell am I
supposed to do that?
You should hurry.
It's...
Is it hubris?
Is it an overreaction?
"What the hell?
A cake through a door?"
"That's impossible!"
"What kind of task is this?
Can it be done?"
I had completely run
out of brain capacity.
"How the hell is it possible
to take something in twice?"
You did well with the reaction.
Can we see how it went?
Absolutely.
We can take a look at the task.
It is very straight forward.
Walk through as many doorways
as possible with the cake,
but never the same
doorway twice.
I think we'll start with...
Everyone?
- Everyone! I'd love that!
Can I just take it like this?
Okay.
Then I can only go
through each doorway once.
This boy is fit, you know.
One.
One.
Two.
Can I go through the same door,
just not twice in a row?
It's in the letter.
This is fun.
I don't know the
house very well.
And then I just have to think.
Three...
Four...
Five.
There.
And there.
Like that.
And now you can't get back in?
No, I can't, since I can't go
through the same doorway twice.
One doorway.
So flexible!
Out here.
I'll go take a
look at the letter.
What does it say?
"If the cake is brought through the same
doorway twice, the task is over."
Eight.
Nine.
Ten.
God, I've never been here before.
11.
Now I don't know
what will be up here.
Finally, I get some use out of
my experience as a server.
There.
Now only this boy needs
to get over the edge.
Here. One.
Are you going in there?
- Of course.
Perfect. 11.
- 11.
12.
- 12.
I have to stop...
I can't get...
I can't go out there again now?
No.
13?
- Yes.
Bye bye, cake.
That is also a door.
- Yes, but I just...
I can't go out here again.
- And that's locked?
Is the task over, then?
There.
My work here is done.
Then I'll end here.
Yes!
- Two more doors.
Then we'll have some cake.
Bon appetit.
Stian, you were really good
at going through doorways!
You could go there all day!
I went around like a whirlwind.
- Lots and lots of doorways!
Did you see the smile too?
- Yes, what a confidence!
And what a fall
at the end there.
If it hadn't been for that letter,
you could have stayed there all day.
I would've still been there.
Beautiful. It was beautiful.
But the second it dawned on you
is some of the
best TV you can get.
I liked that.
Tuva, impressive.
Thinking outside the box.
Outside the garden too.
But it wasn't really necessary.
You just ended up with 13.
Only 13 doorways.
And the lucky number 13
is the same as Marte's.
And you never left the house,
so that's good.
You had eight fewer
than Tete and Christian.
You both got 21.
And Stian, you went
through doorways 33 times.
Yes, but 24 of them were the same,
so you end up with nine.
A clear last place.
1 point for Stian.
3 points for Tuva and Marte,
and 5 points for Tete and Christian.
Yes, now it's coming to an end,
and what do you say, Olli?
Shall we end the season
with a real show?
Yes, a real show?
- A real show!
Yes, I could always
squeeze in some agility
and some elements of dressage,
and robotic lawn mowers.
I have that in stock.
- That's a real show!
Are there other shows?
- What?
There are no other shows!
- No.
Oi.
A robotic lawn mower.
I have a feeling that this
will be something awful.
"Get Fido the robotic lawn mower"
"to perform an
impressive agility show."
I don't even know what that is.
"The show starts in 30 minutes."
"Olli is looking forward
to breakneck stunts,"
"unsurpassed obedience,
and wonderful teamwork."
Wow! That's fun!
Now I regret not going to all those
agility show I've been invited to.
Then I would have
known what this is.
Yes, stunts, obedience, teamwork,
and a robotic lawn mower.
It can't get any better than that.
- It can't get any better than that!
A real show! Yes!
It will be a show.
Here comes...
Marte, would
you like to go first?
Alone?
No, we can add Christian.
This will be a show.
I'll start with the tenderloin
of agility, the plank.
No! I see now that
its wheels are too wide!
Yay!
Here we have a barrier.
Now it can't get out there,
so it has to go up the ramp.
I could find a stick.
That one.
Here, Fido.
Yes, my boy!
Yes!
Come on! Come on!
Don't go! Don't go!
Turn around.
Come on now.
No, no.
Good, Fido.
Stop, Fido.
Spin around.
Fido, stop!
No.
Good, Fido.
Now it's the finale.
There you go!
Come on!
Come on!
Faceplanting.
Talk about... breakneck stunts!
Now it's time for a film, Olli.
An advertisement film.
Christian, get in!
I'm glad you liked it, Atle.
Stick!
- That was for you, Atle.
- Wig! Show!
It wasn't that strenuous, was it?
It looks so easy, but it's...
It looks easy, and it
might be because you said
what it had to do
immediately after it had done it.
Just as it turned, "Turn!"
That's the trick.
What do you think
of Marte, then?
Marte?
- Don't bother.
I think it was better
than Christian.
That's something.
Yes, that's actually something.
You are a dog person,
aren't you?
Absolutely, I love agility.
- You do?
We didn't see any trace of that.
- No.
Shall we see the rest?
- Shall we see the rest? Oi, what timing!
The weapon is in place.
We have... a siren.
And, ladies and gentlemen,
of course we
have a lot of action,
in the form of explosives.
Fido starts here,
waves to the judges,
and off we go.
Passes the ball under the slide.
New ball.
In here. Working.
Through the sausage.
And then calmly
backs into place.
Bows.
And the crowd goes wild.
Start the show!
Come here, Fido!
Come here.
No, no, no.
Come here, Fido.
There you go.
No, now I have no control.
Fido! Come on!
First it will go through here,
up here,
tear that down,
bump into that,
the ball goes into the goal.
Yes, yes, yes!
Turn!
Come on. Come on.
No, no, no.
One more time.
Come on. Fido, here!
So it will come here,
position itself,
down the last tube,
push, push, push,
and then at the very end...
the finish line.
Okay.
Improvising.
There, Fido. Go!
Yes!
Wonderful!
Very good!
Okay.
Are you going back there?
Well...
Come on, Fido.
We have practiced this!
Here, here, here!
Look here. Here, here.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
A little more this way.
A little more to the left.
Come on!
No, no, no, don't back up!
Don't back up!
Fuck!
Look!
It passes every single one...
Go!
Fire in the hole!
This is action! Wow!
Go inside!
Good boy!
Good boy, good boy.
There you go.
Oi, now you're going fast, Fido.
Yes! Good!
Get the ball!
There you go!
Brilliant!
Show!
- Brilliant, Tuva. Show!
You said "brilliant".
Was it really?
If that's your definition of "brilliant",
I understand why you're in last place.
You saw how difficult it was.
It looked difficult.
- Yes, it was really difficult.
So this was brilliant considering
what it could achieve,
and how the dog and I
communicated with each other.
You also contributed
to making it look difficult,
but I enjoyed watching it.
Tete, you had high ambitions here.
I'll give you that.
The ambitions were high,
but I need a break
after watching…
This is one of the most
tiring things I've ever seen.
It is pretty irritating.
How many points would
you have given yourself?
If I'm looking with...
You have someone
to compare yourself to.
Then it would be 5, yes.
Do you have any thoughts?
There were a lot of
different solutions here.
Yes, I have a lot of thoughts.
We already know that you
won't get a full pot, Christian.
Even though I personally like it,
it's too narrow.
I had a feeling about that.
It was art, but it was too narrow.
So you get 1 point.
Marte gets 2.
Tuva, you get 3 points.
Then it's between
Stian and Tete.
It's 4 for you, Stian,
and 5 for you, Tete.
Now it's time for the very
last task of the season.
We know where
that will take place.
It will take place here on stage.
On your marks!
Yes, there is a 'finale'
atmosphere in the air.
Now everything will be decided.
And what better way to decide
than to have trolls in a box?
Yes, you will now compete
in 'trolls in a box'. Kind of.
You have a pair of headphones that
you will put on soon, so no-one can cheat.
The competition is about
being the second-to-last person
who jumps out from your own box.
If you are second-to-last,
you get 5 points,
but if you are last,
you get zero points.
You have to jump
out by standing up.
You must then stretch your arms
out to the sides and say, "Ta-da!"
Now you can put
on your headphones,
so you won't hear anything.
They must be on properly.
Okay, then we'll start.
The task-
Right, they can't hear any of this.
The task is underway.
Yes yes yes.
Ta-da! Fuck!
Ta-da!
Ta-da!
Ta-da!
Are you serious? What?
Ta-da! No!
Yes, then we know
who got zero points,
but we'll still sum
it up down there.
We'll do that.
Good job.
Olli, give us a final summary
of the points in this task.
I can tell you what
just happened.
Marte, you were last.
That means zero points.
It couldn't be helped.
No, but it was fun.
Seeing you come out
at the end like, "Ta-da!".
That was fun.
Then it was Stian.
Yes, great.
2 points for you.
Tete, 3 points.
Christian, almost great, 4 points.
And Tuva, 5 points!
Congratulations.
This task...
Shall we see here.
Now we'll see who walks away
with the victory in today's programme.
It is...
Tete and Tuva together!
That's fantastic!
You win lots of things that are
suitable for ending something.
Congratulations on that.
But now, the only thing remaining
is to see who runs away with
the overall victory.
Olli, drum roll.
Okay.
The overall winner
of the season is...
Let's see who
runs away with it...
It's Tete Lidbom!
Tete Lidbom!
Congratulations!
You have made both me, the nation,
and not least Trøndelag, proud!
Finally you will get to
enjoy the companionship
of this bust for
the rest of your life.
Olli, we have an extra
surprise for you at home.
Yes, we'll be back
in a few weeks
with a Christmas special
featuring former contestants.
That's right.
See you again before you know it.
Thank you and goodbye!
Original Norwegian subs by:
Monica Mikkelsen (LinQ Media Group)
English translation by:
u/msbtvxq
Proofread by:
u/taskmastermaster