Kongen befaler (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 7 - Episode #3.7 - full transcript

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"Fruit of the Sea"

Welcome to Kongen Befaler, where I put
five of Norway's sharpest, fittest, -

- and funniest entertainers
on trial in tasks I have made.

One of them will end up
with the ultimate prize:

A bust in gold of me.

With me I have an assistant
in gold, who no one can win, -

- because he's just mine.
- Lovely.

-Almost too much?
-No, pass.

-Good to see you, Olli.
-Thank you very much.

And the five who will fight-

-for this award, are Erik [Follestad].



It's Linn [Skåber].

It's Egil [Hegerberg].

It's Trond [Fausa Aurvåg].

And that's Jenny [Skavlan].

Yes, yes. It's heading toward
the end of the season, in fact.

Let's take a look at
how the overall position is.

It's exciting. Oi, there's one
who's into three digits.

Quite simply. Trond is ...

It looks like a bigger
lead than it is.

That's 14 points, but that's a lot.
What do you say, Trond?

-I'm happy.
-You should be.

Our impression is that you have
stumbled through the tasks, -

-but still you pull out
victory after victory.

Is the competition weak,
or are you just doing good?



-I ...
-Here you can choose, too.

-You have a completely free choice.
-I must be doing good.

I think it was a wise choice.
Jenny, impressively high up now.

-You're not exactly in the middle anymore.
-No, I'm going for victory.

I have real faith in
the tasks that remain.

I have high self-esteem, Trond
has low. Trond has shown what he has.

Now it's up to the rest of us
to squeeze the juice out ...

As she said that, you can see in him
that he believes it a bit himself, too.

Yes, I think so myself.
Based on the tasks we have left.

-I don't know if it holds up to the end.
-You've been through the best?

We will start with the first task.

The first task is a prize task-

-where everyone brings
something in a given category.

Everything is put in a pot and
given to the winner of today's program.

-As in every program.
-True. And then I say:

-Let's get today's task.
-Yes, today's task reads as follows:

"Bring your finest fruit sculpture."
You have done that.

It is not a prerequisite that
you had a fruit sculpture at home.

It might have been designed for the occasion.

-I hope I'm clear.
-Yes.

The blankets look very different.

It's fun to start with the
biggest one first. Linn.

-What do you have there? Fruit sculpture.
-Yes, say hello to ...

-Jon Melon!
-Oi!

Oi!

Yes, but I'm so in love with him.

-Have you become fond of him?
-He's alive.

Look at that. Isn't Kongen Befaler
a fun program?

-Isn't it fun to be with?
-Should Linn get lots of points?

He can only do that.

-But that's fine.
-I would say that this was-

-much more than expected.

And then it's fun to think
that you can do this.

It should be a much more active hobby.

-You didn't make it yourself!
-Who made it for you?

-I made it easy.
-You paid someone to make it.

-Who made it?
-I made it myself.

The task is to bring a fruit sculpture.

And if someone has help doing
such things, it's legal.

If someone has help from countries where
they're used to working with fruit.

Yes, shall we go to the opposite end? Egil,
do you have anything under your handkerchief?

I've made a little still life.

Of delicious brown cheese.

-Brown ... Oh yes.
-You have shaped ...? Oi!

-It's brown cheese?
-It's brown cheese. Two slices of brown cheese.

It was better than it
looked from a distance.

What fruit is it?

We have three bananas, a bunch of
grapes which unfortunately-

-don't go so well together. Then it's
a pear, three apples, and a pineapple.

-What's the green?
-It's cherry tomato.

-Shall we go to you, Jenny?
-Let's do it.

I have made a sculpture with a message.

I have sewn a fruit sculpture-

-with a message.

This is a sculpture that I have called-

-"Free Britney", which is ...
-Here is the story behind it.

Yes, these are stuffed animals that
I found in the children's room.

This is Britney, which is the
little grape that lies -

-between Dad, Jamie Spears,
and the American legal system,

-and they squeeze out
the juice of Britney Spears, -

-which is located here.
Grape juice.

That's her talent. Everything
is squeezed out of her.

And here are the greedy fans who
receive the fruit juice.

And becomes completely disproportionately
large. This is a huge blueberry.

Something tells me that the artwork
is not open to interpretation.

It comes fully interpreted.

-It's good. It's approved.
-Thank you.

-Don't look so gloomy, Trond.
-No.

You haven't lost yet. It doesn't
look like you have faith.

But we'll take you first, Erik.

We can do that. It is ...

It's sparse.

There are three friends
in the hot tub.

And they eat ...

You need a little more.
It helped a little with those berries.

They were very cute.

-They sit and enjoy themselves.
-Dolphins?

Yes.

-It's open to interpretation.
-Dolphins are not stupid.

And they eat currants.

I'm not going to kiss ass too much,
but that was a really good idea.

It looks like three dolphins
in the green Mediterranean.

Maybe that's what it is.

-It was absolutely fantastic.
-In the wave pool.

-Yours is open to interpretation.
-Yes.

-And I made it myself.
-Yes, that's clear.

I believe that.

In all its simplicity,
not at all stupidly solved.

And it's made of fruit.

Yes, Trond, then we have had four good ones.
Aren't they very good?

And now of course comes ...

Is there no fruit on it?

But the plot is that shells
are the fruit of the sea.

So I have answered the question.

But you figured it out now.

No, Google it. Where have you been
in the last 40 years?

-I have barely heard it.
-So far?

It's a common saying.

Didn't we agree that we
were done with the owls?

It's absolutely wonderful.

I know you're weak for it, Atle.

It evokes memories in me. Do you
remember when we laughed at the owls?

That time was fun. A great time.

-Are we ready for points?
-Yes.

It's a little difficult.
And surprisingly many nice things.

But based on effort
and the final result ...

It bothers me a lot, Erik, because
it was very charming and sweet.

Maybe a little simple.
You get one point.

Am I losing to Jenny?

I have filled grape juice in
a bottle. I've done a lot!

It's very ugly.

But it shouldn't be pretty!

Therefore, she gets two points.
And Egil, you get three.

-Three? Top!
-Trond, you get four for your owl.

-Linn, you get five points.
-Huh? Thank you very much!

The owl is a voice
anchor without equal.

If you had an owl in the
tasks you didn't do well in, -

-you might have gotten
five points there, too.

-Then this is the position.
-No big surprise there.

Now we have a task that is equally relevant
for pensioners at Meny [grocery store], -

middle-aged men at Polet [liquor store],
and teenagers desperately hunting-

-after a party.
-The next task revolves around-

-calculating how much weight a plastic
bag can take before the handles break.

There you are. Then you have-

-a task for me, not in the bag,
but in the envelope?

Yes.

-We'll see, then.
-"Get the plastic bag-

-to weigh as much as possible."
-"The bag must hang from the handle-

-without breaking to be approved."

"You have 20 minutes.
Time starts now!"

-Go ahead
-Thank you very much. Yes...

Yes, it's something most people
can see themselves in.

The plastic bag should weigh-

-as much as possible when
it hangs on the scale.

I want to start with
Aunt Pose [1940 film]. Linn.

Yes, but I don't like that.
Because you often start with the worst.

No, it's completely random.

Then I toss to Jenny, Egil and Erik.

We do it.

Please.

I have to make the world's
strongest bag first.

Then I need duct tape.

I wonder if one should
reinforce the bag.

I find duct tape for bag reinforcement.

And then I need another bag.

And then I open the sides.

Looks like you know
what you're doing.

Carpentry paint.
It's the heaviest paint.

Heavy paint. I'm still good inside.

-Are you impressed?
-About what then?

-The weight.
-Impressed by the weight?

When reinforcing bags, it's
important to be careful.

You can't put on tape
in the shed and hope.

This is needlework that I'm so good at.
I share that with Skavlan in mind.

Like that, now this sturdy bag is done.

Reinforcements here so it can't break.

Then I have to find something heavy.

Shall we start with that
and then we'll see?

You know, there is zero stress.

Now I get it well in the bag here.

I don't know how much it weighs.
But then I'll hang it.

-You're ready?
-Then we hang it up.

-I think we're going for it, Olli.
-Good.

Then it's the moment of truth.

-Like that.
-Yes.

-Like that!
-It hangs.

The bust is closer than ever.

Yes, first to you, Jenny.
You're at home here.

-You made a designer bag!
-It looked like a nice tote bag.

Almost like a Hermès bag.

I was just about to say that. Because they're
expensive! Aren't they the most expensive?

-What are you selling it for?
-That? Two ... kroner. [~US$0.25]

If you had walked through the small
street behind the Storting, [legislature] -

-to see if anyone would put it on
shelves, it could be a few thousand.

-But it was nice.
-And pretty big.

I went for a slightly different
strategy. I magnified.

I don't know if you noticed that
my hook looked a little different.

Did you see that? The hook itself.

It may have something to do with the fact that
it was a little too heavy for the original hook.

I like how cocky you get when you get praised.

It's so rare I've done well.
But you have saved Trond.

I also have not said
whether it is approved.

You destroyed the bag we
were going to use and left it up ...

I just opened the sides.
So it's all around.

It can be called modifying,
and it is often allowed here.

It is approved. A little surprised
that you're so concerned, Erik.

-Why?
-Do you reinforce bags often?

-You've had enough beer.
-There have been some beers.

So the use of it I understand.
You were very good at reinforcement.

-Yes, I was careful.
-It looked nice.

-It didn't look good.
-It was nice.

-You're quite sure you beat me?
-Yes, I am.

Mine was very heavy. It's probably
the heaviest of what we've seen today.

-But didn't you strengthen your bag?
-No, I just bet on luck.

It sure wasn't that stupid.
I have exact measurements here in kilos.

Shall we see? Egil, unfortunately
you're probably at the back.

What? With that heavy, fine bag.

It was 13.1 kilos. It's great,
but at the back.

So far so good.

Then there is Linn at 18.4.

Then there is Erik with 25.3
and Jenny with 31.8.

31.8! Yes!

But there is one left.

Trond. And we know that the last one
often has screwed the pooch, -

-or made it absolutely amazing.

And this time it's something as rare
as a combination of the two.

-Do you have a strategy?
-No, I fill things.

Make the bag weigh
as much as possible.

Take a drill. You know
what, I'll do that.

And then ...

I can only hang it in place once.

I have a cunning plan ...
which is great.

It's allowed to be happy when
you come up with something smart.

I'm hooking it on ... now.

Hell. But it wasn't the one that broke.

-The bag has not broken.
-No, the bag has not broken.

What shit this is.

Ok? Ready, set, go.

Oops, shit!

-The bag does not have ...
-The bag has not broken?

-No.
-The construction has broken.

-It works for you.
-I would agree with that.

-Cunning plan.
-Yes, it's cunning.

Ok.

-Ok. Clear...
-Ready, set, go.

-Nice?
-Yes.

Yes. Isn't it annoying when you have
such an ingenious and cunning plan, -

- and then Olli gets you
to look like an idiot?

-They cut my stupidity.
-Cut your clumsiness, again.

There was obviously a lot of weight
here. The question is whether-

-you hung by the strap
or by the handle of the bag.

Of course I hung by the handle.

Olli, you probably have
some comments here.

-At least one.
-He did not hang-

-where he was supposed to hang.
-No, not by the bag.

-He hung by ...
-... by the strap.

By the strap, yes. So then there
will probably be zero points for it.

Yes. Then we have the results ready.

Egil is second at the bottom with
two points. Linn three, -

-Erik with four,
and Jenny gets five points.

-Lovely.
-Now we see the scores.

Linn jumps up to first place. Did you
notice that I laughed when I said that?

I didn't think it was true.
Is something wrong with the graphics?

Linn leads, and Jenny is in second place.

And Trond is last! It's backwards
land, but it's close.

Four, five, five, seven, eight.

Yes, Olli. I'm a little
in the nostalgic corner.

One of my hobbies as a child was marbles.

I played a lot with marbles,
but I put the whole thing on ice.

Yes. Do you have something
that can evoke old memories?

Marbles and ice? Yes.

-Oh! Oi.
-There's ice here.

"Put the blue marble in the tin can."

"Fastest wins. Time starts now."
Then I reckon that this ...

Then I reckon there's
a blue marble in there.

Can you carry this?
No, I'm going.

-Now I've got stiff nipples.
-Exciting.

Trond, I like how you always
look a little skeptical.

You're looking at Olli.
"Is someone trying to fool me again?"

-Yes, there is always a dispute.
-Sometimes it is.

Here there might be.

Here you have to be the fastest
to put the blue marble in the can.

And everything is
inside the ice block.

And how the five solve the task,
we'll see right after a short break.

Welcome back to Kongen Befaler.
We will play with ice and marbles.

-Who should we see first?
-We start with Linn, -

-Jenny, Erik, and Trond.
-Oi.

-What are you going to do?
-Take it to the bathtub.

Let hot water run on it, so that
in the meantime ... It's stuck!

So...

So in the meantime I can find a
chopping tool, a small ax, or something.

-It's stuck again!
-Look here.

This is brilliant.

Hi, the bathtub was
absolutely brilliant.

The dumbest thing is there's probably
an idiot in the lab who's doing that.

Hell of a thing.

It's in.

Like that.

-Look there, yes.
-Thank you for me.

I'm very happy.
Is that another marble?

I think there are more, but there
was only one to go in?

I found it here.
It's probably an ice pick.

In here.

Like that, now it's in.

Like that.

There! Like that.

-Like that.
-Classy.

Linn, what's most tiring about
chopping out four balls of ice, -

-or to find the letter again
and read it again?

You rarely go for the most
tiring solution. Was it wise?

No, and it annoys me so much.
I guess I may have been the fastest.

-I know I'm disqualified.
-You shouldn't ignore that.

But Jenny, you went for
the same strategy as Linn.

-Is that reassuring?
-Not really, but anyway-

-how it went with this task,
I got a lot out of just-

- crushing things. Anger management.
- It was therapy?

-Yes.
-So good.

Then we have finally
given something back to you.

-Shall we look at some numbers?
-Yes.

I start with the one
who did best. Erik.

There's Erik.
One minute and 28 seconds.

And then Trond.
Three minutes and 22 seconds.

Linn, you spent 28 seconds
more than Trond.

And then comes Jenny in fourth,
with four minutes and 8 seconds.

But good you got something
out of the task.

But we must not forget
that we have one left.

Let's not forget that. We can
take a look and see how long-

-Egil used to get
the blue marble in the can.

I'm not sure how good this
is for the oven, so I ...

I go and see what we have in the shed.

Let's see.

Here we have a heat gun.
I think it is more effective.

-I don't know what we call these.
-Levers.

Shall we see.

Like that. There.

I think I did well there.

-Yes, you think it went well, Egil?
-Yes, I think so.

-Nothing to blame on that maneuver.
-It took a little long, -

-and it was the wrong marble,
but apart from that.

-But you were fast.
-Yes, two minutes and 32 seconds.

With the blue marble,
it would've been second place.

It was not. So then it will be zero.

There were zero points for you.
Erik takes five points, Trond four, -

-Linn three, Jenny two, and Egil zero.

It's a little sad, because
here you were doing well.

In many competitions
you have started well, -

-and then there's something
which is forgotten in the race.

Yes, there are probably
not many who start well.

This was perhaps one of them.

Ok, well fixed. There is a
lot of nonsense on this program.

Now I want to see
something a little dangerous.

Which is a bit daring and you put
the life of an entire family at risk.

Did you make your family available?

-No.
-Let's use mine, then.

Let's see. Oi.

"Save the Olli family."
It's you. Your family.

-God, so touching.
-Thank you.

But is it so dangerous with that Olli
family? How many of you are in the family?

-I have a brother.
-You have a brother, yes.

"The sandbag will be released
in 10 minutes.

You cannot move the family."

"Time starts now."
It will be released there.

And turns down.

-Can I move the sausages?
-Yes,

-I have to save them?
-Yes.

I'm starting to get a bad feeling.

In 10 minutes, a heavy sandbag
will be released against my family.

This gang is going to
save my whole family.

They cannot move the family, but
can move the sausages, Jenny.

-That's important.
-Yes, we're looking at Jenny and Erik.

The tractor! I just have to move it,
drive it in a perfect turn, -

-then I have to stop here.

Bam!

They should even look
a little cool. Clear.

Hell.

I'm kind of an engineer.
Did you know that?

-No. You're a carpenter.
-That's a bit of an engineer.

Come on!

I have a good foundation.
Maybe I should throw a little on top.

I'm building a kind of castle up here.

-It's so badly built.
-Aren't you an engineer?

-But then I have more than 10 minutes.
-I'm trying a little more.

Hi? I think that was
much better. Wasn't it?

Oh, fuck! Damn!

-Now I have tinkered with everything.
-Now it's happening.

Yes!

This was extremely crappy.

It was a bit disappointing, actually.
For an engineer.

You could have done well in
the domino effect task.

Almost better than you did.
There was a domino effect.

It wasn't good.

No, do you still consider
yourself an engineer?

-I went back on that.
-You took that picture.

The trade certificate.

It's burned.

-But Jenny, this was very good.
-I'm a little engineer.

You knocked over a small child,
but they're not so careful.

-No, it was more important with the sausages.
-But the branch.

That twig on the hood probably
didn't make a difference.

The only thing it did
was kill one of the kids.

It didn't die.
It just snorted a little.

But it was pretty superbly accomplished.

-What do you say, Olli?
-Erik is so far down, -

-and Jenny you lead, so far.
There are more left.

Will the participants manage to
save Olli and his poor family, -

-or will they prioritize saving the
sausages? Find out after the break.

Welcome back to Kongen Befaler.
We'll see if the participants can save-

-Olli's family
from a falling sandbag.

We might as well see the rest of the gang.

I'm thinking of simply
building a kind of wall-

-so the two little ones should be spared
for his father, stupid, stupid Olli-

-campground construction.

-Oi, solid wall.
-Yes, I would say that.

I would have built a wall of brick
if it was the royal family.

But they are not the ones to save.

We have to check if we can put
these together whatever it is.

Make a device that can puncture
the sandbag with a ski pole.

Which is one of the sharpest
objects in the bag here.

If I do that.

What is insane is that
a sack of a type-

-some of the sharpest humanity
knows, namely a rod.

-How long do we have?
-2.5 minutes left.

It was a little small.
Now it's rushing, Egil.

Hello. Can I call you in 20 minutes?

Yes, ok. Nice.

Yes, I can ... To be honest,
we didn't know she had class.

Ok. Yes. Great.

Thank you. Goodbye.

-Like that.
-Time's running.

Ten seconds left.

-Yes.
-And time's up!

Yes...

I'm putting something heavy here-

-in case the ladder
should tip over or-

- ruin my plan.

-Bang.
-Yes?

Then it happens.

Fuck!

-You ruined your wife and youngest.
-It is what it is.

No then, scratch that.

I saved one of four. You can
just start a new family.

-I saved you, Olli! It was good.
-You did.

-You wanted to spare the family?
-I don't know them.

So congratulations on the day.
I'm your savior.

-Thanks for that. Applause, to yourself.
-Yes. Goodbye!

Whatever.

Linn, does it seem like Olli
means a little to you?

But not so much for the rest of you?
That he is doing well is not so careful.

Are there points for
every human we didn't kill?

We'll get back to the points.

But very much ... What is a machete
called when it doesn't work?

-It was a lot of shit.
-It was lovely when the skis arrived.

"I'm setting up two skis.
That's going to fucking hold it."

If I may say a solution I could
have used, but which no one thought of?

It had been possible to fight
with the sandbag as it arrived.

Box it back up the window?

For example, standing and hunting
for it with a ski pole.

-And the pressure when it came?
-You mention ski poles, -

- I'm very fascinated by that.
There are some knives in the shed.

If the idea is to punch a hole in it,
I would choose something else.

Do you think a knife
is sharper or pointier?

-Some knives. Not a butter knife.
-No.

But a sharp knife is much
sharper than a ski pole.

Yes, I'll take that with me.

Until the next time you are exposed
to exactly the same thing.

Then choose a knife.

No, but we have to move on.
We will give points.

Linn, Egil, and Erik
saved only one person each.

But since children are the future,
they count more.

So Egil and Linn get two points,
Erik gets three points.

Trond saved two and gets four points.

Even if you knocked over a kid,
there are five points. Gorgeous.

-It's a win for Jenny.
-And the position so far is this:

Jenny is at the top.

Now it's the girls at the top.
We have Erik, too.

It's awfully close. But Egil,
now you're alone down there.

Now even Linn has left you.

Wasn't this sad?

No, it bounces off.

Can you be alone?
Don't you get lonely?

I've had to be alone a lot.
It's not very-

-attractive to be together
with such a guy.

-But there is hope. Nevertheless.
-No.

That's it. There is only one task left,
but there are a good number of points.

It's going to happen here in the
studio, right up on stage.

Erik. Letter. Can you read it?

"Atle will now tell about a monster
he dreamed of last night.

Draw the monster Atle talks about.
He will not repeat anything.

The monster Atle thinks best
matches the dream, wins.

-Some questions?
-Is there a portrait of Linn?

-Is that the monster Atle dreams of?
-Don't listen to her.

Here it is just to let the marker
dance while Atle tells.

"The monster had a round
body with wavy shoulders.

The ears were huge.

But the two red eyes were even bigger.

In the mouth it had four sharp teeth.

Then it had two more eyes, but they
were not as big as the other eyes.

The monster had three legs.
And one more leg.

And a wooden leg and a curly tail.

The monster had two horns on its back
that protruded behind its shoulders, -

-and red curly hair on the head.
The monster looked scary at me.

And was just about to drink from an
overly large green coffee cup.

Snip, snap, snoot, then
the adventure is done."

-You look confused, Erik.
-Yes, I'm totally ...

-Is it going well?
-Yes, it's possible.

-Do you like to draw?
-No, people think it's shit-

-when I draw.
-You can start wrapping up-

-the drawing. Nice dream, Atle.

Very nice dream.
I've put it behind me now.

At least until I see these drawings.

Unless anyone is volunteering
to come up with a pretty template?

Shall we say that it's
coming to an end here?

-Then are you done?
-Yes.

You will be allowed
to present your drawings.

Erik, we'll start with you.

You're the one I'm most excited about.

I've seen everything up close.

I would say it was much
better than what you said.

You have undersold a little.
It's not great, but it's something.

-I've surpassed myself.
-You're a little happy?

-I'm pretty happy.
-I understand that.

We will take an evaluation later. Linn?

Yes, mine is both a little scary
and a little sweet.

Yes. But at the same time, Erik, it's
not the case that yours differs so much-

-away from Linn's.
-No, but mine is much nicer.

They are similar.
They could have been brothers.

Maybe you're very good at drawing, Erik.

You've gotten so much flack
about your drawings.

I have faith in that.
I'm a little happy now.

-Lovely, Linn. Egil?
-Yes.

-Look here.
-It's pretty scary.

Very funny how everyone has gone
for the same bone structure.

Straight feet. Trond?

At least this one looks scary at Atle.

Because you see the eyebrows are ...

Yes, exactly, yes. You have chosen
a different solution for your legs.

Jenny, can I have a look at it?

-Look here, yes.
-Does it look scary or drunk?

It's hard to say.
But is it a loaf of bread?

No, it looks like shit there.
It's the wooden leg.

I thought it was a baguette.
A French monster.

-No.
-Most details are included.

Thank you very much. We will take a small
evaluation, then we will hand out points-

-when we sit down in the seats.

Here is a proud bunch with their
beautiful children's drawings.

Gorgeous. They're nice.

And we will give points. We have
seen that the details-

-agree with the monster
as I outlined.

There were many details to look out for.

-But we have spoken incorrectly.
-We have counted their mistakes.

-We have spoken incorrectly correctly.
-Correct. It's good you take care.

Important clarification. If not, there will
be emails from people in their living rooms.

We have listed the errors.

I have them here. Erik, sorry.

Nice drawing, but you're at the bottom.

It does not stand out negatively
in relation to the others.

But a little less detail.
That's how it is.

Next to last is Trond.

There are many mistakes.
You have too small eyes, -

-and lack horns behind. Here it's
a bit of each. One leg too many.

But we have a shared second place.

-It's between Linn and Jenny.
-Look at that.

Isn't that great?
Just as many mistakes.

There were only two mistakes.
Artistically speaking, quite similar.

-Do you think so?
-Yes, we think so.

Jenny and I agree that
mine is a little nicer.

But shall we pay homage to the
one who runs away with the victory?

Because it's not that often
he wins, in fact. Egil.

No mistakes, but a terribly ugly drawing.

Ugly drawing? Yes, but it doesn't
differ from the others.

This means that we have a decision
on who wins today's program.

Jenny wins. Get on stage and receive-

-these delicious fruit sculptures.

This means that we are back
next week with the last program-

- and the end of the season.
See you later! Yes!