Kojak (1973–1978): Season 2, Episode 23 - Two-Four-Six for Two Hundred - full transcript

While an accused thief sits in jail waiting for his lawyer to arrange bail, Kojak tries to decipher a phrase heard during an unsuccessful attempt to steal a paint company truck.

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Hey, you.

Come here.

Oh, wow, man.

You just scared the living--
Keep your voice down.

We're on a job.

Get in the back of the car.



[music playing]

What's going down?

You're going to hear a robbery.

[music playing].

Here they come.

Turn on the tape.

Are you sure they ain't got a dog?

A lot of these places got dogs.

I have checked very carefully, Juan.

There are no dogs.

Which truck do you want, Mr. Pataki?

The one with the letters.

Who's got the wire on him?

The guy with the Spanish accent.

It's a good thing you got me.

This thing's got a wheel lock.

Hey, for what do you want a
paint truck anyway, Mr. Pataki?

You're getting paint to
start it, not talk about it.

You need a truck?

You need a driver?

Hey, tell your bad friend
what a good driver I am, eh?

Yes, yes, Juan.

You are a very good driver.

Now we get a commercial.

You know, Jake, 246-4200 is not infallible.

It might be wise to have a standby car.

Collins got six days,
so all of us can drive.

Collins.

Harry Collins.

Oh, that's a night watchman.

Car 740 to central.

This is security.

Stop.

Stop or I'll shoot.

[gunshots]

Request backup, you now.

Obitski Industrial Painters.

The lead's off to stakeout.

Let's go.

[sirens]

Hold it.

Hold it.

Get him up.

Over here.

[gunshots].

[sirens]

[gunshots].

[sirens]

All units, attend 13.

How could we know there'd be
some trigger-happy night watchman?

Trigger-happy?

I was on the force when you had
cradle marks on your backside.

Come on, Freddy.

Crazy.

But crying out loud.

Must be senile.

Maybe he resents walking into a
felony in progress without being notified.

But at this speed, he should have
told us there was a night watchman.

Hey, you didn't tell me
what was going down.

You pulled me off the street and
told me you had a wire on some guy.

I thought he was undercover.

Undercover?

No kidding.

He wasn't undercover.

You see these two experienced detectives?

They put a wire on a passing car thief.

Lieutenant, Ramirez volunteered.

He signed waivers, everything.

Now, look, Lieutenant.

We got the word that Pataki
was into something big.

He got Ramirez to steal
the truck, so we made a

deal with Ramirez to find
out what was going on.

Maybe you ought to make another deal,
Stavros, before he goes and sees his lawyer.

Start suing the department.

Or maybe putting a lien
on one of your plants.

[radio chatter]

Have they had trouble like this before?

Not since I've been here.

How long you here?

Oh, about eight years.

Hey, look, from our two yo-yos over there,

I want their statements on my desk
in two hours, along with the tapes.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.

You heard your rights?

Yes, and I would like to
take advantage of them.

I wish to call my lawyer right away.

Tell me something, Pataki.

Tell me what a classy crook like
you is doing in a dump like this.

It's a mistake.

My lawyer will tell you
it's a terrible mistake.

Professional man, and you
always made a good living.

Never hurt anybody, never carried a gun.

You know, I always thought of
you as a modern-day Robin Hood.

And here you are, wanted
for attempted murder.

I did not shoot anybody.

Well, your partner did,
so it all hangs on you.

Along with a few other things,
like grand loss in the auto,

carrying a dangerous weapon,
a few other knickknacks.

Oh, yeah.

That's what you get for hanging around
with bad company, like Harry Collins.

I want my lawyer.
It is my constitutional right.

I want my lawyer.

Uh-huh, sure.

[SIREN WAILING].

[POLICE RADIO CHATTER].

[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]

[SIREN WAILING]

Oh, yeah.

How can a lady as
naughty as you walk into

a man's apartment like
somebody's governess?

I'm only naughty with you.

And I am someone's governess.
That's why I'm late.

My charge is going to
be whooping it up tonight.

How late?

1.30, maybe till 2.

I thought you'd be pleased.

[PHONE RINGING].

[PHONE RINGING].

Yeah, Cassidy here.

Mr. York?

Are you staying?

I'll try not to listen.

This is Augustine Pataki, lieutenant.

Here are the statements.

What's happening?

You're where?

How serious is it?

Very serious.

A very serious mistake.

I need a lawyer.
I must have a lawyer at once.

I will not stay in this
place, do you understand?

No, no, no, I cannot talk.
Now they're listening.

Yeah, well, I can't either, Augie.

Don't worry. Stay loose.
I'll take care of it.

Yeah, I'll take care of it tonight.

All right, baby.

I gotta go out.

But we've not time.

How about a rain check?

Cassidy, we are leaving
for France tomorrow morning.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Tonight is all we have.

Is your boss wearing her rocks tonight?

All right, when she comes in,
she's gonna be oiled to the gills.

It's gonna take her about
a half an hour to unload

those rocks and kiss
the brinksman goodnight.

And that'll give us at least until
2.30 to make up for lost time.

Hmm?

You are beautiful.

Tomorrow you can make--
-Rizzo! Open it up. -Later!

Look, sorry about the accommodations,
Augie, but you see, we're busy tonight.

-Have you got a line on Collins?

-He hasn't been seen since that
bank job in Jersey, Lieutenant.

What's the matter?
Doesn't your lawyer make house calls?

-You know when the guy was shot?
-He wants a lawyer.

Everybody wants a lawyer.
Okay, into my office.

The captain should be in on this.

How do you figure that?

A non-violent loner.

Probably hasn't done
three years in his whole life.

What's he doing being mixed
up with a hood like Collins?

Thanks.

(clattering).

(somber music).

(somber music)

(somber music)

(somber music).

(somber music)

(somber music).

(somber music)

(knocking)

-Who is it? -Cassidy.

-You hear what happened?
-Yeah, Augie's in jail.

The cops busted him stealing the truck.

(chuckles)

(music).

Oh. (chuckles).

Poor baby. Did the cops do that to you?

Stupid creep can't even rip off a truck.

We were set up. There were cops--
Whatever, whatever. You blew it.

I told you there were
cops all over the place!

Shut up! Shut up!

You think Pataki will talk?

No, not if we get him out.

What are they gonna hold him for?

Anything they can.

Grand loss in the auto, burglary,
possession of dangerous weapons.

Maybe attempted murder.

-Dummy. -You started shit.

Come on, Harry, take it easy.

At least he got away.
There's no way to tie Pataki to you.

Yeah, I don't know about that.

It's very convenient, all these cops
showing up at one place at one time.

Maybe they know something we don't.

If they knew something,
they'd be here right now.

Don't worry, I'll take care of Pataki.

And we'll let nobody
near him, only his lawyer.

A lawyer, huh?

And what does a lawyer look like?

(laughs).

You know, York, you're crazy.

But if you can pull it off,
we can hit it this weekend.

I mean, the painters are off then, too.

No, no, Harry, not this weekend.

There's a half a million dollars in
jewels leaving for France tomorrow.

Tonight, just like we planned
it-- Well, with a caper like this,

a lousy half a million
won't be that big a deal.

Harry, there ain't no such thing
as a lousy half a million, right?

So we go tonight?

What about the truck?

The truck?

The truck is still in the yard, right?

Wheel lock's off.

Well, why doesn't somebody steal it?

(sad music)

Yeah, why not?

I don't care if you have waivers or not.

Now, you let an unarmed civilian, a suspect,
participate in a felony wearing a wire?

How do you think that
makes the department look?

We just thought Pataki
was an important collar cap.

Now, when we found out
that Collins was involved,

we just felt that something
big was coming down.

That's why you're not
on suspension right now.

Who excused you?

All right, now, you two hot dogs,

you report here 7 o'clock sharp,
Monday morning, in uniform.

In uniform?

I need 18 more officers to march
in the St. Paddy's Day parade.

But I'm Jewish.

So was the mayor of Dublin.

Thank you for volunteering your services.

Out, out.

You're beautiful.

I ought to have you as the guest
lecturer in charm at the police academy.

Please.

Hey, Theo.

You know, if we do run into a press hassle,

it wouldn't hurt to say
we picked up Collins.

Mac, what about this?

Yes, you're a good driver, Hoffman.

You know, Jake, 246
for 200 is not infallible.

It might be wise to have a standby car.

246 for 200?

Now, what does that mean to you?

246 for 200, I...

246 for 200...

Maybe odds or code.

It's not infallible. What is it infallible?

People, plans?

Nothing's infallible.

What if it's not a word?

Maybe another number, the number four.

Two, three, four, five...

Seven digits.

A telephone number.

Two, six, four, two, zero, zero.

Uh-huh.

Dial a prayer.

That's infallible.

246 for 200.

Maybe it has something to do with a truck.

License plate, registration.

What do you want with
a paint truck, anyway?

Who says they needed a paint truck?

Maybe they just wanted a truck, any truck.

Oh.

Was that truck searched?

Well, I looked inside.

Sit down there and comb it over.

What am I looking for?

I don't know. Maybe this.

Can I help you?

Yes, I represent Augustine Pataki.

Lieutenant.

I'm Lieutenant Kojak.

Bring Pataki into my office.

How you doing, Cassidy York?

I understand my client has a problem.

Do you mind telling me
what the charges are?

Mm-hmm.

You haven't been up here before, Mr. York?

That's not exactly my line.

Most of my work is corporate.

Well, I trust you're up on
your criminal law, Mr. York.

I have a lot of questions for your client.

I think it's safe to say
he'll make no statements.

What are you doing here?

I asked for a lawyer,
not some kind of joke.

I had to find out what's going on.

We can't have anybody else involved now.

How do I get out?

I'll raise the bail myself as
soon as I know what they got.

This is what they have got.

They had a wire on young Juan.

Oh, yeah?

What did they hear?

I think not too much.

They said very little.

But they do know that Jake mentioned
Mr. Collins, only by name, nothing else.

But they want to know my connection.

All right, then we're safe.

You're safe, not me.

If you go on with the job while I'm in
here, I'll be the only one left to blame.

Come on, Pataki, calm down, huh?

We're not gonna do anything without you.

Why should we?

You brought Collins in, right?

You set the whole thing up.

And I talked to Collins.

We're not gonna do
anything until you get out.

Then we go ahead.

Then you jump in and we skip the country.

We got new names, we got new places.

And we got plenty of money.

We got maybe $10 million.

So what's the problem?

All right.

All right.

It's beautiful.

[♪♪♪]

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

[HONKING]

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER].

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

Crocker, Manhattan South.

Oh, yeah, precinct
said to look out for you.

I've got to get back
in the yard, all right?

Okay, there's a police lock on the gate.

I'm gonna have to open it for you.

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

Hey, look out!

[GLASS SHATTERING]

Police! Hold it!

[GUNSHOTS]

[♪♪♪]

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

Thompson, where's the call box?

Two blocks from the right.

[♪♪♪].

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Good evening.

I'm gonna turn this safe deposit room open.

I've got some bonds that
I want to leave around.

Well, normally at 8 A.M., Mr. York,

but we won't lock up tonight until Mrs.
Tilden returns.

Oh, that's very good.

That's right.

The old girl is having her
diamonds again tonight.

Miss Linker mentioned
she might be going out.

Yes, sir.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪].

Everything all right, Mr. York?

Fine.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪]

Go ahead, 723.

723, respond into 1031 with units.

Obitsky's Industrial Painters.

Estimated time of arrival, two minutes.

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪]

Well, forget that they wanted any truck.

They wanted that
particular truck like crazy.

Yeah, but for what?

Well, they know it'll report it
started in the morning, right?

So whatever it was for
was coming down tonight.

Here.
Put out an all-points alarm on that truck,

and in the meantime, I'll
go talk to our friendly burglar.

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪]

[phone ringing].

Hey, aren't you forgetting
who sweet this is?

I dragged the bell hoppin' to
tell me when your boss gets back.

Hello.

York?
- Yeah.

Everything's okay so far, but
there's no sign of the old dame yet.

Mm-hmm.

Well, take it easy.

Um, be patient.

Patient?

Look, it's almost 2 o'clock, and
that thing's ready to blow at 2.30.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, what do we do while we wait?

Mm, why don't you try painting?

[chuckles]

Chatty bell hop, your boss isn't back yet.

Come here, baby.

Oh, yeah.

So what do we do?

Paint.

Oh, I do want to thank
you for coming in tonight.

Oh, yeah, well, Mr. Obitsky
likes to, uh, give good service.

Yes, well, we are very happy
with the work, believe me.

Except, well, last night,

one of your men dripped paint
all over an irreplaceable chair.

Well, that's why we switched crews.

My guys are real careful.

Look, Mac, you got a
good look at Pataki's lawyer.

You buy him?

Well, he look like a lawyer.

But he hasn't sprung his boy
as fast as you thought, is that it?

He's got a hunch he wants
Pataki right where he's at.

Your friends must have
really wanted that paint truck.

No questions, please, lieutenant.

Oh, no questions, just information for you.

They went back to the yard and
ripped off the truck less than an hour ago.

Augie, I think you've been dumped, baby.

Now you help us get Collins, I'll do
what I can to see you walk away clean.

I want my lawyer, now!

Stavros!

Joe!

You're the man of phone, huh?

I'd like to talk to your lawyer myself.

Why, what about?

246 for 200.

All right, you, come on.

Let's see if we can
find that legal directory.

I'd like to look up a Cassidy York.

(door closes).

Boys, all I want is my trundle bed.

Why me, I ask?

Did you have a nice evening, Mrs. Tilden?

I had a hell of a good time.

We've kept the safe deposit vault open.

Well, you can shut it right up.

Look, I'm too tired to
get out of this rig tonight.

Besides, we're leaving in the morning,
they have to be packed anyway.

But, Mrs. Tilden, the hotel is responsible.

Well, I'll take the responsibility.

But just don't worry, don't worry.

Now, you fellas, you fellas
did a right fine job, thank you.

Why don't you come back in the morning
and take us to the airport safely, hmm?

Oh, it's all right.

It's all right, there's nobody around
here but bellhops and painters.

Bye, fellas! Ha-ha!

Ha-ha! Go on, go on.

Hurry up, you old broad, we've
got less than ten minutes left.

See you in the morning.

Good night.

Close the vault.

( music playing ).

( music playing ).

( music playing )

( music playing ).

( music playing )

Hey, you're gonna have to direct
the people who come to the door.

See, we're working here, okay?

Yes, sir. Ringing.

I'm sorry, sir, Mr. Yerkes'
room still doesn't answer.

Would you care to leave a message?

No, no, no message.

Hey, give-- give me Miss Linker.

Yes, yes, I will hold.

( phone ringing ).

Mrs. Tilden, Swede.

I'm sorry, Mr. York just left.

- Who is this? - Nobody.

Look, if you tell me why you're
calling him, I can send a car.

And, uh, for Miss Linker, too.

I don't have to tell you, Lieutenant.

And I can keep on trying
to reach him until I get him.

That is my right.

I don't think you understand, Augie.

I mean, I want you to find him.

I want to ask him why he's not
listed in the New York bar directory.

Stavros!

- Yes, sir.
- Let him out again in 15 minutes.

( footsteps )

Pritchett finally tracked down
the painting contractor, Obitsky,

who leased his wife.
He's been at a union meeting.

What, at 2.30 in the morning?

Well, she says he's
been hitting the sauce

in a couple of the bars.
I've got some guys looking for him.

All right, if they find
him, you bring him in.

( music playing )

( explosion ).

All right, everybody.

I want you to look at me.

That's right, this is a robbery.

Now, I know you're frightened
and surprised, but you

do exactly as you're told,
and nobody will be hurt.

If no calls go out, the
switchboard is broken, right?

And I'll listen to everything coming in.

( music playing )

Put your hands on your heads.

We're gonna tape you up one at a time.

The rest of you, keep
your hands on your heads!

( music playing )

Shop is ripe in real old-fashioned.

- How easy do you think they'll pop?
- Like cheese.

( music playing )

Bingo.

You got about an hour,
then a place to be crawling

with cooks and chambermaids.

246 has got to leave for 200 before then.

Right.

( music playing )

Alphonse Hotel, good morning.

Good morning.

Make sure you put this
where people can see it. Move.

( music playing )

- Here, Augie, what is it?
- I called you 15 minutes ago.

That's very fast sleeping.

- I'll be with the lady. - Yes, I'll bet.

The police told me that the paint truck
was stolen after I was arrested tonight.

- Is this line safe? - I don't know.

Augie, if you wanted to steal a truck,
tonight would be the night to do it, right?

I mean, if we wait for tomorrow, they
might have bigger gates and meaner dogs.

( knocking )

So don't you see what
they're trying to do to you?

They know you're alone and you're cut
off and they're trying to capitalize on it.

Augie, I was gonna
give you a big surprise,

but I guess I'm gonna
have to tell you now.

There's a lawyer.
His name is William Everett Esquire.

He's gonna show up there
in about an hour with a writ.

He says the wire in Ramirez
is gonna get you out clean.

He said that? Within an hour?

That's good. That's very, very good.

He's got silver tongue
on the telephone right now.

This guy may not be a
lawyer, but he ought to be.

What do you got?

They're bringing in
the contract, Obitski.

He's airtight.
He's been with 500 guys all night.

Look at that.

We got a big beef coming
down, probably right now,

and two suspects chatting
about it on a police telephone.

Hey, it's a bad night
for the good guys, baby.

So all you gotta do is sit tight.
You're gonna be sprung in one hour.

You go back home and I'll call
you first thing in the morning.

Right.

I hope you don't ever
try a con like that on me.

What are you talking about, Harry?
I told him the truth. I got him a lawyer.

I don't wanna cut him out.

He's the guy who's gonna keep
us from getting stiff by the fences.

He's got the best connections.

Besides, I like him.

Why didn't you tell him
about the hit tonight?

Because he's scared.

That lieutenant is smart enough
to push him over the edge.

That girl you've been seeing
is gonna find out about you.

What do you mean?

The old dame took her
rocks up to her suite.

You can get me in without
shooting up the joint.

Right.

Okay.

Let's go.

Mr. Obitsky, maybe you could
tell us why anyone would want

one of your trucks bad
enough to go to all this trouble.

Hal, most of those trucks
are ready for the boneyard.

Wait a minute, Mr. Obitsky.
You're an industrial

painter, right? You do
banks, that sort of thing?

Banks, supermarkets, department stores.

At night?

Mostly.

They don't like us spilling
paint all over the customers.

But tonight your guys are off
because of a union meeting.

That could be it. They hit one of
Obitsky's nightshops while everybody's off.

What do you think?

Sure. They dress up like
painters and the truck gets them in.

Mr. Obitsky, how many nightshops
are you working on right now?

I don't know. Maybe 11, 12.

I'd have to call my foreman.

Oh, yeah. Be my guest.

Right here.

I better get the troops ready, huh?

Right.

Yes?

It's me, Valerie. I gotta see you.

[knocking]

Valerie, take it easy.

I want to make sure she's paying attention.

All right, miss, where does
she keep the diamonds?

On her dresser.

Hold on a minute. Keep her quiet.

Oh, my God.

[dramatic music]

Unless you got a bulletproof vest on,
I'll leave that stuff right where it is.

Hey!

No!

Take it easy!

All right, grab the stuff
and take her downstairs.

You stay there!

I'm sorry, but you're
gonna have to come, too.

Come on.

Huh? That's it?

Okay. Stick around the phone, Mike. Thanks.

14 night jobs.
I'm doing better than I thought.

Hey, well, some of these we can forget.

The dog pound, the
bookstore, the subway, the Y.

Massage parlor?

We don't discriminate.

Okay, that still leaves a
bunch of hittable places.

A jewelry store, a department store,
a bank, two banks, hotel. Which one?

The Alphonse. Very picky people.

I don't know how we're gonna
check these out in time, Theo.

We haven't got time.

Pawn shops, art gallery.
These valuable paintings?

I don't know from painting.

Crocker!

Now, put your leg up there.

This is the kind of paint
they had in the truck.

Frozen sunburst yellow. Very classy color.

We're doing the Alphonse in it.

Hey!
You'll never get it out of those pants!

(music ends).

(music plays).

(music continues).

(music continues).

(music continues)

(music ends)

(music plays).

If we get any more, we'll
have to start stacking them.

Just make sure I'm on top.

You got it.

Hurry up. We gotta get out of here.

Okay, kid, I'm pulling the plug.

It's fantastic, Harry.
There's gotta be millions.

Okay.
Now go on outside and check the streets.

Right.

(music plays)

Police! Hold it!

Posture in the position!

(music plays)

Pops!

Ah, mystery guest.

Ah, Kumba.

Pops! Pops!

Hold it! Police! Stop!

Are you guys in the back yet?

We're in the kitchen. There's a
lot of people in here all tied up.

We spotted a couple of
guys out toward the front.

All right, this is Lieutenant Kojak.
All stations, move in.

Come on.

I'm the manager. Be careful.
Don't break anything.

All right, they're still in here.

You know how to do it?
East side, West Side, all around the town.

Come on. Let's get it on.

How bad is it?

The well ran dry.
Now how much you figure they kept in there?

No idea. I mean, we don't ask.

It's a red bag. How'd they carry it out?

It was in a laundry
hamper, almost full, and

then I saw them push
it into the elevator.

Well, did it go up or down?

Well, of course I'm insured,
but I want my rocks back.

Now that stuff's still here.
They didn't have time to get it out.

Hold it!

All right, cuff him.

800 guests.

Yes, many of them aren't here.

They have other homes in Palm
Beach or the south of France.

You're blind.

You got a lot of heavy names here.

We'll have to track them down to
find out what they kept in those boxes.

If they know themselves.

That's the Cassidy York.

Here we are. Suite 246.

246?

Yes.

246.

- Crocker? - Yeah, over here.

Oh, Lieutenant.

Oh. Cut it out, will you, Cassidy?

I mean, that sleepgate
didn't even work with Pataki.

All right, check it out, Crocker.

Lieutenant, aren't you
supposed to have a warrant?

I'm not moving the place under arrest.

Oh, yeah? What for?

What for? What for?

What for? For impersonating a lawyer.

Come on, Kojak.
Most lawyers impersonate lawyers.

Well, it's good enough to
get you down to my store.

Besides that, when Pataki sees you
walking in with the rest of the creeps...

you're gonna tell us all about it.

Nothing. I don't see anything.

Well, you take the patrolman
out there and go check 200.

246, 4200.

Yeah.

What do you know about 200, Cassidy?

You passed 200 going by the elevator.

Why don't you go put on some threads?

(laughing)

(laughing)

(laughing).

(dramatic music).

You got a name, pal?

Come on. Let's go.

So that accounts for both of them, Captain.

Good. Very good.

They pulled two of them
out of the, uh, hallways.

Stavros nabbed him
making a break in the kitchen.

No sign of Collins.

Nada. They found a laundry
hamper in the stairwell.

The bag, removed.

Did you get anything else on those numbers?

No. 200 is occupied by a retired
admiral and his, uh-- and his dog.

Uh, that's a beagle not a broad, huh?

All right, get out in the street.

Here. Follow me.

Lieutenant, you're gonna have a lot of
proving to do before the sketch in the court.

Identification will be tough.

People will lie about what they lost.

And you don't have a
single thing to tie me into it.

You know something? You really
should have been embarrassed, though.

Lieutenant, they spotted a guy going in
the apartment house across the street.

Saperstein thinks it's Collins.

It is a present for him.

Lieutenant, I spotted Collins at
the window on the second floor.

He's at the top of the
stairs on the right side.

All right, stay put. Okay.

So why don't you cover
the side entrance, huh?

Collins?

This is Lieutenant Kojak.

One way or another, you're coming out.

What's it gonna be?

Tear gas and shotguns?

Or cops' conversation and
congratulations make up your mind?

There's no one dead yet, Collins.

Okay, get up against the banister.

Go get him.

[Music]

[Laughing].

What's up, Theo?

We got it, Mac. Now, look.

246 for 200.

Now, this is York Suite right over there.

That's 246.

And...

And that's Collins' apartment, number 200.

Now, what they did was put the
cable behind the banners, right?

Put the laundry bag onto a pulley...

and zip, heading for Collins' apartment.

Only... they didn't make it.

[Laughing]

You know, Theo... you used
to look very good in a uniform.

You're not gonna put me in
another one of your parades, are you?

Come on, I'm a super cop.
I'm only out for big busts.

And besides, I'm not Irish.
I don't even look Irish.

Huh? Do I?

Nobody'll ever notice.

[Groans].

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