Klovn (2005–2021): Season 4, Episode 6 - Jarlens død - full transcript
Jarl Friis Mikkelsen dies and everybody is heartbroken. Frank decides to take the responsibility for the funeral, but problems with Jarls death location, a psychiatrist and a pair of bowling shoes threatens to ruin the beautiful ceremony.
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---
THE DEATH OF JARL
Come on, Christensen.
Yeah...
- What do you think of that?
- Your turn, Peter.
Didn't he say we were going out
for a good time?
- Are we done soon, Frank?
- Don't they have air-conditioning?
- I think it's on already.
- Jarl is sweating, and people stare.
- It's not relaxing.
- You asked me to arrange something.
- It's not exactly what...
- Steak and Bowl in Valby.
- No...
- Not good enough.
- Bend your knees, he says.
- He's almost lying down.
- I'm doing it right, but...
- You've got a nice... bowling body.
- What do you mean, Jarl?
- You have elegant style.
- Alright, Jarl!
- Yes!
Not bad, Jarl.
Are you okay? Jarl? Jarl?
Jarl! Jarl!
I think he's dead.
- Jarl!
- Get an ambulance!
We need an ambulance!
Jarl is dead!
He was actually beautiful,
lying there on the floor.
- He's a handsome man.
- I've never noticed that.
- Oh yes.
- He was a bit of a sleaze.
But he looked good,
lying there all peacefully.
I'm going to help out a bit
with the funeral.
I feel responsible.
The others are crushed with grief.
- Can I help you?
- I'd like this one, please.
Casper is really upset.
He's devastated.
- Really?
- Hello.
Please come with me. We need
to clear out a misunderstanding.
- What misunderstanding?
- It seems...
This is Johan.
Close the east entrance.
A woman in a white jacket
needs to be taken to the office.
Sit down.
We caught you stealing
on the surveillance camera.
I'd like you to get out the items.
It seems you didn't pay
for these things.
And that one as well?
Right. Do you admit
to having stolen these items?
- Yes.
- Yes.
I'd like to see some picture ID
and your national medical card.
Right. If you would sign
down there in that box.
You're not welcome
here in Illum any longer.
What's going on in your head?
Well, I couldn't help myself...
But on that level!
You've done it several times.
And the things you steal
are complete junk.
- I know.
- You need to get some help.
- I know.
- You need to get some help.
We... well...
- You need to talk to someone.
- I don't need that.
Yes, a psychologist or something.
I can't talk about those things.
- Don't tell anyone about this.
- About your pilfering?
- And about the psychologist.
- Okay, I won't say anything.
- Is that clear?
- Yes.
- I don't know what to say.
- Just start with "hello".
- We were there when it happened.
- It was quite dramatic.
- What actually happened?
- Well...
- He made a strike and dropped dead.
- What were you doing in Big Bowl?
The problem is
that it wouldn't be right -
- to let this be Jarl's epitath.
Dying in Big Bowl.
We need to link Jarl to something
else. Not Steak, Big Bowl or Valby.
It's not his style.
We, his friends, need to find
another death location for Jarl.
It's no good, the Steak and
whatever the hell it was called...
- We need a new death location.
- Couldn't he just have died here?
- People would think he was lonely.
- How about a restaurant?
- Ketchup?
- It reeks of Asschenfeldt.
- We need something upmarket.
- What's that place in Bredgade?
- Umami?
- Yes.
Great restaurant.
- I'll go and sort it out.
- Casper will take care of Umami.
That was item one.
Jarl's death location.
Item two is the opening of the will.
We've got Jarl's lawyer here.
Jes M?ller.
Thank you.
The deceased set up a will
with the notary on October 6, 2004.
Everyone present here is
mentioned in the will, except Frank.
As Frank is not in the will,
I must enquire -
- whether the people present
can accept Frank's attendance -
- during the reading of the will.
Do you mind Frank being here?
No, that's fine.
You can stay, Frank.
The will set up
by Jarl Friis-Mikkelsen -
- contains a donation of 1 million
kroner to The Danish Cancer Society.
- Way to go, Jarl.
- That's great.
Then there are a number
of object donations.
Ole Bornedal
gets Jarl's own paintings.
Peter Gravesen gets Jarl's
1962 Mercedes Convertible.
Michael Car?e gets Dean Martin's
suits and two Cohen lithographs.
Casper Christensen gets
the rights to "The Goofy Brothers" -
- and "Walter & Carlo in America".
Bent Fabricius-Bjerre gets
Jeremy Irons' private diary.
Crown Prince Frederik gets
the g lasses from the Russian Czar.
Remee gets
the Bayliner and the berth.
And Michael Meyerheim gets
the DVD rights for "The Red Cow".
That's fine.
I think you should run the meeting.
- Me?
- I'm not part of this at all.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Can I help?
- I've got an appointment.
- What's your name?
- Mia.
Sit down.
It'll only be a few minutes.
I'd like to meet up with Casper
and then come back and get you.
- Yes.
- We're so busy with the funeral.
- Mia?
- Yes.
- Welcome. I'm Marie.
- I just want to ask...
Is it something you can
be cured of? Pilfering?
- I'll talk to Mia about it.
- Okay. I've got some errands.
Take care, honey.
Good luck.
- That's what made Jarl interesting.
- His stinginess?
No. He was very selective
and a bit of a mystic.
I liked that about him, actually.
- Hi, Casper.
- Thanks for last time.
- Hi, Casper.
- Thanks for last time.
- Peter.
- Frank.
- What happened?
- We...
Frank had arranged a bowling night
in Steak and... what was it?
- Big Bowl in Valby.
- Steak and Big Bowl in Valby.
Big Bowl.
Just Big Bowl.
Big Bowl. And then
Jarl scored a strike and died.
We need to find a location -
- where we can claim
that Jarl died.
Jarl's regular table
was number 51.
Table 51. Right...
- We can take a look around.
- Yes.
- It could be in the toilets.
- I don't want that.
If we say he died in here
it has to be before he ate.
- But we need to decide on a menu.
- He ordered, and then he died.
Schmeichel usually sits here.
He likes to be close to the exit.
- So Schmeichel is there...
- The Crown Prince couple sit there.
- That's their favourite spot.
- Here?
It's to do with the bodyguards
as well. Having them close by.
Table 51, Peter.
We'll go for that.
There's the omakase menu.
It means "from the heart".
That's beautiful.
He dies of a heart attack -
- after having ordered
a heart menu.
It means "from the heart",
so it's the chef's own selection.
- Let's settle on the champagne.
- The champagne is settled.
- White wine? Bourgogne?
- How about the Montrachet?
Choose the Pouilly-Fume.
He drank a lot of that.
- But Montrachet...
- That's a classic.
- What's the time?
- What are you saying?
Is it two o'clock?
I need to go.
- You can't leave, Frank.
- I'm picking up Mia.
- What's she doing?
- She...
- She started taking singing lessons.
- Singing?
- Why?
- She's thinking of pursuing it.
- In the tea shop?
- No... Making a career out of it.
Professionally.
I think it sounds crazy as well.
Hi.
I'm here to pick up my girlfriend.
I'm just waiting for my wife as well.
- Hello again, Poul.
- Hi.
- Come in. Are you feeling better?
- Yes, a bit.
- Let's do that.
- I really enjoyed it.
That's good.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- See you.
- Thank you so much.
- Take care.
- Thank you.
- Bastard.
- What?
- Are you coming?
- What?
- Are you coming?
- Yes.
I said to Casper that
you were taking singing lessons.
He asked where you were.
I don't want you telling
anybody about this, Frank.
- Right?
- No, I'm not telling.
What did you talk
to the psychologist about?
Lots of things.
Well, she seemed a bit...
She seemed a bit angry with me.
She said that...
That you might be stopping me
from expressing myself.
- From expressing yourself?
- That's what she says.
As a thief?
Hi.
What's that?
A bill for Jarl's bowling shoes.
- Why?
- Because I arranged the bowling.
- Oh...
- And he was wearing the shoes.
When they took his body away.
Why..?
I'm not paying for this.
Oh, stop it.
Just pay the bill.
I'm not in the will,
and now I'm paying for his shoes.
There's nothing strange
about you not being in the will.
We need to find those shoes.
Maybe they're at the hospital.
You're going too far
with those bowling shoes.
That's just my opinion.
Show me another suit.
So far all I've seen has been crap.
- Do you use metal hangers?
- It's from the dry cleaner's.
You need to use other hangers.
Show me those trousers.
Why do you have to look nice
for a funeral? The guy's dead.
- Do you have a jacket for this?
- It's here. That would look good.
See? That's because of the hanger.
You need to stop that right now.
I have to call Peter from Umami.
I'm not sure about the table.
I can't work out if 51
is the right table. Hi, Peter.
- Mia...
- Hi, Iben.
Goodbye, Jarl.
Right. Shall we?
- Have a glass, everybody.
- Thanks.
Hi, Poul Erik.
Thank you for last time.
It was nice.
Yes...
Is anything missing? Peter looked
unhappy. Is it the cheese buffet?
- This is so hard.
- Is there not enough cheese?
Jarl hated cheese,
so I'm not having any cheese.
Honey? I'll just look around
for those bowling shoes.
- Why?
- Just a quick round.
I'm sorry.
Right.
Dear friends. We're gathered
here to say goodbye to a big man.
Perhaps the biggest of them all:
Jarl Simon Friis-Mikkelsen.
It's rare for a man to become
a legend in his own time.
Jarl did.
Everyone knew his talent, -
- as seen in "Walter and Carlo"
or in his more serious roles.
Not to forget his status on TV
as a modern-day Otto Leisner.
As we all know,
Jarl died at table 51 at Umami.
He had just ordered
omakase with kobe meat, -
- accompanied by a '97 Montrachet.
Unfortunately,
he never got to taste the wine.
Jarl, you will be missed.
A sun is setting,
a man is alone, -
- never forgetting,
the only one.
Dear Jarl. Goodbye.
It has been decided
that we should sing, -
- and the chosen hymn
is "The Leaves Are Falling".
I know that Mia is currently
taking singing lessons, -
- so what better opportunity
than this to let you sing for us.
"The Leaves Are Falling".
If you stand here. That's it.
Thank you, Mia.
Where is his watch?
His watch is gone.
No, he's wearing it, Peter.
I certainly hope so.
What the hell..?
Excuse me. Can I have
your attention for a moment?
Does anyone know
where Jarl's Cartier watch is?
- What did you say?
- I'm asking about his watch.
- He's wearing it.
- Was he wearing it?
- He's not wearing it now.
- Is it gone?
It's not on his arm.
Jarl was always wearing that watch!
- Could it be up the sleeve?
- What a load of rubbish, Mia.
Jarl was always wearing that watch, -
- and now it's gone.
Did anyone take it?
Frank, what were you looking for?
You were rummaging in his stuff.
- In Jarl's stuff?
- I was looking for something.
Is it because
you didn't inherit anything?
No. I was looking for...
I was looking for...
... the bowling shoes. He forgot
to hand in some bowling shoes.
No, he didn't.
Jarl doesn't have bowling shoes.
The ones he wore at Umami.
Jarl never bowled in his life.
Why are you looking
for bowling shoes, then?
Poul Erik has got mental problems.
He's seeing a psychologist.
- Honestly...
- It's true.
What the hell's going on?
Someone stole Jarl's watch.
Who would do such a thing?
I'd like to know that.
- Did you do it, honey?
- No, of course not.
By accident?
No.
Where is your bag?
Stop accusing me
of such a thing.
Mia didn't take it.
We forgot to hand these in.
I got a bill for them.
Could you throw it out, please?
- Yes, that's fine.
- Thanks.
By the way, we found Jarl's watch.
Could you take care of it?
- Well... Yes, of course.
- Thank you.
---
THE DEATH OF JARL
Come on, Christensen.
Yeah...
- What do you think of that?
- Your turn, Peter.
Didn't he say we were going out
for a good time?
- Are we done soon, Frank?
- Don't they have air-conditioning?
- I think it's on already.
- Jarl is sweating, and people stare.
- It's not relaxing.
- You asked me to arrange something.
- It's not exactly what...
- Steak and Bowl in Valby.
- No...
- Not good enough.
- Bend your knees, he says.
- He's almost lying down.
- I'm doing it right, but...
- You've got a nice... bowling body.
- What do you mean, Jarl?
- You have elegant style.
- Alright, Jarl!
- Yes!
Not bad, Jarl.
Are you okay? Jarl? Jarl?
Jarl! Jarl!
I think he's dead.
- Jarl!
- Get an ambulance!
We need an ambulance!
Jarl is dead!
He was actually beautiful,
lying there on the floor.
- He's a handsome man.
- I've never noticed that.
- Oh yes.
- He was a bit of a sleaze.
But he looked good,
lying there all peacefully.
I'm going to help out a bit
with the funeral.
I feel responsible.
The others are crushed with grief.
- Can I help you?
- I'd like this one, please.
Casper is really upset.
He's devastated.
- Really?
- Hello.
Please come with me. We need
to clear out a misunderstanding.
- What misunderstanding?
- It seems...
This is Johan.
Close the east entrance.
A woman in a white jacket
needs to be taken to the office.
Sit down.
We caught you stealing
on the surveillance camera.
I'd like you to get out the items.
It seems you didn't pay
for these things.
And that one as well?
Right. Do you admit
to having stolen these items?
- Yes.
- Yes.
I'd like to see some picture ID
and your national medical card.
Right. If you would sign
down there in that box.
You're not welcome
here in Illum any longer.
What's going on in your head?
Well, I couldn't help myself...
But on that level!
You've done it several times.
And the things you steal
are complete junk.
- I know.
- You need to get some help.
- I know.
- You need to get some help.
We... well...
- You need to talk to someone.
- I don't need that.
Yes, a psychologist or something.
I can't talk about those things.
- Don't tell anyone about this.
- About your pilfering?
- And about the psychologist.
- Okay, I won't say anything.
- Is that clear?
- Yes.
- I don't know what to say.
- Just start with "hello".
- We were there when it happened.
- It was quite dramatic.
- What actually happened?
- Well...
- He made a strike and dropped dead.
- What were you doing in Big Bowl?
The problem is
that it wouldn't be right -
- to let this be Jarl's epitath.
Dying in Big Bowl.
We need to link Jarl to something
else. Not Steak, Big Bowl or Valby.
It's not his style.
We, his friends, need to find
another death location for Jarl.
It's no good, the Steak and
whatever the hell it was called...
- We need a new death location.
- Couldn't he just have died here?
- People would think he was lonely.
- How about a restaurant?
- Ketchup?
- It reeks of Asschenfeldt.
- We need something upmarket.
- What's that place in Bredgade?
- Umami?
- Yes.
Great restaurant.
- I'll go and sort it out.
- Casper will take care of Umami.
That was item one.
Jarl's death location.
Item two is the opening of the will.
We've got Jarl's lawyer here.
Jes M?ller.
Thank you.
The deceased set up a will
with the notary on October 6, 2004.
Everyone present here is
mentioned in the will, except Frank.
As Frank is not in the will,
I must enquire -
- whether the people present
can accept Frank's attendance -
- during the reading of the will.
Do you mind Frank being here?
No, that's fine.
You can stay, Frank.
The will set up
by Jarl Friis-Mikkelsen -
- contains a donation of 1 million
kroner to The Danish Cancer Society.
- Way to go, Jarl.
- That's great.
Then there are a number
of object donations.
Ole Bornedal
gets Jarl's own paintings.
Peter Gravesen gets Jarl's
1962 Mercedes Convertible.
Michael Car?e gets Dean Martin's
suits and two Cohen lithographs.
Casper Christensen gets
the rights to "The Goofy Brothers" -
- and "Walter & Carlo in America".
Bent Fabricius-Bjerre gets
Jeremy Irons' private diary.
Crown Prince Frederik gets
the g lasses from the Russian Czar.
Remee gets
the Bayliner and the berth.
And Michael Meyerheim gets
the DVD rights for "The Red Cow".
That's fine.
I think you should run the meeting.
- Me?
- I'm not part of this at all.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Can I help?
- I've got an appointment.
- What's your name?
- Mia.
Sit down.
It'll only be a few minutes.
I'd like to meet up with Casper
and then come back and get you.
- Yes.
- We're so busy with the funeral.
- Mia?
- Yes.
- Welcome. I'm Marie.
- I just want to ask...
Is it something you can
be cured of? Pilfering?
- I'll talk to Mia about it.
- Okay. I've got some errands.
Take care, honey.
Good luck.
- That's what made Jarl interesting.
- His stinginess?
No. He was very selective
and a bit of a mystic.
I liked that about him, actually.
- Hi, Casper.
- Thanks for last time.
- Hi, Casper.
- Thanks for last time.
- Peter.
- Frank.
- What happened?
- We...
Frank had arranged a bowling night
in Steak and... what was it?
- Big Bowl in Valby.
- Steak and Big Bowl in Valby.
Big Bowl.
Just Big Bowl.
Big Bowl. And then
Jarl scored a strike and died.
We need to find a location -
- where we can claim
that Jarl died.
Jarl's regular table
was number 51.
Table 51. Right...
- We can take a look around.
- Yes.
- It could be in the toilets.
- I don't want that.
If we say he died in here
it has to be before he ate.
- But we need to decide on a menu.
- He ordered, and then he died.
Schmeichel usually sits here.
He likes to be close to the exit.
- So Schmeichel is there...
- The Crown Prince couple sit there.
- That's their favourite spot.
- Here?
It's to do with the bodyguards
as well. Having them close by.
Table 51, Peter.
We'll go for that.
There's the omakase menu.
It means "from the heart".
That's beautiful.
He dies of a heart attack -
- after having ordered
a heart menu.
It means "from the heart",
so it's the chef's own selection.
- Let's settle on the champagne.
- The champagne is settled.
- White wine? Bourgogne?
- How about the Montrachet?
Choose the Pouilly-Fume.
He drank a lot of that.
- But Montrachet...
- That's a classic.
- What's the time?
- What are you saying?
Is it two o'clock?
I need to go.
- You can't leave, Frank.
- I'm picking up Mia.
- What's she doing?
- She...
- She started taking singing lessons.
- Singing?
- Why?
- She's thinking of pursuing it.
- In the tea shop?
- No... Making a career out of it.
Professionally.
I think it sounds crazy as well.
Hi.
I'm here to pick up my girlfriend.
I'm just waiting for my wife as well.
- Hello again, Poul.
- Hi.
- Come in. Are you feeling better?
- Yes, a bit.
- Let's do that.
- I really enjoyed it.
That's good.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- See you.
- Thank you so much.
- Take care.
- Thank you.
- Bastard.
- What?
- Are you coming?
- What?
- Are you coming?
- Yes.
I said to Casper that
you were taking singing lessons.
He asked where you were.
I don't want you telling
anybody about this, Frank.
- Right?
- No, I'm not telling.
What did you talk
to the psychologist about?
Lots of things.
Well, she seemed a bit...
She seemed a bit angry with me.
She said that...
That you might be stopping me
from expressing myself.
- From expressing yourself?
- That's what she says.
As a thief?
Hi.
What's that?
A bill for Jarl's bowling shoes.
- Why?
- Because I arranged the bowling.
- Oh...
- And he was wearing the shoes.
When they took his body away.
Why..?
I'm not paying for this.
Oh, stop it.
Just pay the bill.
I'm not in the will,
and now I'm paying for his shoes.
There's nothing strange
about you not being in the will.
We need to find those shoes.
Maybe they're at the hospital.
You're going too far
with those bowling shoes.
That's just my opinion.
Show me another suit.
So far all I've seen has been crap.
- Do you use metal hangers?
- It's from the dry cleaner's.
You need to use other hangers.
Show me those trousers.
Why do you have to look nice
for a funeral? The guy's dead.
- Do you have a jacket for this?
- It's here. That would look good.
See? That's because of the hanger.
You need to stop that right now.
I have to call Peter from Umami.
I'm not sure about the table.
I can't work out if 51
is the right table. Hi, Peter.
- Mia...
- Hi, Iben.
Goodbye, Jarl.
Right. Shall we?
- Have a glass, everybody.
- Thanks.
Hi, Poul Erik.
Thank you for last time.
It was nice.
Yes...
Is anything missing? Peter looked
unhappy. Is it the cheese buffet?
- This is so hard.
- Is there not enough cheese?
Jarl hated cheese,
so I'm not having any cheese.
Honey? I'll just look around
for those bowling shoes.
- Why?
- Just a quick round.
I'm sorry.
Right.
Dear friends. We're gathered
here to say goodbye to a big man.
Perhaps the biggest of them all:
Jarl Simon Friis-Mikkelsen.
It's rare for a man to become
a legend in his own time.
Jarl did.
Everyone knew his talent, -
- as seen in "Walter and Carlo"
or in his more serious roles.
Not to forget his status on TV
as a modern-day Otto Leisner.
As we all know,
Jarl died at table 51 at Umami.
He had just ordered
omakase with kobe meat, -
- accompanied by a '97 Montrachet.
Unfortunately,
he never got to taste the wine.
Jarl, you will be missed.
A sun is setting,
a man is alone, -
- never forgetting,
the only one.
Dear Jarl. Goodbye.
It has been decided
that we should sing, -
- and the chosen hymn
is "The Leaves Are Falling".
I know that Mia is currently
taking singing lessons, -
- so what better opportunity
than this to let you sing for us.
"The Leaves Are Falling".
If you stand here. That's it.
Thank you, Mia.
Where is his watch?
His watch is gone.
No, he's wearing it, Peter.
I certainly hope so.
What the hell..?
Excuse me. Can I have
your attention for a moment?
Does anyone know
where Jarl's Cartier watch is?
- What did you say?
- I'm asking about his watch.
- He's wearing it.
- Was he wearing it?
- He's not wearing it now.
- Is it gone?
It's not on his arm.
Jarl was always wearing that watch!
- Could it be up the sleeve?
- What a load of rubbish, Mia.
Jarl was always wearing that watch, -
- and now it's gone.
Did anyone take it?
Frank, what were you looking for?
You were rummaging in his stuff.
- In Jarl's stuff?
- I was looking for something.
Is it because
you didn't inherit anything?
No. I was looking for...
I was looking for...
... the bowling shoes. He forgot
to hand in some bowling shoes.
No, he didn't.
Jarl doesn't have bowling shoes.
The ones he wore at Umami.
Jarl never bowled in his life.
Why are you looking
for bowling shoes, then?
Poul Erik has got mental problems.
He's seeing a psychologist.
- Honestly...
- It's true.
What the hell's going on?
Someone stole Jarl's watch.
Who would do such a thing?
I'd like to know that.
- Did you do it, honey?
- No, of course not.
By accident?
No.
Where is your bag?
Stop accusing me
of such a thing.
Mia didn't take it.
We forgot to hand these in.
I got a bill for them.
Could you throw it out, please?
- Yes, that's fine.
- Thanks.
By the way, we found Jarl's watch.
Could you take care of it?
- Well... Yes, of course.
- Thank you.