Klovn (2005–2021): Season 4, Episode 1 - Unge hjerter - full transcript
Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
YOUNG HEARTS
They could have put up
some flowers or something.
- Hi, Andreas.
- Hi.
- Hi. Nice of you to come.
- We made it.
Is she in there now?
- Is she in there now?
- Yes. It's exciting.
She needs a C to get into
business language school.
It went really bad.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Didn't it go well?
- Intestinal functions.
- Didn't it go well?
- No, it didn't.
- I don't think it went well.
- Aren't you just being..?
Wait and see, Julie.
Well. The digestive system
is a difficult subject.
You did well on the metabolism
of food in the mouth.
But you got a bit lost
in the intestinal system.
Vitamin B-12 is not absorbed in the
small intestine, but in the duodenum.
We're giving you a D.
D plus.
- Excuse me.
- Congratulations.
Vitamin B-12 is absorbed
in the small intestine.
The rule of thumb is:
B-12, duodenum.
No, that's wrong, you see.
It's called the "duodenum",
because it's 12 fingers wide.
That's right.
The gall bladder duct
leads to the duodenum.
Vitamin B-12 is absorbed
in the small intestine.
That's just one example.
It doesn't affect the mark.
- But it's a mistake.
- I think we should give Julie a C.
Alright. You'll get a C.
- You finished your A-levels.
- Congratulations, Julie.
- I'll put this on you now.
- Big moment.
Well done.
- And to think that Frank..?
- You saved me, Frank.
Well, I happened to hear it,
so I had to say something.
- Hi there. Frank.
- Marie.
- That was great, eh, Julie?
- I'm all... I'm so relieved.
- Are we going out for a bite?
- Yes, let's do that.
- What do you say?
- Come on.
- Have you just finished as well?
- Yes.
Cool. I was a natural science
student myself.
- What do you call it these days?
- Mathematical or linguistic.
- But it's being changed now.
- Frank?
Are you coming?
Take care
and have a great party.
It was nice to meet you.
I was talking, honey.
Frank, I'm not too sure
about those perennials.
- I'm on the loo, honey.
- We could go for the geraniums.
- Because if...
- No, honey. I'm on the loo.
No, go out. Go out, please.
Sorry.
- If we buy geraniums...
- Alright.
If we go to the nursery on Friday
we could plant them in the weekend.
- And have it done.
- Super. Let's do that.
But should we get it all?
If we get the clematis as well -
- I'm not sure it'll fit in the car.
Shall we do that, then?
Hold on. Hold on.
We'll probably need
some peat as well.
Or could we use the soil as it is?
Frank? Do you think we could?
Hello?
- Could I please have some privacy?
- It would be nice if you took part.
I'd like to. But I don't want to talk
about it through the toilet door.
Let's go down
and discuss it, then.
- We'd like a flower bed over here.
- That's a good idea.
- Rhododendron or that sort of thing.
- And have some hornets.
Do you know honeysuckles?
- Do you like the wine?
- They grow up against the fence.
- Are you talking garden, girls?
- We haven't cut the lawn yet.
Then you could look out
at the nice flowers, I thought.
- Cheers. And congratulations.
- On your lovely home.
Yes, cheers.
Frank said no to Amnesty.
We were going to be DJ's.
- Aren't you free that day?
- Yes.
I'm saying no out of principle.
I want to do things that I'm good at.
You were asked to help victims
of torture by using your fame.
The stereo is there, and they
put the albums on for you.
- You don't have to do anything.
- I've explained that to him.
It's not vinyl anymore, you know.
If you don't know anything
about music you shouldn't be a DJ.
A mutilated man in El Salvador -
- doesn't care whether you can
distinguish between folk or Abba.
Your vanity decides whether
you want to be good or evil.
- Therefore you choose to be evil.
- No.
Would you like to stay for dinner?
- What are we having?
- That's not polite.
I'm not eating anything
that's been defrosted.
I met these three
wonderful A-level students.
I was just so incredibly...
... horny.
Could I just pop in to Amnesty?
I promised to look at a poster.
Two minutes, then.
- Hi there.
- Hi. Great of you to come.
Hi, Frank. It's great that
you're going to come as well.
- Come..?
- To the DJ event.
- I said no, actually.
- Are you busy that day?
No, but I'd like to use myself
in a different way.
I'd like to contribute
with something professional.
- That's your decision, Frank.
- Do you want to help? He doesn't.
Do you want to come
and see the draft for the poster?
- Hello.
- Hi.
- I've got an appointment.
- Yes, okay.
Just sit down. That's what
the rest of us have done.
I'm from Sudan... Darfur.
I've been tortured.
I was in jail for five weeks.
They burned my eyes.
They beat me every sing le day.
They burned my legs.
I cannot work now.
I need some help.
Yes. You better talk to someone
from Amnesty, then.
- Don't you work here?
- No, I don't.
- What are you doing here, then?
- I'm just hanging out.
- Hanging out?
- Waiting for my friend.
I didn't realise
you were a victim of torture.
- I thought you were a DJ.
- A DJ?
You need to talk to someone
who knows about these things.
I think someone down the hall
knows about it.
- Over there?
- I'm pointing in that direction.
I was afraid
he was going to start howling.
One of his eyes was watery,
and the other one didn't work.
- He had been tortured.
- Hi, Frank.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What a coincidence.
- What are you doing here?
We've been to a meeting
at Amnesty.
- This is Casper.
- Hi there. Casper.
I met the girls
at the A-level exams yesterday.
Cousin Andreas' daughter, Julie,
finished her exams.
- Have you done the horse carriage?
- No, it's tomorrow.
We're going to Frederiksberg Park
now. Do you want to come?
- We could buy some beers.
- I'll pay.
- They've graduated, Frank.
- Yes, that calls for a celebration.
Let's go.
- Hold on to me.
- Next stop, Frederiksberg Park.
- Yes...
- I'm speeding up now.
Stop it...
Shall we go in here?
Watch out for the bump.
Run!
The one that the bottle
points at should... Malou?
... kiss... Who? Me.
Where? On the mouth.
Damn it.
There are so many herons
in Frederiksberg Park.
- Could you make it fly?
- Yes, I guess so.
Look at its legs.
Cheers.
- How come you know about intestines?
- I've had an ostomy.
So have I.
Do you?
I only tell people
who also have it.
- Do you have the bag now?
- Yes. Here.
How long have you had yours?
- For four years.
- I got mine last year.
I don't think
I'll ever get used to it.
Have you got used to yours?
- Yes, I think so.
- Not many people have it.
No.
Maybe we should
go back to the others.
Before things go wrong,
you know.
Frank, we're going
to a pool party on Friday.
Malou invited us.
- Isn't that the Amnesty day?
- Fuck that. It's a pool party.
We have to go. You said
you wanted to see me in shorts.
Hi.
Hi, honey.
- Where are you?
- In the basement.
- What are you doing?
- Looking in some boxes.
Could you get the d igging done before
we're going to the nursery on Friday?
- On Friday?
- I asked you this morning.
While I was on the loo?
I didn't hear that.
- I said it quite loud.
- I thought it was a suggestion.
- I'm doing something else.
- What?
I'm going to...
... do that Amnesty thing.
- I didn't think you wanted to.
- Yes, I do.
- Did you say yes?
- Yes, I did.
That's great.
Hi there. Come on in.
Hi. What the hell?
God, you look stupid.
I better put mine on as well, then.
- Mr. Student. Are you ready?
- You look great.
What about a drink?
Yes, but the girls are coming
to pick us up now.
- I thought we were taking a cab?
- I told them to come here.
- That's not very good.
- Why? Is Mia home?
No, but we've got neighbours,
you know.
Shut up. Neighbours lie.
I can't get hold of them now.
- Let's go down to the corner.
- It's three girls on bike.
It's crazy to meet 17-year-old
girls in your own home.
Especially when you've got a wife.
I'm going for Lotte.
You were doing well
with Marie... or Maria.
- What was her name?
- Marie. She's got an ostomy bag.
She's had an ostomy.
She defecates into a little bag.
- Why?
- She probably had some disease.
I don't get it.
She shits out of where?
She poos out of her stomach.
I'm definitely going for Lotte now.
Cheers!
Get into the carriage!
Frank, get up.
Yeah, alright.
Hey, hey, hey!
Cheers!
Cheers!
Yes, Frank's having beer
having beer, having beer
Yes, Frank's having beer...
Cheers!
3B, 3B.
- Hi, honey.
- What are you doing up there?
- We're going to a party.
- What about Amnesty?
It was cancelled.
They're really nice.
I like those.
See you, Poopsie.
Was that Mia?
Cheers!
We went to Falkoner
3B from Falkoner...
3B! Okay!
Watch your back.
Hi.
- Hi, hi. I'm Casper.
- Christian.
I told you about Frank, remember.
- They're going to play some records.
- Your daughter invited us.
We're going to play some records.
Isn't it nice that they're
going to play for us?
Do you know the quote
by Mick Jagger?
He said : "After you turn 18
it's all downhill from there."
Today he's over 60.
Have a think about that.
You've been working really hard.
Do you know the quote by Goethe?
"Vom Himmel hoch Herzen
zum Tode betr?bt. "
It hasn't always been easy,
but you've pulled through.
The price has been three years
of blood, sweat and tears, -
- but you've won the future.
Let's drink to that.
Cheers.
If I may end with a quote...
It's been a tough spring.
It's been a stolen spring, as
Nikolaj Scherfig wrote in his book.
It was Hans Scherfig.
Sorry for interrupting.
It was Hans Scherfig.
- What? No, Nikolaj Scherfig.
- He wrote "Jesus and Josephine".
- Who is that?
- Do you want to show us the DVD?
Okay, yes.
I thought his name was Nikolaj...
Way to go, Frank.
I'll skip that quote, then.
Congratulations, well done.
And long live Nikolaj Scherfig.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
3B!
Come on!
What's up?
Pool party!
Alright, Christensen.
Oh no.
Are you okay, Marie?
There's shit in the water!
Get up!
Get up! Quick!
Damn, that's disgusting.
Get up.
There's shit in the water.
Did the bag break?
It could be your ostomy bag as well.
I don't have any, actually.
Damn it...
- Frank, there's shit everywhere.
- I know.
I played a joke on her.
No, you're full of shit...
I'd like to go home.
Right...
Enjoy the party.
Hi, honey.
Hi.
You're not asleep yet.
- No.
- Okay.
I came home early.
It wasn't that much fun.
Are you having a good time?
I'm just reading.
I like the flowers you bought.
Yes.
Have you found out
where to plant them?
- I've already done it.
- You've planted them?
Have you just done that..?
Great, honey.
I've got to see that.
Down by the garden table
or what?
Wow! They look fantastic.
They really do, honey.
Mia?
Please come in.
You'll wake up the neighbours.
- Get in.
- Yes.
- Is it marigolds?
- Marigolds?
- No, Frank, it's geraniums.
- Okay. I see.
We'll have these three, please.
It's Queen Ingrid.
They're 38 kroner each.
---
YOUNG HEARTS
They could have put up
some flowers or something.
- Hi, Andreas.
- Hi.
- Hi. Nice of you to come.
- We made it.
Is she in there now?
- Is she in there now?
- Yes. It's exciting.
She needs a C to get into
business language school.
It went really bad.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Didn't it go well?
- Intestinal functions.
- Didn't it go well?
- No, it didn't.
- I don't think it went well.
- Aren't you just being..?
Wait and see, Julie.
Well. The digestive system
is a difficult subject.
You did well on the metabolism
of food in the mouth.
But you got a bit lost
in the intestinal system.
Vitamin B-12 is not absorbed in the
small intestine, but in the duodenum.
We're giving you a D.
D plus.
- Excuse me.
- Congratulations.
Vitamin B-12 is absorbed
in the small intestine.
The rule of thumb is:
B-12, duodenum.
No, that's wrong, you see.
It's called the "duodenum",
because it's 12 fingers wide.
That's right.
The gall bladder duct
leads to the duodenum.
Vitamin B-12 is absorbed
in the small intestine.
That's just one example.
It doesn't affect the mark.
- But it's a mistake.
- I think we should give Julie a C.
Alright. You'll get a C.
- You finished your A-levels.
- Congratulations, Julie.
- I'll put this on you now.
- Big moment.
Well done.
- And to think that Frank..?
- You saved me, Frank.
Well, I happened to hear it,
so I had to say something.
- Hi there. Frank.
- Marie.
- That was great, eh, Julie?
- I'm all... I'm so relieved.
- Are we going out for a bite?
- Yes, let's do that.
- What do you say?
- Come on.
- Have you just finished as well?
- Yes.
Cool. I was a natural science
student myself.
- What do you call it these days?
- Mathematical or linguistic.
- But it's being changed now.
- Frank?
Are you coming?
Take care
and have a great party.
It was nice to meet you.
I was talking, honey.
Frank, I'm not too sure
about those perennials.
- I'm on the loo, honey.
- We could go for the geraniums.
- Because if...
- No, honey. I'm on the loo.
No, go out. Go out, please.
Sorry.
- If we buy geraniums...
- Alright.
If we go to the nursery on Friday
we could plant them in the weekend.
- And have it done.
- Super. Let's do that.
But should we get it all?
If we get the clematis as well -
- I'm not sure it'll fit in the car.
Shall we do that, then?
Hold on. Hold on.
We'll probably need
some peat as well.
Or could we use the soil as it is?
Frank? Do you think we could?
Hello?
- Could I please have some privacy?
- It would be nice if you took part.
I'd like to. But I don't want to talk
about it through the toilet door.
Let's go down
and discuss it, then.
- We'd like a flower bed over here.
- That's a good idea.
- Rhododendron or that sort of thing.
- And have some hornets.
Do you know honeysuckles?
- Do you like the wine?
- They grow up against the fence.
- Are you talking garden, girls?
- We haven't cut the lawn yet.
Then you could look out
at the nice flowers, I thought.
- Cheers. And congratulations.
- On your lovely home.
Yes, cheers.
Frank said no to Amnesty.
We were going to be DJ's.
- Aren't you free that day?
- Yes.
I'm saying no out of principle.
I want to do things that I'm good at.
You were asked to help victims
of torture by using your fame.
The stereo is there, and they
put the albums on for you.
- You don't have to do anything.
- I've explained that to him.
It's not vinyl anymore, you know.
If you don't know anything
about music you shouldn't be a DJ.
A mutilated man in El Salvador -
- doesn't care whether you can
distinguish between folk or Abba.
Your vanity decides whether
you want to be good or evil.
- Therefore you choose to be evil.
- No.
Would you like to stay for dinner?
- What are we having?
- That's not polite.
I'm not eating anything
that's been defrosted.
I met these three
wonderful A-level students.
I was just so incredibly...
... horny.
Could I just pop in to Amnesty?
I promised to look at a poster.
Two minutes, then.
- Hi there.
- Hi. Great of you to come.
Hi, Frank. It's great that
you're going to come as well.
- Come..?
- To the DJ event.
- I said no, actually.
- Are you busy that day?
No, but I'd like to use myself
in a different way.
I'd like to contribute
with something professional.
- That's your decision, Frank.
- Do you want to help? He doesn't.
Do you want to come
and see the draft for the poster?
- Hello.
- Hi.
- I've got an appointment.
- Yes, okay.
Just sit down. That's what
the rest of us have done.
I'm from Sudan... Darfur.
I've been tortured.
I was in jail for five weeks.
They burned my eyes.
They beat me every sing le day.
They burned my legs.
I cannot work now.
I need some help.
Yes. You better talk to someone
from Amnesty, then.
- Don't you work here?
- No, I don't.
- What are you doing here, then?
- I'm just hanging out.
- Hanging out?
- Waiting for my friend.
I didn't realise
you were a victim of torture.
- I thought you were a DJ.
- A DJ?
You need to talk to someone
who knows about these things.
I think someone down the hall
knows about it.
- Over there?
- I'm pointing in that direction.
I was afraid
he was going to start howling.
One of his eyes was watery,
and the other one didn't work.
- He had been tortured.
- Hi, Frank.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What a coincidence.
- What are you doing here?
We've been to a meeting
at Amnesty.
- This is Casper.
- Hi there. Casper.
I met the girls
at the A-level exams yesterday.
Cousin Andreas' daughter, Julie,
finished her exams.
- Have you done the horse carriage?
- No, it's tomorrow.
We're going to Frederiksberg Park
now. Do you want to come?
- We could buy some beers.
- I'll pay.
- They've graduated, Frank.
- Yes, that calls for a celebration.
Let's go.
- Hold on to me.
- Next stop, Frederiksberg Park.
- Yes...
- I'm speeding up now.
Stop it...
Shall we go in here?
Watch out for the bump.
Run!
The one that the bottle
points at should... Malou?
... kiss... Who? Me.
Where? On the mouth.
Damn it.
There are so many herons
in Frederiksberg Park.
- Could you make it fly?
- Yes, I guess so.
Look at its legs.
Cheers.
- How come you know about intestines?
- I've had an ostomy.
So have I.
Do you?
I only tell people
who also have it.
- Do you have the bag now?
- Yes. Here.
How long have you had yours?
- For four years.
- I got mine last year.
I don't think
I'll ever get used to it.
Have you got used to yours?
- Yes, I think so.
- Not many people have it.
No.
Maybe we should
go back to the others.
Before things go wrong,
you know.
Frank, we're going
to a pool party on Friday.
Malou invited us.
- Isn't that the Amnesty day?
- Fuck that. It's a pool party.
We have to go. You said
you wanted to see me in shorts.
Hi.
Hi, honey.
- Where are you?
- In the basement.
- What are you doing?
- Looking in some boxes.
Could you get the d igging done before
we're going to the nursery on Friday?
- On Friday?
- I asked you this morning.
While I was on the loo?
I didn't hear that.
- I said it quite loud.
- I thought it was a suggestion.
- I'm doing something else.
- What?
I'm going to...
... do that Amnesty thing.
- I didn't think you wanted to.
- Yes, I do.
- Did you say yes?
- Yes, I did.
That's great.
Hi there. Come on in.
Hi. What the hell?
God, you look stupid.
I better put mine on as well, then.
- Mr. Student. Are you ready?
- You look great.
What about a drink?
Yes, but the girls are coming
to pick us up now.
- I thought we were taking a cab?
- I told them to come here.
- That's not very good.
- Why? Is Mia home?
No, but we've got neighbours,
you know.
Shut up. Neighbours lie.
I can't get hold of them now.
- Let's go down to the corner.
- It's three girls on bike.
It's crazy to meet 17-year-old
girls in your own home.
Especially when you've got a wife.
I'm going for Lotte.
You were doing well
with Marie... or Maria.
- What was her name?
- Marie. She's got an ostomy bag.
She's had an ostomy.
She defecates into a little bag.
- Why?
- She probably had some disease.
I don't get it.
She shits out of where?
She poos out of her stomach.
I'm definitely going for Lotte now.
Cheers!
Get into the carriage!
Frank, get up.
Yeah, alright.
Hey, hey, hey!
Cheers!
Cheers!
Yes, Frank's having beer
having beer, having beer
Yes, Frank's having beer...
Cheers!
3B, 3B.
- Hi, honey.
- What are you doing up there?
- We're going to a party.
- What about Amnesty?
It was cancelled.
They're really nice.
I like those.
See you, Poopsie.
Was that Mia?
Cheers!
We went to Falkoner
3B from Falkoner...
3B! Okay!
Watch your back.
Hi.
- Hi, hi. I'm Casper.
- Christian.
I told you about Frank, remember.
- They're going to play some records.
- Your daughter invited us.
We're going to play some records.
Isn't it nice that they're
going to play for us?
Do you know the quote
by Mick Jagger?
He said : "After you turn 18
it's all downhill from there."
Today he's over 60.
Have a think about that.
You've been working really hard.
Do you know the quote by Goethe?
"Vom Himmel hoch Herzen
zum Tode betr?bt. "
It hasn't always been easy,
but you've pulled through.
The price has been three years
of blood, sweat and tears, -
- but you've won the future.
Let's drink to that.
Cheers.
If I may end with a quote...
It's been a tough spring.
It's been a stolen spring, as
Nikolaj Scherfig wrote in his book.
It was Hans Scherfig.
Sorry for interrupting.
It was Hans Scherfig.
- What? No, Nikolaj Scherfig.
- He wrote "Jesus and Josephine".
- Who is that?
- Do you want to show us the DVD?
Okay, yes.
I thought his name was Nikolaj...
Way to go, Frank.
I'll skip that quote, then.
Congratulations, well done.
And long live Nikolaj Scherfig.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
3B!
Come on!
What's up?
Pool party!
Alright, Christensen.
Oh no.
Are you okay, Marie?
There's shit in the water!
Get up!
Get up! Quick!
Damn, that's disgusting.
Get up.
There's shit in the water.
Did the bag break?
It could be your ostomy bag as well.
I don't have any, actually.
Damn it...
- Frank, there's shit everywhere.
- I know.
I played a joke on her.
No, you're full of shit...
I'd like to go home.
Right...
Enjoy the party.
Hi, honey.
Hi.
You're not asleep yet.
- No.
- Okay.
I came home early.
It wasn't that much fun.
Are you having a good time?
I'm just reading.
I like the flowers you bought.
Yes.
Have you found out
where to plant them?
- I've already done it.
- You've planted them?
Have you just done that..?
Great, honey.
I've got to see that.
Down by the garden table
or what?
Wow! They look fantastic.
They really do, honey.
Mia?
Please come in.
You'll wake up the neighbours.
- Get in.
- Yes.
- Is it marigolds?
- Marigolds?
- No, Frank, it's geraniums.
- Okay. I see.
We'll have these three, please.
It's Queen Ingrid.
They're 38 kroner each.