Kitchen Nightmares (2007–2014): Season 5, Episode 6 - Greek at the Harbor - full transcript
Mickey achieved the American dream, opening Greek at the Harbor, and prospering, but in recent years the quality of the food has dropped as much as the clientèle. Now, unless Ramsay can help, things are looking more like a Greek tragedy.
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- [Gordon Voiceover] My
mission this week,
The Fish and Anchor.
Owners Mike and Caron are
a couple at war.
- And he wouldn't let me finish!
- Look, you're doing it again.
- [Caron] Fuck off.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Their rows are legendary.
- Fuck off.
No, I haven't got a bloody
Oscar, I'm not being sworn at!
- [Gordon Voiceover] They're
driving the locals away.
- Out.
- What I've heard, he's a
bit of a tosser.
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm
turning marriage counsellor.
- You can't run around like
fucking Shrek in a frock,
you've got to have some
form of control.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Otherwise,
this restaurant will
self-destruct.
- Ding, ding, round fucking two.
(knives swishing)
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Lampeter, a tranquil hamlet
in West Wales's
glorious countryside.
A perfect setting for a
traditional, rustic restaurant.
- I mean, it's a
dream for any chef
to have a restaurant here.
Phenomenal pastures,
amazing land.
Great support with the locals.
But to try and
understand the fuckers,
is a completely
different nightmare.
- [Instructor] Hello, and
welcome to teach yourself Welsh.
(speaks in foreign language)
- [Translator] Teach
yourself Welsh.
- [Instructor] And
remember to speak out loud.
(speaks foreign language)
- [Instructor] Six.
(speaks foreign language)
Cunter.
- Cunter.
- [Instructor] First.
(speaks foreign language)
Dim.
- Dim.
- [Instructor] No.
- I feel fucking dim.
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] In
this green and pleasant land
lies The Fish and Anchor.
A few years back,
ex-boxer Mike Timinera
won 700 grand on the pools.
It's allowed him to swap
his fish and chip shop
for the pursuit of his
culinary dream.
- I'd like to set a goal of
just achieving something.
Be it, like, you know,
just get one Michelin star.
You know, they put a man on
the moon with no technology.
If you can put a man on
the moon, a Michelin star
don't sound a very big
thing to achieve, does it?
- [Gordon Voiceover] Mike's
got a plan to make the step up
from the fat fryer to
cooking haute cuisine,
nicking recipes from
cookbooks used in the home,
including mine.
(whistling)
Gordon Ramsay's book there,
Sunday Lunch.
Rick Stein's book,
Gordon Ramsay here again.
I'd like to try and
recreate them
or put my own slant on
a lot of them
Very simply turn them
into something
really special and exciting.
- [Gordon Voiceover] But there's
a problem in this Italian
stallion's plan for
culinary world domination.
Mike and wife Caron, who
runs the front of house,
just don't see eye to eye.
- Try to run up a hill
with a ball and chain
around your leg.
You know, it's holding you
back, slowing you down.
- He is very critical of
me, and I don't know why
because I do my job and
I do my job bloody well.
- You're supposed to
work with me.
I want you to work with me.
- I am working with you,
you frigging dork.
- Yeah, but you.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Married for 22 years
the couple's arguments
are notorious locally.
Mike and Caron have even got
into trouble with the law
for rowing in public.
- Arsehole!
- We were having a row
and Caron's in my face
so I just pushed her out
of the way, you know.
- Yeah, so I shoved him
back and I screamed back
and I give you a shove as well.
Two-handedly.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
These two don't just row
with each other, they also
row with the customers.
It makes for a
stinking reputation
and no one's coming here to eat.
Haemorrhaging a grand a week,
this eatery's heading for
the big chopping
board in the sky.
- Oh, my god.
What is that down there?
That can't be it, can it?
You can't miss that one can you?
Unfortunately, the Germans did.
How are you buddy?
And this is Mike?
- Yeah.
- Mike who's in love with blue.
- Blue, yeah.
(laughs)
- Fuck me, you can't
miss it can you?
- No.
(laughs)
- How are you?
- All right thanks.
- Good, didn't realise
you were so short.
- Well.
- Short and powerful.
- Yeah.
- Hey, how are you?
- How are you?
- And this is?
- Caron, my wife.
- Caron, how are you?
- Very good.
- Nice to see you.
- And you.
- And are you in love
with blue as much as Mike?
- No.
- No.
- No.
- Thank fuck for that.
(laughs)
(upbeat music)
- Ronaldo, Zola, fuck me.
I didn't know sports bars
existed in the middle of Wales.
It's bright, it's ghastly
and, er, yeah, it's blue.
- [Gordon Voiceover] And
another addition to this
hall of fame is me.
- God.
- [Gordon Voiceover] A fish
recipe from one of my cookbooks
using monkfish is on
the menu board.
- It's quite eerie when
you see your own food
on somebody else's menu.
It's for the home cook at home,
not in a fucking restaurant.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
This menu's a mishmash
of cookbook recipes.
It's so vast, I'm
dizzy reading it.
- And I'll start with
the soup first
my darling, please, thank you.
- [Gordon Voiceover] First
off, a nod to the great
Georgia Lockatelly.
- [Gordon] Very chunky,
isn't it?
- [Caron] Yes.
Well, nice?
- Bloody hell, do you
interrogate all the customers?
- [Caron] I do.
- You do?
- [Caron] When, when they're
awkward ones, yes I do.
- Ah, no wonder
they've fucked off.
- [Caron] No wonder, well, well,
don't be awkward and
facetious then.
- That's the weirdest
looking Minestrone soup
I've ever seen.
- [Caron] He's being a twat.
- [Mike] Is he?
- [Caron] Yeah.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Next up, let's see how
my fish recipe stands up.
- It's got black bream with
a basil and pea bonne famme.
I've changed that, I
still use the bonne famme
but I roast fillet of monkfish.
- Shallots are raw.
Monkfish is actually
quite nice and roasted.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Finally,
a Madhur Jaffrey tribute.
That well-known Welsh classic,
a chicken korma curry.
- Looks like something out
of a fucking pig's trough.
- We had someone in,
they'd been to Claridges
run by Gordon Ramsay and they
thought that they enjoyed
their food here a lot more than
what they enjoyed it there.
- What the fuck is that?
Welsh snot.
Fuck me, we don't need to
see the dessert, do we?
Jesus.
Shit.
Happy to be here.
- [Mike] Yeah, yeah.
- Just arrived, sat down,
went through the menu.
You've got everything
and anything on there.
- Part of it comes from,
I see something
and I like the look of it, I
want to put it on the menu.
- [Gordon] But the menu
reads like a trophy shelf.
- Well, I know, it's got a--
- You've gone round and picked
up all these little bits of--
- [Mike] I know.
- Like a fucking magpie.
- [Mike] Yeah, yeah.
- Trophy, trophy, trophy.
Stick it on, stick it on,
stick it on.
- Yeah.
- I was really excited
about the fucking soup.
When the soup arrived,
it was just like a mush
of fucking vegetables.
A gunk, it was shocking.
The monkfish, even the
shallots were, like, raw, Mike,
they weren't even cooked,
so it was like a raw onion,
and then the biggest kick
in the bollocks
was the fucking curry,
that was shocking.
Was that Lloyd Grossman sauces?
- No, no.
- [Caron] Uncle Ben's.
- No, I use a sauce.
- [Gordon] Uncle Ben's?
- [Mike] Oh, yeah.
- But that's what hurts, it
causes more damage serving that.
I like your fucking passion,
that's clearly there,
but you're not a chef.
- No.
- And that menu's full of
your wish list.
- Yeah.
- Shite.
- Shite.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
With no customers,
it's obvious the Fish &
Anchor's reputation is bad.
Time to turn detective
to see just how bad.
- Fish & Anchor.
- [Gordon Voiceover] There
are clues in cyber-space,
recently posted reviews.
- The food has to be
the best I've ever eaten
home or abroad.
Here's another one.
I've been to Rick Stein's and
I've been to Gordon Ramsay's,
but to find a place
better than them
on my doorstep is a
dream come true.
Mike Burns.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Strange,
the reviews are good.
So good that there's
something fishy going on here.
- There's three reviews all
written by a guy called Mike.
He's been to Rick Stein's,
he's been to Gordon Ramsay's.
It's all a little bit
too familiar.
To find a better place
than them on my doorstep
is a dream come true.
That little fat fucker.
- Truthfully, okay, and you
don't fucking lie to me now,
nor you.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- Michael Burns, yeah?
I don't get excited about
food too often,
and having dined at Rick
Stein's and Gordon Ramsay's
I think I've found a better
restaurant in West Wales.
Long live the Fish & Anchor,
recommended, Mike Burns,
Afghanistan.
- Where?!
- That's, I don't, that's
Daniel's friend
done that, didn't he?
- Yeah.
- Mike, truthfully, yeah?
And I know the truth.
- Yeah.
- Which one of these three
did you post on there?
- This one.
- Thank you, why?
- Well, we just wanted to,
we, we spoke to someone
and they say people do these
things and time to time
get theirself noticed, and
that's, that's what we done.
- Can you blow torch them,
put some icing sugar on there,
fucking caramelise them or
put them in the fucking bin.
Thank you.
(knives shinking)
Professional cooking is a
much, much, much tougher job
than people like Mike think so.
You can't just go and nick
recipes from cookbooks
and hey presto, I'm a chef,
and then write your own
fucking reviews.
He's a sitting disaster
waiting to happen.
(lighthearted acoustic
guitar music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] Tonight,
I've press-ganged some
reluctant locals into
eating here.
I need to see how Mike
handles cooking
for a full restaurant.
- With such a large
menu like that,
it must be a nightmare, no?
- It is.
- [Gordon] Do customers
wait long for food?
- Not usually.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Mike's confident, I'm not.
His menu's made up of
cookbook recipes designed
for home cooks to
lovingly slave over.
But for one man to try
and cook them from scratch
for a restaurant is madness.
(energetic music)
The dishes are just too
complicated to be cooked
quickly.
Mike's running around
like a headless chicken.
- Ah, shit!
I'm doing it the hard way,
I know that.
- Fuck me, you're doing
it the hard way, uh?
What's clear right now,
Mike is obviously not a
fucking chef.
He should be cooking
for three or four tables
at the same time.
He's not, he's only
cooking for one,
so it's like watching
my mum at home
cooking for a dinner party.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Two hours into service
and the food's just
not getting out.
- We haven't ordered yet.
- No one's taken your order yet?
- [Both] No.
- [Gordon Voiceover] It's
like a famine.
Customers are staving off
hunger by eating bar snacks.
With an unworkable menu,
the service is spiralling
out of control.
The pressure's on this
husband and wife team,
and these two are going to war.
Mike's even got his own
Welsh battlecry for Caron.
- Ka, Ka!
Ha!
What's going on?
- [Caron] What do you
mean what's going on?
- These?
- [Caron] Well, what am I
supposed to do,
they've been there for
fucking hours.
- Ka!
These tables is booked in.
- Yeah.
- [Mike] It's
fucking ridiculous.
- Well, who's fault is that,
mine is it?
- [Gordon Voiceover]
This isn't a marriage,
it's a battlefield.
Their relationship needs
some serious fixing.
Outside, there's more
trouble brewing.
- So it's better for
them to sit there,
where they're more happier.
- Excuse me, we've been waiting
here since eight o'clock,
I'm going home, I
couldn't give a shit
about your crappy bloody pub,
it's an absolute load of shite,
we've got a 70 year old
bloody woman with us and,
and you haven't given us
a bloody shit.
And as for you..
Fuck me, does he hate
Gordon Ramsey's?
- [Customer] I'm going.
- Well, that's your prerogative,
I did apologise for the,
for the meal and that.
- Yeah, well that's not
good enough, I'm sorry.
- [Caron] But there's
no need to bloody swear
and shout in front of everybody.
- [Customer] Well, I'm
sorry, you're a load of crap.
- Yeah, well, don't
bother coming back.
- [Customer] I shan't,
don't you worry.
- [Caron] Good.
Bastard.
- [Gordon Voiceover] I can't
believe what I'm hearing.
There's no stopping this woman.
There's a
misunderstanding over an order,
Caron's going off on one again.
- I've been up since five
o'clock this morning.
- Yeah.
- I've come here
specially for this.
- I know you have.
- And I've got nothing for it.
- Well, who's fault is that?
It's not my fault.
You was the one that said
you was leaving.
- I didn't say I were leaving,
I said--
- You did say you was leaving.
- I said some parties of our
fucking thing are leaving.
- Right, now I want
you to leave now
because I don't want
to be sworn at,
I've had a titful tonight.
Now, if you want to
swear at me again,
you can leave right now.
- There you go, that's
your attitude.
- No, I haven't got a
bloody attitude,
I'm not being sworn at!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Excuse me.
Out.
Leave it.
Out.
Out.
- [Male Customer] I've
spent four fucking hours
waiting, fucking--
- Out.
Out.
Out.
Right?
Now, just get in
your car and go.
- Oh, dear.
This is a first for me.
I've never, ever seen a customer
chucked out of a restaurant
like that before.
That is fucking embarrassing,
and no wonder this place
is in serious trouble
because that was appalling.
What in the fuck have
I got myself into here?
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Hostilities have ceased
Almost half the customers
didn't get served tonight.
Mike and Caron have gone AWOL.
The only sense I can get
in this madhouse
is from a 17 year old
waitress, Anne Harrad.
- I knew he'd be like this.
- [Gordon] Why?
- Well, he just can't help it.
- [Gordon] No.
- He, he just--
- He talks a lot.
- He talks a lot, yeah, he
thinks he can do it but he
can't.
- And all the shouting,
that's not normal is it?
- Yes.
- It's always a battle.
- My god!
- [Anne] Honest to god.
- [Gordon] Tell me how
you're feeling?
- Pissed right off.
- [Gordon] Yep.
- I've had a titful, right?
- [Gordon] Yeah.
- And I couldn't give
two shiny shites
if there's a 150 people out
there waiting to get served.
- [Gordon] Caron?
- I feel as sick as a dog
because I've been threatened,
I've been called an old tart,
I've been called a
scrubber by customers.
I have never, ever, ever
had anybody talk to me
like that before.
- What went wrong tonight, Mike,
is that you did one
table at a time.
Twenty-one we cooked for and
you made it look like 201.
It's the transformation from
coming out of a cook to a chef.
And I can see where you
shot yourself in the foot,
the fucking menu.
If I was in here and asked
to cook this fucking menu
because you're on your
bed upstairs ill,
I wouldn't even attempt to
do what you did tonight.
One thing, okay, tomorrow,
even before I start
looking at the menu, okay?
The two of you.
It's like you're having a
fucking boxing match in here.
It's husband and wife, right?
That has to stop tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- I see it all the time when
customers are frustrated.
The customer's king, Caron, you
can't fucking row with them.
It spreads like wildfire.
Fuck me, welcome to Lampeter.
This is a fucking nightmare.
Turning that place around is
gonna take me a lot longer
than fucking 12
rounds I tell you.
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm
in Lampeter, West Wales,
at the Fish & Anchor.
Last night's service
was a disaster.
If things don't change, this
place is going down, period.
It's a reality check for
chef, owner Mike Timinera.
This ex-boxer's on the ropes.
(sheep bleating)
- It is gutting to know
that you're not
Really going in the
right direction.
I mean, we're
probably one step up
from a truck stop in
reality, that's glorified.
I'm still not gonna give up,
I'm still gonna keep going,
you know, but what my aim
to do now is to listen
what Gordon says and absorb it
all like, like a sponge if I,
as much of it as I can and
point it in the right direction,
just draw another deep breath
and come back out fighting.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Time
for a bit of tough love.
My opening shot in
helping Mike is to get rid
of his comfort blanket, those
cookbooks, including mine.
- Right, something that's
fucking destroying you in here,
you know that?
- Yeah.
- Something that is a big
problem in this kitchen,
these fucking things.
- Right.
- Great Recipes of The World.
Out.
Asian Cooking by Uncle Ben.
Sunday Lunch, not
interested in that.
Make It Easy, not
interested in that.
Rick Stein, Mediterranean,
not interested in that.
Come Play With Jamie,
not interested in that.
And Rick Stein's French Odyssey,
bang.
Get your coat, we're going
down to the charity shop
and we're gonna give
something back to Lampeter.
Readers Digest?
- I don't know where they come
from, they come from here.
- Oh, fucking hell,
don't tell me
you were going to give it up.
- We've had them, I've
had them for--
- Open the car door please.
- I've had them for 20 years.
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Everything I've seen,
points to Mike trying
to be someone he's not.
Mock reviews, using
other people's recipes.
To help him, I need to
find the real Mike,
starting with his
Italian heritage.
- [Gordon] Who's that
gentleman there?
- [Mike] That's my grandfather.
- Wow, er, Italian?
- [Mike] Yeah.
- [Gordon] Yeah, lovely.
From where?
- [Mike] From Naples.
- And?
- [Mike] And that's his
parents, my great-grandparents.
- Wow!
Again from Naples?
- [Mike] Again from Naples.
They, they were farmers,
just worked the land,
they were poor, put in
salt in it, a poor area.
- [Gordon] Wow, so it's quite
an Italian historic tree there.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- And that lady is?
- That's my grandmother.
Basically who I'd learnt to
do a lot of Italian cooking,
you know, basically that,
that's, that's who I am.
You know, we're, we're,
we're proud of it.
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] There's
been an Italian community
in West Wales for years.
Mike's passionate about
this heritage.
I plan to channel that
passion into his cooking
by making a classic
Italian dish.
My starting point, a nearby
organic vegetable farm.
- Peter, how are you?
- Very well.
- Good to see you well.
- Nice to see you, and you.
- Likewise.
- Hello.
- There's Mike.
- Hello Mike.
- How are you?
- Very well.
- Mike's from the Fish & Anchor.
- We need a good service
tonight, yeah, and we're going
to
come up with a dish that
can get some traffic through
the restaurant without becoming
too concentrated and stuck.
(gentle music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm
taking Mike back to his roots.
Here, they grow the
very tomatoes
he tasted when he was a kid.
- [Gordon] So, what
are they called?
- [Peter] These are
called San Marzano.
- [Gordon] San Marzano.
- [Peter] And they're
specifically for making sauces.
- Yeah.
When was the last time you
came picking tomatoes, Mike?
- On my grandparents
farm in Italy,
that's the last time I
picked tomatoes.
Really, which was how long ago?
- 30 years ago or more.
Oh, these are beautiful.
- This is like being in a
candy shop, uh?
Absolutely phenomenal,
look at it.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- Everywhere.
And the different variety--
- It's been many years since
I've tasted a tomato like that.
- [Gordon] Uh?
(gentle music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] It's
time for Mike to cook
from his heart and
not cookbooks.
His grandmother's recipe
for spaghetti and meatballs.
- [Gordon] Explain the
perfect meatball.
- Good minced meat.
- [Gordon] Yes, a
combination of beef and pork.
- [Mike] Thyme.
- Yeah.
- [Mike] Parsley.
- Yeah.
Proper colour.
- Garlic, chilli.
- [Gordon] Mm hmm.
- Parmesan cheese.
- Good.
Could you say it was
your grandmother
who inspired you how to cook?
Would you say that's
where it started?
- [Mike] Yes, yes.
- Yeah?
'Cause you're quite a
passionate little fucker
inside aren't you?
- [Mike] Yeah.
- Uh?
- Yes.
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Mike's not a chef yet.
He struggles cooking
for a full restaurant.
These meatballs are the
first step in helping him.
- Right, the emphasis of
tonight's service is what?
- [Mike] Is to get
the tables to--
- Speed.
- [Mike] Speed.
- Speed, yeah.
Speed, speed, speed.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Multiple
portions can be pre-prepared
and served up in a
matter of minutes.
- I don't care
whether you've got
ten booked or twenty booked
I don't want customers waiting
for that length of time again,
yeah?
(hands clap)
- Now I'm going to cook
from within myself.
Finding what's within myself
and put that on a plate.
- Do me a favour.
Rub off that shit fucking
Tikka Massala, Balti,
Korma crap fucking shit
off of there, yes.
All off, one big swipe.
There you go, bang!
Korma's off, yes?
What's your wife's name?
- Caron.
- Ah!
Ah!
Can you call her Caron tonight?
- [Mike] Caron.
- Yeah, no, but can you do it
in a really affectionate way
that you fucking love her?
- Yeah.
- As this is a husband
and wife team.
Because the minute you
two start fucking showing
some form of affection and
respect, everyone else follows.
Ah!
That was you grunting
like a troll,
looking for your
fucking spanner.
No, but, it, serious.
And I was standing there
like this thinking,
fucking hell, this guy's fucking
bonkers, what's he smoking?
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Tonight, I'm gonna show Mike
how meatballs speed up service.
This place looks like
a sports bar,
so I've invited the local
rugby club, 15 strapping lads,
and they're starving hungry.
- Are you on half term?
(customers laugh)
- [Customer] No.
- [Gordon] We get that 15 out,
yeah?
- [Mike] Right.
- That's over one third of the
dining room cooked for, okay?
Come on.
(claps hands)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
It's taken just minutes
to serve up the meatballs
to the rugby lads.
Job done.
- [Gordon] 15 gone, yes?
- [Mike] Yeah, right, 15 gone.
- We couldn't even get 12
starters out last night, yeah?
- Yeah, these are nice yeah,
spot on, nice and spicy.
Very good, I think.
- [Customer Mike] They
look like faggots.
- They're, er, they
look like faggots
but they taste like meatballs,
Mike.
It's called cuisine man.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
The kitchen's starting
to come together.
Out front, it's a
different story.
The restaurant's busy but
where's Caron?
- Sorry.
Be two seconds please,
sorry buddy, thank you.
You're not smoking, are you?
Yes or no?
- Yes.
- That's disgusting.
Come on Caron please, now, I
need everybody's help tonight.
Come on please.
- Right, okay.
- Yeah.
Ridiculous, come on.
He's busting his arse off
there, you're outside smoking.
Take the order of six, please.
- Now?
- Now.
- Well, he told me two minutes.
- Er, Caron, he told
you two minutes.
- Yes.
- But does that mean to
say you've got to go out
and smoke a cigarette?
- No, I didn't know.
- I thought you were
running the restaurant?
- I am.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Dear, oh, dear.
I'm not convinced with her.
This, for me, is someone taking
the piss like they're just
going out tonight for a
fucking game of bingo.
She's got to attack it,
run it and observe it.
But you can't disappear every
30 seconds for a cigarette,
for a cigarette.
What about customers arriving
and one of the owners
outside puffing away.
What kind of message is
that sending to anybody?
- [Gordon Voiceover] Caron's
standards are sloppy,
and it's showing.
Now there's confusion
over a table's order.
- One fricassee
One monkfish, three halibut.
- Two steaks.
- And two fillets.
- Yeah, let's count
this off shall we?
- Yeah.
- Two plus three is five.
- Yeah.
- Plus six.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Seven.
You're missing a main course.
We cooked exactly
what you wrote.
Can you go and ask the lady
what she ordered please,
urgently?
- So the man on the end?
(sizzling)
- Venison.
- Oh, come on.
One venison in
straightaway please.
Okay.
- [Mike] The last venison for--
- Okay, let me ask you
a question now, yeah,
without getting defensive
and running off in a strop.
- No I won't, no I won't.
- Why did you forget the
venison on the order?
- Because two people
ordered the venison
and then the both of them.
- You crossed it off?
- Yeah, but they, both
of them cancelled it
and then, and then it was a
halibut to go back on and then
he ordered the venison again
and I forgot to put it back on.
- Okay, yeah, you forgot
to write it on.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- Tomorrow.
- [Caron] Yes.
- We're having a lesson
in taking orders.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- Okay?
- [Caron] Fine.
- Don't get upset.
- [Caron] I'm not getting upset.
- We're in the shit,
we look stupid.
- [Caron] No you don't,
because I've just told
them it's my fault.
- No, let me, let me finish.
Let, listen, let me just finish.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- By the time the venison's
cooked and rested.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- The existing customers
around the table,
their fellow guests will
be on fucking dessert.
- [Caron] But--
- We as a unit look stupid.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- Please don't tell me
any different, because--
- [Caron] I'm not telling
you any different.
- Don't start shouting.
- I'm not shouting, but you--
- You'll run off in a
minute and start smoking.
- No I, no I won't, but
you're always in big,
you're always willing to give--
- Can you just concentrate?
- To give bloody screaming--
- So it's my fault now?
- It's not, your, I've
just told you it was,
I've just told them
it's my fault.
- We look stupid.
- Yes I do.
- We!
- But you, no you don't,
because I've just told them
it's my fault.
I've just told them what I've--
- You don't get it, do you?
- Yes I do!
- You don't get it.
- Oh, Gordon, you just love
to, that's all you've done
for the last two days,
you've said fuck all to him.
But, no, that's all it is,
is every time I come out here
I'm still not sure about you.
That's all you've
said all night.
- [Gordon] Are you
gonna run away now?
- No I'm not, I'm going
out to see my customers.
- [Gordon] Customers
can hear you.
Customers can hear you.
- Yeah, and they can
hear you as well.
- Is this what it's like?
She forgets to write a venison
and then shouts, and
screams, and runs off.
- [Mike] Yeah, well, I
have a go at her as well.
I have a go at you
when you do that.
- I've just gone out to my--
- [Gordon] Please stop
shouting and close the door.
- [Mike] And then you
scream at me so I--
- I've gone out.
- Close the door.
Let's stop the
embarrassment further.
- No, I'll talk to Mike.
- Oh, fuck off.
- I've gone out there.
- [Mike] I know what you
said, I heard what you said.
- I will fuck off.
- What I was trying
to say to her,
is there any way she
could recommend a meatball
that's cooked so we
can get it out quickly?
- Yeah.
- Rather than cooking
the venison.
- With having a chance
to get it out?
- Yeah, I can't even get a
fucking word in edgeways.
At eight o'clock this evening,
I'm sweating my bollocks off
trying to get this
place up to speed
and she's outside
having a cigarette.
- [Mike] Ka.
- Ding, ding, round fucking two.
- [Caron] You want him, get off
- [Mike] Get, shut up,
get it out.
What he was--
- [Caron] I am not being
told to fuck off.
- [Mike] Shut your mouth
and listen to me.
You're doing the same,
you're not listening to me,
same as you don't listen to him.
- [Caron] I told him it
was my fault.
- You're, see, you're doing
it now, you're doing it now.
You're doing it now.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- You're not letting me finish
like you wouldn't
let him finish.
- And he wouldn't let me finish.
- Look, you're doing it again.
You're doing it again.
What he was gonna say
after he finished
telling you what you'd done.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- The next thing he was going
to say is, I'll tell you what,
why don't you try and get to
sell him the last meatballs
to get it out for the night.
But you didn't give it
a chance, because, bang,
you was there down the
throat again.
Now, I'd like you to get
behind the bar
where you should be and get
Jane out from behind there
because she's not allowed
behind there, right?
Stop.
- [Caron] Don't expect me
back tomorrow.
Fuck off.
- [Mike] Just get it done.
- [Caron] Fuck off.
- No, just get it done.
You can't take it Kazzie,
can you?
- No, I can take it but I don't
like being told to fuck off.
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
venison finally gets served.
- I'm deeply concerned.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- For the shouting
and screaming.
You're screwing the business,
and the quicker you learn
to control your temper.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- The quicker you're
gonna run your business.
For the better.
Let me finish, okay?
- Oh! But I'm not allowed
to finish anything
I was saying to you earlier,
that's what I was trying
to say to you.
- [Mike] Well, let him finish
and then have your turn.
- [Gordon] Is this a
competition between you and I?
- No it's not, no.
- Let him finish and
then you have your turn.
- [Caron] I don't know
what you want me to say.
- There you go again.
- But I, I've gone out
there, I've apologised.
I can't do any more.
- You can't run around like
fucking Shrek in a frock
and then expect us to
pick up the pieces,
you've got to have some
form of control, Caron.
You're more concerned about you
as opposed about committed
to the business side.
- I am not.
I am not.
- So you make a mistake--
- So if you want to go
along with this Mike,
go along with it, right.
- Look Ka.
- Oh, so you're
throwing the towel in?
- I am not--
- Stop it, stop it--
- Throwing the towel in, Gordon.
- Talk to, talk to me.
- Winding yourself up, stop it.
- Why do you work
yourself up like this?
- Because I've tried to tell
you, I've gone out there,
I've apologised, I can't
do any more out there.
- [Gordon] Let me help you.
- Help me do what?
- Run the dining room properly.
- [Caron] Yes you can.
- I'm just asking you
not to snap.
There's twenty mistakes
going on in every restaurant
across Britain every night,
we have to control them.
Your problem is one mistake,
you lose the fucking plot,
my dear.
- Yeah, but if you--
- Please calm down.
- [Caron] I am.
- Because then we can work
at it together.
We've finished work, go
outside, have a nice cigarette.
- Thank you.
- Get some fresh air.
- Can I have a cigarette now?
- Uh?
- Thank you for your help again.
- Not at all.
Hey, we got through it.
- You sort of come like
the fucking Italian Job
where the bus is on the
edge of the cliff
and you've sort of arrived
just at the right time.
I'm like that bus,
ready to go over.
- Get some fresh air.
- [Mike] Okay.
- Thank you.
- Just leave me.
- Come here.
- Just leave it.
- Come here.
Don't--
- Leave it.
- Look at me, look at me now.
- I want to be left alone.
- Look at me, look at me
for 30 seconds, right.
Just bear with it, right,
it's hard, it's only one week,
right, and we're gonna get
it over and done with, right,
and we'll be back on
the right road.
Just get it all over and
done with, right.
- Don't try and be reasonable,
Michael.
- I'm not Ka, right?
- Because if you spoke to me
like that, what would you have?
- I know that, right, but
I have overriding respect,
right, for the man here
is trying to help us
put the business right.
- Yes, I have as well.
(Gordon chuckles)
- Oh, fuck me!
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm
in Lampeter, West Wales,
at the Fish & Anchor.
I've been here for two
nights of madness and mayhem
with the owners rowing
with everyone.
They've gone for each other.
- And he wouldn't let me finish!
- Look, you're doing it again!
- [Gordon Voiceover] I got
it in the neck.
- So it's my fault now?
- It's not, I just told you
it wasn't, I just told them.
- [Gordon Voiceover] They've
even thrown out customers.
- Out, just get in
your car and go.
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm
hitting the streets to find out
how Mike and Caron's rows
have affected public opinion.
- And what's the reputation?
- Bad.
- I used to go there quite a
lot but, erm, I got put off
by the, erm, intense
atmosphere, put it that way.
- Perhaps, they're a bit
quick tempered maybe.
- [Gordon] Uh huh.
- With the customers.
- I think the, er, the landlord,
um,
may not always be the
most cheerful of people.
- What I've heard and, heard
of him, he's a bit of a tosser.
- If people sort of say,
well, don't go there,
there's argy-bargies going
on, you just won't go there.
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
Fish & Anchor's reputation
is rock bottom.
Now I've heard that Mike's
got into trouble with the law
for rowing with locals.
I'm turning marriage counsellor
to make Mike and Caron
realise that their
arguing must stop.
If it doesn't, I can't
save the Fish & Anchor.
- [Mike] Well, I had a
conviction for a public disorder
I mean, not much
more than a row.
- [Gordon] Yeah.
- I'm not proud of the
fact that I've done it.
- Whether they're right, you're
right, it doesn't matter.
But what I'm trying to say
in a business point of view,
we can't wash our dirty linen
in public, and I don't know
if you really understand
how bad the reputation is.
- The only arguments that,
that, that are witnessed is,
here is that it's, it's
all work related,
you know, kitchen stuff.
- [Gordon] Right, yeah.
- Nothing personal whatsoever.
Absolutely nothing.
- [Gordon] Okay.
But what I'm trying to say is
that the, you don't go at it--
- But--
- [Gordon] You don't go
at it in a small manner.
- No, I understand what you say,
it,
it affects some of
the customers.
- It's the severity of it.
- I keep saying to him
there's people in the bar,
you can hear, they can hear you.
And--
- [Gordon] But Caron, you're
both as bad as one another.
- I know we are.
- And what I want to say that,
I'm just trying to say that
we have to turn the
fucking corner.
Now, surely you want to?
- [Caron] Of course I do.
- And surely you want to?
And I want to change it
for the best,
and you both need to work
at it together
and I'll help you with that.
You, you, you love each
other deep down inside,
but I don't get that
fucking feeling
so I just want it run
by a husband and wife
that are supporting each other.
Yeah?
- I know I've got to calm down,
take a chill pill and just
don't get upset over nothing.
- We want, er, the
reputation as a restaurant
and for ourselves to be as
good as the food we turn out,
you know, it's just as
important, and I think,
er, Gordon has, has
made that clear.
- That went really well, I
mean, I'd like to think that
they both got the message
and I think they listened,
and I want the locals to
understand that there's more
to the Fish & Anchor than
just fucking arguments.
So that has to stop.
Now, I can't change the
reputation overnight,
but what I can do is change
this place and help give a new
identity and put it back
on the map in Lampeter.
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] My plan
is to draw Mike's Italian roots
and turn the Fish & Anchor
into an Italian restaurant.
First up, get rid of
Mike's unworkable menu,
it'll make everyone's
life a lot easier.
I've also arranged some
temporary help from the local
catering college to get a
new menu up and running.
- [Gordon] Mike, Caron, can
I introduce you to somebody?
- Yes.
- [Gordon] This is Kelly.
- [Caron] Yes, hello Kelly.
- Yes?
Caron.
Mike, this is Kelly.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- To make things faster
and easier for you,
I want you to open up and
work with Kelly.
- [Gordon Voiceover] I've
designed a streamlined
Italian menu specially for Mike.
- Six starters, six
mains and three desserts.
Except there's two of you here
tonight and we go together.
The bass, salmon, monkfish,
prawns
and shallots with garlic
is rustic, easy fish stew.
- [Gordon Voiceover] This
new menu's idiot proof.
He'll be able to cook
top quality,
rustic dishes easily
and quickly.
(sizzling)
- [Gordon] Tiger prawns in.
A tablespoon of pesto,
and pine nuts, over,
drain off our pasta, and look,
we're away.
We're not fucking running over
there, running over there.
- Just one step and
introduction--
- [Gordon] It's here and away,
boom!
- [Gordon Voiceover]
These dishes will fly out
of the kitchen.
It'll make for a less
pressurised service,
and no stress will help
Mike and Caron stop rowing.
- [Gordon] So it was
literally two minutes
to put that dish together.
- You could do that
while they're clearing.
- Absolutely.
- The most important thing
from the menu is the speed
with which we can put
everything together, I mean,
it's completely, defuels
any problems or stress
and strains within the kitchen,
erm, of having to try and,
you know, unlike the old menu,
trying to achieve something
that's almost unachievable.
- If he's not stressed
in the kitchen,
we're not gonna be arguing,
because he's not screaming
and shouting and me and
I haven't got nothing to
shout at him back for.
(dramatic music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] I've got
more than the menu to fix.
The key to any
restaurant's success
is creating a
welcoming atmosphere.
Meeting Caron is like
coming face to face
with an uptight Welsh dragon.
She's got to relax.
- Sometimes when you go to the
table, your face, honestly,
I mean, the only thing that's
missing is a wasp, you know.
I swear to god,
you're like that.
It's intense and it's like.
(sniffing)
What the fuck you gonna order?
What the fuck you gonna order?
Do you know?
So I want you to relax with it.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Some
brave souls have volunteered
to act as guinea pig customers.
It'll allow me to observe
Caron and the waitresses
closely and lend a helping hand.
- Have you been with us before
or is it your first time?
Mains?
- [Female Customer] Sea bass,
please.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Waitresses
Ann Harrad and Menna shine.
Professional, courteous.
Caron's turn.
She's like the ice
maiden, completely frozen.
(lighthearted music)
(hand bangs)
(music scratches)
Time for a pep talk.
- When the customers come in,
greet them as if you need them.
- [Caron] Yes.
- Don't kiss their arse.
- [Caron] No.
- But make them feel welcome.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Take two.
She's talking, she's listening
But she's scary.
(music scratches)
- Smile.
- I am smiling.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
One last try.
Bingo, a smile.
- [Caron] How are you?
- Very well, thank you.
- Crab cakes are very
good, so is the mushrooms.
- [Gordon Voiceover] A full
on Caron charm offensive.
- The old man's a chef
He's not the husband,
it's the old man.
Yes.
- I was testing you all,
not to make you look stupid
but to make the
service friendlier
so we're not like this,
like we're still, yeah.
What do you want?
Yeah, what do you want?
What do you recommend?
You've got such a lovely smile
when you're in the dining room,
people want to see you in here.
Push it.
- Yes.
(gentle acoustic music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] The day
of the re-launch of the new
Fish & Anchor, but before it
can be an Italian restaurant,
the awful sports bar
decor has to go.
- I want to bring a breath
of fresh air in here.
We're leaning towards
something in connection
with your grandparents,
Italian, so it's, you know,
a country fare, it's warm,
it's rustic
and it's, it's inviting.
Builders are here.
(hand claps)
Let's go.
While she's in a good mood,
yeah, can we get it going, yeah?
Just in case she turns, yeah?
Catch that smile, yeah,
it's like the eclipse,
comes round once
every four years.
(upbeat music)
It's a fresh start for
the Fish & Anchor.
This new look will help make
for a relaxed atmosphere,
perfect for welcoming
back customers.
- Fucking hell.
- Like a breath of fresh air.
That's what happens when first
you go down the wrong road
and you can't see it, can't
see the wood for the trees.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
And finally,
Mike's free of his
unworkable menu.
- Just by getting rid of
what was on that wall,
that board and removing
that from my life
has been like lifting the
world off my shoulders.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Time to
unveil the new look to the
waitresses, Anne
Harrad and Menna.
- Gone, gone has the blue.
Look at the carpet.
- Oh, my god, it's cream.
- [Gordon] Uh?
- Nice and light, it's not
as dark as it used to be.
- - [Gordon] Nice, Menna,
what do you think darling?
- Not dingy and oh, it's fresh.
- [Gordon] It's fresh
and cheerful.
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] With
the restaurant sorted,
it's time to deal with the
most crucial bit of the
re-launch, winning the trust
of the people of Lampeter.
I've arranged a ride into
town to promote
the new Fish & Anchor.
- Right.
Look at you.
Building bridges.
We're down off to Lampeter, yes.
We're gonna get the
message out there.
I'm gonna shout from the
rooftops the style, yes?
What you're doing, where
it's coming from,
why we're doing it and we're
gonna build some bridges.
And the reputation is
gonna be changed, yes?
Leaflets, hay bales, canapes
and get your arse in there.
(upbeat music)
Hold on tight.
- [Gordon Voiceover] It's
the start of the long road
to rebuilding this
place's reputation.
- Get down to the Fish & Anchor,
fantastic rustic Italian food.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Mike
needs to rub shoulders with
the locals and he's using his
meatballs to win them over.
- Try one?
Go on, they're lovely
- [Gordon] Get down to
the Fish & Anchor,
delicious meatballs,
wonderful pastas.
- [Gordon Voiceover] With no
Italian restaurants in Lampeter
there's plenty to shout about.
A classy menu and a new look,
and most important, a
friendlier service.
- I can confirm that Caron's
agreed to stop arguing.
Yes or no?
- Yes.
- [Gordon] Caron has stopped
scaring the customers.
She's turned a new leaf.
She loves you all.
If Mike and Caron start
rowing tonight,
they'll undo all the hard work.
So I've got a plan.
If they get stressed, rather
than tearing strips off
each other I'm introducing
an anger management prop.
- Right, services are
quite stressful, yes?
- Yeah.
- Tonight, if we get 'strated,
you and you are on the
naughty step.
Bang.
Over there.
(upbeat music)
(laughs)
There, off you go.
Get in there big boy, come on,
get some welly behind it, Caron.
Careful you don't get
knocked out.
One big one, good girl.
Well done, well done, well done.
Ohh! Well done.
So, just take it out on that,
yes?
And you want to scream
and you want to fuck off
outside for a cigarette.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- [Gordon] Yes? Take
it out on that.
Okay, how are we feeling?
- Excited.
(laughs)
- Yes? Excited?
How are you feeling?
- Calm.
- [Gordon] Calm.
- Collected.
- [Gordon] Yeah?
- And excited.
- Okay, good.
Right in front of your
eyes on that chair
is your chef's jacket.
For a man that's fucking
in his late forties
that's been busting his arse
off for the last 20 years,
this is your chance.
This is your time now.
Take advantage of it and
fucking do it properly,
more importantly enjoy it.
- [Anne] You're a chef Mike.
- [Gordon] Now you're
gonna cook like a chef
and you're gonna look
like a chef.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
The reckoning,
the new launch of the new
Fish & Anchor.
This is the biggest fight
of Mike's life.
For this ex-boxer, it carries
the promise of a huge reward,
to finally call himself a chef.
The people of Lampeter
are coming to give
the Fish & Anchor a
second chance.
A golden opportunity for
Mike and Caron
to redeem this
place's reputation.
- Try this one, oh, the stew,
it's lovely.
- One antipasti, two prawn
and basil, one smoked salmon.
- Right, yeah, good.
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
kitchen's feeling like
a professional set up with Mike
taking control like a chef.
- Can you call the
girls ready for service?
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
new menu's doing its job
with dishes flying out of the
kitchen and going down well.
- Looks quite simple,
quite plain in that respect
but it tastes lovely.
Jason thinks the
meatballs are brilliant.
- [Jason] Yep.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Out front
the waitresses Anne Harrad
and Menna are keeping
the orders rolling in.
Crucially, Caron's
charming the guests.
- You're gonna be a good boy,
you're gonna be a very
good boy all night.
Right, what can I get you?
- [Gordon Voiceover] Just
two days ago she was shouting
at anyone in earshot, now
she's like a new woman,
smiling, chatting, welcoming.
The restaurant's now
at its capacity
and Mike's under pressure.
(sizzling)
- [Anne] Got another order then.
- [Mike] Right-oh!
- Starters on table
four cleared.
Come on Mike, give me an
answer please.
Starters on table--
- Starters on table
four cleared?
- [Gordon] They're clear, yeah.
We're gonna just check now.
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
orders are stacking up
and he's panicking.
- Whoa, whoa, you're going
too fast, listen, whoa, stop.
- This is where it really
seriously matters now,
I'm still unconvinced that
this guy can do more than
one table at a fucking time.
The menu's so idiot proof,
straightforward, easy,
country Italian fare and
he's fucking stressing out.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Out
front, the food isn't hitting
the tables quickly enough.
- We'll be, we'll be drunk
before the food comes you know.
- I'm starving hungry,
I've been working all day
and there's nothing happening,
this is disgraceful.
- Fucking, I'm just not
getting saucepans.
Look, they're under there,
and I have to use the same
saucepan over and over.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Mike's
teetering on the edge.
- Dressing.
Where's the dressing gone?
- [Gordon Voiceover] This
doesn't bode well for the
future.
- Ladle!
Can I have some spoons,
big spoons?
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm gutted.
And then the night takes
an unexpected turn.
- [Gordon] Shit, watch out.
- [Caron] Menna!
- [Gordon] Watch out.
Watch out.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Waitress Menna
has slipped on the floor.
She's unconscious, it
could be serious.
An ambulance is called,
the night's service stops.
- She doesn't want to see
you like that.
Right, stand up.
I need the food taken
out of the way.
Fine.
Er, a sad ending, erm, bad
fall, she slipped on the floor
and, erm, hurt her back,
slight seizure
and went into some
form of shock.
Taken away in an ambulance, erm,
thankfully her parents were
there and she stayed really calm
and she's in safe hands.
I'm convinced she's going
to be absolutely fine,
but it was a tough night.
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
I'm back in West Wales.
It's a month since the Fish
& Anchor's re-opening night
ended so abruptly when
waitress Menna slipped
and was taken to hospital.
- Shit, watch out.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
She recovered
and went home the next day.
- First of all, I'm very, erm,
relieved,
the fact that Menna is back
to a hundred percent fitness.
I'm dying to find out
what's actually going on
at the Fish & Anchor,
because on the launch night,
we were halfway through
and just struggling
to keep our neck
above the waters.
Has he changed back to
his old ways?
And when they've got a
problem with each other
I hope they're not
washing their dirty linen
in front of their customers.
I don't fucking believe it.
He's painted the bloody thing.
It looks inviting.
That's one bit of good news.
Hey.
- [Mike] Hello.
- How are you?
- Okay.
- It looks great out there.
How are you, my darling?
- Very good, thank you.
- Are you well? Yes?
- Great, yeah.
- Menu.
Dare I turn round and
look at a blackboard?
- No.
- [Caron] No.
- No?
- No, written menu.
- Written menu?
Style of food is half Rick
Stein, half Garry Rhodes?
- No, it's Italian.
- Figure-wise where are we
in comparison to last year?
- Well, er, customers, we've
double the amount of customers,
double the amount of covers.
- [Gordon] Yeah.
- And as opposed to
something like a four,
four and a half grand loss,
we're broke,
broke even this month.
- That's good news.
That's very, very,
very positive.
Rowing stopped?
- Stopped.
- Must have been one somewhere?
- There hasn't, has there?
- No?
- No.
- No? Well, we've taken venison
off the menu now anyway.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
(laughs)
- Uh?
- Yeah.
- I look at venison in
a completely different
fucking way now, I don't
know about you, uh?
(laughs)
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] A month
ago, Mike and Caron's constant
rows were driving the
customers away.
I can't believe they've
completely stopped.
A quick flick through
the reservations book
gives me a hotline to
recent customers.
- Now I just want some
fucking, er, background.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Time to
find out whether Mike and Caron
have truly built bridges
with the locals.
- [Gordon] Hello, is that Roger?
- [Roger] Yeah it is.
- [Gordon] Hi, it's Gordon
Ramsay, how are you?
- [Roger] I'm fine, how are you?
- [Gordon] What was
the food like?
- [Roger] It was brilliant.
- What was the atmosphere
like in the dining room?
Completely changed, lovely.
- Good, and the million
dollar question,
was there any arguing?
- [Roger] No, none at all.
- One nil to the Fish & Anchor.
Sorry, is that Sue?
- [Sue] It is.
- How was dinner?
- [Sue] It was lovely.
- [Gordon] Was the service warm?
- [Sue] Yes.
- [Gordon] Anybody shout at you?
- [Sue] No, why?
(laughs)
- [Gordon] No.
No, I'm just asking.
Two nil.
Hi, Tony, it's Gordon,
you sneaked into the
Fish & Anchor recently.
- [Tony] Yeah, we had a
nice meal there,
I think there was ten of us.
- Ten of you?
They served ten main courses
all at the same time?
- [Tony] Yeah.
- You didn't have to
take a two week holiday
in-between courses?
Fuck, three nil.
There's got to be some
negativity somewhere.
Did you hear any shouting,
screaming?
- [Customer] No, no, no, why,
is that usual there, is it?
- Well, no, but I'm
just asking you,
you're the customer, you
are the critic.
Thank you my darling, big kiss.
For me, it tells me the
reputation is spreading,
and it's spreading in a
very positive way.
(upbeat music)
The word's good.
Seeing is believing.
Mike's a changed man, a month
ago he was running around
the kitchen like a
headless chicken.
Now he's mastered my menu,
big boy can finally call
himself a chef.
- Ready for a bit of service
here now in a minute, girls.
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
dishes are flying out.
- My god, you're so quick, uh?
- [Gordon Voiceover] And he's
in control of his kitchen.
- [Mike] Where's all
these orders then, girls?
- Did I hear right there,
you're screaming for orders?
- [Mike] Yeah.
These are going out
now in a minute
and I've got nothing
to get on with.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Out
front the atmosphere's exactly
what I was aiming for,
relaxed and welcoming.
- Thank you darling, you
can come again.
(laughs)
- Now, I'm a little bit nervous.
Yeah, well, it's
going really well.
You know, he's got five tickets
on, yeah, there's harmony,
everybody's smiling,
the customers are happy.
What's going on?
- Nothing.
- Uh?
- Ha, ha.
- The--
- Told you so.
- Well, the change in him is,
erm--
- Unbelievable.
He's proud of himself again.
- [Gordon] Yeah, yeah.
- For getting things
done and quickly
and nobody's complaining and--
- You look very relaxed.
- I am.
I'm enjoying myself actually.
- Good.
You know those cookbooks
we got rid of.
- They're gone.
- They've gone and they
went to a good cause, yeah?
- Went to a good cause, yeah.
- Now I think it's about time,
yeah,
you put your own book together.
(laughs)
Here we go, yeah?
Not too sure about
your Sous Chef.
(laughs)
Look at it carefully and
then start filling out
your own rustic recipes
and cook from here.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] Cook from the heart.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- And then print it and flog it.
- Put it alongside yours on
the shelves, see how we go.
(laughs)
- [Gordon] Take care.
- Tah rah!
I think me and Mike have
reassessed our marriage.
I really, really feel like
going on honeymoon again.
You know, just go, me and
him going away for a sloppy,
daft weekend somewhere.
So we might just do that soon.
- Really happy to see it
actually working,
and for me the most important
thing is we've fixed the menu,
that means we've fixed
Mike and Caron,
and if they can stick to that,
they've got a happy
restaurant, happy customers
and more importantly a
happy couple.
(upbeat music)
I've never had a facial before.
I had these lines at 21
so what's the point in
getting a facial.
Caron, do you snore?
- Yes.
- You do?
Do you bottom burp?
- No, never, ever, ever do.
(gurgling)
- Caron, is that your tummy?
What is that?
- [Beautician] My
gurgling plughole.
- Okay.
(laughs)
(Caron snoring)
(laughs)
- So relaxing.
---
- [Gordon Voiceover] My
mission this week,
The Fish and Anchor.
Owners Mike and Caron are
a couple at war.
- And he wouldn't let me finish!
- Look, you're doing it again.
- [Caron] Fuck off.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Their rows are legendary.
- Fuck off.
No, I haven't got a bloody
Oscar, I'm not being sworn at!
- [Gordon Voiceover] They're
driving the locals away.
- Out.
- What I've heard, he's a
bit of a tosser.
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm
turning marriage counsellor.
- You can't run around like
fucking Shrek in a frock,
you've got to have some
form of control.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Otherwise,
this restaurant will
self-destruct.
- Ding, ding, round fucking two.
(knives swishing)
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Lampeter, a tranquil hamlet
in West Wales's
glorious countryside.
A perfect setting for a
traditional, rustic restaurant.
- I mean, it's a
dream for any chef
to have a restaurant here.
Phenomenal pastures,
amazing land.
Great support with the locals.
But to try and
understand the fuckers,
is a completely
different nightmare.
- [Instructor] Hello, and
welcome to teach yourself Welsh.
(speaks in foreign language)
- [Translator] Teach
yourself Welsh.
- [Instructor] And
remember to speak out loud.
(speaks foreign language)
- [Instructor] Six.
(speaks foreign language)
Cunter.
- Cunter.
- [Instructor] First.
(speaks foreign language)
Dim.
- Dim.
- [Instructor] No.
- I feel fucking dim.
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] In
this green and pleasant land
lies The Fish and Anchor.
A few years back,
ex-boxer Mike Timinera
won 700 grand on the pools.
It's allowed him to swap
his fish and chip shop
for the pursuit of his
culinary dream.
- I'd like to set a goal of
just achieving something.
Be it, like, you know,
just get one Michelin star.
You know, they put a man on
the moon with no technology.
If you can put a man on
the moon, a Michelin star
don't sound a very big
thing to achieve, does it?
- [Gordon Voiceover] Mike's
got a plan to make the step up
from the fat fryer to
cooking haute cuisine,
nicking recipes from
cookbooks used in the home,
including mine.
(whistling)
Gordon Ramsay's book there,
Sunday Lunch.
Rick Stein's book,
Gordon Ramsay here again.
I'd like to try and
recreate them
or put my own slant on
a lot of them
Very simply turn them
into something
really special and exciting.
- [Gordon Voiceover] But there's
a problem in this Italian
stallion's plan for
culinary world domination.
Mike and wife Caron, who
runs the front of house,
just don't see eye to eye.
- Try to run up a hill
with a ball and chain
around your leg.
You know, it's holding you
back, slowing you down.
- He is very critical of
me, and I don't know why
because I do my job and
I do my job bloody well.
- You're supposed to
work with me.
I want you to work with me.
- I am working with you,
you frigging dork.
- Yeah, but you.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Married for 22 years
the couple's arguments
are notorious locally.
Mike and Caron have even got
into trouble with the law
for rowing in public.
- Arsehole!
- We were having a row
and Caron's in my face
so I just pushed her out
of the way, you know.
- Yeah, so I shoved him
back and I screamed back
and I give you a shove as well.
Two-handedly.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
These two don't just row
with each other, they also
row with the customers.
It makes for a
stinking reputation
and no one's coming here to eat.
Haemorrhaging a grand a week,
this eatery's heading for
the big chopping
board in the sky.
- Oh, my god.
What is that down there?
That can't be it, can it?
You can't miss that one can you?
Unfortunately, the Germans did.
How are you buddy?
And this is Mike?
- Yeah.
- Mike who's in love with blue.
- Blue, yeah.
(laughs)
- Fuck me, you can't
miss it can you?
- No.
(laughs)
- How are you?
- All right thanks.
- Good, didn't realise
you were so short.
- Well.
- Short and powerful.
- Yeah.
- Hey, how are you?
- How are you?
- And this is?
- Caron, my wife.
- Caron, how are you?
- Very good.
- Nice to see you.
- And you.
- And are you in love
with blue as much as Mike?
- No.
- No.
- No.
- Thank fuck for that.
(laughs)
(upbeat music)
- Ronaldo, Zola, fuck me.
I didn't know sports bars
existed in the middle of Wales.
It's bright, it's ghastly
and, er, yeah, it's blue.
- [Gordon Voiceover] And
another addition to this
hall of fame is me.
- God.
- [Gordon Voiceover] A fish
recipe from one of my cookbooks
using monkfish is on
the menu board.
- It's quite eerie when
you see your own food
on somebody else's menu.
It's for the home cook at home,
not in a fucking restaurant.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
This menu's a mishmash
of cookbook recipes.
It's so vast, I'm
dizzy reading it.
- And I'll start with
the soup first
my darling, please, thank you.
- [Gordon Voiceover] First
off, a nod to the great
Georgia Lockatelly.
- [Gordon] Very chunky,
isn't it?
- [Caron] Yes.
Well, nice?
- Bloody hell, do you
interrogate all the customers?
- [Caron] I do.
- You do?
- [Caron] When, when they're
awkward ones, yes I do.
- Ah, no wonder
they've fucked off.
- [Caron] No wonder, well, well,
don't be awkward and
facetious then.
- That's the weirdest
looking Minestrone soup
I've ever seen.
- [Caron] He's being a twat.
- [Mike] Is he?
- [Caron] Yeah.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Next up, let's see how
my fish recipe stands up.
- It's got black bream with
a basil and pea bonne famme.
I've changed that, I
still use the bonne famme
but I roast fillet of monkfish.
- Shallots are raw.
Monkfish is actually
quite nice and roasted.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Finally,
a Madhur Jaffrey tribute.
That well-known Welsh classic,
a chicken korma curry.
- Looks like something out
of a fucking pig's trough.
- We had someone in,
they'd been to Claridges
run by Gordon Ramsay and they
thought that they enjoyed
their food here a lot more than
what they enjoyed it there.
- What the fuck is that?
Welsh snot.
Fuck me, we don't need to
see the dessert, do we?
Jesus.
Shit.
Happy to be here.
- [Mike] Yeah, yeah.
- Just arrived, sat down,
went through the menu.
You've got everything
and anything on there.
- Part of it comes from,
I see something
and I like the look of it, I
want to put it on the menu.
- [Gordon] But the menu
reads like a trophy shelf.
- Well, I know, it's got a--
- You've gone round and picked
up all these little bits of--
- [Mike] I know.
- Like a fucking magpie.
- [Mike] Yeah, yeah.
- Trophy, trophy, trophy.
Stick it on, stick it on,
stick it on.
- Yeah.
- I was really excited
about the fucking soup.
When the soup arrived,
it was just like a mush
of fucking vegetables.
A gunk, it was shocking.
The monkfish, even the
shallots were, like, raw, Mike,
they weren't even cooked,
so it was like a raw onion,
and then the biggest kick
in the bollocks
was the fucking curry,
that was shocking.
Was that Lloyd Grossman sauces?
- No, no.
- [Caron] Uncle Ben's.
- No, I use a sauce.
- [Gordon] Uncle Ben's?
- [Mike] Oh, yeah.
- But that's what hurts, it
causes more damage serving that.
I like your fucking passion,
that's clearly there,
but you're not a chef.
- No.
- And that menu's full of
your wish list.
- Yeah.
- Shite.
- Shite.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
With no customers,
it's obvious the Fish &
Anchor's reputation is bad.
Time to turn detective
to see just how bad.
- Fish & Anchor.
- [Gordon Voiceover] There
are clues in cyber-space,
recently posted reviews.
- The food has to be
the best I've ever eaten
home or abroad.
Here's another one.
I've been to Rick Stein's and
I've been to Gordon Ramsay's,
but to find a place
better than them
on my doorstep is a
dream come true.
Mike Burns.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Strange,
the reviews are good.
So good that there's
something fishy going on here.
- There's three reviews all
written by a guy called Mike.
He's been to Rick Stein's,
he's been to Gordon Ramsay's.
It's all a little bit
too familiar.
To find a better place
than them on my doorstep
is a dream come true.
That little fat fucker.
- Truthfully, okay, and you
don't fucking lie to me now,
nor you.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- Michael Burns, yeah?
I don't get excited about
food too often,
and having dined at Rick
Stein's and Gordon Ramsay's
I think I've found a better
restaurant in West Wales.
Long live the Fish & Anchor,
recommended, Mike Burns,
Afghanistan.
- Where?!
- That's, I don't, that's
Daniel's friend
done that, didn't he?
- Yeah.
- Mike, truthfully, yeah?
And I know the truth.
- Yeah.
- Which one of these three
did you post on there?
- This one.
- Thank you, why?
- Well, we just wanted to,
we, we spoke to someone
and they say people do these
things and time to time
get theirself noticed, and
that's, that's what we done.
- Can you blow torch them,
put some icing sugar on there,
fucking caramelise them or
put them in the fucking bin.
Thank you.
(knives shinking)
Professional cooking is a
much, much, much tougher job
than people like Mike think so.
You can't just go and nick
recipes from cookbooks
and hey presto, I'm a chef,
and then write your own
fucking reviews.
He's a sitting disaster
waiting to happen.
(lighthearted acoustic
guitar music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] Tonight,
I've press-ganged some
reluctant locals into
eating here.
I need to see how Mike
handles cooking
for a full restaurant.
- With such a large
menu like that,
it must be a nightmare, no?
- It is.
- [Gordon] Do customers
wait long for food?
- Not usually.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Mike's confident, I'm not.
His menu's made up of
cookbook recipes designed
for home cooks to
lovingly slave over.
But for one man to try
and cook them from scratch
for a restaurant is madness.
(energetic music)
The dishes are just too
complicated to be cooked
quickly.
Mike's running around
like a headless chicken.
- Ah, shit!
I'm doing it the hard way,
I know that.
- Fuck me, you're doing
it the hard way, uh?
What's clear right now,
Mike is obviously not a
fucking chef.
He should be cooking
for three or four tables
at the same time.
He's not, he's only
cooking for one,
so it's like watching
my mum at home
cooking for a dinner party.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Two hours into service
and the food's just
not getting out.
- We haven't ordered yet.
- No one's taken your order yet?
- [Both] No.
- [Gordon Voiceover] It's
like a famine.
Customers are staving off
hunger by eating bar snacks.
With an unworkable menu,
the service is spiralling
out of control.
The pressure's on this
husband and wife team,
and these two are going to war.
Mike's even got his own
Welsh battlecry for Caron.
- Ka, Ka!
Ha!
What's going on?
- [Caron] What do you
mean what's going on?
- These?
- [Caron] Well, what am I
supposed to do,
they've been there for
fucking hours.
- Ka!
These tables is booked in.
- Yeah.
- [Mike] It's
fucking ridiculous.
- Well, who's fault is that,
mine is it?
- [Gordon Voiceover]
This isn't a marriage,
it's a battlefield.
Their relationship needs
some serious fixing.
Outside, there's more
trouble brewing.
- So it's better for
them to sit there,
where they're more happier.
- Excuse me, we've been waiting
here since eight o'clock,
I'm going home, I
couldn't give a shit
about your crappy bloody pub,
it's an absolute load of shite,
we've got a 70 year old
bloody woman with us and,
and you haven't given us
a bloody shit.
And as for you..
Fuck me, does he hate
Gordon Ramsey's?
- [Customer] I'm going.
- Well, that's your prerogative,
I did apologise for the,
for the meal and that.
- Yeah, well that's not
good enough, I'm sorry.
- [Caron] But there's
no need to bloody swear
and shout in front of everybody.
- [Customer] Well, I'm
sorry, you're a load of crap.
- Yeah, well, don't
bother coming back.
- [Customer] I shan't,
don't you worry.
- [Caron] Good.
Bastard.
- [Gordon Voiceover] I can't
believe what I'm hearing.
There's no stopping this woman.
There's a
misunderstanding over an order,
Caron's going off on one again.
- I've been up since five
o'clock this morning.
- Yeah.
- I've come here
specially for this.
- I know you have.
- And I've got nothing for it.
- Well, who's fault is that?
It's not my fault.
You was the one that said
you was leaving.
- I didn't say I were leaving,
I said--
- You did say you was leaving.
- I said some parties of our
fucking thing are leaving.
- Right, now I want
you to leave now
because I don't want
to be sworn at,
I've had a titful tonight.
Now, if you want to
swear at me again,
you can leave right now.
- There you go, that's
your attitude.
- No, I haven't got a
bloody attitude,
I'm not being sworn at!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Excuse me.
Out.
Leave it.
Out.
Out.
- [Male Customer] I've
spent four fucking hours
waiting, fucking--
- Out.
Out.
Out.
Right?
Now, just get in
your car and go.
- Oh, dear.
This is a first for me.
I've never, ever seen a customer
chucked out of a restaurant
like that before.
That is fucking embarrassing,
and no wonder this place
is in serious trouble
because that was appalling.
What in the fuck have
I got myself into here?
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Hostilities have ceased
Almost half the customers
didn't get served tonight.
Mike and Caron have gone AWOL.
The only sense I can get
in this madhouse
is from a 17 year old
waitress, Anne Harrad.
- I knew he'd be like this.
- [Gordon] Why?
- Well, he just can't help it.
- [Gordon] No.
- He, he just--
- He talks a lot.
- He talks a lot, yeah, he
thinks he can do it but he
can't.
- And all the shouting,
that's not normal is it?
- Yes.
- It's always a battle.
- My god!
- [Anne] Honest to god.
- [Gordon] Tell me how
you're feeling?
- Pissed right off.
- [Gordon] Yep.
- I've had a titful, right?
- [Gordon] Yeah.
- And I couldn't give
two shiny shites
if there's a 150 people out
there waiting to get served.
- [Gordon] Caron?
- I feel as sick as a dog
because I've been threatened,
I've been called an old tart,
I've been called a
scrubber by customers.
I have never, ever, ever
had anybody talk to me
like that before.
- What went wrong tonight, Mike,
is that you did one
table at a time.
Twenty-one we cooked for and
you made it look like 201.
It's the transformation from
coming out of a cook to a chef.
And I can see where you
shot yourself in the foot,
the fucking menu.
If I was in here and asked
to cook this fucking menu
because you're on your
bed upstairs ill,
I wouldn't even attempt to
do what you did tonight.
One thing, okay, tomorrow,
even before I start
looking at the menu, okay?
The two of you.
It's like you're having a
fucking boxing match in here.
It's husband and wife, right?
That has to stop tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- I see it all the time when
customers are frustrated.
The customer's king, Caron, you
can't fucking row with them.
It spreads like wildfire.
Fuck me, welcome to Lampeter.
This is a fucking nightmare.
Turning that place around is
gonna take me a lot longer
than fucking 12
rounds I tell you.
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm
in Lampeter, West Wales,
at the Fish & Anchor.
Last night's service
was a disaster.
If things don't change, this
place is going down, period.
It's a reality check for
chef, owner Mike Timinera.
This ex-boxer's on the ropes.
(sheep bleating)
- It is gutting to know
that you're not
Really going in the
right direction.
I mean, we're
probably one step up
from a truck stop in
reality, that's glorified.
I'm still not gonna give up,
I'm still gonna keep going,
you know, but what my aim
to do now is to listen
what Gordon says and absorb it
all like, like a sponge if I,
as much of it as I can and
point it in the right direction,
just draw another deep breath
and come back out fighting.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Time
for a bit of tough love.
My opening shot in
helping Mike is to get rid
of his comfort blanket, those
cookbooks, including mine.
- Right, something that's
fucking destroying you in here,
you know that?
- Yeah.
- Something that is a big
problem in this kitchen,
these fucking things.
- Right.
- Great Recipes of The World.
Out.
Asian Cooking by Uncle Ben.
Sunday Lunch, not
interested in that.
Make It Easy, not
interested in that.
Rick Stein, Mediterranean,
not interested in that.
Come Play With Jamie,
not interested in that.
And Rick Stein's French Odyssey,
bang.
Get your coat, we're going
down to the charity shop
and we're gonna give
something back to Lampeter.
Readers Digest?
- I don't know where they come
from, they come from here.
- Oh, fucking hell,
don't tell me
you were going to give it up.
- We've had them, I've
had them for--
- Open the car door please.
- I've had them for 20 years.
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Everything I've seen,
points to Mike trying
to be someone he's not.
Mock reviews, using
other people's recipes.
To help him, I need to
find the real Mike,
starting with his
Italian heritage.
- [Gordon] Who's that
gentleman there?
- [Mike] That's my grandfather.
- Wow, er, Italian?
- [Mike] Yeah.
- [Gordon] Yeah, lovely.
From where?
- [Mike] From Naples.
- And?
- [Mike] And that's his
parents, my great-grandparents.
- Wow!
Again from Naples?
- [Mike] Again from Naples.
They, they were farmers,
just worked the land,
they were poor, put in
salt in it, a poor area.
- [Gordon] Wow, so it's quite
an Italian historic tree there.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- And that lady is?
- That's my grandmother.
Basically who I'd learnt to
do a lot of Italian cooking,
you know, basically that,
that's, that's who I am.
You know, we're, we're,
we're proud of it.
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] There's
been an Italian community
in West Wales for years.
Mike's passionate about
this heritage.
I plan to channel that
passion into his cooking
by making a classic
Italian dish.
My starting point, a nearby
organic vegetable farm.
- Peter, how are you?
- Very well.
- Good to see you well.
- Nice to see you, and you.
- Likewise.
- Hello.
- There's Mike.
- Hello Mike.
- How are you?
- Very well.
- Mike's from the Fish & Anchor.
- We need a good service
tonight, yeah, and we're going
to
come up with a dish that
can get some traffic through
the restaurant without becoming
too concentrated and stuck.
(gentle music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm
taking Mike back to his roots.
Here, they grow the
very tomatoes
he tasted when he was a kid.
- [Gordon] So, what
are they called?
- [Peter] These are
called San Marzano.
- [Gordon] San Marzano.
- [Peter] And they're
specifically for making sauces.
- Yeah.
When was the last time you
came picking tomatoes, Mike?
- On my grandparents
farm in Italy,
that's the last time I
picked tomatoes.
Really, which was how long ago?
- 30 years ago or more.
Oh, these are beautiful.
- This is like being in a
candy shop, uh?
Absolutely phenomenal,
look at it.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- Everywhere.
And the different variety--
- It's been many years since
I've tasted a tomato like that.
- [Gordon] Uh?
(gentle music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] It's
time for Mike to cook
from his heart and
not cookbooks.
His grandmother's recipe
for spaghetti and meatballs.
- [Gordon] Explain the
perfect meatball.
- Good minced meat.
- [Gordon] Yes, a
combination of beef and pork.
- [Mike] Thyme.
- Yeah.
- [Mike] Parsley.
- Yeah.
Proper colour.
- Garlic, chilli.
- [Gordon] Mm hmm.
- Parmesan cheese.
- Good.
Could you say it was
your grandmother
who inspired you how to cook?
Would you say that's
where it started?
- [Mike] Yes, yes.
- Yeah?
'Cause you're quite a
passionate little fucker
inside aren't you?
- [Mike] Yeah.
- Uh?
- Yes.
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Mike's not a chef yet.
He struggles cooking
for a full restaurant.
These meatballs are the
first step in helping him.
- Right, the emphasis of
tonight's service is what?
- [Mike] Is to get
the tables to--
- Speed.
- [Mike] Speed.
- Speed, yeah.
Speed, speed, speed.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Multiple
portions can be pre-prepared
and served up in a
matter of minutes.
- I don't care
whether you've got
ten booked or twenty booked
I don't want customers waiting
for that length of time again,
yeah?
(hands clap)
- Now I'm going to cook
from within myself.
Finding what's within myself
and put that on a plate.
- Do me a favour.
Rub off that shit fucking
Tikka Massala, Balti,
Korma crap fucking shit
off of there, yes.
All off, one big swipe.
There you go, bang!
Korma's off, yes?
What's your wife's name?
- Caron.
- Ah!
Ah!
Can you call her Caron tonight?
- [Mike] Caron.
- Yeah, no, but can you do it
in a really affectionate way
that you fucking love her?
- Yeah.
- As this is a husband
and wife team.
Because the minute you
two start fucking showing
some form of affection and
respect, everyone else follows.
Ah!
That was you grunting
like a troll,
looking for your
fucking spanner.
No, but, it, serious.
And I was standing there
like this thinking,
fucking hell, this guy's fucking
bonkers, what's he smoking?
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Tonight, I'm gonna show Mike
how meatballs speed up service.
This place looks like
a sports bar,
so I've invited the local
rugby club, 15 strapping lads,
and they're starving hungry.
- Are you on half term?
(customers laugh)
- [Customer] No.
- [Gordon] We get that 15 out,
yeah?
- [Mike] Right.
- That's over one third of the
dining room cooked for, okay?
Come on.
(claps hands)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
It's taken just minutes
to serve up the meatballs
to the rugby lads.
Job done.
- [Gordon] 15 gone, yes?
- [Mike] Yeah, right, 15 gone.
- We couldn't even get 12
starters out last night, yeah?
- Yeah, these are nice yeah,
spot on, nice and spicy.
Very good, I think.
- [Customer Mike] They
look like faggots.
- They're, er, they
look like faggots
but they taste like meatballs,
Mike.
It's called cuisine man.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
The kitchen's starting
to come together.
Out front, it's a
different story.
The restaurant's busy but
where's Caron?
- Sorry.
Be two seconds please,
sorry buddy, thank you.
You're not smoking, are you?
Yes or no?
- Yes.
- That's disgusting.
Come on Caron please, now, I
need everybody's help tonight.
Come on please.
- Right, okay.
- Yeah.
Ridiculous, come on.
He's busting his arse off
there, you're outside smoking.
Take the order of six, please.
- Now?
- Now.
- Well, he told me two minutes.
- Er, Caron, he told
you two minutes.
- Yes.
- But does that mean to
say you've got to go out
and smoke a cigarette?
- No, I didn't know.
- I thought you were
running the restaurant?
- I am.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Dear, oh, dear.
I'm not convinced with her.
This, for me, is someone taking
the piss like they're just
going out tonight for a
fucking game of bingo.
She's got to attack it,
run it and observe it.
But you can't disappear every
30 seconds for a cigarette,
for a cigarette.
What about customers arriving
and one of the owners
outside puffing away.
What kind of message is
that sending to anybody?
- [Gordon Voiceover] Caron's
standards are sloppy,
and it's showing.
Now there's confusion
over a table's order.
- One fricassee
One monkfish, three halibut.
- Two steaks.
- And two fillets.
- Yeah, let's count
this off shall we?
- Yeah.
- Two plus three is five.
- Yeah.
- Plus six.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Seven.
You're missing a main course.
We cooked exactly
what you wrote.
Can you go and ask the lady
what she ordered please,
urgently?
- So the man on the end?
(sizzling)
- Venison.
- Oh, come on.
One venison in
straightaway please.
Okay.
- [Mike] The last venison for--
- Okay, let me ask you
a question now, yeah,
without getting defensive
and running off in a strop.
- No I won't, no I won't.
- Why did you forget the
venison on the order?
- Because two people
ordered the venison
and then the both of them.
- You crossed it off?
- Yeah, but they, both
of them cancelled it
and then, and then it was a
halibut to go back on and then
he ordered the venison again
and I forgot to put it back on.
- Okay, yeah, you forgot
to write it on.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- Tomorrow.
- [Caron] Yes.
- We're having a lesson
in taking orders.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- Okay?
- [Caron] Fine.
- Don't get upset.
- [Caron] I'm not getting upset.
- We're in the shit,
we look stupid.
- [Caron] No you don't,
because I've just told
them it's my fault.
- No, let me, let me finish.
Let, listen, let me just finish.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- By the time the venison's
cooked and rested.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- The existing customers
around the table,
their fellow guests will
be on fucking dessert.
- [Caron] But--
- We as a unit look stupid.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- Please don't tell me
any different, because--
- [Caron] I'm not telling
you any different.
- Don't start shouting.
- I'm not shouting, but you--
- You'll run off in a
minute and start smoking.
- No I, no I won't, but
you're always in big,
you're always willing to give--
- Can you just concentrate?
- To give bloody screaming--
- So it's my fault now?
- It's not, your, I've
just told you it was,
I've just told them
it's my fault.
- We look stupid.
- Yes I do.
- We!
- But you, no you don't,
because I've just told them
it's my fault.
I've just told them what I've--
- You don't get it, do you?
- Yes I do!
- You don't get it.
- Oh, Gordon, you just love
to, that's all you've done
for the last two days,
you've said fuck all to him.
But, no, that's all it is,
is every time I come out here
I'm still not sure about you.
That's all you've
said all night.
- [Gordon] Are you
gonna run away now?
- No I'm not, I'm going
out to see my customers.
- [Gordon] Customers
can hear you.
Customers can hear you.
- Yeah, and they can
hear you as well.
- Is this what it's like?
She forgets to write a venison
and then shouts, and
screams, and runs off.
- [Mike] Yeah, well, I
have a go at her as well.
I have a go at you
when you do that.
- I've just gone out to my--
- [Gordon] Please stop
shouting and close the door.
- [Mike] And then you
scream at me so I--
- I've gone out.
- Close the door.
Let's stop the
embarrassment further.
- No, I'll talk to Mike.
- Oh, fuck off.
- I've gone out there.
- [Mike] I know what you
said, I heard what you said.
- I will fuck off.
- What I was trying
to say to her,
is there any way she
could recommend a meatball
that's cooked so we
can get it out quickly?
- Yeah.
- Rather than cooking
the venison.
- With having a chance
to get it out?
- Yeah, I can't even get a
fucking word in edgeways.
At eight o'clock this evening,
I'm sweating my bollocks off
trying to get this
place up to speed
and she's outside
having a cigarette.
- [Mike] Ka.
- Ding, ding, round fucking two.
- [Caron] You want him, get off
- [Mike] Get, shut up,
get it out.
What he was--
- [Caron] I am not being
told to fuck off.
- [Mike] Shut your mouth
and listen to me.
You're doing the same,
you're not listening to me,
same as you don't listen to him.
- [Caron] I told him it
was my fault.
- You're, see, you're doing
it now, you're doing it now.
You're doing it now.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- You're not letting me finish
like you wouldn't
let him finish.
- And he wouldn't let me finish.
- Look, you're doing it again.
You're doing it again.
What he was gonna say
after he finished
telling you what you'd done.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- The next thing he was going
to say is, I'll tell you what,
why don't you try and get to
sell him the last meatballs
to get it out for the night.
But you didn't give it
a chance, because, bang,
you was there down the
throat again.
Now, I'd like you to get
behind the bar
where you should be and get
Jane out from behind there
because she's not allowed
behind there, right?
Stop.
- [Caron] Don't expect me
back tomorrow.
Fuck off.
- [Mike] Just get it done.
- [Caron] Fuck off.
- No, just get it done.
You can't take it Kazzie,
can you?
- No, I can take it but I don't
like being told to fuck off.
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
venison finally gets served.
- I'm deeply concerned.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- For the shouting
and screaming.
You're screwing the business,
and the quicker you learn
to control your temper.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- The quicker you're
gonna run your business.
For the better.
Let me finish, okay?
- Oh! But I'm not allowed
to finish anything
I was saying to you earlier,
that's what I was trying
to say to you.
- [Mike] Well, let him finish
and then have your turn.
- [Gordon] Is this a
competition between you and I?
- No it's not, no.
- Let him finish and
then you have your turn.
- [Caron] I don't know
what you want me to say.
- There you go again.
- But I, I've gone out
there, I've apologised.
I can't do any more.
- You can't run around like
fucking Shrek in a frock
and then expect us to
pick up the pieces,
you've got to have some
form of control, Caron.
You're more concerned about you
as opposed about committed
to the business side.
- I am not.
I am not.
- So you make a mistake--
- So if you want to go
along with this Mike,
go along with it, right.
- Look Ka.
- Oh, so you're
throwing the towel in?
- I am not--
- Stop it, stop it--
- Throwing the towel in, Gordon.
- Talk to, talk to me.
- Winding yourself up, stop it.
- Why do you work
yourself up like this?
- Because I've tried to tell
you, I've gone out there,
I've apologised, I can't
do any more out there.
- [Gordon] Let me help you.
- Help me do what?
- Run the dining room properly.
- [Caron] Yes you can.
- I'm just asking you
not to snap.
There's twenty mistakes
going on in every restaurant
across Britain every night,
we have to control them.
Your problem is one mistake,
you lose the fucking plot,
my dear.
- Yeah, but if you--
- Please calm down.
- [Caron] I am.
- Because then we can work
at it together.
We've finished work, go
outside, have a nice cigarette.
- Thank you.
- Get some fresh air.
- Can I have a cigarette now?
- Uh?
- Thank you for your help again.
- Not at all.
Hey, we got through it.
- You sort of come like
the fucking Italian Job
where the bus is on the
edge of the cliff
and you've sort of arrived
just at the right time.
I'm like that bus,
ready to go over.
- Get some fresh air.
- [Mike] Okay.
- Thank you.
- Just leave me.
- Come here.
- Just leave it.
- Come here.
Don't--
- Leave it.
- Look at me, look at me now.
- I want to be left alone.
- Look at me, look at me
for 30 seconds, right.
Just bear with it, right,
it's hard, it's only one week,
right, and we're gonna get
it over and done with, right,
and we'll be back on
the right road.
Just get it all over and
done with, right.
- Don't try and be reasonable,
Michael.
- I'm not Ka, right?
- Because if you spoke to me
like that, what would you have?
- I know that, right, but
I have overriding respect,
right, for the man here
is trying to help us
put the business right.
- Yes, I have as well.
(Gordon chuckles)
- Oh, fuck me!
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm
in Lampeter, West Wales,
at the Fish & Anchor.
I've been here for two
nights of madness and mayhem
with the owners rowing
with everyone.
They've gone for each other.
- And he wouldn't let me finish!
- Look, you're doing it again!
- [Gordon Voiceover] I got
it in the neck.
- So it's my fault now?
- It's not, I just told you
it wasn't, I just told them.
- [Gordon Voiceover] They've
even thrown out customers.
- Out, just get in
your car and go.
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm
hitting the streets to find out
how Mike and Caron's rows
have affected public opinion.
- And what's the reputation?
- Bad.
- I used to go there quite a
lot but, erm, I got put off
by the, erm, intense
atmosphere, put it that way.
- Perhaps, they're a bit
quick tempered maybe.
- [Gordon] Uh huh.
- With the customers.
- I think the, er, the landlord,
um,
may not always be the
most cheerful of people.
- What I've heard and, heard
of him, he's a bit of a tosser.
- If people sort of say,
well, don't go there,
there's argy-bargies going
on, you just won't go there.
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
Fish & Anchor's reputation
is rock bottom.
Now I've heard that Mike's
got into trouble with the law
for rowing with locals.
I'm turning marriage counsellor
to make Mike and Caron
realise that their
arguing must stop.
If it doesn't, I can't
save the Fish & Anchor.
- [Mike] Well, I had a
conviction for a public disorder
I mean, not much
more than a row.
- [Gordon] Yeah.
- I'm not proud of the
fact that I've done it.
- Whether they're right, you're
right, it doesn't matter.
But what I'm trying to say
in a business point of view,
we can't wash our dirty linen
in public, and I don't know
if you really understand
how bad the reputation is.
- The only arguments that,
that, that are witnessed is,
here is that it's, it's
all work related,
you know, kitchen stuff.
- [Gordon] Right, yeah.
- Nothing personal whatsoever.
Absolutely nothing.
- [Gordon] Okay.
But what I'm trying to say is
that the, you don't go at it--
- But--
- [Gordon] You don't go
at it in a small manner.
- No, I understand what you say,
it,
it affects some of
the customers.
- It's the severity of it.
- I keep saying to him
there's people in the bar,
you can hear, they can hear you.
And--
- [Gordon] But Caron, you're
both as bad as one another.
- I know we are.
- And what I want to say that,
I'm just trying to say that
we have to turn the
fucking corner.
Now, surely you want to?
- [Caron] Of course I do.
- And surely you want to?
And I want to change it
for the best,
and you both need to work
at it together
and I'll help you with that.
You, you, you love each
other deep down inside,
but I don't get that
fucking feeling
so I just want it run
by a husband and wife
that are supporting each other.
Yeah?
- I know I've got to calm down,
take a chill pill and just
don't get upset over nothing.
- We want, er, the
reputation as a restaurant
and for ourselves to be as
good as the food we turn out,
you know, it's just as
important, and I think,
er, Gordon has, has
made that clear.
- That went really well, I
mean, I'd like to think that
they both got the message
and I think they listened,
and I want the locals to
understand that there's more
to the Fish & Anchor than
just fucking arguments.
So that has to stop.
Now, I can't change the
reputation overnight,
but what I can do is change
this place and help give a new
identity and put it back
on the map in Lampeter.
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] My plan
is to draw Mike's Italian roots
and turn the Fish & Anchor
into an Italian restaurant.
First up, get rid of
Mike's unworkable menu,
it'll make everyone's
life a lot easier.
I've also arranged some
temporary help from the local
catering college to get a
new menu up and running.
- [Gordon] Mike, Caron, can
I introduce you to somebody?
- Yes.
- [Gordon] This is Kelly.
- [Caron] Yes, hello Kelly.
- Yes?
Caron.
Mike, this is Kelly.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- To make things faster
and easier for you,
I want you to open up and
work with Kelly.
- [Gordon Voiceover] I've
designed a streamlined
Italian menu specially for Mike.
- Six starters, six
mains and three desserts.
Except there's two of you here
tonight and we go together.
The bass, salmon, monkfish,
prawns
and shallots with garlic
is rustic, easy fish stew.
- [Gordon Voiceover] This
new menu's idiot proof.
He'll be able to cook
top quality,
rustic dishes easily
and quickly.
(sizzling)
- [Gordon] Tiger prawns in.
A tablespoon of pesto,
and pine nuts, over,
drain off our pasta, and look,
we're away.
We're not fucking running over
there, running over there.
- Just one step and
introduction--
- [Gordon] It's here and away,
boom!
- [Gordon Voiceover]
These dishes will fly out
of the kitchen.
It'll make for a less
pressurised service,
and no stress will help
Mike and Caron stop rowing.
- [Gordon] So it was
literally two minutes
to put that dish together.
- You could do that
while they're clearing.
- Absolutely.
- The most important thing
from the menu is the speed
with which we can put
everything together, I mean,
it's completely, defuels
any problems or stress
and strains within the kitchen,
erm, of having to try and,
you know, unlike the old menu,
trying to achieve something
that's almost unachievable.
- If he's not stressed
in the kitchen,
we're not gonna be arguing,
because he's not screaming
and shouting and me and
I haven't got nothing to
shout at him back for.
(dramatic music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] I've got
more than the menu to fix.
The key to any
restaurant's success
is creating a
welcoming atmosphere.
Meeting Caron is like
coming face to face
with an uptight Welsh dragon.
She's got to relax.
- Sometimes when you go to the
table, your face, honestly,
I mean, the only thing that's
missing is a wasp, you know.
I swear to god,
you're like that.
It's intense and it's like.
(sniffing)
What the fuck you gonna order?
What the fuck you gonna order?
Do you know?
So I want you to relax with it.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Some
brave souls have volunteered
to act as guinea pig customers.
It'll allow me to observe
Caron and the waitresses
closely and lend a helping hand.
- Have you been with us before
or is it your first time?
Mains?
- [Female Customer] Sea bass,
please.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Waitresses
Ann Harrad and Menna shine.
Professional, courteous.
Caron's turn.
She's like the ice
maiden, completely frozen.
(lighthearted music)
(hand bangs)
(music scratches)
Time for a pep talk.
- When the customers come in,
greet them as if you need them.
- [Caron] Yes.
- Don't kiss their arse.
- [Caron] No.
- But make them feel welcome.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Take two.
She's talking, she's listening
But she's scary.
(music scratches)
- Smile.
- I am smiling.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
One last try.
Bingo, a smile.
- [Caron] How are you?
- Very well, thank you.
- Crab cakes are very
good, so is the mushrooms.
- [Gordon Voiceover] A full
on Caron charm offensive.
- The old man's a chef
He's not the husband,
it's the old man.
Yes.
- I was testing you all,
not to make you look stupid
but to make the
service friendlier
so we're not like this,
like we're still, yeah.
What do you want?
Yeah, what do you want?
What do you recommend?
You've got such a lovely smile
when you're in the dining room,
people want to see you in here.
Push it.
- Yes.
(gentle acoustic music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] The day
of the re-launch of the new
Fish & Anchor, but before it
can be an Italian restaurant,
the awful sports bar
decor has to go.
- I want to bring a breath
of fresh air in here.
We're leaning towards
something in connection
with your grandparents,
Italian, so it's, you know,
a country fare, it's warm,
it's rustic
and it's, it's inviting.
Builders are here.
(hand claps)
Let's go.
While she's in a good mood,
yeah, can we get it going, yeah?
Just in case she turns, yeah?
Catch that smile, yeah,
it's like the eclipse,
comes round once
every four years.
(upbeat music)
It's a fresh start for
the Fish & Anchor.
This new look will help make
for a relaxed atmosphere,
perfect for welcoming
back customers.
- Fucking hell.
- Like a breath of fresh air.
That's what happens when first
you go down the wrong road
and you can't see it, can't
see the wood for the trees.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
And finally,
Mike's free of his
unworkable menu.
- Just by getting rid of
what was on that wall,
that board and removing
that from my life
has been like lifting the
world off my shoulders.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Time to
unveil the new look to the
waitresses, Anne
Harrad and Menna.
- Gone, gone has the blue.
Look at the carpet.
- Oh, my god, it's cream.
- [Gordon] Uh?
- Nice and light, it's not
as dark as it used to be.
- - [Gordon] Nice, Menna,
what do you think darling?
- Not dingy and oh, it's fresh.
- [Gordon] It's fresh
and cheerful.
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] With
the restaurant sorted,
it's time to deal with the
most crucial bit of the
re-launch, winning the trust
of the people of Lampeter.
I've arranged a ride into
town to promote
the new Fish & Anchor.
- Right.
Look at you.
Building bridges.
We're down off to Lampeter, yes.
We're gonna get the
message out there.
I'm gonna shout from the
rooftops the style, yes?
What you're doing, where
it's coming from,
why we're doing it and we're
gonna build some bridges.
And the reputation is
gonna be changed, yes?
Leaflets, hay bales, canapes
and get your arse in there.
(upbeat music)
Hold on tight.
- [Gordon Voiceover] It's
the start of the long road
to rebuilding this
place's reputation.
- Get down to the Fish & Anchor,
fantastic rustic Italian food.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Mike
needs to rub shoulders with
the locals and he's using his
meatballs to win them over.
- Try one?
Go on, they're lovely
- [Gordon] Get down to
the Fish & Anchor,
delicious meatballs,
wonderful pastas.
- [Gordon Voiceover] With no
Italian restaurants in Lampeter
there's plenty to shout about.
A classy menu and a new look,
and most important, a
friendlier service.
- I can confirm that Caron's
agreed to stop arguing.
Yes or no?
- Yes.
- [Gordon] Caron has stopped
scaring the customers.
She's turned a new leaf.
She loves you all.
If Mike and Caron start
rowing tonight,
they'll undo all the hard work.
So I've got a plan.
If they get stressed, rather
than tearing strips off
each other I'm introducing
an anger management prop.
- Right, services are
quite stressful, yes?
- Yeah.
- Tonight, if we get 'strated,
you and you are on the
naughty step.
Bang.
Over there.
(upbeat music)
(laughs)
There, off you go.
Get in there big boy, come on,
get some welly behind it, Caron.
Careful you don't get
knocked out.
One big one, good girl.
Well done, well done, well done.
Ohh! Well done.
So, just take it out on that,
yes?
And you want to scream
and you want to fuck off
outside for a cigarette.
- [Caron] Yeah.
- [Gordon] Yes? Take
it out on that.
Okay, how are we feeling?
- Excited.
(laughs)
- Yes? Excited?
How are you feeling?
- Calm.
- [Gordon] Calm.
- Collected.
- [Gordon] Yeah?
- And excited.
- Okay, good.
Right in front of your
eyes on that chair
is your chef's jacket.
For a man that's fucking
in his late forties
that's been busting his arse
off for the last 20 years,
this is your chance.
This is your time now.
Take advantage of it and
fucking do it properly,
more importantly enjoy it.
- [Anne] You're a chef Mike.
- [Gordon] Now you're
gonna cook like a chef
and you're gonna look
like a chef.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
The reckoning,
the new launch of the new
Fish & Anchor.
This is the biggest fight
of Mike's life.
For this ex-boxer, it carries
the promise of a huge reward,
to finally call himself a chef.
The people of Lampeter
are coming to give
the Fish & Anchor a
second chance.
A golden opportunity for
Mike and Caron
to redeem this
place's reputation.
- Try this one, oh, the stew,
it's lovely.
- One antipasti, two prawn
and basil, one smoked salmon.
- Right, yeah, good.
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
kitchen's feeling like
a professional set up with Mike
taking control like a chef.
- Can you call the
girls ready for service?
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
new menu's doing its job
with dishes flying out of the
kitchen and going down well.
- Looks quite simple,
quite plain in that respect
but it tastes lovely.
Jason thinks the
meatballs are brilliant.
- [Jason] Yep.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Out front
the waitresses Anne Harrad
and Menna are keeping
the orders rolling in.
Crucially, Caron's
charming the guests.
- You're gonna be a good boy,
you're gonna be a very
good boy all night.
Right, what can I get you?
- [Gordon Voiceover] Just
two days ago she was shouting
at anyone in earshot, now
she's like a new woman,
smiling, chatting, welcoming.
The restaurant's now
at its capacity
and Mike's under pressure.
(sizzling)
- [Anne] Got another order then.
- [Mike] Right-oh!
- Starters on table
four cleared.
Come on Mike, give me an
answer please.
Starters on table--
- Starters on table
four cleared?
- [Gordon] They're clear, yeah.
We're gonna just check now.
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
orders are stacking up
and he's panicking.
- Whoa, whoa, you're going
too fast, listen, whoa, stop.
- This is where it really
seriously matters now,
I'm still unconvinced that
this guy can do more than
one table at a fucking time.
The menu's so idiot proof,
straightforward, easy,
country Italian fare and
he's fucking stressing out.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Out
front, the food isn't hitting
the tables quickly enough.
- We'll be, we'll be drunk
before the food comes you know.
- I'm starving hungry,
I've been working all day
and there's nothing happening,
this is disgraceful.
- Fucking, I'm just not
getting saucepans.
Look, they're under there,
and I have to use the same
saucepan over and over.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Mike's
teetering on the edge.
- Dressing.
Where's the dressing gone?
- [Gordon Voiceover] This
doesn't bode well for the
future.
- Ladle!
Can I have some spoons,
big spoons?
- [Gordon Voiceover] I'm gutted.
And then the night takes
an unexpected turn.
- [Gordon] Shit, watch out.
- [Caron] Menna!
- [Gordon] Watch out.
Watch out.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
Waitress Menna
has slipped on the floor.
She's unconscious, it
could be serious.
An ambulance is called,
the night's service stops.
- She doesn't want to see
you like that.
Right, stand up.
I need the food taken
out of the way.
Fine.
Er, a sad ending, erm, bad
fall, she slipped on the floor
and, erm, hurt her back,
slight seizure
and went into some
form of shock.
Taken away in an ambulance, erm,
thankfully her parents were
there and she stayed really calm
and she's in safe hands.
I'm convinced she's going
to be absolutely fine,
but it was a tough night.
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon Voiceover]
I'm back in West Wales.
It's a month since the Fish
& Anchor's re-opening night
ended so abruptly when
waitress Menna slipped
and was taken to hospital.
- Shit, watch out.
- [Gordon Voiceover]
She recovered
and went home the next day.
- First of all, I'm very, erm,
relieved,
the fact that Menna is back
to a hundred percent fitness.
I'm dying to find out
what's actually going on
at the Fish & Anchor,
because on the launch night,
we were halfway through
and just struggling
to keep our neck
above the waters.
Has he changed back to
his old ways?
And when they've got a
problem with each other
I hope they're not
washing their dirty linen
in front of their customers.
I don't fucking believe it.
He's painted the bloody thing.
It looks inviting.
That's one bit of good news.
Hey.
- [Mike] Hello.
- How are you?
- Okay.
- It looks great out there.
How are you, my darling?
- Very good, thank you.
- Are you well? Yes?
- Great, yeah.
- Menu.
Dare I turn round and
look at a blackboard?
- No.
- [Caron] No.
- No?
- No, written menu.
- Written menu?
Style of food is half Rick
Stein, half Garry Rhodes?
- No, it's Italian.
- Figure-wise where are we
in comparison to last year?
- Well, er, customers, we've
double the amount of customers,
double the amount of covers.
- [Gordon] Yeah.
- And as opposed to
something like a four,
four and a half grand loss,
we're broke,
broke even this month.
- That's good news.
That's very, very,
very positive.
Rowing stopped?
- Stopped.
- Must have been one somewhere?
- There hasn't, has there?
- No?
- No.
- No? Well, we've taken venison
off the menu now anyway.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
(laughs)
- Uh?
- Yeah.
- I look at venison in
a completely different
fucking way now, I don't
know about you, uh?
(laughs)
(lighthearted music)
- [Gordon Voiceover] A month
ago, Mike and Caron's constant
rows were driving the
customers away.
I can't believe they've
completely stopped.
A quick flick through
the reservations book
gives me a hotline to
recent customers.
- Now I just want some
fucking, er, background.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Time to
find out whether Mike and Caron
have truly built bridges
with the locals.
- [Gordon] Hello, is that Roger?
- [Roger] Yeah it is.
- [Gordon] Hi, it's Gordon
Ramsay, how are you?
- [Roger] I'm fine, how are you?
- [Gordon] What was
the food like?
- [Roger] It was brilliant.
- What was the atmosphere
like in the dining room?
Completely changed, lovely.
- Good, and the million
dollar question,
was there any arguing?
- [Roger] No, none at all.
- One nil to the Fish & Anchor.
Sorry, is that Sue?
- [Sue] It is.
- How was dinner?
- [Sue] It was lovely.
- [Gordon] Was the service warm?
- [Sue] Yes.
- [Gordon] Anybody shout at you?
- [Sue] No, why?
(laughs)
- [Gordon] No.
No, I'm just asking.
Two nil.
Hi, Tony, it's Gordon,
you sneaked into the
Fish & Anchor recently.
- [Tony] Yeah, we had a
nice meal there,
I think there was ten of us.
- Ten of you?
They served ten main courses
all at the same time?
- [Tony] Yeah.
- You didn't have to
take a two week holiday
in-between courses?
Fuck, three nil.
There's got to be some
negativity somewhere.
Did you hear any shouting,
screaming?
- [Customer] No, no, no, why,
is that usual there, is it?
- Well, no, but I'm
just asking you,
you're the customer, you
are the critic.
Thank you my darling, big kiss.
For me, it tells me the
reputation is spreading,
and it's spreading in a
very positive way.
(upbeat music)
The word's good.
Seeing is believing.
Mike's a changed man, a month
ago he was running around
the kitchen like a
headless chicken.
Now he's mastered my menu,
big boy can finally call
himself a chef.
- Ready for a bit of service
here now in a minute, girls.
- [Gordon Voiceover] The
dishes are flying out.
- My god, you're so quick, uh?
- [Gordon Voiceover] And he's
in control of his kitchen.
- [Mike] Where's all
these orders then, girls?
- Did I hear right there,
you're screaming for orders?
- [Mike] Yeah.
These are going out
now in a minute
and I've got nothing
to get on with.
- [Gordon Voiceover] Out
front the atmosphere's exactly
what I was aiming for,
relaxed and welcoming.
- Thank you darling, you
can come again.
(laughs)
- Now, I'm a little bit nervous.
Yeah, well, it's
going really well.
You know, he's got five tickets
on, yeah, there's harmony,
everybody's smiling,
the customers are happy.
What's going on?
- Nothing.
- Uh?
- Ha, ha.
- The--
- Told you so.
- Well, the change in him is,
erm--
- Unbelievable.
He's proud of himself again.
- [Gordon] Yeah, yeah.
- For getting things
done and quickly
and nobody's complaining and--
- You look very relaxed.
- I am.
I'm enjoying myself actually.
- Good.
You know those cookbooks
we got rid of.
- They're gone.
- They've gone and they
went to a good cause, yeah?
- Went to a good cause, yeah.
- Now I think it's about time,
yeah,
you put your own book together.
(laughs)
Here we go, yeah?
Not too sure about
your Sous Chef.
(laughs)
Look at it carefully and
then start filling out
your own rustic recipes
and cook from here.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] Cook from the heart.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- And then print it and flog it.
- Put it alongside yours on
the shelves, see how we go.
(laughs)
- [Gordon] Take care.
- Tah rah!
I think me and Mike have
reassessed our marriage.
I really, really feel like
going on honeymoon again.
You know, just go, me and
him going away for a sloppy,
daft weekend somewhere.
So we might just do that soon.
- Really happy to see it
actually working,
and for me the most important
thing is we've fixed the menu,
that means we've fixed
Mike and Caron,
and if they can stick to that,
they've got a happy
restaurant, happy customers
and more importantly a
happy couple.
(upbeat music)
I've never had a facial before.
I had these lines at 21
so what's the point in
getting a facial.
Caron, do you snore?
- Yes.
- You do?
Do you bottom burp?
- No, never, ever, ever do.
(gurgling)
- Caron, is that your tummy?
What is that?
- [Beautician] My
gurgling plughole.
- Okay.
(laughs)
(Caron snoring)
(laughs)
- So relaxing.