Kingdom Hospital (2004): Season 1, Episode 5 - Hook's Kingdom - full transcript

Dr. Hook to Trauma 1.

Stat.

Welcome back to the Kingdom.

We've been expecting you.

Should I finish him off?

Knock yourself out.

Officer Anderson?

What's wrong?

Priscilla just left Gene for Richard...

but she'll be sorry...

because Gene is the talented one.



I'm going to need to look
under that cloth, ma'am.

I don't see why.
It's a cut-down tray for an IV.

Mr. Pedersen was in there for 24 hours
with no security...

and nobody assassinated him.

Well, that was an oversight.

Can I look under the cloth, ma'am?

Not until you call me Carrie.

No.

I'm through fooling around.

Antubis, come.

What the hell is that?

A problem,
but not an insurmountable problem.

Mary.

Through here.



Little girl.

You're awake.

Can you open your eyes again,
Mr. Rickman?

Peter?

Were you dreaming of a little girl?

She needs help.
The other one wants to hurt her.

The old lady will hear me. Please.

He woke up. He spoke to me.

Really? What did he say?

Something about a little girl.
And then he went back to sleep again.

Dr. Hook said that even if words
and their meanings were lost on him...

that the sound of a voice
would comfort him, so...

This is 19 hours' worth.

This is Silence in Babylon.

Look at you.

Mrs. Rickman.

Nat, he did speak, and that's a good sign.

The best.

All right.

Here goes.

"On a windy night in November...

"when the streets of New York City
were still glazed with ice...

"and not even the buses were moving...

"a young man named Eugene Gant...

"ducked into a coffee shop
on Second Avenue."

He pulled a greasy notebook
and broken pencil from his coat.

- Morning, Nat.
- Morning.

You got him listening, I see.

Well, it was your idea.

And if it works, I get the credit.

If it doesn't, I don't get the blame.

Carrie said that he spoke a little
just before I came in.

It was something about a little girl.

There's a woman I'd like to bring in
to see your husband, if you don't mind.

- A doctor?
- No.

Actually, it's another patient,
a woman named Sally Druse...

and she seems to...

This is going to sound crazy,
but she seems to have...

some psychic talents.

You're kidding.

Actually, I'm not.

What in the world
are you talking about, Dr. Hook?

Well, I'm not sure that I can explain,
but I'll try.

Now, how many of you
had the chance to read at least...

let's say, the first third of the book?

I read it all, Rev. Jimmy.

I couldn't put it down.

And what did you make of it, Jack?

It's pretty clearly an existential struggle
between purpose and lack of purpose...

in this case, symbolised
by Gene Gant's inability to finish his book...

or commit to Priscilla.

And the hot, steamy sex.
You forgot to mention that one, didn't you?

Frankie, what you doing? Sit down.

We all have an equal chance
to discuss the book, you know that.

All right.

He's in the freakout zone now, Rev. Jimmy.
You better watch out.

Frank, do you have something
you'd like to say about the book?

I shot a harpoon at Daniel Boone.

Frankie, baby. Come on now, sit down.

Be quiet.

Frank, do you have something
you'd like to say about this week's book?

I shot a harpoon at Daniel Boone.

The little girl will be here soon.

Her name is Mary, and that's not all.
There's a bad boy, too, his name is Paul.

Have another shot of rubbing alcohol,
there, Frankie.

I wrote this book in wombat butter.
Hamstrings running west.

Don't be cruel, stay in school.
Wasted voodoo.

He hit the painter and jumped off the roof.

I think you should sit down.

Tony's a phoney. It's all baloney.

Osama's a farmer. Mother's your best bet.
And don't let Satan draw you too fast.

I want you to sit down
and catch your breath.

I'll get you a glass of water.

A lonely man danced, a thousand came.

I think I lost it.
Let me know if you come across it.

Oh, the dog biscuits!
When he's happy, he don't get snappy.

I don't want harmony. I want harmony.
I want French-Canadian bean soup.

Sadness is a turnpike
at 2:00 in the morning.

And all the radio preachers foaming.

Frank, just sit down, catch your breath.

- It's all right.
- Easy now.

The sidewalk was in trouble,
and the bears were in trouble.

And the doctor killed the boy,
and the boy wouldn't stay dead.

She screamed out green smoke.

Let him alone.

What's wrong?

It's in my head.

It wants to undress my future.

What future?

My poor head is exploding.

We need to pray.

It's trying to get out and it hurts.

All out for the circus...

and Mary rings her bell.

- What do we do, Reverend?
- I don't know.

MC Frank.

Eminem, eat your heart out.

- Is he alive?
- Yes.

Someone call the hospital.

Why do you do that to me, Hook?

I understand
you're joining the Keepers tonight.

- Idiocy.
- You'll be fine.

There's the initiation ceremony, of course.

No one's been hurt, well, seriously hurt...

since Dr. Fulcher lost the tip of his tongue,
but that was, what, back in 1999?

The last century.

What are you talking about?

Dr. Stegman to OR 1. Dr. Stegman, stat.

Sounds like you've got a live one.

- What do we have?
- I am not a physician.

I am not allowed to interpret scan results.

- It's a tumour.
- I know that, infant.

- What kind of tumour?
- Glioblastoma multiforme.

That's Latin for "there's a homicidal octopus
growing inside his brain."

Lord...

we pray for our brother...

poor old Frank.

He is afflicted and suffering.

We ask that you surround him in your love.

Can you guys tell me
what kind of episode he had?

He started channelling Marshall Mathers
on the Eminem network.

He seen the Holy Spirit
and started speaking in tongues.

He just went crazy, that's all.

Gloves, anybody?

- How are you today?
- Fine.

So in closing,
let me sum up my basic points.

There are five. The first is
that Operation Morning Air is new.

The second is
that Operation Morning Air is cheap.

Yes, Julie?

Dr. James, there are...

- two employees here to see you.
- Send them in.

They say they can't come in
until you tell them they can.

Abel, Christa. What an unexpected pleasure.
Come in, do come in.

- May we?
- May we really?

Yes, by all means. Hold my calls.

So nice to see you up in the sunlight.

Coffee? Julie makes
the most wonderful dry roast.

- We don't swallow caffeine drinks.
- Except for Nozz-a-la.

Well, I make it a point to have one myself...

every four years or so.

So what can I do you for?

We've never asked for a favour before,
have we?

No, never.

But we'd like a favour now.

Anything I can do. Anything.

- He looks a little like Elmer.
- What?

Elmer Traff.

Well, if you say so.

It's just jelly...

to prevent corneal abrasions during surgery.

Nurse Hinton, do you want to move
the instrument tray in a little closer, please?

- Yes, Doctor.
- Thank you.

I'm fine here.

Nurse, would you put on the Beethoven...

- and don't spare the volume.
- Yes, Doctor.

One, two, three, okay.

This is a homeless person, I believe.

So I hear, Doctor.

I'm not going to bite you, Doctor...
What's your name? Goopta?

- Gupta, sir.
- Gupta. Goopta.

Stegman and Goopta. That's marvellous.

But you may want to go a little wider
with the flap here...

allow yourself more room
to accommodate the swelling.

Less distortion and brain shift
for the neuronav.

Okay, everybody, are we ready?

Anything on the MRI report, Dr. Goopta?

Gupta, sir.

We can resect the main tumour mass
and biopsy for a definitive diagnosis.

But these margins
are too near the blood supply.

Well, it's too near the blood supply
of a vagrant, Goopta.

You won't be paid for any good you do...

and the medi-mal lawyers
won't hear about your boo-boos.

Time to learn.

You look wonderful in that.

It's the same as yours.

You look better. I've been looking for you.

I want to talk to you
about Rickman and Mrs. Druse.

- Is Mrs. D still seeing ghosts?
- Afraid so.

I've seen something even worse.
Look at this.

Take care. Needles.

No, not in this one.

It's just...

Thousands of dollars worth of medicine
in my hands...

and all of it is past the use-by date.

It's very sad.

The waste in this place is very sad.

Why are you smiling?

It's not just this, you know.

I've had a request in...

for a phase-contrast microscope
since last year.

I need it for my Parkinson's
and L-Dopa studies...

so one finally comes in,
and do you know where Steg routes it?

- Lou Traff and the sleep lab.
- Yes.

Where they already have one.

Two?

Would you like to see
the real Kingdom, Chris?

Let me get this straight.
You actually saw this little ghost girl?

I saw something.

And Mrs. Druse believes that
Peter Rickman knows something about her?

- Right.
- Even though he's in a coma?

I don't believe him to be in a coma,
but that's close enough.

And she also believes that he's in danger?

From what, the spirits?

Perhaps she'll tell us that herself.

Hop on.

Next stop, Hook's kingdom.

I enjoy these indigent patients, Dr. Goopta.

The hospital does not enjoy them, sir.
They cannot pay.

If they can't pay, they can't complain.

You got it?

See, this lesion is being
extremely aggressive.

This lesion is being a spiral galaxy
of malignant cells.

Don't look at me. He's all the way under.

Don't look at me, I am all the way under.

Take the spiral galaxy out of my head.

I should have left a trail of bread crumbs.

Blondie would just come along
and eat them.

My God, we must be under
the new parking garage by now.

Further. If you dig straight up,
you'd be on the other side of Lyngby Road.

- Watch out.
- Got it.

Now are you sure he's under?

He's maxed for his body weight.
I can't give him any more.

You see, neurosurgeons must learn
to perform under pressure...

unlike other lesser physicians,
like anaesthesiologists...

who can't seem to do their job.

So you think you can close up
that nut there, Dr. Goopta?

It's Gupta.

That's what I'm saying. Gupta. Goopta.

All right, calm down.

Premature waking is not unheard of...

especially when the gas passer...

is manifestly incompetent.

Good afternoon.

Sir? I think you're going to find yourself...

feeling a lot better...

not to mention a pound or two lighter.

There's an angel standing
beside you, Doctor.

Yes, an angel. I'm sure.

You should take that as a compliment,
my dear.

Now, do we have a whiff of something
for our vigorous vagrant here?

She has a bell.

I don't understand any of this.

There was another hospital here until 1939.

Private, but very well-endowed.

Gottreich Hospital.

Those who remember it,
and their numbers shrink daily...

call it the Old Kingdom.

- What happened to it?
- Burned to the ground.

This is all that remains of the Old Kingdom.

- She has a bell.
- A bell.

Do you have to?

Yeah, I'm afraid we have to re-intubate you,
Mr. Whatever-your-name-is.

Will you hurry up, please,
before he vomits and aspirates?

Lmbecile. Get the Ambu-Bag.

- Dr. Stegman, I didn't...
- All right.

Whatever happens now, the surgery
on his nut was a splendid success.

Good luck with his ticker,
ladies and gentlemen.

This lesson is over,
Dr. Goopta, Gupta, whatever.

If the patient doesn't live
to appreciate our work...

that's a few more dollars the city can devote
to those damned Somalis.

He should be up on charges.

Yeah, put it in writing. I'm signing it.

- Sure your immigration papers are in order?
- Yeah, perhaps you're right.

Perhaps my mind is being changed.
Can you roll this crash cart closer, please?

Clear.

You might want to keep your arms inside.

You want to try it again, Dr. Gupta?

No, he's gone.

So what? He's just being a street person,
as the excellent Dr. Stegman was telling us.

He called you an angel.

He wasn't looking at me.

You know, he looks a little more like Elmer
with his eyes closed, don't you think?

A little, maybe.

Yeah, but mostly right now,
he's looking dead. Cover him, please.

Welcome to my home.

- You don't really live here?
- I do.

Be it ever so humble, and all that jazz.

- I have to make a call.
- Sure.

You look much nicer in yours.

You aren't going to tell me
all of that is hospital supplies?

Even the Bible says,
"Take a little wine for thy belly's sake."

It was originally intended
for the terminals on Sunshine ward...

and the Alzheimer's patients, of course.

A little wine perks them up amazingly.

Yeah, I've read the studies.

It got diverted down here
by a conservative contingent...

who believe the only job alcohol has
in a hospital is to swab out wounds.

The more it stings, the better.

The champagne is excellent.
I have a bottle in the fridge. Join me?

It's a little early, don't you think?

The sun's over the yardarm
somewhere in the world.

Besides, I want to show you something
before Mrs. D gets here.

What do you say?

- I say yes.
- Good girl.

- Orderly.
- Yes, Doctor?

Do you know what kind of car I drive?

No.

Finish this quote:

"Physician, heal thy..."

Heal thy what?

"Physician, heal thy what." Good.

I've found the moron du jour.
Have a lovely day.

Excuse me.
I don't suppose you're Mr. Goode?

Are you?

Nope. Jackie Gleason.

Just like in The Honeymooners.

Norton.

Nice to meet you, Doc.

You don't know where Mr. Goode is?
Wait, don't tell me. His teeth.

Today, it's his wife's teeth.

But I could leave him a memo
if there's something you need, Doc.

Not at all. I'm just ducky.
Just quackingly perfect.

Good afternoon, Doctor.

Looks comfortable.

It is.

And like the fabled bicycle...

it's built for two.

Okay, what is it?

Right now,
I guess you might call it a hobby.

But some day...

There's a price to be paid
for evil and incompetence.

If I didn't believe that, I think I'd go mad.

Natalie, if only you knew I could see you.

If only you knew I was here.

Nat, I'm here.

If only you could just talk to me
and tell me what to do.

Psychic old ladies...

You know, a week ago
we would have laughed.

I'm not laughing now, babe.

I'm not laughing now.

Poor Peter.

You have to be careful.

How can I be careful when I can't move?

Can't talk?

Where's Antubis?

I don't know.

See, the small crosses indicate a mistake
and the larger crosses indicate malpractice.

- Mona Klingerman, for example...
- Mona is not dead.

It might be better for her
if she was. And her parents.

Not to mention Steg.

I see you have me down for Steven Brodky.

That was a mistake, not malpractice.
Look at the size of the cross.

Give him 400.

I calculated a 400-milligram dose...

two milligrams per pound
for a 200-pound male.

Except it was supposed
to be two milligrams per kilogram.

- So it should have been 180 millis?
- Yeah, of course.

But I was thinking about tennis.

Rosella Winston and I had a doubles match
that afternoon...

and those two self-confident witches
had already beaten us. Twice.

Give him 400.

I need to remember to go to my backhand.

Lona Massingale was there, too.
In fact, she gave the injection.

But it's not her name
in your little graveyard, is it?

There's no crosses in Lona's row.

Lona never takes the lead on anything,
you know that.

I had a teacher in med school,
talked about OR fever.

- Lona has got a classic case of it.
- Never mind.

You're right, I ordered the injection...

because I was thinking about tennis,
so I mixed up pounds and kilograms.

Tell me, Hook, who made you
judge, jury and executioner?

I've been as hard on myself
as anyone else. Harder.

I noticed that.
Which is why I haven't walked out of here.

Give him 400.
I need to remember to charge the net.

Give him 400.
I need to remember to wait on the lob.

And also, you're right.

I screwed up.

Maybe.

There are degrees.

What are you going to do with this?

I don't know.

But it doesn't end here, does it?

No, I've got tapes, photos, records...

enough to blow
half the doctors in here sky high.

Including yourself?

For that street person there alone...

I was hung over.

But what the hell,
just a street person, right?

One less chair at the AA meeting
on Thursday night.

I just pronounced you dead.

What the hell are you talking about?

Well, maybe it was being your twin brother.

Can you meet me in the morgue
in half an hour?

You'll be amazed, I promise you.

Okay. Half an hour.

That'd be Mrs. D.

Will you stay for this?

I really need you.

If it involves getting
Stegman's panties in a bunch, I'm in.

Thank you.

I would give anything to take it back.

- Do you believe that?
- Oh, yeah.

I feel the same way.

Do you believe that?

Yes, which is exactly
what makes your little hobby so grotesque.

I believe that's for the lady.

Here you are, Dr. Draper.

Take a look and see if it's what you want.

There are three in the annex,
all a little different.

If it's wrong, I'll take it back.

Is it right?

It's perfect.

Bobby, hold this, honey, please.

Dr. Hook, what is all this?

Those.

Oxydomin, the latest in designer opiates.
90% pain relief, zero narcotic high.

The approximate value of what you've got
in your hands there, Mrs. D...

$30,000.

I'm sure the price will go down
once they start mass production.

What is it doing here?

That's a long story.

- Champagne?
- Lf you're buying, I'm drinking.

Me, too.

After you.

Wait till you see this.

It's being the spitting image of you.
That's your twin brother.

I don't see it.

There. Now do you see it?

Yeah, maybe.

I mean, he's heavier, but I'm telling you,
that could be your twin brother.

Come on, a little more.

How do you like that, you fleabag?

Now, die here.

Antubis!

Natalie. Help her.

You're mine now, short time.

You're all mine.