King of the Road (2016-…): Season 3, Episode 8 - Dusted in the Desert - full transcript

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---
Please do not attempt to perform
any of these stunts

or activities in this show.

They are super dangerous.

Crazy, wild dangerous.

The stunts seen are either
performed by professionals

or under the supervision
of professionals.

Serious professionals.

This show also contains
bad language.

♪♪

We won!

King of the Road is over!
We won!



Sinclair: They think
this is the finish line.

We got four more days.

You're not gonna win,
you don't go to this shit.

...stay home.

♪♪

Man:
Oh.

Man:
Oh, shit.

You handled it
like a champ, Jaws.

I just had to say, like,

I wasn't gonna...
ditch out on this.

Burnett:
If Tyson gets this,

100% he is going to win
gnarliest handrail.

♪♪

Silva: Ooh!
Foy: Oh!



Oh...I know that feeling
way too well.

Yeah!

♪ Raw oysters, Texas Pete ♪
Sinclair: Bring it on home!

♪ Sea urchin on the reef ♪
Oh, my God!

♪ Sour cheeseburger bit to eat ♪
Double double front flip!

♪ Lick butter goes with keef ♪

♪ Into the cocoa leaf ♪
Man: Oh, my God!

♪ Fresh maggots on my teeth,
they're cheap ♪

♪ Oh, baby ♪

[ Whistling ]
It's time to go skateboarding.

[ Rooster crows ]

Who's pooping?
Who's peeing?

We did it!

I love you guys.

Roy: What the...
♪ Oh, baby ♪

King of the...road!

I did not sign up
for this.

[ Down‐tempo music plays ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

Brock:
It's the 10th day.

We're a little bit beat down ‐‐
at least Jack is.

Man:
Can I see it?

It hasn't stopped bleeding
either.

Really?
Look at my bed.

Oh, shit.

Last night, Jack had a meeting
with Tom Brokoff.

It was a last‐minute
meeting.

[ Grunts ]

[ Laughing ] That was...
Didn't even look that bad,

and we were just laughing
at him, and then this morning,

he's like a Georgia peach
that's been battered.

♪ In the morning he wakes up ♪

♪ He's unfamiliar... ♪

Coffee, sir.

Thanks.

♪ Thirty seconds ago ♪

♪ Although he doesn't really
need to know where he's been ♪

Oh, my God.
Sinclair:
Get in the...van, dude.

Smells like a party.
Day 10.

There's some very strange smells
coming out of that van.

I've been smelling, like,
dirty coffee.

Can't ‐‐ Can't spot it.

I got to...clean
this van out, man.

Is that someone's food
back there?

This is supposed to be
board storage.

Oh, n‐‐ Hey, who left
the chicken wings?

There's 19 chicken wings
where the boards go.

That's one of the weird smells
down. [ Chuckles ]

This sauce has been in here
for about a week.

[ Chuckles ]
Mm.

Anybody need
a little pick‐me‐up?

Man:
That's not yours, huh, Mike?

No. It wasn't on my side.

But if I would've seen it
earlier ‐‐

whoo! ‐‐ it'd have been done.

Look at that trash bag.
Day 10 ‐‐ first clean‐out.

That should be worth something.

Don't clean out the van for
the entire trip ‐‐ 20 points.

[ Laughter ]
Burnett: At this point,

I know they're running out
of gas.

But all the challenges today

are gonna take these guys
off the beaten path

and rekindle their stoke
in life on the road.

Dude.
You...

This dude's got eagle eyes.

Stop it.

[ Chanting ]
Read it. Read it.

All right.

"Element Sunday
city challenge ‐‐

Be at this location by noon
and await instructions."

So when I hit the location...
it's the Salton Sea.

Oh, nice.
It's a good one.

Yeah. We're going
to Salvation Mountain.

Behind it, there's a drainage
ditch that's skateable.

There's this massive
launch ramp.

It's some gnarly shit.

Like, there's gonna be
some gnarly challenges.

Mandatory acid‐taking.

Yeah.
Oh, mandatory acid‐taking.

So gnarly.
That's the challenge.

Yeah!

Man: Bam's still in the van.
Yeah.

To Salton Sea.
[ Down‐tempo music plays ]

All right, Mike.
Where are we going?

Come on.
The suspense is killing me, man.

We're going to Palm Springs.

Oh...
We got to go to Palm Springs

and knock out
a shitload of challenges.

Then the next city's at 4:00,

So we got to get
to Palm Springs, knock this out,

then go somewhere else.

Two cities near the end.

That takes away from the checks.

Cole, you ready?

Wilson:
I'm so ready, Mike.

[ Yawns ]

[ Laughs ]

Palm Springs.
Holy shit.

How far is Palm Springs?

It's too far ‐‐
two hours.

♪♪

Servold:
When you're a skateboarder,

like, you spend so much time
in a van.

Hey, can Aidan and I get
a beer?

Of course.
Of Coors.

Servold: Just hanging out with
the bros, like, drinking beers,

talking about just life.

It's like you live in it.

I smell ‐‐
I smell Mexican food in here.

Who's got, like, a beef dip
or something?

Yeah. Who the...
A beef dip?

Servold:
When I was a kid,

I moved around,
like, a little bit,

and, like,
I never felt like I had a home.

The place I feel most at home
is in a team van,

driving somewhere ‐‐ like,
on the road, on the highway.

Like, that's where
it all goes down.

Wilson: Being in the van
is...great.

We're just, like,
all just chitchatting,

like, shooting the shit, talking
shit, just having laughs.

Nice.

You were...

[ Laughter ]
No, you were not, Mike.

And I was just sitting here.
Let me stop.

I was like this.
I was like...

[ Laughter ]

I guess we thought you left.
Technically it was a threesome.

[ Laughter ]

[ As Andy Roy ]
Check!

Campbell:
God damn it, dude.

I guess our bond
got a little deeper.

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

[ Engine revs, horn honks ]

Huston: Being in that van
for two weeks was harsh.

That thing was disgusting.

Holy shit.

Shit.

Yeah, I just pulled
a orange out of my shit.

That was pretty bun.
That's pretty bun.

I think being in the van
for this long,

people can get annoyed
and just a little bit on edge.

Just stop, Madars.
Can you just stop?

Cole thinks ‐‐
Just stop.

It's hard.
You're close together.

You're literally touching
each other at all times

'cause we had 11 people
in the van.

But yeah, I mean, our group,
everyone gets along.

You just got to give each other
space when they need it.

Being in the van,
there's times where, like,

you just ‐‐ you want to be alone
or whatever.

But they're all your friends,

and we've known each other
for so long,

and so we're all
just really comfortable.

[ Music continues ]

Sinclair: Hey, we got to make
this stop really quick.

I know I say it every day,
but I'm gonna say it again.

A little snack break
on our way to the desert.

Glick went to get
a cheeseburger.

Small one.
A little cheeseburger.

I can poop in there.
Do you think?

Glick's so far the MVP.

Campbell:
Is it gonna be a wet poop, dude?

I hope not.
I can't call it.

Man: Who's to say?
Who's to...say, man?

[ Laughter ]

Cruysberghs: One of the
challenges is a team rider

has to, like, poop in this box
in the van, windows shut,

and then the driver
has got to eat a burger.

But Mike's like, "Yeah.
I can't do it."

I can't ‐‐
I can't get in the back.

I got to be first out.

So he asked me to drive
and eat the burger.

Burger.

Man: Ow.
Axel, let me see that.

I did not sign up for this.
[ Down‐tempo music plays ]

♪ What would you have me do? ♪

♪ Sit here and wait for you? ♪

Sinclair: Hey, Glick,
give us all fair warning.

[ Fart ]
Please! God!

Tell me
when it's coming.

Campbell:
Axel, go on. Eat it.

I'm trying.
I need to drive.

♪ Let it out ♪
[ Grunts ] I got it.

♪ Let it break you down,
let it go ♪
Sinclair: Oh, God.

[ Fart ]

There's a little baby turd
in there.

Sinclair: Oh, God.
A little peanut‐butter turd.

Oh, my God.
Look at it, Mike.

Oh, no.
Get it off me.

♪ Breathe it in,
breathe it out ♪

♪ And turn around ♪
Close the box!

I got to wipe.

Sinclair:
Axel, how much more you got?
Yeah, I'm done.

Oh, he ‐‐ he's done. He's done.
He's done. He's done. Pull over.

Merlino:
There's a fly in here too.

Eat it, Nick. Eat the fly.
No more...flies!

Sinclair:
Get the fly, Nick!

I think I got it.

Oh, my God.
You did.

You got to eat the fly,
Nick.

I...hate
you...guys!

[ Laughter ]

Eat the fly.
Sinclair: Oh, Nick, get the fly!

♪ Oh, can't stop the heart ♪

♪ Stop breaking ♪

♪ We hold on ♪

Sinclair: 150!

♪ We hold on ♪
[ Laughter ]

How the...did you catch
that thing, man?

It was going from his shit.
It was landing
on his shit, dude!

I think we definitely won
the Bug's Life challenge.

[ Laughter ]

Merlino:
We win for sure.

Damn it.
That's...gross.

150!

[ Laughter ]

Hey, boys, we did it.

Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...

Brock:
Poppin' bottles.

We're getting litty.

Bitch.
Bish.

[ Up‐tempo music plays ]

Man:
Whoo!

Homoki: Damn. Didn't know
where I was for a minute.

[ Vocalizing ]

Brock:
I got the text.

Chima,
read the challenge.

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

"Fill this shopping list
and go to this address.

Two dozen eggs,
pancake mix and oil,

two gallons of orange juice,
four bottles of champagne."

Whoa.
Mimosas!

Brook:
Mimosa!

Wright:
Let's go cook up.

We got our challenges today.

We have to go pick up the stuff
at the grocery store...

Yeah.
Bottom shelf.

...and then going to an address,
and we don't know

whose house it is yet,
so it's gonna be a surprise.

Brook: Are we about to get into
some shit right now?

I'm kind of nervous.

What if we pull up and
all the other teams are there

and we have a cook‐off?
[ Laughter ]

Wright:
I'm winning this cook‐off.

Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!

Wakey, wakey!

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

Hey!

Man: Oh!
Oh, my God.

You guys ready
to flip some pancakes?

So Real gets to meet up
with Nora Vasconcellos.

You know Nora. She was
a mystery guest last year.

She's kind of a classic skater,
like the kind I grew up with.

Top‐notch transition skills.

She's part
of the proud tradition

of skateboarding as fun,
so that includes karaoke,

dance parties,
cuddling with cats.

So today they're gonna
get to have a Nora‐themed day

with all the things she likes.

So what we're going to do

is you guys are going to cook me
a pancake breakfast.

And before this all happens,

I need you guys
to get on your jammies.

Ooh.

Nice.

These are, like, onesies.

I'm gonna be offering
some spa time,

and we're gonna be getting
our nails done.

Man: What?
Man: What?
Man: Finally.

Nora, she knows how it goes
on King of the Road.

And go put that on.

I think she's hooking us up
'cause she's been ‐‐

She's like, "Yeah.

Y'all probably just been dealing
with some shit."

Get comfy.

She says, "Get comfy."

Man:
Get comfortable!

I've never been on a trip
like King of the Road.

Gravette:
Oh, it's burning my ass.

Everything is turned up to 100.

Crowd:
Oh!

There's no leisure.

Like, sleeping is the only
leisure time

that you get
on King of the Road,

and even that
can be interrupted.

We're about to party.

[ Up‐tempo music plays ]

Olson:
Oh! Pop it.

What's up, bitches?
[ Laughs ]

♪♪

Mmm! Mimosa.
Mmm!

♪ Hangin' with my crew ♪

♪ What you gonna do? ♪

Nora is awesome.

That was, like, a good break

from all the chaos
and craziness.

We got to hang out in nightgowns
all day.

[ Cork pops ]
Man: Whoa!

I don't remember.
We had a couple mimosas.

♪ Sexy ladies, work it, baby ♪

Bitch.
Bish.

♪♪

Whip it!
Whip it!

Brook: What's harder ‐‐
flipping a pancake

or switch tre flipping?

I couldn't tell you 'cause
I've never flipped a pancake.

Chima's first flip.

Olson: Don't be trippin' when
Chima's pancakes be flippin'.

Damn.

♪♪

That's not that bad.

Brock: Yeah, man.
It looks good.

♪♪

What's the grossest thing
that's gone down?

Had did ‐‐ What?

♪♪

Oh, my God.
Ugh.

Robbie also took a shit
in the van

while Justin ate a cheeseburger,
and he shit in the box.

[ Laughter ]

[ Coughs ]

Brook: So bad.
It smells bad, though.

[ Coughs ]

Olson:
Handled it.

That's so...gnarly.

♪ All the girls in the club ♪

Poppin' bottles.

♪♪

Dough‐nut mind if I do.

Don't mind ‐‐
[ Laughs ]

Dough‐nut mind if I do.

[ Bottles clanking ]

Damn. We whipped through
that champagne real quick.

Real quick.

[ Up‐tempo music plays ]

Smith: It kind of just looks
like we're driving to nothing.

Mathews:
It says that we're here.

This is interesting.

Apse:
We're at a crossroads, dudes.

Today we decided to have
the Element Team come out

and meet Erick Winkowski
out in the middle of nowhere.

Smith:
Winkowski!

[ Men cheering ]

♪♪

This guy is sort of a legend in
the making around skateboarding.

♪♪

Right here we have
Erick Winkowski,

one of the dudest dude‐‐
brutust dudes alive.

Dudest dudes?
The dudest dudes of dudes.

All these guys love
Erick Winkowski.

...yeah!

He's resurrected
some long‐lost tricks.

When you see him,
he's, like, the session stopper.

When he shows up,
everybody just kind of sits down

and goes like, "Whoa."

He just loves being
on the board.

Him and his buddies skated
all the way from Canada

down the West Coast
to Tijuana, Mexico, in 101 days.

This is our city challenge.

All healthy team members skate
2.5 miles

through the desert road
to Slab City.

[ Inhales sharply ]
Ouch.

At the halfway point,

everyone must chug a can
of cold raviolis.

I don't like ravioli.
All right.

I mean, I'm not
the biggest fan, but...

Yeah, let's do this.
Oh, they're mini raviolis.

That's 100 points.
For days.

Burnett: Erick sometimes
wouldn't even stop to eat.

He'd just crack a can
of cold ravioli.

And then they got
to carry a watermelon,

because when he was on
this trip,

he was carrying a minimum
of 50 pounds on his back.

So the least these guys can do
is carry a watermelon.

All right, boys.

You know the direction?
You know where we're going?

Yeah.
Just down that road.

Smith:
Holy...Kowski.

I'm stoked. I'm hyped that we
get a challenge with him.

...yeah.

We going?

Oh, yeah.
Single file.

[ Down‐tempo music plays ]

♪♪

♪ Down a lonely trail
at twilight ♪

♪ Golden sunset floods
the West ♪

♪ Rides an old
and weary cowboy ♪

[ Indistinct shouting ]

♪ He's going home to rest ♪

Special delivery.

♪ And he scans the trail
before him ♪

♪ As he tops a last long rise ♪

♪ Of last long hill out yonder ♪

[ Can clatters ]

♪ And our cowboy's gone
to rest ♪

♪ He's going home to rest ♪

Roy:
Next, on "King of the Road"...

Slab City, it's like that
movie "Mad Max" in real life.

Oh!
Buckled!

[ Laughter ]

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

Sinclair:
I'm gonna read the challenges.

Hey, Dakota, Cole,
can you hear me?

Yep.
Yeah.

Nick, pay attention.

We need one flip trick,
one grab,

one varial trick, one footplant,

and then I'll make up
a trick of my own ‐‐ 100 points.

Whoever gets it first.

Just everybody work on it

so we can get the...out
of Palm Springs.

[ Sighs ] I hate everything
about Palm Springs.

On a normal day,
this is 130 degrees,

blowing, hot hair‐dryer winds.

No one's supposed to live here.
We're not supposed to be here.

Terrible, terrible place.

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

Servold: Belgium's new, hottest
sensation ‐‐ Cruysberghs.

Wilson:
Damn. He soared.

Campbell: I think we got
the best mystery guest for sure.

Big rails, tranny, ditches ‐‐
He can see everything.

Yeah. Where do you want me?
Like this?

Yes. Okay.
Oh. For days.

Right?
Just don't hit my lower back.

[ Wheels rolling ]

♪♪

Sinclair:
Whoo!

Yes!

After Cruysberghs,
fast plank Cole Wilson.

♪ Everybody looks at me
kind of strange ♪

Flip trick down.

Merlino: Damn it.
I wanted to do the flip trick.

I'm gonna do it anyways.

♪ Like there's nothing here
in my brain ♪

♪ Well, I can't blame them ♪

Nick, that one's already done!
I want to do it, though!

Pay attention! Just need a grab!
We got to get out of here!

God damn it, man.

♪ I can't blame them
for the way I am ♪

♪ It's all my fault ♪

I never heard of just a varial.
Like a body varial?

Well, the guy that wrote
these challenges

is from the '80s,
all right?

So it's a shove‐it.
A shove‐it is a varial trick.

♪ Higher ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

Cruysberghs: Whoo!
♪ The same idiot ♪

We got all the written
challenges?

Team manager's choice ‐‐
front‐side 360.

♪ And say it again ♪

Oh! So good.

Campbell:
Well done.

[ Whistles ]

Foundation Team.
Servold: What's up, Mike?

We're gonna get shiftied.

Okay.
I believe you.

One of the tricks of the book
was, uh, shifty the team,

so this is a perfect spot.

Are you just putting it up
in the air?
Yeah.

Aah!
Oh!

[ Laughter ]

Mike, can you grab me a beer?
He needs a beer for the photo.

Mike.
Why don't you guys hold up
a set of wheels or something?

A set of wheels?

Why don't you hold up
everybody's pro models?

[ Laughs ]

Beer's been the holdup
of this entire trip.

Mike, we're trying to win
this trophy for you, man.

Well, I appreciate it.
You're the poor bastard

who's on this trip four times
and lost every one.

I know.

Got the best team.

All right, Mike. Get in there.
One. And I'll get it.

They all love each other.
Having a good time.

Come here, Mike.

We got snacks.
We got snacks, buddy.

In here, Mike.

Cruysberghs: All right, boys.
This one.

♪♪

[ Cheering ]

That was a shifty.

Oh, now we're going
to the new bowl, people.

More beers.
More beers.

We literally have left a trail
of Coors Lights from Reno.

[ Laughter ]

[ Down‐tempo music plays ]

Smith:
Slab City.

♪♪

[ Insects chirping ]

Mathews:
Yeah.

It's just state land
where people can just do

whatever the...they want.

But out here, people are pretty
protective of their shit.

♪♪

Apse:
It's Slab City.

It's like that movie "Mad Max"
in real life.

There's no rules.

There's consequences,
but there's no rules.

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

People are just out there
living,

and they're doing their life,
but they respect skaters.

Skaters have been coming out
here for the last 10 or so years

because there's
this giant swimming pool.

For today's challenge,
they got to get three tricks

up the big euro gap,
including a flip trick.

Yeah.

Whoa.
Bowman: Yeah, Nyjah.

They got to head the other way

and ollie from the top
into the euro gap...

Silva:
Whoo! That's sketchy.

...which is truly terrifying.

Oh!

Hectic.

There's this weird pole jam
in the corner,

so they got to get pole jam
to wall ride through the corner.

Apse: Ow.
Mathews: Are you okay?

Yeah, Madars.

It smells like piss.

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

You pee in here?

And then we're here
with Winkowski,

so they got to do a handplant.

♪♪

Wow.
Wow!

Margera:
His inverts are proper.

He's got them on lockdown.

Bowman:
Right here, Evan!

♪♪

[ Groans ]
Damn it.

Am I getting upside down at all?

Thumbs up.

♪♪

Man: Yes.

Mathews:
You got it?

Man:
Yeah, Evs.

Hey!

I don't know whose dog this is.
But he's tight.

All right. We're gonna get it
right here, boy.

Mathews:
Yeah, Madars.

♪♪

Oh, there we go.

Hey. Let's go.
Let's go.

Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!

You want to go?

You want to go?

♪♪

Oh!
Yeah!

Yeah, Madars!

Mathews:
Yeah, Madars!

Hey, hey. Come here.
Come here.

Hey.
[ Barks ]

♪♪

Geez.

Foy: That euro gap,
it's not meant for skating.

It's just, like, a random pool
from back in the day,

so that transition coming up,
it kind of goes pretty quick,

and then it goes straight up.

Oh!
Buckled!

[ Laughter ]

I knew that was gonna happen.

Foy: Kind of hard to get
the speed and everything.

But yeah, it's just crazy
'cause, I mean,

it's just a street spot
in the middle of nowhere.

♪♪

Oh! Way ‐‐

♪♪

...me.

♪♪

No...way!
Damn it.

♪♪

Apse:
Where are the other teams at?

Are they in the middle
of nowhere like us?

[ Dead or Alive's
"You Spin Me Round" playing ]

♪ If I could get to know
your name ♪

[ Indistinct shouting ]

♪ Well, I ♪

♪ Should get to call your name ♪

♪ All I know is that to me, you
look like you're having fun ♪

♪ Open up your lovin' arms ♪

♪ I want some ♪

♪ You spin me right round, baby,
right round ♪

♪ Like a record, baby,
right round ♪

♪ Round, round ♪

♪ You spin me right round, baby,
right round ♪

♪ Like a record, baby,
right round ♪

♪ Round, round ♪

[ Music continues ]

♪ I ♪

♪ I've got to be your friend
now, baby ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ And I ♪

♪ Would like to move in
just a little bit closer ♪

Walker: I don't think either
of us are the best singers,

but, you know,
we were doing our thing.

♪ Open your lovin' arms ♪

♪ Watch out ♪

♪ Here I come ♪

♪ You spin me right round, baby,
right round ♪

♪ Like a record, baby,
right round ♪

♪ Round, round ♪

♪ You spin me right round, baby,
right round ♪

♪ Like a record, baby,
right round ♪

♪ Round, round ♪

♪ You spin me right round, baby,
right round ♪

♪ Like a record, baby,
right round ♪

♪ Round, round ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Grab me the Henny!

Whoo!
Gutter, baby!

Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...

Servold:
That's a...chimney.

Nick.
You just stick your butt
in the tube.

You can put your butt
right in the tube.
That's the best one
you could ask for.

You could, like, sit in it.
You're our guy.

Cruysberghs:
Good, Nicky.

Champion, dude.

Oh, goodness.

Walker:
Always sexy, baby.

Always in ‐‐ oops ‐‐
a little underskirt.

[ Laughter ]

Thanks for the ribbons.
Okay, guys.

Here. Who needs a ribbon?
Walker: I don't know,

but I'm gonna go in there
and ribbon it up.

This is probably
way more exciting for me

than it is for them.

Oh, my God.
This is... fun!

Dude, these things are sick.
[ Up‐tempo heavy metal plays ]

Ferguson:
Whoa. Look at this shit.

Look at that shit.
Hey, look at this shit.

Wright: Yeah. Look at Justin's
got the technique.

Wow.
Wait a minute.

There's something
you didn't tell us, Justin.

I did do this in a play
in second grade.

[ Chuckles ]
Really?

[ Music continues ]

Yeah.

Let's go, doggies.

[ Music continues ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Brockel:
That was fun.

Yeah, you can do
some pretty things if you try.

Did you just say,
"You can do some pretty things"?

Yeah.
Look at how pretty that is.

Get your hand in there.
I want to see if I can...

Ooh.

Oh.

♪♪

Oh!

♪♪

Bless.
Bless the landing.

All right.
He's coming in hot.

Yeah!

My ass is out!

Hey!
Crushin' legs, bro!

[ Laughs ]
This shit's too funny.

Ferguson:
Right here!

Brock: Let's go, baby!
Let's go!

[ All cheering ]

♪♪

[ All cheering ]

That was...good.

♪♪

Oh!
Oh!

First team!

Oh, shit.
I wrapped it around your mike.

Whoo!

♪♪

All: Oh!

Brock: What, you can't see
'cause of your muumuu?

[ Laughs ]

This is how it used to be for us
in the 1800s,

so get used to it, okay?

♪♪

Oh!
Oh!
Oh!

♪♪

We just got...
tangled up, dude.

That shit tangled up
'n a mother...

We got a jam‐up
on our flags over here.

♪♪

Oh, boy!

Whoo!

That was...scary, dude.

♪♪

Who‐o‐o‐o‐o!

♪♪

The boys got their 100 points.

And yeah.
That's a wrap with me.

They killed it, as usual.

Really, really quickly,
so I don't know

what the...they're gonna do
the rest of the day.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

These things are really sick.

I might ‐‐ I might just buy
a bunch when I get home

and just be really, like, good
at it one day.

Double style.

Oh, God.

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

♪♪

Hi, Mom.

♪♪

It looks, like, impossible.

I bet you the first time they
came here, people were like,

"Dude, someone
should ollie up this,"

and a homie, like,
maybe just did it.

Now, we got to, like,
do three different tricks.

A little hectic,
but we got puppies.

We got good people.

♪♪

I think it's one of the sickest
things I've ever skated,

to be honest.

Oh!

This one's hard as...
but it's still so fun.

...bullshit!

He is going so fast.

The hard part of getting
the tricks up the euro gap

is just, like, figuring out
the speed and where to pop.

♪♪

Man: Oh!

Smith:
'Cause each challenge points,

if you don't do one,
you don't get any.

♪♪

Yeah, we were there for a while.

The sun was definitely
going down,

but we wanted to try to get
all the tricks we needed.

Jesus Christ.
This is taking so long.

♪♪

[ All cheering ]

Hey!
That so so sick!

That was smooth as...

[ Laughs ]
Right here, Jamie.

♪♪

Man: Oh!

Oh!

Man:
Oh, my God!

That was dope.
Wow.

Finally.
Damn.

That was sick as...

Four hours later.

♪♪

Foy:
Here, Nyjah.

♪♪

Oh!
There you go.

Winkowski: ...yeah, Nyjah.
That was sick.

[ Laughs ]

Foy: We got to ollie in.
I'll do that shit right now.

Man:
He's about to ollie in.

All right.
Right here.

♪♪

Smith:
Oh, my God! Yo!

Yeah, Jamie.

What the...dude?
Death wish.

♪♪

[ All cheering ]

Dude, they are awesome, man.

That was ‐‐ I didn't think
that one was going down.

It just happened.
It was so smooth.

That was a good one.

Smith:
Yes!

Sick.
Damn.

Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...

Mike,
where are we going?

"Your next city
is beautiful..."

No!
I don't like that place.

♪ Gonna get drunk, drunk,
drunk, drunk ♪

♪ Drunk and drunk and drunk
and drunk and drunk ♪

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

So we go to Nude Bowl now?
Nude Bowl now.

This should be worth some points
just to drive up in this thing.

Oh, we have to ‐‐

[ All shouting, cheering ]

That's like the van
last night.

[ Laughter ]

Servold: I'm so psyched
to go to Nude Bowl, dude.

Merlino: ...yeah.
There she is.

Here's what we know
about the Nude Bowl.

Apparently, back in the '50s
and '60s, it was the pool

at an infamous nudist colony
high up in the desert mountains.

By the '80s, the Nude Bowl
had fallen to shit,

and people started skating
the pool.

These guys are gonna get
to skate this sacred spot.

Wait.
What are all the tricks?

We all got to slash it.

We got to carve
and go over the stairs.

Man:
Oh...

Hey, Mike, is the challenge
for the front‐side slash ‐‐

Is it everyone
has to do it in a row?

Not in a row,
just everybody has to do it.

Just everyone has to touch it.
So everybody can work on it.

♪♪

Aah!
Dakota got it.

Yeah, bud.

A frontal.

I don't know if I got it
in me, man.

If, uh,
my body is a battery,

it's, like, the last red bar
and it's flashing.

It's, like ‐‐ Yeah.
It's 1%.

Yeah.

♪♪

Oh.
Man: Whoo!

Yeah, Coley.

Yeah, Aidan.

Yes.
Oh, man.

Get it, Nicky.

[ Music slows, stops ]

[ Groans ]
God!

I'm not doing
a front‐side grind, Mike.

Dakota got it.
He can't even skate anymore.

You have to do it, Nick.

Cruysberghs: You got to do it
for the team, man.

You got it, Nick.

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

Wilson:
Nicky did it.

Yes.

I suck at front side
so bad.

You ready?

Hell, yeah, we're ready.

♪♪

Servold:
Oh, my God!

That's our...guy.

Check.

♪♪

[ Grunts ]

Oh!

Axel's got it right here.

♪♪

Man: Ow!

Oh! Wow!
Yes!

Campbell:
Well, that's that.

Servold:
That's a...chimney.

Man:
Mike.

Does anybody need to shit
in the chimney?

'Cause that's the perfect one,
and you just ‐‐ right there.

Right in the chimney.

I literally just pooped, Mike.
I wouldn't know.

Nick...
Mike ‐‐

...you're our guy.
You just stick your butt
in the tube.

You can put your butt
right in the tube.
That's the best one
you could ask for.

That's the one, Nick.
You're our guy.

[ Farts ]

He's warming up.
He's warming up.

All right.
Somebody get me some TP.

Give me all that.
Yeah. I need all that.

Sinclair:
Chimney challenge.

We got St. Nick coming down
the chimney right now.

[ Laughter ]

[ Light music plays ]
[ Grunts ]

Oh, Don! Yes!
Great angle!

♪ Out jumps
good old Santa Claus ♪

♪ Down through the chimney
with lots of toys ♪

♪ All for the little ones'
Christmas joys ♪

Look at him. Look how he poops.
He's gonna get a brain aneurysm.

♪ Click, click, click ♪
[ Grunts ]

♪ Down through the chimney
with good St. Nick ♪

It has to just be
a little tiny turd, right?

Sinclair: You need to shit.
Mike, I just shit!

[ Laughter ]
...kill you!

♪ Ho, ho, ho,
who wouldn't go? ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho ♪
Hey, it still counts.
It said a shit.

"Take a dump."

I don't know if baby bird counts
as taking a dump.

Mike, it said,
"Take a shit and a dump," Mike.

It didn't say take a shit
and a dump.

Don't...with me, Mike.
[ Laughs ]

I told you.
They're little Hershey Kisses.

Servold:
Those aren't even kisses, dude.

It's not a dump.
A dump is, like, a dump.

That was an M&M.

A dump is like three‐quarters
to a pound.

Does anybody else
want to back up to the chimney?

No, he's got it.
I already shit.
He nailed it.

It's just pathetic.
All right. Let's pack it up.

♪ Down through the chimney ♪
[ Laughter ]

♪ With good St. Nick ♪

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

Olson:
What the...

Dude, that's...gnarly.

We got done with Nora's
challenges at the skate park.

In the next 10 or 15 minutes,
we should get our next city,

which is gonna be Vegas.

Pay attention.
Next city is here.

Mike,
where are we going?

Doc, you want to
read us that?

What we got here?
Read this.

Man:
Doc, we got a little nip slip.

I don't know if you want to...
[ Laughter ]

"Your next city
is beautiful Phoenix, Arizona!"

Whoo!
Hey, hey.

"Your next city
is beautiful Phoenix, Arizona."

No way!

So that's good for us

because Robbie is from Arizona
and so is Aaron.

These last two days,
I'm gonna have it on lock.

Phoenix, Arizona.
Yo.

Dakota's hometown.
Servold:
I'm about to hit my friend up.

See, you do me the wrong city.
[ Laughter ]

♪ Gonna get drunk, drunk,
drunk, drunk ♪

♪ Drunk and drunk and drunk
and drunk and drunk ♪

My lips are gonna chap.

My nose is probably gonna bleed
a couple times.

I don't like that place.

No one looks forward
to going to Arizona.

It's like an entire state
of old people.

It's like reptiles, dude.

Yeah. But they're just mad
about stuff in general.

Homoki: I'm pissed
I can't...skate, dude.

I'm about to...
duct‐tape my knee

and jump off some roofs, dude.

Dude, we can...do this now.

[ Grunts ]
Everyone can suck a dick, dude.

[ Laughter ]
Yeah, Jaws!

Whoo‐hoo‐hoo!

They don't like pot
in Arizona.

Smith: Hey, can we get
a clean sweep inside the van?

Yeah, wish us luck
on the way through the border.

Hey, look at you!
Hi!

♪♪

Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...

Stolling: When you're rolling
up, you can't see the bottom.

This is, like...up.

If he does it, it'll be amazing,
but if he doesn't do it,

he could get really, really,
really hurt.

Man: Oh!

[ Down‐tempo music plays ]

♪♪

Mathews:
Tonight's gonna be a late night.

We're gonna have to do
as many challenges in the book

as possible,
get all those points.

♪♪

♪♪

...man.

Oh, my God, man.

I'm always really hard
on myself.

So if I'm, like, sore and not
being able to skate and stuff...

I'm so...over this thing.
...I feel bad, you know?

And I'm like, "...I want to be
out there killing it.

I want to be out there helping
out for the team," you know?"

♪♪

Man: Wow!

♪♪

♪♪

Smith: Yo!

♪♪

♪♪

Silva:
You're a maniac.

Sinclair: The rest of the night
is just trying to chip away

at a few things that have been
giving us trouble,

like just finding
that set of stairs,

whatever we can find that's good
that we can chip away at.

...Aidan's ready,
dude.

♪ Sorry that I'm working late
tonight ♪

All: Oh!

Get us...back.
Right here, Corey.

♪ It's funny how the time
just rolls right by ♪

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

♪ I thought
I had it figured out ♪

And let's go.

Sinclair: The level of
skateboarding these guys can do,

it just keeps progressing
so fast.

I'm like, "I didn't even know
that was possible."

Wilson:
Oh, my God.

Like, Glick went so far beyond
what I thought he would do,

and he's only ‐‐ he's the
amateur on the team, you know?

♪ This time it's going down ♪

Servold:
Got it.

[ Laughter ]

[ Shouts indistinctly ]

[ Laughs ]
...it!

♪♪

Wilson: I would say check
that shit.

Luong: Hey, he's on his board
till the bitter end.

Dude.
Shit, dude.

Yeah, 150 points.

MVP.

Campbell: I think Glick
can pretty much do anything

if he wants to.

I feel like
he thinks of something

and he can just do it.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations,
skateboard clattering ]

He's a really, really good
skateboarder.

Like, really good.

Man:
Here you go, Corey.

♪♪

[ Grunts ]

Luong:
Jesus.

Oh.

Man:
You all right?

I'm good.

♪♪

♪ I'm making room somehow ♪

♪♪

♪ I'm making room somehow ♪

[ Laughter ]

Campbell:
Yeah!

That was so...cool.

Are...kidding me?!
[ Laughs ]

Can I get a beer?
Servold:
Let's get out of here, dude.

♪♪

Ferguson:
Dude.

♪ This is gonna be
gnarly ♪

Stolling: When Kyle found out
we're going to San Diego,

he's like, "There's this spot.
It's gnarly."

And I was like, "I know the spot
you're talking about."

It's a gap that's been skated
over the years.

This is, like...up.

I've always wanted to skate
that spot ‐‐ like, always.

Aw, yeah, baby.

[ Down‐tempo music plays ]

From down here, it doesn't look
as big as it does from up there.

Yeah. Up there ‐‐
Up there, it's so long.

When you're rolling up,
you can't see the bottom.

You just see a drop and a rail.

And it's terrifying.

Brook:
I'm like, "Oh, man.

I hope we don't lose this guy
here."

Walker:
Hundred...bucks.

You got this shit, Kyle.

Brook:
I want to see it happen,

but this is
a double‐edged sword.

Like, if he does it,
it'll be amazing,

but if he doesn't do it,

he could get really, really,
really hurt.

Oh, yeah.
You got this.

[ Indistinct shouting,
applause ]

One and done, Kyle,
one and done.

Man:
Whoo!

Yeah, Kyle.

♪♪

All: Oh!

Man:
Whoo‐hoo‐hoo!

Cleaned the shit
out of it.

You just got gnarly wheel bite
is what it was.

All: [ Voices distorted ]
Oh!

Walker:
That's what I kind of like
about "King of the Road," too,

'cause it pushes you to try shit

you have thought about trying
forever, like this.

And then it comes up, and it's
like boiling point where,

"All right.
Like, you want to do it or no?"

I was super...scared too.

Olson:
Yeah, Kyle. Right here.

Brockel:
You know you have it.

This is it.

Yeah, Kyle.
Yeah, Kyle.

♪♪

[ All cheering ]

You're...
What the...

Holy shit.
...yeah.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Kyle's 180 blew doors.

I don't think anyone will do
a gap as big as that.

I was nervous shooting that.
I was like, "Shit.

This is gonna happen right now?"

That could have been
Kyle's demise.

Just like, "Bye."

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Brock: Holy shit.
Wow.

That doesn't even look real.

And the Real team
done did it again!

Oh!
Oh!

Second try.

Stolling:
I've been here multiple times,

and I've skated the spot
right by it,

and I've never seen
anyone touch it.

So to see someone do that
in two tries

in the middle of the night
is insane.

...Kyle.
SOTY.

Dude, that was insane.

Brock:
Phoenix.

Phoenix.
That's where we're going, right?

On the next
"King of the Road"...

It's the last full day
of the trip.

Everybody is obliterated.

Man: Oh!

Oh!

Done.
So...over this shit.

Jaws is gonna have photos
of the...book.

What's it gonna take to see
a couple pages?
Um...[ Clears throat ]

...you, Mike,
you...piece of shit.

We've got 600 points
on the line.

Aah!
This could be
a total game‐changer.

Man: Oh!
Man: ...hectic.

Check!

Man: What color are your eyes?
Man: They're, like, brownish ‐‐

I don't know, man.
They're shit‐colored.

You have pretty eyes, man.