King of the Road (2016-…): Season 3, Episode 10 - The Finale - full transcript
A surprise at the finish line leaves everyone shellshocked. The teams reconvene six months later to settle some beef and find out the big winner of King Of the Road.
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Please do not attempt to perform
any of these stunts
or activities in this show.
They are super dangerous ‐‐
crazy, wild dangerous.
The stunts seen are either
performed by professionals
or under the supervision
of professionals ‐‐
serious professionals.
This show also contains
bad language.
♪♪
Beautiful day,
beautiful time to finish
"King of the Road."
Man: Heads, Zion.
‐Yeeeeah!
‐Stick.
Everybody is obliterated.
Ow! Oh, my God.
Man: Aw!
So happy it's the last...
day.
Oh, we got a bounty.
Aaaaah!
What?
Just freaking out.
‐Come on!
‐Let's...run, man!
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Raw oysters, Texas Pete ♪
Bring it on home!
♪ Sea urchin on the reef ♪
Oh, my God!
♪ Sour cheeseburger bit to eat ♪
Double, double, crunch flip.
‐Yeah!
‐Yeah!
♪ Lick butter goes with kief ♪
♪ Into the cocoa leaf ♪
Oh, my God!
♪ Fresh maggots on my teeth,
they're cheap ♪
♪ Oh, baby! ♪
[ Whistling ]
It's time
to go skateboarding.
[ Crows ]
Who's pooping? Who's peeing?
Get it!
I love you guys.
♪ Oh, baby ♪
King of the...road!
I did not
sign up for this.
♪♪
Here it is. We made it.
The last night.
The teams are actual dust
at this point,
but we've got one more
item of bullshit
for them to accomplish.
This is it ‐‐
Phoenix Rising:
Bust‐or‐Bail Challenge.
This is the most bonus points
we've ever offered
in a single day.
That's the thing with
"King of the Road."
You think you're done.
You're never done.
The teams are gonna roll
in here any minute.
They're going to look over
at that...thing,
and they're going to go,
"Oh, God."
And then we're gonna
light it on fire.
Campbell: Oh, my God.
Are you...kidding me?
Servold: That...rail.
‐There's a...rail.
‐Where?
‐No way.
‐...this.
Sinclair: Come on,
you pussies.
Foundation seems
a little reluctant.
When I pulled up,
the last thing I expected
was a giant skate obstacle.
...this!
Yeah, that's exactly
what I just said.
‐Yeow! Yee‐hee!
‐Last bang.
Ba‐bah!
♪♪
There had to be, like,
one last hurrah.
‐This does not look fun.
‐This looks like a lot of pain.
Burnett: All right, you clowns.
Get out of the car.
‐All right. Everybody out.
‐This thing is...
Wow.
‐I thought we were done.
‐Yeah.
It's about to be gnarly.
All right.
We made it.
The end of the line
right here tonight.
Buck, buck!
[ All cheer ]
But we've got
one more challenge.
Here it goes ‐‐
Bust or bail ‐‐
Phoenix Rising.
Let's open
this shit up,
and let's...
have a good time.
‐[ Laughing ] What?
‐...
Man: Oh, hell no.
The rail's on fire now.
‐Yeah.
‐Oh, God.
Mathews: To show up at
such a big rail
and a set of stairs
was such a punch in the dick.
Like, we're already
kind of down,
and then it's just all,
"Ha...you."
[ All cheering ]
Does anybody got
it like that?!
Let's get...fired up!
Aaah! Come on!
Burnett: First come,
first serve on these tricks.
50 points each.
Hey, who got wax?
Who got wax?
Yeah, you can wax it.
Shit will just melt as soon
as you put it on there.
Get it, Z!
Get that shit.
Go!
[ All cheering ]
Phelps: That's
your frontside nosegrind.
Frontside nosegrind
is done.
‐...yeah!
‐Woo!
That's two tricks.
That's a backsmith.
That's gone.
♪ You're so, so no ♪
Zion!
♪ You're so, so no ♪
‐Ohhhhh!
‐Overcrooks!
‐Come on!
‐Front crooks! Front crooks!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Yeah, the flame rail is gnarly.
'cause the fire's so bright.
It kind of like canceled
everything else out,
and everything was dark.
Rolling up to it, your eyes are,
like, looking at fire,
and then there's just,
like, you're aiming
for this little black circle
in the middle of the fire.
I just couldn't see
anything happening,
so, like, I was scared
to try a lot of tricks.
Burnett: Front curls,
front curls.
[ All cheering ]
♪♪
[ All cheering ]
Check!
♪♪
‐Oh, shit. Cole's drunk.
‐He's got it.
‐Yeah.
‐There you go.
‐Oh, watch out.
‐Ah! Fire!
[ Chuckling ]
Oh, my God.
Hot potato! Hot potato!
Yeah. Don't lay your hand down.
Wilson: Tried to go over
the back of that rail
just thinking I still had it,
had the gusto in me.
Just clipped on the way up,
and natural instincts kicked in
and just put my hand
on the rail to, like,
stop me from falling
down 13 stairs,
and I slid my hand
all the way down it
and singed it pretty good.
‐Pour some beer on it.
‐Yeah.
Dude, I'm...
I'm scared.
This is the...end.
Come on, you guys.
‐There you go.
‐Oh! There.
That's your Jupiter,
Florida, bullshit.
Shut up, bitch.
You better make it
before he makes it.
I'm about to do this shit
on your stupid ass.
You're finna make this shit,
right?
Now make the...thing.
Yeah, Zion!
♪♪
[ All cheering ]
‐...
‐Shit...
Phelps: Holy shit!
Nyj is coming. Nyj is coming.
Nyj is coming.
♪♪
Switch 50.
[ All cheer ]
‐Switch 50!
‐That was crazy.
Switch 50.
♪♪
Man: Get it, Kyle!
[ All cheer ]
♪♪
[ Cheering continues ]
♪♪
You got to watch out
for that top part of that rail.
[ Chuckles ]
♪♪
‐...yeah.
‐You all right?
‐You all right?
‐I never seen Nyj eat shit ever.
Roy: Put it down!
Yeah, oh!
Yeah, Little Nicky!
Nicky, make it.
Make it.
This is it, Nick.
You got it.
Man: Nicky, you've got
this shit, dude.
[ All cheering ]
Nicky!
Oh, my God.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Oh, my God.
[ Vocalizing ]
‐Yeah, Chip!
‐Chip, you got this.
‐Chip!
‐Go, Chip!
[ All cheering ]
Get it, Chip!
♪♪
[ All cheering ]
Man: Madars!
Madars,
catch that mother...
Madars!
[ Crowd shouts ]
‐Oh, God.
[ Sternly ]
One...switch‐flip.
Make it.
‐Get it, Madars.
[ Sighs ]
♪♪
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Madars was stuck.
He almost landed, like,
seven or eight in a row.
Man: Yo!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Smith: Like, that's, like,
a robbery in skating, you know?
[ Shouting continues ]
But he was exhausted.
Like, he did all of
"King of the Road,"
and the last moments of it,
he's trying the switch‐flip
down the 12,
which is not a normal‐sized 12.
It was a big 12.
Set it and forget it!
‐This is it.
‐30 seconds left!
♪♪
[ All cheering ]
Burnett: Woo!
Good job!
[ All cheering ]
♪♪
‐Good job!
‐He loves it!
He loves it!
Apse: I never looked at this
as a contest
that we're trying to win,
just having fun, being there,
doing the best.
In my book, we all won.
"King of the Road" is over!
♪ Riding on ♪
♪ Waiting for ♪
Thank you, Don.
It's really anyone's contest.
Shit, man.
Fifty grand on the line,
it would be nice,
But who knows, you know?
You never know.
Ba‐bah, yeah!
We'll see you at the finale.
[ All cheering ]
Phelps: And that's the end
of "King of the Road."
Does anybody do it better?
No, they...don't.
♪ Come on out
and have a good time ♪
♪ Sometime tonight ♪
♪♪
[ Indistinct talking ]
He had Nike shorts on,
and he's fully erect.
Huston: We're back in LA.
Trip is over.
We've got the team together
right now.
We're going to watch
a couple episodes
and probably watch a bunch
of embarrassing moments.
Right now, we got
Nyjah Houston pissing,
and I'm gonna take a swig.
Nyjah's piss.
Yeah, that Nyjah piss
is powerful.
Smith: Going to the finale,
I'm really, really excited.
Liquid acid?
I've been waiting
for all these months
just to see exactly
what those teams were up to.
Sinclair: So the guys are
getting ready to go
over to finale,
to the end of the end
of the road.
If there's any bonus points,
Nick's gonna get
all of them tonight,
so maybe he can make up
for some of those lost points
or points he never earned
in the first place.
This is about to bring back
a lot of...memories.
[ Laughter ]
All: Ahhh!
What?
Damn, they really
got his ass.
That's fire.
[ All cheering ]
‐Woo, Zion!
‐Look at this!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
I love you so much.
Dad.
You know I love you, right?
‐That's heavy, dude.
‐For real.
‐Yeah, for real.
‐That's some heavy shit.
I love you 'cause
you're my son,
my inspiration
and motivation.
You give me
so much inspiration.
Oh, my God.
You're sweating so.
[ Laughter ]
‐Yeah, their's was heavy.
‐That was...
‐Their whole thing was heavy.
‐Almost cried right there, man.
I'm not going to lie.
‐You are crying right now.
‐Wow.
‐Holy shit.
This is another prank.
It's another prank.
No way, dude.
[ Indistinct shouting,
laughter ]
Oh! That was concrete.
‐[ Laughter ]
‐You okay?
That clip's insane, dude.
‐Butt.
‐That hurts.
Man:
Holy shit, dude.
No one told him
to hill bomb in diapers.
Nick...
hill bomb in diapers.
[ Laughter ]
Sinclair.
Yeah...you, you liar.
You're a liar.
Nick, hill bomb in diapers.
Get that on film.
Mike is a...liar.
Sinclair: It happens sometimes.
It's usually not
worth it to lie.
This time, it was.
[ Laughter]
Who's going to win?
I don't know.
Feeling good,
got a one‐in‐three shot chance,
so who knows?
‐Next on "King o[ Screams ]
Ba‐bah!
‐Dude.
‐There we go.
King of the...road!
The finale, baby.
It's six months after
"King of the Road."
We've gathered the troops back
together for a big party.
[ All shouting ]
Yeah!
Can you get it in focus?
Burnett: Tonight,
we've got Element,
Real, Foundation
and all their friends,
well‐wishers, company owners.
Right now, they're serving
some little tri‐tip
right on the bottom
of skateboards,
P‐Stone style.
Get down on that shit.
Ooh.
King of the...
Road finale!
We got a lot of friends
back tonight.
It's really a meeting
of the minds
of "King of the Road."
I took a crap and peed
in my own mouth.
And we're going to do
a few challenges
for some fabulous prizes,
going to give out some awards,
relive some memories,
and then, most importantly,
we're going to be handing out
the big cheese.
I don't want to know who won.
I don't.
I don't want to know who won.
I wish there was no winner.
I wish we all just meet up
and watch the video,
but it's gonna be
crazy, yeah.
That'd be pretty cool if we won.
Burnett: Good times,
some bros,
a few burgers and some beer,
some laughs.
Holy shit!
I'd say our troubles
are over, dude.
♪♪
Check!
Wait,
I get to sit by the keg?
Evan, that's filled
with piss.
Cold, though.
You're gonna be stoked.
Hey, we need that Hennessy
right now,
right back here.
Any extra challenge for points
right now,
Nick's doing them all.
Merlino: Right now?
You need those points.
Yeah. Right now.
It's over.
There's still more points.
You're not going to...
prank me twice, man.
No, no, no. No.
This is not a prank.
♪♪
[ Crowd cheering ]
Okay. Here it is.
All of us,
back together again,
and tonight,
we're gonna find out
who are the new
"King of the Road" champions.
[ All cheering ]
Because as you know,
the "King of the Road" champions
get the cash, $50,000,
the trophy,
and the most prestigious
real estate
in all of skateboarding ‐‐
the cover of Thrasher Magazine.
[ All cheering ]
Let's get this thing started,
but it wouldn't be
"King of the Road"
without my illustrious co‐host,
Mr. Here Comes Trouble...
What's up, mother...
...Mr. Andy Roy!
You there,
you guys...ready?
Bringing him out
onto the stage
we've got man ramp
and other man ramp.
‐I think it's men ramp.
‐Yeah, men ramp.
[ All cheering ]
Thank you, guys.
Stuck the landing.
What's up, you guys?!
Ba‐ba‐bah!
You guys ready?
[ All cheer ]
...king of the...road!
I don't even think
his microphone is on.
Yeah. They turned it off.
Enjoy the...night.
All right.
Let's get to some awards.
We have skateboarding's
bad lieutenant ‐‐
Mr. Jake Phelps, my friend.
Here he is.
[ All cheer ]
[ Whistles ]
Skateboarding, if you made
ever trick you tried,
it wouldn't be any fun.
When I see people get stuffed,
I laugh, ha‐ha suckers.
Guess what?
We call it Hall of Meat.
Let's roll this clip,
and we'll show who the...
made hall of motherfeet...
hall of mother...
hall of feet...
Hall of Meat!
Roll the...clip!
...clip!
‐Do it right here.
‐That was bad.
Oh, dude,
you were on one that night.
‐Oh, my...
‐He's...up right now.
‐Andy's got it.
‐Yes!
That was a flip out.
‐Oh, God.
‐He didn't die.
Aaaah!
♪♪
Oh‐h‐h‐h!
♪♪
Oh, shit!
[ Groans ]
Oh, my...
[ Roy laughs ]
Oh, my God.
♪♪
Jesus!
That is Zion.
‐The whole thing.
‐He can fly!
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Oh, ho.
[ Laughter ]
‐He's in.
‐Oh.
♪♪
Jack, you got
to stay away
from the handrails
for a little bit.
♪♪
‐You got that shit.
‐Woo!
‐Oh.
‐Taco.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Caught a body.
Let me hit that.
Close the suitcase.
Sinclair: Yes, Nick.
Bring it on home.
Oh, that hurt so much.
‐Sorry, Nick.
‐Attitude!
This probab‐‐
This probably won it.
Aaron, Aaron.
Ah, I don't even want
to watch this.
[ Crowd groans ]
All: Oh.
Phelps: We don't call him
Jaws for nothing.
‐Dude.
‐Jesus, Jaws.
[ All groaning ]
♪♪
‐Bro!
‐Dude...
‐Did he wear a mouthpiece?
‐Chin to floor.
Oh, that's...
That's 100% it.
Come on up here, kid.
[ Cheers and applause ]
All day!
[ Cheering continues ]
‐Yeah, Jaws.
‐...
He's always winning, man.
Always wins.
He's a winner, you know?
That's what happens.
Thank you,
I guess.
My teeth are fixed now,
so it's all good.
Good teeth!
[ All cheering ]
Whooo!
Jaws!
For our first challenge
of the night,
we've got something special.
Let's show it.
This one is called...
the Jaws tooth
shoot‐out.
‐[ Roy screams ]
‐All right.
Roy:
It looks like my teeth.
You wish your teeth
looked like that.
I know.
I'm...jealous!
I need the other mystery guest,
Jamie, Axel.
They got more than I do.
Burnett:
When I say, "Go,"
you're gonna throw your wheels
at Jaws' mouth.
When he looks like Andy Roy,
you have won.
On your mark.
Get set.
Get set.
Go!
Junk it.
One.
‐Yeah.
‐Jaws, go!
[ All shouting ]
It's leaking.
[ All shouting ]
Jamie, breathe.
Jamie, breathe!
Jamie!
‐Jamie, breathe!
[ Shouting continues ]
Yeah, Jamie!
Yeah!
‐Hey, Nick is in there?
‐How did Nick get in there?
‐Nick is in the mouth?
‐He's in. He's throwing.
[ Shouting continues ]
Man: Harder, Jaws.
My arm is so tired.
Last throw.
‐Stop everybody.
‐...
That pretty much just shit
on me.
Do you see it?
Who won?
Jamie Foy.
Jamie Foy!
[ All cheer ]
You got a hell
of an arm.
How you feeling right now?
Tired as hell.
Hey, there you go,
a beautiful blender.
We need that.
Our team needs that.
Peterson: Yeah, Jamie.
Roy: Next on
"King of the Road"
‐Woo!
‐Yeah, is that a nice blender?
It seems like
a good blender.
I wonder what happened
to our blender
when we got married?
‐That's what I was thinking too.
‐Yeah.
This next award,
we've got a special
guest presenter.
This skater tears it up
as hard on the dance floor
as she does
on the halfpipe ‐‐
Nora Vasconcellos.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, Nora!
‐Let's go, Nora.
‐South Shore.
How's everybody
doing tonight?
[ All cheer ]
Yeah! Look at these faces.
Look at the teeth.
‐Hey!
‐You're looking good.
Okay.
So this award is
the Bob Gnar Award ‐‐
the best transition trick
of "King of the Road."
Roll the clip!
♪♪
[ Indistinct shouting ]
...
That was...
really sick.
...glued to his feet.
Man: You got it,
Nicky.
Roy: Come on, guys.
Come on.
♪♪
[ Indistinct shouting ]
You went under.
[ All cheering, laughter ]
‐Evie!
‐He wants to fly today.
♪♪
‐Oh, my gosh.
‐Wow.
‐Holy shit.
‐Oh, wow.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
[ All cheering ]
And the winner is..
Evan Smith!
[ All cheering ]
Get up here, beautiful.
‐Thanks, Nora.
‐Congratulations.
This one goes out to all the
legends in the past right there.
[ Laughter, cheers ]
And Ecuador.
And Ecuador.
[ Laughter ]
Okay. Sick.
‐Hey, right on.
‐All right.
Nobody does "King of the Road"
for the money.
They don't do it
for the fame.
People get in the
"King of the Road" van
all for the love.
This year, there was
so much love in these vans
that we needed to make sure
it was recognized
in a court of law.
Let's check it out.
Evan, I've been thinking.
Will you marry me?
Yes!
‐Awesome! He's like...
‐This is insane.
[ Laughter ]
Man: Love is the most precious
and universal force
in the world.
Aaaaah!
‐I, Aiden...
‐I, Aiden...
‐...take you, Cole...
‐...take you, Cole...
That was real love looks
right there.
That was Mike looking at
his Snickers bars.
[ Laughter ]
Do you, Robert,
take Aaron
to be your true and lawful
wedded husband?
I do.
Yeah!
Now, by the power invested in me
by the worldwide web...
...it is my privilege
to pronounce you
as husband and husband.
You can kiss
your partner.
[ Laughter ]
It's official!
Aaaaah!
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Whistling, laughter ]
♪♪
Burnett: Let's get a round
of applause to the newlyweds.
[ Whistles ]
That's amazing.
Would you get a prenup
with that or what?
[ Laughter ]
Burnett: Can we get the couples
here in these chairs.
‐Yeah.
‐All right.
Walter!
[ Crowd "awws" ]
Come here, Walter.
Tonight, we're gonna play
a fabulous game called
Know Your Spouse!
[ Gong sounds ]
[ Applause ]
And to present
this game tonight,
we've got special celebrity host
Mr. Louie Barletta.
Da‐da‐da‐da.
♪♪
Well, well, well.
Is anybody here still married?
‐I think.
‐Pretty sure.
Definitely
still married.
Well, what we're
going to do tonight
is we're going to ask you
a series of questions,
but if you get
the question wrong,
Andy here is going
to cut you off
and give you a slice of, uh...
the wedding cake.
I hate cake, so I hope
I don't have to eat it.
Dude, I hate cake.
Let's start off
with Robbie.
...
[ Laughter ]
This is a little math one,
all right?
‐Oh.
‐Math!
So take
the number of times
Jaws has been on
"King of the Road,"
you times it by 12.
Now subtract how many teeth
he got knocked out.
What number is that?
Hold on, hold on.
What? What kind of
bullshit is...
I don't know,
but you're loud.
Can you
believe that?
My voice is loud.
Know Your Spouse!
Hold on, hold on. 26!
Wrong!
[ Gong sounds ]
‐It's 56. 56!
‐Oh, here we go.
That's a lot of teeth.
Robbie Brockel,
you do not know your spouse.
‐Ohhhh!
‐Dude, I hate cake.
Oh, you got to eat it.
I'm not eating the cake.
Foundation ‐‐
Cole, name the country
that borders the country
that Aiden's parents
are from.
Ireland.
Wrong!
[ Gong sounds ]
His parents
are from Scotland,
so the name of the country
would be England.
Oh, he bit my...finger!
[ Laughter ]
Oh, he's a biter.
Aaaaah!
Ah! For the final question
of know your spouse, Evan...
Yes.
♪♪
‐I hate cake.
‐Cake!
[ Phelps chants "Cake! ]
[ Chanting distorts ]
Does Tyson have weed
on him right now?
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Hold on, hold on.
Man: Check your hair.
Check your hair.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Oh, he doesn't.
This is the one time.
[ Shouting continues ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
Mike, tell them
what they've won.
Well, Louie,
they won fantastic bath robes.
♪♪
‐Robes! Whaaat?
‐...
‐...
‐Sick!
[ All cheering ]
[ Laughter ]
Evan and Tyson,
you know your spouses!
Thank you all
for competing!
Man: Oh, that shit is gonna be
in his hair for months.
Roy: Next on
"King of the Road"
[ Indistinct talking ]
‐Where's Walter?
‐Where is he at?
‐He's right here.
‐Don't let him eat cake.
All right, when you're on
"King of the Road,"
there's a certain
level of trust.
When your team manager
asks you to do a trick,
you got to know he's trying
to maximize those points.
‐Where is Nick?
‐Right here.
So for our next award,
we got a special presenter.
‐What's happening?
‐Oh, shit.
Evan: Oh, that damn
helmet again.
Knight number one,
reveal yourself!
‐Oh.
‐All right.
Nick Merlino, Sr.
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐What's up, dude?
‐Yeah.
‐Yeah, Nick.
‐Whoo!
It's your...pops, dude.
Sit down, Nick.
I'll go sit down.
I just wanted a hug.
I'm here to give the award
for the best prank.
Get back up there, Nick.
Roll the clip!
[ Maniacal laughter ]
[ "Taps" plays on trumpet ]
[ Laughter ]
We're going to...up Nick
every single day
and not tell him.
The oldest member of the team
can only drink
Pedialyte and Ensure.
He has to skate with a cane
and wear an adult diaper
over their pants.
Sick.
He's going to rack up, like,
1,000 points in his mind.
He's got nothing.
‐Lift it up.
‐[ Chuckles ]
I mean, like, I was bummed,
but it was just, like,
you know,
I know it's for the points.
‐Good job, Nick.
‐Does it burn yet?
‐It's pretty good form, Nick.
‐That thing is big.
‐Let me see this.
‐Do I look beautiful?
Sometimes I just need
to be told what to do.
I got a special bonus
that came in from Burnett.
"50 points each bug a day."
It's an ant.
It was a buffet.
[ Chuckling ]
It was a buffet.
The disgusting shit
I had to eat.
Get the fly, Nick.
Merlino: Do you want
to eat a...fly
while your friend is taking
a shit right next to you?
[ Laughter ]
I don't want to.
He doesn't
like flies.
But I did.
That was...up.
Peeing in my own
...mouth...
‐Oh, no. No.
‐Oh, hell no.
...while I'm taking a shit.
Man: Nick!
‐Oh, no. Oh, God.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
That sucks.
If that doesn't...count,
I will...kill everyone.
It counts, Nick.
Hey, I got good news,
and I got bad news.
What?
The good news is,
we're in the running
for possible best prank
on a teammate.
Okay.
The bad news is...
Here it goes.
...everything you did
was a fake challenge.
Everything you did.
‐Oh, man.
‐Yeah, Nick.
He did so much shit.
You get the best prank.
‐Nicky!
‐Okay, Mike.
Burnett:
Mike, can we get you up here?
You got some explaining to do.
‐Some 'splaining to do.
‐Explaining.
Do a hill bomb
in a diaper.
What was your reaction
when you found out
there were no points?
‐My soul was crushed.
‐[ Chuckling ] Oh, shit.
‐Oh, my God.
‐God damn.
All right.
I got a question.
What kind of manager
is this?
Sometimes,
he's a real nice guy,
but most times,
he's an asshole.
[ Laughter ]
Yes! Thank you!
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm so sorry.
Okay. Right now,
we got a little challenge.
‐Like it?
‐Yeah.
We're gonna settle
the score.
But good news, Mike.
It involves pizza.
Oh.
Let's bring this out.
‐Ohhhh.
‐Ohhh, shit.
Mike, you're going to eat
the damn thing
before we can
even try the challenge.
I'm getting a slice
of that. Ohhhh!
There's probably poop on it
or something.
Merlino: Hey, Mike doesn't
eat peppers or onions.
‐What do you think, Mike?
‐It looks huge.
I don't like that style.
‐I like pepperoni.
‐Can I help?
Buried somewhere in this pizza
is a special prize.
However...
Ooh.
...it's going to be the keys
to these handcuffs.
‐Oh, no.
‐Yes.
Merlino:
And I'm getting them.
On your mark,
get set, go!
♪♪
Give me that
God damn pizza!
[ Merlino screaming ]
[ Both shouting indistinctly ]
Sinclair: I need
the God damn key!
‐Give me ‐‐
‐There you go!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Burnett:
Before you bite into it,
look for the metal.
Oh, found one.
Nick has got it.
He's grabbing.
Give me
the God damn key.
♪♪
And the winner is
Nick Merlino!
Bring out
the fantastic prize!
♪♪
Are you serious?
A...poker table?
That's right!
[ All cheering ]
A custom "King of the Road"
poker table!
‐Nicky!
‐Yo, dude.
That is the...
coolest thing ever, dude!
Burnett: Let's get
this pizza out of here.
Where you going with it, dude?
Oh, my God.
That's going to be
so fun to play poker on
this summer, dude.
‐Did you see his face?
‐He couldn't believe it.
All right,
this next award is called
Nyjah's Nar‐Nar.
Man: Oh, yeah.
You have your own award.
Nyjah, you did not
win this year.
[ Laughter ]
All good.
So I want you to come up
and read this card.
Come on.
Let's welcome him.
‐All right, Nyjah.
‐Nyjah Huston.
Good, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Nyjah's Nar‐Nar.
‐That's you!
‐Third person, baby.
It's for the wildest, craziest,
most technical trick
that only somebody like
Nyjah can do.
[ Laughter ]
Roll clip!
♪♪
‐Yeah, Robbie!
‐Wow.
...yeah.
‐Tyson!
‐Yeah, Tyson.
Man:
It's a triple kinker.
‐Oh, my God.
‐Wow!
that was sick.
‐Tyson, you're gnarly.
‐Go get it, Cole.
Man: Yeah, Cole.
♪♪
No, this is...
[ Cheers and applause ]
He rock‐fakied
a handrail.
Rock‐fakied
that...handrail.
Jesus, man!
‐Yeah, Cole!
‐That was insane.
Just give it
to yourself, Nyjah.
‐Nah, nah, nah.
‐That's Cole's.
That's...so sick.
And the winner is...
Tyson!
‐What? No.
‐Cole!
[ Cheers and applause ]
...yeah.
It's just cause Nyjah couldn't
even do your trick.
Nyjah body variables
so much.
All right, Tyson.
How's it going so far?
How's the show for you?
It's pretty cool.
It's awesome.
[ Laughter ]
Is that it?
No.
Tyson...
We've got a special challenge
just for you.
[ Laughs ]
If you could have any challenge
right now,
what would it be?
[ Chuckles ]
I swear to God,
watch. Watch.
‐For my hair to be clean.
‐Clear hair?
Burnett: We got something
a little bit better.
‐No!
‐[ All cheer ]
♪♪
Let's welcome
the newest Element pro,
Tyson Peterson!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Hey, Mom!
I know I probably smell
crazy right now.
‐You smell so gnarly.
‐So gross.
Oh. I'm so proud
of you, Tyson.
You just don't...know
how proud I am.
I love you so much.
‐Where's your weed?
‐I don't like beer.
‐You need weed?
‐I do need weed.
You guys need weed?
That is crazy.
‐I love you guys, dude.
‐Anytime.
Roy: Next on
"King of the Road"...
[ Indistinct talking ]
♪♪
[ Chuckles ]
The next award up
for grabs ‐‐
Death from Above.
Roll the clip!
♪♪
Man: Evan!
That was the first...
day.
[ Laughs ]
Bury it!
‐That was...
‐God damn.
Wow.
Evan!
‐...it, Corey.
‐Bling, bling.
‐Jesus.
‐Oh, my God.
‐Oh, wow.
‐Holy shit!
‐Yeah, Glick.
‐It's a make!
We'll take it!
♪♪
Man: Yeah, Kyle!
♪♪
‐Jesus!
‐Woo!
Dude...yes.
♪♪
Can you play that
in slow‐mo again?
And the winner ‐‐
Kyle Walker!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Appreciate that.
I'm going to go back
and kick‐flip that shit,
you'll see.
How do you guys think
you're doing so far?
We doing all right.
You know what
the...going on.
Yeah, let's get it.
Real squad.
[ Crowd cheers ]
‐Kid walks.
‐Okay.
We've got a new award
this year.
It's a special award.
Being a true road dog
means waking up every day
ready for adventure.
The P‐Stone Spirit Award...
[ Crowd cheers ]
...goes out to the ultimate
"King of the Road" road dog.
‐...big dog!
‐P‐Stone!
The person who puts in
the most miles...
[ Cheering continues ]
...has the most fun...
‐All right!
‐Woo!
...and keeps the tightest ship.
Let's watch the clip.
♪♪
Woo!
Woo!
‐Preston!
‐Yeah...yeah, Stone!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Rooney: You get asked
to do Thrasher trip
or "King of the Road,"
you drop everything.
Yeah, I'm down.
‐Rhino!
‐Road dog!
This was the ninth
"King of the Road"
that I've been on.
Every year, you think,
"This was the gnarliest year,"
and then you go on the next one,
and it gets gnarlier.
Burnett:
Get it, Kyle.
‐Yeah.
‐P‐Stone.
Rooney: You walk away
from this trip,
you know, you can always
look back and be like,
"I...did that."
Rhino!
Each "King of the Road"
is just going to get
heavier and heavier.
Burnett: Come on up, Rhino!
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐...sick, dude.
‐Yeah, Rhino!
[ Cheering continues ]
You guys being kind.
Yeah, Rhino!
Everybody grab
the old pepper cup.
‐...yeah.
‐Let's...go.
All right.
Make a toast here for P‐Stone.
Nobody can ever
fill his shoes.
I definitely can't
fill his shoes
because he's the...
raddest dude out.
Thank you very much.
‐Yeah!
‐Forever!
‐P‐stone!
‐Forever!
To the big dog!
[ Cheers and applause ]
All right.
This year, our mystery guests
were next...level.
The mystery guest MVP
is the guest
who got the most points
for their team.
Roll the clip!
‐Reveal yourself.
‐[ Cheers and applause ]
Burnett: Mystery guest winner,
800 points for his team...
‐...yeah.
‐...Jamie Foy.
♪♪
‐Great.
‐Oh, my God.
That was insane.
‐Yeah, Jamie...Foy, dude.
‐Jamie laid it...down.
‐Yeah, Jamie.
‐...yeah, Jamie.
Oh, shit.
♪♪
‐Oh!
‐Check!
‐Come on up here, Jamie.
‐Crazy. [ Laughs ]
And by the way, he's our
2017 Skater of the Year.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Uh, just thank Element
for letting me in the van
and having a great time
and second year, baby.
Like, it was a lot of fun.
Thank you guys.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Okay. Jamie Foy!
Go, big guy!
Big boy!
All right.
Thanks, guys.
Crazy.
Roy: Next♪♪n
"King of the Road"..
You know, we're at
the finale right now.
We're about to crack off.
As I was
a little kid, man,
I've always dreamed
of trips like this.
This is
the ultimate road trip.
...get some. Straight up.
Bringing...hype.
Thanks, Andy.
Much...respect.
I love you, guys.
Can't wait to see
who...took it.
That's right.
The MVPs are
all very special,
Most Valuable Persons
in the van.
Let's roll this clip.
Check this shit out.
Roll the clip!
♪♪
Man: Evan!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah!
That was...
Man: God damn!
♪♪
‐Spinning to win.
‐That...
Wow!
That was...dude.
That is
so gnarly.
Oh, Evan must have
taken some, like,
seriously magic mushrooms
'cause he's just on fire
right now.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
‐Switch, heeeeels!
‐Switch heels.
♪♪
‐Ohhhhh.
‐What the...was that.
‐Oh!
‐Damn!
He did it.
He did it.
♪♪
‐Yeah, Corey.
‐Piss on Andy's face.
‐God damn it, Corey.
‐No points.
‐No points.
‐He's got stage fright.
Glick's dick revenge
right here.
Man: Oh. Glick!
That's...
‐You're...
‐That's right!
He's stacking.
♪♪
Oh, yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐Jesus, dude!
‐Oh, he's gonna be...
Oh! Oh!
MVP.
♪♪
Man: Dude,
that was insane.
‐Get it, Chip!
‐Let's go, Chip.
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, Chip!
Chip is here!
♪♪
‐Chip!
‐Yeah, Chip!
...Chip, baby.
♪♪
Ping.
I'm not even
proud of this turd.
I am so proud
of this turd.
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐Yeah, Robbie!
‐Check!
I think I'm gonna go
back for more.
I'm still peeing.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, Chip.
‐Yeah, Chip.
‐All right.
The guy that won the MVP...
He's also Phelper's Choice.
It's...Evan Smith, dude.
[ Cheers and applause ]
...yeah.
That's what we do.
Hey.
Guess what?
Skate rats for life.
Jake said it.
No, I don't got to say anything.
Jake said it, "Skate rats."
For life.
For life.
Yeah, baby.
‐That's too nice.
‐Thank you.
...yeah, dude.
Okay.
[ Crowd cheers ]
There's only one thing
left to do.
Holy shit.
All right.
This was an epic year.
But unfortunately,
one team is going to win.
The other teams aren't.
Oops.
Well, when you
put it like that.
Shoo.
So in third place...
‐You guys ready?
‐Not again.
...Foundation.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Let's give it up for Foundation.
Man: That's our spot.
‐All right.
‐You guys...killed it.
‐Straight up.
‐Everybody, let's get up.
Burnett: All right. Let's get
the teams on each side.
You guys,
we did it again.
‐We did.
‐How does that happen?
We got a nice spot
over here in third.
‐It feels good.
‐Third feels great.
This is the closest
"King of the Road"
we've ever done.
The difference between
first and second place ‐‐
180 points.
That's close.
That's really close.
Jake is gonna
give the signal.
Oh, my God.
My legs are shaking, dude.
‐Aaah.
‐I know.
Aaaaah!
Phelps: One, two, three.
Drop the...cover.
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐...yeah!
‐Evan!
Phelps: Element won it!
King of the...road.
‐We...won!
‐180 God damn points.
♪♪
[ Cheering continues ]
We didn't get money,
but we didn't get last.
Element, I told you.
I told you this shit was right.
Element...yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Mathews: I can't believe
this just happened.
We won "King of the Road."
Evan got the cover.
...540 to fakie.
It's ridiculous.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Big congrats
to the Element dudes.
They're amazing.
The cover is amazing.
Evan Smith is bonkers,
out‐of‐this‐world talented.
[ Cheers and applause ]
King of the...road!
I'm still going,
so if we're invited again,
we'll go till
the wheels fall off.
Shit was crazy.
Thanks for coming, everybody.
Have a good night.
Jamie Thomas.
He wants a piece.
Remember, we're skate rats.
South Shore.
All the rest of this shit...
Yeah.
...who cares?
[ Indistinct talking ]
Cheers!
‐Whoa, dude.
‐Holy shit.
King of the road!
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐Check!
‐No points.
It's just the way it works.
‐Show is over.
---
Please do not attempt to perform
any of these stunts
or activities in this show.
They are super dangerous ‐‐
crazy, wild dangerous.
The stunts seen are either
performed by professionals
or under the supervision
of professionals ‐‐
serious professionals.
This show also contains
bad language.
♪♪
Beautiful day,
beautiful time to finish
"King of the Road."
Man: Heads, Zion.
‐Yeeeeah!
‐Stick.
Everybody is obliterated.
Ow! Oh, my God.
Man: Aw!
So happy it's the last...
day.
Oh, we got a bounty.
Aaaaah!
What?
Just freaking out.
‐Come on!
‐Let's...run, man!
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Raw oysters, Texas Pete ♪
Bring it on home!
♪ Sea urchin on the reef ♪
Oh, my God!
♪ Sour cheeseburger bit to eat ♪
Double, double, crunch flip.
‐Yeah!
‐Yeah!
♪ Lick butter goes with kief ♪
♪ Into the cocoa leaf ♪
Oh, my God!
♪ Fresh maggots on my teeth,
they're cheap ♪
♪ Oh, baby! ♪
[ Whistling ]
It's time
to go skateboarding.
[ Crows ]
Who's pooping? Who's peeing?
Get it!
I love you guys.
♪ Oh, baby ♪
King of the...road!
I did not
sign up for this.
♪♪
Here it is. We made it.
The last night.
The teams are actual dust
at this point,
but we've got one more
item of bullshit
for them to accomplish.
This is it ‐‐
Phoenix Rising:
Bust‐or‐Bail Challenge.
This is the most bonus points
we've ever offered
in a single day.
That's the thing with
"King of the Road."
You think you're done.
You're never done.
The teams are gonna roll
in here any minute.
They're going to look over
at that...thing,
and they're going to go,
"Oh, God."
And then we're gonna
light it on fire.
Campbell: Oh, my God.
Are you...kidding me?
Servold: That...rail.
‐There's a...rail.
‐Where?
‐No way.
‐...this.
Sinclair: Come on,
you pussies.
Foundation seems
a little reluctant.
When I pulled up,
the last thing I expected
was a giant skate obstacle.
...this!
Yeah, that's exactly
what I just said.
‐Yeow! Yee‐hee!
‐Last bang.
Ba‐bah!
♪♪
There had to be, like,
one last hurrah.
‐This does not look fun.
‐This looks like a lot of pain.
Burnett: All right, you clowns.
Get out of the car.
‐All right. Everybody out.
‐This thing is...
Wow.
‐I thought we were done.
‐Yeah.
It's about to be gnarly.
All right.
We made it.
The end of the line
right here tonight.
Buck, buck!
[ All cheer ]
But we've got
one more challenge.
Here it goes ‐‐
Bust or bail ‐‐
Phoenix Rising.
Let's open
this shit up,
and let's...
have a good time.
‐[ Laughing ] What?
‐...
Man: Oh, hell no.
The rail's on fire now.
‐Yeah.
‐Oh, God.
Mathews: To show up at
such a big rail
and a set of stairs
was such a punch in the dick.
Like, we're already
kind of down,
and then it's just all,
"Ha...you."
[ All cheering ]
Does anybody got
it like that?!
Let's get...fired up!
Aaah! Come on!
Burnett: First come,
first serve on these tricks.
50 points each.
Hey, who got wax?
Who got wax?
Yeah, you can wax it.
Shit will just melt as soon
as you put it on there.
Get it, Z!
Get that shit.
Go!
[ All cheering ]
Phelps: That's
your frontside nosegrind.
Frontside nosegrind
is done.
‐...yeah!
‐Woo!
That's two tricks.
That's a backsmith.
That's gone.
♪ You're so, so no ♪
Zion!
♪ You're so, so no ♪
‐Ohhhhh!
‐Overcrooks!
‐Come on!
‐Front crooks! Front crooks!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Yeah, the flame rail is gnarly.
'cause the fire's so bright.
It kind of like canceled
everything else out,
and everything was dark.
Rolling up to it, your eyes are,
like, looking at fire,
and then there's just,
like, you're aiming
for this little black circle
in the middle of the fire.
I just couldn't see
anything happening,
so, like, I was scared
to try a lot of tricks.
Burnett: Front curls,
front curls.
[ All cheering ]
♪♪
[ All cheering ]
Check!
♪♪
‐Oh, shit. Cole's drunk.
‐He's got it.
‐Yeah.
‐There you go.
‐Oh, watch out.
‐Ah! Fire!
[ Chuckling ]
Oh, my God.
Hot potato! Hot potato!
Yeah. Don't lay your hand down.
Wilson: Tried to go over
the back of that rail
just thinking I still had it,
had the gusto in me.
Just clipped on the way up,
and natural instincts kicked in
and just put my hand
on the rail to, like,
stop me from falling
down 13 stairs,
and I slid my hand
all the way down it
and singed it pretty good.
‐Pour some beer on it.
‐Yeah.
Dude, I'm...
I'm scared.
This is the...end.
Come on, you guys.
‐There you go.
‐Oh! There.
That's your Jupiter,
Florida, bullshit.
Shut up, bitch.
You better make it
before he makes it.
I'm about to do this shit
on your stupid ass.
You're finna make this shit,
right?
Now make the...thing.
Yeah, Zion!
♪♪
[ All cheering ]
‐...
‐Shit...
Phelps: Holy shit!
Nyj is coming. Nyj is coming.
Nyj is coming.
♪♪
Switch 50.
[ All cheer ]
‐Switch 50!
‐That was crazy.
Switch 50.
♪♪
Man: Get it, Kyle!
[ All cheer ]
♪♪
[ Cheering continues ]
♪♪
You got to watch out
for that top part of that rail.
[ Chuckles ]
♪♪
‐...yeah.
‐You all right?
‐You all right?
‐I never seen Nyj eat shit ever.
Roy: Put it down!
Yeah, oh!
Yeah, Little Nicky!
Nicky, make it.
Make it.
This is it, Nick.
You got it.
Man: Nicky, you've got
this shit, dude.
[ All cheering ]
Nicky!
Oh, my God.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Oh, my God.
[ Vocalizing ]
‐Yeah, Chip!
‐Chip, you got this.
‐Chip!
‐Go, Chip!
[ All cheering ]
Get it, Chip!
♪♪
[ All cheering ]
Man: Madars!
Madars,
catch that mother...
Madars!
[ Crowd shouts ]
‐Oh, God.
[ Sternly ]
One...switch‐flip.
Make it.
‐Get it, Madars.
[ Sighs ]
♪♪
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Madars was stuck.
He almost landed, like,
seven or eight in a row.
Man: Yo!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Smith: Like, that's, like,
a robbery in skating, you know?
[ Shouting continues ]
But he was exhausted.
Like, he did all of
"King of the Road,"
and the last moments of it,
he's trying the switch‐flip
down the 12,
which is not a normal‐sized 12.
It was a big 12.
Set it and forget it!
‐This is it.
‐30 seconds left!
♪♪
[ All cheering ]
Burnett: Woo!
Good job!
[ All cheering ]
♪♪
‐Good job!
‐He loves it!
He loves it!
Apse: I never looked at this
as a contest
that we're trying to win,
just having fun, being there,
doing the best.
In my book, we all won.
"King of the Road" is over!
♪ Riding on ♪
♪ Waiting for ♪
Thank you, Don.
It's really anyone's contest.
Shit, man.
Fifty grand on the line,
it would be nice,
But who knows, you know?
You never know.
Ba‐bah, yeah!
We'll see you at the finale.
[ All cheering ]
Phelps: And that's the end
of "King of the Road."
Does anybody do it better?
No, they...don't.
♪ Come on out
and have a good time ♪
♪ Sometime tonight ♪
♪♪
[ Indistinct talking ]
He had Nike shorts on,
and he's fully erect.
Huston: We're back in LA.
Trip is over.
We've got the team together
right now.
We're going to watch
a couple episodes
and probably watch a bunch
of embarrassing moments.
Right now, we got
Nyjah Houston pissing,
and I'm gonna take a swig.
Nyjah's piss.
Yeah, that Nyjah piss
is powerful.
Smith: Going to the finale,
I'm really, really excited.
Liquid acid?
I've been waiting
for all these months
just to see exactly
what those teams were up to.
Sinclair: So the guys are
getting ready to go
over to finale,
to the end of the end
of the road.
If there's any bonus points,
Nick's gonna get
all of them tonight,
so maybe he can make up
for some of those lost points
or points he never earned
in the first place.
This is about to bring back
a lot of...memories.
[ Laughter ]
All: Ahhh!
What?
Damn, they really
got his ass.
That's fire.
[ All cheering ]
‐Woo, Zion!
‐Look at this!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
I love you so much.
Dad.
You know I love you, right?
‐That's heavy, dude.
‐For real.
‐Yeah, for real.
‐That's some heavy shit.
I love you 'cause
you're my son,
my inspiration
and motivation.
You give me
so much inspiration.
Oh, my God.
You're sweating so.
[ Laughter ]
‐Yeah, their's was heavy.
‐That was...
‐Their whole thing was heavy.
‐Almost cried right there, man.
I'm not going to lie.
‐You are crying right now.
‐Wow.
‐Holy shit.
This is another prank.
It's another prank.
No way, dude.
[ Indistinct shouting,
laughter ]
Oh! That was concrete.
‐[ Laughter ]
‐You okay?
That clip's insane, dude.
‐Butt.
‐That hurts.
Man:
Holy shit, dude.
No one told him
to hill bomb in diapers.
Nick...
hill bomb in diapers.
[ Laughter ]
Sinclair.
Yeah...you, you liar.
You're a liar.
Nick, hill bomb in diapers.
Get that on film.
Mike is a...liar.
Sinclair: It happens sometimes.
It's usually not
worth it to lie.
This time, it was.
[ Laughter]
Who's going to win?
I don't know.
Feeling good,
got a one‐in‐three shot chance,
so who knows?
‐Next on "King o[ Screams ]
Ba‐bah!
‐Dude.
‐There we go.
King of the...road!
The finale, baby.
It's six months after
"King of the Road."
We've gathered the troops back
together for a big party.
[ All shouting ]
Yeah!
Can you get it in focus?
Burnett: Tonight,
we've got Element,
Real, Foundation
and all their friends,
well‐wishers, company owners.
Right now, they're serving
some little tri‐tip
right on the bottom
of skateboards,
P‐Stone style.
Get down on that shit.
Ooh.
King of the...
Road finale!
We got a lot of friends
back tonight.
It's really a meeting
of the minds
of "King of the Road."
I took a crap and peed
in my own mouth.
And we're going to do
a few challenges
for some fabulous prizes,
going to give out some awards,
relive some memories,
and then, most importantly,
we're going to be handing out
the big cheese.
I don't want to know who won.
I don't.
I don't want to know who won.
I wish there was no winner.
I wish we all just meet up
and watch the video,
but it's gonna be
crazy, yeah.
That'd be pretty cool if we won.
Burnett: Good times,
some bros,
a few burgers and some beer,
some laughs.
Holy shit!
I'd say our troubles
are over, dude.
♪♪
Check!
Wait,
I get to sit by the keg?
Evan, that's filled
with piss.
Cold, though.
You're gonna be stoked.
Hey, we need that Hennessy
right now,
right back here.
Any extra challenge for points
right now,
Nick's doing them all.
Merlino: Right now?
You need those points.
Yeah. Right now.
It's over.
There's still more points.
You're not going to...
prank me twice, man.
No, no, no. No.
This is not a prank.
♪♪
[ Crowd cheering ]
Okay. Here it is.
All of us,
back together again,
and tonight,
we're gonna find out
who are the new
"King of the Road" champions.
[ All cheering ]
Because as you know,
the "King of the Road" champions
get the cash, $50,000,
the trophy,
and the most prestigious
real estate
in all of skateboarding ‐‐
the cover of Thrasher Magazine.
[ All cheering ]
Let's get this thing started,
but it wouldn't be
"King of the Road"
without my illustrious co‐host,
Mr. Here Comes Trouble...
What's up, mother...
...Mr. Andy Roy!
You there,
you guys...ready?
Bringing him out
onto the stage
we've got man ramp
and other man ramp.
‐I think it's men ramp.
‐Yeah, men ramp.
[ All cheering ]
Thank you, guys.
Stuck the landing.
What's up, you guys?!
Ba‐ba‐bah!
You guys ready?
[ All cheer ]
...king of the...road!
I don't even think
his microphone is on.
Yeah. They turned it off.
Enjoy the...night.
All right.
Let's get to some awards.
We have skateboarding's
bad lieutenant ‐‐
Mr. Jake Phelps, my friend.
Here he is.
[ All cheer ]
[ Whistles ]
Skateboarding, if you made
ever trick you tried,
it wouldn't be any fun.
When I see people get stuffed,
I laugh, ha‐ha suckers.
Guess what?
We call it Hall of Meat.
Let's roll this clip,
and we'll show who the...
made hall of motherfeet...
hall of mother...
hall of feet...
Hall of Meat!
Roll the...clip!
...clip!
‐Do it right here.
‐That was bad.
Oh, dude,
you were on one that night.
‐Oh, my...
‐He's...up right now.
‐Andy's got it.
‐Yes!
That was a flip out.
‐Oh, God.
‐He didn't die.
Aaaah!
♪♪
Oh‐h‐h‐h!
♪♪
Oh, shit!
[ Groans ]
Oh, my...
[ Roy laughs ]
Oh, my God.
♪♪
Jesus!
That is Zion.
‐The whole thing.
‐He can fly!
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Oh, ho.
[ Laughter ]
‐He's in.
‐Oh.
♪♪
Jack, you got
to stay away
from the handrails
for a little bit.
♪♪
‐You got that shit.
‐Woo!
‐Oh.
‐Taco.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Caught a body.
Let me hit that.
Close the suitcase.
Sinclair: Yes, Nick.
Bring it on home.
Oh, that hurt so much.
‐Sorry, Nick.
‐Attitude!
This probab‐‐
This probably won it.
Aaron, Aaron.
Ah, I don't even want
to watch this.
[ Crowd groans ]
All: Oh.
Phelps: We don't call him
Jaws for nothing.
‐Dude.
‐Jesus, Jaws.
[ All groaning ]
♪♪
‐Bro!
‐Dude...
‐Did he wear a mouthpiece?
‐Chin to floor.
Oh, that's...
That's 100% it.
Come on up here, kid.
[ Cheers and applause ]
All day!
[ Cheering continues ]
‐Yeah, Jaws.
‐...
He's always winning, man.
Always wins.
He's a winner, you know?
That's what happens.
Thank you,
I guess.
My teeth are fixed now,
so it's all good.
Good teeth!
[ All cheering ]
Whooo!
Jaws!
For our first challenge
of the night,
we've got something special.
Let's show it.
This one is called...
the Jaws tooth
shoot‐out.
‐[ Roy screams ]
‐All right.
Roy:
It looks like my teeth.
You wish your teeth
looked like that.
I know.
I'm...jealous!
I need the other mystery guest,
Jamie, Axel.
They got more than I do.
Burnett:
When I say, "Go,"
you're gonna throw your wheels
at Jaws' mouth.
When he looks like Andy Roy,
you have won.
On your mark.
Get set.
Get set.
Go!
Junk it.
One.
‐Yeah.
‐Jaws, go!
[ All shouting ]
It's leaking.
[ All shouting ]
Jamie, breathe.
Jamie, breathe!
Jamie!
‐Jamie, breathe!
[ Shouting continues ]
Yeah, Jamie!
Yeah!
‐Hey, Nick is in there?
‐How did Nick get in there?
‐Nick is in the mouth?
‐He's in. He's throwing.
[ Shouting continues ]
Man: Harder, Jaws.
My arm is so tired.
Last throw.
‐Stop everybody.
‐...
That pretty much just shit
on me.
Do you see it?
Who won?
Jamie Foy.
Jamie Foy!
[ All cheer ]
You got a hell
of an arm.
How you feeling right now?
Tired as hell.
Hey, there you go,
a beautiful blender.
We need that.
Our team needs that.
Peterson: Yeah, Jamie.
Roy: Next on
"King of the Road"
‐Woo!
‐Yeah, is that a nice blender?
It seems like
a good blender.
I wonder what happened
to our blender
when we got married?
‐That's what I was thinking too.
‐Yeah.
This next award,
we've got a special
guest presenter.
This skater tears it up
as hard on the dance floor
as she does
on the halfpipe ‐‐
Nora Vasconcellos.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, Nora!
‐Let's go, Nora.
‐South Shore.
How's everybody
doing tonight?
[ All cheer ]
Yeah! Look at these faces.
Look at the teeth.
‐Hey!
‐You're looking good.
Okay.
So this award is
the Bob Gnar Award ‐‐
the best transition trick
of "King of the Road."
Roll the clip!
♪♪
[ Indistinct shouting ]
...
That was...
really sick.
...glued to his feet.
Man: You got it,
Nicky.
Roy: Come on, guys.
Come on.
♪♪
[ Indistinct shouting ]
You went under.
[ All cheering, laughter ]
‐Evie!
‐He wants to fly today.
♪♪
‐Oh, my gosh.
‐Wow.
‐Holy shit.
‐Oh, wow.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
[ All cheering ]
And the winner is..
Evan Smith!
[ All cheering ]
Get up here, beautiful.
‐Thanks, Nora.
‐Congratulations.
This one goes out to all the
legends in the past right there.
[ Laughter, cheers ]
And Ecuador.
And Ecuador.
[ Laughter ]
Okay. Sick.
‐Hey, right on.
‐All right.
Nobody does "King of the Road"
for the money.
They don't do it
for the fame.
People get in the
"King of the Road" van
all for the love.
This year, there was
so much love in these vans
that we needed to make sure
it was recognized
in a court of law.
Let's check it out.
Evan, I've been thinking.
Will you marry me?
Yes!
‐Awesome! He's like...
‐This is insane.
[ Laughter ]
Man: Love is the most precious
and universal force
in the world.
Aaaaah!
‐I, Aiden...
‐I, Aiden...
‐...take you, Cole...
‐...take you, Cole...
That was real love looks
right there.
That was Mike looking at
his Snickers bars.
[ Laughter ]
Do you, Robert,
take Aaron
to be your true and lawful
wedded husband?
I do.
Yeah!
Now, by the power invested in me
by the worldwide web...
...it is my privilege
to pronounce you
as husband and husband.
You can kiss
your partner.
[ Laughter ]
It's official!
Aaaaah!
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Whistling, laughter ]
♪♪
Burnett: Let's get a round
of applause to the newlyweds.
[ Whistles ]
That's amazing.
Would you get a prenup
with that or what?
[ Laughter ]
Burnett: Can we get the couples
here in these chairs.
‐Yeah.
‐All right.
Walter!
[ Crowd "awws" ]
Come here, Walter.
Tonight, we're gonna play
a fabulous game called
Know Your Spouse!
[ Gong sounds ]
[ Applause ]
And to present
this game tonight,
we've got special celebrity host
Mr. Louie Barletta.
Da‐da‐da‐da.
♪♪
Well, well, well.
Is anybody here still married?
‐I think.
‐Pretty sure.
Definitely
still married.
Well, what we're
going to do tonight
is we're going to ask you
a series of questions,
but if you get
the question wrong,
Andy here is going
to cut you off
and give you a slice of, uh...
the wedding cake.
I hate cake, so I hope
I don't have to eat it.
Dude, I hate cake.
Let's start off
with Robbie.
...
[ Laughter ]
This is a little math one,
all right?
‐Oh.
‐Math!
So take
the number of times
Jaws has been on
"King of the Road,"
you times it by 12.
Now subtract how many teeth
he got knocked out.
What number is that?
Hold on, hold on.
What? What kind of
bullshit is...
I don't know,
but you're loud.
Can you
believe that?
My voice is loud.
Know Your Spouse!
Hold on, hold on. 26!
Wrong!
[ Gong sounds ]
‐It's 56. 56!
‐Oh, here we go.
That's a lot of teeth.
Robbie Brockel,
you do not know your spouse.
‐Ohhhh!
‐Dude, I hate cake.
Oh, you got to eat it.
I'm not eating the cake.
Foundation ‐‐
Cole, name the country
that borders the country
that Aiden's parents
are from.
Ireland.
Wrong!
[ Gong sounds ]
His parents
are from Scotland,
so the name of the country
would be England.
Oh, he bit my...finger!
[ Laughter ]
Oh, he's a biter.
Aaaaah!
Ah! For the final question
of know your spouse, Evan...
Yes.
♪♪
‐I hate cake.
‐Cake!
[ Phelps chants "Cake! ]
[ Chanting distorts ]
Does Tyson have weed
on him right now?
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Hold on, hold on.
Man: Check your hair.
Check your hair.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Oh, he doesn't.
This is the one time.
[ Shouting continues ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
Mike, tell them
what they've won.
Well, Louie,
they won fantastic bath robes.
♪♪
‐Robes! Whaaat?
‐...
‐...
‐Sick!
[ All cheering ]
[ Laughter ]
Evan and Tyson,
you know your spouses!
Thank you all
for competing!
Man: Oh, that shit is gonna be
in his hair for months.
Roy: Next on
"King of the Road"
[ Indistinct talking ]
‐Where's Walter?
‐Where is he at?
‐He's right here.
‐Don't let him eat cake.
All right, when you're on
"King of the Road,"
there's a certain
level of trust.
When your team manager
asks you to do a trick,
you got to know he's trying
to maximize those points.
‐Where is Nick?
‐Right here.
So for our next award,
we got a special presenter.
‐What's happening?
‐Oh, shit.
Evan: Oh, that damn
helmet again.
Knight number one,
reveal yourself!
‐Oh.
‐All right.
Nick Merlino, Sr.
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐What's up, dude?
‐Yeah.
‐Yeah, Nick.
‐Whoo!
It's your...pops, dude.
Sit down, Nick.
I'll go sit down.
I just wanted a hug.
I'm here to give the award
for the best prank.
Get back up there, Nick.
Roll the clip!
[ Maniacal laughter ]
[ "Taps" plays on trumpet ]
[ Laughter ]
We're going to...up Nick
every single day
and not tell him.
The oldest member of the team
can only drink
Pedialyte and Ensure.
He has to skate with a cane
and wear an adult diaper
over their pants.
Sick.
He's going to rack up, like,
1,000 points in his mind.
He's got nothing.
‐Lift it up.
‐[ Chuckles ]
I mean, like, I was bummed,
but it was just, like,
you know,
I know it's for the points.
‐Good job, Nick.
‐Does it burn yet?
‐It's pretty good form, Nick.
‐That thing is big.
‐Let me see this.
‐Do I look beautiful?
Sometimes I just need
to be told what to do.
I got a special bonus
that came in from Burnett.
"50 points each bug a day."
It's an ant.
It was a buffet.
[ Chuckling ]
It was a buffet.
The disgusting shit
I had to eat.
Get the fly, Nick.
Merlino: Do you want
to eat a...fly
while your friend is taking
a shit right next to you?
[ Laughter ]
I don't want to.
He doesn't
like flies.
But I did.
That was...up.
Peeing in my own
...mouth...
‐Oh, no. No.
‐Oh, hell no.
...while I'm taking a shit.
Man: Nick!
‐Oh, no. Oh, God.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
That sucks.
If that doesn't...count,
I will...kill everyone.
It counts, Nick.
Hey, I got good news,
and I got bad news.
What?
The good news is,
we're in the running
for possible best prank
on a teammate.
Okay.
The bad news is...
Here it goes.
...everything you did
was a fake challenge.
Everything you did.
‐Oh, man.
‐Yeah, Nick.
He did so much shit.
You get the best prank.
‐Nicky!
‐Okay, Mike.
Burnett:
Mike, can we get you up here?
You got some explaining to do.
‐Some 'splaining to do.
‐Explaining.
Do a hill bomb
in a diaper.
What was your reaction
when you found out
there were no points?
‐My soul was crushed.
‐[ Chuckling ] Oh, shit.
‐Oh, my God.
‐God damn.
All right.
I got a question.
What kind of manager
is this?
Sometimes,
he's a real nice guy,
but most times,
he's an asshole.
[ Laughter ]
Yes! Thank you!
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm so sorry.
Okay. Right now,
we got a little challenge.
‐Like it?
‐Yeah.
We're gonna settle
the score.
But good news, Mike.
It involves pizza.
Oh.
Let's bring this out.
‐Ohhhh.
‐Ohhh, shit.
Mike, you're going to eat
the damn thing
before we can
even try the challenge.
I'm getting a slice
of that. Ohhhh!
There's probably poop on it
or something.
Merlino: Hey, Mike doesn't
eat peppers or onions.
‐What do you think, Mike?
‐It looks huge.
I don't like that style.
‐I like pepperoni.
‐Can I help?
Buried somewhere in this pizza
is a special prize.
However...
Ooh.
...it's going to be the keys
to these handcuffs.
‐Oh, no.
‐Yes.
Merlino:
And I'm getting them.
On your mark,
get set, go!
♪♪
Give me that
God damn pizza!
[ Merlino screaming ]
[ Both shouting indistinctly ]
Sinclair: I need
the God damn key!
‐Give me ‐‐
‐There you go!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Burnett:
Before you bite into it,
look for the metal.
Oh, found one.
Nick has got it.
He's grabbing.
Give me
the God damn key.
♪♪
And the winner is
Nick Merlino!
Bring out
the fantastic prize!
♪♪
Are you serious?
A...poker table?
That's right!
[ All cheering ]
A custom "King of the Road"
poker table!
‐Nicky!
‐Yo, dude.
That is the...
coolest thing ever, dude!
Burnett: Let's get
this pizza out of here.
Where you going with it, dude?
Oh, my God.
That's going to be
so fun to play poker on
this summer, dude.
‐Did you see his face?
‐He couldn't believe it.
All right,
this next award is called
Nyjah's Nar‐Nar.
Man: Oh, yeah.
You have your own award.
Nyjah, you did not
win this year.
[ Laughter ]
All good.
So I want you to come up
and read this card.
Come on.
Let's welcome him.
‐All right, Nyjah.
‐Nyjah Huston.
Good, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Nyjah's Nar‐Nar.
‐That's you!
‐Third person, baby.
It's for the wildest, craziest,
most technical trick
that only somebody like
Nyjah can do.
[ Laughter ]
Roll clip!
♪♪
‐Yeah, Robbie!
‐Wow.
...yeah.
‐Tyson!
‐Yeah, Tyson.
Man:
It's a triple kinker.
‐Oh, my God.
‐Wow!
that was sick.
‐Tyson, you're gnarly.
‐Go get it, Cole.
Man: Yeah, Cole.
♪♪
No, this is...
[ Cheers and applause ]
He rock‐fakied
a handrail.
Rock‐fakied
that...handrail.
Jesus, man!
‐Yeah, Cole!
‐That was insane.
Just give it
to yourself, Nyjah.
‐Nah, nah, nah.
‐That's Cole's.
That's...so sick.
And the winner is...
Tyson!
‐What? No.
‐Cole!
[ Cheers and applause ]
...yeah.
It's just cause Nyjah couldn't
even do your trick.
Nyjah body variables
so much.
All right, Tyson.
How's it going so far?
How's the show for you?
It's pretty cool.
It's awesome.
[ Laughter ]
Is that it?
No.
Tyson...
We've got a special challenge
just for you.
[ Laughs ]
If you could have any challenge
right now,
what would it be?
[ Chuckles ]
I swear to God,
watch. Watch.
‐For my hair to be clean.
‐Clear hair?
Burnett: We got something
a little bit better.
‐No!
‐[ All cheer ]
♪♪
Let's welcome
the newest Element pro,
Tyson Peterson!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Hey, Mom!
I know I probably smell
crazy right now.
‐You smell so gnarly.
‐So gross.
Oh. I'm so proud
of you, Tyson.
You just don't...know
how proud I am.
I love you so much.
‐Where's your weed?
‐I don't like beer.
‐You need weed?
‐I do need weed.
You guys need weed?
That is crazy.
‐I love you guys, dude.
‐Anytime.
Roy: Next on
"King of the Road"...
[ Indistinct talking ]
♪♪
[ Chuckles ]
The next award up
for grabs ‐‐
Death from Above.
Roll the clip!
♪♪
Man: Evan!
That was the first...
day.
[ Laughs ]
Bury it!
‐That was...
‐God damn.
Wow.
Evan!
‐...it, Corey.
‐Bling, bling.
‐Jesus.
‐Oh, my God.
‐Oh, wow.
‐Holy shit!
‐Yeah, Glick.
‐It's a make!
We'll take it!
♪♪
Man: Yeah, Kyle!
♪♪
‐Jesus!
‐Woo!
Dude...yes.
♪♪
Can you play that
in slow‐mo again?
And the winner ‐‐
Kyle Walker!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Appreciate that.
I'm going to go back
and kick‐flip that shit,
you'll see.
How do you guys think
you're doing so far?
We doing all right.
You know what
the...going on.
Yeah, let's get it.
Real squad.
[ Crowd cheers ]
‐Kid walks.
‐Okay.
We've got a new award
this year.
It's a special award.
Being a true road dog
means waking up every day
ready for adventure.
The P‐Stone Spirit Award...
[ Crowd cheers ]
...goes out to the ultimate
"King of the Road" road dog.
‐...big dog!
‐P‐Stone!
The person who puts in
the most miles...
[ Cheering continues ]
...has the most fun...
‐All right!
‐Woo!
...and keeps the tightest ship.
Let's watch the clip.
♪♪
Woo!
Woo!
‐Preston!
‐Yeah...yeah, Stone!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Rooney: You get asked
to do Thrasher trip
or "King of the Road,"
you drop everything.
Yeah, I'm down.
‐Rhino!
‐Road dog!
This was the ninth
"King of the Road"
that I've been on.
Every year, you think,
"This was the gnarliest year,"
and then you go on the next one,
and it gets gnarlier.
Burnett:
Get it, Kyle.
‐Yeah.
‐P‐Stone.
Rooney: You walk away
from this trip,
you know, you can always
look back and be like,
"I...did that."
Rhino!
Each "King of the Road"
is just going to get
heavier and heavier.
Burnett: Come on up, Rhino!
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐...sick, dude.
‐Yeah, Rhino!
[ Cheering continues ]
You guys being kind.
Yeah, Rhino!
Everybody grab
the old pepper cup.
‐...yeah.
‐Let's...go.
All right.
Make a toast here for P‐Stone.
Nobody can ever
fill his shoes.
I definitely can't
fill his shoes
because he's the...
raddest dude out.
Thank you very much.
‐Yeah!
‐Forever!
‐P‐stone!
‐Forever!
To the big dog!
[ Cheers and applause ]
All right.
This year, our mystery guests
were next...level.
The mystery guest MVP
is the guest
who got the most points
for their team.
Roll the clip!
‐Reveal yourself.
‐[ Cheers and applause ]
Burnett: Mystery guest winner,
800 points for his team...
‐...yeah.
‐...Jamie Foy.
♪♪
‐Great.
‐Oh, my God.
That was insane.
‐Yeah, Jamie...Foy, dude.
‐Jamie laid it...down.
‐Yeah, Jamie.
‐...yeah, Jamie.
Oh, shit.
♪♪
‐Oh!
‐Check!
‐Come on up here, Jamie.
‐Crazy. [ Laughs ]
And by the way, he's our
2017 Skater of the Year.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Uh, just thank Element
for letting me in the van
and having a great time
and second year, baby.
Like, it was a lot of fun.
Thank you guys.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Okay. Jamie Foy!
Go, big guy!
Big boy!
All right.
Thanks, guys.
Crazy.
Roy: Next♪♪n
"King of the Road"..
You know, we're at
the finale right now.
We're about to crack off.
As I was
a little kid, man,
I've always dreamed
of trips like this.
This is
the ultimate road trip.
...get some. Straight up.
Bringing...hype.
Thanks, Andy.
Much...respect.
I love you, guys.
Can't wait to see
who...took it.
That's right.
The MVPs are
all very special,
Most Valuable Persons
in the van.
Let's roll this clip.
Check this shit out.
Roll the clip!
♪♪
Man: Evan!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah!
That was...
Man: God damn!
♪♪
‐Spinning to win.
‐That...
Wow!
That was...dude.
That is
so gnarly.
Oh, Evan must have
taken some, like,
seriously magic mushrooms
'cause he's just on fire
right now.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
‐Switch, heeeeels!
‐Switch heels.
♪♪
‐Ohhhhh.
‐What the...was that.
‐Oh!
‐Damn!
He did it.
He did it.
♪♪
‐Yeah, Corey.
‐Piss on Andy's face.
‐God damn it, Corey.
‐No points.
‐No points.
‐He's got stage fright.
Glick's dick revenge
right here.
Man: Oh. Glick!
That's...
‐You're...
‐That's right!
He's stacking.
♪♪
Oh, yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐Jesus, dude!
‐Oh, he's gonna be...
Oh! Oh!
MVP.
♪♪
Man: Dude,
that was insane.
‐Get it, Chip!
‐Let's go, Chip.
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, Chip!
Chip is here!
♪♪
‐Chip!
‐Yeah, Chip!
...Chip, baby.
♪♪
Ping.
I'm not even
proud of this turd.
I am so proud
of this turd.
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐Yeah, Robbie!
‐Check!
I think I'm gonna go
back for more.
I'm still peeing.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, Chip.
‐Yeah, Chip.
‐All right.
The guy that won the MVP...
He's also Phelper's Choice.
It's...Evan Smith, dude.
[ Cheers and applause ]
...yeah.
That's what we do.
Hey.
Guess what?
Skate rats for life.
Jake said it.
No, I don't got to say anything.
Jake said it, "Skate rats."
For life.
For life.
Yeah, baby.
‐That's too nice.
‐Thank you.
...yeah, dude.
Okay.
[ Crowd cheers ]
There's only one thing
left to do.
Holy shit.
All right.
This was an epic year.
But unfortunately,
one team is going to win.
The other teams aren't.
Oops.
Well, when you
put it like that.
Shoo.
So in third place...
‐You guys ready?
‐Not again.
...Foundation.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Let's give it up for Foundation.
Man: That's our spot.
‐All right.
‐You guys...killed it.
‐Straight up.
‐Everybody, let's get up.
Burnett: All right. Let's get
the teams on each side.
You guys,
we did it again.
‐We did.
‐How does that happen?
We got a nice spot
over here in third.
‐It feels good.
‐Third feels great.
This is the closest
"King of the Road"
we've ever done.
The difference between
first and second place ‐‐
180 points.
That's close.
That's really close.
Jake is gonna
give the signal.
Oh, my God.
My legs are shaking, dude.
‐Aaah.
‐I know.
Aaaaah!
Phelps: One, two, three.
Drop the...cover.
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐...yeah!
‐Evan!
Phelps: Element won it!
King of the...road.
‐We...won!
‐180 God damn points.
♪♪
[ Cheering continues ]
We didn't get money,
but we didn't get last.
Element, I told you.
I told you this shit was right.
Element...yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Mathews: I can't believe
this just happened.
We won "King of the Road."
Evan got the cover.
...540 to fakie.
It's ridiculous.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Big congrats
to the Element dudes.
They're amazing.
The cover is amazing.
Evan Smith is bonkers,
out‐of‐this‐world talented.
[ Cheers and applause ]
King of the...road!
I'm still going,
so if we're invited again,
we'll go till
the wheels fall off.
Shit was crazy.
Thanks for coming, everybody.
Have a good night.
Jamie Thomas.
He wants a piece.
Remember, we're skate rats.
South Shore.
All the rest of this shit...
Yeah.
...who cares?
[ Indistinct talking ]
Cheers!
‐Whoa, dude.
‐Holy shit.
King of the road!
[ Cheers and applause ]
‐Check!
‐No points.
It's just the way it works.
‐Show is over.