King of the Road (2016-…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Get the Goddamn Pig's Feet - full transcript
The teams meet up in Reno to kick off the festivities and Element takes the early lead.
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---
Please do not attempt to perform
any of these stunts
or activities in this show.
They are super dangerous.
Crazy, wild, dangerous.
The stunts seen are either
performed by professionals
or under the supervision
of professionals.
Serious professionals.
This show also contains
bad language.
♪♪
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
Let's get fired up!
Come on!
Oh, my God.
The rail is on fire.
That's so sketchy.
‐Oh, my God.
‐Hell riding.
Man: [ Gasps ]
‐Oh!
‐Oh!
Man #2: You're on fire!
[ Cheering ]
"King of the Road,"
does anybody do it better?
No, they...don't.
♪ Raw oysters, Texas Pete ♪
Ohh! Go home!
♪ Sea urchin on the reef ♪
You're evil!
♪ Sour cheeseburger bit to eat ♪
Roy: Three teams of top skaters
battling it out to accomplish
amazing stunts and challenges.
♪ Lick butter goes with keef ♪
You did it!
♪ Into the cocoa leaf ♪
This year, we have Element...
‐Oh!
‐...Real...
♪ Fresh maggots on my teeth,
they're cheap ♪
‐Ohh!
‐And Foundation!
We're...
♪ Oh, baby ♪
[ Whistling ]
They go from city to city...
Let's go get
...hectic.
...for 13 days...
[ Cheering ]
...documenting every
crazy trick...
Ohh, my God!
...and bone‐crushing slam.
You hit your nards?
It's time to
go skateboarding.
[ Whistling continues ]
Everybody needs to
be here.
♪♪
King of the Road miracle.
‐Whoo!
‐When the dust settles...
I love you guys.
...the team who's done
the gnarliest stunts...
What the?!
...is gonna be crowned
King of the...Road!
[ Cheering ]
I did not sign up
for this.
♪♪
"King of the Road" season three.
We're here in beautiful
Reno, Nevada...
[ Truck honks ]
...and it's...cold.
After last year, we realized
the sky is the limit.
These might be
the hardest tricks
and the wildest challenges
we've ever put in the book.
Of course, it wouldn't be
"King of the Road"
without Thrasher editor
in chief Jake Phelps
here to give it
to them straight...
I'll see you on
the highway to hell.
Woo, yes! Yeah!
Burnett: ...and Andy Roy
from Antihero Skateboards
to get the guys hyped.
Fire this shit up!
Ladies and gentlemen, we bring
you Rattlesnake Mountain.
Roy: Da, da, da, da!
We built the, uh,
rattlesnake obstacle.
Oh!
Oh, yeah!
I don't know.
This thing may not work.
That thing
...throws you.
Hot damn.
"King of the Road"
is born of chaos,
and it's always going to be
a little disorganized,
and Jake and Andy definitely
add to that flavor.
I'm so, so ‐‐
You hit me
in the eye with a rock.
Oh, I'm so sorry, Jake.
It's all fun and games
until someone loses an eye.
[ Laughs ]
We've got three amazing teams,
all raring to go.
Today is the day.
Off to the first challenge!
[ Laughs ]
This is normal.
This is a normal thing
that's happening right now.
‐Straight off to the rainbow.
‐It happened.
Element is one of the biggest
brands in skateboarding,
as close as we can
get to a super team.
♪♪
They've got the contest champ,
freaky weirdos,
hippies, athletes,
foreign dudes.
Are my socks
all right today?
This is a stacked squad.
Oh!
First up on Element,
Evan Smith.
I don't even know
what Evan can't do.
Yeah!
He's gifted.
Like, he's kind of magical.
[ Cheering ]
He's also the weird one.
[ Laughs ]
I feel like, Jared, would you
hold my hand under the ground
just so I can lead
you to the roots?
What?
What?
Wait.
What?
Element, got invited on in 2014,
and I got brought up into
the interdimensional chaos.
[ Cheering ]
And we said we're never
going to do it again.
Right now, we got
Nyjah Huston pissing,
and I'm going to take a swig.
No way!
[ Coughing ]
Burnett:
He's so fired up, he's making up
challenges for himself
before this thing even starts.
It's hot.
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
Typical Evan, doing challenges
for no reason.
Burnett: Next up, Nyjah Huston.
He is the contest champ.
This guy is one of
the most famous skateboarders
in the world.
♪♪
He's so big‐time
that he hasn't really spent
that much time with the Element
team in the last few years,
but if he goes full blast,
they're going to be
almost unbeatable.
I've been on Element
since I've been 7 years old.
I can never picture myself
riding for anyone else.
I've done one
"King of the Road."
When he told me,
I was like, "...again?
I'm not shitting in no van."
But bottom line, I mean,
I want to be out there helping
out for the team, you know?
Ah!
‐Andy, man.
‐Mason.
All right.
Mason, you ready for this?
Yep. All right.
Mason, he's a powerhouse.
When you're on a skate trip,
you want everyone to feel like
they're a living organism
all together at one.
Mason will take the time to make
sure that everyone is connected.
Mason, he has one
of the worst tempers.
[ Chuckles ]
Ugh...
You're going to get a lot
of good freak‐outs from him.
Ugh!
Silva:
Winning "King of the Road"
would be pretty special.
Now with all of the trips that
I've been on with these guys,
this is an experience.
This is something
you'll remember
for the rest of your life.
Burnett: Next up, Madars Apse...
Hey.
...the Latvian superhero.
The things that he loves
about skateboarding
he's attracted to are
so not all that normal.
His head is in
a different place.
[ Chuckles ]
I've seen him do tricks
that I never thought
were even possible.
He's firecrackered a 22‐step.
He can speak, like,
four or five languages.
I need some smarts out here
on "King of the Road."
It's good to do what you love,
and if Tyson loves to roll
joints, let him do it, you know?
Nope, third.
I smoked one this morning
before the van
and when we got to the van,
and then now that
we're at the park, third.
Tyson, he's new to the team.
He's the am on the trip.
♪♪
We brought him out on our
Am Scramble trip this year
even though people
didn't really know who he was.
[ Cheering ]
And he won over everybody.
You're...dude.
‐Woo‐hoo!
‐Right?
He's the sweetest kid on Earth,
and he's super sensitive.
Smith: He's in this, like,
youthful, naive state.
This is going to break him.
"King of the Road"
is going to break him.
When it comes to this,
I'm just going to have fun
and hang out with my friends.
[ Chuckles ]
Look at Tyson.
He's so high, he thinks his
skateboard is a gun right now.
[ Laughter ]
Burnett: Next team,
Foundation Skateboards...
Oh, shit.
...led by Mike
"Big Pink" Sinclair.
‐Let me get some.
‐Yeah.
You might remember Mike from
season one with Toy Machine.
[ Yelling, laughter ]
The worst...
team manager ever.
Billy got divorced during
"King of the Road."
Turns out Foundation
is their sister company
that Mike also runs.
Mike took a chance on some guys
that maybe were overlooked
by some of the bigger brands.
These guys aren't doing it
for a big paycheck.
They're doing it because
they're best friends,
and they just love
skateboarding.
What's up, Nick?
All right. Right!
They're definitely
the underdogs.
What is this for?
Shut up!
It's a washing machine.
It's a washing machine?
Nick Merlino is so good,
he got tried out
by all the biggest brands,
but his personality
is so crazy...
Whoa...hate you!
...Mike Sinclair was the only
one who could deal with him.
If I could legally kill someone,
I'd kill Merlino.
Nick is the only person
in the many years
that I've worked
in skateboarding
that I've almost fought.
Oh, dude!
But he's honestly
one of the best skateboarders
I've ever seen in person.
He has the biggest heart,
and he means well. He just...
He's like that...up
brother you got,
but you ‐‐ you love him.
Merlino: There's a lot of
money on the line.
It's going to be cutthroat.
...the other teams.
We're going to...
win this shit, you know?
‐Hey, Cole.
‐Yeah!
Burnett: Cole Wilson, the rookie
from Louisville, Kentucky.
As far as skating goes,
he's literally the
gnarliest dude I know.
Yeah, first time
"King of the Road,"
super psyched
with my best friends.
There is no plan.
We're just winging it.
I'm not a contest
skater at all.
But I'll do
this contest every year.
This year, the competition is
pretty, like, gnarly.
Sketch.
But we got Aidan Campbell,
so it shouldn't be a problem.
Can I even
still skate, dude?
‐Still got it.
‐I got it.
Still got it.
Burnett: Next up,
Aidan Campbell.
It turns out Aidan's very first
board was a Foundation,
and this year,
after he kind of blew up,
he got a lot of big offers
for more money
and decided to stick
with Foundation.
Think that says a lot.
Campbell:
It's a childhood dream really.
We were little kids,
and we'd make up our own
"King of the Road" trip
in eighth grade, you know?
Like, and now being on
"King of the Road," it's crazy.
‐Can I get a cerveza?
‐Yeah.
Servold:
I'm basically the beer man,
keep the team hydrated
with cold beer.
Here's a nice, cold one.
♪♪
Luong: I look at Dakota
as kind of team captain.
He was the first one
to get on Foundation
where I thought, "Whoa,
Foundation is doing it again."
He's a team leader, but...
We're going to get drunk,
drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk,
drunk, drunk, drunk,
drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk.
...sometimes that might mean
leading the guys to the bar.
♪♪
Next up, Corey Glick.
Sinclair:
Corey Glick is the newest
edition to the Foundation squad.
He's good at everything, man.
He can skate stairs,
gaps, rails.
Burnett: He's coming out
of his shell a little bit
as you'll notice from
the stylish John Oates mustache.
[ Laughs ]
That would be...awesome
to be on the cover.
I've always wanted one.
That's, like, one of
the coolest things
you can do in skateboarding
right there.
Sinclair:
I handpicked these guys
to be on this team,
and I want them to show
the world how cool they are
and how...good
they are because that's it.
We don't have a strategy.
We didn't come
with some secret shit.
We're just here, and we're
going to do our best.
We do have a secret weapon.
We got Walter.
Peterson: His walk is so nice.
See you, Walter.
Man: Walter, what are you
doing over there?
‐You're on our team, bud.
‐Ain't going with...
See what knuckleheads
we got coming, huh?
Burnett: And last but not least,
Real Skateboards.
Real is a legacy team, one of
the most respected in the biz,
super hard to get on,
even harder to turn pro.
♪♪
This is an all‐killer,
no‐filler skate team.
Ooh, this place is sick.
Burnett: First up on Real,
we've got Kyle Walker.
Brock: Kyle, he's all around
the best dude.
I'm...super excited
to see what he's going to do.
His ender in this last part
is the most...up
kinked rail ever.
♪ Big wins
Big wins ♪
♪ Big wins
Big wins ♪
♪ Big wins
Yes! ♪
[ Cheering ]
Olson: He just killed it
all year last year,
got Skater of the Year.
Yeah!
So this year, I think he's
just as fired up to skate,
and he'll be killing it
for the team.
Squad is good. Squad is healthy.
We got young Zion.
Yeah. We're going to turn it up
and have some fun.
♪ Big wins ♪
Oh, shit.
Zion just got smoked.
Ugh.
‐You all right?
‐I'm good.
Man: Cold, ain't it?
That was the warm‐up!
If you don't know Zion,
one thing you're
about to find out,
he can do the biggest rails.
He can do the transition,
literally everything.
There's, like,
a big generation gap.
He's, like, a millennial kid.
‐Fire away!
‐Especially on this trip,
a bit more weight
might get put on him
because he's,
you know, younger.
He's a bit more agile.
That's how you skateboard!
‐Chima!
‐Yeah.
Chima is just a beast.
♪♪
Like, you look
at his footage.
You'll be like, "Yeah,
I want the guy in the van."
I'm excited.
I'm, like...
I've been nervous, like,
every kind of emotion about it.
I think, halfway through,
he's going to be like,
"What the...did
I sign up for?"
Burnett: Next up, Robbie Brockel
from Phoenix, Arizona.
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
He's been on "King of
the Road" in the past.
Oh!
He's hilarious, so it's very
good for, like, team morale.
I'm just going to throw
on this wig for no reason.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I think Robbie
will be the one
to do the weird,
miscellaneous challenges.
And that's probably
important because
I don't think Jack Olson is
doing any of this weird stuff.
‐I'm ready.
‐He is the rail technician.
He can do all the latest
flip‐in, flip‐out moves.
♪♪
Olson: It's funny.
My mom saw, like, one episode
of "King of the Road."
She was just like,
"I hope this is never
something Jack has to do
because shit can get weird."
[ Chuckles ]
Ooh‐hoo‐hoo‐hoo.
Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...
[ Cheering ]
Longest pole jam.
[ Cheering ]
Oh, my...God!
♪♪
Teams, all right!
Everybody, come over here!
Come here.
All you guys, are you ready
for "King of the Road"?
[ Cheering ]
The ultimate
skateboard road trip
starts today.
[ Cheering ]
You're going to be
competing for $50,000...
[ Cheering ]
...the trophy...
and the most
prestigious real estate
in all of skateboarding,
the cover of Thrasher Magazine.
[ Cheering ]
Fire it up!
And the first challenge,
check it out!
Whoo!
Man: Holy shit.
It's longest pole jam!
That shit looks sick!
We're going to start adding
to the stinger 1 foot at a time.
What the...
Whoever does the longest jam,
50...points.
This is untested in the wild.
Yeah.
There's a slight concern
that people are going to
go to shoot straight up
and then impale
themselves on it.
We'll see how it goes.
...get it!
Get it!
‐Oh!
‐Oh, shit!
Nyjah!
‐Putt, putt!
‐Woo!
Come on!
Yeah!
Putt, putt!
[ Cheering ]
What you got?
What you got? What you got?
♪♪
Wow!
Goddamn, Evan,
what the...
♪♪
Get it!
Get it! Get it! Yo!
Dude, it's just a splat.
You go so high.
‐Yo.
‐All right.
5 feet.
Oh, my.
Whoa.
Roy: It's taller than me.
Like, taller than...
...
♪♪
...yeah, Aidan!
Whoo!
‐Whoa!
‐Yes!
He's, like,
12 feet in the air.
♪♪
‐There you go.
‐...yes!
That was sick, homey.
Mm!
Yo! Yeah!
[ Cheering ]
‐Whoa!
‐6 feet.
Roy: Rattlesnake popping a
boner.
Burnett: 6 feet.
‐Look at that shit!
‐Oh, my...
Man: I'm...scared
of this shit, man.
That's pretty high.
Get that shit, Z!
Roy: Get that shit!
Woo! You got this! Come on!
Bring it on! Bring it on! Woo!
Dude, my heart is,
like...
You don't want
to...with it?
You're good?
That was scary.
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
‐Don't kill my Aidan, dude.
‐Holy shit, that was scary.
‐Woo!
‐Oh!
Heavy.
There's a very good chance
that the Rattlesnake is
a little bit too steep.
Come on. We got one more, huh?
No one? No one?
‐No one!
‐...that.
‐...that.
‐...that.
Everyone is tapping out.
Phelps: Evan's in!
Evan...get it!
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
God, he did it first try.
Dude, you're insane.
King of Rattlesnake Mountain,
50...points,
Evan Smith...handled it,
straight‐up winner.
‐That's our guy.
‐...
‐That was...up.
‐All right.
Let's get all the teams
right here, please!
Check it out!
This is challenge number two!
It's going to be the
Biggest Little Reno Relay!
[ Chuckling ]
Yeah.
This is going
to take your entire team.
...shit.
To start it off, we're going to
have one guy from each team
skating as fast as they can
following the arrows
through the park.
Roy: Jesus Christ.
And then you must run the route.
Follow the arrows on your feet.
Sinclair:
Aidan Campbell is going
to take off running.
He's super quick.
He's an athlete.
I'm already tired.
Nyjah is the athlete.
I don't really run
very often but...
But when I do,
I win every time.
Burnett:
And then we need two guys,
the smartest, most clever
members of your team.
‐Thinker.
‐That's what we need.
We're going to have a 60‐piece
Andy Roy jigsaw puzzle.
‐Just a puzzle.
‐It's a puzzle.
‐Okay. All right.
‐I'm going to do the puzzle.
You're the genius?
These guys are puzzle experts.
They know
what the...they're doing.
This guy is the
Rain Man of puzzles.
And finally you need the guy
who does not give a...
Man: Oh, here we go.
First person to
pee their pants...
‐Holy...
‐...on the Andy Roy target...
...wins.
Roy: Pee‐pee time!
Don't get the dude
that gets stage fright!
I've been holding my piss
all morning.
Start...drinking.
Sinclair:
Glick, he's sucking water.
He's getting ready.
I'm feeling good
about this one.
You guys got this?
You guys fired up?
I'm...fired up!
[ Andy screams ]
Roy: On your mark!
Get set!
‐Yeah, baby!
‐Go!
...get it!
‐Fire that shit the...up!
‐Go!
Man: Oh, my God.
Apse: ...
Mason fell. No!
Yeah, Z,
keep it going!
‐Mason is in the rear.
‐Get them, Mason!
Man: Nyjah, get ready!
‐Yeah!
‐Here comes the runners!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
[ Overlapping dialogue ]
‐Come on, Nyjah!
‐Look at Nyjah running.
Roy: Ah, look at Chima like he's
running from the...cops!
‐Go, Chima!
‐Ah! Go, Chima!
‐The...
‐There's Aidan in the back.
Man: Come on, Aidan!
Sinclair:
Holy shit! We're losing steam!
He's catching up!
Nyjah!
[ Slowed down ] Nyjah!
Woo‐hoo‐hoo!
♪♪
Oh, my legs. Oh.
Hurry up, Aidan!...
Puzzle time.
[ Coughing, hocking ]
...
Roy: Let's get it!
Hey, yeah, work on
the corners after this one.
That's right here. Or wait.
This isn't even
a...corner.
Man: Andy‐handy.
Come on, Andy's face.
The puzzle is key.
The puzzle is...key.
Puzzle is key.
Looks pretty tough, man.
Third grade was hard.
That's why
I tried three times.
Dude, are you
...shitting me?
Grab that piece.
Stick it right there.
Don't touch it.
No touching!
When you find Andy's teeth,
tell him. All right?
[ Laughter ]
Burnett: Foundation got a face.
Man: Yeah. Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go.
Get ready, Bull!
Ooh, looks like
the Foundation crew.
Foundation! Foundation!
Foundation!
Clank, clank, clank.
Piss on Andy's face.
Piss on his face.
Piss on his...face.
‐Stage fright?
‐Come on. Drink.
‐Come on, Corey Wilson!
‐...
He's got stage fright!
No way!
He's got
...stage fright!
We got it! We got it!
You got it!
Glick, you've got it.
Don't even listen to him.
You're not going
to be able to pee.
You got this. You pee in your
pants all the time.
Can't do it!
Sinclair:
Hey, hurry! They're coming in.
Don't...this up.
Don't...it up.
Oh, here we go.
Ah...
Ah, there we go,
golden showers!
There's still second!
You can still get second!
Man: Glick can't pee!
Let's get this! Glick can't pee!
Let's go get second! Come on!
‐He said he had to pee.
‐Where'd it go? Oh!
Zion: Let's get it!
Let's get it!
Glick can't pee!
Glick can't pee!
‐Robbie!
‐Yes! Glick can't pee!
‐Hey!
‐Oh! Yeah!
There's a lot.
Goddamn it.
♪ I always feel so empty ♪
Yes!
What a ‐‐
what a battle.
♪ I always feel so empty♪
Sinclair: Glick, what happened?
I couldn't pee.
And you still don't
have to after all that?
We lost because
of Glick's dick.
That's...pitiful.
♪ I always feel so empty ♪
We beat everyone by 2 minutes,
and then Corey couldn't pee.
...up, man.
♪ Whenever you pack to leave ♪
I'm so mad right now.
I can't even stare
him in the eyes.
Goddamn it.
♪ Ooh, bop ♪
Roy: Next on
"King of the Road"...
We got the...book!
‐Oh, that's so nasty.
‐It's really gross.
Oh!
Man: I'm about to
have a meltdown!
Ah!
♪♪
We swept it.
Element swept it.
Hell yeah, boys!
Good work out there.
The end of the first meet‐up
here at Rattlesnake Mountain,
we saw Element crush it.
They got 50 points for
the world's longest pole jam,
which Evan Smith did over
6 feet, and then finally...
Roy: Golden showers!
...they aced the relay...
Yes!
...which makes 200 points
straight out of the gate
for Element.
Everybody is doing good,
but it's hard to ignore
Element when you're trying
to compare the teams.
All right. We're going to need
the team managers out here.
Burnett:
Now is the time to finally
hand out the books.
This book is filled with tricks
and other challenges,
and this basically
guides their road trip.
We got the...book!
Opening the...Thrasher...
‐The bible.
‐...2017
"King of the Road" bible!
Oh.
‐Feels like Christmas.
‐There it is.
"Thanks for participating
in Thrasher Magazine's
'King of the Road.'"
I don't give a shit
about the rules.
"Straight nollie over
the biggest bag in the van,"
which is your bag.
[ Laughter ]
[Indistinct] Stalefish five.
Zion's done those.
Every year, I put
the craziest stuff
I can think of in the book.
Eat a piece of the van
at least as big as a quarter.
What the...
And every year, they far
exceed my expectations.
He's going to do it
right now.
So then the next year,
what am I supposed to do?
I got to make it gnarly.
Whoa.
Hippy jump over the hood
of a parked car. Wow.
Burnett: But as gross and funny
and weird as this is,
each miscellaneous challenge,
I can tell you a real story
that this is based on.
"Drink your own pee
straight from the source,
an Australian tradition."
[ Laughter ]
What?
You got to eat
your friend's toenail.
‐No, not cool.
‐No way, man.
You don't have
to do any of it.
Cole, you got a toenail
we can clip off?
Burnett: But for people
who are willing to step
out of their comfort zone...
Oh, that's so nasty.
...they're going
to earn points on it.
Man:
Do we have to skate naked?
Oh, yeah. There's got
to be a naked one.
‐Will they skate naked?
‐What the...
Will they drink pee
straight from the source?
‐Yeah!
‐Oh!
Someone has got
to get married.
Will they get married?
Somebody should
marry Nyjah, dude.
[ Laughter ]
Oh...
The answer to all of these
is yes, probably.
...crazy.
You've earned us, like,
500 points so far.
Let's keep it going.
Let's keep it going.
So there he goes.
There's our...100 points
right there going to
waste right...now.
Glick, good one.
150 down the drain.
Never depend on
Glick's dick for anything.
You got it.
♪♪
Ah, almost it, Madars.
On "King of the Road,"
you get the book,
and you just start
chipping away.
‐Yeah. See that?
‐Yeah. That's what I was saying.
Rhino: It's in your brain.
It's in your hand.
You're constantly looking
through it, thinking about it.
Oh, we'll eat shit soon.
So bad.
[ Imitating chewing noises ]
They have to try tricks
that they never even thought
or wanted to do
in their life.
Hands are giving out.
Your hands are on
the end of your board,
so when you go off
the curb and you...
You could cut
your knuckles off.
♪ Just come over ♪
I don't think I'm ready.
I'm about to have a meltdown!
[ Screaming ]
♪ That there is
no one else ♪
Right here.
Get right here.
‐Five more tries.
‐Five more tries.
Apse: All right. I'm coming.
Yeah, Madars!
[ Cheering ]
That was amazing!
That was...legend.
‐Holy shit.
‐Ah!
Rhino: No one likes to admit
that people are competitive,
but "King of the Road,"
it kind of ‐‐ I don't know.
It kind of brings it out
in some people, you know?
♪♪
Brock: That's right!
50 points, that easy.
The other dudes
have gnarly teams.
We all have respect for them,
and I hope they have
some respect for us too,
but, yeah, we got
a killer...team.
We're going to kick the rest
of these dudes' asses.
Walker: Get a little bit
of lubrication.
Get going.
‐Ooh!
‐Yeah!
Man: Hey, get that book
over here, Justin!
We're checking shit off!
‐Yeah!
‐Check.
♪♪
Man: Oh, yeah!
Hell, yeah, Zion.
Yeah, Z.
‐Cab big flip?
‐Yeah.
‐Oh!
‐Oh, you okay?
‐You all good?
‐You good?
Holy shit.
The timing is super hard
just to get the balance right.
It's like a dance.
Swazy would love this trick.
In and out.
♪♪
Man: Oh, yeah!
Perfect execution,
nuts to nuts.
Check!
[ Horn honking ]
Campbell: Dude, there's
a fly in here.
‐Where is he at?
‐Roll your window up.
We go to catch
a fly and eat it.
‐Get him.
‐It's right there.
‐Really?
‐Yeah, right there.
Oh, yeah.
It's right there.
[ Laughter ]
‐Oh...
‐Where is it?
‐Goddamn it, dude.
‐He knows.
Got him.
Merlino:
I mean, there's really no
strategy to "King of the Road."
‐Eat it.
‐I'm not eating that mother...
Just everything we can do,
we just try to get
points, you know?
You caught it.
You got to eat it.
Man, these mother...land
on shit every goddamn day.
Eat it and stop
looking at it.
But, I mean, who the...
wants to eat a...fly?
‐Why did I...do this?
‐Oh, yeah. You got it, Nick.
Yeah!
[ Laughter ]
Do you want to do that?
[ Chuckles ]
I don't want to.
Ugh!
Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...
‐I'm going in hard.
‐Hey, hey, hey, watch out!
Man: Oh, you got caught.
Walker: People get pretty
sheisty out there.
But we might have
some tricks up our sleeve.
Oh, got his ass!
♪♪
Burn‐Dog said sending
city challenges in 5 minutes.
Oh, city, so we have
city challenges here.
‐Yeah.
‐Okay.
As these teams go
from city to city,
they have unique challenges
special to that town.
All right. We got
our city challenges.
‐Where we going, Mike?
‐What they don't realize yet
is that they're all
going to the same spot.
Mathews:
First one is, get double caveman
tricks on the dog‐park rail.
Best doubles variations
gets a extra 50 points.
Oh, so that one must be
all the teams are doing it.
Yeah, yeah. We got to go
to this...handrail.
‐Let's go jam it up.
‐Let's go jam it up, boys!
♪♪
Here's our...
caveman rail.
Damn, that thing is...
‐Dude, this is gnarly.
‐Thing is pretty bucked.
I would rather just do normal
tricks on it, you know?
It's not part
of the deal.
♪♪
Oh, so scary.
Where is it at?
‐Oh, they're here.
‐Who we got?
Man: Just Element dudes.
Hey, watch out!
Mason!
‐Should we get out?
‐I'm scared.
Well, we should find
out if there's...
I think ‐‐ I think
they're scared of us.
They think that we're
about to do something.
Burnett: In general, the teams
want to avoid each other.
Do y'all got to
...with us?
Think you're going
to...with us.
There's lots of paranoia...
‐We're here for the rail.
‐All right.
Brock: Tyson is just acting like
a...creep over there.
Burnett: ...because there's
opportunities to earn points
by sabotaging the other teams.
How many points you got?
I have nothing.
Oh, got his ass!
Oh, you guys got me
so good, dude.
Got to have eyes in the back
of your head on this shit.
Sinclair: Let me know if you
guys see the rail.
‐Oh, they're down there.
‐Hey, get the pigs' feet.
Oh, get the pig feet.
Get the goddamn pig feet.
Man: I got to drink
[Indistinct].
Going in.
‐Oh, God. What the...
‐...is that?
[ Laughter ]
Someone is going
to be bummed.
Man: I'm going in.
I'm going in hard, too.
♪♪
[ Tires screech ]
Man: Hey, hey, hey, watch out!
Look out! Look out!
Look out! Look out!
‐Oh!
‐Oh, he got caught!
[ Slow‐down screaming ]
Oh!
Man: Mike, get out of here.
Mike, what are you doing?
I'm in the ‐‐ I'm in
the wrong...way of ‐‐
of a bridge, mother...
What are you talking about?
Dude, you got chunks
of it on your back.
People get pretty
sheisty out there.
Get that.
♪♪
Ohh!
Are you... ‐‐
[ Screams ]
Ah! All right.
Let me put that in the...
‐Are we done?
‐Think so.
‐Yes!
‐Done the best doubles first.
‐Yeah, yeah.
‐It's just the best...
It's just the best, so we're
going to do a better one.
Man: All right. Let's get it.
♪♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
[ Cheering ]
♪ Oh, no ♪
All right. Let's go.
‐Let's get out of here.
‐Watch the flooring.
Yeah, yeah.
‐Yeah, Glick.
‐Right here, dude.
♪♪
‐Yeah! Yes!
‐...yeah.
...yeah, dude.
[ Laughter ]
Man: He...handled that.
The challenge was the gnarliest
caveman doubles on the rail.
No one is going backwards
down that thing.
Corey went backwards, so I think
we got a good chance, for sure.
Man #2:
Easily the gnarliest doubles.
‐Hey, Evan.
‐Hey, don't
let him get too close.
That's the enemy.
♪♪
Yeah!
That was... [indistinct]
You didn't hook me up?
I didn't even see
you going down.
All right. These guys know
we're not...playing now.
Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...
We're going to have to have
a social‐media discussion.
You're not supposed
to film stories.
Please. What?
Yeah, because of you.
I mean, look at it.
Those dudes are in there.
What the...are
they sending us to?
It's in the middle
of...nowhere.
Burnett:
City challenges are all about
checking out
the local skate scene,
so we're sending each team
to a famous Reno skate spot
where they've got
to do four tricks.
I have no idea
where we are.
Looks like a fun skate spot,
that's for sure.
♪♪
Man: Oh, yeah!
Mathews:
We're going to have to have
a social‐media discussion.
You're not supposed
to film stories either.
‐Really?
‐Yes.
I'm not going to film Evan
trying to do tricks.
I'll film someone
tail‐sliding it.
Cole Matthews,
longtime Element team manager,
his secret skill is,
he's one of the only people that
Nyjah will actually listen to.
There's a strategy to
"King of the Road,"
and basically, you don't
want anyone to know
what you're doing
or where you're at
because they'll
sabotage your shit.
Ugh.
Cole is actually
like Nyjah's big brother.
‐What?
‐Yeah, but everyone
knows we're here.
Yeah, because of you.
[ Laughs ]
Like, they just act
like 12‐year‐olds
to each other, just bickering.
I'll be cautious
of my story posts.
Please.
‐There's love there.
‐Always hating on me.
♪♪
We got a fire going.
The team managers keep
the enthusiasm high...
‐I've never cooked a s'more.
‐Really?
You're about to be
...stoked.
...and keep these guys
on track.
Let's go.
♪ Don't want to think
about you again ♪
Brock: That's one, two.
Yeah.
♪ Don't want to dream
about you again ♪
♪ I know I'm going to cry
about you again ♪
Man: Woo! That's a make.
I think these guys are going
to knock this one out quick.
The last time I was on "King of
the Road" was with Toy Machine.
We got dead last, so my strategy
this year ‐‐
Let the dudes run it.
I don't know what the...
I'm doing at this point.
Oh, my!
Oh! Oh!
Walter, you...
S'mores!
What's the technique
here, Justin?
Just put it on a stick
and burn the shit out of it.
Man: Yeah!
That's it.
That's it. Check.
S'mores, s'mores. Chima.
First s'more ever.
It's good.
‐Do you love s'mores?
‐I do not love s'mores.
This kid, worst childhood.
‐[ Speaking indistinctly ]
‐Get out of here.
♪ I don't want to think
about you again ♪
Two more to go!
♪ I don't want to dream
about you again ♪
[ Cheering ]
♪ I know I'm going
to cry about you again ♪
[ Cheering ]
Hey, we good.
That was quick.
Good job, fellas, good job.
♪ Again, yeah! ♪
[ Cheering ]
Easy.
♪ I don't want to
I don't want to ♪
♪ I don't want
to think about you again ♪
That was amazing, dude.
That was...
‐Get some action.
‐...yeah.
‐Kiki back tail.
‐Good job, boys.
‐Fired up.
‐Bring it up.
Man: Kyle, you feel like taking
some impact on your legs
and rolling off that roof?
Walker: Hey, get me up there.
Ferguson:
Oh, it actually looks way
higher now that he's up there.
Walker: This is hectic.
It's pretty...gnarly.
All right.
...it, right here.
‐Don't do it.
‐About to fly off the roof.
Man: King of the wall.
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
[ Cheering intensifies ]
Man: Mother...
That was scary as...
It's like, the more I stand up
here and just look down...
‐Yeah.
‐...really over it.
The s'more you stayed up there.
The s'more I stayed up there.
[ Chuckles ]
Mm.
♪♪
Perfect flat ground,
all the run‐up, this is perfect.
This is perfect
for flat ground.
♪♪
♪ Too slow ♪
That easy.
♪ Too slow, too slow
too slow, too slow ♪
Oh, my God!
Yes!
While standing still, ollie a
teammate who's rolling at you.
‐Ooh. All right.
‐This is so sketchy.
♪♪
♪ Too slow ♪
Oh!
He just ollied
a flying meatball.
♪ Too slow, too slow,
too slow, too slow ♪
‐Cole.
‐Check!
♪ Too slow, too slow,
too slow, too slow ♪
Yes!
Merlino: Don't...hit me.
If you...up, my face is dead.
Glick is trying
to redeem his dick,
and he's going to try
to kickflip Merlino
from toes to head right here.
♪ A little silver cross
held tight in the light ♪
‐Wow!
‐Yeah, boy.
He did it easy, make sure
we had an advantage finally,
so we're getting some points.
We're doing all right.
I had faith in you
the whole time.
Man: Nice.
Man #2: Hey, there's a wedding
chapel right there.
Where?
‐Aw.
‐There's a what?
There's a wedding chapel
right there, Mike.
‐Let's get married!
‐Mike, there's a wedding chapel.
We're going to get
married right now?
There's a...
wedding chapel right there.
‐Hey, you want to get married?
‐I'm down.
Wilson: Yeah? Me and Aidan
are down.
You guys are going
to get married?
Yeah, and then we just
get it annulled in 48 hours.
Let's go.
And you can just walk
in there and do it?
‐You should call and make sure.
‐I'm getting the reservation.
‐You're getting a rezzy?
‐Can we get a limo?
Muller:
It's your wedding day, man.
Come on.
‐I got to get hammered tonight.
‐You're getting married today.
You're getting
married today, dude.
I'm really...nervous.
Hi, Sarah.
I was wondering, um,
if you have any
openings tonight.
‐We have a 9:00 o'clock.
‐9:00 o'clock?
All right. My name
is Cole Wilson,
and I'm arriving
at 9:00 o'clock.
Sarah: All right.
We'll see you then.
‐Bye, bye.
‐I think it's fine, dude.
We're getting married
at 9:00 o'clock, fellas.
I can't wait.
‐That's so cool.
‐Holy shit.
I hope I don't
get cold feet.
Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...
I've always wanted to get
married, why not to a bro?
Is there a bathroom?
I'm really nervous.
‐Where's Aidan?
‐I'm right here.
Campbell: Oh,
I'm not trying to run away.
[ Laughter ]
Sinclair:
I did not know I was going to be
going to a wedding today,
but I'm stoked.
Wilson: Should we hold hands?
So this is it.
Reno is famous for
a lot of things,
one of which is quick marriages
and even quicker divorces,
so this year, we had to
throw get married
into the miscellaneous
challenges.
Is there ‐‐ is there a bathroom?
I'm really nervous.
‐How's my hair, Sam?
‐It's great.
Okay.
Man: Everything is going
to be perfect.
♪♪
Let's go. Come on, Walter.
Come on, Walter. Let's go.
Let's go, Walter.
Come on. Sit.
Sit down.
Woman: Please rise.
♪♪
Officiant: You two loving hearts
have come here
to become partners for life.
I, Aidan...
I, Aidan...
...take you, Cole...
...take you, Cole...
...to be my partner
for life...
...to be my partner
for life...
...my one true love...
...my one true love...
...and love you today...
...and love you today...
...tomorrow and forever...
...tomorrow and forever...
I, Cole...
I, Cole...
...take you, Aidan...
...take you, Aidan...
to be my partner for life...
...to be my partner
for life...
...my one, true love...
...my one, true love...
I will trust you and honor you.
I will trust you and honor you.
I will laugh with you
and cry with you.
I will laugh with you
and cry with you.
I will love you faithfully...
I will love you faithfully...
...through the best
and the worst.
...through the best
and the worst.
I will always be there.
I will always be there.
And, Aidan,
do you have a ring?
I do.
♪ You can always have hope ♪
♪ that I will be waiting
through miles ♪
And Cole.
You guys are killing
it up there.
♪ To come and to go ♪
♪ Evermore ♪
♪ You can take every word ♪
♪ That's ever been spoken ♪
♪ As proof that
we'll never be broken ♪
May their families
and friends bless
this union with
tranquility and harmony,
and may they walk
forever in sunshine.
♪ We've made it somehow ♪
You may kiss your partner.
♪ To evermore ♪
‐Congratulations.
‐Yeah!
♪ So if it's all right
with you I'll be along ♪
♪ Together through everything ♪
♪ We will be strong ♪
♪ We build our own lifetime ♪
That was kind
of intense, man.
‐I almost started crying.
‐Let's play music now.
How do I feel?
Like a changed man.
Just I don't know, man.
Words can't explain it.
It was.
It got a little heavier than
I thought, yeah, for sure.
Staring in Cole's eyes,
those beautiful brown eyes.
I'm full of happiness.
‐True love.
‐Kiss him.
Check, Cole and Aidan,
happy forever.
[ Laughs ]
Sinclair: Big day today.
Started off losers, ended up,
uh, ended up winners, I think.
...Attended a beautiful
wedding, two of my best friends.
You know, that's one
for the record books.
♪ I should have told you ♪
♪ Every single day ♪
♪ That I love you ♪
I love you, man.
♪ I get to hold you ♪
We...did it.
...did it!
♪♪
♪ I'll always be there ♪
Check!
On the next
"King of the Road"...
‐All hail Cardi L.
‐...yes, dude!
Roy: Come on, Aidan!
Oh! Whoa!
Meet up with the infamous EMB OG
Mike Carroll and Chico Brenes.
[ Cheering ]
I think Merlino may have
cost us about 1,000 points.
♪♪
‐Oh...
‐This is amazing.
Check!
Sinclair: Have you guys thought
about prenups?
‐Prenups?
‐I don't even know
what that is.
Campbell: I trust him.
---
Please do not attempt to perform
any of these stunts
or activities in this show.
They are super dangerous.
Crazy, wild, dangerous.
The stunts seen are either
performed by professionals
or under the supervision
of professionals.
Serious professionals.
This show also contains
bad language.
♪♪
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
Let's get fired up!
Come on!
Oh, my God.
The rail is on fire.
That's so sketchy.
‐Oh, my God.
‐Hell riding.
Man: [ Gasps ]
‐Oh!
‐Oh!
Man #2: You're on fire!
[ Cheering ]
"King of the Road,"
does anybody do it better?
No, they...don't.
♪ Raw oysters, Texas Pete ♪
Ohh! Go home!
♪ Sea urchin on the reef ♪
You're evil!
♪ Sour cheeseburger bit to eat ♪
Roy: Three teams of top skaters
battling it out to accomplish
amazing stunts and challenges.
♪ Lick butter goes with keef ♪
You did it!
♪ Into the cocoa leaf ♪
This year, we have Element...
‐Oh!
‐...Real...
♪ Fresh maggots on my teeth,
they're cheap ♪
‐Ohh!
‐And Foundation!
We're...
♪ Oh, baby ♪
[ Whistling ]
They go from city to city...
Let's go get
...hectic.
...for 13 days...
[ Cheering ]
...documenting every
crazy trick...
Ohh, my God!
...and bone‐crushing slam.
You hit your nards?
It's time to
go skateboarding.
[ Whistling continues ]
Everybody needs to
be here.
♪♪
King of the Road miracle.
‐Whoo!
‐When the dust settles...
I love you guys.
...the team who's done
the gnarliest stunts...
What the?!
...is gonna be crowned
King of the...Road!
[ Cheering ]
I did not sign up
for this.
♪♪
"King of the Road" season three.
We're here in beautiful
Reno, Nevada...
[ Truck honks ]
...and it's...cold.
After last year, we realized
the sky is the limit.
These might be
the hardest tricks
and the wildest challenges
we've ever put in the book.
Of course, it wouldn't be
"King of the Road"
without Thrasher editor
in chief Jake Phelps
here to give it
to them straight...
I'll see you on
the highway to hell.
Woo, yes! Yeah!
Burnett: ...and Andy Roy
from Antihero Skateboards
to get the guys hyped.
Fire this shit up!
Ladies and gentlemen, we bring
you Rattlesnake Mountain.
Roy: Da, da, da, da!
We built the, uh,
rattlesnake obstacle.
Oh!
Oh, yeah!
I don't know.
This thing may not work.
That thing
...throws you.
Hot damn.
"King of the Road"
is born of chaos,
and it's always going to be
a little disorganized,
and Jake and Andy definitely
add to that flavor.
I'm so, so ‐‐
You hit me
in the eye with a rock.
Oh, I'm so sorry, Jake.
It's all fun and games
until someone loses an eye.
[ Laughs ]
We've got three amazing teams,
all raring to go.
Today is the day.
Off to the first challenge!
[ Laughs ]
This is normal.
This is a normal thing
that's happening right now.
‐Straight off to the rainbow.
‐It happened.
Element is one of the biggest
brands in skateboarding,
as close as we can
get to a super team.
♪♪
They've got the contest champ,
freaky weirdos,
hippies, athletes,
foreign dudes.
Are my socks
all right today?
This is a stacked squad.
Oh!
First up on Element,
Evan Smith.
I don't even know
what Evan can't do.
Yeah!
He's gifted.
Like, he's kind of magical.
[ Cheering ]
He's also the weird one.
[ Laughs ]
I feel like, Jared, would you
hold my hand under the ground
just so I can lead
you to the roots?
What?
What?
Wait.
What?
Element, got invited on in 2014,
and I got brought up into
the interdimensional chaos.
[ Cheering ]
And we said we're never
going to do it again.
Right now, we got
Nyjah Huston pissing,
and I'm going to take a swig.
No way!
[ Coughing ]
Burnett:
He's so fired up, he's making up
challenges for himself
before this thing even starts.
It's hot.
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
Typical Evan, doing challenges
for no reason.
Burnett: Next up, Nyjah Huston.
He is the contest champ.
This guy is one of
the most famous skateboarders
in the world.
♪♪
He's so big‐time
that he hasn't really spent
that much time with the Element
team in the last few years,
but if he goes full blast,
they're going to be
almost unbeatable.
I've been on Element
since I've been 7 years old.
I can never picture myself
riding for anyone else.
I've done one
"King of the Road."
When he told me,
I was like, "...again?
I'm not shitting in no van."
But bottom line, I mean,
I want to be out there helping
out for the team, you know?
Ah!
‐Andy, man.
‐Mason.
All right.
Mason, you ready for this?
Yep. All right.
Mason, he's a powerhouse.
When you're on a skate trip,
you want everyone to feel like
they're a living organism
all together at one.
Mason will take the time to make
sure that everyone is connected.
Mason, he has one
of the worst tempers.
[ Chuckles ]
Ugh...
You're going to get a lot
of good freak‐outs from him.
Ugh!
Silva:
Winning "King of the Road"
would be pretty special.
Now with all of the trips that
I've been on with these guys,
this is an experience.
This is something
you'll remember
for the rest of your life.
Burnett: Next up, Madars Apse...
Hey.
...the Latvian superhero.
The things that he loves
about skateboarding
he's attracted to are
so not all that normal.
His head is in
a different place.
[ Chuckles ]
I've seen him do tricks
that I never thought
were even possible.
He's firecrackered a 22‐step.
He can speak, like,
four or five languages.
I need some smarts out here
on "King of the Road."
It's good to do what you love,
and if Tyson loves to roll
joints, let him do it, you know?
Nope, third.
I smoked one this morning
before the van
and when we got to the van,
and then now that
we're at the park, third.
Tyson, he's new to the team.
He's the am on the trip.
♪♪
We brought him out on our
Am Scramble trip this year
even though people
didn't really know who he was.
[ Cheering ]
And he won over everybody.
You're...dude.
‐Woo‐hoo!
‐Right?
He's the sweetest kid on Earth,
and he's super sensitive.
Smith: He's in this, like,
youthful, naive state.
This is going to break him.
"King of the Road"
is going to break him.
When it comes to this,
I'm just going to have fun
and hang out with my friends.
[ Chuckles ]
Look at Tyson.
He's so high, he thinks his
skateboard is a gun right now.
[ Laughter ]
Burnett: Next team,
Foundation Skateboards...
Oh, shit.
...led by Mike
"Big Pink" Sinclair.
‐Let me get some.
‐Yeah.
You might remember Mike from
season one with Toy Machine.
[ Yelling, laughter ]
The worst...
team manager ever.
Billy got divorced during
"King of the Road."
Turns out Foundation
is their sister company
that Mike also runs.
Mike took a chance on some guys
that maybe were overlooked
by some of the bigger brands.
These guys aren't doing it
for a big paycheck.
They're doing it because
they're best friends,
and they just love
skateboarding.
What's up, Nick?
All right. Right!
They're definitely
the underdogs.
What is this for?
Shut up!
It's a washing machine.
It's a washing machine?
Nick Merlino is so good,
he got tried out
by all the biggest brands,
but his personality
is so crazy...
Whoa...hate you!
...Mike Sinclair was the only
one who could deal with him.
If I could legally kill someone,
I'd kill Merlino.
Nick is the only person
in the many years
that I've worked
in skateboarding
that I've almost fought.
Oh, dude!
But he's honestly
one of the best skateboarders
I've ever seen in person.
He has the biggest heart,
and he means well. He just...
He's like that...up
brother you got,
but you ‐‐ you love him.
Merlino: There's a lot of
money on the line.
It's going to be cutthroat.
...the other teams.
We're going to...
win this shit, you know?
‐Hey, Cole.
‐Yeah!
Burnett: Cole Wilson, the rookie
from Louisville, Kentucky.
As far as skating goes,
he's literally the
gnarliest dude I know.
Yeah, first time
"King of the Road,"
super psyched
with my best friends.
There is no plan.
We're just winging it.
I'm not a contest
skater at all.
But I'll do
this contest every year.
This year, the competition is
pretty, like, gnarly.
Sketch.
But we got Aidan Campbell,
so it shouldn't be a problem.
Can I even
still skate, dude?
‐Still got it.
‐I got it.
Still got it.
Burnett: Next up,
Aidan Campbell.
It turns out Aidan's very first
board was a Foundation,
and this year,
after he kind of blew up,
he got a lot of big offers
for more money
and decided to stick
with Foundation.
Think that says a lot.
Campbell:
It's a childhood dream really.
We were little kids,
and we'd make up our own
"King of the Road" trip
in eighth grade, you know?
Like, and now being on
"King of the Road," it's crazy.
‐Can I get a cerveza?
‐Yeah.
Servold:
I'm basically the beer man,
keep the team hydrated
with cold beer.
Here's a nice, cold one.
♪♪
Luong: I look at Dakota
as kind of team captain.
He was the first one
to get on Foundation
where I thought, "Whoa,
Foundation is doing it again."
He's a team leader, but...
We're going to get drunk,
drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk,
drunk, drunk, drunk,
drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk.
...sometimes that might mean
leading the guys to the bar.
♪♪
Next up, Corey Glick.
Sinclair:
Corey Glick is the newest
edition to the Foundation squad.
He's good at everything, man.
He can skate stairs,
gaps, rails.
Burnett: He's coming out
of his shell a little bit
as you'll notice from
the stylish John Oates mustache.
[ Laughs ]
That would be...awesome
to be on the cover.
I've always wanted one.
That's, like, one of
the coolest things
you can do in skateboarding
right there.
Sinclair:
I handpicked these guys
to be on this team,
and I want them to show
the world how cool they are
and how...good
they are because that's it.
We don't have a strategy.
We didn't come
with some secret shit.
We're just here, and we're
going to do our best.
We do have a secret weapon.
We got Walter.
Peterson: His walk is so nice.
See you, Walter.
Man: Walter, what are you
doing over there?
‐You're on our team, bud.
‐Ain't going with...
See what knuckleheads
we got coming, huh?
Burnett: And last but not least,
Real Skateboards.
Real is a legacy team, one of
the most respected in the biz,
super hard to get on,
even harder to turn pro.
♪♪
This is an all‐killer,
no‐filler skate team.
Ooh, this place is sick.
Burnett: First up on Real,
we've got Kyle Walker.
Brock: Kyle, he's all around
the best dude.
I'm...super excited
to see what he's going to do.
His ender in this last part
is the most...up
kinked rail ever.
♪ Big wins
Big wins ♪
♪ Big wins
Big wins ♪
♪ Big wins
Yes! ♪
[ Cheering ]
Olson: He just killed it
all year last year,
got Skater of the Year.
Yeah!
So this year, I think he's
just as fired up to skate,
and he'll be killing it
for the team.
Squad is good. Squad is healthy.
We got young Zion.
Yeah. We're going to turn it up
and have some fun.
♪ Big wins ♪
Oh, shit.
Zion just got smoked.
Ugh.
‐You all right?
‐I'm good.
Man: Cold, ain't it?
That was the warm‐up!
If you don't know Zion,
one thing you're
about to find out,
he can do the biggest rails.
He can do the transition,
literally everything.
There's, like,
a big generation gap.
He's, like, a millennial kid.
‐Fire away!
‐Especially on this trip,
a bit more weight
might get put on him
because he's,
you know, younger.
He's a bit more agile.
That's how you skateboard!
‐Chima!
‐Yeah.
Chima is just a beast.
♪♪
Like, you look
at his footage.
You'll be like, "Yeah,
I want the guy in the van."
I'm excited.
I'm, like...
I've been nervous, like,
every kind of emotion about it.
I think, halfway through,
he's going to be like,
"What the...did
I sign up for?"
Burnett: Next up, Robbie Brockel
from Phoenix, Arizona.
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
He's been on "King of
the Road" in the past.
Oh!
He's hilarious, so it's very
good for, like, team morale.
I'm just going to throw
on this wig for no reason.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I think Robbie
will be the one
to do the weird,
miscellaneous challenges.
And that's probably
important because
I don't think Jack Olson is
doing any of this weird stuff.
‐I'm ready.
‐He is the rail technician.
He can do all the latest
flip‐in, flip‐out moves.
♪♪
Olson: It's funny.
My mom saw, like, one episode
of "King of the Road."
She was just like,
"I hope this is never
something Jack has to do
because shit can get weird."
[ Chuckles ]
Ooh‐hoo‐hoo‐hoo.
Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...
[ Cheering ]
Longest pole jam.
[ Cheering ]
Oh, my...God!
♪♪
Teams, all right!
Everybody, come over here!
Come here.
All you guys, are you ready
for "King of the Road"?
[ Cheering ]
The ultimate
skateboard road trip
starts today.
[ Cheering ]
You're going to be
competing for $50,000...
[ Cheering ]
...the trophy...
and the most
prestigious real estate
in all of skateboarding,
the cover of Thrasher Magazine.
[ Cheering ]
Fire it up!
And the first challenge,
check it out!
Whoo!
Man: Holy shit.
It's longest pole jam!
That shit looks sick!
We're going to start adding
to the stinger 1 foot at a time.
What the...
Whoever does the longest jam,
50...points.
This is untested in the wild.
Yeah.
There's a slight concern
that people are going to
go to shoot straight up
and then impale
themselves on it.
We'll see how it goes.
...get it!
Get it!
‐Oh!
‐Oh, shit!
Nyjah!
‐Putt, putt!
‐Woo!
Come on!
Yeah!
Putt, putt!
[ Cheering ]
What you got?
What you got? What you got?
♪♪
Wow!
Goddamn, Evan,
what the...
♪♪
Get it!
Get it! Get it! Yo!
Dude, it's just a splat.
You go so high.
‐Yo.
‐All right.
5 feet.
Oh, my.
Whoa.
Roy: It's taller than me.
Like, taller than...
...
♪♪
...yeah, Aidan!
Whoo!
‐Whoa!
‐Yes!
He's, like,
12 feet in the air.
♪♪
‐There you go.
‐...yes!
That was sick, homey.
Mm!
Yo! Yeah!
[ Cheering ]
‐Whoa!
‐6 feet.
Roy: Rattlesnake popping a
boner.
Burnett: 6 feet.
‐Look at that shit!
‐Oh, my...
Man: I'm...scared
of this shit, man.
That's pretty high.
Get that shit, Z!
Roy: Get that shit!
Woo! You got this! Come on!
Bring it on! Bring it on! Woo!
Dude, my heart is,
like...
You don't want
to...with it?
You're good?
That was scary.
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
‐Don't kill my Aidan, dude.
‐Holy shit, that was scary.
‐Woo!
‐Oh!
Heavy.
There's a very good chance
that the Rattlesnake is
a little bit too steep.
Come on. We got one more, huh?
No one? No one?
‐No one!
‐...that.
‐...that.
‐...that.
Everyone is tapping out.
Phelps: Evan's in!
Evan...get it!
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
God, he did it first try.
Dude, you're insane.
King of Rattlesnake Mountain,
50...points,
Evan Smith...handled it,
straight‐up winner.
‐That's our guy.
‐...
‐That was...up.
‐All right.
Let's get all the teams
right here, please!
Check it out!
This is challenge number two!
It's going to be the
Biggest Little Reno Relay!
[ Chuckling ]
Yeah.
This is going
to take your entire team.
...shit.
To start it off, we're going to
have one guy from each team
skating as fast as they can
following the arrows
through the park.
Roy: Jesus Christ.
And then you must run the route.
Follow the arrows on your feet.
Sinclair:
Aidan Campbell is going
to take off running.
He's super quick.
He's an athlete.
I'm already tired.
Nyjah is the athlete.
I don't really run
very often but...
But when I do,
I win every time.
Burnett:
And then we need two guys,
the smartest, most clever
members of your team.
‐Thinker.
‐That's what we need.
We're going to have a 60‐piece
Andy Roy jigsaw puzzle.
‐Just a puzzle.
‐It's a puzzle.
‐Okay. All right.
‐I'm going to do the puzzle.
You're the genius?
These guys are puzzle experts.
They know
what the...they're doing.
This guy is the
Rain Man of puzzles.
And finally you need the guy
who does not give a...
Man: Oh, here we go.
First person to
pee their pants...
‐Holy...
‐...on the Andy Roy target...
...wins.
Roy: Pee‐pee time!
Don't get the dude
that gets stage fright!
I've been holding my piss
all morning.
Start...drinking.
Sinclair:
Glick, he's sucking water.
He's getting ready.
I'm feeling good
about this one.
You guys got this?
You guys fired up?
I'm...fired up!
[ Andy screams ]
Roy: On your mark!
Get set!
‐Yeah, baby!
‐Go!
...get it!
‐Fire that shit the...up!
‐Go!
Man: Oh, my God.
Apse: ...
Mason fell. No!
Yeah, Z,
keep it going!
‐Mason is in the rear.
‐Get them, Mason!
Man: Nyjah, get ready!
‐Yeah!
‐Here comes the runners!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
[ Overlapping dialogue ]
‐Come on, Nyjah!
‐Look at Nyjah running.
Roy: Ah, look at Chima like he's
running from the...cops!
‐Go, Chima!
‐Ah! Go, Chima!
‐The...
‐There's Aidan in the back.
Man: Come on, Aidan!
Sinclair:
Holy shit! We're losing steam!
He's catching up!
Nyjah!
[ Slowed down ] Nyjah!
Woo‐hoo‐hoo!
♪♪
Oh, my legs. Oh.
Hurry up, Aidan!...
Puzzle time.
[ Coughing, hocking ]
...
Roy: Let's get it!
Hey, yeah, work on
the corners after this one.
That's right here. Or wait.
This isn't even
a...corner.
Man: Andy‐handy.
Come on, Andy's face.
The puzzle is key.
The puzzle is...key.
Puzzle is key.
Looks pretty tough, man.
Third grade was hard.
That's why
I tried three times.
Dude, are you
...shitting me?
Grab that piece.
Stick it right there.
Don't touch it.
No touching!
When you find Andy's teeth,
tell him. All right?
[ Laughter ]
Burnett: Foundation got a face.
Man: Yeah. Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go.
Get ready, Bull!
Ooh, looks like
the Foundation crew.
Foundation! Foundation!
Foundation!
Clank, clank, clank.
Piss on Andy's face.
Piss on his face.
Piss on his...face.
‐Stage fright?
‐Come on. Drink.
‐Come on, Corey Wilson!
‐...
He's got stage fright!
No way!
He's got
...stage fright!
We got it! We got it!
You got it!
Glick, you've got it.
Don't even listen to him.
You're not going
to be able to pee.
You got this. You pee in your
pants all the time.
Can't do it!
Sinclair:
Hey, hurry! They're coming in.
Don't...this up.
Don't...it up.
Oh, here we go.
Ah...
Ah, there we go,
golden showers!
There's still second!
You can still get second!
Man: Glick can't pee!
Let's get this! Glick can't pee!
Let's go get second! Come on!
‐He said he had to pee.
‐Where'd it go? Oh!
Zion: Let's get it!
Let's get it!
Glick can't pee!
Glick can't pee!
‐Robbie!
‐Yes! Glick can't pee!
‐Hey!
‐Oh! Yeah!
There's a lot.
Goddamn it.
♪ I always feel so empty ♪
Yes!
What a ‐‐
what a battle.
♪ I always feel so empty♪
Sinclair: Glick, what happened?
I couldn't pee.
And you still don't
have to after all that?
We lost because
of Glick's dick.
That's...pitiful.
♪ I always feel so empty ♪
We beat everyone by 2 minutes,
and then Corey couldn't pee.
...up, man.
♪ Whenever you pack to leave ♪
I'm so mad right now.
I can't even stare
him in the eyes.
Goddamn it.
♪ Ooh, bop ♪
Roy: Next on
"King of the Road"...
We got the...book!
‐Oh, that's so nasty.
‐It's really gross.
Oh!
Man: I'm about to
have a meltdown!
Ah!
♪♪
We swept it.
Element swept it.
Hell yeah, boys!
Good work out there.
The end of the first meet‐up
here at Rattlesnake Mountain,
we saw Element crush it.
They got 50 points for
the world's longest pole jam,
which Evan Smith did over
6 feet, and then finally...
Roy: Golden showers!
...they aced the relay...
Yes!
...which makes 200 points
straight out of the gate
for Element.
Everybody is doing good,
but it's hard to ignore
Element when you're trying
to compare the teams.
All right. We're going to need
the team managers out here.
Burnett:
Now is the time to finally
hand out the books.
This book is filled with tricks
and other challenges,
and this basically
guides their road trip.
We got the...book!
Opening the...Thrasher...
‐The bible.
‐...2017
"King of the Road" bible!
Oh.
‐Feels like Christmas.
‐There it is.
"Thanks for participating
in Thrasher Magazine's
'King of the Road.'"
I don't give a shit
about the rules.
"Straight nollie over
the biggest bag in the van,"
which is your bag.
[ Laughter ]
[Indistinct] Stalefish five.
Zion's done those.
Every year, I put
the craziest stuff
I can think of in the book.
Eat a piece of the van
at least as big as a quarter.
What the...
And every year, they far
exceed my expectations.
He's going to do it
right now.
So then the next year,
what am I supposed to do?
I got to make it gnarly.
Whoa.
Hippy jump over the hood
of a parked car. Wow.
Burnett: But as gross and funny
and weird as this is,
each miscellaneous challenge,
I can tell you a real story
that this is based on.
"Drink your own pee
straight from the source,
an Australian tradition."
[ Laughter ]
What?
You got to eat
your friend's toenail.
‐No, not cool.
‐No way, man.
You don't have
to do any of it.
Cole, you got a toenail
we can clip off?
Burnett: But for people
who are willing to step
out of their comfort zone...
Oh, that's so nasty.
...they're going
to earn points on it.
Man:
Do we have to skate naked?
Oh, yeah. There's got
to be a naked one.
‐Will they skate naked?
‐What the...
Will they drink pee
straight from the source?
‐Yeah!
‐Oh!
Someone has got
to get married.
Will they get married?
Somebody should
marry Nyjah, dude.
[ Laughter ]
Oh...
The answer to all of these
is yes, probably.
...crazy.
You've earned us, like,
500 points so far.
Let's keep it going.
Let's keep it going.
So there he goes.
There's our...100 points
right there going to
waste right...now.
Glick, good one.
150 down the drain.
Never depend on
Glick's dick for anything.
You got it.
♪♪
Ah, almost it, Madars.
On "King of the Road,"
you get the book,
and you just start
chipping away.
‐Yeah. See that?
‐Yeah. That's what I was saying.
Rhino: It's in your brain.
It's in your hand.
You're constantly looking
through it, thinking about it.
Oh, we'll eat shit soon.
So bad.
[ Imitating chewing noises ]
They have to try tricks
that they never even thought
or wanted to do
in their life.
Hands are giving out.
Your hands are on
the end of your board,
so when you go off
the curb and you...
You could cut
your knuckles off.
♪ Just come over ♪
I don't think I'm ready.
I'm about to have a meltdown!
[ Screaming ]
♪ That there is
no one else ♪
Right here.
Get right here.
‐Five more tries.
‐Five more tries.
Apse: All right. I'm coming.
Yeah, Madars!
[ Cheering ]
That was amazing!
That was...legend.
‐Holy shit.
‐Ah!
Rhino: No one likes to admit
that people are competitive,
but "King of the Road,"
it kind of ‐‐ I don't know.
It kind of brings it out
in some people, you know?
♪♪
Brock: That's right!
50 points, that easy.
The other dudes
have gnarly teams.
We all have respect for them,
and I hope they have
some respect for us too,
but, yeah, we got
a killer...team.
We're going to kick the rest
of these dudes' asses.
Walker: Get a little bit
of lubrication.
Get going.
‐Ooh!
‐Yeah!
Man: Hey, get that book
over here, Justin!
We're checking shit off!
‐Yeah!
‐Check.
♪♪
Man: Oh, yeah!
Hell, yeah, Zion.
Yeah, Z.
‐Cab big flip?
‐Yeah.
‐Oh!
‐Oh, you okay?
‐You all good?
‐You good?
Holy shit.
The timing is super hard
just to get the balance right.
It's like a dance.
Swazy would love this trick.
In and out.
♪♪
Man: Oh, yeah!
Perfect execution,
nuts to nuts.
Check!
[ Horn honking ]
Campbell: Dude, there's
a fly in here.
‐Where is he at?
‐Roll your window up.
We go to catch
a fly and eat it.
‐Get him.
‐It's right there.
‐Really?
‐Yeah, right there.
Oh, yeah.
It's right there.
[ Laughter ]
‐Oh...
‐Where is it?
‐Goddamn it, dude.
‐He knows.
Got him.
Merlino:
I mean, there's really no
strategy to "King of the Road."
‐Eat it.
‐I'm not eating that mother...
Just everything we can do,
we just try to get
points, you know?
You caught it.
You got to eat it.
Man, these mother...land
on shit every goddamn day.
Eat it and stop
looking at it.
But, I mean, who the...
wants to eat a...fly?
‐Why did I...do this?
‐Oh, yeah. You got it, Nick.
Yeah!
[ Laughter ]
Do you want to do that?
[ Chuckles ]
I don't want to.
Ugh!
Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...
‐I'm going in hard.
‐Hey, hey, hey, watch out!
Man: Oh, you got caught.
Walker: People get pretty
sheisty out there.
But we might have
some tricks up our sleeve.
Oh, got his ass!
♪♪
Burn‐Dog said sending
city challenges in 5 minutes.
Oh, city, so we have
city challenges here.
‐Yeah.
‐Okay.
As these teams go
from city to city,
they have unique challenges
special to that town.
All right. We got
our city challenges.
‐Where we going, Mike?
‐What they don't realize yet
is that they're all
going to the same spot.
Mathews:
First one is, get double caveman
tricks on the dog‐park rail.
Best doubles variations
gets a extra 50 points.
Oh, so that one must be
all the teams are doing it.
Yeah, yeah. We got to go
to this...handrail.
‐Let's go jam it up.
‐Let's go jam it up, boys!
♪♪
Here's our...
caveman rail.
Damn, that thing is...
‐Dude, this is gnarly.
‐Thing is pretty bucked.
I would rather just do normal
tricks on it, you know?
It's not part
of the deal.
♪♪
Oh, so scary.
Where is it at?
‐Oh, they're here.
‐Who we got?
Man: Just Element dudes.
Hey, watch out!
Mason!
‐Should we get out?
‐I'm scared.
Well, we should find
out if there's...
I think ‐‐ I think
they're scared of us.
They think that we're
about to do something.
Burnett: In general, the teams
want to avoid each other.
Do y'all got to
...with us?
Think you're going
to...with us.
There's lots of paranoia...
‐We're here for the rail.
‐All right.
Brock: Tyson is just acting like
a...creep over there.
Burnett: ...because there's
opportunities to earn points
by sabotaging the other teams.
How many points you got?
I have nothing.
Oh, got his ass!
Oh, you guys got me
so good, dude.
Got to have eyes in the back
of your head on this shit.
Sinclair: Let me know if you
guys see the rail.
‐Oh, they're down there.
‐Hey, get the pigs' feet.
Oh, get the pig feet.
Get the goddamn pig feet.
Man: I got to drink
[Indistinct].
Going in.
‐Oh, God. What the...
‐...is that?
[ Laughter ]
Someone is going
to be bummed.
Man: I'm going in.
I'm going in hard, too.
♪♪
[ Tires screech ]
Man: Hey, hey, hey, watch out!
Look out! Look out!
Look out! Look out!
‐Oh!
‐Oh, he got caught!
[ Slow‐down screaming ]
Oh!
Man: Mike, get out of here.
Mike, what are you doing?
I'm in the ‐‐ I'm in
the wrong...way of ‐‐
of a bridge, mother...
What are you talking about?
Dude, you got chunks
of it on your back.
People get pretty
sheisty out there.
Get that.
♪♪
Ohh!
Are you... ‐‐
[ Screams ]
Ah! All right.
Let me put that in the...
‐Are we done?
‐Think so.
‐Yes!
‐Done the best doubles first.
‐Yeah, yeah.
‐It's just the best...
It's just the best, so we're
going to do a better one.
Man: All right. Let's get it.
♪♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
[ Cheering ]
♪ Oh, no ♪
All right. Let's go.
‐Let's get out of here.
‐Watch the flooring.
Yeah, yeah.
‐Yeah, Glick.
‐Right here, dude.
♪♪
‐Yeah! Yes!
‐...yeah.
...yeah, dude.
[ Laughter ]
Man: He...handled that.
The challenge was the gnarliest
caveman doubles on the rail.
No one is going backwards
down that thing.
Corey went backwards, so I think
we got a good chance, for sure.
Man #2:
Easily the gnarliest doubles.
‐Hey, Evan.
‐Hey, don't
let him get too close.
That's the enemy.
♪♪
Yeah!
That was... [indistinct]
You didn't hook me up?
I didn't even see
you going down.
All right. These guys know
we're not...playing now.
Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...
We're going to have to have
a social‐media discussion.
You're not supposed
to film stories.
Please. What?
Yeah, because of you.
I mean, look at it.
Those dudes are in there.
What the...are
they sending us to?
It's in the middle
of...nowhere.
Burnett:
City challenges are all about
checking out
the local skate scene,
so we're sending each team
to a famous Reno skate spot
where they've got
to do four tricks.
I have no idea
where we are.
Looks like a fun skate spot,
that's for sure.
♪♪
Man: Oh, yeah!
Mathews:
We're going to have to have
a social‐media discussion.
You're not supposed
to film stories either.
‐Really?
‐Yes.
I'm not going to film Evan
trying to do tricks.
I'll film someone
tail‐sliding it.
Cole Matthews,
longtime Element team manager,
his secret skill is,
he's one of the only people that
Nyjah will actually listen to.
There's a strategy to
"King of the Road,"
and basically, you don't
want anyone to know
what you're doing
or where you're at
because they'll
sabotage your shit.
Ugh.
Cole is actually
like Nyjah's big brother.
‐What?
‐Yeah, but everyone
knows we're here.
Yeah, because of you.
[ Laughs ]
Like, they just act
like 12‐year‐olds
to each other, just bickering.
I'll be cautious
of my story posts.
Please.
‐There's love there.
‐Always hating on me.
♪♪
We got a fire going.
The team managers keep
the enthusiasm high...
‐I've never cooked a s'more.
‐Really?
You're about to be
...stoked.
...and keep these guys
on track.
Let's go.
♪ Don't want to think
about you again ♪
Brock: That's one, two.
Yeah.
♪ Don't want to dream
about you again ♪
♪ I know I'm going to cry
about you again ♪
Man: Woo! That's a make.
I think these guys are going
to knock this one out quick.
The last time I was on "King of
the Road" was with Toy Machine.
We got dead last, so my strategy
this year ‐‐
Let the dudes run it.
I don't know what the...
I'm doing at this point.
Oh, my!
Oh! Oh!
Walter, you...
S'mores!
What's the technique
here, Justin?
Just put it on a stick
and burn the shit out of it.
Man: Yeah!
That's it.
That's it. Check.
S'mores, s'mores. Chima.
First s'more ever.
It's good.
‐Do you love s'mores?
‐I do not love s'mores.
This kid, worst childhood.
‐[ Speaking indistinctly ]
‐Get out of here.
♪ I don't want to think
about you again ♪
Two more to go!
♪ I don't want to dream
about you again ♪
[ Cheering ]
♪ I know I'm going
to cry about you again ♪
[ Cheering ]
Hey, we good.
That was quick.
Good job, fellas, good job.
♪ Again, yeah! ♪
[ Cheering ]
Easy.
♪ I don't want to
I don't want to ♪
♪ I don't want
to think about you again ♪
That was amazing, dude.
That was...
‐Get some action.
‐...yeah.
‐Kiki back tail.
‐Good job, boys.
‐Fired up.
‐Bring it up.
Man: Kyle, you feel like taking
some impact on your legs
and rolling off that roof?
Walker: Hey, get me up there.
Ferguson:
Oh, it actually looks way
higher now that he's up there.
Walker: This is hectic.
It's pretty...gnarly.
All right.
...it, right here.
‐Don't do it.
‐About to fly off the roof.
Man: King of the wall.
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
[ Cheering intensifies ]
Man: Mother...
That was scary as...
It's like, the more I stand up
here and just look down...
‐Yeah.
‐...really over it.
The s'more you stayed up there.
The s'more I stayed up there.
[ Chuckles ]
Mm.
♪♪
Perfect flat ground,
all the run‐up, this is perfect.
This is perfect
for flat ground.
♪♪
♪ Too slow ♪
That easy.
♪ Too slow, too slow
too slow, too slow ♪
Oh, my God!
Yes!
While standing still, ollie a
teammate who's rolling at you.
‐Ooh. All right.
‐This is so sketchy.
♪♪
♪ Too slow ♪
Oh!
He just ollied
a flying meatball.
♪ Too slow, too slow,
too slow, too slow ♪
‐Cole.
‐Check!
♪ Too slow, too slow,
too slow, too slow ♪
Yes!
Merlino: Don't...hit me.
If you...up, my face is dead.
Glick is trying
to redeem his dick,
and he's going to try
to kickflip Merlino
from toes to head right here.
♪ A little silver cross
held tight in the light ♪
‐Wow!
‐Yeah, boy.
He did it easy, make sure
we had an advantage finally,
so we're getting some points.
We're doing all right.
I had faith in you
the whole time.
Man: Nice.
Man #2: Hey, there's a wedding
chapel right there.
Where?
‐Aw.
‐There's a what?
There's a wedding chapel
right there, Mike.
‐Let's get married!
‐Mike, there's a wedding chapel.
We're going to get
married right now?
There's a...
wedding chapel right there.
‐Hey, you want to get married?
‐I'm down.
Wilson: Yeah? Me and Aidan
are down.
You guys are going
to get married?
Yeah, and then we just
get it annulled in 48 hours.
Let's go.
And you can just walk
in there and do it?
‐You should call and make sure.
‐I'm getting the reservation.
‐You're getting a rezzy?
‐Can we get a limo?
Muller:
It's your wedding day, man.
Come on.
‐I got to get hammered tonight.
‐You're getting married today.
You're getting
married today, dude.
I'm really...nervous.
Hi, Sarah.
I was wondering, um,
if you have any
openings tonight.
‐We have a 9:00 o'clock.
‐9:00 o'clock?
All right. My name
is Cole Wilson,
and I'm arriving
at 9:00 o'clock.
Sarah: All right.
We'll see you then.
‐Bye, bye.
‐I think it's fine, dude.
We're getting married
at 9:00 o'clock, fellas.
I can't wait.
‐That's so cool.
‐Holy shit.
I hope I don't
get cold feet.
Roy:
Next on "King of the Road"...
I've always wanted to get
married, why not to a bro?
Is there a bathroom?
I'm really nervous.
‐Where's Aidan?
‐I'm right here.
Campbell: Oh,
I'm not trying to run away.
[ Laughter ]
Sinclair:
I did not know I was going to be
going to a wedding today,
but I'm stoked.
Wilson: Should we hold hands?
So this is it.
Reno is famous for
a lot of things,
one of which is quick marriages
and even quicker divorces,
so this year, we had to
throw get married
into the miscellaneous
challenges.
Is there ‐‐ is there a bathroom?
I'm really nervous.
‐How's my hair, Sam?
‐It's great.
Okay.
Man: Everything is going
to be perfect.
♪♪
Let's go. Come on, Walter.
Come on, Walter. Let's go.
Let's go, Walter.
Come on. Sit.
Sit down.
Woman: Please rise.
♪♪
Officiant: You two loving hearts
have come here
to become partners for life.
I, Aidan...
I, Aidan...
...take you, Cole...
...take you, Cole...
...to be my partner
for life...
...to be my partner
for life...
...my one true love...
...my one true love...
...and love you today...
...and love you today...
...tomorrow and forever...
...tomorrow and forever...
I, Cole...
I, Cole...
...take you, Aidan...
...take you, Aidan...
to be my partner for life...
...to be my partner
for life...
...my one, true love...
...my one, true love...
I will trust you and honor you.
I will trust you and honor you.
I will laugh with you
and cry with you.
I will laugh with you
and cry with you.
I will love you faithfully...
I will love you faithfully...
...through the best
and the worst.
...through the best
and the worst.
I will always be there.
I will always be there.
And, Aidan,
do you have a ring?
I do.
♪ You can always have hope ♪
♪ that I will be waiting
through miles ♪
And Cole.
You guys are killing
it up there.
♪ To come and to go ♪
♪ Evermore ♪
♪ You can take every word ♪
♪ That's ever been spoken ♪
♪ As proof that
we'll never be broken ♪
May their families
and friends bless
this union with
tranquility and harmony,
and may they walk
forever in sunshine.
♪ We've made it somehow ♪
You may kiss your partner.
♪ To evermore ♪
‐Congratulations.
‐Yeah!
♪ So if it's all right
with you I'll be along ♪
♪ Together through everything ♪
♪ We will be strong ♪
♪ We build our own lifetime ♪
That was kind
of intense, man.
‐I almost started crying.
‐Let's play music now.
How do I feel?
Like a changed man.
Just I don't know, man.
Words can't explain it.
It was.
It got a little heavier than
I thought, yeah, for sure.
Staring in Cole's eyes,
those beautiful brown eyes.
I'm full of happiness.
‐True love.
‐Kiss him.
Check, Cole and Aidan,
happy forever.
[ Laughs ]
Sinclair: Big day today.
Started off losers, ended up,
uh, ended up winners, I think.
...Attended a beautiful
wedding, two of my best friends.
You know, that's one
for the record books.
♪ I should have told you ♪
♪ Every single day ♪
♪ That I love you ♪
I love you, man.
♪ I get to hold you ♪
We...did it.
...did it!
♪♪
♪ I'll always be there ♪
Check!
On the next
"King of the Road"...
‐All hail Cardi L.
‐...yes, dude!
Roy: Come on, Aidan!
Oh! Whoa!
Meet up with the infamous EMB OG
Mike Carroll and Chico Brenes.
[ Cheering ]
I think Merlino may have
cost us about 1,000 points.
♪♪
‐Oh...
‐This is amazing.
Check!
Sinclair: Have you guys thought
about prenups?
‐Prenups?
‐I don't even know
what that is.
Campbell: I trust him.