King of the Road (2016-…): Season 1, Episode 7 - A Wobbly Beast - full transcript
The teams must complete challenges on the Gonz circle-board.
Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
Please do not attempt
to perform any of these stunts
Or activities in this show,
As they are superdangerous;
crazy, wild-dangerous.
The stunts seen are either
performed by professionals
Or under the supervision
of professionals,
Serious professionals.
This show also contains
bad language.
Fucking that.
It's a dude poodle?
Fuck that!
I say it's just tongue.
And rub its nuts.
Like ah,
-rub its nuts?
Rusty trombone.
-Go all the way, bill.
Might as well, man.
We drove 100 miles
out of the way
To make out
with a poodle.
Do I look okay?
Titties first.
If we don't win,
I'm quitting.
It is rare
For skaters to have
a full-sized poodle.
It's usually a pitbull,
but I don't know
If anybody here would want
to make out with a pitbull.
I'm just gonna sit
right here. Is that okay?
No.
Come on, man.
Help me out, please.
And they were teasing us
on the drive down
That the poodle had boners
waiting for bill.
It's the same as paige.
Definitely didn't kiss back.
So we get here,
the boner's gone.
you got this.
Yuck! Bleh!
Yes?
-I got a tongue.
I swear to god, I got a tongue.
-Yeah!
That counts.
♪ raw oysters, texas pete
♪ sea urchin on the reef
♪ sour cheeseburger bit to eat
♪ lick butter goes with keef
♪ into the cocoa leaf
♪ fresh maggots on my teeth,
they're cheap ♪
♪ oh, baby!
♪ oh, oh oh oh oh
♪ oh, oh oh oh!
♪ oh oh oh
♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh
I'll try it on.
Smyth, you wanna?
-We might be leading.
-Look. Just made it to woodward.
Fuck.
-♪ oh, oh oh oh oh
A little bit.
A little sick, a little tired.
Woodward...West.
Woodward, they have this thing
called the mega ramp,
Which is this giant,
ski-jump-like apparatus
With an oversized quarter pipe
that's easily 2.5 times bigger
Than those big vert ramps
you see on tv.
I'd be willing to bet
this is the first time
The chocolate team has ever even
seen a mega ramp up close,
Much less tried to skate it.
♪
Ah!
Ha ha.
Hell, yeah, eli!
--oh, my god.
The mega ramp's definitely
like a specialized discipline.
Only like, I don't know,
20 people in the world do it.
So, while there are people,
like bob burnquist,
Who can totally
dominate this stuff,
The chocolate team
Hasn't really messed
with a mega ramp before.
This is really, really
big terrain, especially --
Even for raven,
this is big terrain.
What the fuck?
Danny way, colin mckay,
burnquist,
You guys are fucking crazy.
Out of your minds.
This is insane.
Looking at it from up there
And just thinking
about the footage
You've seen of people,
it doesn't even make sense.
♪
Aaaaaaah!
Help me!
Let's get rolling in.
This is the scariest
shit, ever.
♪ different about you
Whoa! Ahh!
Whoa! Oh!
Big couch!
Got a couple of crazy
mega ramp challenges;
One of them is hippie jump
the euro gap,
Jump from your board
onto this board
And then just hit the lip.
-You gotta hit the lip?
-Hit the lip?
-That's so heavy, man.
-What?!
-That's --
-right here big dog.
Yeah!
This could be done;
one and done.
Ohhhhhh!
Ray-ray!
Yeah, ray!
Perform a 4-man
under-over routine
On the big quarter pipe with
at least one dude hitting vert
And one dude
flipping the boards.
♪ until they look vicious
♪ damn! What I gotta say
to get a piece of that? ♪
-Oh, my god!
-Dude. Dude.
That was fucked.
-Yeah.
-It's just timing.
♪
Oh, my god!
Only the top person
has to be at the vert.
Everybody else can be
at the bottom.
We're gonna test one out.
-Get on, baby.
-Good.
Ahhhh!
Right here.
-That's it.
-Exactly how you three
Were just doing it
and raven just --
You guys are nailing it
right now.
I got it right here.
1, 2, 3.
-Go on.
♪
♪ the runway walk ♪
-Ow!
-♪ (na na, na na, na na
♪ -did you grind it?
-Yeah.
-Did you grind?
-Ohhh!
-I didn't grind, but --
-Did you grind it?
-How was that?
Let's get it
with the grind, dude.
Yeah, we got the challenge.
If we could get one
With a grind,
that would be sick.
All right, man,
we're getting the grind!
It's the chocolate team, dude.
-All right, man, you ready?
-Yeah.
Whoa. Wow!
-Yeah.
Dude, that was it
right there.
- Whoo!
- -♪ sardonic synic
♪ suffering from ennui
♪ jaded of irony
♪ and gooey sentimentality
-check this out.
He's gonna do this shit.
Oh, shit.
-Yes!
That's gonna work
so deliciously.
♪
Keep it going, mike.
You got it.
30 stairs, bitch.
-Yeah!
-Ohhhhh!
Yay-ay!
That was a fucking
30-stair bridge!
Hand me a beer.
I got an idea.
Hey, mike, I think it'd be sick
if somebody hands you a beer.
-Chug, chug, chug!
-Adds icing on the cake 'cause
That's two tricks from the book
in one and I think he's got it.
Yeah, mike.
Cold beer!
Yes.
Yeah, dude.
I don't know why you're so mad.
That was hilarious.
Well, dude,
I was fucking chilling.
Mike's getting pissed.
Cheers. Whoo!
Oh, my god!
-Yes!
Stone cold it! Ohh!
Ahhhhh!
-Whoo!
-Yeah-eah!
Sorry I drank
all the beers.
♪
Toy machine.
Watsonville, santa cruz.
Meet up with jason jessee,
complete a special challenge.
It's 200 points.
So we gotta meet up with him
and do this shit.
Yeah.
All right, let's go.
♪
I can't think of one spot
in watsonville.
I can only think of one person
and that person is jason jessee.
Headed into jason's.
Jason jessee was a serious
badass in the late '80s.
He kind of disappeared
in the '90s.
Everybody of my generation
like hung on to him
'cause he was superfunny,
But fucking tough as nails,
and kind of a weirdo, too.
My mind is a garden.
I skateboard,
but I'm an artist.
I love art
and I love you!
Come to me and kiss me.
So we sent the toy machine team
out to his watsonville compound.
I don't know what they're
gonna make of this guy.
Aha, there he is.
-How you doing?
-My name's axel.
-Axel? Rad. Nice to meet you.
Hell, yeah. What's up, billy?
-Nice to meet ya.
-Fuck, yeah.
-Jason, what's up man? Daniel.
Yes. Nice
to meet you, daniel.
Jason jessee, legendary pro.
He's a wild man.
He's great.
-I hope I don't get
Violent diarrhea
'cause of all this pressure.
There's so many fucking people
here right now, it's crazy.
-Owww!
-Watsonville ain't so bad.
-Thanks, man.
-There's nobody out there.
-Very cool.
-It's so chill.
I love watsonville.
It's just a farm and bitching
and there's history.
And there's like a ton
of history.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
I just wanna jump off the edge,
never look back.
We gotta get our challenges,
See what the fuck is going on.
-Okay. You guys, okay.
So, am I supposed to tell you
what we're supposed to do?
We know one of the things.
Oh, about the chickens?
-Wait, what?
We have to do that.
Just catch a chicken
and put it down like that?
No. Hypnotize it.
Ohhh.
We have to hypnotize a chicken.
-Wait, how about we just...?
Let me just get 'em
out here real quick.
Don't let 'em out yet.
-You don't want --
-Okay.
-Let's try not to startle them.
Everybody just chill.
-All right.
Thanks, blake.
Good call, blake.
blake knows
his fucking chickens.
Oh.
Let him talk.
Just let him, let him --
In the house, right where
the kitchen is, up on top,
There's a rooster
that's stuffed.
Can somebody grab him?
Okay, so he's pretty mellow now.
-Okay.
So, basically,
you just have to go like this.
That's about it.
Oh, my god.
This thing is
fucking hectic.
♪
So, basically, that's it
and you gotta be able to --
Hold on. You're gonna scare
the shit out of 'im.
Just set him right here.
-He looks dead.
He's not dead.
Okay, so who wants
to give this a shot?
It's kind of a pain
in the ass, but.
I'll give it a shot for --
can you show me how
To handle him initially?
-Okay, so hold their feet.
So grab his feet?
-Yeah.
-So get his back real quick
And then hold the feet?
-Yeah.
I've never handled
a chicken before.
And then slowly
lower him down here?
Yeah, and then
you wanna spin,
'cause he's gonna
get rowdy on you.
So --
-you just gotta not spaz.
-He is?
-So just, but start spinning.
-Spin it a little.
-Yeah, right in his eye.
Tighter circles.
And then slowly
let go of his legs.
That's an easy 100 points.
Sinclair: Couple more spins.
-Yes.
Just be real gentle.
Like if --
Like if it's a sandwich.
-He's a baby.
I mean, how would you
handle a sandwich?
Gently.
Right?
You gotta be able to stand
up to get the 100 points.
Slowly.
Just keep doing it.
Don't give up.
Don't spaz, either.
All right.
So, yeah, you folded.
Now you -- wait.
Now you wanna get 'im on here.
-Oh, now I gotta get 'im
On there?
-Just for an extra 40 points.
-Okay.
-Try to get 'im up.
-Extra 40, do it.
Like almost
like it's a child.
Okay, let go of his feet
and just hold his body.
Just kind of let him get
to know his buddy's back.
Gross.
Okay, now that is gross,
what you're doing.
I need to do that
to the team every night.
Settle 'em down
right when we're pulling in,
Just fucking just like that.
-Wait. Wait wait wait.
Warning!
Please do not attempt --
Wait. Please do not attempt --
all right.
♪
♪ there ain't
a problem I've got ♪
♪ that the world
don't know about ♪
-Whoo-oo-oo!
-♪ and when I get tied
♪ in knots
-he's fucking insane.
He's lost his goddamn mind.
-For sure.
Owwwww-ooh-hoo! Yeah!
-♪ but now and then
-We have arrived.
-♪ I catch one on my chin
Wanna wait for him?
Okay, okay.
Provost.
-Or axel.
Since the good-old days
of california,
They've been
building pools out there,
So there's some big, wide-open
pools from like the '50s.
This spot's epic.
Two-trick line on the ledge
and then roll in right here.
And then a corner air.
♪
Oh!
Axel's fucking bad
as fuck.
What the baryshnikov?
Did you see the push?
-Yeah.
It was, that was what nailed it.
Like fuck, yeah,
That push was amazing;
it was delicate.
It was fucking delicate,
but fierce.
♪
Whah!
-Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Whoa.
Fuck, yes.
Shit!
Hey, does that feel
more comfortable?
-I don't know.
-It might.
It's so clean.
It feels good.
-Fuck.
-Ha!
Okay, 100 points
and 6 bucks.
--you got this.
- Whoo-oo!
-Yeah, steve.
-That was so good. Oh, yeah.
Fuck.
Winded, heavywinded.
So that, that
qualified for...?
That qualifies easily.
That frontside air qualifies.
I got 6 bucks for you, too.
-All right.
-You bet.
Okay, watch out.
Whoo-oo-oo!
Whoo!
Yeah! Yeah!
♪
That was insane.
Holy shit.
We're following jason jessee
to grandpa's pool.
None of us know what that is,
but it sounds cool.
Nice.
Wow.
If you think you show up
to the pool with no snacks
On "king of the road,"
think again.
You don't do that.
-Trainee law.
But you're never the first
dude out of the van.
Just always back here,
snacking.
Oh, fuck.
Wha-a-t?!
Okay, so the challenge here is
a trick over the snowplow
And the death box
at the same time.
So, basically,
over this and this.
♪
Oh, shit.
Blake went down
on his first try.
I call it.
Agh!
I think billy
might be setting up
To ollie off the top
of the van.
I'm not sure what he's doing.
-All right.
Go, bill!
-Bill!
-That's it.
-Owwwww!
Yeah, bill. I like how
you're thinking, bud.
Yes.
Done. It's a nice 30.
-Oh, nice.
-Yeah axel.
Hmm.
He's got this.
Whoo-oo-oo-oo!
-♪ to this girl next door
This challenge is now completed.
But we're not done.
We're still going.
We're having a good time here.
Ow! Whoo-hoo!
It's exciting.
It's a wrap.
Well, it's a wrap
and full of strawberries.
Oh!
Damn. I'm already having
separation anxiety.
--I don't wanna go.
I don't want you guys
to go, yet.
Lutheran: Good to see you, man.
Cheers.
Thanks for everything.
Appreciate the hospitality
-Take care.
-Bye.
So, we finished up
with jason jessee,
Knocked out all
of his challenges.
Everybody did good;
everybody had a great time.
Now we gotta go
maybe get some power tools
And make this
mark gonzales board,
So we got a lot
of shit to do.
--first, we gotta eat,
So we can do it
on a full stomach.
-"first, we gotta eat"!
-Yep.
♪
Fresno is straight
"grapes of wrath" country.
It's in california's
central valley,
Where most of the food
in america is grown,
But it's just like a dusty,
hot, harsh, cowboy town.
In skateboarding, it's famous
for having a lot of pools
'cause there's a lot
of derelict properties.
The latino culture
there is superbig
And even vaquero culture,
which is like the cowboys,
Still really
going strong in fresno.
We wanted them
to look the part,
So we sent them to el caporal,
An awesome, family-owned,
western-wear store
Right there
in the heart of fresno.
♪
Oh, I'm feeling
that white hat right there.
♪ in the corner,
at the table ♪
♪ by the jukebox
-I want something supershiny.
28.
These are gonna be good.
These are gonna be
so tight.
We are el caporal western wear.
We specialize, more or less,
in the modern western look.
Where do you see the sizes?
-♪ in the corner
♪ at the table
♪ by the jukebox
-this one's good.
She's talking
about shaping the hats.
Shaping them?
-Dude, let's just get the shit
And go.
-I know.
They're, they're getting
crazy with it.
♪ and you'll sure find me
Burnett: Heath totally
will be into this
Because he's
a sharp-dressed man.
He's never cared about looking
like the rest of the guys.
Mike davis, he's always been
one cowboy hat away
From working on the ranch.
I'm feeling good.
I kinda like this.
A new look for me.
I'm gonna try it on.
-Go get your pants on, dude.
♪ in the corner
-draw!
-♪ at the table
-you look like
John travolta's sidekick.
-♪ by the jukebox
They feel good,
I look good,
- and so we're good to go.
♪
Oh, trem.
Saddle up, cowboy.
♪
Mace.
What up, bud?
Rick howard and mike carroll
Are the owners
of girl skateboards.
They're our
friends/bosses/legends.
Mike carroll and rick howard
are not only skate legends,
But they're kind of
these guy's bosses.
It's kind of like
"oh, shit, the boss is here.
I better skate."
Carroll came in there
like mr. Coach, you know,
Like make sure everyone's
like doing
What they need to be doing and
then rick was just all smiles.
♪
These are the guys
that put jereme rogers
On the team way back when
and those guys kind of have
A special
holdover relationship.
Even if I cared, they're still
gonna call me sperm,
Or sherm, like a fucking kid.
I'm 30 are they're "hey,
what's up, sperm?" you know.
We're superstoked
they're here.
♪
Tight.
-Justin, let's do this!
-All right.
Oh, shit!
-Longform bike.
How was that feeling?
This feeling sucks.
Swing it, dude.
Stay in your squat.
Kid just -- kid looks bad.
Oh, that's easy.
Come on, let's do this!
-Whip it, dude!
Whip? Yeah, I'm just
gonna fucking whip it!
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
-Whoo!
-That counts?
Fuck yeah, that counts.
Yeah, that was it.
-Dude, you got the --
-fuck, yeah.
yeah!
Lock that shit tight.
-We're out here
In the heart of fresno,
about to do a switch trey
With some good ol' copenhagen
in my mouth.
♪
Ah, chew, I tried chew
once in my life.
I fucking threw up.
The shit's really gnarly.
It gross.
There we go, man.
-Pack that shit in there.
-Mm-hmm.
-Oh, yeah.
yeah!
♪ can't forget
about what used to be ♪
♪ be happy with
the way life is ♪
♪ not think about
what once was his ♪
-Oh-ho-ho!
-♪ whiskey drunk
Holy shit,
that was so good.
♪ I'm taking your midnight run
-wow. That was jacked.
That chew, dude.
Oh, just like in
my fucking throat.
It's like burning
the shit out of it.
All right, let's move, dudes.
-Thank you.
♪
Beautiful fresno, california.
My first time.
-Bam.
-Wow.
-This is a fucking
Bug pool to grind.
-This is kind of fucking gnarly.
What --
-oh, shit! All right. Next one.
--dude, the heel pads
On these things
make it hard.
Yeah, this thing's
weird, man.
♪
Oh, my.
-Ohhh!
-Yeah, rhino.
I'd be scared, dude.
-Oh, yeah.
-Whoo!
Let's go!
All right man,
I got 20 on this one.
Yeah, aaron.
-20?
-Yeah.
-Rhino.
-Ohhh!
-Yeah-eah!
-All right.
-20 bucks.
-Yeah. Fuck, yeah, rhino.
-Hell, yeah.
-Gimme that money!
-Yeah.
Fuck, yeah.
Goddamn 50-year-old catching
and coping in a pool.
-Good?
-Yep.
Let's get it.
Good work, boys.
♪
♪
So whose boards and who's down
To let, let their boards go?
-Mine.
-Oh, yeah, take mine.
-You only have one, right?
-Yeah.
-And mine, too.
-Take my board.
-And then we need fez's board.
-Ahem!
-Drinks are over there.
Mine's right there, mike,
under your foot.
Damn, dude, I like that board,
but whatever.
♪
We need
a couple more, huh?
They did it with 10.
-Yeah.
Mark gonzales is the
pablo picasso of skateboarding.
He helped invent
modern street skating.
♪
He's definitely eccentric.
I do the tricks,
not you!
And, uh, he's
consistently regarded
As the greatest skateboarder
of all times.
Oh, mark gonzales,
your brain.
The gonz circle board,
it was kind of more of like a,
A, piece of art than any sort of
functional, rideable equipment.
Basically, mark gonzales
got 10 or so boards
And screwed them end-to-end
To make this perfectly circular
skateboard loop.
Perfect height.
I've never seen the gonz circle
board live and in person.
From what I can tell,
it's really, really heavy
And really unstable.
I hope it's a good time
for these guys,
But, it's a wobbly beast.
Well, I guess we'll
see how they do.
Gotta be a --
Damn, dude, that's crazy.
It's fricking hard, dude.
It looks easy, you know.
It just looks like
a circle of skateboards,
But it is not
fucking easy to ride.
-Yeah.
-What, what do you guys want
To do?
-Go to the --
Yes!
Whoa!
♪ whoo! Well, the sun
ain't shining ♪
♪ it's a dark and cloudy day ♪
♪
♪ well, the sun ain't shining
-oh, he's doing it.
♪ it's dark and cloudy day ♪
Oh, oh.
♪ well, it might as well stop
'cause my baby just gone away ♪
♪
♪ well, she packed up
her bags ♪
♪ and she threw 'em
on the 2:19 ♪
♪
♪ well, she packed up
her bags ♪
♪ and she threw 'em
on the 2:19 ♪
♪
♪ that train won't stop
♪ 'til it's rolling
into new orleans ♪
♪
♪ express yourself back home
♪ I can't make love alone
♪ express yourself back home
♪ before I scream and moan
♪ oh, mama, I'm in misery
-yes.
That was fucking --
-♪ get your booty
♪ on home to me
-I almost got decapitated, dude.
Holy shit, dude.
It feels like
it'll chop you in half,
If it lands on you, you know.
Wha-bam!
♪
Yeah!
-Whoo-oo-ooh!
Ye-e-e-s!
Right there!
-♪ well, the boss keep
Yeah-eah-eah-eah!
♪ oh, mama, I'm in misery
♪ get your booty
on home to me ♪
Yikes!
-Jesus christ!
You okay, dude?
Yeah.
-1, 2, fuck my life, 3.
I mean, did you guys
not talk about
That back truck hanging up?
Is that what happened,
the back truck went off?
Yeah, that's
what I was saying earlier.
This truck is already
In hangup position
on the top of the coping,
So you have to take one
of the trucks off,
So you don't hang up
when you drop in,
But pretty much I went to drop
in and just didn't go anywhere
And just went straight
to the flat.
The boards came
down on top of me.
It was -- it was terrible.
So, who's up next?
Yikes.
-I'll try it for eli.
-Grabbing on --
-get inside.
-Do it.
-Ow.
♪
Yes.
-Was that 4 feet?
-No, but that's --
Wha-a-t?!
Hell, dude!
Right here, that's 4 feet.
If anybody has
a problem with that,
They can come talk to...
-Phelps.
The ambassador/counselor
said 4 feet.
All right, somebody unscrew
my board; I wanna skate.
Officer, it's cool.
It's a gons board.
Yikes.
-Whew!
Got it cowboy?
-Yeah.
Yeah!
Oh!
♪
All right, I'm ready
when you are.
- yeah-oh!
Whoo!
Fuck, yeah.
Dude, that was scary.
I'm like this --
Let's go fucking
grind a curb.
♪
Oh!
Oh, my god.
Yeah, clive!
Ohhhhhhh!
-Yeah.
-Ohhhhh!
Yeah, clive.
He just did it.
-Yeah!
-Fuck, yeah.
Okay.
-Here we go.
♪
Yeah, axel.
It's fucking sketchy.
-I'll go up there
And see hot it is, but.
-I'll stand on one.
-Let's see how scary it is.
-Was that sketchy?
Fuck it. I'll try one.
All right.
I'll -- I got you, man.
You think it just goes
kind of normal?
Can, can go normal.
Who knows?
All right,
3, 2, 1, go.
Oh, my god!
Fuck it. I'll try one.
All right.
I'll -- I got you, man.
All right,
3, 2, 1, go.
Holy shit.
-God!
What the hell?
I'm good, but.
Holy smokes.
Jeez.
-Whew!
-Who's next?
-I can try.
Yeah.
I'm not trying again.
-No.
-Sorry, bros.
I'm outta that one.
Oh, my god!
-That's fricking sick.
-What the...?
-Ohhh!
Are they fucking
kidding me?
Oh.
oh, my god.
What in the fuck?! Yo!
-"oh, my god, jaws!"
-Is that what he's saying?
-"hey, everyone, clint walker."
Guys --
-I can't believe it.
-Jaws is for the kids!
No one even says anything about
my sickass cowboy uniform.
Heath, are you willing
to try it?
♪
Toby heath.
-Toby heath.
Oh, my god.
It was pretty dangerous.
Yeah, yeah.
Kudos to mark gonzales.
♪
First, heath.
♪
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Oh, fuck.
-Aw, fuck it.
That was sick!
They're not nearly as fun
as they look.
Oh!
-Oh.
-Oh.
-Fuck!
-You all right?
-That was hectic.
He's like fucking
zeus, shirtless.
♪ do, do you
♪ do you, do you like my
-Ye-e-e-e-e-s!
-Whoo!
Fuck, yeah!
The bad truck
kept hanging up and so,
Once we took,
got rid of that one,
Then it, then it was easy.
Hey -- did he...?
-Whoo!
-Hell, yeah.
Toby heath, everybody.
Hey, let's take it
down that 4-stair.
We'll take it
to the 4-stair.
- all right.
Ohhhhh!
Ohh.
- yeah, we're good.
-Wow.
-Oh, shit.
We're good, but I might
be over that one.
Ohhh! Dude.
Fucking okay, guy.
Skateboard.
I got traffic,
for sure.
This is fucking
insane, dude.
All right!
Fuck it.
Yeah, let's go.
Hey -- oh!
Oh, fuck!
You got that, jaws.
-Yeah, all right. Ready.
-I got next one.
-All right.
♪ open road with them
streetlights on ♪
Yeah!
-That's it.
-Fuck it!
-That was amazing.
You got this.
♪
Yeah! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Ooh-whee! Whoo-oo-oo!
-Hey.
-Thanks, guys.
Fuck, yeah.
Do it.
Shit!
Got my board back.
Goddamn.
Hey, dude, just one second.
Just one second.
It'll make my night
so much easier.
-No.
-Just you gotta move lips.
Like no tongue, like you don't
have to do any tongue.
Just like move the lips.
Move the lips.
Ha ha. Give 'im
some tongue, man.
All right, ready?
Like 1, 2.
♪ all the
-ready?
♪ good times
-♪ go, go, go
♪ thrasher man, go, go, go, go
-whoo-oo-oo!
-♪ we shared together
-♪ go, go, thrasher man
♪ go, go, thrasher man
-whoo-oo-oo!
♪ all the good times
Thank you, ladies.
♪ that we had
♪ what went wrong
♪ is a wonder
-Ohhhh.
-♪ now that you've gone
♪ and walked out forever
-whoo-oo!
Yeah!
♪ oh, baby, one more
-hi, what's your name?
-♪ lonely night
-uh, my name is michael.
Michael. Nice to meet
you. Trisha.
Nice to meet you.
-♪ this feeling ain't right
♪ without your love
-wee-ooh!
-Yeah!
-Heck, yes.
Thank you so much.
♪ oh, baby,
one more lonely night ♪
I'll help you out.
♪ oh, this feeling
ain't right ♪
Am I gonna be on the news?
I hope so.
♪ without your love
♪
♪ without your love
-oh!
♪ don't know
what's the reason ♪
-Ahhhhh!
-Perfect. Yes.
You got it right here.
♪ we're not together
Ohhhh!
-♪ but that old feeling
-Yoo!
-Yeah!
♪ is stronger
♪ than ever
♪ for the last time
♪ I saw your face
He's so
fried-looking.
A diaper.
It looks like sticker diaper.
- Excellent.
Oh, my god.
♪ one more lonely night
♪ oh, this feeling
ain't right ♪
Do I look okay?
♪ without your love
I hope they let me in.
♪ without your love
♪ ohhhhh!
Is there a room
on the name
Axel cruysberghs?
-♪ we stayed together
♪ all those good times
♪ good times that we had
-second floor?
Okay. Thanks, man.
Finally.
-♪ tell me, what went wrong?
♪ without your love
♪ ahhh
♪
Oh. Oh.
Owww!
right there.
Oh, fuck,
that was so perfect.
Whatever.
Ah.
That's good.
-That looked quite good.
Wasn't it?
Oh, you need -- oh. You were --
-what?
Okay, I,
I stay down, then.
Yes.
-Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
♪
Let me know if you want
some help, jer.
It's on, baby.
Whew!
Jereme's covered
in shaving cream.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
-Baby.
-What the fuck?
This is as much as I could
cover this thing up.
Yo, put more shaving
cream on, jereme!
He fucking rips, man,
And he's down for the crazy
shit, crazy challenges.
He's down.
-oh, my god.
♪ a little bit of rock
-good job.
♪ a little bit of roll
-Yeah, you got it, j-rod.
-♪ a little bit of rock
I think clothes have just
been weighing me down
This whole time, rick.
-oh, my god, dude.
♪ a little bit of rock,
a little bit of roll ♪
That's a nice shell
right there.
When I first saw jereme
walking down the stairs,
I was kind of just like,
"does this dude even skate,
you know?"
♪ swinging right
♪ having a ball
on Saturday night ♪
♪ band leader said,
"what you want me to play?" ♪
Fuck yeah, jereme.
He came in swinging, dude.
He definitely handled some,
Some tricks for us
that we needed to get done.
♪ a little bit of roll
♪ yeah, a little bit of rock
-Oh, my god.
♪ a little bit of roll
Buck naked, pantaloons off,
Like, shaving cream,
Like you know,
he's funny as fuck.
♪
Whoa.
♪
That's fucked up.
Come on, dude, you got to
convince him to do it.
It's 150 points, dude.
He's naked right now.
♪
You got to do it, mike.
I'm having a heart attack,
seriously, dude.
This is it, right here.
Whoa!
Yeah, sherm!
Yes.
Up here, dude.
Man, thank you
for sticking with me.
I do feel good getting points
for the homeys.
I'd like to contribute
as much as I can.
Take the beer
and that funnel over there.
Smyth: It has to be done.
That's 150 points.
Do that butt chug.
Wait, what?
Butt chug?
What does that mean, dude?
-I don't know.
-I'm not chugging anything...
-I just got told.
-...In my butt.
150 points.
Dude, for days.
Easy, you don't even
got to do the whole thing.
It's just, like, fucking --
just like put it on your butt,
It'll fucking come out,
it's easy.
-What?
-I swear, that's the challenge.
Fucking
snap the beer open...
-And...
-...Fucking pull it out.
-Dude, that's crazy.
-I know.
That's really fucking
incriminating.
It's fucking -- they --
it's already been done.
That's why
it's a challenge.
There's other things on here
I don't want to do,
So, whatever.
-Yeah, totally.
Let's get it, dude.
-All right.
-It's quick.
-I'm already naked. Fucking --
I'm already naked is why
I'm gonna do the butt chug.
All right. I don't want
to do it right in here.
-No, no, no.
-Let's go...
Go to you're...
This is going in the...
Yeah, it's mellow.
Fuck, he's already --
He's already naked,
you know, might as well.
So we had to break
out of woodward
And we went and found a spot
to do the deed.
Dude, it's easy.
Lay on your back.
-Lay on my back?
-Yeah...
♪ you're my angel
I think that's the best way
to get it in there.
-Is it?
-Yeah.
Lie on your back and you fucking
hold your legs up
And you fucking just
hold it out.
Yeah, yeah.
Where's carroll at?
We need somebody
to pour the beer in.
I thought
carroll was bringing me...
-Carroll!
-...A beer to actually chug.
I was like, "sure, dude.
Yeah."
-thanks.
A little reward
for working.
Whatever. I'm gonna
put points on the board.
Chug a lug.
Am I...
Maybe -- I think over this side
over here.
Here.
Give me the beer.
Ow. I'm sore and shit.
This is definitely
a weird challenge.
-Tell me when you're ready.
-Yeah, this is
a weird challenge.
You have to lean it back
just a little bit.
-What are doing?
-My back hurts.
-Ah.
-It's like you're stretching.
-There we go.
-Dude.
-Are we ready?
-Yup.
-Are you ready, jereme?
-I mean, as ready as ever.
Oh, dude.
Oh,
dude this beer feels weird.
He took it like a champ, dude.
He -- I should not
use those words.
We really, really appreciated
that jereme. Thank you.
-You're good, bud.
-All right, I'm good.
Good.
-Jereme, you did it.
Like, I'm proud of you.
Take a shower.
That's what we call
a mystery guest right there.
Thank you, jereme.
All right, guys.
Challenge over.
On the next
"king of the road"...
Give me a second to start,
guys.
Count. There he goes.
It's going.
Oh, man.
Yeah!
Yes!
-Fuck, dude.
-Fuck.
They greased the spot.
Are you kidding me?
Oh!
-Oh, we got it.
-Oh.
-You okay?
-Fuck!
Check.
You all right.
Man: Damn, I -- sh-should
someone spot him on that corner?
-Does that count?
-You okay?
---
Please do not attempt
to perform any of these stunts
Or activities in this show,
As they are superdangerous;
crazy, wild-dangerous.
The stunts seen are either
performed by professionals
Or under the supervision
of professionals,
Serious professionals.
This show also contains
bad language.
Fucking that.
It's a dude poodle?
Fuck that!
I say it's just tongue.
And rub its nuts.
Like ah,
-rub its nuts?
Rusty trombone.
-Go all the way, bill.
Might as well, man.
We drove 100 miles
out of the way
To make out
with a poodle.
Do I look okay?
Titties first.
If we don't win,
I'm quitting.
It is rare
For skaters to have
a full-sized poodle.
It's usually a pitbull,
but I don't know
If anybody here would want
to make out with a pitbull.
I'm just gonna sit
right here. Is that okay?
No.
Come on, man.
Help me out, please.
And they were teasing us
on the drive down
That the poodle had boners
waiting for bill.
It's the same as paige.
Definitely didn't kiss back.
So we get here,
the boner's gone.
you got this.
Yuck! Bleh!
Yes?
-I got a tongue.
I swear to god, I got a tongue.
-Yeah!
That counts.
♪ raw oysters, texas pete
♪ sea urchin on the reef
♪ sour cheeseburger bit to eat
♪ lick butter goes with keef
♪ into the cocoa leaf
♪ fresh maggots on my teeth,
they're cheap ♪
♪ oh, baby!
♪ oh, oh oh oh oh
♪ oh, oh oh oh!
♪ oh oh oh
♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh
I'll try it on.
Smyth, you wanna?
-We might be leading.
-Look. Just made it to woodward.
Fuck.
-♪ oh, oh oh oh oh
A little bit.
A little sick, a little tired.
Woodward...West.
Woodward, they have this thing
called the mega ramp,
Which is this giant,
ski-jump-like apparatus
With an oversized quarter pipe
that's easily 2.5 times bigger
Than those big vert ramps
you see on tv.
I'd be willing to bet
this is the first time
The chocolate team has ever even
seen a mega ramp up close,
Much less tried to skate it.
♪
Ah!
Ha ha.
Hell, yeah, eli!
--oh, my god.
The mega ramp's definitely
like a specialized discipline.
Only like, I don't know,
20 people in the world do it.
So, while there are people,
like bob burnquist,
Who can totally
dominate this stuff,
The chocolate team
Hasn't really messed
with a mega ramp before.
This is really, really
big terrain, especially --
Even for raven,
this is big terrain.
What the fuck?
Danny way, colin mckay,
burnquist,
You guys are fucking crazy.
Out of your minds.
This is insane.
Looking at it from up there
And just thinking
about the footage
You've seen of people,
it doesn't even make sense.
♪
Aaaaaaah!
Help me!
Let's get rolling in.
This is the scariest
shit, ever.
♪ different about you
Whoa! Ahh!
Whoa! Oh!
Big couch!
Got a couple of crazy
mega ramp challenges;
One of them is hippie jump
the euro gap,
Jump from your board
onto this board
And then just hit the lip.
-You gotta hit the lip?
-Hit the lip?
-That's so heavy, man.
-What?!
-That's --
-right here big dog.
Yeah!
This could be done;
one and done.
Ohhhhhh!
Ray-ray!
Yeah, ray!
Perform a 4-man
under-over routine
On the big quarter pipe with
at least one dude hitting vert
And one dude
flipping the boards.
♪ until they look vicious
♪ damn! What I gotta say
to get a piece of that? ♪
-Oh, my god!
-Dude. Dude.
That was fucked.
-Yeah.
-It's just timing.
♪
Oh, my god!
Only the top person
has to be at the vert.
Everybody else can be
at the bottom.
We're gonna test one out.
-Get on, baby.
-Good.
Ahhhh!
Right here.
-That's it.
-Exactly how you three
Were just doing it
and raven just --
You guys are nailing it
right now.
I got it right here.
1, 2, 3.
-Go on.
♪
♪ the runway walk ♪
-Ow!
-♪ (na na, na na, na na
♪ -did you grind it?
-Yeah.
-Did you grind?
-Ohhh!
-I didn't grind, but --
-Did you grind it?
-How was that?
Let's get it
with the grind, dude.
Yeah, we got the challenge.
If we could get one
With a grind,
that would be sick.
All right, man,
we're getting the grind!
It's the chocolate team, dude.
-All right, man, you ready?
-Yeah.
Whoa. Wow!
-Yeah.
Dude, that was it
right there.
- Whoo!
- -♪ sardonic synic
♪ suffering from ennui
♪ jaded of irony
♪ and gooey sentimentality
-check this out.
He's gonna do this shit.
Oh, shit.
-Yes!
That's gonna work
so deliciously.
♪
Keep it going, mike.
You got it.
30 stairs, bitch.
-Yeah!
-Ohhhhh!
Yay-ay!
That was a fucking
30-stair bridge!
Hand me a beer.
I got an idea.
Hey, mike, I think it'd be sick
if somebody hands you a beer.
-Chug, chug, chug!
-Adds icing on the cake 'cause
That's two tricks from the book
in one and I think he's got it.
Yeah, mike.
Cold beer!
Yes.
Yeah, dude.
I don't know why you're so mad.
That was hilarious.
Well, dude,
I was fucking chilling.
Mike's getting pissed.
Cheers. Whoo!
Oh, my god!
-Yes!
Stone cold it! Ohh!
Ahhhhh!
-Whoo!
-Yeah-eah!
Sorry I drank
all the beers.
♪
Toy machine.
Watsonville, santa cruz.
Meet up with jason jessee,
complete a special challenge.
It's 200 points.
So we gotta meet up with him
and do this shit.
Yeah.
All right, let's go.
♪
I can't think of one spot
in watsonville.
I can only think of one person
and that person is jason jessee.
Headed into jason's.
Jason jessee was a serious
badass in the late '80s.
He kind of disappeared
in the '90s.
Everybody of my generation
like hung on to him
'cause he was superfunny,
But fucking tough as nails,
and kind of a weirdo, too.
My mind is a garden.
I skateboard,
but I'm an artist.
I love art
and I love you!
Come to me and kiss me.
So we sent the toy machine team
out to his watsonville compound.
I don't know what they're
gonna make of this guy.
Aha, there he is.
-How you doing?
-My name's axel.
-Axel? Rad. Nice to meet you.
Hell, yeah. What's up, billy?
-Nice to meet ya.
-Fuck, yeah.
-Jason, what's up man? Daniel.
Yes. Nice
to meet you, daniel.
Jason jessee, legendary pro.
He's a wild man.
He's great.
-I hope I don't get
Violent diarrhea
'cause of all this pressure.
There's so many fucking people
here right now, it's crazy.
-Owww!
-Watsonville ain't so bad.
-Thanks, man.
-There's nobody out there.
-Very cool.
-It's so chill.
I love watsonville.
It's just a farm and bitching
and there's history.
And there's like a ton
of history.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
I just wanna jump off the edge,
never look back.
We gotta get our challenges,
See what the fuck is going on.
-Okay. You guys, okay.
So, am I supposed to tell you
what we're supposed to do?
We know one of the things.
Oh, about the chickens?
-Wait, what?
We have to do that.
Just catch a chicken
and put it down like that?
No. Hypnotize it.
Ohhh.
We have to hypnotize a chicken.
-Wait, how about we just...?
Let me just get 'em
out here real quick.
Don't let 'em out yet.
-You don't want --
-Okay.
-Let's try not to startle them.
Everybody just chill.
-All right.
Thanks, blake.
Good call, blake.
blake knows
his fucking chickens.
Oh.
Let him talk.
Just let him, let him --
In the house, right where
the kitchen is, up on top,
There's a rooster
that's stuffed.
Can somebody grab him?
Okay, so he's pretty mellow now.
-Okay.
So, basically,
you just have to go like this.
That's about it.
Oh, my god.
This thing is
fucking hectic.
♪
So, basically, that's it
and you gotta be able to --
Hold on. You're gonna scare
the shit out of 'im.
Just set him right here.
-He looks dead.
He's not dead.
Okay, so who wants
to give this a shot?
It's kind of a pain
in the ass, but.
I'll give it a shot for --
can you show me how
To handle him initially?
-Okay, so hold their feet.
So grab his feet?
-Yeah.
-So get his back real quick
And then hold the feet?
-Yeah.
I've never handled
a chicken before.
And then slowly
lower him down here?
Yeah, and then
you wanna spin,
'cause he's gonna
get rowdy on you.
So --
-you just gotta not spaz.
-He is?
-So just, but start spinning.
-Spin it a little.
-Yeah, right in his eye.
Tighter circles.
And then slowly
let go of his legs.
That's an easy 100 points.
Sinclair: Couple more spins.
-Yes.
Just be real gentle.
Like if --
Like if it's a sandwich.
-He's a baby.
I mean, how would you
handle a sandwich?
Gently.
Right?
You gotta be able to stand
up to get the 100 points.
Slowly.
Just keep doing it.
Don't give up.
Don't spaz, either.
All right.
So, yeah, you folded.
Now you -- wait.
Now you wanna get 'im on here.
-Oh, now I gotta get 'im
On there?
-Just for an extra 40 points.
-Okay.
-Try to get 'im up.
-Extra 40, do it.
Like almost
like it's a child.
Okay, let go of his feet
and just hold his body.
Just kind of let him get
to know his buddy's back.
Gross.
Okay, now that is gross,
what you're doing.
I need to do that
to the team every night.
Settle 'em down
right when we're pulling in,
Just fucking just like that.
-Wait. Wait wait wait.
Warning!
Please do not attempt --
Wait. Please do not attempt --
all right.
♪
♪ there ain't
a problem I've got ♪
♪ that the world
don't know about ♪
-Whoo-oo-oo!
-♪ and when I get tied
♪ in knots
-he's fucking insane.
He's lost his goddamn mind.
-For sure.
Owwwww-ooh-hoo! Yeah!
-♪ but now and then
-We have arrived.
-♪ I catch one on my chin
Wanna wait for him?
Okay, okay.
Provost.
-Or axel.
Since the good-old days
of california,
They've been
building pools out there,
So there's some big, wide-open
pools from like the '50s.
This spot's epic.
Two-trick line on the ledge
and then roll in right here.
And then a corner air.
♪
Oh!
Axel's fucking bad
as fuck.
What the baryshnikov?
Did you see the push?
-Yeah.
It was, that was what nailed it.
Like fuck, yeah,
That push was amazing;
it was delicate.
It was fucking delicate,
but fierce.
♪
Whah!
-Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Whoa.
Fuck, yes.
Shit!
Hey, does that feel
more comfortable?
-I don't know.
-It might.
It's so clean.
It feels good.
-Fuck.
-Ha!
Okay, 100 points
and 6 bucks.
--you got this.
- Whoo-oo!
-Yeah, steve.
-That was so good. Oh, yeah.
Fuck.
Winded, heavywinded.
So that, that
qualified for...?
That qualifies easily.
That frontside air qualifies.
I got 6 bucks for you, too.
-All right.
-You bet.
Okay, watch out.
Whoo-oo-oo!
Whoo!
Yeah! Yeah!
♪
That was insane.
Holy shit.
We're following jason jessee
to grandpa's pool.
None of us know what that is,
but it sounds cool.
Nice.
Wow.
If you think you show up
to the pool with no snacks
On "king of the road,"
think again.
You don't do that.
-Trainee law.
But you're never the first
dude out of the van.
Just always back here,
snacking.
Oh, fuck.
Wha-a-t?!
Okay, so the challenge here is
a trick over the snowplow
And the death box
at the same time.
So, basically,
over this and this.
♪
Oh, shit.
Blake went down
on his first try.
I call it.
Agh!
I think billy
might be setting up
To ollie off the top
of the van.
I'm not sure what he's doing.
-All right.
Go, bill!
-Bill!
-That's it.
-Owwwww!
Yeah, bill. I like how
you're thinking, bud.
Yes.
Done. It's a nice 30.
-Oh, nice.
-Yeah axel.
Hmm.
He's got this.
Whoo-oo-oo-oo!
-♪ to this girl next door
This challenge is now completed.
But we're not done.
We're still going.
We're having a good time here.
Ow! Whoo-hoo!
It's exciting.
It's a wrap.
Well, it's a wrap
and full of strawberries.
Oh!
Damn. I'm already having
separation anxiety.
--I don't wanna go.
I don't want you guys
to go, yet.
Lutheran: Good to see you, man.
Cheers.
Thanks for everything.
Appreciate the hospitality
-Take care.
-Bye.
So, we finished up
with jason jessee,
Knocked out all
of his challenges.
Everybody did good;
everybody had a great time.
Now we gotta go
maybe get some power tools
And make this
mark gonzales board,
So we got a lot
of shit to do.
--first, we gotta eat,
So we can do it
on a full stomach.
-"first, we gotta eat"!
-Yep.
♪
Fresno is straight
"grapes of wrath" country.
It's in california's
central valley,
Where most of the food
in america is grown,
But it's just like a dusty,
hot, harsh, cowboy town.
In skateboarding, it's famous
for having a lot of pools
'cause there's a lot
of derelict properties.
The latino culture
there is superbig
And even vaquero culture,
which is like the cowboys,
Still really
going strong in fresno.
We wanted them
to look the part,
So we sent them to el caporal,
An awesome, family-owned,
western-wear store
Right there
in the heart of fresno.
♪
Oh, I'm feeling
that white hat right there.
♪ in the corner,
at the table ♪
♪ by the jukebox
-I want something supershiny.
28.
These are gonna be good.
These are gonna be
so tight.
We are el caporal western wear.
We specialize, more or less,
in the modern western look.
Where do you see the sizes?
-♪ in the corner
♪ at the table
♪ by the jukebox
-this one's good.
She's talking
about shaping the hats.
Shaping them?
-Dude, let's just get the shit
And go.
-I know.
They're, they're getting
crazy with it.
♪ and you'll sure find me
Burnett: Heath totally
will be into this
Because he's
a sharp-dressed man.
He's never cared about looking
like the rest of the guys.
Mike davis, he's always been
one cowboy hat away
From working on the ranch.
I'm feeling good.
I kinda like this.
A new look for me.
I'm gonna try it on.
-Go get your pants on, dude.
♪ in the corner
-draw!
-♪ at the table
-you look like
John travolta's sidekick.
-♪ by the jukebox
They feel good,
I look good,
- and so we're good to go.
♪
Oh, trem.
Saddle up, cowboy.
♪
Mace.
What up, bud?
Rick howard and mike carroll
Are the owners
of girl skateboards.
They're our
friends/bosses/legends.
Mike carroll and rick howard
are not only skate legends,
But they're kind of
these guy's bosses.
It's kind of like
"oh, shit, the boss is here.
I better skate."
Carroll came in there
like mr. Coach, you know,
Like make sure everyone's
like doing
What they need to be doing and
then rick was just all smiles.
♪
These are the guys
that put jereme rogers
On the team way back when
and those guys kind of have
A special
holdover relationship.
Even if I cared, they're still
gonna call me sperm,
Or sherm, like a fucking kid.
I'm 30 are they're "hey,
what's up, sperm?" you know.
We're superstoked
they're here.
♪
Tight.
-Justin, let's do this!
-All right.
Oh, shit!
-Longform bike.
How was that feeling?
This feeling sucks.
Swing it, dude.
Stay in your squat.
Kid just -- kid looks bad.
Oh, that's easy.
Come on, let's do this!
-Whip it, dude!
Whip? Yeah, I'm just
gonna fucking whip it!
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
-Whoo!
-That counts?
Fuck yeah, that counts.
Yeah, that was it.
-Dude, you got the --
-fuck, yeah.
yeah!
Lock that shit tight.
-We're out here
In the heart of fresno,
about to do a switch trey
With some good ol' copenhagen
in my mouth.
♪
Ah, chew, I tried chew
once in my life.
I fucking threw up.
The shit's really gnarly.
It gross.
There we go, man.
-Pack that shit in there.
-Mm-hmm.
-Oh, yeah.
yeah!
♪ can't forget
about what used to be ♪
♪ be happy with
the way life is ♪
♪ not think about
what once was his ♪
-Oh-ho-ho!
-♪ whiskey drunk
Holy shit,
that was so good.
♪ I'm taking your midnight run
-wow. That was jacked.
That chew, dude.
Oh, just like in
my fucking throat.
It's like burning
the shit out of it.
All right, let's move, dudes.
-Thank you.
♪
Beautiful fresno, california.
My first time.
-Bam.
-Wow.
-This is a fucking
Bug pool to grind.
-This is kind of fucking gnarly.
What --
-oh, shit! All right. Next one.
--dude, the heel pads
On these things
make it hard.
Yeah, this thing's
weird, man.
♪
Oh, my.
-Ohhh!
-Yeah, rhino.
I'd be scared, dude.
-Oh, yeah.
-Whoo!
Let's go!
All right man,
I got 20 on this one.
Yeah, aaron.
-20?
-Yeah.
-Rhino.
-Ohhh!
-Yeah-eah!
-All right.
-20 bucks.
-Yeah. Fuck, yeah, rhino.
-Hell, yeah.
-Gimme that money!
-Yeah.
Fuck, yeah.
Goddamn 50-year-old catching
and coping in a pool.
-Good?
-Yep.
Let's get it.
Good work, boys.
♪
♪
So whose boards and who's down
To let, let their boards go?
-Mine.
-Oh, yeah, take mine.
-You only have one, right?
-Yeah.
-And mine, too.
-Take my board.
-And then we need fez's board.
-Ahem!
-Drinks are over there.
Mine's right there, mike,
under your foot.
Damn, dude, I like that board,
but whatever.
♪
We need
a couple more, huh?
They did it with 10.
-Yeah.
Mark gonzales is the
pablo picasso of skateboarding.
He helped invent
modern street skating.
♪
He's definitely eccentric.
I do the tricks,
not you!
And, uh, he's
consistently regarded
As the greatest skateboarder
of all times.
Oh, mark gonzales,
your brain.
The gonz circle board,
it was kind of more of like a,
A, piece of art than any sort of
functional, rideable equipment.
Basically, mark gonzales
got 10 or so boards
And screwed them end-to-end
To make this perfectly circular
skateboard loop.
Perfect height.
I've never seen the gonz circle
board live and in person.
From what I can tell,
it's really, really heavy
And really unstable.
I hope it's a good time
for these guys,
But, it's a wobbly beast.
Well, I guess we'll
see how they do.
Gotta be a --
Damn, dude, that's crazy.
It's fricking hard, dude.
It looks easy, you know.
It just looks like
a circle of skateboards,
But it is not
fucking easy to ride.
-Yeah.
-What, what do you guys want
To do?
-Go to the --
Yes!
Whoa!
♪ whoo! Well, the sun
ain't shining ♪
♪ it's a dark and cloudy day ♪
♪
♪ well, the sun ain't shining
-oh, he's doing it.
♪ it's dark and cloudy day ♪
Oh, oh.
♪ well, it might as well stop
'cause my baby just gone away ♪
♪
♪ well, she packed up
her bags ♪
♪ and she threw 'em
on the 2:19 ♪
♪
♪ well, she packed up
her bags ♪
♪ and she threw 'em
on the 2:19 ♪
♪
♪ that train won't stop
♪ 'til it's rolling
into new orleans ♪
♪
♪ express yourself back home
♪ I can't make love alone
♪ express yourself back home
♪ before I scream and moan
♪ oh, mama, I'm in misery
-yes.
That was fucking --
-♪ get your booty
♪ on home to me
-I almost got decapitated, dude.
Holy shit, dude.
It feels like
it'll chop you in half,
If it lands on you, you know.
Wha-bam!
♪
Yeah!
-Whoo-oo-ooh!
Ye-e-e-s!
Right there!
-♪ well, the boss keep
Yeah-eah-eah-eah!
♪ oh, mama, I'm in misery
♪ get your booty
on home to me ♪
Yikes!
-Jesus christ!
You okay, dude?
Yeah.
-1, 2, fuck my life, 3.
I mean, did you guys
not talk about
That back truck hanging up?
Is that what happened,
the back truck went off?
Yeah, that's
what I was saying earlier.
This truck is already
In hangup position
on the top of the coping,
So you have to take one
of the trucks off,
So you don't hang up
when you drop in,
But pretty much I went to drop
in and just didn't go anywhere
And just went straight
to the flat.
The boards came
down on top of me.
It was -- it was terrible.
So, who's up next?
Yikes.
-I'll try it for eli.
-Grabbing on --
-get inside.
-Do it.
-Ow.
♪
Yes.
-Was that 4 feet?
-No, but that's --
Wha-a-t?!
Hell, dude!
Right here, that's 4 feet.
If anybody has
a problem with that,
They can come talk to...
-Phelps.
The ambassador/counselor
said 4 feet.
All right, somebody unscrew
my board; I wanna skate.
Officer, it's cool.
It's a gons board.
Yikes.
-Whew!
Got it cowboy?
-Yeah.
Yeah!
Oh!
♪
All right, I'm ready
when you are.
- yeah-oh!
Whoo!
Fuck, yeah.
Dude, that was scary.
I'm like this --
Let's go fucking
grind a curb.
♪
Oh!
Oh, my god.
Yeah, clive!
Ohhhhhhh!
-Yeah.
-Ohhhhh!
Yeah, clive.
He just did it.
-Yeah!
-Fuck, yeah.
Okay.
-Here we go.
♪
Yeah, axel.
It's fucking sketchy.
-I'll go up there
And see hot it is, but.
-I'll stand on one.
-Let's see how scary it is.
-Was that sketchy?
Fuck it. I'll try one.
All right.
I'll -- I got you, man.
You think it just goes
kind of normal?
Can, can go normal.
Who knows?
All right,
3, 2, 1, go.
Oh, my god!
Fuck it. I'll try one.
All right.
I'll -- I got you, man.
All right,
3, 2, 1, go.
Holy shit.
-God!
What the hell?
I'm good, but.
Holy smokes.
Jeez.
-Whew!
-Who's next?
-I can try.
Yeah.
I'm not trying again.
-No.
-Sorry, bros.
I'm outta that one.
Oh, my god!
-That's fricking sick.
-What the...?
-Ohhh!
Are they fucking
kidding me?
Oh.
oh, my god.
What in the fuck?! Yo!
-"oh, my god, jaws!"
-Is that what he's saying?
-"hey, everyone, clint walker."
Guys --
-I can't believe it.
-Jaws is for the kids!
No one even says anything about
my sickass cowboy uniform.
Heath, are you willing
to try it?
♪
Toby heath.
-Toby heath.
Oh, my god.
It was pretty dangerous.
Yeah, yeah.
Kudos to mark gonzales.
♪
First, heath.
♪
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Oh, fuck.
-Aw, fuck it.
That was sick!
They're not nearly as fun
as they look.
Oh!
-Oh.
-Oh.
-Fuck!
-You all right?
-That was hectic.
He's like fucking
zeus, shirtless.
♪ do, do you
♪ do you, do you like my
-Ye-e-e-e-e-s!
-Whoo!
Fuck, yeah!
The bad truck
kept hanging up and so,
Once we took,
got rid of that one,
Then it, then it was easy.
Hey -- did he...?
-Whoo!
-Hell, yeah.
Toby heath, everybody.
Hey, let's take it
down that 4-stair.
We'll take it
to the 4-stair.
- all right.
Ohhhhh!
Ohh.
- yeah, we're good.
-Wow.
-Oh, shit.
We're good, but I might
be over that one.
Ohhh! Dude.
Fucking okay, guy.
Skateboard.
I got traffic,
for sure.
This is fucking
insane, dude.
All right!
Fuck it.
Yeah, let's go.
Hey -- oh!
Oh, fuck!
You got that, jaws.
-Yeah, all right. Ready.
-I got next one.
-All right.
♪ open road with them
streetlights on ♪
Yeah!
-That's it.
-Fuck it!
-That was amazing.
You got this.
♪
Yeah! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Ooh-whee! Whoo-oo-oo!
-Hey.
-Thanks, guys.
Fuck, yeah.
Do it.
Shit!
Got my board back.
Goddamn.
Hey, dude, just one second.
Just one second.
It'll make my night
so much easier.
-No.
-Just you gotta move lips.
Like no tongue, like you don't
have to do any tongue.
Just like move the lips.
Move the lips.
Ha ha. Give 'im
some tongue, man.
All right, ready?
Like 1, 2.
♪ all the
-ready?
♪ good times
-♪ go, go, go
♪ thrasher man, go, go, go, go
-whoo-oo-oo!
-♪ we shared together
-♪ go, go, thrasher man
♪ go, go, thrasher man
-whoo-oo-oo!
♪ all the good times
Thank you, ladies.
♪ that we had
♪ what went wrong
♪ is a wonder
-Ohhhh.
-♪ now that you've gone
♪ and walked out forever
-whoo-oo!
Yeah!
♪ oh, baby, one more
-hi, what's your name?
-♪ lonely night
-uh, my name is michael.
Michael. Nice to meet
you. Trisha.
Nice to meet you.
-♪ this feeling ain't right
♪ without your love
-wee-ooh!
-Yeah!
-Heck, yes.
Thank you so much.
♪ oh, baby,
one more lonely night ♪
I'll help you out.
♪ oh, this feeling
ain't right ♪
Am I gonna be on the news?
I hope so.
♪ without your love
♪
♪ without your love
-oh!
♪ don't know
what's the reason ♪
-Ahhhhh!
-Perfect. Yes.
You got it right here.
♪ we're not together
Ohhhh!
-♪ but that old feeling
-Yoo!
-Yeah!
♪ is stronger
♪ than ever
♪ for the last time
♪ I saw your face
He's so
fried-looking.
A diaper.
It looks like sticker diaper.
- Excellent.
Oh, my god.
♪ one more lonely night
♪ oh, this feeling
ain't right ♪
Do I look okay?
♪ without your love
I hope they let me in.
♪ without your love
♪ ohhhhh!
Is there a room
on the name
Axel cruysberghs?
-♪ we stayed together
♪ all those good times
♪ good times that we had
-second floor?
Okay. Thanks, man.
Finally.
-♪ tell me, what went wrong?
♪ without your love
♪ ahhh
♪
Oh. Oh.
Owww!
right there.
Oh, fuck,
that was so perfect.
Whatever.
Ah.
That's good.
-That looked quite good.
Wasn't it?
Oh, you need -- oh. You were --
-what?
Okay, I,
I stay down, then.
Yes.
-Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
♪
Let me know if you want
some help, jer.
It's on, baby.
Whew!
Jereme's covered
in shaving cream.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
-Baby.
-What the fuck?
This is as much as I could
cover this thing up.
Yo, put more shaving
cream on, jereme!
He fucking rips, man,
And he's down for the crazy
shit, crazy challenges.
He's down.
-oh, my god.
♪ a little bit of rock
-good job.
♪ a little bit of roll
-Yeah, you got it, j-rod.
-♪ a little bit of rock
I think clothes have just
been weighing me down
This whole time, rick.
-oh, my god, dude.
♪ a little bit of rock,
a little bit of roll ♪
That's a nice shell
right there.
When I first saw jereme
walking down the stairs,
I was kind of just like,
"does this dude even skate,
you know?"
♪ swinging right
♪ having a ball
on Saturday night ♪
♪ band leader said,
"what you want me to play?" ♪
Fuck yeah, jereme.
He came in swinging, dude.
He definitely handled some,
Some tricks for us
that we needed to get done.
♪ a little bit of roll
♪ yeah, a little bit of rock
-Oh, my god.
♪ a little bit of roll
Buck naked, pantaloons off,
Like, shaving cream,
Like you know,
he's funny as fuck.
♪
Whoa.
♪
That's fucked up.
Come on, dude, you got to
convince him to do it.
It's 150 points, dude.
He's naked right now.
♪
You got to do it, mike.
I'm having a heart attack,
seriously, dude.
This is it, right here.
Whoa!
Yeah, sherm!
Yes.
Up here, dude.
Man, thank you
for sticking with me.
I do feel good getting points
for the homeys.
I'd like to contribute
as much as I can.
Take the beer
and that funnel over there.
Smyth: It has to be done.
That's 150 points.
Do that butt chug.
Wait, what?
Butt chug?
What does that mean, dude?
-I don't know.
-I'm not chugging anything...
-I just got told.
-...In my butt.
150 points.
Dude, for days.
Easy, you don't even
got to do the whole thing.
It's just, like, fucking --
just like put it on your butt,
It'll fucking come out,
it's easy.
-What?
-I swear, that's the challenge.
Fucking
snap the beer open...
-And...
-...Fucking pull it out.
-Dude, that's crazy.
-I know.
That's really fucking
incriminating.
It's fucking -- they --
it's already been done.
That's why
it's a challenge.
There's other things on here
I don't want to do,
So, whatever.
-Yeah, totally.
Let's get it, dude.
-All right.
-It's quick.
-I'm already naked. Fucking --
I'm already naked is why
I'm gonna do the butt chug.
All right. I don't want
to do it right in here.
-No, no, no.
-Let's go...
Go to you're...
This is going in the...
Yeah, it's mellow.
Fuck, he's already --
He's already naked,
you know, might as well.
So we had to break
out of woodward
And we went and found a spot
to do the deed.
Dude, it's easy.
Lay on your back.
-Lay on my back?
-Yeah...
♪ you're my angel
I think that's the best way
to get it in there.
-Is it?
-Yeah.
Lie on your back and you fucking
hold your legs up
And you fucking just
hold it out.
Yeah, yeah.
Where's carroll at?
We need somebody
to pour the beer in.
I thought
carroll was bringing me...
-Carroll!
-...A beer to actually chug.
I was like, "sure, dude.
Yeah."
-thanks.
A little reward
for working.
Whatever. I'm gonna
put points on the board.
Chug a lug.
Am I...
Maybe -- I think over this side
over here.
Here.
Give me the beer.
Ow. I'm sore and shit.
This is definitely
a weird challenge.
-Tell me when you're ready.
-Yeah, this is
a weird challenge.
You have to lean it back
just a little bit.
-What are doing?
-My back hurts.
-Ah.
-It's like you're stretching.
-There we go.
-Dude.
-Are we ready?
-Yup.
-Are you ready, jereme?
-I mean, as ready as ever.
Oh, dude.
Oh,
dude this beer feels weird.
He took it like a champ, dude.
He -- I should not
use those words.
We really, really appreciated
that jereme. Thank you.
-You're good, bud.
-All right, I'm good.
Good.
-Jereme, you did it.
Like, I'm proud of you.
Take a shower.
That's what we call
a mystery guest right there.
Thank you, jereme.
All right, guys.
Challenge over.
On the next
"king of the road"...
Give me a second to start,
guys.
Count. There he goes.
It's going.
Oh, man.
Yeah!
Yes!
-Fuck, dude.
-Fuck.
They greased the spot.
Are you kidding me?
Oh!
-Oh, we got it.
-Oh.
-You okay?
-Fuck!
Check.
You all right.
Man: Damn, I -- sh-should
someone spot him on that corner?
-Does that count?
-You okay?