King of the Road (2016-…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Possible Broken Cheekbone - full transcript

A hippie makeover, pole dancing and Raven gets busted up on a dirt bike.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
Please do not attempt to perform
any of these stunts

Or activities in this show.

They are super dangerous,
crazy, wild, dangerous.

The stunts seen are either
performed by professionals

Or under the supervision
of professionals,

Serious professionals.

This show also
contains bad language.



Case:
Legendary portland spot.

Few people have tried it.
It's never been done.

Jaws is about to conquer.



That shit's fucked.

Hey, fuck it.
I'm gonna do it.

Man:
You have first try, dude.

Give me the connection,
like this.

Like this.

No, no, no.
Fingers in the middle.

You have to do it.
You're on the session.

All right, let's go.

All right. Later!

-You got this, dawg!
-Fuckin' do it!

♪ just to slow down

Homoki: Fuck!

-All right.
Right here. Right here.

Man: Yes, dude.
You got that, easy.



Man: Hold up, hold up.
You got it?

♪ just to slow down

♪ I have precision

-Yeah!
-[ laughs ]

Homoki: All right,
let's fuckin' do this.

Let's fuckin' do this!
Whoo!



[ cheers and applause ]

Man: Yeah!

♪ raw oysters, texas pete

♪ sea urchin on the reef

♪ sour cheeseburger
man: Oh!

♪ bit to eat

♪ lick butter goes with keef
man: Oh!

♪ into the cocoa leaf

♪ fresh maggots on my teeth
aah!
Aah!

♪ they're cheap

♪ oh, baby



Whoo!



Ouch.



We got 31 days clean and sober
in a day.

Right now,
I'm like one city ahead of them.

It's kind of been weird to,
like, be behind the scenes.

Like, yesterday, I drove
and parked across the street

Like some sort of creep
and watched them do a challenge.

[ chuckles ]

So I'm giving them
their city challenges right now.

Sinclair: Hey, guys,
we got the city challenges.

Challenge number 1.

Read them off.

Lutheran:
Challenge number 1 --

Eugene, grateful shred.

Go out to jambo world craft

For everyone to get their
authentic eugene makeover.

Sinclair:
Yeah, jambo, bill.

Marks: Hello.
Came to get our outfits.

Drug rug ponchos,
tie-dyes, new shirts, pants,

And accessories for everyone.

Wear them for the duration
of your stay in eugene.

Burnett: Everybody on the team's
got to get something.

We even picked out
a special pink tie-dye

For big pink,
mike sinclair.

I look like a human-size
now or later.

Man: [ laughs ]

Daniel and collin
shouldn't be a problem.

They're gonna fit right in.

This is my size.

Heavy kit, dude.

[ laughs ]

Burnett: Axel, I don't know

If they have this in germany,

But he's gonna find out.

Axel's
looking pretty normal.

And then billy --

Billy always wears
fucked-up gear,

So this is --
this is perfect for him.

-Dude, this is comfy.
-Check this out.

Crane:
And we put some patchouli oil
on there for you guys.

Man:
Oh, so kind of you.
But we've got a --

We've got a bottle
for you to put on.

Mmm.
I can smell it from here.

-[ inhales sharply ]
-[ laughs ]

Man:
Oh, my. That is too funny.

[ laughter ]

Sinclair:
Hang on, you guys.

"hippie jump
five different obstacles,

Including an actual hippie."

Should we go get the lady?
-Yeah, if you want.

Sinclair: Let's do it.

[ knock on door ]

You think we could borrow you
for a minute?

Oh, yeah, these guys
are professionals.

Some of them.

This guy --
never trust this guy.

Give me the best one.
Okay.

[ laughs ]
hey, axel.

All right, we're gonna
put you right here.

Crane: Like that?
Yep.

[ drumming ]



Whoo!

One more, one more!



Lutheran: Hell yeah.
Thank you so much.

Namaste.

I don't know
if I'm gonna change,

Even when
we leave the city.



Man:
What's up, brother?

Walker: Heard you got
some goodies for us.

Homoki:
Yeah, let me, uh...

Let me see
where I stashed it.

City challenge is
set up a stripper pole

In our hotel room

And have a dance off
with a stripper.

Well, it looks like this
what you're gonna be wearing.

-Nice!
-Whoa! Good call!

Oh, there's two of them.

Thank you for the supplies.



So, you have to strip
with the stripper?

I don't know.

[ crashing ]
-uh-oh. Pull over!

♪ faster than it has before

♪ you know that feeling of
trying, trying, and trying ♪



♪ you want to take it slow

Walker: Oh, shit.
Our stripper pole flew off.

All the pieces are scattered
along the freeway right here,

So they're trying
to pick up pieces

Without getting
ran over.

♪ flying, flying, and flying

Man:
That one's a little fucked.

We'll have to figure out
what to do about that, but...

Can't forget the dvd.



Case: Ooh.
Look at that fucked-up car.

-That's a tough hood to get on.
-Right?

Man: Oh, now you got it already.
How it is.

♪ waking up

♪ and hit the ground running

Man: Yeah.

-Wow.
-So cool.

♪ keep on flowing

♪ you're leaving town

Man: Whoo! [ whistles ]

-Fuck yeah.
-Fuck yeah.





-Whoa.
-Slide?

Man:
The longest boardslide.

That's a long way to go.

It's like a good
13-second slide.

♪ I wish I had a choice

♪ not thinking about tomorrow

Man: Yeah.

-Oh!
-Whoo!

Man: Yes!

♪ boys with shadows

Oh, my god!

Boy's going fast.

Fuck.

Man: There it is.

-Oh.
-Whoo-hoo!

Berle: [ laughs ]

Ugh!



[ shouting ]

Oh, my god!

Fuckin' tree was in my way,
dude.

I had to get that thing
out of there.

Vitetta: Hey, sammy,
bring it back home.

Like, christmas is coming.

Don't let the stress of
"king of the road" get to you.



-Can you come over to this side?
-Sorry.

[ laughs ]
oh, that's a possible
makeout right there, huh?

Wheatley:
Hey, what's up?

Good. How are you?

You're over 30, right?
[ laughs ]

Yeah, totally.
[ laughs ]

Here's a crazy question.

Would you possibly
like a kiss?

Sure. Of course.
You got -- oh, my god.

Raven, come here.

-Hey, ra, she's cute, dude.
-Yeah.

Don't worry.
He's pretty good-looking.

Are you raven?

♪ oh
all right!

Tershy:
What's your name?
I'm carol.

Carol, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

[ laughs ]

Oh, well.



All right.



♪ that's right



♪ come on, boy

-Wow!
-All right.

So, there's my birthday.

Wheatley: Hold on one second.
I'm gonna focus on that.

You're the best.

-All right, all right.
-Thank you. [ laughing ]

Wheatley:
She was born in 1949.

So she's 65?

Nah! '49, dude?

Yeah, I filmed it.

Vitetta:
Can I make out, as well?
[ laughs ]

-Now. 'cause I'm horny.
-[ laughs ]



Wheatley:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

-Oh!
-What?

Man: Fuck yeah!

Holy shit!

-Yeah!
-Hell yeah.

Smyth: Yes!

Fuck this thing,
dude.

-You ruined my whole life.
-You're a savage.

Yes.

Case:
36, 37, 38, 39, 40.

102 feet, motherfuckers.



Tell me how many of these
I can destroy.



Man: All right!
Do it, baby!



[ all cheering ]

Yeah, yeah!
Aah!

Man: [ laughs ]
yes.



These are the twins,
gabe and ben luna.

-What's up, guys?
-What's up, dude?

They grew up skating together.
Identical twins.



And they're gonna
kickflip for us.



-You okay?
-Yeah.

[ groans ]



[ all cheering ]



Oh!

Walker: We're trying to get
makeouts with mike.

Woman: Oh, where's mike?

Mike's right there
in the black.

He's trying a trick now.
-A makeout.



[ all cheering ]

[ all shouting ]

-Fuck yeah.
-Whoo!

For the thrasher?
Sure.

Ben will hook you up with
a little weed or whatever.

Sure.
Cool.

All right, thank you.



[ all cheering ]

All right, thank you.
Fuck yeah.

Who did it?
-Clint.

Yes!

Davis:
Fuck yeah, clint.

This is jerrica.

She's my ex-girlfriend.

She's gonna help us out
with a couple challenges.

Fuck yeah.

Man:
All right, go.

-Do it.
-Yeah! Let's do it!

Hey, show us your tits.

Can we get them?
-Yeah, show us your boobs.

[ all cheering ]
yeah! Fuck yeah!

Yeah! Hell yeah!

Do you want
to go to dinner now?

All right,
I'll bring the hook-up.

Follow us.

Man: Love you.
You're fucking gorgeous.

-Cool boobs, girl.
-Cool boobs.



Man:
Don't be a dick, aaron.

Homoki: I just always wondered
what it would be like

To be on
a fuckin' reality show.
On a tv show.

'cause my parents
used to watch

That "survivor" show
all the time.

Man: Wait, wait, wait.
Is that a team right there?

That's a team right there.

Cake! Cake!
-What the fuck is that?

-Oh, fuck!
-Oh, oh, you got to film it.

Get the camera.
-That's our mission.

What are you
trying to say?

You're betraying
your actual reality?

"survivor" people

And the fuckin' reality shows
are pussies.

And we just...

[ chuckles ]
we're good.

Man: He's just getting
spiced up out here?

We just get spiced up
every day.

-Get the cake.
-I've got the cake.

-You got the cake? Okay.
-That's fucking birdhouse?

-Okay, birdhouse?
-Where is the birdhouse?

-Okay, okay.
-Hey, spide, just gun it.

But who's gonna throw it
from where?

Every day, just a little bit
more spice to the lungs

Till my fuckin' lungs
turn to raisins.

You wanna get high?

Man: I got so high,
I forgot how to count.

[ indistinct conversations ]

[ tires screech ]

-Oh!
-Oh, my god. Dude.

Man: How much cake do we need?
How much cake do we need?

Like all of it.
[ tires screech ]

-Oh!
Oh, my god. Dude.

-Oh, shit!
-Watch out!

Smyth:
Get in there, chocolate!

-Let's do it.
-Let's get them anyway!

-Let's do it anyways.
-Let's get them anyways!

Man: [ laughs ]

Nope.
Open the van! Open!

No, dawg.
They just got in a crash.

Get in the van,
get in the van.

You guys blew it!

Damn.
That was a gnarly hit.

Vitetta:
It's totally our fault, dude.

Hey.
You guys hear that?

You guys just blew it.
-[ laughing ]

-Oh, my god.
-Is he calling the cops?

-That was insane.
-Ah, fucking sam.

Good one!

Oh, my god.
That is so funny.

Hi. Um, I need to report

A little fender bender,
car accident.

Walker:
All right, come on, mike.

All right, let's do it.
Yeah.

-Go.
-All right.

Yeah, they're going
three on one.

I like that.
-[ laughs ]

Yes!

[ laughter ]

All right.
I think that works.

That worked pretty well.

Dude, raven, you're way
better looking than he is.

Get in there, man.

Dude, that's how you get them
out here, though, for sure.

[ air hissing ]

I think they're just chilling,
just looking.

I don't think
they can even see elijah.

Elijah just did some shit.

-Dude, look.
-They're coming.

-Yeah, they're coming.
-There's clive.

Vitetta: Watch out!
[ whistles ]

Watch out,
watch out, brother!

-Ha ha!
-Got it! Got it!

-Did it get him?
-You got it!

Live from el burrito loco,
number 3, mexican food,

Here we have proof of evidence

There was
an homicide with cakes.

The challenge --

Hit the opponent
from the van with a cake.

Here we go. We got it.

Vitetta: Keep going.
He's got a flat tire, dude.

-I ain't worried about nothing.
-I got a fork.

Case: Hey, I need somebody
to go move it.

I need somebody
to go move it.

Squid, squid.
-Squid, yeah.

Check the tires,
and if they're not flat,

Back it up.
And if you want,

We'll throw this coke
straight at their face.

Vitetta: So they sent
somebody else outside.

Who's that guy?

That's not --
that's not fair.

Hey, hey,
what don't you understand

About getting in
the fucking van?

-All right, well, let's go.
-Let's get the fuck out of here.



Man: Whoo!

Sinclair: Whoa, blake.

Easy.

Easy, bud.



The challenge at this spot is,

Basically, any two tricks
in a row,

Not a 50/50,
not a boardslide.

So, basically, anything
but an absolute basic.

Billy wanted to do it,

But his legs
are kind of burnt right now

'cause he's the oldest.

He gets tired the easiest.

So I think axel and blake
are the youngest here,

So I think
they're gonna tackle it.

It shouldn't take them long.



Man: Whoa!

Sinclair: Axel, that's one down.
Two to go.



Man: Whoo!



Whoo!

Righteous.

Sinclair: And we're done.

Dan lu.
Lutheran: Yo.

-What about
a nice little salad...
A salad?

...Or a front tail?
Um, maybe a front tail.

Little front tail?
Yeah,
I'll try a front tail.



Sinclair: Ohh!

Oh! Come out forward.
Dan lu, you got it.

Really?
Ever.

I can probably
do it now, but...

Well,
let's see you do it.

Not rignow.
I mean, like...

Bill is trying to tell us

That if he was
skating right now,

He would've already done it.

No, I didn't say that.
'cause he's that good.

I would've waited
for a different rail.

You can't postpone
on "king of the road."

That's the whole thing.
You postponed how much shit?

Let's see.
Getting wood, roadkill.

I couldn't turn around, man.
It a was dangerous highway.

Oh, oh.
You postponed it.

There will be
another dead squirrel,

Another dead possum.

Postponed titties.

He hasn't driven over 50
the whole trip.
I said --

Going 85 down
the fuckin' freeway

To ditch these chicks...

From seattle to portland,
the speed limit is 30.

You're fuckin' blowing it,
mike.
[ laughs ]



[ cheers and applause ]
man: Yeah!

Mark it.

-Yes!
-Yeah.

Yo, mark it in the book.

20 points.
20 points.



Man: Oh, we're in there, dude.
This thing is tight.

Walker: How many dudes does it
take to spin a stripper pole?

-Oh.
-No, no, we're good.

Walker: We're in there.

-We did it! Yeah, clint!
-Oh, shit.

That's fuckin' teamwork.

Let's put it on the roof.

-Whoo!
[ laughs ]

Man: Dude.

Whoo!



[ all cheering ]

Fuck yes!

-Yeah, baby!
-Might not be pretty, but...

Man: Hey, it didn't have
to be pretty, baby.

That was ins-- dude, tying
a tie, manualing, first try.

That's a suave motherfucker
right there.

All right,
so it's -- it's 10:00.

We got to stop by,
pick up like a 100 ones,

And then do our last
city challenge

Of a stripper dance-off
between jaws and our stripper.

It's gonna be
fuckin' hilarious.

It's gonna be fun.
Mm-hmm.

Cruysberghs: So, wait.

We need to get a combo on this,
right?

Yes. We need a combo.
You're exactly right.

We need a 50-pointer
right now.

Today's been slow
because of the drive.

I don't even know
how to say his name.

It's axel...
Marks: Crusher.

Axel crusher is what we call
him, but it's cruysberghs.

You're gonna have
to ask him his name.
No, that's not how it is.

It's...
Axel "cruxenberg."

Cruysberghs.
Cruys--

Cruysberghs.
Axel cruysberghs.

You got to ask him.

I don't know how to
fuckin' say his name.

I just know he rips.

-You got it.
-Whoo!

Go ahead.

Axel!

-Oh!
-Whoo!

-He's an animal.
-Yeah, baby.

"pump up the jam."

If he hears that,
he'll get hyped right now.

I promise you.

Let's get this going, mike.

[ technotronic's
"pump up the jam" plays ]

Pump it up!

♪ pump up the jam,
pump it up ♪

♪ while you feet are stompin'

♪ and the jam is pumpin'

♪ look at here,
the crowd is jumpin' ♪
[ all cheering ]

♪ pump it up a little more

♪ get the party
going on the dance floor ♪

Straight to the interview.

Axel, how did that feel?

Tell me how it felt.

It was cool, yeah.

♪ ...A place to stay

♪ get your booty
on the floor tonight ♪

♪ make my day
sinclair: Hey, axel.

I need you to say your name
into the camera...

Oh, no.
...The correct way.

Yes.
Axel cruysberghs.

Cruysberghs.

Cruysberghs.

I can't spell that shit,
but I got 50 points on it.

Hey, thanks for that music,
bill.

Yeah.
That hyped me up.

Yeah?
Yeah.

♪ I don't want

♪ a place to stay

♪ get your booty
on the floor tonight ♪

♪ make my day
[ all cheering ]

♪ I don't want

♪ a place to stay

♪ get your booty
on the floor tonight ♪

♪ make my day
man: Whoa!

♪ make my day
[ laughter ]

♪ make my, make my, make

♪ make my day
[ all cheering ]

♪ make my day

♪ make my day, make

♪ make my, make my, make

♪ make my day
yeah.
Whoo!

This is his girlfriend,
by the way.

[ applause ]

It's gonna be hard to beat,
aaron.

Homoki: Yeah. Fuck yeah.
[ cheers and applause ]

All right, aaron,
let's see what you got.

Oh, my god!
This is gonna be so gross.

I hope you can twerk.
Can you twerk?
Man: Yeah.

♪ get up, get up

[ laughter ]



-Whoo!
-Yeah, baby!

[ man laughs ]

[ cheers and applause ]



Man: Yeah!
[ laughter ]

[ laughter ]

[ laughter continues ]



[ laughter ]



That was pretty good.

My whole body
smells so bad, too.

That's fucked.

Everybody in here
needs to take a shower now.



I found some lunch.

Well, we haven't stopped
for food in a little bit,

And all these blackberries
are here.

So I'm picking out some food.

I had, like, a mulberry tree
when I was little,

And we picked from that
all the time,

Make, like, mulberry pie
and stuff.

I don't know, dude.

It's just free food.

[ laughs ]

And it tastes delicious.

Look at this fool.

I don't even know what that is,
but that's thick.

[ chuckles ]

I mean,
it's kind of tight.



Right now, we got bitch-boy
blake trying to call the shots,

And I'm gonna let him.

I'd like to see
how the day goes myself.

He came out here crying,
real hot,

Said he didn't
have enough sleep,

He's not getting to eat enough,

We're running it too hard...

Shit like that.

So we're gonna let him
run the day.

See how that goes.

Uh, I'll run it.

Don't worry.
You'll run it?

Yeah.
Run what?

Whatever it is
that you act like you run.

One morning,
blake went on a revolt.

Lutheran:
This is new inning, mike.

You're in the spine now.

Blake stands up to mike,
that's for sure.

You can't get me fired up,
blake.

Mike "big pink" sinclair.

This dude
is a tireless road dog.

Loves talking shit,
loves eating snacks,

And you might not know
from looking at sinclair today,

But he is
a bad-ass skater.

He was part of the '90s
east coast revolution,

Doesn't take any bullshit.

He just loves
to call these guys out

And make them go for it.

I don't give a fuck
who wins.

They get the money,
not me.

I've been looking forward to
sitting back the whole trip.



Man: Whoo!



[ tires screech ]



-Sorry.
-No, no, no, no.

♪ everybody want to be
the fuckin' rich ♪

♪ have enough money
just to stay on top ♪

♪ bustin' out my pockets,
make it never stop ♪

-Whoo-hoo!
-Yes.

♪ I can make it rain,
make it thunder, too ♪

♪ everywhere I go



Man: [ laughing ]



Yeah!



Man: Yeah!

♪ everybody love me
when I'm out at night ♪

♪ drop 20 grand,
see my name in ice ♪

♪ you know who I am,
you don't have to ask ♪

♪ I don't love you, baby,
I just love that ass ♪

♪ I can make you famous
for a minute or two ♪

♪ take a ride with me,
I'm stoned ♪



I'll remember that shit,
bill.



[ all cheering ]

Man: Amazing.

Sinclair:
Do we need a full circle?

[ all drumming ]

♪ king of the road
♪ king of the road, 2015

♪ king of the road, road
♪ king of the road

♪ king, road,
king of the road, road ♪

Man: Ow!

Solid.

Yeah!

Jobless.



-That's 68.
-69 on the right.

-This is 69.
-That's the house right there.

Smyth: Came to red's house --
mark "red" scott,

The founder/owner/creator
of dreamland skateparks.

Oh, my fuckin'
rail of death.

Man: Holy shit.

Quick work
of that rail, huh?

What's going on, dude?
How you been?

How's the trip been so far?
-Pretty good.

Burnett: Mark "red" scott,
a concrete wizard.

He's one of the original
burnside badasses.

Smyth: He started the whole
diy movement with burnside,

Like, so many years ago,

And since has built
the most insane parks.



And he has a seaside compound

With one of the most deadliest
setups in all of skateboarding.

Just gonna have this one
at the end.

Berle: That's more of
a challenge, I guess.
Boom!

You know when
you're going over to red's,

Like, you're gonna have
a good time,

But you know for sure

You're gonna watch
one of your friends or you

Take the slam of a lifetime.

Someone's going down at red's,
for sure.

Scott:
Hey, let's throw some axes.

[ shouts ]

Ready!

[ all cheering ]

That's fuckin' fun, dude.

Smyth: And the wild stunts
and crazy concrete

And the land, the house,
the bowl,

Everything is, like, rad.

Vitetta:
That's fuckin' incredible.

Good luck with this.

Holy shit, dude.
This is fuckin' scary.

That's, like, if you see
that bowl, that's who red is.

Just like, "fuck, dude,

What were you thinking
when you built this?"

Oh, this thing is crazy.

Hell no.



Man: Whoo!



Oh, dude.

Whoo!



-Damn!
-That's cool, dude.

Vitetta: What are you guys
doing over there?

This is private property.
Get off!

Oh, fuck, dude!

[ laughs ]

Why doesn't it stick, dude?

Oh, fuck.
It sticks on this.

[ chainsaw motor revs ]

What's happening now?

[ chainsaw motor revving ]



Berle: Can't go to red's without
lighting something on fire.

Pyromania.

-[ laughs ]
-oh, my god, dude.

Of course, red,
within two seconds,

Has the gasoline and a lighter
and the cloth out.

It's like, "gasoline's not
flammable enough?

You need to fuckin'
light some cloth on fire

Underneath the rail?"

Make it count.

-Light the rail on fire!
-Whoo!

-Oh, my god.
-Yeah! Whoo!

Holy shit, dude.
It's like a barbecue.



-Whoo!
-Whoa!

[ all cheering ]

-Holy shit, dude.
-Whoo!

Trimmed my fuckin' mustache
hairs on that thing, dude.

I don't know. We'll make it
more difficult here.

-All right.
-We're gonna have fun with this.

[ laughs ]

Tershy: Brap!

Raven's like,
"I want to go try that."

[ laughs ]

[ engine starts ]

That's
one of the challenges --

Raven's got to clear
the tabletop.

Whoo-hoo.

Vitetta:
Did you see the jump?

Oh, my god.
With the front wheel.

Oh, my god.
Almost ate shit, dude.

Man, that was sketchy
as fuck.

Almost ate it
first try on that one.

Whoa!
Raven cleared it.

Wheatley: Let's get one more
jump, ra, come on.

Who wants one?
Berle?

Let's get another jump,
please.

So it looks sick.
Something.

Let's see a no-hands,
dude.

Come on.

-Oh!
-Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, man.

Man: [ gasps ] whoa.

-You okay?
-Ouch, dude.

-Damn.
-Oh, my...

Vitetta: Ra!

Wheatley: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[ engine revving ]

-Oh!
-Oh, my god.

Vitetta:
Oh, my god, man.

-Whoa.
-You okay?

-Ouch, dude.
-[ whistles ]

Hey, come here.

Whenever I see a big slam
like that, it sinks in.

When he's, like, not moving,
I'm like, "oh, shit.

That was really, really bad."

-Yeah.
-Take your time.

Smyth: Just sit still.

As far as what's visible,
it looks...All right.

Legs are kicking.

Arms all right.

Just some scratches
and shit.

Your head.

F-u-u-u-uck!

-You all right?
-You can't hurt steel.

He got super-lucky.

It could've been
a hell of a lot worse.

You're walking away.
That's fuckin'...

That's so...

-[ laughs ]
-hey, hall of meat.

-Who got it?
-Whoa.

I filmed it.
Hey, that is a good
hall of meat.

-Whoa!
-Possible broken cheekbone.

Oh.

I just gassed it hella hard
and was going straight to flat,

Tershy: So I just bailed,
aborted shit.

Hey, that is 100%, though,
gonna get hall of meat.

And no motherfucker
slammed harder than that.

That was one of the heavier
slams I even ever seen.

I think you got
pretty lucky.

[ laughing ]



Someone's got to fuckin'
ride dirt bikes

With a helmet on
from now on.

Yelling at us, too.

Okay. What do I say now?
I'm totally blonde.

Okay, just say,
"welcome to eugene."

Welcome to
eugene, oregon.

"this is
the toy machine team."

This is
the toy machine team.

Toy machine in the house.

Fuck yeah.

King of the road, 2015.

King of the road,
two-thousand four-- '15.

-I got the next city.
-What is it?

Mount shasta, city,
california.

Your next city
is redding, california.

Weed, california.

-Weed.
-Yeah, boy.

If you go there,
you're gonna leave on probation.

I'm just telling you.
-Oh, whoa.

-It's not a good town.
-Maybe I'm gonna skip it.

-Do they got good skate spots?
-Yeah.

You want to make out?
[ laughs ]

Should be fun.

Raah!



[ horn honks,
tires screech ]



Walker: Fuck off.

Yeah.

Lutheran: Oh, no.

Oh, no.

♪ I feel it coming over me

I don't know.



Man: Motherfucker!



♪ you don't know me

♪ like I know you

Those pages are thick.

♪ bleeding and bleeding

♪ who did this thing to you?

That's all we got.

♪ screaming and screaming

♪ did I do this to you?

Ahh.

Hey, bill.

♪ you don't know me

♪ like I know you

Fuck.

♪ like I know you

Man: Whoo!

Davis:
All right, so, we left portland
a little while ago,

Drove down to eugene,
about a 2 1/2-hour drive.

We stopped here on the way

Because I think
we'll get some shit done

And at least get some checks
on these pages.



Davis: Yeah, there we go.

Get a clap.

My boy.

Check.

Walker: All right, boys.

Right, man.

Do it!

Whoo!

Chocolate, fuck you.

Right here, mills,
give me one.

Do it!



♪ leather bound

Man: Whoo!

♪ you decide

♪ strength of your skin

♪ never wanted

Man: Yeah.

Good.

[ camera shutter clicks ]
man: Let's go.

[ engine starts ]



Axel's going for
the 360 no-comply.



-Yeah!
-Whoa!

-Did that count?
-Yeah. Hell yeah.

That was
a 50-pointer, player.



[ cheers and applause ]

-Yes.
-Great job.



-Yeah.
-Whoo!

Nollie back smith.

You love it, huh, bill?
Oh, yeah.

Sinclair: That rail's in the way
for the wall ride.

The bottom one's finger-tight,

But this one was
until we got to the end.

Sinclair:
You got that trick.

Yeah, I mean, on a good day,
for sure.
Yeah.



Sinclair: Yes!
[ cheers and applause ]



I didn't think it was gonna be
this productive,

Getting in town
as late as we did,

As long as the drive was.

Dudes were looking real tired,
real grumpy.

But, uh, they all
started skating,

Everybody got something,
and we did good.

We're stoked.

Lutheran:
Ladies and gentlemen,

This meeting's adjourned.



It's kind of all
sketchy-looking, so...

We're gonna try to be
quick here, I think.

♪ I love you, but your heart
is made of gristle ♪

Homoki: Yeah, ben!

You know, there's actually
a pretty fair chance

That there will be
some tweakers here tonight,

Just doing stupid shit.

Man: Well, the deal is,

This used to be, like,
a heroin, junky park

Until they placed a skate park
right over it.

♪ don't dial

♪ don't dial

Yeah.
Yeah? It'll just take
two seconds.

All right.
All right.

1/16/1954.

This is marie.

Robin marie.

All right, thank you.

Hell yeah.
You're the best.

Nice, nice.

Man:
62, what's up with you?!



Man: Yeah!

Thanks.
I love you.

Thanks. [ laughs ]

Boy: Well, it's jaws.

I mean,
the one and only here.

But I mean, it's just fun
to watch, 'cause --

Everyone else kind of
sticks to their own thing,

And, you know, they're good
at street skating,

They're good at, you know,
riding some ledges.

Jaws is kind of
all over the place,

So it's fun to watch.

♪ don't dial

He's one of the best
street skaters ever.

Like, he'll kickflip a 19.

But he's also one of the best
vert skaters completely, too.

♪ came here to party

♪ and you stepped outside

I think I'd always,
like, ollie into bowls.

[ chuckles ]at skate parks,
like, that'd be, like --

I don't know -- a thing that me
and my friends would try to do.

Tomorrow, we're gonna do
some mad skateboarding.

Like, stairs and --
-and?

-And kickflips and --
-and?

-Double kickflips off the --
-gymnastics!

I'm gonna do gym--
a little bit of gymnastics.

I think that's kind of where it
manifested from a little bit.

And I jumped on trampolines
my whole life, too, so...

I think that's, like --

I'm kind of comfortable
in the air, kind of.

♪ technological equipment

'cause I don't think
I'm gonna stop

Until my body stops, so...

Actually, I know I'm not
gonna stop till my body stops.

I just want to jump off shit.

[ laughs ]





Redding?

Whoo!

[ laughter ]



[ engine revs ]



I feel ridiculous.

Every time.

Every time he's talking,
I'm like, "dude..."

All right, go ahead.
Sorry.

So, I'm standing here,
looking ridiculous.

We're waiting for our challenges
to come at any minute.

Axel thinks it's freezing.

He picked the right day
to go shirtless,

But he's already freezing
like a little bitch.

I don't know if he's gonna make
it five days, actually.

Five days
without a shirt.

Swayze challenge.

Do you know
who patrick swayze is?
Yeah.

Who is he?
He's a skater.

[ laughter ]

No, I -- oh, no.

[ laughs ]
I don't know.

All right, we got challenge
number one.

I'll let you read it.
You do the honors.

No, no.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, you can.

What's this?
I don't know.

"the kindness of strangers.

Find a woman who
will allow the entire team

To spend the night
at her house.

Make her pancakes
in the morning."

Wow.

Should I go ask
these ladies?

I'll go.
Go on the house hunt.

Oh, yeah.
Maybe you guys know somewhere.

Can you read this?

Marks: Yeah, tomorrow night,
we got a place to stay.

Where?
With one of those girls?

Am I gonna be famous?

[ laughing ]

Cruysberghs: Fuck no.

Matt said...

One of the dudes is here.

Whoever the fuck zack is.

Zack's not a woman.

I know, but his mom is.

Let me read the fuckin'
challenge again.

"kindness of strangers.
Find a woman..."

Yeah,
zack's mom's a woman.

Yeah, true.

Might be a loophole.

Loo--
we don't know her!

How the fuck
is that a loophole?
[ chuckles ]

Might work.

[ laughter ]

-Hi.
-Hi.

-How are you?
-Good.

This is axel.
Hello.

Hi.
This is blake.

Nice to meet you.
Hi. Nice to meet you.

Sorry to wake you.

We're cooking you pancakes
tomorrow morning.

You better believe it.

So, is it just...

Marks: It's five.

Yeah, it's just 5 of us,
not 20.

[ brahm's "lullaby" plays ]

Cruysberghs: Later, mike.



Carpenter: Dude,
you got it made over here.

I know.
This is straight up.

I never have to leave.

Hee-hee.



I'll break your goddamn camera
right now.

[ chuckles ] so beat.

Nice.

All right, thanks.
All right, bye.

On the next
"king of the road"...

We got some new shit this year
for "king of the road sf."

This is the shit
we've always wanted to see

Go down in this town.



This is where you guys
are gonna get a mystery guest.

Hopefully
you got someone good.

[ all cheering ]

Oh, my god.

This is gonna be nuts

Man: Holy shit!

Check!

Man: Fuck. Sorry, man.

So sorry.