King of the Road (2016-…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Shirtless in Seattle - full transcript
In Seattle, the teams visit Jimi Hendrix High School for the best barefoot trick and then record a song with Mark Hubbard.
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---
They are super
dangerous --
Crazy, wild dangerous.
The stunts seen are...
Serious professionals.
This show
also contains bad language!
Open the window.
Oh, god!
Need a book
or anything, magazine?
Here's a "king of the road"
book.
Thank you.
Bunch of stink up in here.
See if you can get the audio
of it hitting.
Oh, sweet release.
Oh! We got it!
Let's get the bucket out!
What?
[ gagging ]
Pull over!
Where's that bucket at?
Oh, he wasn't done.
Oh!
[ heaving ]
Throwing up, clint?!
That's a lot
of fried chicken, dude.
Oh, that bucket.
Get that bucket.
All right.
That's 150 points.
[ retching ]
[ punk music playing over ]
Oh!
Aah!
Fuck!
Hell yea!
Whoo!
We're in seattle.
We're about to send out
the first round
Of city challenges.
So this is
where it really gets good.
Oh!
What?
City challenge one.
One of three.
Got to jimi hendrix high school
While wearing
hendrix style headbands.
Film the most amazing line
you can down the two rock rails.
Best line gets an extra
50 points.
Is that why they handed us
all headbands?
You guys ready?
Oh, yeah!
Let's get oprah's back.
All right.
We're going up
to get some fried chicken
And fucking concrete rails
right now.
The city challenges
are worth the most points,
And that's what kind of runs
the show as far
As the dudes moving around.
We are at jimi hendrix school.
And the challenge is to do,
like, a line -- best line
Hitting two rails in a row.
Stevie perez, aka 47.
Flaquino.
He's gonna do it with a bandana.
He's the motherfucking dog!
Is there anything --
that's a big rail.
Whoa, yeah, let's do this.
Is there anything
we can accomplish here?
They have that whole book
With all this different stuff
in there
That they can kind of pick
and choose.
It kind of drives them crazy.
There's so much stuff in here
And no team has ever
accomplished all of it.
They can't do it all,
So it's just
like keep it moving,
Always something to do.
Come on.
Finger flip pavement,
let's do this.
That's a team effort right here.
Team effort.
Same shit, dude,
but just throw a flip in it.
Yeah, dude!
Yes!
Oh!
Right here, holmes.
Yeah!
Motherfuckers!
Whoo!
That was gnarly!
Let's keep knocking these out.
Raven, bob gnar challenge.
And did the fucking thing
barefoot.
Oh, I'll roll into that shit
barefoot.
You do a trick barefoot,
And at the end,
jake phelps judges, like,
The gnarliest trick barefoot.
It's a good one, dude.
The barefoot challenge.
Yeah, my toe's all fucked up,
so that's gonna hurt.
But I'm down to try.
Oh, god.
Look at this guy.
He looks like a statue up there.
Come on.
He's gonna roll --
He's rolling into it.
Oh, dude,
he's about to roll in, man.
Fuck, dude.
Fuck!
You got it, man!
Whoo!
Oh, fucking shit!
Got that shit, ray.
This little piece
of fucking concrete sticks up
And scares the shit out of you.
Show him the piece of chicken!
There's a trophy!
Got that chicken
when you get it!
All right, jimmy.
Right here, dude.
Oh!
Yeah, boy!
Whoo!
That was next level, dude.
Oh, my god!
Fuckin' big dog!
Give this boy a piece of chicken
right now!
Wow! Look at this. Straight into
the fucking lawn.
It doesn't get much better
than that.
Straight into some chicken.
Whoo!
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, look who it is!
You better stay away!
What's up, spike?
Damn, lou,
already got a nose ring?
No way.
Oh, it's just a nose bleed, oh.
We just ran into
the chocolate team.
It's the first day
of "king of the road."
Chocolate team rules!
Whoo!
Looks like they're packing up.
They're leaving.
So it's out turn.
[ punk music playing over ]
Whoo!
Film the most amazing line
you can down the two rock rails.
♪
Yeah, bill!
Hell yeah!
Whoo!
Yeah, daddy!
Billy's epic, dude.
He can flick under rails,
do anything he wants.
A cool bag of tricks.
He's the veteran.
He's so sick.
I can't say this around him,
But he was one of
my favorite skaters growing up.
Did you get the line here?
Billy's the oldest team
rider we have.
I didn't originally pick billy
To come on "king of the road"
this year.
Then when I told him
who was going instead of him,
He made me take him.
Bringing the flow guys
on "king of the road" is like,
Dude, they got the freshest legs
so they're not gonna wear out.
Whoever the oldest guy
on the team, you know,
Is fucking taking ice baths.
These guys
are just eating candy bars
And, like, "what do we gotta
do next?" they're amped.
So I'm bring half the crew
Of flow guys
or new ams if I can.
Man: I think in the back
of everyone's mind,
They know that skating is
like a...
Like, it's a fleeting career.
Maybe billy feels like he's
at a different door than axel.
It's like axel
is opening up this door
To, like, this career,
And I think billy might be
at a different door
That he's trying
to weigh options
And figure it all out, you know?
I happen to think he's one
of the greatest,
And he makes toy machine cool.
Jock ass bill over here.
Yeah, fuck them.
Trying to win.
"king of the road"
might be my last one.
Even more motivation
for me to go out there
And try to make a difference.
He said,
"if I go," he said
He'll cut his leg off,
he said
He'll make out with whoever
even though he's married.
He'll shave his eyebrows.
You guys have seen them.
His eyebrows
are that fucking big.
Like giant caterpillars on
there.
So he says he's down.
So we'll see.
This is billy's
last ride, I guess.
We'll see.
Oh, shit.
All right, bill.
This challenge
was meant for you.
Classic bill maneuver.
Yeah!
Oh!
One try!
My god!
Yeah, bill.
First try, kicky beef --
down a whole stack.
I don't even know how many --
there's a lot, though.
Oh!
Yeah, fucking right!
Yeah, bill!
Who does that?
That's our dude.
Holy shit!
Thanks, bud.
That was insane, dude.
That was so sick.
Holy crap.
I don't feel
like I'm a team leader,
But I guess I have to now.
Maybe the old dude
Starts landing tricks,
get everyone hyped.
Yes!
Got 'em both the first try
down the stairs,
Which is pretty impressive.
They're both gross tricks,
but it's awesome to get 'em.
Billy's the king
of doing some gross shit.
♪
Oh!
Let's go get some chicken.
♪ where did the time go?
♪ it's 7:00,
and the sun's sets slow ♪
♪ where did the time go?
♪ I'm lost all the time
and I can't get home ♪
There's some towels here
Where they tried
to dry up the water.
So at least one
of the teams has been here.
♪ life's too short
to be so worried ♪
♪ I don't want to go
That's insane.
♪ I don't want to go
It's 100 points
just to do a line.
We're gonna have to light it up.
♪ I just want to go
but I don't know why ♪
♪
Yeah!
I like that!
Ready?
Yeah!
That's my clark!
Yeah, baby!
♪
♪
Birdhouse is getting sent
to mark hubbard's lair.
What's up, man?
Dude, you got a fucking
insane compound here.
He's one of the original
diy concrete guys.
In 1990, him and red
built burnside together.
If you're gonna build
a skate park
With your bare hands
in the rain,
You're not some fucking sissy.
It's funny, you know.
It's not like we were pioneers
or anything.
You know, it's just
like we just did it
Before people really
Knew you could get away
with that kind of shit.
15 years later,
we built,
You know, over 400 skate parks
all over the world.
This is grindline office.
This is where all
the magic happens.
Where we're changing the world
one skate park at a time.
Well, five at a time, actually.
This is the highest
concentration
Of skate parks in the world.
Per capita, it's astronomical.
Does that make any sense?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Man: Mark hubbard has a whole
empire at his house,
Including a band practice space
For his band grindline,
the band,
Which is pretty incredible.
He's a tough guy.
I don't know
if these guys have ever
Met somebody
like mark hubbard before.
Come on!
Do it like you mean it, man!
Let's play something!
I think I drank, like, a 12-pack
waiting for 'em to show up.
He bringing the beer?
Right down.
Oh, my goodness!
Man: Now he has an indoor vert
ramp at his house.
Man:
He invented his own tricks.
Sway bar,
fucking comatose, detonator.
All those tricks,
you've never done them before
In your life.
Man: They're gonna attempt
to learn
His original tricks.
He has a bunch of,
like, signature maneuvers
That he invented.
Back when I was,
Like, coming up,
I wasn't that good.
I mean, I can skate,
But I wasn't as talented as,
Like, a lot
of my friends, you know?
So I was kind of just --
Came up with some silly tricks.
The sass flip and the sway bar
And the kickflip texas.
That's it right there.
Whoo!
That was it.
That's what he's gotta do.
♪ they got you
you got it good ♪
♪ you can't get me
Man: He's been skating
for 40 years.
It was fun to watch
him struggle to do, like,
Some shit 'cause
those dudes, you know, are rad.
They're really good.
Fucking tail on him,
fucking throw it in!
Come on!
Holy shit, that was frightening.
Got one more trick
he's gotta do.
Check it out,
check it out.
Oh, my -- hubs!
Oh, my -- hubs!
Oh, big time.
Takes a lot
to take that dude out.
Oh, my god.
No mas, no mas, no mas.
The show's over, homey.
Oh, he fucked up!
Get it!
That's a make,
that's a make!
Ben's about
to handplant on my head.
Ben's about to handplant my head
right now.
You ready?
Oh!
That was weak!
That was weak!
Hey, fuck you!
Yeah!
It's what skateboarding
is all about.
It's being spontaneous.
You know,
and just fucking weird.
Yeah!
Maybe if I, like,
put a pillow on my back.
Oh, my god, dude!
That was insane!
That shit is so scary!
Oh, my god!
Get it!
Spinal!
Oh, oh!
Yeah!
Girls night out, weirdos.
How was it?
It was fucking gnarly!
We're trying
to finish up
Our city challenge here
at the vert ramp.
We gotta do a song
with these dudes.
Clint!
What's up?
Yeah, let's go jam!
Let's get it!
[ playing ]
Oh, my --
Grindline, the band,
writes songs about everything.
You know, there's some self-help
messages in there.
Shut off the goddamn fucking
drum set
Like a real fucking man!
Put the fucking --
I ain't signing off
On this thing.
We could have had, you know,
a little more practice.
But it's music.
You know, it's most interesting
If it happens
right there on the spot.
The song is called
"space from this."
Is everybody ready?!
Not that complicated.
Let's go.
One, two, three, four!
[ screaming unintelligibly ]
I mean, I love playing music
with people.
You know,
when it's just nobody
Knows what they're doing,
it's great.
Could have been worse.
Let's just put it that way.
Fucking brought down
the house, man!
Fuck, yeah, boys!
All right.
Yeah, fuck, yeah!
I don't know
what the fuck I sang.
But I sang
and kicked everything over,
And I think I broke the mic.
So, hopefully, we can leave now.
Everybody needs to go.
We gotta get out.
We gotta get the fuck
out of here, dude.
We got so much shit to do.
♪
Yeah?
Johnny jones
About to boss up
and ollie off the van.
All we need is an ollie.
Let's do it.
We'll light it up.
Johnny jones is the new guy.
I can't imagine being
in his shoes.
He's like flow,
he's not really on the team.
This trip's
gonna break him in, for sure.
Man: I'm 18 right now.
Turn 19 on "king of the road."
Being chosen to skate "king
of the road"
Is the opportunity, to like,
show what you got.
So that's what I'm trying
to do right now.
This is a dream
come true for me.
Just like over there.
Get 'em, johnny!
In the rain.
Everything's in the rain
when you're in seattle.
Let's get out action
right here, son.
Oh!
Fuck!
Ouch!
Come here.
I really like the way
johnny jones, he --
He approached,
you know, this trip.
It's his dream.
He's still you,
And I think that
if he skates with them,
He's gonna learn even more.
Damn, dude.
This fucking sucks!
Oh!
Whoo!
Oh, johnny!
You got it.
You got it, you got it!
Johnny: They just keep telling
you, just,
You know, just do it.
You got it. Focus.
It's like,
"all right, man.
It's kind
of fucking hard, you know?
Perfect.
Oh!
For some reason, we just
picked the worst moment in time
To try to jump off the van.
It's like the worst ground.
It was raining.
It was a messy scene.
Oh! Fuck! Oh!
Cramping?
Yeah.
We can hold off, dude.
No, fuck it.
One more.
Okay!
♪
Oh, man!
So fucking slippery.
If it wasn't wet,
I could have got it.
You had it for a sec.
Warning!
Please do not attempt --
Wait, please do not attempt.
All right.
Woman:
I'm not talking to you!
I know people who'll fuck you up
for everything you're saying!
Hey, dan lou, what's going on?
Her what?
She just took her weave,
her hair off.
-Really?
-Yeah.
Imagine they start fighting.
No! Fuck --
[ screaming ]
There it is, there it is!
Ooh!
[ women screaming ]
[ screaming ]
I've never
seen anything like that before!
Oh, my!
That was insane.
What just happened?
Some sort
of neighborhood gathering.
Basic street fight.
I kind of shit
doesn't happen in belgium.
I've never seen anything
like that.
Wow, wow, wow!
Whoo!
We're trying to knock out
some miscellaneous challenges
Right now,
and it's raining,
So we decided to come
to a skate park
With a six-foot section.
Blake carpenter
is gonna try to drop in
On a rack of ribs.
On a rack of ribs.
How do the ribs feel?
Fucking soft as a dick.
I think you'll get it first try.
Wait, three bugs.
He shit on the first one.
Oh, my god, blake.
That was scary as fuck.
Those ribs are running slippery.
Oh!
Don't fuck up the ribs.
You all right?
Yeah.
That looked fucking terrible.
All right, this is -- this is --
Oh, no!
Raw dogging them!
Oh, you got it, man!
Oh!
Whoa, blake!
Yes!
No!
Oh!
Fuck!
That one hurt.
Look at this --
tenderize it.
We're running out of energy,
But I know we can still do
something before we go to bed.
No.
Yeah.
No. There's nothing --
it's fucking raining, dude.
I know, it's gonna rain
even harder tomorrow.
All right, we can work on this
on our way to the hotel.
Somebody can cry.
We can get some titties.
That's not gonna happen.
You can't see titties at night.
One of you guys
should eat a page.
This one looks good.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
We'll have a good team dinner.
Somebody's gotta take a shit
on the way back.
Well.
It doesn't have to be today!
It should be.
You don't postpone,
motherfuckers.
You don't pre-game, either.
You don't what?
You don't just pre-game a turd
in the van right away.
Right now, were here
at escape ats skate park
To skate the 12-inch-tall ledge.
We can get a lot
of points here
If dudes start
stacking tricks here for sure.
♪
Fuck!
Hit it?
Yeah.
♪ get down
Yeah, stevie!
Fuck yeah, steve!
Oh!
Fuck yeah, l.D.
20 points.
I can get --
I can get the 20 ones all day.
♪ before the cats get down
put it away ♪
Yeah, stevie, dude!
Fuck yeah.
Called that one, baby!
What do we get?
Front blunt
to fakie nosegrind.
Yep.
Flaq's just got that?
Yeah.
Sick.
First night.
We'll probably be out late night
trying some random stuff.
I think that we should go
for every single challenge.
It's the approach
to win a battle.
Man: You look
at all those challenges,
All the fucked up ones,
It's never really
like a decision,
Like, "okay,
I'm gonna --
I'm gonna
drink the piss,"
Or like, "I'm getting
the tattoo of this and that."
It's always kind
of like spur of the moment.
And you're like,
"all right, well...
Who's up?"
Johnny.
What else?
Water out, water in.
Drink your own pee.
Hey, wheat!
Will you film johnny
Drink his own piss real quick?
I'm gonna just do it!
You know,
just try to get points.
So...
Fuck!
He's gonna drink his piss?
Fuck.
Yeah, turn the light on.
[ urinating ]
Fuck.
Look how golden that shit is.
Oh, man!
Fucking --
that's apple juice.
♪ said it's not advised,
but it sure is up to you ♪
Johnny what.
Whiskey.
Oh, my god, it's gonna taste
so fucking -- stand back.
I don't want to fucking spit
out all this shit.
Just fucking don't even --
Like, plug your nose
or something.
♪ devil's brew
Yes!
He polished it!
♪ devil's brew
whoo!
I think it's gross!
Ha! Ha!
Swallow it!
Swallow it, don't puke!
Whoo!
It's tasty!
Oh, my god, that's nasty.
It's tasty!
You guys.
Oh, yeah!
Oh! Yes!
Once the competition starts,
you want to stay as far out --
Away from the other teams
as you can.
So we went
and did other challenges
While everybody else was here.
This is like the only spot
you could do a trick
With all four wheels
on the roof or the ceiling.
♪ we don't mind your soul
♪ turn around,
got the time ♪
♪ free your mind
to lose control ♪
Whoa!
♪ sweetie-pie, meet her
on the ceiling ♪
That was fucking tight.
You did that so -- so good.
Yeah.
Gotta see it, you know,
Whether it's light or dark.
You gotta pace yourself,
but you gotta work, too.
♪ turn around,
we got the time ♪
♪ free you mind
to lose control ♪
We pretty much did
all the city challenges.
The first two years,
they were trying to get
Me to do the makeout thing.
They were, like, trying get
me to do it this year.
And I got a girlfriend,
And they're like, "dude,
just fucking do it."
And I was like, "fuck!
Dude, I can't do it."
I'm allegedly making out
with some dude.
Like, can you tell me, please?
Clint did it the first year,
I did it last year.
Maybe we'll, like, throw mike d.
On it or something.
What are you doing right now?
Why are you on the phone?
I'm fucking down to do it.
Like, I'm gonna fucking go in.
Handle it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna do it.
Who am I making out with?
Uh, yeah, I think it's me.
I think I'm gonna do it.
It's michael?!
Really?
I haven't done it yet.
[ soft r&b playing ]
Yeah! All right!
All right, we got it.
First one out of the way.
Thank you.
I was, like,
trying to run it by my chick,
And I was like,
"it doesn't mean anything."
Like, I'm just gonna --
I'm kissing girls
I'm never gonna
talk to them again.
Like, it's just,
like, a little kiss
And then...
You know, we're gone.
And she's like not having it.
Ready? All right.
One --
One, two...
All right!
On two.
I don't want to do it.
But if I have to do it,
I'm definitely gonna catch
a bunch of shit from her.
But, uh...
I don't know, see what happens.
Can I see it first?
Yeah.
It's actually
"king of the road."
♪ I needed that something
thank you.
The most makeouts challenge
Has long captured
the imagination of
"king of the road" competitors,
But it's only worth
50 points.
There's an entire book
worth of stuff to do.
But yet these people will go
to the ends of the earth
To try to get the most makeouts.
They're like,
"we'll stay
Out until 3:00
in the morning
At the --
at the off chance
That they're gonna get
to suck face with somebody.
Oh, thank you.
So last year, clive
Shattered the records
of makeouts,
Like, 88 makeouts.
♪ 'cause you know that,
baby, it's true ♪
♪ you're the one thing
I've been here waiting for ♪
♪ 'cause you know we're better
as two ♪
What is this?
What is it?
Get in there, birthday girl.
♪ I can't believe
It was just like
a spit-swapping extravaganza.
It was just -- it was insane.
♪ I get butterflies,
I feel so alive ♪
♪ when I kiss you
We always kind of take
that a little too serious.
Like, we spend a lot
of time trying to get makeouts
When other teams
are like, you know,
Like, not really
caring about it.
But it's funny to us.
I don't know.
♪ so, baby, it's true
♪ you're the one that
I've been here waiting for ♪
♪ 'cause you know we're
better as two ♪
I think that was
the best kiss I got.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck yeah.
She fucking nailed it.
♪ I can't believe...
I gotta pee so bad,
I'll fill my shoe up.
It smells like somebody already
did the challenge right now.
Fuckin' smells like piss.
Pretty crowded.
Follow me.
Menswear's good.
It's a crowded area, right?
No, dude,
you gotta be around people.
Oh, let's go.
Like, how crowded is crowded?
I don't get it.
I can't go.
Go, just go.
Are you filming?
Just do it.
You actually gotta
give me a second.
I'm trying.
Don't look at me.
I can't --
I can't do it
when somebody's, like,
Staring right at me.
Right, right, right.
No, not a movie.
Oh.
Just...
Just messing around.
♪
A little puddle.
Like, I don't know, man.
There's, like,
such a small amount of pee.
Can you see it?
Do we get points?
I don't know, man.
We question it.
The guy
fucking looked at me weird.
He knew what I was doing.
Like a little dog pee --
It was like a small amount.
You peed it weird.
Yeah, I peed weird.
Like, fucking give me a break.
I'm going back in the van.
Fuck y'all.
Let's go.
Yeah.
I'd say that I'm fucking
so tired, my god.
Oh, my god.
I can't move.
I can't move.
I can't move!
I can't move.
I'm so tired, man.
Man: First day was crazy.
This whole thing is crazy,
but, yeah, first day is crazy.
A lot
of our dudes killed it today.
How do you feel?
I just need rest.
Fuck it, I kept getting,
like, cramps up here.
Thought it was gonna
be more tricks,
But there's not
as many, like, tricks.
It's, like, more
like shenanigans with tricks.
Want to do the stickers
right now?
Which -- which stickers?
Somebody's gotta check
in dressed in stickers.
Fully naked?
Raven, my dude.
It's on!
Get the stickers.
Oh, yeah, let me get some
of these thrasher ones.
Just do, like,
one of these, that's it.
Dude!
I'm just kidding.
That's so --
make it look all -- oh!
Where did raven go?
Over there.
He's getting geared up.
Yeah.
[ chuckling ]
You can do a sort of belt,
like, the whole -- just that.
I did like an underwear.
Dude, it seriously
was so incredibly painful
To pull them off your penis.
Yeah, when I did it,
you can make
Yourself something with,
Like, paper or whatever,
So you're not sticking stickers
right on --
I did it on my dick,
it was...
Yeah, I --
I didn't want to --
I kind of let you do that 'cause
it was like funnier.
Yeah.
Oh, gosh!
Oh, my gosh,
there's children up there.
Don't do this.
This isn't awkward at all.
Finishing touches.
Oh, ho!
Oh!
Yeah, bro!
Very cute skirt.
I had to make sure
everything was safe, man.
Can't have any fucking mishaps
in this outfit.
Hey!
You got a credit card?
A little skirt, man!
Go get 'em, ray!
I'm checking in with chocolate.
Okay.
Last name tershy.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yes.
Looking good.
Oh, thank you.
You, too.
I like that tie you got there.
Oh, thanks, man.
Pretty hot, nice one.
Not as good as your nipples.
Yeah.
Just need a couple
signatures from you.
I'll get you the room keys.
Have a good night.
You bet.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
How you feeling?
Great.
That makes two of us.
It's day two.
I feel like shit.
Cooking up a delicacy.
Homemade pop-tarts.
We're gonna put them
on the grill.
By the time we get to the tattoo
shop, they should be done.
So we gotta put them
on the engine block.
I that's the hot spot.
These ones,
I'm gonna leave open,
let them saute nice.
All right. Ooh, that's kind of
hot right there, too, already.
Really?
That is the hot spot.
Ooh.
That's extra crispy right there.
All right.
They look good, man.
Do it.
Axel, what's your plan today?
I don't know. Doing what
everybody else does, I guess.
Skate.
Make out, baby!
We got --
We got two hotties
lined up for him.
Yeah, I'm stoked.
They just told me
I had to do it.
He's the cutest.
It's that euro charm.
Hey, so somebody get a bunch
of water
Or any kind of liquid ready
if this thing catches on fire.
I'm hungry, mike!
Are they warm?
That one's the warmest.
How is it?
Mmm!
Cheers.
♪
Eli, when are you gonna start
going shirtless?
You gotta rip your shirt
off in a place.
In public, and then
go shirtless for five days.
I mean, I'm only assuming.
Like, you look best
with your shirt off.
Five days?!
That's a lot.
Like, if you go get shirtless
right now,
Like, is this a day?
Yo, mary poppins,
fucking move the van!
♪
Should we get a clarification
on the ruling?
Rip your shirt off
in a public place
And remain shirtless
for five days.
Come on, now, let's do it.
Agreed.
All right.
You good?
Yeah.
No, it's fine.
♪ I am a real american
yeah.
♪ fight for the rights of
every man ♪
♪ I am a real american
yeah.
Oh, fuck.
♪ fight for what's right,
fight for your life ♪
♪
♪ when it comes crashing down
and it hurts ♪
Raven went in there,
hulked the shirt.
Now he's gotta go five days,
no tee.
♪ you gotta take a stand
♪ it don't help to hide
♪ if you hurt my friends
then you hurt my pride ♪
♪ I gotta be a man
I can't let slide ♪
Got it, elijah.
♪ I am a real american
Yeah!
♪ fights for the rights
♪ of every man
you did it!
♪ I am a real american
No, I took them off.
It's hard to ride like this.
Oh, yeah, buddy.
Johnny jones!
Oh, fuck!
♪ I feel strong about
right and wrong ♪
Oh, shit!
Seemed like I was going
a little faster.
All right, fuck it.
♪ and I don't take trouble
♪ for very long
yeah!
Oh!
♪ I got something deep
inside of me ♪
♪ courage is a thing
that keeps us free ♪
♪ I am a real american
♪ fight for the rights
yeah, stevie!
♪ of every man
♪ I am a real american
♪ fight for what's right,
fight for your life ♪
Fucking do it!
♪ I am a real american
♪ fight for the rights
of every man ♪
♪ I am a real
Got it?
That was good.
Damn, I banged my fucking head
on this fucking shit,
You know what I mean?
Fuck yeah, eli.
♪
Oh, this girl said she'd rather
make out with me.
Oh, shit! You are!
Damn, give me some.
We got a --
we got a whole scheme going.
You gotta do the running swipe
where you go...
This is so fun!
Most fun
you can have just sitting here.
I'm gonna be getting
tinder matches from seattle
For the next two months.
All right.
Check out the prospects.
Day two of the trip,
We're going to look
at this baby rail right now.
It's raining,
But we're gonna check it
out just in case
Because we heard
it's pretty small
And we might be able to do
some of the small rail tricks.
Oh, sorry.
We're just looking around.
We skateboard.
We were gonna skate
down this banister.
We're skateboards.
It's kind of wet,
Though, so we probably
won't do it right now.
Sorry.
We're not gonna skate.
Might come back later.
Want to make out?
♪ come on, boys!
♪
Yeah!
Yeah!
Fuck yeah!
Yeah.
Fuck yeah, aaron. Whoo!
We're getting laced up
right now to do that.
Hopefully, I do it first try
so my feet aren't all bloody.
'cause you're supposed
to do a flipper heelflip.
Where's he going?
Clint's got the flippers on.
Oh!
Oh!
Ow!
What did he do,
step in dog shit?
He just stepped on a thorn.
A fucking thorn, dude!
Thorn in my flipper.
Ow!
First try!
Okay.
♪ swagger, boom, boom, swagger,
boom-boom-boom ♪
♪ swagger, swagger, boom, boom
♪ swagger, boom-boom-boom
Oh!
♪ I see her walk,
she was alking like a sailor ♪
I thought it was gonna be
a little bit easier, actually.
Oh!
Fuck yeah.
Billy!
♪ she goes, boom,
swagger, swagger ♪
I found a couple pieces
of wood to ollie the creek.
Ollie it?
Yeah, we gotta ollie a creek.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
♪ boom, boom, swagger
♪ boom-boom-boom
Ooh, it's got a kicker, too.
Damn, this is gonna be sick.
Ollie the creek!
♪ I hear her talking,
hear her talking like a cat ♪
♪ I said I wish that
I could talk like that ♪
♪ I hear her
♪ going like, roar!
♪ whoa
♪ yeah
Found it!
This is a legit creek, though.
This is gotta be the gnarliest
creek down here.
You got it right here, baby.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Whoo!
Guys!
Fuck yeah, clive.
I can't fucking believe
that actually worked.
That was the sketchiest
fucking thing ever.
We got some shit down here?
It was pretty productive.
We did all right.
♪ boom, boom, boom
♪ she goes boom
Oh, fuck.
Stopped at the walmart to pick
up a bunch of essentials
And just random shit,
Like longboard, roller blades,
And trying shades on.
Like, weird shit like that.
Aha!
A little baby funnel
to stick up my butt
And do the butt chug with.
I've got 12 makeouts so far.
So I'd say we're off
to an all right start.
We're aiming for 10 a day.
Excuse me.
Hey, could you help us out
for a second?
We're on this crazy
scavenger hunt.
I have to make out
with two ladies today.
I have to kiss two ladies.
No!
We haven't seen anyone yet.
Sorry.
Do you want to help us out
with something?
What do you need?
We're on "king of the road."
Oh, no way.
We have a challenge.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Would you be willing
to kiss my friend for, like,
Two seconds.
Dude.
Can you?
All right.
Fuck yeah!
There it is!
Just for, like, two seconds.
Come on, feel it!
Get it!
That's all we needed.
Thank you.
You fucking killed it.
Thank you.
Yes.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, she's gonna be bummed.
Yeah, she's pretty bummed.
I...
I told her I was gonna do it,
and I told her I wasn't,
And then she doesn't really know
that I'm doing it yet.
She'll be bummed
when she sees the video.
She just asked me if mike
davis was in there.
Yeah.
And I was like,
"you just made out with him."
She knew who mike was.
What's that?
You know snax, right?
Snax?
Yeah.
Yeah! Snax is my fucking boy!
You know that's his kid
in the car, right?
No, it's not!
There's a kid in that vehicle.
Oh, fucking no!
Oh, that's my homey's,
like, ex-wife.
You're in trouble now.
Fuck, dude, snax is my boy!
Damn it!
I've been
to you guy's house before.
I've been to --
I've been to your --
I'm -- met you before.
To the duplex.
I'm sorry.
Fuck, I gotta call
snax right now.
He's gotta redo
that challenge now, huh.
Busted!
God damn it.
[ honks ]
On the next
"king of the road"...
We're in seattle.
This is tier weather, dude.
They don't know
what their next city is.
See if they can make the best
use of the time.
We're gonna make out.
Or if they're just
gonna fucking complain.
Fuck!
Fucking asshole.
You're costing us money here!
Who wants some fucking
banana split?
That was sick.
Fuck!
That was insane.
Give me the cake.
I gotta do it.
Fuck.
You want to touch it up?
Go, go, go, go!
Motherfuckers!
Check!
Yeah.
---
They are super
dangerous --
Crazy, wild dangerous.
The stunts seen are...
Serious professionals.
This show
also contains bad language!
Open the window.
Oh, god!
Need a book
or anything, magazine?
Here's a "king of the road"
book.
Thank you.
Bunch of stink up in here.
See if you can get the audio
of it hitting.
Oh, sweet release.
Oh! We got it!
Let's get the bucket out!
What?
[ gagging ]
Pull over!
Where's that bucket at?
Oh, he wasn't done.
Oh!
[ heaving ]
Throwing up, clint?!
That's a lot
of fried chicken, dude.
Oh, that bucket.
Get that bucket.
All right.
That's 150 points.
[ retching ]
[ punk music playing over ]
Oh!
Aah!
Fuck!
Hell yea!
Whoo!
We're in seattle.
We're about to send out
the first round
Of city challenges.
So this is
where it really gets good.
Oh!
What?
City challenge one.
One of three.
Got to jimi hendrix high school
While wearing
hendrix style headbands.
Film the most amazing line
you can down the two rock rails.
Best line gets an extra
50 points.
Is that why they handed us
all headbands?
You guys ready?
Oh, yeah!
Let's get oprah's back.
All right.
We're going up
to get some fried chicken
And fucking concrete rails
right now.
The city challenges
are worth the most points,
And that's what kind of runs
the show as far
As the dudes moving around.
We are at jimi hendrix school.
And the challenge is to do,
like, a line -- best line
Hitting two rails in a row.
Stevie perez, aka 47.
Flaquino.
He's gonna do it with a bandana.
He's the motherfucking dog!
Is there anything --
that's a big rail.
Whoa, yeah, let's do this.
Is there anything
we can accomplish here?
They have that whole book
With all this different stuff
in there
That they can kind of pick
and choose.
It kind of drives them crazy.
There's so much stuff in here
And no team has ever
accomplished all of it.
They can't do it all,
So it's just
like keep it moving,
Always something to do.
Come on.
Finger flip pavement,
let's do this.
That's a team effort right here.
Team effort.
Same shit, dude,
but just throw a flip in it.
Yeah, dude!
Yes!
Oh!
Right here, holmes.
Yeah!
Motherfuckers!
Whoo!
That was gnarly!
Let's keep knocking these out.
Raven, bob gnar challenge.
And did the fucking thing
barefoot.
Oh, I'll roll into that shit
barefoot.
You do a trick barefoot,
And at the end,
jake phelps judges, like,
The gnarliest trick barefoot.
It's a good one, dude.
The barefoot challenge.
Yeah, my toe's all fucked up,
so that's gonna hurt.
But I'm down to try.
Oh, god.
Look at this guy.
He looks like a statue up there.
Come on.
He's gonna roll --
He's rolling into it.
Oh, dude,
he's about to roll in, man.
Fuck, dude.
Fuck!
You got it, man!
Whoo!
Oh, fucking shit!
Got that shit, ray.
This little piece
of fucking concrete sticks up
And scares the shit out of you.
Show him the piece of chicken!
There's a trophy!
Got that chicken
when you get it!
All right, jimmy.
Right here, dude.
Oh!
Yeah, boy!
Whoo!
That was next level, dude.
Oh, my god!
Fuckin' big dog!
Give this boy a piece of chicken
right now!
Wow! Look at this. Straight into
the fucking lawn.
It doesn't get much better
than that.
Straight into some chicken.
Whoo!
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, look who it is!
You better stay away!
What's up, spike?
Damn, lou,
already got a nose ring?
No way.
Oh, it's just a nose bleed, oh.
We just ran into
the chocolate team.
It's the first day
of "king of the road."
Chocolate team rules!
Whoo!
Looks like they're packing up.
They're leaving.
So it's out turn.
[ punk music playing over ]
Whoo!
Film the most amazing line
you can down the two rock rails.
♪
Yeah, bill!
Hell yeah!
Whoo!
Yeah, daddy!
Billy's epic, dude.
He can flick under rails,
do anything he wants.
A cool bag of tricks.
He's the veteran.
He's so sick.
I can't say this around him,
But he was one of
my favorite skaters growing up.
Did you get the line here?
Billy's the oldest team
rider we have.
I didn't originally pick billy
To come on "king of the road"
this year.
Then when I told him
who was going instead of him,
He made me take him.
Bringing the flow guys
on "king of the road" is like,
Dude, they got the freshest legs
so they're not gonna wear out.
Whoever the oldest guy
on the team, you know,
Is fucking taking ice baths.
These guys
are just eating candy bars
And, like, "what do we gotta
do next?" they're amped.
So I'm bring half the crew
Of flow guys
or new ams if I can.
Man: I think in the back
of everyone's mind,
They know that skating is
like a...
Like, it's a fleeting career.
Maybe billy feels like he's
at a different door than axel.
It's like axel
is opening up this door
To, like, this career,
And I think billy might be
at a different door
That he's trying
to weigh options
And figure it all out, you know?
I happen to think he's one
of the greatest,
And he makes toy machine cool.
Jock ass bill over here.
Yeah, fuck them.
Trying to win.
"king of the road"
might be my last one.
Even more motivation
for me to go out there
And try to make a difference.
He said,
"if I go," he said
He'll cut his leg off,
he said
He'll make out with whoever
even though he's married.
He'll shave his eyebrows.
You guys have seen them.
His eyebrows
are that fucking big.
Like giant caterpillars on
there.
So he says he's down.
So we'll see.
This is billy's
last ride, I guess.
We'll see.
Oh, shit.
All right, bill.
This challenge
was meant for you.
Classic bill maneuver.
Yeah!
Oh!
One try!
My god!
Yeah, bill.
First try, kicky beef --
down a whole stack.
I don't even know how many --
there's a lot, though.
Oh!
Yeah, fucking right!
Yeah, bill!
Who does that?
That's our dude.
Holy shit!
Thanks, bud.
That was insane, dude.
That was so sick.
Holy crap.
I don't feel
like I'm a team leader,
But I guess I have to now.
Maybe the old dude
Starts landing tricks,
get everyone hyped.
Yes!
Got 'em both the first try
down the stairs,
Which is pretty impressive.
They're both gross tricks,
but it's awesome to get 'em.
Billy's the king
of doing some gross shit.
♪
Oh!
Let's go get some chicken.
♪ where did the time go?
♪ it's 7:00,
and the sun's sets slow ♪
♪ where did the time go?
♪ I'm lost all the time
and I can't get home ♪
There's some towels here
Where they tried
to dry up the water.
So at least one
of the teams has been here.
♪ life's too short
to be so worried ♪
♪ I don't want to go
That's insane.
♪ I don't want to go
It's 100 points
just to do a line.
We're gonna have to light it up.
♪ I just want to go
but I don't know why ♪
♪
Yeah!
I like that!
Ready?
Yeah!
That's my clark!
Yeah, baby!
♪
♪
Birdhouse is getting sent
to mark hubbard's lair.
What's up, man?
Dude, you got a fucking
insane compound here.
He's one of the original
diy concrete guys.
In 1990, him and red
built burnside together.
If you're gonna build
a skate park
With your bare hands
in the rain,
You're not some fucking sissy.
It's funny, you know.
It's not like we were pioneers
or anything.
You know, it's just
like we just did it
Before people really
Knew you could get away
with that kind of shit.
15 years later,
we built,
You know, over 400 skate parks
all over the world.
This is grindline office.
This is where all
the magic happens.
Where we're changing the world
one skate park at a time.
Well, five at a time, actually.
This is the highest
concentration
Of skate parks in the world.
Per capita, it's astronomical.
Does that make any sense?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Man: Mark hubbard has a whole
empire at his house,
Including a band practice space
For his band grindline,
the band,
Which is pretty incredible.
He's a tough guy.
I don't know
if these guys have ever
Met somebody
like mark hubbard before.
Come on!
Do it like you mean it, man!
Let's play something!
I think I drank, like, a 12-pack
waiting for 'em to show up.
He bringing the beer?
Right down.
Oh, my goodness!
Man: Now he has an indoor vert
ramp at his house.
Man:
He invented his own tricks.
Sway bar,
fucking comatose, detonator.
All those tricks,
you've never done them before
In your life.
Man: They're gonna attempt
to learn
His original tricks.
He has a bunch of,
like, signature maneuvers
That he invented.
Back when I was,
Like, coming up,
I wasn't that good.
I mean, I can skate,
But I wasn't as talented as,
Like, a lot
of my friends, you know?
So I was kind of just --
Came up with some silly tricks.
The sass flip and the sway bar
And the kickflip texas.
That's it right there.
Whoo!
That was it.
That's what he's gotta do.
♪ they got you
you got it good ♪
♪ you can't get me
Man: He's been skating
for 40 years.
It was fun to watch
him struggle to do, like,
Some shit 'cause
those dudes, you know, are rad.
They're really good.
Fucking tail on him,
fucking throw it in!
Come on!
Holy shit, that was frightening.
Got one more trick
he's gotta do.
Check it out,
check it out.
Oh, my -- hubs!
Oh, my -- hubs!
Oh, big time.
Takes a lot
to take that dude out.
Oh, my god.
No mas, no mas, no mas.
The show's over, homey.
Oh, he fucked up!
Get it!
That's a make,
that's a make!
Ben's about
to handplant on my head.
Ben's about to handplant my head
right now.
You ready?
Oh!
That was weak!
That was weak!
Hey, fuck you!
Yeah!
It's what skateboarding
is all about.
It's being spontaneous.
You know,
and just fucking weird.
Yeah!
Maybe if I, like,
put a pillow on my back.
Oh, my god, dude!
That was insane!
That shit is so scary!
Oh, my god!
Get it!
Spinal!
Oh, oh!
Yeah!
Girls night out, weirdos.
How was it?
It was fucking gnarly!
We're trying
to finish up
Our city challenge here
at the vert ramp.
We gotta do a song
with these dudes.
Clint!
What's up?
Yeah, let's go jam!
Let's get it!
[ playing ]
Oh, my --
Grindline, the band,
writes songs about everything.
You know, there's some self-help
messages in there.
Shut off the goddamn fucking
drum set
Like a real fucking man!
Put the fucking --
I ain't signing off
On this thing.
We could have had, you know,
a little more practice.
But it's music.
You know, it's most interesting
If it happens
right there on the spot.
The song is called
"space from this."
Is everybody ready?!
Not that complicated.
Let's go.
One, two, three, four!
[ screaming unintelligibly ]
I mean, I love playing music
with people.
You know,
when it's just nobody
Knows what they're doing,
it's great.
Could have been worse.
Let's just put it that way.
Fucking brought down
the house, man!
Fuck, yeah, boys!
All right.
Yeah, fuck, yeah!
I don't know
what the fuck I sang.
But I sang
and kicked everything over,
And I think I broke the mic.
So, hopefully, we can leave now.
Everybody needs to go.
We gotta get out.
We gotta get the fuck
out of here, dude.
We got so much shit to do.
♪
Yeah?
Johnny jones
About to boss up
and ollie off the van.
All we need is an ollie.
Let's do it.
We'll light it up.
Johnny jones is the new guy.
I can't imagine being
in his shoes.
He's like flow,
he's not really on the team.
This trip's
gonna break him in, for sure.
Man: I'm 18 right now.
Turn 19 on "king of the road."
Being chosen to skate "king
of the road"
Is the opportunity, to like,
show what you got.
So that's what I'm trying
to do right now.
This is a dream
come true for me.
Just like over there.
Get 'em, johnny!
In the rain.
Everything's in the rain
when you're in seattle.
Let's get out action
right here, son.
Oh!
Fuck!
Ouch!
Come here.
I really like the way
johnny jones, he --
He approached,
you know, this trip.
It's his dream.
He's still you,
And I think that
if he skates with them,
He's gonna learn even more.
Damn, dude.
This fucking sucks!
Oh!
Whoo!
Oh, johnny!
You got it.
You got it, you got it!
Johnny: They just keep telling
you, just,
You know, just do it.
You got it. Focus.
It's like,
"all right, man.
It's kind
of fucking hard, you know?
Perfect.
Oh!
For some reason, we just
picked the worst moment in time
To try to jump off the van.
It's like the worst ground.
It was raining.
It was a messy scene.
Oh! Fuck! Oh!
Cramping?
Yeah.
We can hold off, dude.
No, fuck it.
One more.
Okay!
♪
Oh, man!
So fucking slippery.
If it wasn't wet,
I could have got it.
You had it for a sec.
Warning!
Please do not attempt --
Wait, please do not attempt.
All right.
Woman:
I'm not talking to you!
I know people who'll fuck you up
for everything you're saying!
Hey, dan lou, what's going on?
Her what?
She just took her weave,
her hair off.
-Really?
-Yeah.
Imagine they start fighting.
No! Fuck --
[ screaming ]
There it is, there it is!
Ooh!
[ women screaming ]
[ screaming ]
I've never
seen anything like that before!
Oh, my!
That was insane.
What just happened?
Some sort
of neighborhood gathering.
Basic street fight.
I kind of shit
doesn't happen in belgium.
I've never seen anything
like that.
Wow, wow, wow!
Whoo!
We're trying to knock out
some miscellaneous challenges
Right now,
and it's raining,
So we decided to come
to a skate park
With a six-foot section.
Blake carpenter
is gonna try to drop in
On a rack of ribs.
On a rack of ribs.
How do the ribs feel?
Fucking soft as a dick.
I think you'll get it first try.
Wait, three bugs.
He shit on the first one.
Oh, my god, blake.
That was scary as fuck.
Those ribs are running slippery.
Oh!
Don't fuck up the ribs.
You all right?
Yeah.
That looked fucking terrible.
All right, this is -- this is --
Oh, no!
Raw dogging them!
Oh, you got it, man!
Oh!
Whoa, blake!
Yes!
No!
Oh!
Fuck!
That one hurt.
Look at this --
tenderize it.
We're running out of energy,
But I know we can still do
something before we go to bed.
No.
Yeah.
No. There's nothing --
it's fucking raining, dude.
I know, it's gonna rain
even harder tomorrow.
All right, we can work on this
on our way to the hotel.
Somebody can cry.
We can get some titties.
That's not gonna happen.
You can't see titties at night.
One of you guys
should eat a page.
This one looks good.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
We'll have a good team dinner.
Somebody's gotta take a shit
on the way back.
Well.
It doesn't have to be today!
It should be.
You don't postpone,
motherfuckers.
You don't pre-game, either.
You don't what?
You don't just pre-game a turd
in the van right away.
Right now, were here
at escape ats skate park
To skate the 12-inch-tall ledge.
We can get a lot
of points here
If dudes start
stacking tricks here for sure.
♪
Fuck!
Hit it?
Yeah.
♪ get down
Yeah, stevie!
Fuck yeah, steve!
Oh!
Fuck yeah, l.D.
20 points.
I can get --
I can get the 20 ones all day.
♪ before the cats get down
put it away ♪
Yeah, stevie, dude!
Fuck yeah.
Called that one, baby!
What do we get?
Front blunt
to fakie nosegrind.
Yep.
Flaq's just got that?
Yeah.
Sick.
First night.
We'll probably be out late night
trying some random stuff.
I think that we should go
for every single challenge.
It's the approach
to win a battle.
Man: You look
at all those challenges,
All the fucked up ones,
It's never really
like a decision,
Like, "okay,
I'm gonna --
I'm gonna
drink the piss,"
Or like, "I'm getting
the tattoo of this and that."
It's always kind
of like spur of the moment.
And you're like,
"all right, well...
Who's up?"
Johnny.
What else?
Water out, water in.
Drink your own pee.
Hey, wheat!
Will you film johnny
Drink his own piss real quick?
I'm gonna just do it!
You know,
just try to get points.
So...
Fuck!
He's gonna drink his piss?
Fuck.
Yeah, turn the light on.
[ urinating ]
Fuck.
Look how golden that shit is.
Oh, man!
Fucking --
that's apple juice.
♪ said it's not advised,
but it sure is up to you ♪
Johnny what.
Whiskey.
Oh, my god, it's gonna taste
so fucking -- stand back.
I don't want to fucking spit
out all this shit.
Just fucking don't even --
Like, plug your nose
or something.
♪ devil's brew
Yes!
He polished it!
♪ devil's brew
whoo!
I think it's gross!
Ha! Ha!
Swallow it!
Swallow it, don't puke!
Whoo!
It's tasty!
Oh, my god, that's nasty.
It's tasty!
You guys.
Oh, yeah!
Oh! Yes!
Once the competition starts,
you want to stay as far out --
Away from the other teams
as you can.
So we went
and did other challenges
While everybody else was here.
This is like the only spot
you could do a trick
With all four wheels
on the roof or the ceiling.
♪ we don't mind your soul
♪ turn around,
got the time ♪
♪ free your mind
to lose control ♪
Whoa!
♪ sweetie-pie, meet her
on the ceiling ♪
That was fucking tight.
You did that so -- so good.
Yeah.
Gotta see it, you know,
Whether it's light or dark.
You gotta pace yourself,
but you gotta work, too.
♪ turn around,
we got the time ♪
♪ free you mind
to lose control ♪
We pretty much did
all the city challenges.
The first two years,
they were trying to get
Me to do the makeout thing.
They were, like, trying get
me to do it this year.
And I got a girlfriend,
And they're like, "dude,
just fucking do it."
And I was like, "fuck!
Dude, I can't do it."
I'm allegedly making out
with some dude.
Like, can you tell me, please?
Clint did it the first year,
I did it last year.
Maybe we'll, like, throw mike d.
On it or something.
What are you doing right now?
Why are you on the phone?
I'm fucking down to do it.
Like, I'm gonna fucking go in.
Handle it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna do it.
Who am I making out with?
Uh, yeah, I think it's me.
I think I'm gonna do it.
It's michael?!
Really?
I haven't done it yet.
[ soft r&b playing ]
Yeah! All right!
All right, we got it.
First one out of the way.
Thank you.
I was, like,
trying to run it by my chick,
And I was like,
"it doesn't mean anything."
Like, I'm just gonna --
I'm kissing girls
I'm never gonna
talk to them again.
Like, it's just,
like, a little kiss
And then...
You know, we're gone.
And she's like not having it.
Ready? All right.
One --
One, two...
All right!
On two.
I don't want to do it.
But if I have to do it,
I'm definitely gonna catch
a bunch of shit from her.
But, uh...
I don't know, see what happens.
Can I see it first?
Yeah.
It's actually
"king of the road."
♪ I needed that something
thank you.
The most makeouts challenge
Has long captured
the imagination of
"king of the road" competitors,
But it's only worth
50 points.
There's an entire book
worth of stuff to do.
But yet these people will go
to the ends of the earth
To try to get the most makeouts.
They're like,
"we'll stay
Out until 3:00
in the morning
At the --
at the off chance
That they're gonna get
to suck face with somebody.
Oh, thank you.
So last year, clive
Shattered the records
of makeouts,
Like, 88 makeouts.
♪ 'cause you know that,
baby, it's true ♪
♪ you're the one thing
I've been here waiting for ♪
♪ 'cause you know we're better
as two ♪
What is this?
What is it?
Get in there, birthday girl.
♪ I can't believe
It was just like
a spit-swapping extravaganza.
It was just -- it was insane.
♪ I get butterflies,
I feel so alive ♪
♪ when I kiss you
We always kind of take
that a little too serious.
Like, we spend a lot
of time trying to get makeouts
When other teams
are like, you know,
Like, not really
caring about it.
But it's funny to us.
I don't know.
♪ so, baby, it's true
♪ you're the one that
I've been here waiting for ♪
♪ 'cause you know we're
better as two ♪
I think that was
the best kiss I got.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck yeah.
She fucking nailed it.
♪ I can't believe...
I gotta pee so bad,
I'll fill my shoe up.
It smells like somebody already
did the challenge right now.
Fuckin' smells like piss.
Pretty crowded.
Follow me.
Menswear's good.
It's a crowded area, right?
No, dude,
you gotta be around people.
Oh, let's go.
Like, how crowded is crowded?
I don't get it.
I can't go.
Go, just go.
Are you filming?
Just do it.
You actually gotta
give me a second.
I'm trying.
Don't look at me.
I can't --
I can't do it
when somebody's, like,
Staring right at me.
Right, right, right.
No, not a movie.
Oh.
Just...
Just messing around.
♪
A little puddle.
Like, I don't know, man.
There's, like,
such a small amount of pee.
Can you see it?
Do we get points?
I don't know, man.
We question it.
The guy
fucking looked at me weird.
He knew what I was doing.
Like a little dog pee --
It was like a small amount.
You peed it weird.
Yeah, I peed weird.
Like, fucking give me a break.
I'm going back in the van.
Fuck y'all.
Let's go.
Yeah.
I'd say that I'm fucking
so tired, my god.
Oh, my god.
I can't move.
I can't move.
I can't move!
I can't move.
I'm so tired, man.
Man: First day was crazy.
This whole thing is crazy,
but, yeah, first day is crazy.
A lot
of our dudes killed it today.
How do you feel?
I just need rest.
Fuck it, I kept getting,
like, cramps up here.
Thought it was gonna
be more tricks,
But there's not
as many, like, tricks.
It's, like, more
like shenanigans with tricks.
Want to do the stickers
right now?
Which -- which stickers?
Somebody's gotta check
in dressed in stickers.
Fully naked?
Raven, my dude.
It's on!
Get the stickers.
Oh, yeah, let me get some
of these thrasher ones.
Just do, like,
one of these, that's it.
Dude!
I'm just kidding.
That's so --
make it look all -- oh!
Where did raven go?
Over there.
He's getting geared up.
Yeah.
[ chuckling ]
You can do a sort of belt,
like, the whole -- just that.
I did like an underwear.
Dude, it seriously
was so incredibly painful
To pull them off your penis.
Yeah, when I did it,
you can make
Yourself something with,
Like, paper or whatever,
So you're not sticking stickers
right on --
I did it on my dick,
it was...
Yeah, I --
I didn't want to --
I kind of let you do that 'cause
it was like funnier.
Yeah.
Oh, gosh!
Oh, my gosh,
there's children up there.
Don't do this.
This isn't awkward at all.
Finishing touches.
Oh, ho!
Oh!
Yeah, bro!
Very cute skirt.
I had to make sure
everything was safe, man.
Can't have any fucking mishaps
in this outfit.
Hey!
You got a credit card?
A little skirt, man!
Go get 'em, ray!
I'm checking in with chocolate.
Okay.
Last name tershy.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yes.
Looking good.
Oh, thank you.
You, too.
I like that tie you got there.
Oh, thanks, man.
Pretty hot, nice one.
Not as good as your nipples.
Yeah.
Just need a couple
signatures from you.
I'll get you the room keys.
Have a good night.
You bet.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
How you feeling?
Great.
That makes two of us.
It's day two.
I feel like shit.
Cooking up a delicacy.
Homemade pop-tarts.
We're gonna put them
on the grill.
By the time we get to the tattoo
shop, they should be done.
So we gotta put them
on the engine block.
I that's the hot spot.
These ones,
I'm gonna leave open,
let them saute nice.
All right. Ooh, that's kind of
hot right there, too, already.
Really?
That is the hot spot.
Ooh.
That's extra crispy right there.
All right.
They look good, man.
Do it.
Axel, what's your plan today?
I don't know. Doing what
everybody else does, I guess.
Skate.
Make out, baby!
We got --
We got two hotties
lined up for him.
Yeah, I'm stoked.
They just told me
I had to do it.
He's the cutest.
It's that euro charm.
Hey, so somebody get a bunch
of water
Or any kind of liquid ready
if this thing catches on fire.
I'm hungry, mike!
Are they warm?
That one's the warmest.
How is it?
Mmm!
Cheers.
♪
Eli, when are you gonna start
going shirtless?
You gotta rip your shirt
off in a place.
In public, and then
go shirtless for five days.
I mean, I'm only assuming.
Like, you look best
with your shirt off.
Five days?!
That's a lot.
Like, if you go get shirtless
right now,
Like, is this a day?
Yo, mary poppins,
fucking move the van!
♪
Should we get a clarification
on the ruling?
Rip your shirt off
in a public place
And remain shirtless
for five days.
Come on, now, let's do it.
Agreed.
All right.
You good?
Yeah.
No, it's fine.
♪ I am a real american
yeah.
♪ fight for the rights of
every man ♪
♪ I am a real american
yeah.
Oh, fuck.
♪ fight for what's right,
fight for your life ♪
♪
♪ when it comes crashing down
and it hurts ♪
Raven went in there,
hulked the shirt.
Now he's gotta go five days,
no tee.
♪ you gotta take a stand
♪ it don't help to hide
♪ if you hurt my friends
then you hurt my pride ♪
♪ I gotta be a man
I can't let slide ♪
Got it, elijah.
♪ I am a real american
Yeah!
♪ fights for the rights
♪ of every man
you did it!
♪ I am a real american
No, I took them off.
It's hard to ride like this.
Oh, yeah, buddy.
Johnny jones!
Oh, fuck!
♪ I feel strong about
right and wrong ♪
Oh, shit!
Seemed like I was going
a little faster.
All right, fuck it.
♪ and I don't take trouble
♪ for very long
yeah!
Oh!
♪ I got something deep
inside of me ♪
♪ courage is a thing
that keeps us free ♪
♪ I am a real american
♪ fight for the rights
yeah, stevie!
♪ of every man
♪ I am a real american
♪ fight for what's right,
fight for your life ♪
Fucking do it!
♪ I am a real american
♪ fight for the rights
of every man ♪
♪ I am a real
Got it?
That was good.
Damn, I banged my fucking head
on this fucking shit,
You know what I mean?
Fuck yeah, eli.
♪
Oh, this girl said she'd rather
make out with me.
Oh, shit! You are!
Damn, give me some.
We got a --
we got a whole scheme going.
You gotta do the running swipe
where you go...
This is so fun!
Most fun
you can have just sitting here.
I'm gonna be getting
tinder matches from seattle
For the next two months.
All right.
Check out the prospects.
Day two of the trip,
We're going to look
at this baby rail right now.
It's raining,
But we're gonna check it
out just in case
Because we heard
it's pretty small
And we might be able to do
some of the small rail tricks.
Oh, sorry.
We're just looking around.
We skateboard.
We were gonna skate
down this banister.
We're skateboards.
It's kind of wet,
Though, so we probably
won't do it right now.
Sorry.
We're not gonna skate.
Might come back later.
Want to make out?
♪ come on, boys!
♪
Yeah!
Yeah!
Fuck yeah!
Yeah.
Fuck yeah, aaron. Whoo!
We're getting laced up
right now to do that.
Hopefully, I do it first try
so my feet aren't all bloody.
'cause you're supposed
to do a flipper heelflip.
Where's he going?
Clint's got the flippers on.
Oh!
Oh!
Ow!
What did he do,
step in dog shit?
He just stepped on a thorn.
A fucking thorn, dude!
Thorn in my flipper.
Ow!
First try!
Okay.
♪ swagger, boom, boom, swagger,
boom-boom-boom ♪
♪ swagger, swagger, boom, boom
♪ swagger, boom-boom-boom
Oh!
♪ I see her walk,
she was alking like a sailor ♪
I thought it was gonna be
a little bit easier, actually.
Oh!
Fuck yeah.
Billy!
♪ she goes, boom,
swagger, swagger ♪
I found a couple pieces
of wood to ollie the creek.
Ollie it?
Yeah, we gotta ollie a creek.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
♪ boom, boom, swagger
♪ boom-boom-boom
Ooh, it's got a kicker, too.
Damn, this is gonna be sick.
Ollie the creek!
♪ I hear her talking,
hear her talking like a cat ♪
♪ I said I wish that
I could talk like that ♪
♪ I hear her
♪ going like, roar!
♪ whoa
♪ yeah
Found it!
This is a legit creek, though.
This is gotta be the gnarliest
creek down here.
You got it right here, baby.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Whoo!
Guys!
Fuck yeah, clive.
I can't fucking believe
that actually worked.
That was the sketchiest
fucking thing ever.
We got some shit down here?
It was pretty productive.
We did all right.
♪ boom, boom, boom
♪ she goes boom
Oh, fuck.
Stopped at the walmart to pick
up a bunch of essentials
And just random shit,
Like longboard, roller blades,
And trying shades on.
Like, weird shit like that.
Aha!
A little baby funnel
to stick up my butt
And do the butt chug with.
I've got 12 makeouts so far.
So I'd say we're off
to an all right start.
We're aiming for 10 a day.
Excuse me.
Hey, could you help us out
for a second?
We're on this crazy
scavenger hunt.
I have to make out
with two ladies today.
I have to kiss two ladies.
No!
We haven't seen anyone yet.
Sorry.
Do you want to help us out
with something?
What do you need?
We're on "king of the road."
Oh, no way.
We have a challenge.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Would you be willing
to kiss my friend for, like,
Two seconds.
Dude.
Can you?
All right.
Fuck yeah!
There it is!
Just for, like, two seconds.
Come on, feel it!
Get it!
That's all we needed.
Thank you.
You fucking killed it.
Thank you.
Yes.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, she's gonna be bummed.
Yeah, she's pretty bummed.
I...
I told her I was gonna do it,
and I told her I wasn't,
And then she doesn't really know
that I'm doing it yet.
She'll be bummed
when she sees the video.
She just asked me if mike
davis was in there.
Yeah.
And I was like,
"you just made out with him."
She knew who mike was.
What's that?
You know snax, right?
Snax?
Yeah.
Yeah! Snax is my fucking boy!
You know that's his kid
in the car, right?
No, it's not!
There's a kid in that vehicle.
Oh, fucking no!
Oh, that's my homey's,
like, ex-wife.
You're in trouble now.
Fuck, dude, snax is my boy!
Damn it!
I've been
to you guy's house before.
I've been to --
I've been to your --
I'm -- met you before.
To the duplex.
I'm sorry.
Fuck, I gotta call
snax right now.
He's gotta redo
that challenge now, huh.
Busted!
God damn it.
[ honks ]
On the next
"king of the road"...
We're in seattle.
This is tier weather, dude.
They don't know
what their next city is.
See if they can make the best
use of the time.
We're gonna make out.
Or if they're just
gonna fucking complain.
Fuck!
Fucking asshole.
You're costing us money here!
Who wants some fucking
banana split?
That was sick.
Fuck!
That was insane.
Give me the cake.
I gotta do it.
Fuck.
You want to touch it up?
Go, go, go, go!
Motherfuckers!
Check!
Yeah.